Original subtitles

Lenny, are you bored?

Oh, no, no. I'm taking a quiz. I'm about to find out which NSYNC guy I'm NSYNC

with.

Hope it's Lance.

I am folding.

Well, if you can see me, why are we talking on these stupid headsets?

What do you think? It's great. Let's buy it. Wear it out. We gotta go.

It's fair.

Marlene works here, and I'd really like to get out of here without having to

talk to her.

Hello, Greg.

Marlene!

Are you working here now?

No, I'm landing planes at Oakland.

What happened to your job at the bookstore?

I got canned.

Barnes liked me. Noble thought I had an attitude.

I am folding!

Wow, this is like your third job since... Since your husband chewed me up

spit me out like yesterday's sushi.

I'm catching up. We gotta run.

Honey, I gotta pay for this car.

Ah, cool your jets, Kiffany.

She was really unhappy with me. I thought we caught her on a good day.

Would you ever consider hiring her at Montgomery Industry?

Not unless we need a vice president in the back pocket.

Hurry up and change. We have to be at the Platon at 7 .30.

Or we can have dinner, just the two of us here.

And a kitty.

What's that?

Greg, have you met Leonardo DiCatrio?

That's Marlene's cat. Why do you have Marlene's cat? Well, Marlene and I had

coffee. We were talking about her work situation.

There's a job fair tonight, and I encouraged her to go.

But she needed someone to sit with Leonardo.

Why? Well, he's got some kind of intestinal virus and he drops every 45

and he likes it when someone scratches behind his ears when he throws up.

We've had this reservation for a month. You're the one who said I was working

too hard and that we should have a nice romantic dinner at some place with nudie

waiters. It's le poisson, that's French.

They answer the phone, screw you.

No, and it sounds great, honey, but we could have a nice dinner here.

Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on.

Well, false alarm. He's fine. But don't look at him. He's probably embarrassed.

Doesn't Marlene have a friend who can take care of a cat?

We are her friends.

No, no, we're not.

She's just a woman who used to work for me, who I fired.

Greg, I was brought up to believe that once someone becomes part of your life,

you care for them always.

They become part of your family.

That is a nice philosophy.

I, however, was brought up to believe that if you don't like someone and you

fire them, you don't have to take care of their miserable, dyspeptic cat.

The earlier says brunch will be ready in five minutes, which gives me the

opportunity to make a rather important announcement.

A week from Saturday, Edward and I are going to renew our wedding vow.

Really? Good for you.

Kitty, you know what? I know your mom's not around anymore. If you need someone

to do that wedding night talk with, I'll be available.

Isn't Saturday a little quick?

Oh, the Manharts did one of these deals last week. The ladies won't stop yapping

about it. Can't your mothers go?

Edward, really.

Um, Gregory, we would like you to be the best man.

Sure. Dharma, we would like you to oversee the guest book.

So what, coat check was taken?

Dharma, if you want the job of the groom, it's open.

Oh, good, he's gone. You two sit right there. I want you to see my dress.

I don't think your dad wants to do this.

My parents have an arrangement where that's not really an issue.

Hello?

Hi, Marlene.

Okay, okay.

Calm down.

She's at Macy's. She has a job interview tomorrow and she doesn't know what to

wear.

It's just some sort of warning label.

Now, kind of in the middle of something here, is there someone there who can

help you?

Well, what did you say to her?

She's pretty frazzled. Okay, and again, some people might not feel obligated to

drop everything and come running, but if you feel differently, I'm not going to

say anything.

Honey, you're being really passive -aggressive. I don't think so, but if

what you believe, I'm not going to contradict you.

Are you done? If you're not interested in what I have to say, I'm not going to

force it on you.

Wow.

These are amazing ribs.

You actually had them flown in from Dallas?

Yeah, I worked out this thing with a guy in our office down there. When the

company jet flies down there, it's full of dim sum. When it comes back, ribs.

Hey, Dad.

Pete.

What's going on in here?

Ribs and plenty of them, Grandpa Bibb.

Oh, actually, I just had a salad.

Salad?

There was bacon in it.

Dad, everything checks out with the mutual NDA that Greenwald sent over, so

don't I set up the meeting for a week from Friday? Oh, no good. I'm going to

in New Orleans that weekend.

Oh, New Orleans?

Great.

We'll send you down there. You can bring some sourdough. When you come back,

you'll have an attache full of etouffee.

