All language subtitles for Dean Martin Sammy Davis Jr (1975)

The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast, coming
to you from the MGM Grand Hotel in the

entertainment capital of the world, Las
Vegas, Nevada.

The glittering city of excitement and
laughter provides the scintillating

backdrop for tonight's star -studded
roast.

Ladies and gentlemen, from the Celebrity
Room of the Grand Hotel, Dean Martin

honors our man of the hour, Sammy Davis
Jr., with tonight's guest,

Freddie Prinze and Don Rickles.

Phyllis Diller, Mitzi Russell, Danny
Thomas, Milton

Berle, Dionne Warwick, Wilt Chamberlain,
Joey Bishop,

Jan Murray, Frank Gorshin, Foster
Brooks, Norm

Crosby, and your Roastmaster, Dean
Martin. And tonight's very special man

hour. Sammy Davis, Jr.

We're honoring Sammy Davis, Jr.

And in recognition...

Of one of the great black men of our
time, even the NBC peacock is wearing an

afro.

Yet this is the biggest night in Vegas
since Gladys Knight went to the crap

table and lost two of her pips.

The Sammy Davis story started in Harlem.

His family was so poor when Sammy was
born, they couldn't even afford a crib.

Until the age of three, he slept in a
hollowed -out watermelon.

Wilp ain't coming towards me, is he?

If you think Sammy's small now, you
should have seen him when he was born.

The doctor couldn't tell whether it was
a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork

sausage.

As a child of the street, Sammy was
constantly the companion of bookmakers,

thieves, ex -cons, and pickpockets, some
of whom are on the dais tonight.

he got was in Atlanta.

As Sammy stepped off the plane he was
met by the governor and a rope.

Even the Ku Klux Klan took notice of
Sammy. They voted him most likely to be

next.

He proved that a black man could eat in
white restaurants, check into white

hotels, date white women, and be carried
away in a white ambulance.

Ambulance. Not ambulance.

Ambulance.

I'm more black than you. You don't know
that yet.

Sammy's never denied his heritage. Even
at elegant parties in the White House,

he still drinks Ripple.

from a jelly glass.

And Sammy almost did a command
performance for Prince Rainier of

didn't perform that night because he was
a little steamed that Princess Grace,

she was wearing more jewelry than he
was. That's why.

Because you should have seen him when he
came in tonight.

He was wearing copper bracelets, coral
rings. He looked like a pushcart in

Tijuana.

Today, Sammy is happily married thanks
to his beautiful wife, Altaviz. They

in Beverly Hills and have a German cook
and a Japanese gardener. Last week, they

got together and captured Sammy's house.

I think the funniest guy in show
business. I love him. Mr. Milton.

Burrow.

What a night!

What a night!

Look at Dino. He don't know where the
hell he is.

Happy, smiling, relaxed.

He still thinks he's on every week.

I came here for a roast and he's fried.

This one's going to a crisp.

Sammy, you look great. You've taken

off height.

You look beautiful.

I bring you greetings, Sammy, from all
of my people, the Italians.

If he can be Jewish, I can be Italian.

And also, in honor of the many blacks on
the dais tonight, the hotel didn't put

any silverware on the table.

have a feeling Chamberlain is going to
dribble me all the way back to

I didn't come here to talk to a tree.

Just a little sap.

Sammy, you look okay.

Are you comfortable?

Sitting the way you are?

You're not, are you?

Well, I can get you another phone book.

It's good to be on the dais with my very
good friend, Danny Thomas.

Danny Thomas is the only comedian I know
who gets written up in Watchtower.

I saw Danny at the Dunes the other
night. He did two performances, one at 8

a midnight mass.

talking about the biggies.

Let's get back to one of the smallies.

What'd you do with the sardines?

This man, this man, this original model
for the Oreo cookie.

What a dancer. He danced with his
father. He danced with his uncle.

Until he was 35, he didn't know what a
broad was.

You took your glass. You getting tired,
Sammy?

Want to take a watermelon break?

The reason I say that is because Sammy
hasn't been feeling well lately. Last

month, he had an operation on his
throat, and they had a problem. They had

roll him flour to find his mouth.

It worked hard to get where he's at.

At the pinnacle of his profession, he's
a pro...

He's a fighter. He takes advantage of
every opportunity.

