All language subtitles for Dharma & Greg s05e22 Tuesdays Child

All right, here you go. Two giraffes
playing twister or a drunk octopus

directions.

This is my life. I go to get coffee, my
wife becomes a street performer. No,

just fill it in for a friend.

Thanks for the break. My back teeth are
floating.

No problem.

You know what would really hurt?

Nude rodeo.

Where did that come from?

Uh, clown, rodeo clown, rodeo drive.

Fancy clothes, no clothes, nude rodeo.

Yes, that would hurt.

Hey, sweetie, did you want a balloon?
Rodney will make you one.

Oh, sweetie,

we have to go. Where's your mommy and
daddy?

Maybe she doesn't speak English.

That's an interesting choice.

My address. Can you write down where you
live?

Okay. This is me.

And this is my apartment building.

Okay. And this is you.

Can you draw where you live?

Oh, that's true. You do have more hair
than I gave you.

Actually, let me just get these out of
here.

These are tickets to a Paul Simon
concert.

He used to play with a fellow named
Garfunkel.

It's a funny name, isn't it?

Well, I asked all around, and nobody's
lost a kid, but keep your eyes peeled

a set of keys and a German shepherd
named Carl. I'm guessing that's a dog.

You're Mr. Montgomery? Oh, yes.

We don't know her name, and she still
hasn't said anything.

Yeah, and I tried English, Spanish,
French, and I can only swear in

but I have to have a couple of Mai Tais,
and you really have to push my buttons.

We'll take her back to the precinct.

Family services to take care of until we
locate your parents. Okay. Thank you.

Honey, these nice people here are going
to help you find your mommy and daddy,

okay?

Oh, and I don't know how far the
precinct is, but she just had a 42

gulp, so you might want to go lights and
sirens.

She's got my good pen.

Thank you.

Well, the police won't give out any
information if you're not a relative.

it'll work out, honey. Remember the time
your father locked you for six hours at

Hands Across America?

No. Well, that's probably just as well.

We did everything we could. She's in
very good hands. Now, we need to get

Have you seen my binoculars?

Honey, we're going to be in the eighth
row.

Are you going to play What's Up, Paul
Simon's Nose?

I'll look in the kitchen.

Oh, Mother, Dad, what brings you by?

Well, Larry said that we might be able
to find Abby here.

Raises more questions than it answers?

Abby, we were... Antiquing, and we ran
across this elegant early American

and I said to Edward, Abby must have
this.

Kitty.

I don't know what to say.

Try what do you want.

Abby, do you need any help at that dear
little charity thrift shop that you run?

Yeah.

Well, you know, I feel I just... I have
so much to add to the community, and I

really feel I have not been doing my
fair share.

She has to do community service for
decking the perfume girl at Neiman's.

You hit someone?

The woman was basting me in Chantilly. I
put up my hand over my faith, and my

hard -shelled Judith Lieber bag
accidentally tapped her on the cheek.

Knocked her on her ass.

Well, she was wearing ridiculous shoes.

And that defense didn't work.

Frank, can we stop? It's a police
station on the way to the concert.

Darn it, we're already late. We're
barely going to make it as it is. She's

to be fine. She really will.

What are my binoculars doing in the junk
drawer?

I don't know. Maybe the twist ties and
the batteries were throwing a party.

I didn't think we could see how she was
doing.

Okay, now wish for a million dollars.

that her mother is on her way so we can
go. Well, I'd like to wait for her mom.

I understand, but she's in safe hands
and we're missing Paul Simon. Don't you

think that if Paul Simon found a little
girl, he would stay with her even though

he was missing us in concert?

Don't you make a very odd point.

Oh, Grace, thank God.

Look at that.

Mother and child reunion.

Speaking of which, Simon. Wait a second.

Hi, I'm Dorma, my husband, and I found
your daughter.

She kind of found out. Oh.

work and she slipped away from the new
sitter. I just can't seem to find

that she likes. Does he ever talk?

She just started doing this lately. I
think she's mad at me because I work so

much, but I'm a single parent.

Maybe she just likes the sounds of
silence.

We unload the stuff here and we ask the
people if they'd like any help unloading

their car.

I see.

We bring it to the sorting area here,
and if they have any plastic or paper or

cardboard, that goes over there, because
we recycle.

Ah, I would assume nothing less.

What's Mrs. Moneybag doing here? She's
doing community service. I heard she

punched out a perfume girl at Neiman
Marcus.

