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1
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Who can turn the world on with a smile?
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Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all
3
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:22,480
seem worthwhile?
4
00:00:22,780 --> 00:00:25,820
Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.
5
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:32,380
With each glance and every little
movement you show it, love is all
6
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:37,800
need to waste it. You can have the town,
why don't you take it?
7
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You're gonna make it after all.
8
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You're gonna make it after all.
9
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coffee. Hey, what's the matter?
10
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17 degrees out and the heater in my car
passed away.
11
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I'm sorry to hear that.
12
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Oh, that's good.
13
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Do you think anyone would mind if I
warmed my feet in it?
14
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Good morning.
15
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Good morning.
16
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Mary, what would you do if you were me
and you had to choose someone from the
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newsroom to go with you to the
broadcaster's convention?
18
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:36,640
Lou, you're kidding.
19
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I just ran out for the station manager.
20
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That's this weekend in California.
21
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Hollywood, to be exact.
22
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I heard yesterday it was 85 degrees.
23
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Oh, somewhere in the world it's 85
degrees.
24
00:01:52,140 --> 00:01:55,100
Well, Murray, who should I choose to go
with me?
25
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,180
Well, gee, Lou, that's pretty tough.
26
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Well, I think you should be as impartial
as is humanly possible. Consider
27
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,440
everything, and when you're through...
28
00:02:06,830 --> 00:02:08,289
Pick the person with the least hair.
29
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Sounds fair to me.
30
00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:15,010
Mr. Grant, I would be perfectly willing
to shave my head.
31
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,670
I'm only teasing, Mary.
32
00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:25,430
I have here in my little palm three
tickets for an all -expense -paid
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Los Angeles.
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One for you, one for Murray, and one for
me. Oh, this is sensational.
35
00:02:32,070 --> 00:02:32,909
I can't wait.
36
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We'll leave Friday night right after the
news.
37
00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:41,940
Hi, Ted.
38
00:02:42,060 --> 00:02:43,060
Where are we going?
39
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,380
Hey, everybody, look who's here.
40
00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:46,620
Lucky Ted.
41
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:50,240
Yeah, Lucky Ted. Why am I lucky?
42
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You're lucky because you don't have to
come with us to hot, damp,
43
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sticky, smoggy L .A. to be at some
stupid broadcaster's convention. Oh, no,
44
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no, no. Oh, you promised. The next time
there's a freebie.
45
00:03:05,930 --> 00:03:09,570
That I would go, and this is the next
time, Lou. Oh, Ted, come on. Get on it.
46
00:03:09,730 --> 00:03:12,050
Lou, you promised. Don't break your
promise.
47
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Please.
48
00:03:16,490 --> 00:03:17,490
You're right.
49
00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:19,670
I promised.
50
00:03:20,690 --> 00:03:23,330
Okay, Ted, here's my ticket. I hope
you're happy.
51
00:03:24,110 --> 00:03:25,110
Thanks, Lou.
52
00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:29,090
Hey, won't that be fun? The three of us?
53
00:03:39,909 --> 00:03:41,770
Yes, operator, I'd like to call
Minneapolis.
54
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The area code is 612.
55
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The phone number is 555 -3727.
56
00:03:49,790 --> 00:03:50,790
Yes, I'll hold it.
57
00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:55,510
What are you doing, Ted?
58
00:03:55,990 --> 00:03:57,090
Taping out the keyhole.
59
00:03:57,810 --> 00:04:00,090
I don't want anybody peeking while I'm
undressing.
60
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,630
Ted, Mary's in that room.
61
00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:06,570
All the more reason. Who knows how long
she's been waiting for this chance.
62
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:12,340
Now, listen, honey, I want you to kiss
all the kids goodnight for me.
63
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,600
Yeah, and lock all the windows before
you go to bed at night.
64
00:04:16,019 --> 00:04:20,040
Yeah, and, uh, well, look, if you hear
any noises, call me. I'll come right
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00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:21,040
home.
66
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:22,880
Goodnight, honey.