And all I can say about Sammy Davis is
give him an inch and he'll be four foot

eight. Thank you.

Sammy and I have been friends for really
a long, long, long time.

I met Sammy while I was playing
basketball in Philadelphia against the

Celtics, I believe it was.

I scored 58 points that night, and Sammy
was so excited that he ran up to hug me

and crashed his nose right in my knees.

Sammy told me how much he envied me, but
actually, really, I...

Envy you, Sammy.

I was out there on the court really
playing hard with Havlicek giving me a

here and Bill Russell giving me an elbow
there.

There you were in the stands with two
beautiful chicks getting all the good

parts.

When I really got to know Sammy, though,
I found out really that he had a big,

big complex.

His complex was being short.

And that's why Sammy never wears high
Western boots. They cut him under the

arms.

Also,

you'll never catch Sammy walking through
Central Park.

He doesn't want to be mugged by a
pigeon.

Did you notice while he was talking,
nobody on the dais heckled him?

Ladies and gentlemen, a funny young man
who's taken the country by storm, Mr.

Freddie Prince.

Thank

you

very much, Dean.

I've been watching you on TV for years.

A lot of years.

I heard all those stories about the way
you booze it up. I just want to tell

you, if you fall down tonight, I'm not
picking you up because it's not my job.

I'm proud founder Sammy Davis Jr., who
overcame the prejudice against his

minority background to become a
superstar.

It's not easy being Jewish.

Being Puerto Rican myself, I have a
special feeling for all minorities.

Chicanos, Indians, Eskimos, Republicans.

It's really strange because, like, Sam
is a very special guy to me.

He's a brother, which is not too
thrilling for my mom.

You can just hear her say, he's not your
brother. That was not my job. No.

except his people got there before we
did.

Stanley Summers was really dazzling to a
kid just out of New York, like a

fascinating sight, wearing a long white
fur coat, rings, jewelry, high heels.

I didn't know whether to ask him for an
autograph or a date.

Sammy took me under his wing.

And he actually let me live in his big
Beverly Hills mansion.

And it was the best gardener's job I
ever had.

Real fun to stay in his house, man. A
lot of fun. Because he has a screening

room with a projector. And every night
he'd show movies. He told me there were

great classics of the silver screen.

And monumental triumphs of film history.

Such pictures like Ocean's Eleven,
Sergeant's Three, Robin and the Seven

And every picture, Sammy had the same
line. Frank, can I get you a drink?

Sammy is really upset. He ran out of
minorities to represent.

And he wants to be Puerto Rican. He
said, would I please make him Puerto

I said, be my pleasure. But you've got
to trade in your Stutz Bearcat.

For a 64 Chevy with pom -poms on the
antenna, saints in the dashboard, and a

little dog in the back window with his
head going up.

Yeah, it was hard picking up girls.

But I went to Sammy. I said, Sammy,
look, man, I'm in Hollywood, and I have

women, man. I want you to fix it up for
me. Would you please do it? And he said,

all right, Freddie, tonight I'm going to
fix you up with a star.

I said, really?

And that night at 7 p .m., the limousine
rolled up, and I'm in my tuxedo

waiting.

And the door opens and there was the
star.

Mom's me, please.

She said to me, she said, honey, you can
keep them black guys because they's all

chicken. What I need me is a hot Puerto
Rican.

As they say in Puerto Rican, I gonna
read them to you.

Here's one from your rabbi. Dear Sammy,
it is now five years since you became

Jewish.

Come in next Tuesday for a booster shot.

Here's one I think you're going to be
very proud of. Dear Sammy Davis, we'd

you to pose.

For a nude centerfold in our magazine,
sign the National Geographic.

When we asked Sammy who he'd like to
have on the dais tonight, he asked for

two favorites, Hope and Crosby.

Unfortunately, Hope Lang couldn't make
it, but we do have Norm Crosby.

Sammy Davis has been a source of
insulation.

People of all faiths, creeds, and
ethical backgrounds that exist hither

yon, pro and con, mothers and fathers,
adults, adultuses, all people.

Sammy has done more to combat artificial
discrimination and desecration

than Tiny Tim has done for the
illegitimate theater.

Negro heritage, he is deeply involved
with his Hebrew faith.

Sammy is the only man I know who eats
soul food with sour cream,

who sips gin from a saucer,

and who fully understands the timeless
struggle for equality

that has prevailed since the ancient
Trojans attacked the Phoenicians and the

lesbians and ruined them.

in his humble beginnings.