Why can't she pick up trash on the
highway?

That's pretty much the place.

Abby, Robba, Susan, and you, dear.

Fine, fine work.

Now, I have taken the liberty of filling
in my hours for the next five days, so

if you will just sign here, I will be on
my way, and you can get on with your

noble work.

Kitty, no. I think the intention was
that you actually work here.

Well, if I was going to do that, I could
go anywhere.

Kitty, what I'm about to say may sound a
little harsh, but if you don't work

here, I'm going to have to tell the
court.

Sorry we were late, but I couldn't leave
the police station until I knew

everything was going to be okay.

And we made it. And how cool was it that
our Garfunkel showed up?

We missed Paul Simon. We missed Simon
and Garfunkel. We got Garfunkel.

And it was stacked parking, so we were
the last ones in and the last ones to

leave.

But we got to listen to the entire
Graceland CD. That was fun, huh?

Do you listen to music in stony silence?

Hey!

My good pen!

These are good. They're not lima beans,
they're fava beans.

And this is mango chutney, and you can
put that right on the halibut.

I think you'll find that it doesn't need
it. It's very moist.

Your mom's going to be here soon.

Okay. Here you go, Grace. I made you
some mac and cheese. Oh, she's not

For good food.

She's a kid, Greg. What kind of food did
you eat when you were a kid? This.

Can I talk to you for a minute? Sure.

Okay, we're just going to go pee in the
kitchen, okay?

Honey, there's something going on.

We have to figure out why she keeps
coming back here. I don't know.

there's something going on, but, you
know, our getting involved might just

things worse. This is someone else's
child, and it's none of our business.

She is our business, Greg. The universe
made her our business.

Dharma, if the universe really wanted us
to drop everything and get involved

here, it would have given us Neil
Diamond tickets.

I thought she really liked this new
babysitter.

I hope she wasn't too much trouble. No,
she was fine. She's so sweet.

A little bit of a picky eater.

She's a little bit of a picky cooker.

Listen, if you want to talk about what's
going on or anything... Grandma, I'm

sure she just wants to get her daughter
to bed.

I really should, but I really appreciate
everything that you've done, and I

promise you this will never happen
again.

Okay. Well, bye, Grace.

thing, you know where to find us, or if
you forget, just follow Grace.

Or you can ask your family and friends
instead of a pair of total strangers.

You know, if she had eaten your chutney,
you'd have given her a key to the

place.

Oh, this is disgusting. You cannot sell
shoes that other people have worn.

Marty, yes,

the nervous one.

Would you just move this box out for me,
dear? Oh, Lord.

May I help you? I just wanted to donate
these clothes.

Oh, all right. Well, let me just have a
look here. I have a second bag in the

car. No, well, let's not be hasty.

No, I don't think we can use any of
this. Thank you very much.

But it's a donation.

Yes, well, we're a thrift shop, dear,
not the city dumps.

Thank you very much.

Abby, just the gal I'm looking for.

I have been in touch with my contractor,
and we are going to get rid of this

general junkyard area over here and put
up dressing rooms.

Dressing rooms?

Wait a minute. Where are all the books?

She threw them out. She said they smell
like old books.

No, no, no. You do not want this. This
is the wrong color for you.

She just needs something to keep warm.

No, what she needs is a sense of style.

This doesn't work on you. I don't think
we have anything for you here.

Try Macy's.

I just came home for lunch and a little
dessert.

Maybe dessert first.

I didn't catch you with your boyfriend,
now, did I?

I didn't catch you with your boyfriend,
now, did I?

Well, now, wait a second.

If you're Greg, then who's this guy?

Did you call her mother?

Actually, I did. I called her this
morning to see how Grace was doing, and

turned out that she had a half day from
school, and she needed a sitter. And, of

course, you offered. Yeah, and I really
should check with her mom, because I

don't think I'm supposed to have boys
over.

Hello. Oh, hey, Larry, what's up?

Great. If we're going to drink Mr.
Juice, why don't we take off Mr.

Jacket and Mr.

Time? Okay, I'll be right there.

I think I've got to go. What? Why?

Larry... playing with the baby and he
threw his back out and now he's in the

middle of the living room floor and he
can't move.

Darma, you're not going to leave me with
her, are you?

I'll be back in an hour. Just take her
with you to the office and I'll pick her

up there. Bye, sweetie. Darma?

Honey, I gotta go.

Make her some lunch, okay?

