Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

The weekend comes, my cycle hums. Ready to race to you.

These days are ours.

Happy and free.

Happy days.

These days are ours.

Sheldon McQueen.

Goodbye gray sky, yellow blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you. So right, it can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all week long Monday,

Monday, happy Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days Thursday, Friday, happy days

Saturday, what a day Groovin' all week with you

They always stagger just before I fall.

All right, just one more second. I've almost got it. I wonder what's taking

so long. Who knows?

Maybe Fonzie's playing with late or something.

Is my juice ready?

Almost, Mother.

Wait, Mom. Mother Kelp's got you jumping.

Well, think how she feels. She comes to visit and she sprains her ankle.

I've got it.

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting your friend and mine, direct from Rome,

Whoa!

This is a very important moment in my life, yeah.

What do you think?

It's very... Yeah?

Dancing, yeah.

Come here.

How you doing? Hey,

Fonz,

why'd you grow it? Yeah. I didn't know the Italian word for razor. You know, I

kept pointing it to my face. They kept feeding me.

I thought I'd shave it off later, right? How is Italy?

There wasn't too much pinching, Arthur.

No, but I got my share. I'm black and blue up on the left side.

Listen, just before I go, I'd love to see my man. Oh, yeah, boss. I got it

here. Is that all?

No, no, no. This is just today's. The rest of it's upstairs.

Oh, that's great. Listen, did you happen to see anything that looked, you know,

kind of official or anything like that? No, just the same old stuff.

All the business letters went over to Al's, and the ones with perfume are

here.

Whoa.

But it was nothing like, you know, special or anything like that?

No. Why, expecting something? No, no, no, no, no, no.

I'll catch you later, all right? All right.

Arthur, it's so good to have you back.

Thanks a lot. Oh, Fonz, Fonz, there was a letter from the Board of Education.

Great. Where is it? Al's got it. Well, uh, Al's got it. Yeah, I better go and

see Al. I really missed him.

Besides, the guy goes away for three weeks. I mean, he can't go visit his

letter. Now, partner, I see a letter.

Later.

Oh, that's good to see you. And your beard looks great. Al, the male.

You want your beard. That's right.

Here it is, fun. Coming up. Me. Thanks a lot.

Hi, fun.

What are you guys doing here?

Nothing. Well, why don't you just go get a tape? Oh, we will.

Yeah, good. All right.

Good.

Hi, mate. Grace, why don't you call Clarence out of the kitchen to read my

Clarence!

I was kidding.

Never mind, Clarence.

Whoa.

What is it? Yeah, tell us what it is. Nothing.

All right, hold it.

I'll give you a break.

Go dancing.

You're looking at the new teacher of water mechanics down at Jefferson High

School. Oh, Fonz, come on.

Come on, Fonz, I said you were going to tell us. Yeah.

You think it's funny? I don't think it's that funny. I've been waiting all

summer for this letter.

Yeah, I'm going to teach.

That's right. I mean, I take experts for certain classes like that, you know.

You think it's funny?

I think it is an honor. I can't believe it.

He's on the level. Yeah. Oh, this is a real honor, Fonz. You're going to be a

great teacher, Fonzie.

You know, with the beard, you look like a professor.

Yeah, you think so?

Yeah. Yeah.

I'll keep it. All right. Good luck, partner. Thanks. When do you start?

Tomorrow. That soon? Oh, that doesn't give you much time to prepare.

Prepare what? Well, your curriculum.

What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?

You'll be great, fine.

You think so? Yeah.

Of course.

Of course. I mean, teaching's like a piece of pie, right? You know something,

you pass it on. Sure.

Hey, I wish, uh, I wish that Richie was here, you know? He was the one who would

encourage me.

He always said it was time to pass on my genius to the youth of America.

Hello, I am a professor.

Don't you get the spelling down there?

And, uh, good morning, class.

Good morning, Mr.

Bondarelli. I like that. I like that.

There are no apples up here.

There's not one apple. Don't worry about it. It's the first day. You're going to

love me so much. You're going to bring me fruit, vegetables, meat.

I know, I know, I know. I'm tired.

I don't care what your name is. You're late.

You can bring me an apple or anything, bitchy.

Huh? Forget it. Forget it. It's all right. It's all right.

All right.

We're here to get... Yeah, it's down the hall to the left. Oh, not that.

You want me to fill out a seating chart so you can learn all our names?

That's very thoughtful. That's very nice. Thank you. Be seated.

All right.

We're here to get... Do you want me to empty out all the waste paper baskets

you?

That's very nice of you. Be seated.

All right, look. What I... Could I hang up your coat?

Oh, I got it.

I know what you're talking about. There's one of you in every class, huh?

What's your name?

Fletcher? Mm -mm.

Lowell?

And you want to help me with my code every day on Clap Out the Erasure? Sure.