He started himself as a trio.

And to this day, he always seeks
insulation from those three wise men, me

you Shaq, and to bed we go.

Here's a dear friend of Sammy's.

Singer Dionne Warwick. Like many young
people, Dionne grew up listening to

Sammy's albums. And when she was 18, she
looked at her mother and said, Turn it

off, I'll be good.

Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely and
talented and beautiful Miss Dionne.

thrilled to be here to honor not only a
great star, but someone I once dated.

And that's no joke. I really did date
Sammy Davis Jr.

We had a lot in common. I started
singing gospel at the age of six, and he

started breaking the commandments at the
age of seven.

I'll say this to Sammy. He always knew
how to make a woman feel tall.

He just stood by her side.

He sure is.

I still don't know why Sammy went out
with me in those days. I just wasn't his

type. I wasn't sexy.

I wasn't beautiful.

I wasn't white.

Sammy spent the first hour telling me
all about his book, Yes, I Can.

And I spent the rest of the evening
telling him, No, you can't.

And here he is at an age when his wife
out to be says, I wish he could.

People think of Joey Bishop as just a
replacement for Johnny Carson. Now

a lot of... That's... That's not true.
We in show business know better.

We don't think of him at all.

Mr.

Joey Bishop.

your roast, Dean. I really do.

It's fantastic.

You get good laughs.

You come out drunk, you breathe on the
audience, and they'll laugh at anything.

I go back with Sammy 25 years.

Remember when you got your first $100
,000, you bought a Rolls Royce.

Then you bought something for your
father, a chauffeur's cap.

on something I'm sure they're not
familiar with, and I know you'll attest

this. I, and I alone, was responsible
for Sammy Davis' conversion to Judaism.

He wanted me to turn color. I said, go
to hell.

I got a bad back. I can't march.

month, we were down south doing a
benefit together.

We got in your bus, and I said to you,
you'll have to sit to the rear of the

bus. Sammy says, I'm Jewish. And I says,
get off.

Just want to reminisce with you while
they're honoring you.

Remember the place down there for your
conversion?

You were going to synagogue, you didn't
want to go alone, and you called me for

Joey. Please.

I've never been to synagogue in my life.
This is my first time as a Jew. Can we

go together? I said, what time, Sam? You
said, 7 .30. I said, I can't make it. 7

.30, Sam, but I'll meet you in synagogue
at 8 o 'clock.

And you said, I'll be sitting in the
third row.

Like, if he didn't tell me where he's
sitting in synagogue, I ain't gonna find

him.

So, for heaven's sake, throw a white
skullcap so I'll spot you.

He was never so embarrassed in my life.

His first time in synagogue, the rabbi
walked out. Sammy jumped up and

here come the judge.

when you can't beat him, you might as
well join him. And he went and became a

Jew.

Now that he can live high on the hog,
the rabbi won't let him eat a pork chop.

They say that the truest way in which
you could reveal a man's personality and

character is the manner in which he
relates to his children.

So I asked Sammy, I said, Sammy, are you
a good father?

For example, on holidays, like, say, for
christmas do you play santa claus for

your kids he said the kids too hip for
that i see when your kids don't dig

claus he said they don't believe no
white man is gonna ride

is a mirth maker, and Sammy is a soul of
loveliness.

And there they were on the beach. Sammy
was riding the water skis, and Don in

the hot sun was sweating in his boat,
pulling Sammy Davis along.

I had to yell at him.

I said, Hey, Rick!

The hotel always makes me laugh.

The adorable Miss Phyllis Dillard.

It's so nice to be here at the MGM Grand
Hotel, but I wish they hadn't put me in

room 13.

13 is very unlucky for me.

My bust size.

and I wasted the whole afternoon.

I took a beauty nap.

Sammy, you know, you really are the
total performer.

Last night I saw your act at a club
downtown, down the strip, and you're

too much.

That audience was moved from laughter to
the brink of tears.

While you were on, they doubled the
minimum.

up from the ghetto to become a star, and
he has everything that goes with it. He

wears custom -made clothes, expensive
jewelry, drives two foreign cars.

Sammy has earned his success.

