Original subtitles

(MALE VO, QUIETLY) 'Aeons' is about...

..first love.

But it's also a meditation on...

..queer culture, it's about Ireland,

it's about our past and our present. It's about...

(FRUSTRATED SIGH)

(WHISPERING) Fuck off, that's fucking shit.

(QUIETLY) I wanted to write about first love.

I wanted to... write about something that young readers

could connect with in a way that was familiar

and raw and heartfelt that would...

..validate their feel-ings.

(WHISPERING) That's awful. Don't do that. Um...

It's about-- The book is about...

I think the book is about...

(LUNCH LADY #1 ON MOBILE PHONE) We hope you're keeping well, Alma.

We're gettin' all these sausage rolls ready for this lot.

It takes us a bit longer without you here crackin' the whip.

(LUNCH LADY #2) The lads are always askin' after you,

"And where is Alma's bolognese?" That's all we hear every day.

(LUNCH LADY #1) Murders there has been here some of the days.

(LUNCH LADY #2) I lit a candle for you last week up in St. Anthony's.

...power and...

..social structure and...

-(BELL RINGING) -(SHOUTING) I'm coming!

(QUIETLY) ..social structure, and within the subtext of the story

we're also exploring issues of post-colonial conflict in Ireland...

-(BELL RINGING) -..the legacy of the Catholic Church

and the growth of a queer culture within a regressive society.

-(SHOUTING) Okay, okay! -(PERSISTENT BELL RINGING)

Alright, alright!

Oh Jesus Christ, I'm gonna throw that bell away!

-(ORGAN MUSIC INTRO) -I heard you the first time.

Good morning. (CHUCKLING) What?

Oh my God, the face.

-Okay. -(UPBEAT MUSIC)

(SOUTHERN ACCENT) I dunno, we got a lovely lilac number,

some peachy peach or the most gorgeous hue of aquamarine you ever have seen.

If this is not to your satisfaction

we could, I dunno, go Miss Scarlet and take a sewing machine to this curtain?

The blue. Of course, it's the blue. Yeah. Boring.

(SOFTLY) Alright, here we go. Ready? One, two, three.

Just give it a minute. Patience, patience. Okay.

(ALMA HUFFS)

(SOFTLY) That's much better.

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)

-(ALMA, VOICE ASSIST) Good morning Edward. -Oh my God. She speaks.

Finally!

-Welcome to the Land of the living. -(MUSIC ENDS)

(AMERICAN RADIO ADS PLAYING)

(AMERICAN RADIO PRODUCER) Thirty seconds Edward.

(RADIO ADS CONTINUE)

(ALMA) Be confident.

Mam.

(SIGHS UNEASILY)

Mam, stop looking at me.

(AMERICAN RADIO HOST) Our next guest is the Irish novelist, Edward Brady,

-whose debut novel 'Aeons'... -What?

-..explores a complex friendship... -Toilet.

..and gay relationship between two young men.

Sorry.

Edward, thanks for being here.

(GASPS) Thanks for having me.

Great. So, your novel was first published in 2018 in Ireland and the UK, I believe,

but it's only now being picked up internationally.

-(DOOR OPENING) -And all because of a sudden surge

in young readers who discovered the novel through TikTok.

Yeah, I know it's crazy, but that's how it happened.

It's a beautiful read, Edward, I have to say.

-(KNOCKING) -Now, tell us about Cian

and where we find him at the start of the story.

(CLEARS THROAT) Um, he's sort of an awkward

unformed teenager when we meet him.

He's trapped in a small Irish town struggling with his identity.

And then he meets a sorta mercurial English boy

and we follow the relationship over the next 10 years.

So it's a love story about these two young gay men.

But it's also an out-of-love story. Then there's things thematically, uh...

(ALMA) Slow down, Edward.

Hello?

(ALMA) They will not be able to understand. You talk fast.

(UPBEAT MUSIC FADES IN)

(ALMA) Please try and be slower.

They are American and your accent will confuse them.

Edward, are you still with us?

(MUSIC BUILDS)

(ALMA) Edward, if you were going any slower, we would go back in time.

(EDWARD) Please don't start.

Mam! Why do you keep pointing at every turn?

I know where we're going, okay? I've been driving you there for a year.

What? We're not going to be late.

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)

(SERMON DRONING ON)

(MUSIC FADES GRADUALLY)

The physio says if she doesn't start gettin' some exercise,

she'll be in a chair in six months.

She won't fuckin' listen. Talkin' to the wall you do be.

All she wants to do is smoke fags and watch telly.

-She has me flat destroyed. -(SACRISTY BELLS CHIME)

I had the guards over with me on Tuesday.

Why?

'Cause my mum keeps turning up at wakes for people she doesn't even know.

One of the families reported her to the guards.

They thought she was in robbing the dead man's watch.

What was she doing?

Trying to put fuckin' rosary beads into the casket.

-(CHUCKLING) Why? -I dunno!

She thinks she's doin' the Lord's work, I suppose.

-(SACRISTY BELLS CHIME) -(WHISPERING A PRAYER)

Ohmygod, there's Simon.

I thought his Ma passed.

She did. I think it got rough at the end.

Jesus Christ, he looks wrecked.

(SOFTLY) Hi!

I can't end up looking like tha'.

Certainly not with all that's been spent on Botox.

Don't be tellin' people me business.

Uh, chicken, he's not blind.

-Gorge. -Is it?

Years younger.

-Thanks, Edward. -I still think you're a lip filler away

from ending up like Mickey Rourke in 'The Wrestler'.

Will you stop being such a cunty fuck, please?

-I'm not! -You are! What's wrong with ya?

Uh, this?!

I can't take it anymore.

(MOBILE PHONE PINGS)

(SIGHS) It's the guys in Maspalomas.

(ON PHONE) Hola, chicas!

Just sending you a message to say, "Hi" to you and les madres.

Say hi to the boys!

(ALL) Hi! We miss you!

We wish you were here

and we'll see you all really, really soon. Sláinte!

(GENTLE MUSIC)

That used to be us.

(SERMON DRONING ON)

-You ready, two wheels? -(ALMA CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

(EDWARD SQUEALS, TIRE-LIKE)

(GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES)

That okay?

(MUSIC ENDS)

The publishers are talking about doing this...

..big release for the book in America.

I know, they think the reviews are gonna be good

and that it has a shot.

They've asked me to go over there for a book tour.

Are you going to do it?

(SIGHS)

-What?! How can I? -Okay...

What-- Who am I supposed to leave Mam with for two weeks?

I mean, I can think of a number of people. And two weeks is nothing!

It's not nothing for an 81-year-old woman recovering from a stroke.

-I can't just dump her with anyone-- -Well, you could--

And don't say residential care!

Fine. I'm not going to argue with you about that again.

-Good. -Look Edward, I know how difficult it is

to be in a co-dependent relationship with a demanding woman.

When I think about my situation with Audrey and--

Oh my God. Oh my God. Are you actually going to try and segueway into that again?

It's not the same thing. I came out when I was 17.

I am simply trying to draw a parallel between you,

avoiding your destiny as an artist, and me,

avoiding my destiny as an out gay man.

Oh, God.

(SHARP EXHALE) Alright! No need to be so dramatic.

Can we just focus on me today?

-Of course. -Thank you.

It's unprofessional.

Even though you haven't paid me in five years.

(WOMAN #1 ON RADIO) I'm also interested at the moment in writing about, um,

Ireland's Generation X and the Generation X Imaginary.

(WOMAN #2 ON RADIO) And also, this around the time, I suppose,

of Bad Day at Blackrock being written...

