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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,940 --> 00:00:12,360 Who can turn the world on with a smile? 2 00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:21,400 Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all 3 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:22,400 seem worthwhile? 4 00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:25,760 Well, it's you, girl, and you should know it. 5 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:32,299 With each glance and every little movement you show it, love is all 6 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:37,740 need to waste it. You can have a town, why don't you take it? 7 00:00:38,270 --> 00:00:42,090 You're going to make it after all. 8 00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:09,100 I'm upset. 9 00:01:10,460 --> 00:01:13,140 Outraged and angered. Oh, well, what happened, Ted? 10 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,320 Didn't you like your prize and your Froot Loops? 11 00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:18,100 No, that was fine. 12 00:01:20,020 --> 00:01:21,260 What's in this paper? 13 00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:23,280 Read it, Mary. It'll make you sick. 14 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:29,040 New York news personality Gordon Howard, the former WJM weatherman, arrived last 15 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,740 night for a visit in the Twin Cities. 16 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,900 Hey! How about that? Gordy's back. That's great. 17 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,660 Wait, wait. You didn't hear the rest. 18 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:40,000 In an airport interview, Howard confirmed the signing of a contract to 19 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:45,600 network morning show, as well as four primetime specials at a reported salary 20 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:49,420 $250 ,000 a year. 21 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,500 See? I told you it'd make you sick. 22 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:58,820 That son of a gun. I always knew he had talent. I knew it when I hired him as 23 00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:02,420 weatherman. There was just something about the way he handled his pointer. 24 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,140 Oh, yeah. Well, I saw it, too. 25 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,840 I mean, remember when I used him as co -anchorman with Ted? 26 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:12,120 You know, that was the first time Gordy ever did the news. Oh, yeah. Well, I 27 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:16,720 hate to take credit for someone's success, but once he was crossing the 28 00:02:16,780 --> 00:02:18,080 and I didn't hit him with my car. 29 00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:21,440 You're right. We're being silly. 30 00:02:21,820 --> 00:02:25,180 The only one responsible for Gordy's success is Gordy himself, and he made it 31 00:02:25,180 --> 00:02:30,960 through talent, perseverance, and... Uh, Gordy! Hey, congratulations. We just 32 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:31,960 read the good news. 33 00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:34,450 Yeah? Oh, sure, come on down. 34 00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:35,670 Sure, hurry up. 35 00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:38,570 He's up there at the station owner's office. He's coming right down. 36 00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:42,450 Listen to this. The morning show will feature candid conversations with major 37 00:02:42,450 --> 00:02:46,490 celebrities. Production will begin as soon as the network selects a suitable 38 00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:47,930 -host. Co -host? 39 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:50,370 Co -host. 40 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:53,830 So, my dear, sweet, intimate friend needs a co -host. 41 00:02:54,810 --> 00:02:55,870 Aw, Ted. 42 00:02:56,490 --> 00:02:59,450 You know what he's going to do, don't you? He's going to embarrass all of us. 43 00:02:59,550 --> 00:03:00,650 No, he's not. 44 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,300 And I'm going to make sure he doesn't. Ted? 45 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,580 A co -host. He's going to have to pick a co -host. 46 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,440 Ted, will you listen to me? 47 00:03:08,660 --> 00:03:13,000 Ted! The minute Gordy walks in here, I don't want you to fawn, beg, or toady 48 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:13,879 that co -host job. 49 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:14,880 Okay, Lou. 50 00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:16,220 Can I grovel? 51 00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:19,860 I mean it, Ted. Don't be ridiculous, Lou. 52 00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:22,820 When I meet Gordy, it's going to be one professional meeting another. 