All language subtitles for Dead Ringers 1988 Directors Cut 1080p BluRay x264-OFT

(haunting music)

You've heard about sex?

Sure, I have.

Well I've discovered
why sex is.

You have?

Fantastic.

It's because humans
don't live underwater.

I don't get it.

Well, fish don't need sex
because they just lay the eggs

and fertilize them in the water.

Humans can't do that 'cause
they don't live in the water.

They have to
internalize the water,

therefore we have sex.

So you mean humans
wouldn't have sex

if they lived in the water?

Well they'd have
a kind of sex.

But the kind
where you wouldn't have

to touch each other.

I like that idea.

Have you heard of scuba diving?

It's just new.

Self Contained Underwater
Breathing Apparatus.

Exactly.

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

Yeah.
You ask her.

Rafaela.

Will you have sex with
us in our bathtub?

It's an experiment.

Are you kidding?

Fuck off, you freaks.

I'm telling my father
you talk dirty.

Besides I know for a fact you
don't even know what fuck is.

They're so different from us.

And all because we
don't live underwater.

The morculum is
working superbly.

Shall I insert
the manticulator?

Please.

What's the diagnosis?

Intra ovular surgery.

(mumbling)

(clock bell chiming)

Where did you get
that instrument?

We had it made for us.

Really?

Might be fine for a
cadaver but it won't work

with a living patient,
I can tell you that.

(instrument clangs)

To our fabulous twins, who
have as mere undergraduates

already brought us glory.

(cheering)

And here it is.

In solid gold, well,
solid gold plate, that is.

(laughter)

The Mantle retractor,
which is now the standard

of the industry.

Here's to a brilliant future.

(cheers and applause)

Here it is.

That's wonderful.

Yeah.

They got the pivot
pin in backwards.

Bev, you should
have been there.

I was.

Well, are all the
necessary parts there, doc?

Yes, they are.

Though there are a couple of
extra ones that shouldn't be.

That's funny.

Uh, no.

I wasn't joking.

Would you excuse me a minute?

I'll be right back.

(door closes)

Ellie.

I want you to look at
this woman before you go.

I can't Bev, I'm late already.

If I fuck up with
the chairman's wife,

we don't get our grant.

She's a trifurcate.

I've never seen
anything like it.

Yeah, I'll be down in
a minute, Dr. Mantle.

Keep the car waiting would you?

Thanks.

Is this Claire Niveau?

Yeah.

The Claire Niveau?

Yeah.

Ooh.

What's she doing here?

She's doing a miniseries.

She's got three
agents and a bodyguard

in the waiting room.

And her life is
empty without children?

How did you know?

Oh come on Bev,
everyone knows that.

Don't you ever read
The National Enquirer?

Star's life empty
without children.

Well I hope The National
Enquirer also explained

how we can make her fertile
'cause I don't think I can.

I will have to
see what I can do.

Ellie.

What about dinner with
the chairman's wife?

I guess la bella
contessa will have to wait.

Right.

Let's take another look.

Yes.

That's fantastic.

I've never had
anybody say that

about the inside
of my body before.

Surely you've heard
of inner beauty?

I've often thought there
should be beauty contests

for the insides of bodies.

You know, best spleen.

Most perfectly
developed kidneys.

Why don't we have standards
of beauty for the entire

human body?

Inside and out?

I have a feeling you do.

So I'll tell him to fuck
off, pardon my French.

Don't tell him to fuck off.

I need the work.

This miniseries is
paying absolute peanuts.

You don't need
to be humiliated.

I've decided I want
to be humiliated.

Tell me about my uterus.

Well, it has three doorways.

Three cervixes leading into
three separate compartments

in your uterus, that
is fabulously rare.

Do you have trouble
with your periods?

Listen, I'm gonna be late
for the Axelrod meeting.

You'll be okay?

Goodbye Leo, remember
I need the humiliation

as well as the money.

I almost never have periods.

Once or twice a year, not
very enthusiastic ones.

Could I have triplets
do you think?

One in each compartment?

No, doesn't work like that.

Really?

How does it work?

How did it go with
Ia bella contessa?

Did we get our grant?

You were great.

Seductive and charming as usual.

And I think you've
got your grant.

Hey, wait a minute.

What's this I hear?

It's for us, not just for me.

It's for Mantle, Inc.

Yes, yes.

I know.

Did she catch on?

Ah, contessa.

You're looking so, I don't
know, Catherine De Neuve.

And how is Marcello?

Due cappuccini per
favore and quickly.

The countess is
a tigress until she's got

her caffeine in the morning.

Hey, come on,
I'm not that bad.

You're a little bit
smoother in real life.

And the movie star, how is she?

She's expecting me
for lunch tomorrow.

So you're gonna find
out for yourself.

Oh no.

Oh, yes.

It's all set up.

The production's rented
her this little apartment

in Rosedale.

She will just be
getting out of bed.

All cozy and warm.

Ellie, the clinic's
booked to the hilt.

We've gotta pay
the rent, you know.

I'll take your patients.

Oh yes.

I want you to go.

Bev, you've got to
try the movie star.

She's unbelievable.

Don't worry, you'll be alright.

Just do me.

