Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy days. Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days. The weekend comes, my cycle hums. Ready to

you.

These days are ours.

I feel free.

These days are ours.

Share them with me.

Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

It's all right. You can't be wrong.

Rocking and rolling all week long.

Monday,

Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

Saturday, what a day.

Grooving all week with you.

Feeling so excited, start of a brand new day.

The sun couldn't shine much brighter, cause everything is going our way.

Something good is growing,

nothing could get us down.

We're rolling, we're not slowing, ever since you came around.

And every day that the world is mine. I've got you.

And you've got me.

I can't think of any place I'd rather be.

I can't think of any place I'd rather be.

And every time I hear your name.

Baby, wrap your arms around.

every day that the world is mine.

I got you and you got me.

I can't think of any parts I'd rather...

I can't think of any place I'd rather...

every day that the world is mine.

Maybe I missed something.

Hans, you know, the music is beautiful. The kids are beautiful. Life is

beautiful. Not so beautiful when you're doing a book, Sal. Who's keeping those

books, Mice?

I've got to risk it. Pete, I'll take over, partner. Don't worry about it.

Besides, I'm good with figures.

Gloria McInerney, American History. American History, huh?

1890, Sherman Antitrust Act.

That's very good. Thank you. It's nice meeting you.

I pray for... Will you excuse me a moment?

Sure.

All right, hey, sit down. Fill me in. What's that?

She's doing the faculty.

I just got done showing her the basketball court.

Fun for home.

You know, Fonz, I don't have to ask out every girl I see.

You're absolutely right. She turned you down, right? Flat.

I don't understand. I was charming, witty, jovial.

You know what she said to me when I asked her out?

She said, no, thank you.

She's very polite.

Yeah, but no is no.

If you're wondering if the field is clear, I'm inviting you to take your

shot. That's very generous of you. Thank you. Thank you. Do you mind if I watch,

though? I need some pointers.

Well, I usually do this one -on -one, you know, but if you want to take a

yeah, you can kind of blend into the woodwork. Sure, right.

And if you like what you see, don't applaud. You know what embarrasses me?

Gloria, sit right down. So, we're colleagues, right?

Of course you want to get to know me better.

So what do you say, Saturday night, dancing under the moon, cheek to cheek,

and me, what do you say?

No. Thank you.

Well, I really should be going.

It was a pleasure to meet you, Arthur.

And thank you, Roger, for showing me around.

I'll see you both at school.

Bye -bye. Bye.

For God's sake, no

thank you.

She was polite.

Anybody see that?

Is everybody eating? Everybody's eating.

It's never happened before.

If Fonz had had to happen sometime, every streak has to come to an end. Look

Lou Gehrig. He played in 2 ,130 games consecutively, and then it ended.

Lou Gehrig died.

That was a bad example. The man is dead.

Fonz, you're getting crazy. That's right. I'm getting crazy. All right. So,

she's married, right? She's engaged.

Maybe an idiot.

Right. Sure.

That's why she didn't go out with me.

Yeah.

Oh, that poor girl. When she finds out who she said no, thank you.

Let's go, girls.

Hey, there's my boy.

Oh, yeah. Come here.

Uncle Fonz.

Hey, Uncle Fonz. Oh, there you are. How you doing?

Look at this, you know that? First week, you look just like Daddy.

Second week, you look like Mommy.

Yeah, this week you look like Alfred Hitchcock. All kids, all babies look

Alfred Hitchcock. Not me, I look like James Dean.

Do I love you?

Give me a hug. Give me a kiss.

Huh? Huh?

Yes.

Listen, both of you, don't mention anything to Arthur about what that girl

to him at Arnold's today. He's probably very sensitive about it.

Mrs. C, I'm here to fix the bottle warmer. Anything else while I'm here?

No, thank you.

Oh, Arthur.

I didn't mean to mention that. No, thank you, business. You just fix whatever

you want to. It'll make you feel better.

Hold it.

Who told?

that somebody was sitting at the next table in Arnold's and told, uh... Jenny

Piccolo.

Who? Jenny Piccolo.

Piccolo? Right.

The mouth that ate Milwaukee.

Now everybody's gonna know my business, right?

I'm sorry about Gloria, but, you know, those things can happen to anyone.

All right, who told you?

Oh, my barber told me.

Yeah, he heard it from Sam the butcher.

Harry the mailman told him. Oh, this is great. Now the whole city knows my

shame. All right, you give me less than 24 hours, I'll straighten this out. What

are you going to do? Hey, I'm going to turn my charm up to broil. I mean red

hot, you know.

I'm going to take care of this thing. This Gloria, no thank you, Mac and

You don't stand a chance.