53 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,160 Hey, anybody here seen my pointer? 54 00:03:31,530 --> 00:03:33,210 Great news, Ted. How are you, man? 55 00:03:38,430 --> 00:03:42,630 I wonder 56 00:03:42,630 --> 00:03:50,270 why 57 00:03:50,270 --> 00:03:51,630 Gordy wanted to have lunch here. 58 00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:57,450 I mean, we could have gone to Antoine's. Mary, Gordy's a simple guy, and I'm 59 00:03:57,450 --> 00:03:59,710 sure he likes things easy and relaxed. 60 00:04:00,410 --> 00:04:03,910 I'm sure it makes him quite uncomfortable to have people make a big 61 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:04,910 him. Do you understand? 62 00:04:05,050 --> 00:04:07,890 Mr. Grant, are you implying that I'm making Gordy feel uncomfortable? 63 00:04:08,350 --> 00:04:11,450 Well, I don't know about Gordy, but you're sure making me uncomfortable. 64 00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:17,930 I mean, panting and gushing over him the way he talks about meeting all those 65 00:04:17,930 --> 00:04:20,630 celebrities. I didn't pant and gush. 66 00:04:20,890 --> 00:04:21,890 Oh? 67 00:04:22,190 --> 00:04:25,630 You actually had lunch with Charles Nelson Riley? 68 00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:31,220 little more blase. 69 00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:32,339 Thank you. 70 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:33,760 This is the commissary. Yeah. 71 00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:37,560 You remember the commissary, don't you, Gordo? Oh, yeah. Or as we call it, 72 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:38,600 cramped city. 73 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:42,500 Is everything just as you remember it? 74 00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:44,620 Everything. 75 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:52,400 Say, Gordo, speaking of remembering, do you remember when we did the news 76 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,620 together? I mean, as a team? 77 00:04:55,220 --> 00:04:56,220 Yeah, sure, Ted. 78 00:04:56,420 --> 00:04:57,680 Did it give you any ideas? 79 00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:02,590 Ideas? Ted, aren't you supposed to meet Georgette for lunch today? 80 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:05,270 Well, that was over an hour ago. She's probably finished by now. 81 00:05:07,870 --> 00:05:11,870 Georgette, you got yourself a new girlfriend, huh? Oh, hey, that's right. 82 00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:13,910 don't know. Ted got married last year. 83 00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:17,730 Well, Ted got married. Somebody finally chopped a silver fox. 84 00:05:17,990 --> 00:05:22,110 Yep, and they have a little baby girl, and they adopted a 12 -year -old boy. A 85 00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:24,110 12 -year -old boy. How about that? 86 00:05:24,330 --> 00:05:25,550 A great kid, too. 87 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:29,520 Yeah, I sure would like to meet him sometime, Ted. You would? Wait here or 88 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:30,520 him out of school. 89 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:37,020 Perky? 90 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,460 No, Ted's all right. 91 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,700 Oh, thanks. 92 00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:50,340 So, Gordy, tell us all about the people that you... the, 93 00:05:50,380 --> 00:05:51,700 uh, people you've met. 94 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:53,840 Mary, I can't believe it. 95 00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:56,700 The money they're paying me to interview celebrities on television. 96 00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:00,380 You know, last week I interviewed Barbara Streisand. Huh? 97 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,620 Barbara... Streisand. Yeah. 98 00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:08,060 And the week before that, Sir Lawrence Olivier. 99 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,440 The English fellow. 100 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:15,980 Yeah, but I really couldn't believe it when I found myself two weeks ago 101 00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:19,860 on a mountaintop in Utah shooting the breeze with Robert Redford. Huh? 102 00:06:23,130 --> 00:06:24,170 Robert Redford. 103 00:06:25,070 --> 00:06:26,870 Good little actor. 104 00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:31,610 He's really a simple guy. Likes skiing in the outdoors. 105 00:06:31,870 --> 00:06:33,470 You two would probably hit it off pretty good. 106 00:06:33,730 --> 00:06:37,730 Well, I certainly wouldn't be averse to meeting Redford if the situation ever 107 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,730 aroused. 108 00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:40,210 Arose? 109 00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:59,090 the idea of meeting all those celebrities. 