How do you feel about leftover chicken
marsala?

Mac and cheese it is.

I know this probably doesn't look very
interesting, but it kind of is.

This is a letter from a man who wants to
do business with us.

And this is a draft of a letter that
answers him.

And I'm going to look at this and make
sure there's nothing in the letter we're

writing that exposes us legally.

Arlene!

Any word from Dharma?

Oh, she called an hour ago. She said
she's still tied up with her dad and the

baby. See, now, that's the kind of thing
I really need to know.

And now you do.

By the way, Pete delivered his report.
It's another page -turner. Thanks. Could

you get some scrap paper for Grace to
draw on?

Sure thing.

Go nuts.

You know, Grace, you don't have to stay
in here. How would you like to go get a

donut with Marlene?

Oh, I wouldn't want to do that either.

You know, I used to come here when I was
a kid, and I'd be bored just like you

are. Wait, here's something I used to
do. My dad would yell at me, but it's

still kind of fun.

You can use these to build things, you
know?

You can make a fort or a house.

You could use this for the roof.

And then you can pretend that there are
people inside.

Hey, I like this house.

But it's kind of shabby.

What did I tell you about playing with
those books?

Dad, this is Grace.

I'm watching her for Dharma.

Oh, hello, Grace. I'm Edward.

Oh, what you got in your ear there, huh?

What you got in your... One of you guys
got a quarter?

There you go.

She threw everything out. She put this
stuff up. And then after you left, she

gave us these suits and told us we have
to wear them today.

And look at Marcy.

She's looking...

Guys, it's only 30 more hours.

I won't make it.

Kitty, what have you done?

I know, you're welcome.

No, Kitty, we can't charge $50 for a
sweater.

This is a $300 sweater. You had it
marked for $7. Because we're a non

organization.

Because you charged $7 for a $300
sweater.

You know what? I'm beginning to feel
really selfish keeping you here.

Yeah. So I'm just gonna... I'm gonna
sign off on your hours.

Consider your community served.

Well, but I think I've only put in...
No, no, no, no. Really, it's as if

been here a hundred hours.

Well, Abby, I have to admit that I came
to you looking for a way out, and you

were right to insist that I do my time.

And I intend to do all of it.

In fact, I may volunteer here.

You need me.

I have been called to dress the poor of
San Francisco.

Ah.

May I help you?

Of course.

As if I need to ask.

That's the guy who steals our...

Fine. How's your dad doing? Well, we
figured it out. It was not his back. He

his belt on too tight.

You guys want to come down for dinner?

A couple minutes?

Okay, but don't make me come back up
here.

so much for watching Grace today. Oh,
she was no trouble at all.

I, however, got two timeouts.

Well, we'll be out of your hair very
soon. My sister just got me a great job

Los Angeles.

And Gracie has a cousin there she can
play with. Oh, that's good news. When

you leaving? Because I told Grace next
time we'd do jello balloons.

Well, it's all happening very fast.
We're going to be flying out tomorrow to

start looking for a place to live.

Oh, wow.

Oh, look how cute this picture is of
Grace.

Is that her dad?

Yes, it is.

Gracie, do you want to go feed Cleo?

And fish food, sweetie, not Fruit Loops.

My husband passed away in January.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, it was a very sudden car accident.

She's having a very hard time. She
misses him a lot.

Oh, Gracie, honey, let me help you with
that.

Who does Grace's dad look like?

Well. Yeah.

I guess that explains the house call,
huh?

Okay. Well, thank you guys for
everything that you've done.

Sure. We'll just say goodbye.

Oh, sure.

This is probably why she didn't eat the
halibut.

Nobody likes Chuck E. Craig.

All right.

Well, it was really fun hanging out with
you, Grace.

Thanks for keeping an eye on Craig.

It was really nice meeting you.

And I had a great time today.

And your mom said that you guys are
going to move to Los Angeles. That

like fun.

Hey, Grace.

Sometimes people have to go away.

Sometimes we don't want them to, but
they have to anyway.

And that makes us sad.

And I think when that happens, it's okay
to be sad.

Here, you should have these, because
believe it or not, we have enough.

little chilly up here, isn't it?

Yeah, a little.

She's going to be fine. I know.

And you're going to be a great dad.

How do you know?

How am I going to know what to do?

Oh, you'll watch what I do.

You'll totally disapprove and do the
complete opposite.

And what's the kid going to think?

She'll think, I am one lucky kid.

smoke cigars in the elevator.