All language subtitles for Dean Martin Leo Durocher (1973)

The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast, coming
to you from the MGM Grand Hotel in the

entertainment capital of the world, Las
Vegas, Nevada.

Ladies and gentlemen, from the beautiful
Siegfeld Room, tonight's star -studded

roast has brought together some of the
world's greatest entertainers.

They've come from all over the world to
be here tonight, here in Las Vegas, in

person.

Your Roastmaster, Dean Martin.

And tonight's very special man of the
week,

Neil DeRosa.

Okay there, little boy.

Well, what a thrill it is to have in our
presence this evening.

A man who has contributed so much to
baseball.

A man who is loved by everybody, but
enough about Moriwells.

Let's talk about Leo DeRocher.

This is the kind of evening that brings
happiness to so many people, especially

those that didn't show up.

Looking at this audience tonight, Leo
realizes you can't buy friends.

All these people tonight are not bought.

They're rented.

Although Leo's retired, he'll remain a
legend in baseball. He's done more good

for baseball players than Mamie Van
Doren.

Baseball was the only thing Leo ever
knew. As a matter of fact, Leo's father

a baseball player.

Leo was his first heir.

Leo started his career as a shortstop
for the New York Yankees in 1925, and

very first year he set a record that has
never been broken.

Not once did he cut himself during a
shaving commercial.

In 1940, he was named manager of the
Brooklyn Ball Club. It was Leo who

real togetherness to the Dodgers.

Sometimes you'd find three base runners
on second base.

I... I wouldn't say Leo's.

Well, Leo did a bad job down in Houston,
but the Astro fans have a new slogan.

Remember the Alamo and forget Leo.

Nice day it looks like, the Hall of Fame
of the sports world. So let's kick off

with the great Murray Wills.

Maury's the number one base runner in
history.

Statistics show that he's been thrown
out at home four times, three times by

wife.

Ladies and gentlemen, the candidate for
the Baseball Hall of Fame, Mr. Maury

Wells.

Thank you, Dean.

Not you, Dizzy.

I'm doing the NBC baseball games of the
week now, partner.

It's a pleasure to be here tonight to
honor Leo DeRocha, a man who makes

Cosell look like an introvert.

You know, people oftentimes accuse Leo
of being cruel and cold -hearted.

But let me tell you a little story that
I think illustrates the warmth of this

man.

I was just a young player with the
Dodgers at the time, and we were on the

down south.

And one night, Leo decided to take...

Some of the guys asked for dinner.

When we arrived at the restaurant, we
were informed that blacks were not

But Leo took care of that right away.

Leo turned to me, and I'll never forget
his words.

He said, boy, you wait out in the car,
and we'll bring your doggie back when

we're through.

No, of course, I'm only kidding.

When Leo was manager, There were no
prejudices on his ball club.

Leo treated blacks and whites the same,
miserably.

Leo was a shortstop just like me. We
played the same position. When I was a

he was really my idol.

And unlike a lot of players today,
believe me, Leo was a rough, tumble ball

player. I remember one time Leo ran home
and the umpire didn't like the way he

slid into the plate.

It was his upper.

Scott, I can say one thing honestly,
though. Leo has, except for a few things

here and there, he's always been kind to
his players.

Take Willie Mason, for instance.

Leo's always treated Willie like a son.

In fact, the paternity suit proved it.

Is Leo laughing or is he coming up here?

But I'd like to go on record as saying,
in closing, Leo, that I honestly feel

that in baseball, You're the greatest
manager in the history of the game. And

baseball and I owe you a lot.

Good

morning.

Now, here's the guy who's responsible
for making tennis so popular, Mr. Bobby

Riggs. There's been a story on Bobby in
every magazine recently.

And he made the cover of Time.

And years ago, life gave him a big
spread.

At his age, life has a way of doing
that.

Ladies and gentlemen, the king of
women's tennis, Mr. Bobby Ray.

Thank you.

Normally, I don't do functions like
this.

But yesterday I received this letter
from Leo DeRocha.

Leo doesn't know I'm going to read this,
but I thought it would shed some kind

of light on the man that you're honoring
tonight.

Here goes for the letter.

Dear Bobby, you and I have been friends
for a long time, and I hate to ask a

favor of you, but I'm desperate.

The Dean Martin Show is roasting me as
their man of the week.

And you've got to bail me out.