Arthur, when I said you could bring me home, I meant my home, not yours.

A home is a home.

I really should be here.

You know, you're right. Let's go up to my place. No, no, no, no, no. My place

would be even better. You know, you're absolutely right. No, Arthur, wait. You

don't understand.

There's something you don't know.

What? I don't know.

You're a wonderful, respectable teacher type.

I brought you to a very respectable middle class home.

You know what they do in this home? They picnic together.

They barbecue together. They have taffy pools, you know. They're probably

upstairs. I'll get it. Arthur, wait.

Hey, Cunningham, come on down.

Arthur, really, I should leave. Hey, you know what?

I think if we look in here, we might find a little surprise, huh? What?

Oh.

Little elves probably left them for you, huh?

I hope the spelling is correct.

That's, uh, very sweet. Yeah.

Look at this. Look at this.

The Cunninghams left you a note? Yeah.

It says Gloria.

You know what? The Fonzarelli is a fine, upstanding, and very cool guy.

You're really something else. You know, and so are you. Look at this. We're

laughing. You're laughing. I'm laughing. What does that mean? It means we should

dance the night away together. Uh, no.

Thank you.

There you go again with that no thank you. What, do you get paid for saying

that?

Please, don't pressure me. I'm not pressuring you. It's just no thank you

this, no thank you for that. You're not just saying no thank you to me.

You're saying no thank you to life.

You're getting a little worked up. I'll just catch the bus.

Say no thank you to this.

So I thought that, you know, like she was a shy girl and she wanted the guy to

make the aggressive move.

Well, apparently you were wrong.

I know that now.

I mean, why did she have to run out of there? Why couldn't you just, like, slap

my face or call a cop? It was so humiliating. Call her and find out. No.

not? Because Roger was talking to her. That's enough.

You know...

I made a woman scream once.

How'd you do that, Al?

I sat on her dog.

Roger, did you talk to her? Yeah. All right. I mean, is she mad at me? Does

hate me? She doesn't hate you, Fonzie. She don't hate me. And there's a perfect

explanation as to why she got so upset and flustered when you kissed her. Hey,

that's my boy. All right, there's a perfect explanation.

All right, tell him.

She's a nun. Hey, she's a nun. That's it.

She's a nun?

She's a nun. I kissed a nun.

I didn't know.

Mrs. McGuigan, the gown is gorgeous.

Carol Burnett and Friends is coming to TV Land. We are talking about national

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Actually, it's on all weekend long. Well, forgive me for living. Two

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I kissed a nun.

I'm a nun kisser.

Hans, you're not to blame. You didn't know she was a nun. None of us did.

I asked her out myself.

Imagine if you will, gentlemen.

What would have happened if she didn't run out of that room?

What I might have done.

I should be sent to a leper colony.

That's not good either.

Lepers are nice people.

I just shouldn't be around people.

He seems to be in really bad shape.

You know,

Chachi, you know what he told me? What?

He said he never wanted to see another girl.

He's giving a pleasure.

Hey, Chachi. Hey, Roger. How are you? Meet Cindy.

Isn't she cute? Give me a kiss, Cindy. Hi, Cindy. Oh, I tell you, sit yourself

down right there. Yeah, we thought we'd come in for a bite to eat, you know, go

out to Inspiration Point, celebrate the sunset, you know.

Excuse us, Cindy. Excuse us, Cindy, all right?

Isn't she lovely? Fonz, what's the matter? What's the chick?

Yeah, right.

Life goes on, you know what I mean?

Fonz, last time I talked to you, you told me you were going to start wearing

those pajamas with the little feet built in. Yeah, well, don't worry about it,

you know what I mean? I mean, so what? So I kiss the nun!

It's all right. That's just spilt milk under a bridge, you know.

This is great. Don't touch me.

I've got to tell you something.

I've got to tell you something. What's that? We were really worried about you.

Don't worry about me.

Don't worry about me.

Fives is back. I'm back. All right. Hey, Cindy, I'll be right back.

Don't worry.

He seemed to bounce right back.

I thought he was going to bounce out of the building.

Chad. Archie, how are you? Fine, how are you?

Yes, have you seen Fonzie? Oh, yeah. Al, you're going to go out on a date

dressed up like a priest?

That's really sick, Al. Oh, Roger, this is Father Delvecchio, Al's twin brother.

The father.

Father, this is Roger Phillips. Nice to meet you, Roger. Nice to meet you.

There's two of you?

That's amazing.

Just think how amazed our mother was.

Al told me that he wanted me to see Fonzie. He was having a little problem.

Not anymore, Father. He's feeling great.

Oh, thank heaven for that.