67
00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:27,200
Are you homesick already, Murray?
68
00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:29,100
I am not homesick.
69
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,840
Look, just because a guy calls his
family doesn't mean he's homesick, Ted.
70
00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:35,980
All it means is that he's concerned.
71
00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:37,640
There's nothing wrong with that.
72
00:04:38,030 --> 00:04:39,310
Mind leaving a little room for me?
73
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,570
Sorry.
74
00:04:47,110 --> 00:04:48,110
I'll get it.
75
00:04:49,090 --> 00:04:50,130
Oh, hiya, ma 'am. Hi.
76
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,190
Murray, say hello to Whitney Lewis.
77
00:04:52,470 --> 00:04:54,190
Hi. This is Murray Slaughter, our
writer.
78
00:04:54,430 --> 00:04:57,350
Hi. Hi, nice to meet you. And this is
Ted Baxter, our anchorman.
79
00:04:57,790 --> 00:04:58,790
How do you do?
80
00:05:00,789 --> 00:05:03,670
Whitney's a freelance writer. She's
covering the convention for one of the L
81
00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:07,210
papers. I was hoping to be able to talk
you guys into giving me an interview
82
00:05:07,210 --> 00:05:08,630
this evening. Isn't that great?
83
00:05:08,870 --> 00:05:09,809
Hey, it's horrific.
84
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:13,710
I'm doing an article about the headaches
of putting on a local news show. Well,
85
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,090
if anyone knows about those, I do.
86
00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:16,670
Right. He's one of our biggest.
87
00:05:18,290 --> 00:05:21,050
Why don't you two meet us in the lounge
and we'll do the interview over a drink?
88
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:23,930
Oh, great. We'll be there in a couple of
minutes. I still have a few pictures to
89
00:05:23,930 --> 00:05:27,970
unpack. Well, nice to meet you. Yes,
thank you. I'll be looking forward to
90
00:05:28,090 --> 00:05:29,090
Right.
91
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,640
Even the writers out here look healthy.
92
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,240
Murray. What?
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That woman wants me.
94
00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:44,280
What are you talking about, Ted?
95
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,280
Whitney is hot to trot.
96
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,420
Hey, Ted, you're nuts.
97
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:52,600
Murray, when she shook my hand, she gave
a little extra squeeze.
98
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:54,620
I don't know what that means.
99
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:58,140
Sure. She wants to pump some blood to
your brain.
100
00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:02,540
I'm telling you, she wants me. Oh.
101
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:04,440
Hey, Ted, will you do me a favor?
102
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:09,500
Listen, I want you to close your eyes
and try to form a mental image of that
103
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,260
girl in your head. Is this a game? Yeah.
104
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,520
You got it? Oh, yeah. Good.
105
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,720
Now, I want you to form a mental image
of yourself.
106
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:19,720
You got it?
107
00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:26,900
Good. Now, I want you to put those two
mental images together and tell me
108
00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:30,740
honestly, Ted, what is wrong with that
picture?
109
00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:34,480
There's absolutely nothing wrong with
that picture.
110
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:35,920
Now, wait a minute. Now there is.
111
00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:38,400
Georgette just walked into it with her
lawyer.
112
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:46,360
Yeah, well, I miss you too, honey.
113
00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,980
And I love you very much.
114
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,380
Look, if she starts to cough again, call
me. I'll come right home.
115
00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:56,180
Goodbye.
116
00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,120
My cat has a furball.
117
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,480
I guess we're a pretty dull interview.
118
00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:08,500
Oh, no, not at all. I've got a lot of
disgust here.
119
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,140
I almost forgot the funniest story of
all.
120
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,440
Murray, you remember the time the film
car broke down and we couldn't get to
121
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:19,020
story, so we had to send the crew on the
bus? I remember that. That was
122
00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:20,020
hilarious.
123
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,840
Yeah? What happened?
124
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Well, that was it.
125
00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:30,060
We couldn't get the crew to... Well, you
know, I guess it's just funny compared
126
00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:31,060
to the other stories.