Dad, you can't go to New Orleans next weekend. That's when you and Mother are

supposed to renew your vows. I made it clear to your mother I'm not doing that.

I don't know why people even bother renewing their vows. It's easier to just

them lapse.

Dad, I don't think you did make it clear. I have a fitting at five for a

coat, and Mother's asked me to memorize the words to Can You Feel the Love

Tonight.

That's a pretty tune. I'm sorry I won't be there to hear it.

I hope you save some room, Ed, for some genuine Boston cream pie.

Why did we send the plane to Boston? For pie.

Oh.

Nice.

Hi, Marlene. The outfit looks...

How did the job interview go? I think the woman in human resources was jealous

I'm a petite.

You didn't point that out, did you?

How could I not?

Okay. Well, here's Leonardo.

Thanks for taking care of him, Diddy, you know. Whatever you're about to say,

did it on every piece of furniture.

Well, don't clean anything yet. I need you to sit with him again on Thursday.

Thursday? There's a course at the Learning Annex on how to flirt your way

perfect job.

Marlene, I can't.

Oh, please.

Pretty please.

Marlene, shopping and taking silly courses is not the way to get a job.

Maybe you should update your resume and try to be nice to people.

That's it. I need a new resume. Well, there you go.

That's a start. Why don't you go home and get on it? I can't. My parents...

coming and I have to pick them up at the airport.

Unless somebody else could pick them up for me so I could have a few hours to

focus.

Irma?

Hi, honey.

I am so looking forward to soft -shell crabs. I've been walking sideways all

day. Huh?

Listen. I got us a booth where we can sit side by side, so underwear, no

underwear, it's your call.

Obviously do not have tongues.

Be nice. They have Rolaids.

Rolaids are fine.

Hello? Penny, I would like you to meet Marlene's parents.

Marty and Rose Hoffman. They'll be joining us for dinner.

But not French.

The cream sauces don't agree with Marty. I'm up for anything close.

I'm hypoglycemic. I have to eat in the next 20 minutes.

On the plus side, Marlene took the cat.

The other place you could put on your own topping.

But you didn't like the other place because it wasn't ice cream, it was

yogurt. Yes, but they had toppings. I'll have a double scoop of French vanilla.

31 flavors, you don't want to sample first?

He'll try the coconut triple ripples. I don't like coconut.

Yes, you do.

You want to bring something home for your husband?

He left the restaurant with an upset stomach. Oh, he sure did.

Want to get something for Marlene?

She doesn't need it. Boy, I just realized you guys must be exhausted. And

sure Marlena's a big day planned for you guys, huh? She says she has a job

interview tomorrow.

No kidding.

On a Saturday.

Hey, it's San Francisco.

Boys kiss boys. People interview on Saturdays. What do we know?

Well, you'll have a great time. You'll do some sightseeing.

We don't know where to go.

We'll be fine. We'll just sit in the hotel.

Well, I suppose I can show you around a little after my yoga class.

Oh, if it's not too much trouble.

Darling, let me ask you something, if you don't mind.

This yoga you teach, running around in a leotard all day, this is a job for a

woman your age.

Well, I'm not that old.

You're not that young.

I'll give you a ride to your hotel.

Oh, don't be silly. You go home to your sick husband.

We'll find our way.

Okay, well, at least let me get your cab.

I can't take a cab.

Between the smell and the bad shocks, I get sick.

Okay, well, there's a streetcar that lets you out right in front of your

Oh, I can't handle to step up with my hip.

I suppose you could walk.

It's cold.

It's so far.

Hey, why don't I give you a ride?

If it's not too much trouble.

This is a train wreck waiting to happen.

She's going through with the ceremony.

He's not going to be there.

She's going to be humiliated.

Can you feel the love tonight?

Don't talk to me about parents. I just spent the whole day at Alcatraz with

and Marty Hoffman, and I am telling you, if pushed hard enough, you could swim

to the mainland.

Don't. Please.

Hi, it's Greg and Dharma. Leave a message.

They can take care of themselves, and so can Marlene. You are not responsible

for everyone on the planet, and I'm glad that you figured that out.

Hi, it's Greg and Dharma. Leave a message.

I'm telling you, this is the same number I just dialed. And I'm telling you, you

dialed wrong.

Hi, guys, I just got in.

Sure, who doesn't love Fisherman's Wharf?

print out my resume. I hope that's okay.

I guess so.

Listen, thanks for taking care of my cat and for letting Dharma help me. I hope

it didn't cause any problems with you guys.