(SOFT MUSIC)

(DOG BARKING)

(RADIO CHEF TALKING, INDISTINCT)

(SOFT MUSIC CONTINUES)

(COLM ON ZOOM) I don't know. Like a ringin' in me ears.

(BILLY ON ZOOM) It's probably stress headaches. Edward gets them, don't ya?

-(BILLY) Hello? -(COLM) He's not listening to you.

(BILLY) Too busy staring at Raf for the last 20 minutes.

(COLM) Here, I need Netflix recommendations for Jean.

(BILLY) Um, has she seen 'Unorthodox'?

She only likes stuff with LOADS of killin' in it.

-Uh, 'Dexter'? -She's seen it.

-'Love/Hate'? -Seen it.

-Has she seen 'Kin'? -Yeah.

-(BILLY) 'Gangs of London'? -(COLM) Jesus! Sorry I asked.

-What the fuck's wrong with you? -I'm just overwhelmed like... sorry.

You need to start standing up for yourself. Doesn't he?

It gets easier.

(BOTH) When?

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Okay. I'm ending this conversation now.

(BILLY) See ya.

(COLM) Wait, I didn't get to tell yous about me Grindr chat--

(ZOOM ENDING TONE)

(EDWARD SIGHS)

(TALK RADIO CHATTERS FAINTLY)

(SNORING SOFTLY)

(GENTLY) Wake up.

(RAF) She's ready for bed.

(EDWARD) Thanks.

When are the reviews coming?

Dunno. Dunno, tomorrow maybe.

-Exciting. -(GROANS SOFTLY)

You'll be grand.

-So, how's things with you? -Good.

We found an apartment in Oberkampf, that we can afford.

-Wow. That's great. -I know.

How's Richard, is he excited?

Ridiculously excited.

Sometimes he's so exhausting, you know.

Always wants to be doing things.

Hiking, walking...

(SOFTLY) Oh, I hate that.

I'm like, chicken, I just got in from work.

All I want to do is go to bed and watch Netflix.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Oh my God, was I always like this?

Like what?

Quiet. Dull.

Well, you certainly weren't quiet when I first met you.

You were pretty insufferable, if memory serves.

-Was I? -Edward!

You fucking loved the sound of your own voice.

Hmm...

See you later.

Bye.

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

(STACEY ON PHONE) Oh my God, you're driving me crazy.

Edward, it's my job to know how to handle these things.

I mean, they're disappointed.

You're the writer and they want you out there,

but they understand your situation with Alma.

Did they say what any of the events were?

Are you sure you want to know?

Go on, I know you're dying to tell me.

Okay, well I can't remember all of them,

but I know there was talk of John Green

hosting a Q&A with you at Powell's in Portland.

-(SOFTLY) Fuck off. -Um-hmm. You asked.

Okay, I'm going to forward the Times review to you as soon as it lands.

Just remember whichever way it goes,

it is a hit with the people that you wrote it for.

Alright. Night-night.

Night.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

(BIRDSONG)

(EDWARD) Now look at that! That's an improvement.

I think we found my vocation.

Look at these skills.

You know, I was thinkin' that...

..might be quite nice to go and see Andrew and the girls in London, wouldn't it?

I mean, you haven't seen them for ages.

The girls are getting big. They'd love to see you.

So, I was thinking that I could take you over there...

..and you could stay with them for a few weeks.

(ALMA) It's too hard.

It's not too hard, Mam. Andrew can manage.

Okay, I'll show him exactly how you like everything done

and we can go through everything with him before we get--

Too much for him with the new baby.

Why don't you come and stay, too?

We could have a nice holiday there.

Well it's not really a holiday for me, is it?

Why?

Because-- Well okay, because what if I want to go and meet a nice man?

Hmm? Can't do that with all yous around, can I?

Fuckin'... destined to be single forever.

You can meet a nice man on your phone anytime.

Oh, I can meet a nice man on my phone anytime...

Right. And where would I bring him?

Will I bring him here? What, to meet you? Okay.

Well, that's not gonna work.

You'd probably scare him away with your beady eyes.

(EDWARD) Okay...

One, two, three.

(VACUUM HUMMING, THUDDING WALLS)

(TV CHEF RAMBLING FAINTLY)

(INCOMING MESSAGE PINGS)

(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)

(QUIET AMBIENT MUSIC)

(INNER VOICE, READING) We begin with a vivid description

of a 17-year-old Cian's debilitating social anxiety...

His prose are beautifully old-fashioned and acerbic...

He manages to evoke the spirit of Faulkner...

With 'Aeons', Mr. Brady is speaking to young people

about something deeply personal and real

and I can see why young readers are devoted to it.

(QUIET AMBIENT MUSIC)

(ON TELLY) ...They'll call you and say,

"Oh, Joan, are they yours down below there with black and white stripes..."

(DOOR OPENING)

(KATIE) Edward? Hi, Katie.

You wanna follow me?

You wanna talk about your mum, Alma?

Yeah, so it'd only be for a really short-term stay.

It'd be like two weeks, at most.

-Of course, of course. -Um...

I'm sure you wanna be at home with her yourself but you have to live, too.

Look, why don't you start a conversation with Mum,

and we'll see where we go from there?

(FOOTSTEPS ECHO DOWN THE CORRIDOR)

(KATIE) Are you okay?

Edward?

Yeah, um...

So, if I were to-- I'm so sorry.

I just feel like I can't breathe or something.

Okay, well just take it nice and easy.

-I feel a bit dizzy or something. -Maybe have a seat?

-Yes, if I could have a seat. -Can I get some assistance

in the long corridor, please? Maybe a glass of water, as well?

I actually feel kinda faint and sitting is bad, feels like... (EXHALES UNEASILY)

Maybe... Edward, maybe?

(HISTORY PROGRAM ON RADIO)

(PHONE RINGS)

Hmm. I have to get this. Hey, Siri, STOP. Edward!

I told the publishers I'd do the book tour.

Now I'm parked outside Hamilton Lodge

and I just had a full-on panic attack in front of the manager.

I don't think I can do this.

Just stay on course.

Well, you should see this place!

-It's cold, it's sterile... -Your cholesterol!

..everything smells of bleach. It's hideous!

You've been looking after other people for five years.

First your father, and now Alma.

Repeat after me: I'm going to stop

taking care of other people,

and start taking care of myself.

I'm gonna stop taking care of other people, and start taking care of myself.

Good! Now, go home and have the talk with Alma.

Goodbye!

What is wrong with you?!

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

(INNER VOICE) Mam, please.

It's only a short-term stay for a couple of weeks.

I promise when it's finished, we'll go on a long holiday together.

Maybe we can visit Andrew and the kids in London,

or hire a car and go driving down the south of France.

You're always saying you wanted to do that.

Well, now we can!

Open top. Wind in our hair.

Just me and you.

(EDWARD) Hey, Mam.

I got the sourdough. And I got the Brie that you like, and...

I got some really exciting news.

Listen, there's a couple of things we have to talk about first

but I don't want you to freak out--

(WOMEN'S TALK SHOW PLAYING FAINTLY)

(CLOCK TICKING)

Hello.

(PHONE PINGS)

(AIRPLANE TAKING OFF)

(SOFT MUSIC)

(VOICE MESSAGE) Hi, Edward. It's Colm.

And Billy.

(COLM) We've hit rock bottom, pal.

There's no easy way to say this, so we're just gonna say it.

We've decided to run away to Maspaloma's Pride for three days

and leave our mams with you.

We know what we're doin' is abominable.

But we just can't cope anymore.

Sure, on the outside, we always look like we have it together.

But on the inside, we're a mess.

It's the monotony, Edward.

If we don't get away, honestly?