I'm only doing it because I need the
money after betting on you.

I just received a list of the people on
the dais. And you wouldn't believe who

they stuck me with. Now get this.

Jack Carter.

I didn't know that guy was still alive.

So you can see I really need you, Bobby.

Not that you'll add any class to the
evening.

But you're such a loser.

You'll make all the other guys look
better by comparison.

So here I am, Leo.

Well, here is truly a legend in
baseball, Mr. Dizzy Dean.

Dizzy was one of Leo's teammates with
the old St.

Louis Cardinals Gas House Gang.

And he was one of baseball's greatest
pitchers.

Not only could he pitch a fastball, but
he could pitch a ball so slow that the

players could autograph it before it
reached the plate.

Ladies and gentlemen, a big name in
baseball's hall of fame, Mr.

Dizzy Dean.

Thank you, Dean.

Thank you very much. Boy, the way you
put that booze away, I bet I'm not the

only dean who's dizzy around here
tonight.

I remember his first game with the
Cards.

Leo was playing shortstop.

And the runner was caught between second
and third.

The third baseman threw Leo the ball and
yelled, tag him, tag him.

Leo yelled back, why?

I'm not it.

Leo's really a great... Leo really has a
great arm, though. There's no question

about that.

I don't know how many times I've seen
him throw the ball into the right field

stands.

But nobody cared about Leo's feeling
because he really knew how to hit the

He was a switch hitter.

And in his very first year, he hit 400.

200 right -handed and 200 left -handed.

Leo was a real clutch player.

In fact, he was arrested three times in
the subway for it.

He was absolutely fearless at the plate.

Once Carl Hubble threw a fastball that
bounced right off of Leo's head. And Leo

just stood there and smiled.

Naturally, it was the furthest he'd hit
the ball all season.

Did you know that it was because of Leo
DeRosa that they had to adopt the

infield fly ball?

Whenever an infielder was trying to
catch the ball Leo hit, Leo would yell

Hey, buddy, your fly is open.

But the thing I'll always remember most
about Leo was his competitive spirit.

One time when he was at shortstop, there
was a high bouncing ball.

And I swear Leo leaped eight feet in the
air.

And if I told you where the ball hit
him, you'd know why.

Ladies

and

gentlemen, a former major league ball
player and now a great actor, Mr. Chuck

Connors.

Oh, thank you, Dean.

It's a pleasure to be here again at the
end of the lineup with all the bad

jokes.

Anyway, as some of you may or may not
know and probably don't know, I was with

the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1949.

Now, this is not funny, lady. This is
the truth.

I was a few years after Leo left.

See, I'm a lot younger than he is.

But the players on the team who were
still there remembered Leo, and they

always talking about you, Leo.

Well, the most interesting thing they
told me about Leo DeRocha was the unique

system of signals he used when he was
coaching third base.

I'm going to see if I can remember some.

This one means hit away.

This one means take the pitch.

This one means, oh, I'm sorry, I ate
that whole piece.

This means, let's see, bunt.

This means hit away again.

And this means, ooh.

17 less hairs than yesterday morning.

None today.

Uh, let's see now.

This means, uh, slide.

This means, uh, head for home.

And, uh, this means, uh, hey, your
zipper's open!

Finally, this one thing that Leo
originated that's being used by every

third base in Major League Baseball
today is this. Watch.

And it means don't get this damn inning
over with. I've got to go to the John.

Ladies and gentlemen, a man who made
history with the Detroit Lions, Mr. Alex

Carr.

If I have a reputation for anything
outside of my obvious physical charms

my overpowering sex appeal and my
intelligence,

it's for being totally candid.

If I were to tell you that I'm not too
thrilled about being asked to speak on

behalf of Leo DeRocha tonight, that
would be a little short of the truth.

Matter of fact, I'm sick about it.

But I only had two other offers this
week.

One to speak at a Republican rally.

And the other to appear in a movie.

They're doing a retake of The Naked and
the Dead.

And they want me to play both parts.

Very difficult to say something nice
about Leo and maintain my own impeccable

reputation for honesty, Leo.

Let's face it, Leo, it's hard to
compliment you.

You busted out in Chicago, busted out in
Houston.

You want to talk about the records as a
player, Leo? How about the records as

you had as a player? He played in major
leagues from 1925 to 1945.

That's 10 years.

Kind batting average of 247.

Hell, I played it that way, Leo.

