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1
00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:16,920
Happy and free.
2
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These days are ours.
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00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:21,700
Share them with me.
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00:00:22,420 --> 00:00:27,420
Goodbye gray sky, hello blue. There's
nothing can hold me when I hold you.
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00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:28,960
It's all right.
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00:00:29,050 --> 00:00:30,050
It can't be wrong.
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Rockin' and rollin' all we know.
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Monday, happy days. Wednesday, happy
days.
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Friday, happy days.
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Saturday, what a day.
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Proving I'll meet with you.
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These days are ours.
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How can I shave like this? The water's
so hot.
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I'm going to fix it.
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One more, please.
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Marry him.
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I've got a razor in my hand.
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Oh, forget it.
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You know, I am sick and tired of having
to shave down here in the living room
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while Joanie is up there holding the
bathroom hostage.
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She's a young lady now, dear. It takes
her time to put on her face.
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Lon Chaney didn't take this long to put
on his face.
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I hate shaving downstairs because I
always cut myself.
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Oh, gosh.
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Now I'm going to be late for work.
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Well, Potsy can take over while you're
away.
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Potsy, huh?
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You're talking about a guy who went out
and bought a rocking chair and then
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asked for an instruction booklet.
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Well, he's very good at it now.
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I wanted to be at the store when that
first shipment of silent toilets
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Oh, the whisper flush.
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I'm going to demonstrate him at the
hardware convention.
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It's going to be a big hit.
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Couldn't mean a lot of money for it.
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Oh, Howard, I don't need money to be
happy.
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Couldn't mean a trip to Sweden.
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Marion. Marion, I got a crazy idea.
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Oh, Jill, you're already late for work.
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Now, this is real wild.
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Now, just go along with me.
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What would you think if we added a
second bathroom?
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Right in the house?
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No, sweetheart, in the car.
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Of course in the house.
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Huh? I mean, the whole works. A shower,
a tub, lock on the door so I don't have
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to whistle while I'm in there.
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This is instead of the trip to Sweden,
isn't it?
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Oh, no, I couldn't do that to you.
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No, I guess having a second bathroom is
just a dream.
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It's not meant for people like us.
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Okay, Jody, your half hour is up.
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Get out of there this minute.
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But, Dad, I'm not finished doing my
hair.
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You want to bet?
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Oh, right.
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But I have to teach classics, period.
I'm going to look like Mahatma Gandhi to
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me.
59
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,880
Now, you listen to me, young lady. There
is such a thing in this world as
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00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,420
consideration. You know, when I was your
age... I know, Dad. You used to sell
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newspapers on the corner.
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00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:13,060
No, that's another story.
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00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:14,880
When I was... Marion!
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That settles it. I am calling a
contractor, and we are going to build a
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bathroom. Well, there goes Sweden. You
weren't going anyway.
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Well, thank you for your estimate.
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00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:34,270
And in all fairness, I think I should
tell you that this is the last time you
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will ever talk to me.
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Weren't you a little rough on him,
Howard? The man is a thief, Marion. He
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to charge more for the second bathroom
than I paid for the whole house.
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00:04:43,710 --> 00:04:48,570
Howard, that was 25 years ago. You could
get a suit for $16.
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00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:50,550
You still can if you know where to shop.
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00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:55,110
I don't want to talk about it now. We'll
discuss this when I get back from the
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convention.
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00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:58,410
Try to stay out of jail this time,
Howard.
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Marion, that was not my fault. Those
guys stole my clothes, and I had to get
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through the lobby.
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00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:10,280
Dad, I'm glad I caught you. You know
that bathroom you're going to build?
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00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:13,460
Oh, yeah, well, that's run into a bit of
a snag.
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00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:15,260
The minimum wage law.
81
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,580
Well, I found a guy that can beat any
price.
82
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Really? Mm -hmm. Well, if he's so cheap,
he can't be very good.
83
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Not very good.
84
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This is a master bathroom builder.
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You, Ponzi?
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Yeah. You, Howard, huh?
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All right, let's get serious. Let's talk
pictures here, Mr. Z.
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Well, Arthur, this is so good of you.
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Yeah.
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Who's that?
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Oh, ignore him. Don't worry about it.
So, you want a stall shower? You want a
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tub? You want a sink? You want a sink
and a stall shower? What do you want?
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you see person to person when they
visited Jane Mansfield?
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Who is that?
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Nah, don't be in your mind.
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I sure did. I saw that. I got the
bathroom just like that. You know, she
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everything pink. Everything was heart
-shaped.
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00:06:17,580 --> 00:06:19,660
Oh, and she had a heated tail bar.
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Oh.
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00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:22,920
Who are they?
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Mr. C, don't worry about it. They're
like bees.
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You don't hurt them, they don't hurt
you.