110 00:06:59,450 --> 00:07:00,530 Yeah, well, who isn't? 111 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:04,990 I mean, on the outside, I'm Mr. Cool, but on the inside, I'm jumping up and 112 00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:07,110 and saying, hey, man, you are Willie Mays. 113 00:07:08,530 --> 00:07:11,150 You actually meant Willie Mays. 114 00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:14,330 Well, 115 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:16,810 you guys are beautiful. 116 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:19,050 I sure am glad I had time to stop by and see you. 117 00:07:19,290 --> 00:07:22,830 Hey, I got a great idea. Why don't we make a little party for Gordy tonight? 118 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:24,239 Hey, terrific. 119 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,120 Yeah, I don't know, Lou. I've been invited out by the station owner, and I 120 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:29,340 know if I can get out of it. Bring him along. 121 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:30,599 The more the merrier. 122 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,180 Okay, I'll see if I can swing it. Great. 123 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:33,940 Excuse me, Mr. Howard. 124 00:07:34,260 --> 00:07:38,320 I'm Janet Downing from WJM Publicity. Yeah. There's some reporters and 125 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,740 photographers downstairs. I wonder if you'd mind talking to them for a little 126 00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:44,620 while. Boy, that's the way it's been ever since I got this job. 127 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,060 Photo sessions, articles, interviews. 128 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,340 Boy, oh boy, oh boy. 129 00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:52,080 Do you want me to tell them you're not here? Are you crazy? 130 00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:57,380 So what time should I be there? 131 00:07:57,820 --> 00:07:58,820 Be where? 132 00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:01,400 It's your place for the party. 133 00:08:02,380 --> 00:08:05,440 Mr. Grant, I'm not going to give the party tonight. 134 00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:07,320 Sure you will. 135 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,100 No, I won't. 136 00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:13,000 Mr. Grant, I have a thousand things to do. 137 00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:15,840 I've got to prepare the budget report for tomorrow morning. 138 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,840 I've got letters to write. I have to do my tax return. Okay, okay. I'll have the 139 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,120 party at my place. Good. 140 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:22,920 What time shall I be there? 141 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,240 Hey, where's Gordo? 142 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,440 He's out there. 143 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,100 Too bad. I wanted him to meet my adopted son. 144 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,260 That's not your son. 145 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:38,179 If I get that job, he will be. 146 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,080 Jack. 147 00:08:46,990 --> 00:08:48,190 There's a party tonight. Can you come? 148 00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:49,810 Oh, sure. What time, ma 'am? 149 00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:52,270 Don't ask me, Murr. It's at Mr. Grant's house. 150 00:08:52,710 --> 00:08:54,650 Right. 8 .30. Special occasion. 151 00:08:54,890 --> 00:08:56,210 Oh, terrific, Lou. Terrific. 152 00:08:56,530 --> 00:09:01,870 Special occasion, huh? Like maybe a surprise going -away party for a local 153 00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:04,790 anchorman soon to be skying to Gotham? Oh, Ted. 154 00:09:05,870 --> 00:09:09,630 We face back. Don't you think that if Gordy were going to ask you to be his co 155 00:09:09,630 --> 00:09:11,130 -host, he would have asked you by now? 156 00:09:11,730 --> 00:09:12,729 Yeah, you're right. 157 00:09:12,730 --> 00:09:13,790 I'd better ask him. 158 00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:15,670 Ted, don't. 159 00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:16,900 do that. 160 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:20,740 Why, Mary, they're going to need a co -host. It could very easily be me. 161 00:09:21,180 --> 00:09:25,240 And in this business, it's not how good you are that gets you hired, it's who 162 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,240 you know. 163 00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:28,860 Now I know someone. God bless him, I know Gordy. 164 00:09:29,980 --> 00:09:31,320 Hey, we're on for a night, Lou. 165 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:32,659 Okay, great. 