127
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,310
Well, like... I said I've got a lot of
good stuff here.
128
00:07:34,770 --> 00:07:38,310
I just have a few more questions I'd
like to ask Ted. Sure.
129
00:07:38,670 --> 00:07:41,730
Ted, how did you become an anchorman?
130
00:07:43,950 --> 00:07:48,030
It all started in a small $5 ,000 radio
station in Fresno, California.
131
00:07:48,570 --> 00:07:49,890
Mary, would you like to dance?
132
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,890
Murray, I would like to dance, even if
there were no music.
133
00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:55,630
Good. If you had said no, I would have
danced alone.
134
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:57,750
Here's a... Oh, sure.
135
00:07:59,390 --> 00:08:00,830
You were saying, Ted...
136
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,640
Well, actually, when I first started, I
had no idea of becoming a TV newsman.
137
00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,340
I wanted to be a disc jockey.
138
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,380
What made you change your mind?
139
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:10,680
God.
140
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:16,400
I had this dream where he told me I was
too good -looking for radio.
141
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,600
Well, he's right.
142
00:08:20,260 --> 00:08:21,860
You are an attractive man.
143
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:23,720
Thanks.
144
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:26,540
Well, you don't want to argue with the
big guy.
145
00:08:28,460 --> 00:08:29,460
Listen, Ted.
146
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:33,460
Would you be available for an in -depth
interview while you're out here this
147
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weekend? In -depth?
148
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,140
Yes.
149
00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:37,419
Maybe tomorrow.
150
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,480
Someplace where we'd have less
distractions.
151
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:47,680
Someplace where I could really get to
know Ted Baxter, the man.
152
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:49,820
Okay.
153
00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:53,340
But not in the morning. I may go to
Disneyland.
154
00:08:55,780 --> 00:08:58,580
Tomorrow night will be just fine. Fine.
155
00:08:58,890 --> 00:08:59,890
By where?
156
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,250
Oh, I don't know.
157
00:09:01,890 --> 00:09:03,290
How about your room?
158
00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:07,870
My room?
159
00:09:09,410 --> 00:09:12,250
I think that way we'd both be less
inhibited.
160
00:09:13,390 --> 00:09:17,290
I'd like to find out what makes Ted
Baxter tick.
161
00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:19,570
What he thinks about.
162
00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:22,550
What turns him on.
163
00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:27,530
Well, I can tell you right now what
turns him on.
164
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,180
It's the way you've got your hand on his
knee.
165
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,080
Isn't that funny?
166
00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:46,960
I didn't even realize I had my hand on
your knee.
167
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:49,220
Well, you do.
168
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,460
In fact, it's still there.
169
00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:16,290
What I think may be the most memorable
interview either one of us has ever had.
170
00:10:18,950 --> 00:10:19,909
How's it going?
171
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:20,910
Oh, just fine.
172
00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:24,310
Ted and I are going to get together
tomorrow and finish what we started
173
00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:25,650
Murray? Yeah?
174
00:10:26,430 --> 00:10:29,910
She wants to interview me in depth.
175
00:10:30,190 --> 00:10:32,170
You won't need your scuba gear for that
one.
176
00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:37,930
Well, excuse me. I'm sure you're all
exhausted from your trip. And there's a
177
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:40,750
people with the convention I still have
to interview before it gets too late.
178
00:10:41,290 --> 00:10:42,310
So I'll say goodnight.
179
00:10:42,790 --> 00:10:44,110
I'll be in touch with you, Ted.
180
00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:47,890
Mary, thanks for everything. Oh, thank
you. It was our pleasure.
181
00:10:48,150 --> 00:10:49,230
Goodnight now. Goodnight.
182
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,050
Gee,
183
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:53,090
she's nice, isn't she? Yeah.
184
00:10:53,590 --> 00:10:56,430
Nice? That woman just hit on me, Mary.
185
00:10:56,970 --> 00:10:59,610
Hit on you, Ted? She's warm for my form.