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Now, look, Fancy, I don't know about
this.
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Yeah, okay, so I'm going to level with
you now. I'm going to be a man. I'm
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to put it right out straight for you.
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Joanie?
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Dad, Fonzie has a wonderful idea for a
work -study program for the kids of Pat
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and I.
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It's called the L .O .D .P.
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The L .O .D .P.? Yeah, Learn or Die
Program.
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And our bathroom is going to be their
semester project.
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Neat, huh? The kids from Pat and I?
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Yeah. Oh, I don't think they can build a
bathroom. Oh, Mr. C., let us not
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underestimate these kids, you
understand? They have made a machine gun
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blender. Yeah.
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Mr. C., look.
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You're going to help them locate their
self -confidence. Can you dig it? You're
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going to help them locate their self
-esteem. Yeah. Well, I appreciate the
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offer, Fonzie, but I don't think it's
going to work. Well, then, of course, it
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doesn't cost you a dime. On the other
hand, self -esteem is very important.
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I'm getting down here. We're going to
thank you. This is a wonderful thing
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you're doing, huh? Mr.
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C, God bless you.
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Everybody, down here, down here. Let's
go.
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Thank Mr. C. Do it.
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Yeah, uh, look, kids, I just want to...
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That's my suit.
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00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:43,500
Fancy, I don't think this is gonna work.
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Don't you understand that one bad egg is
gonna ruin the entire barrel of apples?
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Will you talk to the man?
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Mr. Cunningham, I wasn't stealing.
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It's just that I never had a real man
suit on before, and I wanted to see what
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it felt like.
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00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:01,980
Oh, Dad.
135
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:11,030
When I was confirmed, My parents bought
me a suit for $14. Where?
136
00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:20,390
I don't want to ruin it for the others,
so I'll just take the suit off and go
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home. Oh, hi, Dad.
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All right, now look, Fonzie, you'll keep
an eye on all of them, huh? Think of me
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as a mother eagle watching her cubs.
Okay,
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I'm going to trust you now. All right, I
got to go. I got to catch a plane.
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Excuse me.
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All right. Hey, what are you, wax fruit?
Get up there. Let's work. Let's work.
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Bye,
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sweetheart. Goodbye, dear. Bye, Johnny.
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$14, huh?
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I wonder if I pass that store on the way
to the airport.
147
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Goodbye, dear.
148
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Bye, Danny.
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but the plane wouldn't leave the gate
until I took it off.
150
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Oh, well, my darling, how was the
convention?
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Oh, it was terrific, sweetheart.
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I ran into this guy, Dwight Mesmer, and
he's thinking of placing an order for
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487 Whisper Flush toilets. Oh, he must
have a big family.
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He owns a hotel, Marion.
155
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Well, I should think he would with a
family that size.
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00:10:00,860 --> 00:10:05,270
I may be in for a big order when he
comes to dinner next week. You see, I...
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want them to hear the sweet silence of
the whisper flush in person.
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00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:18,070
Marion, don't tell me those kids from
Patton High haven't finished the
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00:10:18,070 --> 00:10:22,270
yet. Well, Howard, it isn't even a week
yet, dear. Yeah, but the contractor
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would have done it by now.
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00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:26,930
Oh, dear, if you're going up, why don't
you take this up to the kids?
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Marion, there's meat on these
sandwiches.
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No, yes, dear, it makes it taste better.
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You say that you've been making them
sandwiches all week?
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Don't be ridiculous, Howard. Yesterday I
took them to a restaurant.
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But don't you understand?
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Mesmer is coming.
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He's got to see the whisper flush in a
finished bathroom.
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Marion, when you're selling toilets,
atmosphere is everything.
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00:10:55,750 --> 00:11:00,290
Hey, that's very good. That's very good.
Thanks, Fonz. Sure, now turn it on.
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00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:11,470
Fonzie, this place is a mess.
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00:11:11,690 --> 00:11:14,210
You want to make lemonade, you got to
bust up some lemons.
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00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:19,610
But you don't understand. This
bathroom's got to be finished by next
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00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:24,890
There's no problem there, Mr. C. We can
do it by a Wednesday. I didn't say a
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00:11:24,890 --> 00:11:27,750
Wednesday. I said a next Wednesday.
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I have an important customer coming here
to examine the Whisper Flush.
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00:11:32,780 --> 00:11:34,180
Now, I don't think you understood.
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This is a semester project.
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These kids are going to take all
semester.
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00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:43,500
Hey, yo, Pops, could you hold this up
for me? Right here. Look, Fonzie, if you
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don't finish the job by the end of the
week, I got to get somebody else.
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00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,920
Wait a minute. You told me for money for
a business proposition, you're going to
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sell out my kids. You got it.
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00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:53,120
Excuse me.