We might die.

All we're asking for is three nights.

Just get them a bed and keep them fed and watered.

That's it.

We know we're the worst.

We hope you can forgive us.

(WHISPERING) Sorry.

(EDWARD) This is the universe taking a shit on me

because I was about to do something really selfish.

This is your friends taking a shit on you because you're an obligor.

Huh... Just put your foot down and say no.

They're already on a plane to Gran Canaria! I mean, who does that?!

Who abandons their mothers to go to fucking Maspaloma's Pride, of all things?

You know, it's my old fault for staying friends with them.

They let me down all the time and I just keep letting it go,

and thinking it's a one-off.

I don't know why I seem to want to keep making the same mistake with people

and expecting a different outcome.

It's the fucking definition of madness...

(ON COMPUTER) From all over the world, we travel to be one...

Hello?

Uh... nothing's changed, Edward.

Just stay focused on talking to Alma and preparing for the book tour.

I dunno, I think the book tour's a bad idea now.

Stop. Focus.

This is your future! Bye.

(ON COMPUTER) To find adventure.

To find... pride.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

Come and join the adventure.

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

This could only happen to you.

Thanks.

Look, I can be here all day tomorrow.

C'mon, it's your day off. What about Richard?

He won't mind. You can pay me double.

Okay... I'm outta here.

And call me if you need anything.

-Okay, okay, bye! -(DOOR OPENS)

(QUIETLY) Talk to you tomorrow.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(TELLY TALK SHOW) So, the trick is, as well...

(MOTORISED RECLINER BUZZING)

...if you have a shorter frame, go for less fabric and a more fitted...

Hi, ladies. (CLEARS THROAT) So, I got you...

-(TELLY GOES SILENT) -So, I'm Edward.

And this is my mum, Alma, that you know from mass.

Here. It's only small.

My son rushed me out of the shop before I could find anything.

Oh, it's a lasagne. That's very kind.

There's a cheesecake in there, as well.

Maybe we could have cheesecake with our tea.

-I fast on a Wednesday. -Oh.

(ALMA, VOICE ASSIST) It's too much. They have to go.

No... We're just gonna have some tea

-and then we can all just-- -(KNOCKING)

Hey!

(DERMOT) Look how cozy, everyone just sitting about. Hi!

(WOMAN) Where are we?

-(TALK SHOW DRONES ON) -(RECLINER BUZZING)

(EDWARD QUIETLY) There's nothing wrong with your mother.

(DERMOT) There's nothing wrong with them either!

(EDWARD) One has mobility problems, the other suffers with her nerves.

-(DERMOT) Rosey suffers with her nerves! -No.

Please, Edward! You've already got three, one more's not going to make a diff--

Shh, shh! They're listening to us.

They're listening to us. Let's just go into the kitchen.

Ten minutes ago, you were calling me an obligor!

-I know. -I'm saying no, sorry.

-(WHISPERING) Please, Edward. -No!

I'm a 53-year-old gay man with an ex-wife and a family who despise me.

I'm living with my mother!

The only time I get messages on Grindr

is if I use a naked picture of my torso with the username Daddy

spelled D-A-D-D-I.

You're looking in all the wrong places.

If I go on a date, I spend the whole time looking over my shoulder

terrified that somebody from my old life is going to see me.

This is a chance for me to meet other men like me.

Dermot, you are not going to meet men like you at Maspaloma's Pride.

-Trust me. -Please, Edward!

I need this.

-(LIGHT MUSIC) -Don't worry, it pops right open.

All her clothes are in this rollaway.

I put her iPad in there too, 'cause she's never off the bloody thing.

All her meals are in the Tupperware. No dairy, no gluten, no red meat.

(TO ROSEY) Excuse me. Can I get that back please?

All the medication's written down. It's pretty straightforward.

And that's just about everything.

Oh, she might fight you on the food, but if she does, hold firm.

And, you know, don't worry.

She's an absolute dote. You're gonna love her!

(SLAMS DOOR) Okay. Go, go, go!

(CAR ZOOMS AWAY)

(LIGHT MUSIC ENDS)

(DOG BARKING)

-(ALMA, VOICE ASSIST) Edward. -(SIGHS)

-(WHIMSICAL MUSIC) -(ALMA) Edward.

-(BELL RINGING) -(ALMA) Edward.

-(BELL RINGING) -(ALMA) Edward.

-(DOORS OPENING AND CLOSING) -(FOOTSTEPS IN HALLWAY)

(ALMA) Edward, I need you please.

(EDWARD) Okay. Blankets, blankets.

-Thank you. -Now...

(BANGING THE PHONE)

(WHISPERING) Mam, you have got to stop!

I want my pillows.

Well, they need pillows, too.

Mam, we take those off your bed every night and stack them on that chair.

Is the man putting sheets on my bed?

Just give me one second, Maude. Okay?

My son has abandoned me with strangers.

Everything okay in here, Jean?

That mattress is very hard.

I can swap you with Maude - the mattress is much softer in the spare room.

...apparently, I need minding now.

He says he's worried about my vertigo--

-(MALE VOICE CHATTERING ON iPAD) -(ROSEY) Well, I don't know...

Is it clean?

It-- Yes. Yes, it's clean.

Hmm. You're alright. I'll stay where I am.

...I have no idea who they are.

All I know is we're crammed into his little house like sardines...

(ALMA) Edward, you are being a doormat.

-You've no wife, Edward? -Uh, no.

Sure, I play for the same team as your Billy.

(QUIETLY) Oh...

Can I get a sup of water in that?

-(EDWARD) Yeah, of course. -(ALMA) Edward Brady.

Just give me one minute, Mam. Please.

Oh, yeah, water, water. Um...

(ROSEY YELPS)

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

(BELL RINGS LOUDER)

Can I get you your water in a couple of minutes? Do you need blankets, or...

-(ALMA) Edward, I need you please. -Your poor mam.

Yeah...

-Actually, can I take that pillow back? -No.

Excuse me. Say hello to Amir.

-Hi, Edward. -Hello. Hello, Amir.

-(ALMA) Edward! -That's it. I'm going now, my love.

My son told me you're a novelist.

I downloaded your next book onto my Kindle - I'm about to start it.

-Oh, I hope you like it. -(ALMA) Edward!

Hey, Siri! Play 'Aeons' by Edward Brady.

(ALMA) Edward!

(SIRI) Playing 'Aeons' by Edward Brady.

(EDWARD ON iPAD, READING) Cian castigated himself silently.

He took giant slugs of the poisonous blue alcopop he held onto for dear life.

You were never cool. Not like these kids, not really...

(BELL RINGING FURIOUSLY)

(ALMA) I want my pillows.

I'm just gonna take that pillow back.

I'll be back in two seconds, okay? Thank you, Maude.

Mam, that is absolutely outrageous.

(SIGHS) Look, we're gonna have to make this work, okay?

Mam. Mam!

Can I get my water, please?

(EXASPERATED SIGH)

I'm gonna have to bring a sleeping bag in here.

Is that okay?

Well, where am I gonna sleep?

(THUNDER CRASHING)

(RAIN PELTING)

(DOG BARKING)

(RADIO PRODUCER ON PHONE) Uh, standing by Edward...

(RADIO HOST) Joining me all the way from Ireland

is YA novelist, Edward Brady, here to talk about his new book, 'Aeons',

releasing here in the States, already out in Ireland.

Thank you so much for joining us. How're you doin'?

Oh, thanks for having me.

Um, I'm in a car. I'm sorry, I'm in a car!

It's a-- It's a long story.

(AWKWARD CHUCKLE) You know what? That's all good.

So let's talk about 'Aeons'.