They don't teach us pets in Agerton.

Hey, what's the curriculum?

Ask Joanie.

All right.

Now, look.

I was talking to Principal Bates, you know?

The bald -headed guy?

Stop, Barney.

And he was saying to me, we're going to meet here twice a week for 36 weeks.

36 weeks? Are you kidding me? I'm going to teach you everything you need to know

about cars in five weeks.

36 weeks? You're going to be a brain surgeon in 36 weeks.

All right, now.

Before class started, I took this carburetor, I removed it from this here

engine. I'm going to teach you how to build a car so fast, you're going to

your friends.

But I don't have any friends. I know.

I said, are you with me? What do you got, binoculars? Get up over here.

All right, now, think it.

Today, we're going to go over the carburetor. We're going to go over the

system, going over the brakes. If we get a chance to loop job first, the

carburetor. Okay.

You got your carburetor, which is sitting on your gasket, which is sitting

your intake manifold like that, all right? You with me so far?

That's good.

Okay, here you go. You take your washer, you put it on your stud. You take your

nut, you put that on your stud, too. And then you tighten it up with what? With

your half -inch so it don't fall off. You pull this new hickey back, you put

on your washer, then you put it on your nut. You tighten it up with your half

-inch because you don't want it to fall off.

You take your hose, you take it to your intake manifold.

You take this to your inlet manifold right here, like that. And who's going

be first?

Green!

I didn't say green light.

All right, get over here, Eugene.

Oh, I... Get over here.

I'll give you a hint. You move your hands.

Yeah, but you went so fast.

Go stand in the corner.

What?

Go stand in the corner. Yeah, but I'm taking down names. I'm going real slow.

stand in the corner.

What did you do to that guy, huh? Use his head to open a locker this morning?

We're talking slow, huh? All right, you're next. Come on. Oh, well, I don't

really... Eugene, what's his name?

Bobby.

Get over here.

Okay.

I take this hose and I put it right underneath there just like that, see?

then I just wind it back a little bit very carefully. You with me on this?

You drink out of the same cup as Eugene.

I was just going.

Please.

You're next.

You can do it. Come on.

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It's a joke, right? I mean, the bell's gonna ring, everybody's gonna come up

here and put it in correctly and everything, right?

Right? Wrong.

All right, get up here and do it.

Do I have to? Yeah, you have to.

Enough, enough. Show it some mercy, will you?

I mean, I don't believe this, you know. I learned this when I was 12 years old.

Some old guy showed me, I got it just like that.

Next time, bring him with you.

What'd you just say?

You didn't teach us nothing.

Hey, do you know who you're talking to here? I just did this for the guys at

Ferrari factory. You know what they did? They stood up and applauded.

Hey, that was a wonderful, they said, huh?

One guy gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Oh, so you're sorry I didn't kiss you?

You're a very lucky fellow, you know. Now, class is over. Get out.

Can I have a transfer slip?

What's that?

You gotta sign a transfer slip so I can get out of this class and into another

one. You wanna get out, huh? Yeah. You're gonna quit?

Yeah. You're gonna quit? Yeah. That's fine with me. All right. I'll give you a

transfer slip.

I'll give you a transfer slip.

Where would a transfer slip stand?

Well, here they are. Get back there, you chief.

All right.

Who else wants a transfer slip?

You all want one. Well, that's just fine with me. You know why? Because then

maybe I'll get some real students in here.

Step right up.

What is your name?

Never mind.

You don't need no transfer slip.

You don't need no transfer slip, and you want to know why?

I'll tell you why.

Because I quit, that's why.

You quit? Yeah.

Who came in?

Hey, it's me, Mrs. K.

You tell Herman to shake a leg.

Still calls you Herman, huh?

Look, you just started teaching. What did you quit for?

Because they put me in with a bunch of pea brains. That's why I showed them how

to put a carburetor in twice. They couldn't get it.

Simple stuff. I was 12. I saw it once. I got it like that.

And that's it?

No. They didn't bring me any fruit.

Fonzie. Yeah?

Did you ever hear of Rogers Hornsby?

No, but I know what curriculum is.

Well, Rogers Hornsby was one of the greatest baseball players who ever

hit .400 three times.

.400 what?

.400 was his batting average, you see, and after he retired as a player, he

became a manager of a team.

Taught the other players how to hit, you know?

But do you know what happened?

No, and the suspense is killing me.

Well, he couldn't teach, Fonzie. He didn't have the patience or the

understanding. You see, he expected all the players to be as great as he was.

Fonzie, teaching is a skill, an art.

You've got to arouse the curiosity and the willingness of the student to learn.

You know, a student's mind is like clay, and the teacher's supposed to be the

sculptor. What are you talking clay and sculpture? I went to school. They didn't

sculpt. They pounded. What did you do?

I dropped out. That's what I did.

