All language subtitles for mary_tyler_moore_s07e15_lous_army_reunion

Who can turn the world on with a smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all

seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it, love is all

need to waste it. You can have a town,
why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

Hi, Mary.

Hi, Georgette. How are you?

Fine. We just came from lunch.

Yeah, terrific place.

Great atmosphere.

Yeah, it was behind the car wash.

The food wasn't good, but the dishes
were spotless.

Actually, lunch was kind of a
celebration in honor of my raise.

What raise?

You haven't renegotiated your contract
yet. It's just a mere formality, Mary.

Lou's going to give me a raise this
year.

Oh, what makes you so sure?

Because I've got a new agent.

Someone who believes in me, cares about
my welfare.

Someone who's willing to march into
Lou's office and do battle for me.

Who's your new agent?

I am.

You're going to represent Ted?

Uh -huh. He's even paying me the
standard agent's fee, 1%. 1 %?

Uh, Georgette, you better be going home.

Oh, should I? Yeah, I'll see you later.
You go home and practice being tough.

Hi, Georgette. Hi, Lou.

Wait, I meant, hi, Lou.

What was that about?

Well, Lou, you know, my contract is up
for renegotiation.

And this year I've chosen to be
represented by a new agent.

Who?

Georgette.

Oh, no, Ted. I don't negotiate with
wives, especially Georgette. But, Lou...

That's final, Ted.

All right, all right.

Took her off to lunch for nothing.

Mary, I need a small favor. Can you sew?

Oh, not very well.

Would he need a button or something?

No, some alterations on my old army
uniform.

Nothing to it, nothing to it.

Just let out the jacket about three
inches and the pants about four.

Are you crazy?

Larry, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't
urgent.

Well, what's up, Lou?

You expecting a war?

Worse. My old army buddies have a
reunion every ten years, and this year

having it in Minneapolis, so I have to
show up. Mr. Grant, I am not a

seamstress. Well, I'm sorry.

I guess I'll have to try and let it out
myself.

I just want to tell you one thing, Mary.

If my pants fall down, it'll be on your
head.

Who is this?

Master Sergeant Lou Grant.

Ben Selwyn.

Hi.

Hey, I'm sorry. I wanted to take him
home after the reunion broke up, but he

wouldn't listen.

Mary, Ben and I had an argument.

Ben here said that there were no great
broads left in the world, and I said

there are.

Broads? You know, the kind a couple of
guys could pop in on in the middle of

night and she wouldn't get mad.

And the kind who would invite them in
and make them breakfast and sober them

Oh? And who might that be?

Ah, you know, Mary, you're a great
broad.

Broad, Mr.

Grant. Oh, come on, Mary.

Don't give me that.

Broad, Mr.

Grant.

That's a compliment.

It's three o 'clock in the morning.
Mary, you have a reputation to protect.

I never wanted a reputation as a great
broad.

Well, you got one now, so you better
live up to that.

Please, Mary, a soldier's honor is at
stake here.

So, what'll you two doughboys have?

Coffee'll be fine.

Great broad.

Yeah, isn't she?

Mary, would you believe it, but Ben
here...

Saved my life during the war.

I mean it.

If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be
sitting here right now.

Thanks a lot, Ben.

What happened was that I went AWOL. And
when they came around to take a bed

check, Ben here took care of it by
slipping under the covers.

But he never got back to his own bed in
time.

So they marked him AWOL.

and they threw him into the stockade.

Come on, Lou, it was nothing.

Nothing? Nothing?

Here I am. Mary?

Mary?

Mary? Yes?

Do you know who was in charge of that
stockade?

I haven't a clue.

Maurice the Ape.

ever saw. If you like guys with hair all
over their bodies, you would have loved

this guy.

I mean, he used to be able to hide
sandwiches in his chest.

Ooh, was he rotten.

Mean and rotten. You know, if he got a
guy that he didn't like, you know what

used to do to them?

Wake them up at three in the morning?

No. He used to lift them up and bang
their heads on the ceiling until

their brains got like scrambled eggs.
Mr. Grant, please.

All he ever did to me was break my nose
and loosen a couple of teeth.

For some reason, he liked me.

That was 30 years ago, Mary, and this
bum here still won't tell me how I can

him back.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you. Hey, hey, listen.