166 00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:35,980 Say 30 my place. Gordo, I've got to talk to you for a minute, Lou. I'll need 167 00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:39,040 your office. Look, Gordo, Lou, when I make it, you'll know me. 168 00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:40,420 In here, Gordo. 169 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,040 What's happening? 170 00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:45,970 Be gentle. 171 00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:50,930 Yeah, you want to see me? 172 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,209 Sit down, girl. 173 00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:53,210 Sure. 174 00:09:53,790 --> 00:09:54,810 What do you want to talk about? 175 00:09:56,050 --> 00:09:59,830 Well, I just wondered if there was any favor I could do for you while you're in 176 00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:00,830 town. 177 00:10:01,610 --> 00:10:04,490 Well, thanks, Ted, but I don't need any favors done now. 178 00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:07,690 Well, that's all I was going to say. 179 00:10:07,930 --> 00:10:08,930 Okay. 180 00:10:09,510 --> 00:10:13,770 Oh, by the way, there is maybe one little thing you could do for me. Name 181 00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:15,950 Could you give me that co -host job on your show? 182 00:10:17,410 --> 00:10:18,950 Gordo, believe me, I'm great. 183 00:10:20,110 --> 00:10:22,610 I can talk way deeper than this. 184 00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:26,430 Good evening, this is Ted Baxter with the news. Oh, Ted, don't do this. You 185 00:10:26,430 --> 00:10:27,750 really put me in a rough spot. 186 00:10:28,390 --> 00:10:32,830 All I'm asking you to do is recommend me, Gordo. Tell them how great I am. 187 00:10:32,830 --> 00:10:34,110 not as if I were asking you to lie. 188 00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:41,430 Gordo, believe me, we'll be a great team. 189 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:46,240 Me, a white Anglo -Saxon Protestant, and you, a black Anglo -Saxon Protestant? 190 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,240 Ted, I'm sorry. 191 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:54,140 I know how much this job means to you, but I just can't recommend you for it. 192 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:55,360 Why not? 193 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,820 Of course I can't. 194 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,160 I want to know why. 195 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,260 Well, I'm entitled to know the reason. I mean, you owe me that. 196 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:05,400 I want the truth. I mean, what is it? 197 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,940 You think I'm not good enough? 198 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,159 Oh, Ted. 199 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,320 No, no, no. Come on. 200 00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:12,810 If that's the reason, I want to know. 201 00:11:13,770 --> 00:11:16,390 I mean, is that what you think, that I'm not good enough? 202 00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:19,010 I mean, go ahead, say it if it's true. 203 00:11:19,350 --> 00:11:21,390 Don't worry, I'm man enough to take it. 204 00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:25,910 Okay, Ted, maybe that's the reason. Maybe I don't think you're good enough. 205 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,640 Boy, he really took that rough. 206 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:46,140 If only you hadn't asked me why I couldn't recommend him. What'd you say? 207 00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:47,920 I told him I didn't think he was good enough. 208 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,200 And he bought it? 209 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,560 Lou, I'll see you at your place tonight, huh? All right, take care. 210 00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,020 Murray? See you, Corey. 211 00:12:10,109 --> 00:12:12,210 Boo, you didn't replace me yet, did you? 212 00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:15,590 No, Ted, the job's still yours. 213 00:12:15,830 --> 00:12:16,830 Oh, thanks. 214 00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:22,830 You know what Gordy said to me? 215 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,090 What, Ted? 216 00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:25,870 None of your business. 217 00:12:28,010 --> 00:12:29,790 Anyway, that clown doesn't know what he's talking about. 218 00:12:30,930 --> 00:12:33,290 Third -rate opportunist made it on pure luck. 219 00:12:33,890 --> 00:12:36,670 Well, Ted, if that's the way you feel, maybe you shouldn't go to the party 220 00:12:36,670 --> 00:12:37,670 tonight. 221 00:12:39,850 --> 00:12:40,749 miss it. 222 00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:44,070 I didn't get a chance to tell that guy what I really think of him. Oh, I can't 223 00:12:44,070 --> 00:12:46,350 wait. Believe me, sparks are going to fly tonight. 224 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,370 Why are you smiling? 