Oh, because of the teacher. That's exactly right. What do you think, I'm

to sit around with boring things like that, have those people treat me like...

Oh, I know what you're doing, you sly fox.

Oh, that's good. No cigar, because nobody, and I'm telling you, nobody, is

dropping out of high school because of the fox.

Just out of curiosity, what happened to this Hornsby's?

Oh, he's in the Hall of Fame. Need I say more?

Huh? I mean, it's not my fault, is it?

Dune's gotta change, that's all.

That's great juice, Harmon.

Good morning, class.

Good morning, Mr.

Fonzarelli.

All right.

Looks like we both made the decision to be here together again.

The principal said it was too late to transfer.

Yeah, he said the same thing to me. That ball had a... We're just going to

pretend that it's a brand new day. Fresh start. Here we go. Everybody gets

another shot, okay?

Hey, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it.

Now, this morning, class, before we started, I took this carburetor off this

engine. We're all going to get another shot and put it back in, all right?

Will you get over here? Everybody over here. Come on. Come on.

Who's going to be first, huh?

Let's go, Mr. Transfer Slip. Here we go.

Look, we went through this stuff yesterday.

Hey, we're starting off fresh.

What's the difference? I didn't learn it yesterday. I'm not going to learn it

today.

Look, it's not your fault.

I ain't too swift in any of my classes.

All right, all right. The rest of you just kind of sit down there and use

yourselves, huh? Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Let's go.

I thought this...

Maybe this I'd be able to learn.

What's the difference?

A couple of months, I'll be old enough to drop out anyway.

Oh, you're going to drop out, huh?

And then what are you going to do?

Get a job. Where?

Somewhere. Doing what?

Something. Oh, you got this whole thing planned out, huh? You ain't going to get

no diploma. You're just going to go up to the guy and say, hey, give me a cushy

job. I fell asleep in my classes, huh?

Life don't work that way.

Doesn't work that way.

He agrees.

Hey, trust me, I ain't your father.

Yeah, right, right, right.

He said, I can't learn this stuff. I haven't got the smarts.

Don't you understand that your brain is clay and I gotta squeeze it?

What?

I don't think I meant to say that.

All right, all right.

All right, look.

I'm not going to explain this to you. See, I mean, it's my job to get it

through.

Your heads. All right, all right.

I was nine years old. I had a pal. His name was Joey. He was great. We were

that, right?

So he's got a confirmation.

He gave me an invitation. I had to go wear a tie. I didn't know how to, you

know, make a tie. So I called my uncle Squintio.

So he comes and he puts his big arms around me, puts that tie around both our

necks, and then he starts making the tie, you know?

With my hands and everything, he pulls up the knot real tight. He almost

strangles it to death, you know?

But I learned how to make the tie.

Yeah. That's how my father taught me.

That's how your father taught you.

Then come up here and let's tie a tie.

I will put your carburetor right on your studs. There you go. All right? We'll

get your hair finished.

There we go. Now, pick up your washer. Right? Pick up your washer right here.

Don't worry about it. Put it right on there. Pick up your nut.

All right. And we will tighten and tighten. Oh, you're doing great. See

Great. All right, all right, all right. What's next? What's next? Uh, pump rod.

No.

Throttle shaft? No.

Here, let me give you a little hint.

No, no, no hints. Just a little hint. Right over here.

Gaskets and connectors. I think you got it.

All right, all right. What's next? You go home.

No, no, no way. Not till I'm finished. I agree.

You just did.

I finished?

That's right.

You did it.

How about that?

I did it! What are you, nuts? Damn!

Where is everybody?

Oh, they left after the first four hours.

What difference does that make? You did it. You must feel terrific, huh?

I'll bet you do great in your other classes now, too, huh? Yeah, yeah, sure.

Well, what are the teachers going to say with me the whole day?

Hey, I'll have a fun to really chat with them. You have no idea how enthusiastic

they can get.

All right.

Oh, I got a date.

Hey, you mind if I split?

Of course I mind. We're going to do the breaks now.

Get out of here.

All right. Congrats.

Oh, hey, teach. Yeah?

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Patsy, what are you doing?

Gathering Fonzie's hair. Well, I know that, but why?

Do you know the value of this stuff? There is a crowd of girls out there.

could pay my way through college.

What kind of man profits from another man's beard?

Oh, boy. These hot dogs are selling like hotcakes.

Could you keep him in here a little longer?

I'm sorry he's finished.

Give him some hair.

For free? Yeah.

Me too.

Now, Arthur, would you turn around to the light?

Whoa, hello, cheeks.

I'd better go out there and calm the multitude.

Excuse them what?

All right, ladies.

This space is open for business.

Next

on

the Brady Bunch, Peter Scoop Brady publishes all the news that's not fit to

print and finally learns that yellow journalism, libel, and bribery are

It's episode number 69, Power.

of the press.

Stay tuned.