Yes, yes.

Listen. I realize.

that I was crazy breaking in on you like
this.

I guess I had a little too much to
drink.

Oh. Yeah.

And I wasn't thinking straight.

I'm really sorry.

But you're not mad at me, are you?

No. Are you sure you're not mad at me?
I'm sure I'm not mad at you. Oh, good.

All right, guys, come on in.

You know, I came in early this morning
and caught him trying to hide all the

typewriters.

Let's just make sure that nobody bothers
him today.

Oh, relax, man. Nobody around here is
going to be dumb enough to go near him.

Hi, guys. Blue Wind.

He must listen at the door.

Ted, would you hold it down? Mr. Grant
has a terrible hangover.

Hangover?

Terrific.

Terrific? Yeah.

Because I have to go in there and
negotiate with him.

And you have a much better chance of
getting whatever you want when the guy

you're negotiating with is at a
disadvantage.

Yeah, well, Ted, I don't think today is
a good day to talk to him about

anything. Oh, don't be silly. When am I
going to get another chance like this?

I came to negotiate.

Go away before I eat your face.

No, no, no, no, no. You wouldn't
negotiate with George S. You're going to

to negotiate with me, Lou.

Some other time, Ted. Now, Lou.

Okay, Ted, okay. We're soft.

Very soft.

Okay.

Now, in addition to more money, these
are some of the other things I want.

First, I want my dressing room
redecorated. And I don't just mean a

That's what you always give me, a paint
job.

This year, I want wallpaper.

A new rug, some Danish modern furniture,
and maybe a cat.

Okay, okay, it doesn't have to be a real
cat.

Say, you think we might be able to
discuss money, Lou?

Tell you what.

Suppose I change my mind.

Suppose I agree to negotiate with
Georgette like you wanted. When?

I'll see her this afternoon. You mean
it?

Thomas, if you leave now, quietly.

Okay. Thanks, Lou. I really appreciate
this. I'm so happy we made it to

I'm so happy.

What? I said, Yahoo!

What do you think, pal?

Hello, Ben. Lou?

some sensational news for you.

They're bringing back Prohibition?

I'm finally gonna let you off the hook.

I'm gonna let you pay me back for saving
your butt.

Oh.

Get me married.

Get you married?

What's that supposed to mean?

Hey, come on, pal. You're in the Army.
You don't need diagrams.

I'm sorry.

I can't.

Pal, you owe me this favor.

All you gotta do is ask her to go out
with me. That's all.

You... You just want me to ask her to go
out with you. That's all.

Well, okay, but if you want to go out
with her, why do you need me to ask her?

So put in a good word for me, Lou.

Soften her up. You know, it's like in
the army.

You pound them with your artillery until
their resistance is broken.

Then you send in the troops.

I don't want to pound Mary with
artillery.

Let me know what kind of a woman she is.

Oh, yes, I do, Lou.

Mary's different.

She's somebody special.

It's not like the girls I'm used to.

Don't worry, she wouldn't be just a one
-night stand.

You really mean that?

Absolutely. Marry someone I'd be proud
to take to Vegas for the weekend.

Mary back from lunch yet?

No, no, Lou. What's up?

Don't worry, I did a terrible thing.

I owe this old army buddy a favor. He
wants to go out with Mary tomorrow

and I said I'd ask her.

So what's wrong with that?

Oh, you don't know this guy.

He's a real make -out artist. During the
war, German women used to give him

nylons.

Oh, hey, uh, Mary.

Uh, are you, uh, busy tomorrow night?

No. You sure?

Yeah. But check you got it. Make sure.

Mr. Graham, what's this all about?

It's Ben. He finally figured out how he
wants me to pay him back. He wants me to

ask you to...

Go out with him tomorrow night.

After 30 years, that's all he wants?
Yeah, I knew you wouldn't be interested.

No, no, no, Mr. Grant. I wouldn't mind
going out with Ben. Not at all. I think

it's kind of flattering that that's the
way he'd like to be repaid.

You're sure?

Yeah. You really wouldn't enjoy
yourself, Mary.

Look, Ben isn't going to be in town all
that long. I'd be delighted to show him

a good time.