(buzzes)

(buzzes)

What did you do
to me last night?

I'm still vibrating all over.

I learnt it from books.

I wish more men
would read those books.

Drink?

No, thanks.

Well doc.

What's the prognosis?

Can I have a baby or can't I?

You're asking me that now?

I-I mean, here?

You said the results
would be back today.

There's no chance that you'll
be able to bear children.

I'm not surprised.

You must have
been tested before.

They said I wouldn't have
an easy time getting pregnant,

but I've been taking
hormone injections,

and I have been
extremely promiscuous.

I've never used contraceptive
devices, I've never even

thought contraceptive thoughts.

There are other reasons
for not sleeping with just...

anybody.

That's true, you know.

I never thought of that.

Oh, of course you had a
chance to check me out

thoroughly...

before you jumped on me.

Are you that careful?

Do you only have affairs
with your own patients?

No, I was concerned.

Am I bad?

Is that it?

You gonna spank me, doc?

It hadn't occurred to me.

I've been bad.

And I need to be punished.

I need to be punished.

(sobbing)

Danuta.

Danuta.

(shouts)
Danuta!

Let's put some cold
water on your face,

you'll feel much better.
There we go.

Here we go.

Ellie.

What happened?

Oh thank God you're back, Bev.

I'm just no good with
the serious ones.

Why are you back?

I'm just no good with
the frivolous ones.

(laughing)

All she wanted was a little
slap on the ass, Bev.

Yeah?

Yeah well.

I began to wonder what
the fuck my brother

had got us into behind my back.

She's an actress
Bev, she's a flake.

Plays games all the time.

You never know
who she really is.

Yeah.

I can see that.

You can?

Yeah.

So when are you
gonna see her again?

She's called the clinic
five times already.

I don't know.

Perhaps you better go.

Wait a minute.

This is serious.

No, it's not.

Yes, it is.

If we didn't share women,
you'd still be a virgin.

No.

You'd never get
laid on your own.

Well I don't get out much.

Listen.

The beauty of our business
is you don't have to get out

to meet beautiful women.

I can't do that.

It's not--

Ethical?

No.

It's not safe.

Well, if you don't
go and see her.

What?

I will.

And I'll tell her I'm you.

And I'll do terrible
things to her.

What sort of terrible things?

(moaning)

Doctor, you've cured me.

(shushing)

- What's the matter?
- I don't know.

What's the matter?

I'll never get pregnant.

I'll never have children.

When I'm dead,

I'll just be damned.

I will have really never
have been a woman at all,

just a girl.

A little girl.

You could always adopt a baby.

It wouldn't be a same, it
wouldn't be part of my body.

Yes, that's true.

Don't tell, please don't tell.

Anybody about me,
please don't tell.

I'm so vulnerable.

I'm slashed open.

Who would I tell? Eh?

Who would I tell?

And with that seal of approval

our fifth bubbly
season gets underway.

(70s jingle playing)

(door opens)
Bigger and bolder than

Hey, hey, hey.

It's the swinger.

Yeah, hi.

So?

Uh, so it was nice.

She's a little crazy but sweet.

Tell me all about it.

Later.

No now!

You might forget something
later, some yummy detail.

I don't want to
tell you about it.

You don't what?

I want to keep it.

For myself.

Listen.

You haven't had any experience
until I've had it too.

You haven't fucked Claire Niveau
until you tell me about it.

Then I haven't
fucked Claire Niveau.

There's no point to
this discussion, Arlene.

There is a point.

There definitely is a point.

You started with me and now
you won't carry through.

And we have a relationship.

But you test out fine.

It's your husband's the problem,
and all he probably needs

is a good sperm wash.

If it's only a matter
of laundry why are you

so opposed to doing it?

We don't do husbands.

We do female infertility.

We do women, that's
our specialty.

I am a woman, and I want
you to take care of me.

I trust you.

It's hard enough these
days to find someone

in the medical profession

that you can trust.

Arlene, that's--that's,
that's wonderful,

that's, I mean um,
that's really wonderful.

But we don't do husbands.

We don't deliver babies
either, we make women fertile

and that's all we do.

To achieve anything in life
one has to keep life simple.

Don't you think?

Irrigation.

Of course it would be
an exaggeration to say

that we can make up a new
set of Fallopian tubes

using just anything
that's handy.

Those tubes are highly
specialized little organs.

But with the kind of help
we can offer the process,

it is possible to modify
several other organs.

The odd vein, or as
today, we're using

a femoral lymphatic vessel
to take over the function

of conveying the egg from
the ovary to the uterus.

What are you taking?

Let me see.

Dextroamphetamine resin.

Dosage form, capsule,
7.5 milligrams.

Use, short term
treatment of obesity.

Minor side effects, dry
mouth, palpitations,

restlessness, unpleasant
taste in mouth.

Major side effects.

Sleeplessness, rapid
heart beat, euphoria.

Do you want one?

Where did you learn all that?

Doctor, the Physician's
Desk Reference is my

favorite bedside reading.

As a matter of fact, they
tell me that there's a high

incidence of drug
use amongst doctors.

Is that true?

Yep.

Do you take drugs?

Nope.