He just hasn't paid for it.

in Mississippi he told the bus driver
that he wanted to be on the front of the

bus so the driver tied him to the bumper

this man believes in

equal opportunity Sammy has a white
gardener a white maid and a white

and he's also got a black secretary to
make sure they don't steal

you can make your life even more
meaningful.

Go into politics.

Nobody understands the need of blacks,
nor do you do.

Sammy, I want you in the White House.
Then I want you to replace Kissinger

Cary Grant.

And every time you send Cary Grant
abroad, be sure it's me.

And whatever office you run for, I'll be
your running mate. You know, they say

that politics makes strange bedfellows.

And we'd be about as strange as you
could get.

Thank you, sweetheart.

It's all right with me.

bit of Cary Grant, that's all.

I need a sweetheart.

You may ask, what is Jan Murray doing on
a roast for Sammy Davis?

As little as possible, we all know.

Would you please welcome Mr.

Jan Murray.

this whole night, and I want to tell you
something. This whole evening is a big

farce to me. Everyone's standing up here
and they're talking about Sammy Davis

Jr. is this, Sammy Davis Jr. is that,
and there is no Sammy Davis Jr.

This man is a composite of everybody and
everything he's ever seen in his life.

Remember years ago when he came back
from England?

Suddenly he was Sir Samuel of Watts.

How long do you think Sammy was in
England? 36 hours.

He was at the airport trying to get his
jewelry past a metal detector.

Who do you think he became this week?
I'll tell you, you'll never believe

You know, as you all know, this man is
now starring across the street in one of

the major hotels in the world. And I
went to see his show last night. Now,

closing number, you'll never believe the
gall, the temerity, the audacity that

Sammy Davis has to walk out on the stage
with a slouched hat, a finger in his

raincoat. A cigarette in his mouth, and
he sang my way.

What was he doing?

Frank Sinatra. I went backstage after
the show. I said, Sammy, how can you do

that song? That's Frank's song. It was
written for him. It's his life.

Sammy said, that's a lie. That's my
song. It was written for me. It's my

All right?

Folks, I went out and got a copy of the
song. Here it is, My Way.

Let's see if this is Sammy's life. All
right?

Here's the exact lyric. All right?

And now the end is near.

So far, you're right, Sammy.

Saw your act last night. Your voice is
flatter than your nose.

And now we go back to the song. And so I
face the final curtain. That part is

also true, Sammy.

So now if you ever find out you're doing
this song, it'll be curtains.

You make one call, you wake up tomorrow
morning with the head of a watermelon on

your bed.

life that's full. I've traveled each and
every highway. Now, that part, I admit,

that is Sammy's life. He did travel each
and every highway, but on the back of

the bus.

You know, to this day, Fred McMurray
doesn't know who stole his wallet.

You know, Sammy, the last time you had
cash in your hand is when you bought

freedom from Scarlett O 'Hara.

Now I'd like you to meet the magnificent
impressionist, the man of a thousand

faces and a thousand voices.

He is beautiful, Mr.

Frank Gorshin.

Hey.

Nice to be here tonight to roast Mr.

Sammy Davis Jr.

The world's only dancing fudgicle.

Everybody knows that you're a great
actor, you're a great singer, you're a

dancer. I love everything you do. I love
to watch you show up.

But you do your impressions all wrong,
Sammy.

Well, when you do Richard Burton, if I
were Richard Burton, I'd really be

Upset!

I've been humiliated.

Degraded. Fully besmirched by this...
This... Brillo pad with legs.

I do my best.

I say, is this the dagger I see before
me? The handle toward my hand?

I don't say.

George C. Scott from his great Oscar
-refusing role of General Patton.

If the battle gets tough, we find
ourselves in the miserable position of

to retreat.

Well, I want you to remember these few
simple words.

Teach, do your...

this man -tan Moishe Dayan.

My big scene with Deborah Carr from Hero
Tenet.

He did it like this.

You'll have to go back to your husband.

I found myself another woman I love very
much.

Who is she?

Who is she?

Who is she?

Did the name Ruby Petonia mean anything
to you?

that I get to introduce someone who's in
worse shape than I am.

Here's the distinguished chairman of the
Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce, Mr.

Buster Fuchs.

standing here and I'd rather imagine
you're surprised that I am.

The last time you and I were side by
side somebody stepped on my tongue.

Alien jump. Alien jump. Folks.

G. Martin has a, without a doubt, the
warmest heart in show business.

And you would, too, if you drank Sterno.