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00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:58,120
I have gone about as far as I can with
you on this, Fonzie.
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You guys are fired.
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00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:12,790
Uh, hold it, Mr. C. You cannot fire
that. This is schoolwork.
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00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:17,470
Excuse me. You're expelled. Now get out
of my house. All right, everybody wait
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00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,210
for me in the hallway. Let's go. Come
on, Lee.
190
00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:26,330
Mr. C., you cannot do this to me. Don't
you understand? If we do this, these
191
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,730
kids won't trust anybody anymore.
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00:12:27,970 --> 00:12:32,430
Oh, talking about trust, Fonzie, when
you asked me for this job, you didn't
193
00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:35,510
anything about taking all semester to do
it. Au contraire.
194
00:12:35,890 --> 00:12:38,090
As a matter of fact, Joanie said...
195
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:39,640
It's going to take a semester.
196
00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:43,840
And when you heard the word cheat, you
didn't care if canaries did this.
197
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:48,540
I am not going to stand here and let you
call me cheat. All right, where do you
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00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:49,540
want to go?
199
00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:54,140
Fonzie, there's an old saying.
200
00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:56,820
Friends should never do business
together.
201
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:59,220
Well, that's great, because right now we
are neither.
202
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:07,200
Howard, what did you say to Arthur and
the boys to make them so mad?
203
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,700
One of them mooned me on the way out.
204
00:13:18,820 --> 00:13:20,180
I fired them, Marion.
205
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,940
Well, how are we going to get the
bathroom finished?
206
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,040
I'm going to do it myself.
207
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,600
Yourself?
208
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,760
You're gonna turn this bathroom into a
real show place here. Yeah. How you
209
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:40,760
doing, Johnny?
210
00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:43,640
She still looks great.
211
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:49,260
Did you come over here to ogle my
daughter, or have you got something else
212
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:50,940
mind? You mean I get a choice? No.
213
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,600
Well, in that case, I got something on
my mind.
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00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:57,600
Mr. Cunningham finds he's really down.
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00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:01,200
You know, he says you're his second
father to turn his back on him.
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00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:03,940
Oh, boy, give me a break, huh?
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00:14:04,650 --> 00:14:08,490
Look, tell Fonzie I'll be glad to make
up with him. I'm big enough to accept
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00:14:08,490 --> 00:14:10,690
apology. Look at Fonzie's words exactly.
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00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:13,810
He seems to see you guys think alike.
You belong together.
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00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:16,030
Just like Liz and Dick.
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00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,730
Like Simon and Schuster.
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00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:24,890
Like Rocky and Bullwinkle. Now, I happen
to have a very important client
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00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:28,370
coming here, and this bathroom has got
to be finished by tomorrow night.
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00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:32,270
Not that I don't appreciate your coming
over here to irritate me. Anytime.
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00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:37,920
No, no, I'd say you did a pretty good
job here. Oh, thank you. My head is
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00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:38,920
spinning with praise.
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00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:41,960
I can't figure out how to still her
open.
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00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,080
Huh.
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00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:50,600
It doubles as a desk, right?
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00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:54,720
I'll fix it.
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00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:55,980
Hey, is that the whisper flush?
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Water is boiling.
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00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:04,360
I bet you can make spaghetti in this
thing.
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00:15:06,020 --> 00:15:08,800
Look, you build your bathroom your way
and I'll do it mine.
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00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,940
Mr. Cunningham, you're in big trouble
here. Can I give you some advice,
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00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,600
Can you call a contractor?
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00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,120
Call a plumber.
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00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:18,560
I got an idea. Call Fonzie.
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00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,240
I got a better idea.
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00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:20,959
What's that?
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00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,880
Why don't half the people who are here
now be here now?
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00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,320
I guess you'll have to go back to
whistling again.
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00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:44,660
Now the water's off in the other
bathroom.
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00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:49,120
I can fix it, Marie. Well, Fonzie can
fix it, darling. Fonzie can fix it.
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00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,560
can fix it. Can Fonzie do this?
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00:16:09,290 --> 00:16:11,970
Mr. Mesmer, I've been upstairs for a
long time. I hope everything's okay.
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00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:15,850
Oh, everything's all right. You know, I
really have to hand it to your father.
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00:16:15,910 --> 00:16:19,470
The bathroom looks great. It does. And
it was finished just in time.
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00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:24,350
It's so exciting having two baths. Makes
me feel Japanese.
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00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:28,670
How about that, huh, Mr. Mesmer?
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00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,590
Didn't I tell you that that whisper
flush was quiet?
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00:16:32,410 --> 00:16:35,790
Cunningham, I have to admit, even with
my head in the bowl, I couldn't hear a
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00:16:35,790 --> 00:16:36,790
thing.
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00:16:37,810 --> 00:16:38,870
My hair dry yet?