Well, for pain.

Pain creates
character distortion.

It's simply not necessary.

I'm often in a lot of pain.

What kind of pain?

I think psychosexual.

I'd say that was a
pretty astute diagnosis.

But I wouldn't recommend
you using those

for that condition.

Who prescribed them for you?

When you get to be a
famous actress, well,

doctors are friendly.

You do me a favor?

Will you allow me to do
the prescribing for you?

Thanks Arthur.

You've forgotten to
sign this, Dr. Mantle.

Oh.

Sorry.

Actually, my name's Dennis.

Sorry.

I always get you confused.

Bye again.

If I had a game of squash in
Ontario I'd end up a dead man.

I may win, but I'd be
dead at the end of it.

Tired?

Yeah, that last one was rough.

You there?

No, I'll watch the tape.

I'll need it to get the
FT paper in shape anyway.

Boston's yelling at me for it.

Hello, Mary.

Doctor.

Then I'll just need your
tissue rejection data.

How's that coming along?

How about I write
the paper one time

and you collect the data?

Sure.

Just say when.

Do you wanna see
how it's shaping up?

No, I trust you to
make us look good.

I'm exhausted.

Too exhausted to
see Claire tonight?

No.

Never.

You'll need these.

What's that?

Butazamine.

She's heard that it makes
sex come on like Nagasaki.

You're not feeding
her pills, are you?

Listen baby brother.

I've got her number.

This lady's hustling
us for drugs.

I don't think
that's true at all.

I think we should
drop her, Bev.

You drop her.

This is unknown territory
we're moving into.

Just because some dumb
cop handcuffed us together

doesn't mean I have to like you.

Handcuffs?

You don't get it, do you.

Listen, honey mud,
we're on the run,

and until we find the computer
release code to this thing

we're gonna get to know
each other real well.

I suggest we learn
to like what we see.

You're a very
self-conscious reader.

Just, just loosen up and play.

Didn't you ever do
routines as a kid?

Impersonations?

The only impersonation
I ever did was my brother.

I didn't know
you had a brother.

Yeah.

We're not very close.

Beverly.

That's a woman's name.

Why did your mom give you
a woman's name, I wonder?

It's not a woman's name,
it's spelled differently.

Right, but it's
still a woman's name.

Does your brother have
a woman's name too?

Merian, spelled
with an E and an A?

What are you
trying to suggest?

That I'm gay or something?

My mother wanted girls?

What the fuck is this
bullshit psychoanalysis?

(breathing heavily)

Listen, doctor.

I think there's
something wrong with you.

I don't know what it is,
I can't put a label on it,

but you're subtly, I don't know,

schizophrenic or something.

Sometimes I like you very much.

And sometimes you're
amusing lay, not much more.

And I can't figure out why.

(rattling pills)

Beverly.

One for you.

One for me.

Please, come this way.

My dear.

Sit down, have a drink,
and tell me everything.

I'm not sure I
know everything.

Well you can start with
all this I've been hearing

about you and the
wonderful Mantle boys.

What are you talking about?

Claire, this is me, Laura.

Please don't be
coy, it's tedious.

Dear Beverly, dear Elliot.

There are those that
claim they can't ever tel I

the difference between
them, but not me, dear.

It's obvious to me that
well, perhaps before I say

anything gauche you better tell
me which one you're seeing.

You mean to say
there's two of them?

Don't be an ass, dear, of
course there's two of them.

They're twins, dear.

Identical twins.

My dear, you've gone
absolutely pale.

Have I said something?

No, no, not at all.

Where's that waiter?
I want some coffee.

Oh, how sick-making.

I have said
something, haven't I?

(thunder rumbling)

You know, I could get
very fond of Butazamine.

Oh.

Beverly.

Why haven't you told
me that your brother

isn't just a brother?

Ah, that--that ah,
that

Yes, that.

Never occurred to me, I
mean, he is just a brother.

(inhales deeply)
Um, is it important?

Is it important?

I've heard that you live
together in the same apartment.

Yeah, that's true.

We both like Italian furniture.

God.
Do you sleep in the same bed?

Oh Claire, come on.

You come on!

You told me you and your
brother weren't close.

And now I find out not only
are you identical twins,

but you live together
in the same apartment.

What's he like?

Your twin?

Well, I mean uh,
(coughs)

of course he--he--he
looks a lot like me.

Are you identical
psychologically?

Um...

No, I wouldn't say that.

When can I meet him?

You can't, I mean,
you don't want to.

(thunder rumbling)

But Beverly, don't
you understand?

I have to meet him.

Why?

I want to know
everything about you.

I don't think
it's a good idea.

You don't want me
to meet your twin?

Now why is that?

It's--it's difficult.

It's very difficult.

That's it, you see.

I want to know why
it's difficult for you.

My button!

It's important
to me to know why.

I suppose I could
arrange for you and...

(inhales deeply)

Elliot...

to have a drink together.

Mm mm. Nix, no good.

Why?

I want to see
you two together.

He's waiting right there.

I know he's gonna
have to in the end.

Ah, there you are.

Here I am.

I've been really
looking forward to this.

Well, Claire Niveau,
this is my brother Elliot.