Ask me to

tell you

something.

We don't mind if you have parties in
your room with a lot of scantily dressed

girls running around, but please have a
little consideration for your neighbors

and also for me.

Sam, please cover up your keyhole.

On behalf of the citizens... On

behalf

of the citizens... On behalf of the
citizens... On behalf of the citizens...

behalf of the citizens...

Superstars, Sandy Duncan Jr.

Sandy Duncan.

Where would Las Vegas be without you,
Slammy? Slammy?

you think you are.

Whenever you play Las Vegas, many people
benefit financially.

And may I add a finer bunch of girls you
couldn't ask for.

The excitement you create in an audience
is incredible.

There they sit, spellbound, wondering if
someone in your entourage is

ransacking their room.

Dancing for pennies to that magnificent
moment when Frank Sinatra phoned down to

the lobby and said, Send the colored kid
up to dance while I shave.

You know, Sammy Davis is always singing,
what kind of fool am I? I'll tell you

what kind of fool Sammy is. He asked me
to invite Don Rickles here tonight.

Sammy, you asked for him, and you got
him. Ladies and

gentlemen, here's the man whose sense of
humor is as twisted as Carl Malden's

nose.

Sammy, you people rust.

It's a wonderful treat to be able to,
this wonderful black man, Sam, I kid

we know each other a lot of years,
really. And I love the black people. We

you people, I swear, because no Jew's
going to make up a train.

My kid, Sammy, you're a black man. I
took a guess.

into a bucket of M &M's, I'll tell you.

To you, my good friend, Freddie French,
who's your buddy, and we need the Puerto

Rican people, I quote the grades, the
words of a great Puerto Rican, Manuel

Gertezas, who said to me in New York, do
you want more coffee?

Look at this wonderful day.

Frank Borsh in his whole life as Burt
Lancaster.

Joey Bishop, who passed away and wasn't
told about it.

Will Chamberlain, I say from the bottom
of my heart, you can move into my

neighborhood any time you want.

Black giant.

Can you imagine this guy?

Standing in front of the keys.

I kid you, Wilton, why?

Because you could hurt me.

You better know this is too fast for
you, Dean. I'll make you feel at home.

Youngstown, Ohio, right?

What's that town you come from?

Steubenville. Why, that's better.

kid, but now, Milton, I say this from my
heart.

Show business in your life.

Thyself be thee with your new book.

Love thee and know thyself, Milton.

He's old. He understands.

I have based my whole humor on laughing
at bigotry. I laugh at Wilks Haven. Ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha. But if you don't laugh
back, it's not funny.

I laugh at the blacks, the whites, the
purples.

Mostly the blacks.

and who said after the Muhammad Ali
fight, was I down?

Let me taste that, Sam.

To the black people, remember the words
of a great Negro, Johnson Jones, who

said in Biloxi, Mississippi on a
Saturday night, if the...

That's right.

Look who became the priest.

Now you're Catholic and I'm a Jew and
Sammy, you're black.

I'm sorry.

Remember the words of a great Negro. I
say that honestly.

All peoples are alike. We are all
working. You live in my neighborhood. I

in yours. Right, Sam? Right.

Are you crazy?

It doesn't matter.

It's what's in your heart. Right, Sam?

Be proud.

Brothers, we kiss, we hug.

Any black on my lips?

One time he met his wife, Altaviz.

She was a struggling young dancer in his
nightclub act.

Altaviz, Altaviz, could you marry
someone with a simple name like Zephyr?

Ladies and gentlemen, here's a surprise
for our man of the hour. I'd like to

bring on Sam Lee, lovely wife.

I've heard almost every word that you
people on the day have said about my old

man.

And all I can say is, right on.

kid, Sammy, but I'll have you know that
he's personally created jobs for a lot

of people nobody else would hire. His
tailors.

Ladies and gentlemen, now's the moment
that I wait for every night.

I'd like to present my numero uno.

My Mr. Wonderful.

My husband.

Thank you.

I would first of all like to thank a man
that I love very, very much for giving

me this honor.

Mr. Dean Martin.

One of the great joys of being 45 years
in this business.

is to have people who love you make fun
of you.

That is one of the great joys.

Because the day they don't make fun of
you, that means they don't give a damn

about you. I thank you.

That's it. Thank you very much.