You heard of the Ted Williams shift?
Well, they had one for Leo.

The pitcher played in.

I like that joke regardless if anyone
else does.

Leo, you were small.

But you were slow.

Leo into a race against a tree, you'd
have to bet odds on the tree.

Especially after a dog race.

We would play with the old gas house
gang, but I'll tell you, they could do

everything with the baseball.

Right, Leo?

Except autograph it.

A lot have been said and written about
Leo's reported run -ins with the

and you know, I'm from Chicago, I
understand these things.

Throughout my great career, I've always
believed in showing the proper respect

for coaches, Leo. I mean, I can't
understand, you know, when they say,

hang him in effigy.

Is that the right word?

I mean, if you're going to have a
hanging, Leo, let's have a hanging.

I thought probably a lot of these
reports were blown out of proportion

players not getting along with you.
Excuse me.

So I researched the issue thoroughly,
and just let me say that...

This to you, Leo, and I mean this in
honest sincerity, face -to -face, man

-man.

No matter how many nasty things have
been said about you, Leo, by writers and

broadcasters, players and owners,
vending machine operators,

job supporter manufacturers,

and fans and umpires in vending, I said
that.

I'd like to say this to you, Leo, in all
sincerity.

You could count your real enemies on the
fingers of the Mormon Tabernacle

Choir.

Well, a lot of your friends and admirers
couldn't be here tonight, but they sent

a load of telegrams, and I'd like to
read a few of them right now here.

The first one reads... Dear Leo, I
understand you once said that nice guys

finish last.

I couldn't agree more.

Signed, Mae West.

Dear Mr.

DeRocher, we wish to thank you for
advertising our product every time you

disagree with an umpire. Signed, the
Acme Natural Fertilizing Company.

needs no introduction. What he needs is
an act.

Ladies and gentlemen, a man who's done
for comedy what Charlie Finley's done

baseball, Mr. Jack Carter.

Thank you. And Alex, that was a great
speech.

We'll invite you again when Nixon gives
a dinner for Judge Sirica.

I am so choked up to be here.

What a night between Leo DeRucia and
Dean Martin.

Here they are, lippy and nippy.

Incidentally, you know, Dean just willed
his body to science, but I got a

feeling that the Gallo brothers will get
it first.

I'm so choked up, all of my idols are
here. Look at these athletes. There's

and Chuck Connors and Maury Wills.

I haven't seen such great bodies since I
won Truman Capote on the dating game.

And I loved baseball. I followed it all
my life. As a kid in Brooklyn, the

Dodgers, the Giants, the Yankees. I
remember when they had white

And, uh... And Leo's a champion of the
black cause. He brought a lot of Negroes

into baseball, and it wasn't easy.

First time he put Maury Wills in the
outfield, he kept rolling up the grass

smoking it.

That's why they put him in the infield.
He couldn't hold on to a fly if his

zipper was caught.

More he will. Mr. Holdout. Every year,
I'm holding out, I'm holding out.

He could hold out longer than Doris Day
would in a movie.

And I didn't get to mention my boy,
Chucky Connors. The big, tall one. The

couple, all by himself.

I just made that up.

Chuck Connors. There he is. A dodger.
Former dodger. Tax and draft.

And my man, Dean, Dizzy Dean, I love
him.

Started up again 20 years with the old
Cardinals, and it ain't easy running

around the baseball field in those long
robes, I'll tell you.

Remember that one?

I loved him. And then he became a
sportscaster.

When I was a kid, turned on just to hear
Dizzy going, Now where I'm about to

know if I'm on.

Yeah, it's love in the third base of the
ball. Hit a ball and it beats you down

the long, down ball side.

Yeah, I'm about to know if I'm on. Never
gonna know if I'm on.

at the time. I thought we were captured,
you know?

He's a white Negro, I tell you that.

Bobby Riggs laughed, you idiot. I laugh
when you play.

We're here to talk about my man, Leo,
Leo the Lip.

Leo DeRocho, a man who's been maligned.

Punch, beat, and spit out, and rightly
so.

Two words describe this man's life.
Assault and battery.

All this loud -mouthing. He came back
from Texas. He was mad.

He was in a polar lounge at the Beverly
Hills Hotel. Boy, it's good to be back

in Beverly Hills. I hate that crummy
Texas and that Houston.

Ain't nothing there but football heroes
and hookers.