It's a love story about two young men--

Yeah, that's right and it charts their relationship over the next 10 years.

You know, the sort of highs and lows, and um...

(STAMMERING) It's, you know...

It is a love story, but it's also not a love story.

It's an out-of-love story. (NERVOUS LAUGH)

I don't know if that makes sense, but it's--

-Because so much of the story-- -I think the characters, they...

-Sorry? -No, go ahead, go ahead.

Uh...

Yeah, they got--

I think, you know, it's more than a love story.

It's about social structure.

And identity and, you know, just what it must be like

to be trapped inside a...

..depressed country, you know, that was once colonised.

(UNCONVINCED) Okay, well, that's great.

Edward Brady, thanks so much for joining us on the show.

Listen, thank you so much for having me. Thank--

Stay tuned for a quick word from our sponsor...

-Bye-bye. -(PHONE BLEEPS OFF)

(WIND HOWLS)

(NOISY ROAD CONSTRUCTION)

(PHONE RINGING)

(WOMAN ON PHONE) Good morning, St. Paul's Orthopaedic.

(EDWARD) Hi, can I speak to Rafael Dumont, please? He's our physio.

Raf, hey! Help, you've gotta help me.

They've all got appointments this morning and I've got no way to travel them there.

I can't! There's five of us.

We won't all fit into our car, with the wheelchair.

(EDWARD) How, wha-- We can't walk, please!

Raf, just see if you can get the bus.

(TALK SHOW, FAINTLY)

(WHISPERING) It's fine.

Ladies, may I present to you

Lady Alma von Brady. (CHUCKLES)

Mam wants to put on her Sunday best for...

..this. Okay!

-Who's hungry? -Me!

Good. Do you wanna join us, Jean?

(JEAN) No.

(QUIETLY) I just thought it might be nice if we all ate together.

(JEAN) Is it the N or the O that's confusing you?

Will your son make us breakfast?

(ALMA) Will not have time.

(TAPPING)

He has a lot of work today.

He is a writer.

What does your son do?

He's a psychotherapist.

Oh!

Her son is one of his clients.

Why does your son need therapy?

(JEAN) Fuck sakes.

Do you need a hand? Or... okay.

Okay, breakfast. How does omelet with spinach and feta cheese sound?

No?

Cornflakes will do me.

I don't think we have those.

What sorta house doesn't have cereal?

Could you go to the shops?

Um-- Okay, sure.

(ALMA) Too far.

No, no, Mam. It's 60 seconds away. Does anyone else need anything?

-I'd like sausages. -(EDWARD) Okay.

A scone, please.

-Okay, sausages, scone-- -(ALMA) Give him money.

Mam, Mam! No, I can manage.

It's, I can-- Okay, two minutes.

('JUMPIN' JIVE' BIG BAND MUSIC)

It's only two minutes away, don't worry about it.

Just two minutes away!

(PANTING)

(MUSIC BUILDS)

(MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY)

(TALK SHOW RAMBLING FAINTLY)

(ROSEY SIGHS QUIETLY)

('JUMPIN' JIVE' BIG BAND MUSIC)

(PHONE PINGS)

(PANTING)

(PHONE MESSAGE FROM STACEY) Hey, give me a call.

Meeting is set up for 12, I sent a link.

Also, have you spoken to Alma yet?

-Because we-- -(HANGS UP)

(SIGHS, OUT OF BREATH) Okay, let's get this breakfast goin'!

And then maybe after breakfast,

you and I could talk about, you know, something--

-(ALMA) I am hungry. -Something that might be happening

-that's really exciting with my work. -(ALMA) I am hungry.

So, if we could get a chance to talk about it--

-(ALMA) I am hungry. -Okay, okay. Jesus Christ.

(LIGHT MUSIC)

I need to talk to you about this thing that might happen. And it's...

..only an idea now, so don't freak out.

Why you in therapy?

What?

Who told you I was in therapy?

I dunno Mam, okay? I'm a writer. I'm neurotic.

(TAPPING)

Were you abused?

(INCREDULOUS) No!

No, I wasn't abused.

Jesus!

(TAPPING)

Are you depressed?

No, I'm not depressed.

(ROSEY) Hello? Is the man bringing me to mass?

(ANNOYED SIGH)

(TAPPING)

I am sick of them, I want to go to bed.

What're you talking about? You just got up.

(CLOCK TICKING)

You're right, they are a nightmare.

So greedy... and rude.

-(ALMA) Hmm! -Maybe we should tell them to go home.

Just let them fend for themselves.

(ALMA) Oh...

-We can do it together. -Uh-hmm.

Okay, okay.

Well, if that's what you think.

(QUIETLY) Hi Edward.

(GIGGLES) I hope Rose is behaving herself.

Guess what?

(WHISPERING) It's the hot guy from the airplane.

You'd be very proud of me.

Call you later.

('BE MY LOVER' - LA BOUCHE)

-Look at this! -Hi!

Look at this. Hola, mama!

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

Okay, we drop Maude off at the funeral first

and then me and Jean go to the hospital,

then we drop Rosey off at her book club,

Raf brings Mam to her hair appointment,

and I can get back in time for my work call.

Okay, sound good to everyone?

Well, Raf can bring you, okay?

I can't drive the bus and someone's gotta go with Jean, so...

Okay, fine! We drop Maude off at the funeral first,

then we ALL go wait with Jean at the hospital,

and then I can bring Mom to her hair appointment.

(FRUSTRATED) Happy? Okay. That's what we'll do.

Okay, change of plan. That can just go away!

Hi Edward. Pride time!

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

Edward, I need to talk to you about something

that's coming up with the publishers.

They have listened back to radio interviews

and they're concerned with how you're coming across.

You need to stop talking about social structures and colonisation

because no teenager is gonna buy this book based on subtext.

Edward, don't laugh.

See, I met these really nice guys from Ghent, these bears!

You know, like hairy gay men.

They're super nice and they invited me to go clubbing tonight.

They gave me this to wear, but...

..I mean, do you think this is appropriate?

I feel stupid. I feel...

I feel sexy?!

(EDWARD) Okay, mind the step.

(CHURCH BELLS RINGING)

('BE MY LOVER' - LA BOUCHE) ♪ I must confess ♪

♪ Girl, yes, I wanna be your lover ♪

♪ Take a chance, my love's like no other ♪

♪ Loving you not like your brother ♪

♪ Oh yeah, wanna be your lover, lover, lover ♪

Fuck's sake. I dunno what yous all had to come in with me for.

I'm not an invalid.

-(iPAD RINGING) -How do I stop it?

Just...

-There you go. -Thank you.

It's my boyfriend, Amir.

He'll think I've run off with someone else now.

-(ROSEY) He's the jealous type. -(RAF) Nice.

Found it impossible to have a relationship with an Irishman.

Yup, me too.

Irishmen are so frustrating.

In one minute they're all over you and the next they're...

Well, they've gone.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) I've been there.

(ROSEY) Do you have a significant other?

I have a boyfriend, Richard.

-Richard. -He's Dutch.

(ROSEY) I've lots of gay friends.

Two of my best friends, Tim and Ian, they have an antiques business.

I remember walking into their shop in Harold's Cross

twenty years ago and saying, "Do you know where I could find a poof?"

(CHUCKLES) And Tim opened his arms wide and said,

"Darling, will this poof do?"

Sweet Jesus.

Jean?

Why, why?

(SIGHS) Jean? Jean.

Jean, I want you to stand,

not holding onto the bar for two minutes.

It's only two minutes and the bar is right there if you need it.

Okay?

Okay.

(TIMER BLEEPS)

(STRAINED BREATHING)

(DOCTOR WHISPERS) Good.