Hi, Claire, I hope Bev's
told you what a big fan I am

of your movies.

No, he hasn't.

As a matter of fact he
hasn't mentioned you at all.

Really?

That's not very flattering.

Well.

Are you gonna sit down?

Yes, I am.

I feel such a fool, actually.

I must be the only woman
in town who doesn't know

about the fabulous Mantle twins.

What are you drinking?

Nothing.

I want to be very sober
right at this moment,

I want to be very clear.

There really isn't any
telling you apart, is there?

Absolutely identical
in every respect.

I'm actually a couple
of millimeters taller.

I bet somebody who knew
you both, how shall I put it,

knew you both really well
could tell the difference,

couldn't they?

Without measuring
your height, I mean.

What do you mean?

Well Beverly's the sweet
one, and you're the shit.

Am I right?

This is some feisty
lady you've found Beverly.

Let's be frank, okay Elliot.

Let's ease up on the
bullshit for one moment.

You can be honest with me.

After all I am laying
both of you, aren't I?

Now just hang on a moment.

Sweet little act you have.

You soften them up with
all that smarmy concern

and along comes Dracula
here and polishes them off.

Actually I was the one
who fucked you first,

but I gave you to my baby
brother because you weren't

very good.

Oh god, oh Claire,
let me explain.

You absolute shit.

Explain what?

Explain what?

Listen.

I've been around a bit, you
know, and I thought I'd seen

some creepy things go on
in the movie business,

but I really have to say
that this is the most

disgusting thing that's
ever happened to me.

I doubt that.

What is it with you, chum?

You can't get it up unless
your brother's watching?

I told you this
was a bad idea.

Really stupid.

I'm leaving.

Don't bother.

(chuckles)

That solves that
little problem.

Jesus, Bev.

Hey.

What's going on?

I don't know,
I'm--I'm, um, I'm upset.

Listen.

I'll go and catch up with her.

I'll tell her it
was all my fault.

No.

Leave her alone.

I'll sort it out.

I give you the winner
of the 1988 Feldman Award,

Dr. Elliot Mantle.

(applause)

I suppose all of us know
just how important it is

for a practitioner to
receive the recognition

of his peers.

However, I feel that
this award tonight

is not really for me but
rather for those women

who have provided that
most precious thing,

the gift of life.

(applause)

I want to thank
Dr. Angus Lawson.

Hi, how are you?

Who gave me the time to
pursue my own research,

but most of all I want to
thank my brother, my partner,

Dr. Beverly Mantle, who,
true to form is not here

wasting time basking in glory.

Here, take mine.

But is hard at work
at the Mantle Clinic

gathering and shaking
the data which--

Not true.

Have made whatever
modest success--

Not true, I'm here!

(crashing)

(applause)

Sorry.

I see Beverly has been doing
a little basking after all.

And he has a lot to celebrate.

He has been recognized
as one of North America's

leading clinicians.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Dr. Beverly Mantle.

(applause)

You alright?

Had rather a lot to drink,
I just want to say something.

I just want to say something.

(microphone feedback squeals)

I just want to say something.

(clears throat)

There's been a fraud
perpetrated here tonight.

The whole thing's a fraud!

He's Beverly and I'm Elliot!

(laughter)

Just say thank
you and get off.

No, I want to
say something else,

I want to say something else.

Lot of you are
probably wondering

how we divide the work.

It's like this.

I slave over the hot snatches,
(gasping)

and Elliot makes the speeches.

For God's sake.

I do everything for those
bimbos except take them home

and stick it in them.

(crying out)

He's clearly been doing
a lot of celebrating.

And who can blame him.

Thank you so much, thank you.

(applause)

(melodramatic music playing,
alarm beeping)

I'm sorry about the
catastrophe last night.

It's true, I had to smooth
a few ruffled feathers

this morning.

But now, baby brother,
for the good news.

Lawson has finally offered me
the associate professorship

at the hospital.

One vodka martini, Dr. Mantle.

Thank you, Sean.

Are you going to accept?

Of course I'm going to accept.

It's the next step to
chairman of the department.

What about the practice?

Practice goes on as before.

Except you're not there.

Well, I mean as
much that's true.

I'm not eating.

You alright?

Yeah, I'm fine.

What are those?

Dex.

I'm tired, want one?

Uh... No, thanks.

Listen, if I can fly around,
teach, and do research,

surely you can find time
for a few more patients, eh?

Sure.

Why not.

(gasping,
intense music)

Good God!

- I didn't know you were here.
- Shh Shh

Shh, shh, Ellie's asleep.

His plane doesn't go til noon.

I didn't realize you
two were so friendly.

We're not so friendly.

You gonna take a shower?

Um...

No, I, uh... You go ahead.

Okay.

See ya.

It seems so cold and empty.

You can call it empty
or you can call it clean.

Sculpture.

It's a question
of the individual

nervous system, I think.

Course that
presupposes one has

an individual nervous system.

Please?

Uh, thank you,
I'll think about it.

Claire?

Yes.

Oh.

It's you.

Or should I say, which
one of you is it?

Please Claire, don't.

You still doing the miniseries?

Reshoots.

Director didn't know
what he was doing.

Well?