186
00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:07,330
Ted, you're crazy. He told me the same
thing in the room.
187
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:08,630
You guys don't believe me?
188
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:10,480
That woman wants my body.
189
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,560
Ted, if she was a grave robber, she
wouldn't want your body.
190
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:17,780
That's not funny, Mary.
191
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,200
And I'm not lying.
192
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,960
I tell you what she said, but I'm afraid
to say it in mixed company.
193
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:25,460
Okay, Ted.
194
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:26,880
What did she say?
195
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:32,480
She said she wanted to interview me in
my room.
196
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,200
Tell me what that means, Mary.
197
00:11:36,970 --> 00:11:38,890
It means she doesn't want to be seen
with you in public.
198
00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:44,470
Okay, wise guy.
199
00:11:45,190 --> 00:11:46,650
She touched my knee.
200
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:51,870
Oh, Ted, come on. People touch people.
It doesn't necessarily mean anything.
201
00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:53,570
Mary, wise up. This is Hollywood.
202
00:11:54,890 --> 00:11:56,690
Wild parties, orgies, whips.
203
00:11:58,970 --> 00:12:01,770
People don't come here just for the
oranges, you know.
204
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,510
Do you know what your trouble is, Ted?
205
00:12:05,020 --> 00:12:07,260
You believe all those things about
Hollywood.
206
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,700
Now, trust me, it's just the town like
any other.
207
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,200
The people are no different here than
any other place.
208
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,400
Yeah, I guess you're right.
209
00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:18,680
Excuse me, sir. Yeah?
210
00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:20,060
Would you like to dance?
211
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,500
I wondered what time you wanted to meet
tomorrow night.
212
00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:48,820
Anytime you say.
213
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,260
Let's make it early, huh?
214
00:12:50,460 --> 00:12:53,100
Say, uh, around eight? If it's no
problem.
215
00:12:53,380 --> 00:12:54,640
No problem. I'm all yours.
216
00:12:55,380 --> 00:12:57,140
That's what I was hoping for.
217
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,080
Oh, yeah. That's right.
218
00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:03,580
Murray, she's hitting on me again.
219
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:07,280
Ted, if you don't go to sleep, I'm going
to start hitting on you.
220
00:13:08,340 --> 00:13:12,480
I don't know what it is about you that
attracted me to you so quickly.
221
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,840
Maybe it's that fantastic silver hair of
yours.
222
00:13:18,620 --> 00:13:20,160
Murray, she's a hair freak.
223
00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:24,540
Well, if you get a skin freak, wake me.
224
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:26,960
Listen, listen.
225
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:32,220
I'm sorry I couldn't hear you. I was
clipping my toenail.
226
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,380
I thought I should let you know how I
felt.
227
00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:49,920
Uh, excuse me. Someone's knocking on the
door.
228
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:57,500
What is it?
229
00:13:57,820 --> 00:13:58,820
Whitney's on the phone.
230
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:00,080
Oh, really?
231
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,420
Uh, that was just the maid. She wanted
to turn my bed down.
232
00:14:30,990 --> 00:14:33,730
You heard her, Murray. That beautiful
woman wants me.
233
00:14:34,230 --> 00:14:35,350
What do you say now?
234
00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:38,770
There is no God.
235
00:14:45,390 --> 00:14:47,730
Come on, Murray. Don't leave me alone.
236
00:14:47,990 --> 00:14:49,470
I'm sorry, Ted. I've got to get home.
237
00:14:49,790 --> 00:14:53,190
You can't be that homesick that you
can't stay one more day. It has nothing
238
00:14:53,190 --> 00:14:54,870
do with homesick. It's an emergency.
239
00:14:55,490 --> 00:14:57,450
My kid's hamster is lethargic.
240
00:14:59,910 --> 00:15:02,810
Murray, the only... reason I told
Whitney it was okay to come tonight was
241
00:15:02,810 --> 00:15:06,630
because you'd be here. If you go, who's
going to save me? Save you from what?
242
00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:07,689
From myself.