And relax, okay?

Jean, we both know what's needed here.

Think about the amount of freedom a walker would give you.

Not having to rely on other people.

(DOCTOR) Jean.

(SOFT MUSIC)

-(RAF) Do you need a hand, Jean? -No.

Just excuse me one moment, thank you.

I'll just take these empties with me.

Take the empties with me.

Get some more sandwiches.

Are you okay for everything, Carl?

Thank you very much. I'm good, thanks.

Are you okay, Nadine? Is there anything I can do for you?

Oh, I'm okay.

(QUIETLY) Hey.

Hey, Maude. You ready to go?

Oh, dry these for me.

What, I can't--

No, Maude, just wait a minute.

Sorry...

Who is that woman?

Um...

Maude? Do--

Was she a friend of my granddad's?

Uh...

Excuse me.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners

now and at the hour of death. Amen.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost.

As it was in the beginning it is now

and ever shall be: world without end. Amen.

-And God bless you. -You've been very good.

-Maude, we have to go. -This is Edward.

Hello, hi.

Betty Byrne.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

(SOBBING QUIETLY)

I know.

(PHONE RINGING)

I'm sorry, I have to go. I'm sorry.

So sorry, my publishers are calling me so I have to...

(WHISPERING) Maude, we have to go.

Stacey I really can't talk now, I'm in the middle of something.

(STACEY ON PHONE) Okay, don't freak out.

The meeting's being pushed and we've got a bit of a problem.

(STACEY ON PHONE) They sent me a list of things they want you to consider,

so brace yourself.

Number one, they think your synopsis is way too long...

Two, your voice is getting lost...

Three, speak with more authority...

Four, you're promoting a gay novel

at a time when they're burning LGBT books in this country.

Five, remember your readers are sophisticated...

(ALMA) Edward, you can't cope.

Mam, please! Please stop, please.

Sorry to cause you trouble.

No, you didn't, Maude. It's fine, it's totally fine.

Who was your meeting supposed to be with?

Um, my publicist. It's about promoting my book in America.

(ALMA) He is very important writer, but gets so nervous before his meetings.

(JEAN) Why do you get nervous?

I don't, I don't get nervous.

You should get Dermot to prescribe some anti-anxiety medication.

(JEAN) Who's Dermot?

-His therapist. -My son.

I don't need anti-anxiety medication.

Well, I take half a cheeky if I'm flying anywhere

and there's not a bother on me then.

I mean, I get that because if you don't like flying,

but I don't need anti-anxiety medication.

It's just I don't like having meetings, which is completely... normal.

Why?

Because I don't like talking to people.

I like being on my own.

-(ALMA) Weird. -It's not-- It's not weird, Mam.

-What was his father like? -(ALMA) Weird.

Mam!

(ALMA) You are just like your dad.

(SHOUTING) Do not, do not compare me to dad right now, please!

(ALMA) The very same.

(EXASPERATED) I can't...

(JEAN) Jaysus, his fucking therapy mustn't be goin' too well.

(EXHALES UNEASILY)

(ALMA) Now you have all made him mad and I didn't get my hair done.

None of us asked to be here in the first place, you know.

(GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC)

Thank you.

(GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES)

That's the food that Dermot gave me for you.

-(ROSEY SIGHS DISAPPOINTEDLY) -Okay.

...nationalism. This free state is not the state they wanted.

This is not the state that they had fought for.

In many ways, the state that came into being...

(RAF) See how your hand is square with long fingers?

In palmistry, this is what we call an air hand.

Air people were known for being very thoughtful and considerate.

Very generous with other people.

Very sociable.

Always making others feel welcome and at ease.

Should we see if anyone else wants a hand massage?

(SOFT MUSIC)

(RAF) Well, the round palm is usually an indication of a creative person.

(ROSEY) Well, I've always been a very creative person.

I love making art.

(RAF) Yeah, what kind of art?

All sorts. I did a course recently in...

Um, what's it called?

-Paintin'? -(ROSEY) No.

-(MAUDE) Drawing? -No.

It'll come back to me.

Do me.

(RAF) Okay.

I'd a fall last year and I ended up with a torn rotator cuff.

(RAF) Oh no, you poor thing.

(JEAN) What does the shape of her hand say?

(RAF) Okay, let's see.

Oh, this tells us that she's a woman of great faith.

(RAF) See all of these little small lines here?

These are all of your guardian angels.

See how many of them you have?

-I can feel them with me. -Hmm.

Ceramics!

Ceramics, that's what it was.

Nothin' bad now, d'you hear me?

This is usually a sign of a joyous life right here.

Pfft! That's fuckin' wrong anyway.

(AWKWARD CHUCKLING)

Do you fight with people, Jean?

I fight with everyone.

I fight with meself if there's no one else around.

Things would've been easier when Larry was around.

He was good at...

..making me see sense.

(ALMA TAPPING SCREEN) How old?

(JEAN) How old am I?

(JEAN) How old was Larry?

Sixty-nine, he was only a pup.

When did your husband die, Alma?

(TAPS SCREEN) Two years.

That's Larry there.

(RAF) He's gorgeous, Jean.

(ROSEY) Ah, lovely.

That's Nigel.

(ALMA) Michael.

(GENTLE MURMURS)

(ALMA TAPPING SCREEN)

(ALMA) You would love to see them walking through the door,

asking for their dinner.

Yous had them spoiled.

(JEAN) Ah, no. They did their part, they did.

(EDWARD) They still got away with murder.

At the least the one in this house did.

My mam waited on him hand and foot for 40 years.

Yeah, but they worked very hard and it was different times.

Yous worked hard too!

Well, that's true.

Why should yous not have been given the same opportunities they were?

Well, I never married.

Never had to cook a meal for a man in my life.

See? And you still managed to make a good life

for you and Dermot on your own.

Well, it wasn't a good life, Edward.

Right.

(ALMA) She needed a man.

She didn't need a man, Mam.

Maybe I did. I was very lonely.

Well now look, you've got Amir.

Yeah, that's true.

Of course we've never met.

How does that work?

Well, we talk on the computer every day.

Sure, what's the point of that?

It's company, I suppose.

He wants to come over and pay a visit, but I don't know.

Why complicate things with sex?

Jesus, I'd complicate things with sex given half a chance.

(EVERYONE GIGGLES)

(STACEY ON PHONE) I honestly don't think it's that big a deal, Edward.

Writers do this type of thing all the time.

So, just be yourself and charm them, and we'll get on absolutely...

(RAF) Hey.

Are you okay?

(EDWARD CLEARS HIS THROAT)

They want me to sit in front of a marketing team tomorrow

and do a mock Q&A on Zoom.

Why?

Because apparently my voice needs to be more persuasive in interviews.

It's not funny! My stomach's in knots just thinking about it.

I'm-- I'm not up for it.

You're such a drama queen.

Uh, fuck you, fuck you!

These American pricks hate my voice.

C'mon, you'll be fine.

(RAF) I should go.

Okay.

You okay?

(SIGHS)

(EDWARD) Sorry.

I mean...

I know, I know.

I'm here for Alma.

I'll just go.

(THUNDER CRASHING)

(RADIO HOST) Hello and welcome to The Galley,

the podcast from Vulture.

Tonight we'll be talking to Irish novelist Edward Brady

about his debut novel, 'Aeons'.

Edward, thanks for being with us.

(ALMA'S ASSISTED VOICE) Oh, thanks for having me.

Edward?

(ALMA'S VOICE) Oh my God. Oh my God.

(CAR ENGINE PURRING)

(FOOTSTEPS)

(EDWARD) Jean?