Tell me how sorry you are.

Tell me how much you miss me.

My brother and I have
always shared everything.

I'm not a thing.

I mean people.

Experiences.

It's never bothered
me before now.

It's different with me, is it?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

Is Elliot jealous of me?

Is he worried I'll
steal you away from him?

No, he offered to come
and talk to you for me.

To patch things up.

That would have been amusing.

Why didn't he?

I wouldn't let him.

Were you afraid I might like
him as much as I like you?

Or maybe

when it came down to it

I couldn't see the difference?

No.

It doesn't work
that way between us.

I think it does.

I think you two have
never come to terms

with the way it really
does work between you.

(dramatic music playing)

No.

Not while he's here.

I don't want him to see us.

It's alright.

I'll just separate you.

Separate us?

What do you mean?

(dramatic music)

(screaming)

(shouting)

What's the matter?

Oh, oh, oh, oh,

- oh,God!
- What happened?

I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I was dreaming.

What about?

About Elliot.

What happened?

Oh, don't, don't, don't.

- Don't do that.
- Come to bed.

Come here.

I don't want to dream
that again, that's all.

I can't.

(heavy panting)

What's that?

Secanol.

I guarantee you you won't dream.

Come to bed.

Don't let me dream that again.

The message then that
clearly emerges from these

complex encounters between
physician and patient

is that there is not only
a place in the clinic,

but indeed a demand
for a philosophy.

A philosophy which mixes
compassionate curiosity

with social responsibility.

(applause)

I think they'll soon discover
they're gonna have to.

(buzzing)

Yeah.

Yeah, look, uh David,
I've got to go.

Yeah, I've got company.

I'll talk to you tomorrow, bye.

Dr. Elliot Mantle?

Yes.

Special order
from Escort Embassy.

I'm Mimsy and this
is my sister, Coral.

Hi.

Would you like some of this?

Sure.

Listen, so that I know
which one of you is which,

I'd like you--

Coral.

Coral.

To call me Ellie.

And you, Mimsy, to call me Bev.

(dramatic music playing)

(rattling)

- Shit.
- Watch it.

- She's got it, Beverly
- It's okay.

That was a near thing, you okay?

YEAH, I'M FINE.

Thought you were a little shaky
there for a second.

Beverly, it's past 9.

You're late, got to get up.

I need something to get me up.

You know where it is.

Claire, you call Denuta?

Tell her to cancel my
first three patients.

I'll never make it.

Can't eat.

What's wrong?

I don't know, I can't eat.

If you don't know, I do.

Too many sleepers last night.

That's what.

Look who's talking.

Maybe you oughta
take a week off.

Just stop everything.

I'm serious.

I'll talk to Ellie
when he gets back.

Couldn't do anything
before then.

Elliot is back.

He called here for you while
you were in the shower.

You spoke to him?

I couldn't help it, could I?

I explained to him that you
were staying here with me

for a few days.

How did he react?

Civilized.

He apologized for
the scene in the bar,

and I more or less
accepted his apology.

Where are you going?

Leo's in town.

I told you about Leo,
and my Georgia picture.

We're real close to a deal.

Claire, don't go.

I want you to stay.

Beverly, I can't.

Okay, yeah.

Could you tell me
which is the make-up trailer?

This one here?

Yes, who are you looking for?

Miss Niveau.

Is she expecting you?

Yes, she is.

(waikie talkie)
Wardrobe.

We need him immediately.

(knocks)

Fascinating stuff.

Lucky old Bev, he gets to
rub up against the magic.

He seems totally uninterested.

Bev's not into art.

You are?

I am into glamour.

The art of glamour.

Well, here it is.

I was surprised
you wanted to see me.

Give us a few minutes, please.

(door shuts)

I like your brother very much.

And I thought it would
be good for you and me

to be friends, if we can.

I think we can.

There's something else.

I'm going away to do another
film, and I'm worried

about leaving Beverly alone.

Bev's not alone.

No, you're right,
he's not alone.

But he's lonely.

Even with me.

He's developing a serious
little drug problem,

did you realize that?

Thought you were the
one with the drug problem.

It's an occupational hazard.

The same goes for Beverly.

You resent me
tremendously, don't you?

You contribute a
confusing element

to the Mantle brothers' saga.

Possibly a destructive one.

It's not personal, I
think you're terrific.

But I just don't have a role
in the Mantle brothers' saga.

I suppose...

if you liked
us both in the same way,

might make things easier.

It has been known to happen.

I'm sorry, but I can't.

(dramatic music)

Am I really that
different from Beverly?

You really are.

Claire, let me
come to the airport.

Beverly, please,
no public goodbyes.

10 weeks is such a long time.

I'll fly up whenever
there's a break.

Claire.

Let's not lose each other.

(dramatic music)

(watch ticking)

Birchall, will you please
explain to my director

and my wardrobe person that I
am not about to do this movie

dressed like a 10 dollar hooker.

Miss Niveau is not
about to do this movie

dressed like a 10 dollar hooker.

(grunts)

Claire, you will admit at
least that your character

thinks of herself as a
kind of emotional hooker.

I do more than admit it.

I'm the one who pointed it
out to this wardrobe person.