Big guy grabbed him. Listen, buddy boy,
my wife comes from Texas. Leo said, oh,

really? What position does she play?

In final closing, I'd like to repeat the
words of Howard Cosell, a great

sportcaster. A couple of weeks ago at a
big sports writer's dinner, he said this

about Leo.

Ladies and gentlemen, our subject de
Rocha, a maudlin relic of a bygone era,

a living legend.

When giants trod the earth and dodgers
cut them down, the maniacal masochistic

de Rocha played the game.

He could go to his left, he could go to
his right, but he never went to his

pocket.

As a leader of men, one word describes a
man who could be senile.

But that's Geroncho, a big talker and no
batting average.

My wife's got more runs than a
pantyhose.

But seriously, I've said some horrendous
things about Leo, but he is a living

monument to baseball.

And you all know what pigeons do to
monuments.

Oh, that was beautiful.

He imitated you real good.

I'd love to listen. Never could
understand you, but I love you.

And now, Leo, we are pleased to have
with us one of the most respected

in the National League.

He worked behind the plate in many of
the games your teams played.

Ladies and gentlemen, would you all
please welcome Mr. Foster Brooke.

Thank you very much, Dune. Dune, Dune.
Thank you. Thank you, Dean.

Friends, it is indeed a pleasure for me
to be here tonight to honor the

one and only Leo de Cockroach.

What's that?

What's that?

De Rocher?

Well, I knew it sounds like a little
bugger.

It's also a real thrill for me to be
here on the same day.

Be here on the same day.

Speakers platform.

I will.

Well, you'll have to excuse me because
all those Puerto Rican ballplayers look

the same.

a truly fine baseball manager.

Probably one of the three or four
hundred best of all time.

Leo doesn't scare me once when Sandy
Cove... Sandy... Sandy Cove... Well,

Sandy Cove was pitching against this
team.

Leo came running out of the dugout and
said, grease ball, grease ball.

I told him, don't be ridiculous. Sandy
is Jewish.

And he's a man of very diverse
interests.

He's especially interested in genealogy.

The study of people's...

people's family trees.

Until I first met Leo, I always thought
I was a son of a waitress.

Because as Leo well knows, there's one
time Cardinal Rule in baseball.

And I'm like, I'm playing umpire.

Never changes his call.

Unless there's a broad in it for her.

He always puts me away.

Ladies and gentlemen, nice guys don't
always finish last.

because our man of the week is right up
on top, one of the great managers of all

baseball, Mr. Leo Derosier.

This

evening's

been about as exciting as watching
Marcus Welby sidestep a bedpan.

I'd like to correct one impression you
may have gotten tonight.

I am retired, not deceased.

As a matter of fact, they wanted me to
manage the Oakland A's next year.

But I hired a lawyer, and I beat the
rap.

However, it's nice being here, and it's
nice to see a few people on the dais who

aren't in show business.

Maury Wills, Dizzy Dean, Jack Carter.

I don't know whether many of you are
aware of this, but Chuck Connors, who is

now an actor, used to be a big league
ball player.

And he's just as good an actor as he was
a ball player.

He struck out in both.

Chuck was with the Dodgers for a short
time, and he did for baseball what he

for TV.

He never had a hit.

And it's nice to see more he wills.

Well, I... First time I met Maury, he
was just a kid hanging around the ghetto

in the playground.

So I put a bat in his hand. I said, do
you know what this is for?

He said, yes, sir.

And he hit me over the head and stole my
wallet.

And it's really up to it, having my old
buddy Dizzy Dean with us. Baseball fans

will never forget him.

Dizzy couldn't hit, but he sure could
throw it.

And I'm glad that Alex Carr showed
tonight.

One of the greatest defensive tackles
football has ever known.

He started out as an offensive tackle.

Then he learned about deodorant pads.

And what can I say about Dean?

You don't run into guys like Dean too
often.

You generally trip over.

In conclusion, I'd just like to say I've
enjoyed every minute I ever spent in

baseball.

Baseball is truly the great American
pastime.

Now all we got to do is convince Frank
Sinatra.

I want to thank all my wonderful guests
for being with us tonight and my special

thanks to Leo DeRocher.

All of us here tonight chipped in and
laid a new car on Leo.

It took him three hours to get out from
under it.

Good night, everybody.

Good night.

Walmart. Hot chocolate. Be home.

Bye.