(YELLING) Jean! Jean!

(TALK SHOW ON CAR RADIO)

(MUFFLED YELLING) Jean! Jean!

(CAR RADIO DRONES ON)

(OUT OF BREATH) Jean!

(TAXI FADES INTO THE DISTANCE)

(SIGHS FEEBLY)

('WONDERFUL LIFE' - BLACK)

What the fuck is going on?!

(EDWARD) Can you tell me where you dropped her off?

(TAXI DISPATCH ON PHONE) The driver said he dropped her at Mulligan's.

A small red-brick place over by St. Garvey's.

-(EDWARD) Cabra Road, okay. -Yeah, no problem, buddy.

Thank you.

('WONDERFUL LIFE' CONTINUES)

(JEAN SINGING FLATLY) ♪ Here I go ♪

♪ Out to sea again ♪

♪ The sunshine fills the air ♪

♪ There's music everywhere ♪

♪ Gold's in the sky ♪

♪ And in my blue eyes ♪

♪ You know it feels unfair ♪

♪ There's magic everywhere ♪

♪ Look at me standing ♪

♪ Here on my own again ♪

♪ Up straight in the sunshine ♪

(MUSIC FADING GRADUALLY)

(FAINTLY) ♪ No need to... ♪

(SOFT AMBIENT MUSIC)

(GENTLY) Jean.

Me leg is stuck.

(EDWARD WHISPERING) Watch your step there.

(FAINT CLATTERING)

(EDWARD) Okay, quiet.

(JEAN) Will I close this door?

(EDWARD) Yeah close it, but quietly.

Quietly, Jean.

-(DOOR SLAMS) -(EDWARD) Oh Jean! That's not quiet.

(JEAN) Huh? Sure...

(JEAN) Oh, here we are.

(EDWARD) Jean, no wait.

(JEAN) It's grand, I'm grand.

(JEAN) I'll only be a second now...

-(JEAN LAUGHING) Ooh! -(EDWARD) See?

Okay, good night.

(SLURRING) You says if I came home, I wouldn't have to drink on me own.

-So sit down. -(EDWARD) It's late, Jean.

Who cares, sit down.

Drink.

S'ppose I made an eejit of meself in that place, did I?

No, I don't think so.

-Sure, there was no one there anyway. -Hmm...

I wasn't even goin' there to begin with.

Where were you going?

I was goin' into town to fuck that walker in the Liffey.

You just need to give it a chance, it takes some time to get used to.

Does it?

In all your experience of usin' a walker,

takes a bit of time to get used to, does it?

Sorry.

Well, he warned me.

He said if I didn't start moving, I'd be like this forever.

Well, I didn't listen.

So! Here we are.

Your Ma misses him somethin' shockin', doesn't she?

I suppose.

Hmm, she does.

Yeah well, I don't know why.

They used to kill each other.

She always seems to forget that part.

Sure, I used to bollock the head off Larry.

You'd hear me bawling him out of it all over the estate.

That's just the way it was in them days.

If there was a few cross words,

so wha'?

Didn't do yous any harm, did it?

-Hmm... -Wha'?

Well, I wouldn't say we escaped unscathed, Jean.

I mean, you know, we're all in therapy.

We're fuckin' broke, confused, homeless.

Crippled with anxiety and incapable of sustaining

any kind of meaningful relationship with another person, so...

And how the fuck was all that our fault?

I'm just saying, it can be distressing, especially if you're a kid,

and your parents are fighting all the time.

Then if one parent keeps telling you all the details of the fight

when you're 10, because they don't have anyone else to talk to about it.

And then add to all of that all of the...

..crazy, regressive, religious bullshit that you keep throwing at us.

And it's like, you know, maybe we're grand in our 20s,

but then one day you're in your 30s and you wake up and you are...

..scared, you know. It's...

You don't know why.

(JEAN SNORES SOFTLY)

-Jean, Jean. -(STARTLED) Huh?

Jaysus, I thought someone had stuck a coin in ya there.

(CHUCKLES) Come on. Come lie down.

(JEAN LAUGHS)

(JEAN GROANS SOFTLY)

Watch that.

(MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY) Ah, ladieees!

Get up outta that!

We'll have an aul' song...

Good night, Jean.

(RECORDED VOICE) Where're you going with that camera now?

(ALMA CHUCKLES IN RECORDING)

-Alma, I'm trying to listen to the news. -(ALMA) Ah, go on!

Hello, Chloe and Layla.

I hope you've been very good for your mother and father. Now go on.

(ALMA CHUCKLES) Granddad is just full of chat this morning, girls.

(SOFT AMBIENT MUSIC)

(CHILDREN CHATTERING AND LAUGHING IN THE DISTANCE)

(SOFT MUSIC CONTINUES)

(SNORING SOFTLY)

(BIRDSONG)

(MAURA THE MEDIUM) I will ask Spirit for a name.

Spirit will tell me who they are and how they passed.

And all I ask of you is that if you recognise that name,

you validate what I'm saying. Alright?

(JEAN) She's very good, isn't she?

(ALL MUMBLE IN AGREEMENT)

Spirit, do you have a name for us today?

(WHISPERING) Oh my God.

(PHONE MESSAGE FROM STACEY) Edward, they are asking me to confirm

-your flight and itinerary-- -(HANGS UP)

(INHALES UNEASILY)

Okay.

Hey. (CLEARS THROAT)

I need to talk to you in private for a minute.

Want to go to Galway.

What?

Want to see Maura the Medium.

Mam, what are you talking about?

Galway.

-(ALMA) Medium. -(FRUSTRATED SIGH)

(JEAN) Your mammy was showing us these videos of Maura the Medium

and Rosey was saying we should find out

if she did in-person mediation.

Anyway, we sent her a message on Facebook.

And to cut a long story short,

she's booked us in for a session at four o'clock today.

We just want to know that they're at peace.

-Who?! -(ALMA) Your daddy.

-And Nigel. -And Larry.

I just fancy the idea of a road trip.

(MUFFLED SHRIEKING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS)

(SIGHS CALMLY)

We are absolutely not going on a six hour round trip to Galway, okay?

I have a really important call with my publishers at five--

(ALMA) Bring your computer.

(COOL AS ICE) Bring my computer. Are you for real?

I have to be here. What if there's no WiFi?

(ALMA) Be fine.

Oh, "Be fine, be fine"! Okay, you've certainly changed your tune.

We're not going to Galway. Sorry.

(VOICE CRACKING) And I have to speak to you about something urgent.

Mam.

('BOY' - BOOK OF LOVE)

♪ I wanna be where the boys are ♪

♪ But I'm not allowed ♪

♪ I wait outside of the boys' bar ♪

♪ I wait for them to all come out ♪

-(ALMA) Toilet. -(BRAKES SQUEALING)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

♪ Boy ♪

(JEAN) I found your book on Amazon, Edward.

Oh, look there's reviews here, will I read 'em out?

(EDWARD) No thank you.

This fella gave it five stars.

Says, "It's a wonderful novel. The characters are very human."

Oh, hang on. There's a bad one.

"Can't see what all the fuss is about." What does he know!

"Not one to be handed out unless it's to the charity shop."

(EDWARD) You can stop now.

"Starts well but goes nowhere. I put it down after 50 pages."

How the fuck does he know it goes nowhere then!

Please stop, Jean.

You're my agent, you should buy me some more time...

(MAUDE) What's Edward's book about?

I've been trying to tell her for two days now!

(ROSEY) It's about a relationship between two young gay men.

One is a teenager from Leitrim.

The other is a 22-year-old posh boy from London.

That sounds good, doesn't it?