But she's so bloody
literal minded.

(crying)

Wardrobe person?

She called me wardrobe person?

(indistinct chatter,
phone rings)

Hello, Niveau suite.

Hello?

Hello?

Have you examined
her carefully yet?

What?

Who is this?

I'm her gynecologist.

You're what?

I'm Claire Niveau's
gynecologist.

Did you know that
she was a trifurcate?

I'd have to classify
that as a mutation.

What exactly is this?

Is that you, Byron?

Carefully lubricate
the two prime fingers

of your right hand

and insert them
into Claire Niveau's vagina.

Instead of feeling
one cervical head,

you will feel three.

Basically, this means that you
have been fucking a mutant!

Oh, doctor, I'm sorry.

I thought you were ready
to see Mrs. Randall.

Mrs. Randall.

Please come and sit down,
I don't think we've met.

Let me introduce myself.

I'm one of the Mantle twins.

A lesion, not
surprisingly, causes diffuse

enlargement of the cervix

and of course
our old friend, leucorrhoea.

Until very recently,
diagnosis tended to be done

after a hystological examination
of the removed organ,

a case, you may say, of
throwing the baby out

with the bathwater.

I'm sorry doctor, but your
brother is waiting for you in

your office.

I think you better go see him.

Bev, what are you doing here?

What's wrong?

I've been hiding
out at Claire's.

I've been hiding from you.

Hiding?

What are you talking about?

I was afraid of you.

I was afraid you
wouldn't let me have her.

That's crazy, Bev.

It is crazy because...

yesterday...

yesterday...

I found out that
she was having an affair.

She's unfaithful to me, Ellie.

Bev, you mustn't
take it so seriously.

She's a showbiz lady.

What can you expect?

I'm in love with her.

I have to take it seriously.

Can't be love if it
does this to you, can it?

Can't be love, Bev.

You're right, Ellie.

I was hiding from
the wrong person.

(loud doowop music)

♪ In the still of the night

♪ I held you

♪ Held you tight

♪ was I love

♪ Love you so

♪ Promise I'll never

♪ Let you go

♪ In the still of the night

♪ In the still of the night

♪ I remember

Dance?

No.

Go ahead.

Go on Bev, dance
with the girl.

♪ To keep your precious love

♪ well before the light

♪ Hold me again

♪ with all your might

♪ In the still of the night

♪ In the still of the night

(doowop music continues)

♪ So before

♪ Your love

♪ Tell me again

♪ with all of your might

♪ In the still of the night

♪ In the still of the night

♪ In the still of the night

What's the matter, Bev?

I just can't.

Bev, stay with us.

Stay with me.

Bev.

He collapsed.

(dramatic music)

Fuck, he's not breathing.

Don't touch him,
he's my brother!

Come on, Bev.

(dramatic music)

(sirens wailing)

(gurgling)

Bev, Bev.

Ellie.

Thank God you're here.

Oh God.

Oh Bev.

Look at you, you're a
mess, you're a wreck.

You could have
had a stroke, Bev.

You're lucky to be in one piece.

One piece.

Bev.

We can't let anyone
know about the drugs.

If that gets out,
we're finished.

How would they know?

I had to fight them off to
stop them taking a blood sample

but I can't stay
here day and night.

We've got to get
you off the pills

without anybody knowing.

Do you think I'm
really addicted?

I'll put you on
a detox program.

Supervise it myself.

(knocking)

Here you go.

Darling, you must
tell me what's going on.

Mother, I'm at
the end of my rope.

I can't live in that
house another second.

Every relationship has
its ups and downs, dear.

Bev, there's a couple of
things you're going to have to--

Why are you taking that apart?

Ellie.

I can't sleep.

If you're asking me for a
sleeper, I'll tell you right now

you're not gonna get one.

What am I gonna do then?

You'll stay up.

Ellie, I'll die
if I don't sleep.

You'll stay up.

What if I take something
when you go home?

I'm staying right here.

What if I take something
when you go to sleep?

I won't go to sleep.

How will you stay awake?

I'll take something!

You'll take an up so
that I don't take a down?

This is crazy.

Bev, don't worry
about me, I'm not you.

And don't destroy that.

Oh, that really hurts.

This?

This hurts?

I don't know exactly
what it is, it's hurting.

Mrs. Bookman, this is a
solid gold Mantle retractor.

Solid gold.

It's the best there is.

This clinic's the best there is.

I mean, we have the technology.

Couldn't possibly hurt.

I didn't mean to question it.

When did you
last have a period?

I haven't had one in
four or five months.

And does it hurt?

When you have intercourse?

Yes, it does.

(door shuts)

Where was I?

You asked me whether or not
it hurt when I had intercourse

and I said it did.

Yes.

What exactly did you
have intercourse with?

What do you mean?

I just wondered.

I was once asked to treat a
woman who had had intercourse

with a Labrador retriever,

and I thought...

maybe...

You used this on Mrs. Bookman?

Yes.

Bev, this is not for
internals, remember?

This is for surgical retraction.

No wonder it hurt her.

No, no.

It's not the--

There's nothing the matter
with the instrument,

it's the body.

The woman's body was all wrong.