Hi, Mary.

Oh, hi, Georgette.

I've come to discuss Ted's raise with
Lou.

Frankly,

I'm a little scared. I've never done
anything like this before.

Oh, Georgette, don't be nervous.

I'm sure you'll do just fine.

Come in.

All right, sit down, Georgette.

Why don't we see if we can get this over
as quickly as possible?

Now, exactly what kind of a raise for
Ted did you have in mind?

Well, seeing as how we have two children
now and the apartment is kind of small,

we were thinking of maybe buying a
house. Georgette, I think I should tell

The station really can't afford much
money.

Oh.

Okay, goodbye.

Where are you going?

Well, if you don't have any money, we
really don't have to have a house.

Georgette.

That's just part of negotiating.

You always tell the other person you
can't afford to give them a raise, even

you can.

But that's lying.

No.

It's not lying. It's taking a firm
stance.

Oh. Yeah.

Well, then what am I supposed to say?

You're supposed to say that Ted has a
lot of other offers.

But Ted doesn't have any other offers.

So I guess we can't ask for a raise,
which means we can't get the house.

Unless I go back to work.

Mm -hmm.

But then I'll have to pay someone to
watch the children while I'm working.

But if I do that, then we'll just break
even, and Ted will have to ask for a

raise again, which he won't get because
he doesn't have any other offers. Poor

Ted.

Look, Georgette, I'll give Ted another 2
,000 bucks a year. How's that?

But you can't afford it. I don't want
the station to go into debt.

The station won't go into debt. They got
more money than they know what to do.

Okay, but only if you think it's fair.

Georgette, it's not a question of what I
think is fair. It's a question of what

we'll be able to agree upon. Do you
understand now?

Sure.

What do you think we should agree upon?

Look, I'm willing to give Ted another 4
,000 bucks a year, and that's my final

offer. Are you sure you don't want to go
back to two?

I might go to five.

Okay, we'll take the four.

Huh? Good.

That's good. Now, you go out there and
you buy yourself that little house.

Okay? Phew. Good.

Tim sure was right. Huh? You sure drive
a hard bargain.

Hey,

Mary, I had a... Great idea.

If you want me to get you out of that
date with Ben, then I know how to do it.

Mr. Grant, I don't mind going out with
Ben. Really.

Really, it's no trouble at all, Mary.
All I do is tell him a little white lie.

I'll say you fell down the elevator
shaft.

Mr. Grant, are you afraid that Ben might
make a pass at little me?

Something like that.

Oh, you were just born to be cute.

If anything happens to her on that date
tonight, I'll kill myself.

Oh, come on, Lou. I'm sure that Mary has
gone out with a lot of guys like Ben

before. No, not like this guy. When it
comes to women, he's an animal.

I thought this guy was your friend, Lou.
Oh, not exactly. Not exactly.

He's the kind of guy whose company you
don't enjoy, but you tolerate him.

Did you ever know anybody like that?

Great show, guys.

He must be listening at the door.

What's up?

Uh... nothing you'd be interested in,
Ted.

Oh, discussing the news?

No, no, Ted. It's man talk.

Man talk?

And I wouldn't be interested.

What am I, a puppy?

Mary, what is it?

Well, Lou's old army buddy is taking
Mary out tonight, and Lou's afraid of

might happen.

Hey, relax, Lou.

What's the worst thing Mary could do to
this guy?

Nothing.

I really had a great time.

Oh, Ben, so did I. Would you like some
brandy? Love it. Come on in.

Jesus, you're going home so soon.
Tomorrow, huh? Yeah, I'm beginning to

here. You know, Mary, this is really a
nice -looking apartment.

Oh, thank you. I haven't lived here very
long. The other place was nice, but it

was kind of small.

That's why I moved here. This one has a
bedroom.

Smart move.

Who could that be at this hour? Who is
it?

It's me, Lou.

Wonderful.

I hope I'm not interrupting anything. I
just happen to be downstairs.

Hi, Betty.

You just happen to be downstairs? Yeah,
sitting in my car.

And so you thought you'd just drop in?
Yeah, where are we drinking?

Mr. Grant, I don't want to be rude,
but... Oh, come on, Mary. Just a short

and then I'm leaving. I promise.