Like Maeve Binchy but with gays.

I'm just at the bit where the main character takes his mother

to the Gresham Hotel for tea so he can tell her he's gay.

Is that what Edward did with you, Alma?

Edward's coming out was very funny.

Why? What happened?

When Edward was 17?

He snuck out to a gay bar and got off with this air steward--

(ALMA) Sven.

Sven! Sven from Sweden.

(ALMA) He was much older.

He wasn't that much older, Alma.

Um, whatever.

So, one weekend Edward lied and told Alma

he was staying with a friend.

But actually he flew to Sweden to stay with Sven--

When he was just 17?

I know! He was such a badass back then, right?

So you can just imagine 17-year-old Edward

hanging out in Sven's fancy apartment

when all of a sudden the phone rings and somebody's on the line.

(ALMA) I said is my son there?

How did you know where he was?

(ALMA) Traced the number.

She traced the number!

Colm would have been about 22, I'd say.

He would have been very moody at that age.

Always on his own.

And then suddenly he had this "friend," Adrian.

And he used to drive up to the house in a red Beamer,

and he'd bring Colm off to the pictures.

one day they were driving off and I says to Larry,

"I think your man is a bit more than a friend."

Well, the laugh!

My youngest Nicola kept saying,

(WHISPERING) "He's gay, Mammy, he's gay."

I says, "I don't want to know, I really don't want to know."

Then it all came to a head one night

'cause a chap Nicola was working with saw Billy dancing in a bar.

So he was sent home and confronted on it.

No, not by me - I couldn't hack it.

I ran upstairs and locked meself in the bathroom and wouldn't come out.

What'd you do that for?

I just found it very hard.

Still do.

(ROSEY) Would you prefer he kept it a secret

until he was 53 and married with kids?

(RAF) Exactly.

(ROSEY SIGHS)

(PHONE RINGING)

(JEAN) Edward, your phone. Will I answer it?

-(EDWARD) Yes, please. -(SPEAKER PHONE) Hi, Edward.

It's Katie here from Hamilton Lodge Residential Care--

I'm actually driving at the minute, so can I call you back?

Yeah, okay. Alright. Thank you, bye-bye.

Did that go in there? (RUSTLING WITH SEATBELT)

(EXHALES TENSELY)

(QUIET PIANO MUSIC)

Okay.

Everyone ready?

(DOORBELL RINGS SHRILLY)

Well, hello! You're most welcome.

Hello.

Come in. You can hang your jackets up in there in the hall if you like.

(MAUDE) Oh, thank you.

(SOFT AMBIENT MUSIC)

(DEEP EXHALE)

(SIGHS)

(BIRDS FLUTTERING AND COOING)

Jesus. (ROARING) PASCAL!

Would you ever do something about them pigeons!

(MATTER OF FACT) Little bastards are nesting above in the draining pipes.

Right, I'm going to do a star three card spread,

and then I'll put a call out and see who comes into us.

-Um... -(THE MEDIUM) Now just so yous know,

the messages they have might not mean anything in the here and now.

-(LOUD GUNSHOT) -(ROSEY) Jesus!

Oftentimes it's when yous go home and reflect...

(LOUD GUNSHOT)

..that whatever they say starts to make sense, alright?

The lovers.

Betrayal.

The hermit.

Oh...

It's going to be a bumpy ride.

Okay.

Okay.

One of them's very giddy, keeps telling me jokes.

That's Larry.

(THE MEDIUM) Right.

And there's another lad very offended by Larry's jokes.

Nigel.

Yes.

And now there's a third gentleman who's not a bit pleased to be here.

Says his wife Alma should know better than wasting money

on the likes of me. Is that familiar?

(ALMA TAPPING)

Michael.

Fond of giving out this fella, is he? (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Still asking, "What in the name of Jesus you're doing here?"

I just want to know that he is at peace.

He's very much at peace.

But he misses you terribly.

I had a stroke, Michael, and I lost my voice.

He says he can hear you just fine.

Edward is putting me in a home.

Mam!

(SOFTLY) Mam, that is not true.

That is not-- Can we just talk about this later?

(SIGHS) The publishers wanted me to go to America for a book tour for ten days.

Okay? So just I went to go and take a look at a place

just to see if it might be somewhere that you might like.

-(ALMA) I'm not going there. -Fine, you're not. Okay--

Just a minute.

Michael has a message for Edward.

Oh, no, no...

I'm sorry, ladies, but could you give us some space?

-I don't want to be part of that. -Talk to your daddy, Edward. You sit down.

No! I don't even want to be here!

(SOFT AMBIENT MUSIC)

Does the letter R mean anything? -

-No. -R?

No.

(ALMA) Raf.

Rafael used to be Edward's boyfriend,

but he broke up with Edward because Edward wouldn't commit.

And now Raf has a new boyfriend,

and they're moving to France together.

Spirit says you haven't been yourself, Edward.

Okay, that's enough.

(FIRMLY) He says you have to man up.

Take better care of the people you love.

Don't make the same mistake you made with Raf again.

Come on now. Do better!

(QUIETLY) Take better care of the people I love?

Right. What, the way he did?

Okay, why don't you ask Spirit why my mam had to raise two kids

on her own while he went off and did whatever he wanted

with whoever he wanted?

Because he did, Mam. You want me to talk to Dad?

That's fine, I'll talk to Dad.

Ask Spirit how he felt about having a gay son.

(RAF) Edward, stop.

You've got such a selective memory when it comes to that man, Mam.

Do you ever think about what he put me through?

And no matter what I did, no matter what, he would always be disappointed.

And who was there for him when he was sick? I was.

Andrew?! Andrew brought the house down with the eulogy. Brought the house down!

But was he there when it really mattered?

(VOICE CRACKING) No. I was.

I was there, and I am here right now!

And just because I don't have kids doesn't mean my life has no value!

(JEAN) Alma, are you okay?

(ALMA WEEPS QUIETLY)

Mam.

Mam, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I actually think I have to stand up for a minute... Oh, Jesus Christ.

-(RAF) You alright? -(MAUDE) Are you alright, Edward?

(EVERYONE MUTTERING CONCERN)

(RAF) Give him some space. (LIGHT MUSIC)

(THE MEDIUM) Are you alright? Don't worry about a thing.

Your father is by your side. His hand is on your shoulder.

(JEAN) That's the last fuckin' thing he wants to hear.

(MAUDE) Should we say a rosary?

(STRUGGLING TO BREATHE) No rosary!

(MAUDE) Oh, my God. There's something wrong with Alma!

(JEAN) Alma, are you okay?

Alma, you've nothing to worry about, pet. Michael is holding your hand.

(JEAN) Stop making it sound like someone is going to die.

No one is going to die!

-(EDWARD GASPS)) -(JEAN) Oh fuck, call an ambulance!

Someone get a paper bag from that drawer over there.

Mam! Please talk to her.

Give me your hand.

Breathe in, breathe out, okay?

The hospital wants to know, is anyone having a heart attack?

I don't know!

We don't know. The chap is gay.

What the fuck has that got to do with anytin'?

Well, here. You talk to him.

(CALMLY) You can hang up, Maude.

(RAF) They're fine.

(MAUDE) Oh, thank God they're alright.

(RAF) That's it, that's it. There we go.

(MUSIC ENDS)

(THE MEDIUM) Well I'll tell ya one thing, ladies.

The lads are going buck wild!

(JEAN) Sweet Jesus.

(RAF) Oh, my God.

(MAUDE) Are they still here?

Oh, they are indeed.

(MAUDE) Where are they?

They're standing in the corner there behind Alma.

And they're singing a ballad.