(solemn music)

Yes, I think you'll find
his work quite interesting.

Mm hmm.

Why don't you drop by
later on this evening?

Alright, just a moment please.

May I help you?

Yes, I wondered if you
could put me in touch

with Mr. Wolleck.

Ah, your timing's perfect.

Mr. Wolleck is right over there.

He's working on a new piece.

That's Mr. Wolleck?

- He works here?
- Mm hmm.

It's part of his show.

I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

I was wondering if you
could help me with these.

Fascinating.

They're quite beautiful.

What are they?

They're gynecological
instruments.

For working on mutant women.

Mutant women?

That's a great theme for a show.

It's not for a show.

It's not art.

I'm a doctor, I need
them for my work.

Well that's a
little out of my line.

What do you want me to do?

Well, I need three
dimensional prototypes

in surgical steel, cast,
hand-finished, functioning.

And I thought maybe--

Aren't there large
companies in this town

that could help you?

No, no, no, I
can't go to them!

It's too radical for them.

We've always been too radical.

I mean, I can't, it's
too, it's too complicated.

I think maybe we could
work something out.

I have just about had
it with the bullshit

I'm getting from this office.

Now I have asked you
10 times to transfer

my wife's records
to the Mt. Sinai,

you just haven't done it.

Now they refuse to admit
her without those records,

just what is going on here?

Mr. Claser, I'm so sorry,
the doctors assured me

they'd already been sent.

Bullshit!

Now I want those files in
my hand before I leave here.

Mr. Glaser, I assure you
I'll do everything I can.

(knocking)

Not now.

Doctor, I have
to speak to you.

Not now!

Doctor, I'm giving
you my notice.

I won't work under
these conditions.

Fine.

(Sighs)

Fine.

(dramatic music)

We're all set, Beverly.

We'll use these.

Give us the tools and
we will do the job.

I'm--I'm afraid I'm not familiar
with these instruments, doctor.

I've just had them made.

They're brand new.

Well, number them one to
ten from left to right.

(banging)

And give me the
one that I ask for.

Give me number five.

Now, please!

Yes, number five.

Number five.

(shouts)

Jesus Christ, Beverly!

I've gotta slow
everything down.

I need something to
slow everything down.

(crashes)

Let go!

Oh my God, she's bleeding.

Get a clamp
for God's sake.

Get him the hell out of here!

(intense music)

I am more than willing to
apologize for my behavior.

I have been working too hard.

I must be more realistic
about my energy levels

and about my ability to
concentrate

for long periods
of time under pressure.

I must add, however, that
these accusations laid

before me arise out of
a lack of understanding

of the radical techniques my
brother and I are known for,

and I think it would be fair
to say there's a certain

amount of professional
jealousy involved,

as well.

That's fine, sir.
(rain pouring)

Yes, we've always
intended to ease ourselves

into pure research anyway.

No.

No, I don't think
that'll be necessary,

you have our cooperation.

They didn't buy it, Bev.

I think they knew it was me.

Listen, we could
have killed her.

They said the woman
could have died.

They're lying.

They've always been jealous.

They won't revoke
our hospital privileges

as long as we don't
ever use them again.

Fuck 'em.

We've always planned
to ease ourselves

into pure research anyway.

I certainly always
planned it, didn't you?

Seems to be some problem
with our surgical instruments.

They're holding them as
evidence of a disturbed mind.

(dramatic music)

Do you know what
they're talking about?

I tried to tell you, Ellie.

You just don't know the
kind of patients we've been

getting lately.

I don't know what's
going on out there.

Patients are getting strange.

They look alright on the
outside, but their insides.

They're deformed.

Well I had to deal
with it somehow!

Radical technology was required!

You're right, Bev.

Something radical is
definitely required.

(dramatic music)

Right, I want you to
take three of these now.

Take three around
7 this evening.

Three before you go to sleep.

And three when you
wake up in the morning.

Yes, doctor.

(Bev mumbling)

Can I trust you to do that
or have I got to sit here

and watch you?

Don't know.

Can you trust me?

Oh God.

Don't do this to me, Bev.

But I'm only doing
it to me, Ellie.

Don't you have a
will of your own?

Why don't you just go on
with your very own life?

Do you remember the
original Siamese twins?

Chang and Eng.

They were joined at the chest.

Remember how they died?

Mmm.

Chang died of a stroke

in the middle of the night.

He was always the sickly one.

He was always the one
who drank too much.

When Eng woke up beside him

and found that
his brother was dead,

he died of fright.

Right there in the bed.

Does that answer
your question?

Poor Ellie.

Poor Bev.

(dramatic footage)

(elevator doors close)

(TV playing)

Everything's under control,

I don't see what the problem is.

Now the hospital's
getting complaints

about your private practice.

They've even approached
me, informally of course,

off the record of course.

They asked me all about Bev.

Is he a junkie, everything.

Course you didn't
tell them anything.

Of course not.

But you can't go on
insulating yourselves.

They're gonna nail you.

They're gonna be
forced to nail you.

The clinic's none
of their business.

It's getting hard to
tell the two of you apart.

What'd you do that for?

It's my favorite
fucking program!

Ellie, Ellie, Ellie.