Hey. So, what did you two kids have for
dinner tonight?

I stopped at the drugstore. I had a veal
cutlet, but I had to send it back.

Do you know why?

No. Because I ordered rice pudding.

Hey, Ben, do you remember that cook we
had... Oh, Mr.

Grant, you made me spill...

Oh, it was an accident. I'll buy you
another bottle.

I better get out of this. Excuse me.

Don't put on anything special for me,
Mary. Make yourself comfortable.

A robe will be fine.

Mary?

Mary?

Put on what you wore the other day. The
tweed suit.

With the knickers.

Lou, what are you doing here?

I came by to see my old buddy. Well,
take off. You're ruining everything.

Oh, come on, Ben. Nothing's going to
happen and you know it. Are you nuts?

Mary's the kind I always look for. Never
been married. No steady boyfriend.

I'm telling you, she's a pushover. What
makes you think nothing's going to

happen? Just this.

Did I spill any brandy?

Mr. Grant?

I suppose you're going to say this is my
fault.

What happened?

I punched him.

Why? I have my reasons.

Mr. Grant.

Please leave my home.

Oh, come on, Mary.

I mean it, Mr. Grant. I'm not going to
tolerate violence in my own living room.

Actually, hitting someone, please get
out.

Why'd you hit me, Lou?

You had it coming.

Mary, he had plans for you, big plans.

That's no reason to hit somebody.

Mr. Grant, I am a big girl. I can take
care of myself.

Now, I don't...

were for this evening, but believe me,
if he was going to try anything, he

wasn't going to get away with it.
Nothing would have happened.

Nothing. Now, hold on a second, Mary.

Let's not be so definite about what
would have happened.

You may think nothing would have
happened, but you don't know that for

Well, excuse me, Ben, but it does take
two people to make something happen, and

since I am one of the people involved, I
think I can say with complete certainty

that I know nothing would have happened.

You may have been out with a lot of
guys, Mary, but you haven't been out

Ben Selwyn. You see, what Ben Selwyn
wants, Ben Selwyn gets.

Not from me, he doesn't. Listen, Mary, I
know your type.

Cool, prim, proper on the outside, but
inside a furnace.

Ten minutes, I would have you begging
for me.

Begging for you?

I think they're five minutes.

Easy, easy.

Ben, you better get out of here. I don't
know how much longer I can hold.

Thanks for a delightful evening, ma 'am.

No, I'll see you in ten years. Yeah,
yeah, yeah.

Why didn't you let me hit him? I was
afraid you might kill him.

One, that's all I wanted to... Come on,
come on, come on, come on, come on. Take

it easy, relax, relax.

He's gone.

That's better. That's better. Come on,
sit down.

You

okay?

Yeah.

You were really going to punch him,
weren't you?

You bet I was.

Of all the arrogant eagerness.

Ben Selwyn once, Ben Selwyn. Yes, I
should have knocked his block off.

And as for you, bursting in here like I
couldn't even take care of myself, who

do you think you are?

I think maybe I better be... Sit down!

You and I have to get something straight
here. No, Mary, Mary, you don't have to

say anything.

I know I owe you an apology for tonight.

I guess I look on you as kind of a
daughter, as someone who

needs protection. I know it's not that
way.

But in my eyes, you'll always be that
same wide -eyed, naive girl who

came into my office seven years ago
looking for a job.

I can't help it. That's just the way I
see you.

Sweet, innocent, vulnerable.

I just hope you'll understand.

Oh, I think I do.

I really, uh, I really better be going.

Good night, Mr. Grant.

Good night, Rocky.

You got Ted a $4 ,000 raise?

That's incredible.

Say, listen, Georgette, I was planning
on going in and asking Lou for a raise.

Do you think maybe you could be my agent
and ask him for me?

Oh, Murray, I wouldn't know what to say.

Well, he could just say the same things
you said for Ted. You know, if it works

for him, I'm sure it would work for me.

Well, okay.

Thanks. Murray. Yeah.

Here. Oh, look, can I speak to you for a
second?

Sure, Georgette. What is it? Well,
seeing as how Murray and I have two

now and the apartment is... You were
thinking of maybe buying a house? Of

course, if you don't have any money,
maybe you don't need a house.