('LOUGH ERNE SHORE' - TRADITIONAL) ♪ One morning as I went a-fowling ♪

♪ Bright Phoebus adorning the plain ♪

♪ It was down by the shades of Lough Erne ♪

♪ I met with this wonderful dame ♪

♪ Her voice was so sweet and so pleasing ♪

♪ These wonderful notes she did sing ♪

(ZOOM MEETING TONE)

(STACEY ON ZOOM) Hi, everyone. Hi.

-(NOAH) Hello everyone. -(INDIA) Oh my God, where are you?

Actually, it's a long story, but I'm on a minibus... (STAMMERING)

I dunno what you'd say. I'm on a bus. (AWKWARD LAUGH)

Edward, just forget everyone else is here, and let's you and me talk.

Sure, sure.

(STACEY) Okay, so where do you wanna start, darlin'?

Shall we do influences?

Why don't you talk about the books that had an impact on you as a teenager?

Um...

Okay, okay. Um...

(SIGHS)

I actually...

..have something to confess to you guys

and I know my timing is appalling on this,

but, um...

I don't know for sure if I am going to be able to get over there.

Things with my mam, she's...

You know, she's quite unwell, as I mentioned before, and I can't--

Edward, sorry, just to clarify here,

are you saying that you can't come over for the tour now?

We're gonna take a breath here, okay?

Um...

(NOAH) We have a two week tour booked in good faith.

We have bookstores and press and signings.

We have Anne Patchett doing Q&A with you in her store in Nashville. And I mean...

(WORRIED SIGH)

Yeah.

I just don't know if I can, uh... at this moment.

With the way things are.

(LIGHT UPBEAT MUSIC)

Hi Edward, we just landed,

so I'd say we'd be with you now in about an hour.

I'm with this grumpy dope-dope who won't even talk to me.

(COLM) I can fucking hear you.

See the state of tha'?

That's been my holiday for three... fucking... days.

Anyway, see you soon.

(LIGHT UPBEAT MUSIC BUILDS)

(LIGHT UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)

(EDWARD) Thanks for today.

(RAF) It was an adventure.

(LAUGHING) It was, yeah.

What?

(QUIETLY) Don't go.

Edward, that's not fair.

-You're using me as distraction. -I'm not using you.

-You are. -I'm not.

You need to focus on what's important now.

Your book, Alma.

Our time is gone and...

Why? Why is it gone?

Maybe because I'm with someone else now.

What do you think?

I know how things go with you.

I kiss you back and then poof! You disappear.

Where's Edward? I don't know. He's writing his book now.

He's busy. He's minding Alma. He has no time.

Okay.

Go to America, or don't go to America, just...

You just need to make a decision.

For once, just make a decision and live with it.

(SOMBER MUSIC)

(SERMON DRONING ON)

(AIRPLANE FLYING OVER)

(TURN INDICATOR TICKING)

(BELL RINGING)

(ALMA GROANING FAINTLY)

Right, right.

-(ALMA SIGHS FEEBLY) -Alright.

Toilet?

Do you just wanna sit up?

(ALMA TAPPING SCREEN)

(ALMA) You have to.

What? I have to what?

(SIGHS, TAPS SCREEN)

Book tour.

Mam, I told you, okay? They said it was fine.

What?

I don't need to be there.

You don't-- So now you know better than the publishers,

my agents, and all these other people?

(ALMA) Live.

Live your life.

Mam, please.

Please, what does that even mean?

I am... living my life.

Okay, look at me. Here I am.

Here I am, I'm living my life. Perfectly happy.

(SNAPS TABLET SHUT)

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)

(VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING AND THUDDING)

(GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES)

(CAR HORN HONKING)

(UNDER HIS BREATH) Fuckin' dick.

Hey, how you doing? Nice to meet you.

(EDWARD) How're ya?

Kate's here and she wants to see you so bad.

(EDWARD) Hi! Kate? I thought you hated her.

Yes, I do.

Oh, sorry. Por favor.

(RAF) Oh, thanks. Thank you.

How was... How did you find the--

Oh, we ended up at Rathmines, and...

You got lost.

(ALMA) We will miss you now.

Tell you what, once we get settled in,

maybe you and Edward might come over for a visit?

And I'll send you loads of pictures.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(GUEST) Speech!

Goodbyes are hard, but this one is particularly hard

because working with you all

for the past four years has been amazing...

(GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES)

(GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC ENDS)

(BELL RINGING)

(UPBEAT CHAMBER MUSIC)

(MAUDE) Good morning, Alma.

(ALMA) Mushy b for break.

(MAUDE) Jean?

(JEAN) How're ya, Alma?

(ALMA) Mushy b for break.

(ALMA) Mushy b for break.

You want a break? From us?

Mushi, is it moussey?

Do you want mousse for your hair?

Is it about something you wear?

(YELLING) Rosey, will ya c'mere for a minute?

(ROSEY) Maude, please stop fidgeting with the controls on her iPad.

(MAUDE) I didn't touch them.

Oh, is it something you want to eat for breakfast?

(ROSEY) Mushy beef?

(MAUDE) Mushrooms?

Mushroom risotto?

What the fuck would she be eatin' risotto for breakfast for?

(APPLAUSE)

(HOST) Hello everyone, and welcome to the First Copy podcast,

coming to you live from the Corner Bookstore in New York City.

(HOST ON iPAD) Joining us this afternoon is the Irish novelist, Edward Brady.

We begin, as always, with an extract from his debut novel, 'Aeons'.

He's very professional, isn't he?

(ALMA) Stop talking.

Sorry.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

Cian feigned indifference and took the drink from Fergal.

What if it's spiked with drugs, he thought.

For most of his adolescence,

his mother was obsessed with the dangers of spiked drinks.

She made him promise, on pain of death,

that he would never accept a drink

from anyone who wasn't a relation.

And for one brief moment,

he pondered the absurdity of the McDonough family.

Every aunt, uncle, and cousin

all standing in this tiny little gay bar with him,

watching Ramona, the drag queen,

pulling a pearl necklace from her rear end.

-(EDWARD) I write really slowly. -(LAUGHTER)

So no, I'm not a good multitasker. No.

Ask my mam.

Ooh, there you are, Alma! You're famous.

(LAUGHTER)

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)

I'm in Philadelphia now.

Or Boston, I dunno. I'm in the next place.

This is Patrick from the PR place, from the publishers.

Hey!

(WHISPERING) I kissed him last night.

(EDWARD) Fergal flashed an insincere smile, sensing his apprehension.

Then winked and kissed him on the cheek before sashaying away

like the bourgeois villain in an Agatha Christie novel.

Agatha Christie used to write three books a year.

-Did he? -She.

(JEAN) Is that not the chap with the moustache

that wrote the 'Jewel of the Nile'?

(ROSEY) 'Death on the Nile'.

(ROSEY) You're thinking of Poirot.

He's a character in her books.

Uh, you just said it was a woman.

No, Poirot is a man, Agatha Christie is a woman.

-David Suchet plays him. -That's right.

(ALMA) Stop talking.

(MAUDE) I saw him on the Late Late Show, he's a very spiritual man.

-(ALMA) I can't hear Edward. -(JEAN) Hmm, sounds like a creep to me.

(ALMA) Stop talking.

(JEAN) Jesus, the American accent is the pits, isn't it?

(MAUDE) It goes through my head!

(JEAN, SQUEAKY VOICE) Hi, I'm from Denver, pleased to meet you.

(ROSEY) Have you heard of xenophobia, Jean?

(JEAN) You heard of fistaphobia, Rosey?

(ALMA) You are all annoying me now.

(GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC)

(MUSIC FADES GRADUALLY)