You haven't done anything wrong.

Look, your reputation
is separate from Bev's.

You've still got a career.

Career.

My brother's research is
the basis of my career.

I need him.

Besides.

The truth is nobody
can tell us apart.

We are perceived as one person.

If Bev goes down the
tubes, I go with him.

Got to get him back.

I think that's too
dangerous for you.

I think you're the
last person on earth

who should try to do that.

You've got to stay
away from him now.

Sure, look, find him some
help, but for God's sakes,

Elliot, you've got to
cut yourself loose.

That wouldn't work.

- Why? Just--
- Now look

don't you get it yet?

Whatever's in his bloodstream
goes directly into mine.

You can't be serious?

That is an objective
medical observation.

No, no, no!

That's not true.

You're making it true,
but it's not true.

Look.

You don't put these
in your mouth,

they don't end up
in your bloodstream.

Beverly and I just
have to get synchronized.

Once we're synchronized
it'll be easy.

(dramatic music)

(phone ringing)

Hello?

Who is this?

It's Beverly.

Beverly, it's Claire.

I'm back.

Claire?

Beverly, why haven't I
been able to reach you?

Why haven't you called me?

Claire.

Why did you betray me?

What are you talking about?

That...

That man.

That man in your hotel room.

Oh, my God.

Was that you who called?

That was my secretary Birchall.

He's defiantly gay,

and you managed
to gross him out completely.

Beverly, I want you
to come and see me.

Come to me right now.

(crying)

(dramatic music,
faucet water running)

(phone rings)

Yeah?

Mr. Verdue?

Yeah?

This is Dr. Mantle.

Oh yeah.

I know this
sounds awfully silly

but I'm afraid there's
been a terrible mixup.

I've locked myself
into the clinic.

Um, I was wondering if
you'd mind coming up

and letting me out.

I'll be right there.

(knocking)

Dr. Mantle?

It's me, Verdue.

(shoving)

Just a minute, Mr. Verdue.

Okay, I think
something's stuck there.

What's going on in there?

You know, endless renovations.

Oh, yeah.

Um, you better lock it.

Yeah, sure.

Are you coming down?

Yeah.

Hey, are you alright?

Yes.

I'm fine.

Don't look so hot.

I'm fine!

Thank you.

You're the doctor.

(dramatic music)

(horn honks)

(vomits)

Excuse me, what are you doing?

- They're mine.
- They've been sold!

They're mine,
and I'm taking them.

They made another.

They're mine and
I'm taking them!

They're--

They're not yours!

They're not yours!

(object falls on floor)

Claire.

(rattling doorknob)

Beverly, my love,
what's wrong with you?

I've got to have some secanol.

I'm so sorry Beverly.

No, please, I've
got to have some.

- I don't have anything at all.
- Oh.

Oh fuck!

It's alright, it's okay.

I'll write the
prescription for you.

They'll fill it for you.

I've got to have them Claire.

Don't tell Elliot that I'm here.

Why?

I think he's
becoming a drug addict.

I think he's becoming dangerous.

(dramatic music)

(man)
Give me a call

around lunchtime.
See you later.

Are you sure he didn't call?

I'm sure.

That's not like Elliot.

It's been almost a week.

You know Elliot I would have
expected him to be here,

kicking the door in by now.

Weill, I haven't
heard a word from him.

Didn't call when I was asleep?

No.

Tell me about...

these...

these tools.

Tools?

Surgical instruments.

You had them with
you when you came.

Did I?

Yes.

What are they for?

They're for separating
Siamese twins.

I must go back.

Don't go back.

Stay here.

I must go now.

I'll take these.

I'll come back.

Your brother won't
let you come back.

(sighs)

How could he stop me?

(dramatic music)

(faucet running)

(shower running)

Welcome home, kid.

You've got to take a
shot of Dilantin tonight,

otherwise we might convulse.

Right.

Don't forget.

Right.

Then we go to
percodan in the morning.

Right.

Then in the afternoon
we have a little treat.

Dilaudid, just
because it's Saturday.

So on Monday we kick, right?

We agreed, we have to
start to pull things

back together then.

Oh yes.

On Monday we definitely kick.

How 'bout some cake?

I could go for that.

(stepping on paper)

And some orange pop.

Some ice cream.

We haven't got any
ice cream, Ellie.

Mummy forgot to buy it.
(Ellie coughs)

I want some ice cream.

(dramatic music)

Happy birthday, Ellie.

It's not our birthday, Bev.

Yes, it is.

Happy birthday, baby brother.

We are about the
separate the Siamese twins.

Don't forget the good part.

Oh yes.

Chang was always most concerned
about dulling the pain.

Don't waste it.

Tell me when it takes effect.

Don't think I'll notice it.

You can start when you like.

(sharp inhale)

Do you think the
morticulator is required, Eng?

I think everything
is required, Chang.

Why are you you crying, Eng?

Separation can be a...

terrifying thing.

Don't worry, baby brother.

We'll always,

we'll always be together.

Ellie.

I had a terrible dream.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Ellie.

(melancholy music)

(patting)

(inserts coins)

(dialing)

Hello?

Hello?

Who is this?

(solemn music)