Yeah, he's in his office now. He came in here with her.

Wow.

Well, I'll go and say hello. It's a shame to waste a house call.

See, Father? It's wonderful how Al seems to be doing very well. We were so

worried about him.

Did he ever tell you the story about how he made a woman scream?

Yeah, Father, he did.

Yeah, poor little dog.

Hello, Fonzie.

Yeah.

doing? Hey, Zippity -Doodle, what a lovely day, huh?

Son, please.

I know misery when I see it.

Life is not a bowl of cherries.

I can't go on with the charade.

Why don't you tell me what the problem is? Perhaps I could help.

They didn't tell you what I did? No, but whatever it is, believe me, I've heard

a lot worse.

You can't shock me.

Close it.

I kissed the nun.

What

you meant

was that there was this little old nun and you helped her with her groceries

she gave you a kiss on the cheek.

Young nun, no groceries on her lips.

You know when a guy's got a lot of guilt, I mean so much guilt it feels

Osmobile on his back.

Well, you give him punishment, right? You mean penance. Yeah, that's right.

Oh, Father, I need penance. I mean, I mean rough and tough penance.

Give me plagues.

I want lice. Give me boils.

Let it rain cows and pigs.

I mean, let them crush me into the earth like a little bug.

Hans, it hasn't rained farm animals in centuries.

Anyway, this is hardly the time and hardly the place.

Why don't you come down to the church? Come to the confessional. We could talk.

You're a good father, father.

I need it now.

I gotta suffer now. I can't live with this.

I'll find it. I gotta suffer.

Arthur, you're being too hard on yourself. God will forgive you.

He kissed on John.

Oh, hi,

Al. I got no time, Howard. Hey, everybody, I found Fonzie. What? He's in

shape than we thought. Where is he?

You won't believe it.

Dunk the dummy. Here we go. You can do it. Throw that ball.

Throw that ball.

All right. Here we go.

No, no, no. Give it up. Go to the Ferris wheel, will you?

I'll tell you something. Somebody dunk the dummy here. Somebody dunk the dummy,

all right? I'll buy you a car.

Hello, Fonzie.

Is that you?

Yes, it's me.

Oh, you're in your suit, too, huh?

I didn't know that nuns could enjoy carnival pleasures.

That's carnal pleasure.

The carnivals are okay.

Can we talk?

You want to talk?

I'm shocked you want to talk. I mean, I thought, I'm sure they removed your

lips.

Gee, you can see the whole carnival from up here.

Oh, yeah. See that? There's the whip over there.

There's the carousel right over there. See that? Yeah. And then there's the

tunnel of love. Don't look at the tunnel of love.

Listen, before you say anything, let me just tell you.

I swear on a long ranger's horse, I did not know you were a nun.

I know that.

What are you doing here?

What am I doing here?

The job to get shot out of a cannon was taken.

Father, you shouldn't punish yourself.

I shouldn't punish myself?

No.

It was as much my fault as it was yours.

Maybe even more so.

I should have just told you I was a nun.

And I shouldn't have gotten hysterical and run off like that. No, you had every

right to do that. You know, I forced myself on your nun lips. Before that

happened, I had some very serious doubts about spending the rest of my life as a

nun.

But then you kissed me, and I had no more doubts.

Thank you. Thank you.

No, no.

No, Fonzie, what I mean is, your kiss was, well, it

was a very severe...

test of my commitment.

And I passed.

He used me as part of a test?

You passed. I failed. That's great.

What do you mean?

Well, even if you weren't a nun, you said no and I forced the issue, you

mean, I promise you. I promise you. I have never grabbed unless the grabby was

up for grabs.

I believe you. One hundred percent.

Whoa. Stop.

This one. A couple of papers, mails in a mailbox.

Yeah. Give me the package.

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Well, come on.

You can buy me some cotton candy.

Well, I got an hour left up here, you know.

Listen, I thought we had settled this. You don't need to punish yourself

anymore. No, no, no. I made a deal with the guy, you know, the owner. And I'd

like to meet my commitments, you know. And I would feel better if I was dumped

just once, you know, like a purge.

Hey, there's my man again.

All right, you can do it this time. Here we go.

Go on, throw that ball.

Throw that ball.

You keep this up, you're going to play dunk the old man, you know?

Hey, I really would like that cotton candy now.

May I?

Goodbye, great sky. Hello, boo.

No one can hold me when I hold you. It ain't so right. It can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all week long.

Nick on the Brady Bunch. Jan fans unite.

It's the historic episode you've all been waiting for.

Jan finally triumphs over Marsha at Haskell's Ice Cream Hut. Stay tuned for

episode 102 only on TV Land.