Thank you, Marlene.

Are you okay?

Actually, I'm feeling great.

I'm getting my life together. I'm relaxed.

I tell you, Greg, you don't know what it's like to go 48 hours without dealing

with my parents.

Lately, I don't.

Do you want some?

No, thanks.

Everything all right?

It's a stupid thing. My parents are supposed to renew their wedding vows

Saturday, and my father is refusing to show up. And did you just ask me if

everything's all right?

Yeah. Do you need money?

No, I'm good.

Why isn't your dad going to be there?

I don't know.

There's going to be a full bar.

You know, I don't know why he's putting up such a fight. All he has to do is...

shave, put on a suit, and get married again.

Did she ask him if he wanted to do it?

No, but she never does.

My mother's exactly the same way. My father hasn't been allowed to order his

entree at a restaurant since Bonanza went off the air.

I don't know why my dad's fighting her so much on this one.

Well, maybe because it's a wedding.

You know, somebody's supposed to ask somebody if they want to get married.

Maybe you're right.

That's what's been holding me back.

Your virus software was out of date, so I downloaded an upgrade for you.

Thank you.

A chicken noodle?

I made it myself.

I'll get a bowl.

No, no.

Use the top.

It's more fun.

You want me to taste it first?

Is the tea supposed to be this bitter?

I'm taking them off my hands for a couple of hours.

Karma, how can I put this without being judgmental?

Locusts are nature's children, and they have an important job in the ecosystem,

but I don't want them in my house.

Family. How do you figure that? They are the parents of your son -in -law's ex

-wife. Abby, I'm begging you, please.

Do you have me be lifted?

I just asked her. And from the bathroom, I'm supposed to psychically know.

It's my last one.

Dharma, this is not your responsibility.

But, Abby, aren't you the one who always says that we should care for the people

whose lives connect with ours? Yeah, I'm not saying that you shouldn't care

about Marlene. I am saying that you don't have to schlep her parents all

town.

We should get going, dear. The dust from all that matrimony is starting to make

me a little...

Dad. Ah, son, you want to shoot a game?

Uh, not right this second. We're kind of having a wedding downstairs.

You don't say.

Dad, um, mother has something that she would like to say to you. Mother?

Edward.

Catherine.

Oh, for heaven's sake. Uh, it has come to my attention that I...

may have neglected to ask you if you wanted to renew your vows.

Well, would you?

Well, that certainly makes a fellow feel special.

Quickly, Edward. The ice sculpture's melting.

Could you give us a moment, Gregory?

Edward, maybe I didn't go about this the right way, and maybe it began

for the wrong reasons, but I...

that you would want to go through the ceremony as much as I would.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Edward Montgomery, would you like to spend the rest of your life with

me?

I would be honored.

Shall we?

Oh, as to your vows, I took the liberty of jotting down a few thoughts.

You can paraphrase if you like, but I would stick to the text because it

flows very nicely.

Grandma! Mom! Dad!

How was your day?

Take them!

in your refrigerator besides diet soda. We're starving.

What kind of people don't eat meat?

They're not tired. They don't want to go to bed. They want to go back to

Fisherman's Wharf to find the real place that invented Irish coffee because

apparently the place I took them, which is actually the place that invented

Irish coffee, isn't the place that some guy named Phil told them invented Irish

coffee. My advice to you, save you a lot of time and trouble and just take them

to Ireland.

John, I'm sorry. Marlene, I wish you all the luck in the world.

I really hope you find a job, but you're going to have to do it yourself. I

cannot help you anymore.

I got a job.

Really?

Well, that's great.

Yeah, Greg hired me.

Greg hired you?

He could have done it a week ago when I asked him to in the clothing store.

Donna, you're going to need to learn to relax.

Did I hear that?

Alice, your life.

That's not a minute. You know what a minute is?

One, you make me crazy. Two, you make me crazy. Three, you make me crazy.

Like the roots of two beautiful trees, our hearts and souls

will intertwine for the rest of our lives.

Mere words cannot express my feelings.

Hit it, Dennis.

How lucky can one guy be?

I kissed her and she kissed me.

Like the fella once said, ain't that a kick in the head?

Her room was completely black.

I hugged her.

At our age, it's not like we're ever going to see Marlene walk down the

Can it, Ma.

I go to sleep and keep grinning.

If this is just the beginning, my life is going to be

beautiful.

I have sunshine enough to spread.

It's like the fellas.

Tell me quick.