225 00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:55,830 Well, I just, I can't help it, Mr. Grant. There's a party tonight. 226 00:12:56,230 --> 00:12:59,050 Two of the guests are ready to tear into each other. 227 00:12:59,330 --> 00:13:00,670 The tension's mounting. 228 00:13:01,190 --> 00:13:03,410 Sounds like one of my typical parties. 229 00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:06,590 But it's not to yours. 230 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:23,569 It's open. 231 00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:28,890 Hi. Thought I'd come by early and see if you need any help. 232 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,750 Oh, that's okay, Mary. Sit down, have a drink. 233 00:13:33,050 --> 00:13:36,430 Mr. Grant, this place is not ready for a party. 234 00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:38,210 Why? Why not? 235 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,310 You're kidding, aren't you? 236 00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,730 What's wrong with the way the place is? 237 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:46,310 The place looks like a dump, Mr. Grant. 238 00:13:46,970 --> 00:13:49,410 Hey, that's not nice. 239 00:13:50,170 --> 00:13:53,070 You come into somebody's house and say it looks like a dump? 240 00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:55,290 What do you think, I don't have any feelings? 241 00:13:55,790 --> 00:13:57,110 This is my home. 242 00:13:58,230 --> 00:14:02,410 Mr. Grant, in a few minutes, Gordy is going to be walking through that door 243 00:14:02,410 --> 00:14:03,189 Mr. and Mrs. 244 00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:09,450 Cobb, who happen to own the station where you and I work. And you don't have 245 00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:10,450 hangers? 246 00:14:11,970 --> 00:14:13,370 Just throw your coat on the bed. 247 00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:16,810 That's not so unusual. 248 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:21,820 I've been to a lot of elegant parties where the hostess says, just throw your 249 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:22,820 coats on the bed. 250 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,900 Do you think you could make your bed first? 251 00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:31,220 What for? They're only going to throw coats on it. 252 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:38,840 Well, Mary, maybe there is something in what you say. 253 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:42,740 Mrs. Cobb is sort of a fussy broad. 254 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,540 Come on, Mary, can't you just help a little? 255 00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:48,609 are amazing. 256 00:14:48,610 --> 00:14:51,790 You know that I am actually feeling a twinge of guilt. 257 00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:54,850 And all I did was walk through that door as a guest. 258 00:14:59,610 --> 00:15:00,610 No. 259 00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:05,530 Clean it up yourself. 260 00:15:06,010 --> 00:15:08,370 Well, I thought I had until you walked in here. 261 00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:12,230 I guess maybe I had better tidy up a little more. 262 00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,040 Aren't you even going to help me? 263 00:15:18,140 --> 00:15:19,860 I'm not going to lift a finger. 264 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:24,460 Okay. Do what you want. Everybody will think you helped me anyway. 265 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,520 Just remember, don't make it like your place. Make it real. 266 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,640 Mr. Grant, your debts are going to be here any minute. Have you checked to 267 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,120 sure you have enough ice, soda, glasses? 268 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:42,380 I've got enough ice. I've got enough soda. I've got enough glasses. 269 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,440 I see only four glasses here. 270 00:15:44,670 --> 00:15:45,670 Well, they can take turns. 271 00:15:47,050 --> 00:15:50,370 All right, all right. I'll go in the kitchen, get some more glasses. 272 00:15:50,710 --> 00:15:52,990 While you're at it, you better get me a vacuum cleaner. 273 00:15:53,610 --> 00:15:54,610 Or a shovel. 274 00:16:32,270 --> 00:16:34,470 Lou, this drink has really got a very interesting taste. 275 00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:39,630 Vodka and something else I can't quite put my finger on. What is it? It's 276 00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:40,910 boysenberry. 277 00:16:43,130 --> 00:16:44,130 My favorite. 278 00:16:44,310 --> 00:16:46,970 Well, frankly, it doesn't taste like boysenberry to me. 279 00:16:47,210 --> 00:16:48,210 Yours is peanut butter. 280 00:16:53,450 --> 00:16:55,070 Hi, Mary. 281 00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:56,530 How's it going? 282 00:16:56,610 --> 00:16:58,430 Pretty good for a first party. 