255
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,280
Well, everybody sit down. Dinner's
ready.
256
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:47,280
I hope you like this. This recipe has
been in our family for generations.
257
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,020
Oh, I was hoping for something fresh.
258
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:57,240
How about that? He's got 500 rooms in a
hotel in a sense he over.
259
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:15,200
All right, so, uh, this is the toaster
you want me to fix, huh?
260
00:17:16,020 --> 00:17:19,180
I thought this was Lodge Night. I didn't
know you were going to be here. I
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00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:20,740
thought you were going to growl at
somebody.
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00:17:21,859 --> 00:17:25,200
I'm entertaining a business associate,
Fonzie. This is Mr.
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00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:26,358
Mesmer, Mr.
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00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,760
Fonzarello. Oh, don't get up, don't get
up. I'm just a tenant here.
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00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,040
Boy, you lucky, huh? This woman spreads
out a great table.
266
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:35,680
Used to be my seat.
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00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,320
I'm only going to fix your side.
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00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:48,380
I was saying, Mr. Mesmer, I'm sure that
you're going to find that the Whisper
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00:17:48,380 --> 00:17:52,360
Flush is quiet, efficient... Cutting
him, cutting him, please. Cut the sales
270
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:53,360
pitch. I'm sold.
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00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:58,700
Oh, it worked great. I just happened to
have the contract right here.
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00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:03,500
And I'll tell you something, Mr. Mesmer.
You can certainly expect prompt
273
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:08,440
delivery. You see, when you buy a toilet
from Cunningham Hardware, you're not
274
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:14,820
only... You're not only getting the
toilet, but you're getting the man
275
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:16,060
behind the toilet.
276
00:18:18,620 --> 00:18:22,680
Cunningham, what's going on here? Oh,
it's probably nothing. You see, this is
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00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,240
old house. It's just the humidity.
278
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,300
Now, if you'll just sign right here.
279
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:55,260
And if you would be kind enough to
initial right... Cunningham.
280
00:18:57,420 --> 00:19:03,200
Your whisper flush should make a noise
so that some people can get a warning.
281
00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:06,340
Don't do that!
282
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,760
Oh, and Cunningham, another thing.
283
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,940
Don't even think about staying in one of
my hotels.
284
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,160
I can fix it, Marion.
285
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,100
Hey, Mr. C.
286
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:45,720
You wanted to... This won't take long. I
just need
287
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:46,720
to talk to you.
288
00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:51,440
Oh, uh... I don't want to be picky or
anything, but your medicine cabinet's
289
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,440
crooked.
290
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:58,200
Howard wanted me to ask you if you could
get your students back to fix our
291
00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,200
bathroom.
292
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,520
What is he, a ventriloquist?
293
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,940
I'd love to see his lips move.
294
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,080
Oh.
295
00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:16,520
Fonzie, if you ask the students to come
back and finish the bathroom, I'll...
296
00:20:17,230 --> 00:20:18,910
Spit it out. I'll pay him.
297
00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:22,590
You will pay them?
298
00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:28,630
All right, all right. I know I have a
reputation for being a little frugal,
299
00:20:28,630 --> 00:20:32,350
you've got to understand that people my
age, they grew up in the Great
300
00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:34,710
Depression, and times were tough.
301
00:20:35,210 --> 00:20:39,390
Guys would sell apples on street
corners, and okay, I'm cheap.
302
00:20:42,410 --> 00:20:46,450
I want to tell you something. It takes a
very big man to admit that, Mr. C.
303
00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:51,350
I'm sorry, Fonzie. I should never have
put business above friendship. I let
304
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:52,350
those kids down.
305
00:20:52,670 --> 00:20:55,350
No, it wasn't, you know, just your
fault.
306
00:20:56,090 --> 00:21:02,830
I should apologize, you know, for, um...
Well, for, um...
307
00:21:02,830 --> 00:21:07,650
Yeah, I think this one is your fault.
308
00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:16,490
Yeah, well, I guess I let... My
frugality got out of hand, but, uh...
309
00:21:16,890 --> 00:21:17,890
I'm going to change.
310
00:21:18,330 --> 00:21:19,770
Does that mean we can get a dishwasher?
311
00:21:20,270 --> 00:21:22,970
No, but it means you can start using hot
water, ma 'am. Oh, how.
312
00:21:25,130 --> 00:21:26,130
A shortcake.
313
00:21:27,050 --> 00:21:28,050
Oh, hey.
314
00:21:34,050 --> 00:21:38,070
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315
00:21:38,390 --> 00:21:42,530
Jack Bauer, that is. Keeper Sutherland
stars in the critically acclaimed 24
316
00:21:42,530 --> 00:21:47,990
every Sunday at 8 Eastern on
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317
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minute.
25100
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