283 00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:00,170 Let me take your coat, honey. 284 00:17:00,390 --> 00:17:01,390 Thanks, Dan. 285 00:17:01,970 --> 00:17:03,270 Here, just put them in the bedroom. 286 00:17:07,650 --> 00:17:11,450 Listen, Ted, I don't want you to make any trouble with Gordy tonight. Oh, 287 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:12,869 nothing to worry about, Lou. 288 00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:16,369 I thought it all over and I realized I was being childish about the whole 289 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:18,670 In fact, I'm going over now to wish him luck. 290 00:17:19,069 --> 00:17:20,069 Good. 291 00:17:21,950 --> 00:17:23,970 Oh, Mr. Cobb, Mrs. Cobb. 292 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:25,730 Good evening, Ted. 293 00:17:26,050 --> 00:17:27,390 You know, we were just talking. 294 00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:30,750 Who would have thought when you were doing the news with Gordy? 295 00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:34,550 that he would be the one to become a huge success, huh? 296 00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:40,210 Well, I just came over to wish you well in New York, Arnold. 297 00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:42,810 Hey, Ted, that's real nice of you. Thanks. 298 00:17:43,010 --> 00:17:44,090 Well, best of luck. 299 00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:46,950 Or as they say in showbiz, break a leg. 300 00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:50,930 And an arm and a neck and a spine. 301 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,170 Well, am I behaving myself? 302 00:17:55,610 --> 00:17:56,610 Yes, you are. 303 00:17:57,170 --> 00:18:00,970 Aren't you going to introduce me to Gordy? Oh, all right. 304 00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:05,120 me meet my wife, Georgette. 305 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:10,340 Georgette? How do you do? A woman I'd much rather have than $250 ,000 a year. 306 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:12,079 Wouldn't you? 307 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,080 Yeah, Ted, yeah. 308 00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:14,340 Want to trade? 309 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:17,940 I'm sorry. 310 00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:22,400 Just testing Gordo. I mean, good job's coming to go. I mean, you're hot one 311 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,400 minute and you're down the next. 312 00:18:24,780 --> 00:18:27,780 But I'll always have this fine woman here. 313 00:18:29,060 --> 00:18:31,480 I know how you feel, Ted. I got a wife myself. 314 00:18:31,780 --> 00:18:32,780 You're a lucky man. 315 00:18:33,210 --> 00:18:34,210 Oh, you've got a wife, too? 316 00:18:34,550 --> 00:18:36,530 Yeah. Oh, I've got kids. I've got two kids. 317 00:18:37,990 --> 00:18:39,050 I've got children myself. 318 00:18:39,350 --> 00:18:40,350 How many? 319 00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:41,590 It doesn't matter. How many? 320 00:18:42,890 --> 00:18:43,890 Three. 321 00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,510 Do you have a match? 322 00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:51,330 Yeah, I think I do. Well, I've got a gold lighter. 323 00:18:57,410 --> 00:18:58,410 Tell us, Gordo. 324 00:18:58,810 --> 00:19:02,550 Tell us lowly creatures what it's like to be living on the top. 325 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,220 It's no different from your life, Ted. 326 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,180 Nothing special, no big deal. 327 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:11,020 Oh, well, I don't think you got your job the same way I got mine. I mean, we all 328 00:19:11,020 --> 00:19:12,260 know how those jobs are gotten. 329 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,520 Right, 330 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:17,560 boss? 331 00:19:18,780 --> 00:19:23,100 You know, Ted, when I told you before that my life is the same as yours, I was 332 00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:24,660 lying. It's better. 333 00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:28,980 Want to hear the terms of my contract, Ted? No, no, no. 334 00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:37,100 That's right, Ted. 335 00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:39,200 You know I get to work every day? 336 00:19:39,580 --> 00:19:42,500 Chauffeured limo. Chauffeured limo, Ted. 337 00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:44,020 That's right. 338 00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:47,180 And my picture hangs right next to Walter Cronkite. 339 00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:55,480 Oh, and about the clothes, Ted. 340 00:19:55,940 --> 00:19:58,600 You know we got to tie in with the clothing store. That's right, Ted. 341 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:00,279 Free clothes. 342 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,440 All my clothes are free. 343 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:04,800 I'm sorry. 344 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:06,540 He had it coming. 345 00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:10,680 You sure told him, honey. 346 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:21,680 Come on in, Ted. 347 00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:22,900 Sit down. 348 00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:24,860 Thanks for having us over, Mary. 349 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,380 I think Ted's feeling better already. 350 00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:28,980 My life is over. 351 00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:31,140 Ted. 352 00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:32,660 You're doing... 353 00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:34,130 Very well. 354 00:20:34,370 --> 00:20:35,650 You make a good living. 355 00:20:36,150 --> 00:20:37,150 You're a celebrity. 356 00:20:37,710 --> 00:20:39,050 You've won some awards. 357 00:20:39,490 --> 00:20:40,490 Six. 358 00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:43,490 Four. 359 00:20:43,630 --> 00:20:45,130 Four for news, two for bowling. 360 00:20:47,350 --> 00:20:48,710 A lot of good it's done me, though. 361 00:20:49,910 --> 00:20:52,070 Ted, I think I know what you're going through. 362 00:20:52,390 --> 00:20:55,710 No, you don't. No one ever knows what you're going through, and they say they 363 00:20:55,710 --> 00:20:56,730 know what you're going through. 364 00:20:57,610 --> 00:20:59,710 I say it all the time. I haven't got a clue. 365 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,540 you just let me take a shot at it. 366 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,720 I think you had a dream. 367 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:14,100 You dreamed that you started from nowhere and you made it all the way to 368 00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,100 top. 369 00:21:15,380 --> 00:21:19,120 Became rich, successful in every way, loved. 370 00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:26,260 And recently you've begun to become aware the time is slipping away and your 371 00:21:26,260 --> 00:21:29,040 life has turned out a little differently from the dream. 372 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:34,000 In fact, compared to the dream, you think your life isn't all that terrific. 373 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,860 And it's begun to bother you. 374 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,700 It's amazing, Mary. How did you know that was my problem? 375 00:21:42,780 --> 00:21:44,360 Ted, that's everybody's problem. 376 00:21:45,420 --> 00:21:46,840 I had a dream once. 377 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,680 I dreamed of becoming a ballerina. 378 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:57,240 Took so many classes. I practiced so hard in the hopes that one day I'd dance 379 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,140 with the finest ballet company. 380 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,220 and I'd win the cheers of audiences all over the world. 381 00:22:05,820 --> 00:22:11,340 So you wanted to be a world -famous dancer, and you wound up as a producer 382 00:22:11,340 --> 00:22:12,340 local news show. 383 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,080 That's right. 384 00:22:14,820 --> 00:22:16,200 Boy, you really blew it. 385 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:25,200 I mean, compared to you, I mean, how great. At least I'm an anchorman 386 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,220 That's right, Ted, you are. 387 00:22:28,590 --> 00:22:29,810 But you're not a dancer anywhere. 388 00:22:32,070 --> 00:22:34,010 Well, no, I'm not. 389 00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:35,750 Boy, you must feel rotten. 390 00:22:37,770 --> 00:22:38,950 Well, no. 391 00:22:39,570 --> 00:22:42,630 I mean, it must really eat you up. 392 00:22:44,430 --> 00:22:48,550 I mean, every day you have to say to yourself, I'm not a ballerina and I 393 00:22:48,550 --> 00:22:49,550 will be. 394 00:22:50,210 --> 00:22:52,310 No, I don't say that every day. 395 00:22:52,510 --> 00:22:53,950 Oh, you poor kid. 396 00:22:55,510 --> 00:22:59,260 Say. Sure, Ted, all of a sudden I feel a lot better about myself. 397 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:00,580 That's great, Ted. 398 00:23:01,180 --> 00:23:03,780 And I'm not even mad at Gordy anymore. I guess I never was. 399 00:23:04,860 --> 00:23:05,880 I was mad at life. 400 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,600 Because I thought it let me down, but it didn't let me down. It let Mary down. 401 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,000 Ted, I think we'd better be going. The sitter's waiting. 402 00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:16,260 All right, let's go. 403 00:23:16,540 --> 00:23:17,980 Thanks for cheering me up, Mary. 404 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,480 I hope Ted didn't say anything to upset you, Mary. 405 00:23:21,740 --> 00:23:22,740 No, no. 406 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:24,920 Don't forget. 31631

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