243
00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:09,770
You're a man. You can understand what
I'm going through.
244
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:15,930
I want to be true to Georgette, but how
many times in a man's life does he get a
245
00:15:15,930 --> 00:15:17,130
shot at a girl like Whitney?
246
00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:19,130
May never happen again.
247
00:15:20,010 --> 00:15:21,230
Sure never happened before.
248
00:15:23,230 --> 00:15:25,830
I know that may come as a shock to you,
Murray.
249
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,960
And I know you figure a guy as good
-looking as me has probably got chicks
250
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,060
crawling all over him.
251
00:15:32,260 --> 00:15:34,820
For some strange reason, it never
happened to me.
252
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:41,580
Closest I ever came to having a
beautiful girl go for me was when I was
253
00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:42,580
school.
254
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:44,660
Mona Esposito.
255
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:47,860
A good -looking girl.
256
00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:49,820
Fantastic.
257
00:15:50,780 --> 00:15:53,540
One night I must have been upcouraged to
ask her to go for a drive.
258
00:15:54,460 --> 00:15:55,460
Took up a...
259
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:56,620
Dark, deserted road.
260
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,280
When we were in the middle of nowhere, I
pulled over to the side and I told her
261
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,280
we were out of gas.
262
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:02,480
What happened?
263
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:03,840
Nothing.
264
00:16:04,940 --> 00:16:07,160
By the time I got back with the gas, she
was gone.
265
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:13,240
Mary!
266
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,080
I'm leaving now.
267
00:16:16,580 --> 00:16:18,140
I just want to say goodbye.
268
00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:22,480
Oh, right. Yeah, okay. See you at the
office on Monday. I wouldn't leave if I
269
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,640
didn't have to. No, no, of course not.
270
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:26,660
Hope your hamster feels better.
271
00:16:27,860 --> 00:16:28,920
Mary, make him stay.
272
00:16:29,220 --> 00:16:32,080
Ted, look, I already told Marie I was
going home. I'll see you Monday.
273
00:16:32,380 --> 00:16:33,720
Well, then give me some advice, Marie.
274
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,480
How can I tell Whitney I'm not
interested?
275
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:38,520
What are you asking me for?
276
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,200
I had a hard enough time telling that
guy I didn't want a cha -cha.
277
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,540
Mary? Mary, don't leave me alone.
278
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,260
Well, Ted, I'm sorry, but I have a
dinner date. Well, I don't know if I can
279
00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:50,260
resist temptation.
280
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:52,280
I'm not sure how I'm going to behave
with Whitney.
281
00:16:53,550 --> 00:16:55,110
I can't believe what I'm hearing.
282
00:16:55,450 --> 00:16:57,230
Well, I can't help it, Mary. I'm a weak
person.
283
00:16:58,710 --> 00:17:00,210
And she's a really beautiful woman.
284
00:17:00,570 --> 00:17:01,570
Really beautiful, Mary.
285
00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:05,270
Now, don't take this the wrong way, but
she makes you look like a dog.
286
00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:10,608
I'm sorry.
287
00:17:10,609 --> 00:17:11,549
I'm sorry.
288
00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:12,550
I'm sorry, Mary.
289
00:17:13,150 --> 00:17:16,410
Remember, you introduced me to her. I
mean, if anything happens, it's your
290
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,930
fault. Dad, what do you want me to do?
291
00:17:18,369 --> 00:17:20,990
Save me for myself. Tell me how wrong it
will be.
292
00:17:22,060 --> 00:17:23,940
Mary, really lay it on me, please.
293
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:26,359
All right.
294
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:27,880
It would be bad.
295
00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:29,700
Really bad.
296
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:31,920
Despicable.
297
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:34,420
Probably the worst thing you ever did in
your life.
298
00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:36,300
And you'll burn in hell.
299
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,080
You're going to have to do a lot better
than that, Mary.
300
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,460
Just one more thing.
301
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:49,000
What would you do if you were married
and something like this happened to you?
302
00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:50,780
Ted, I... Mary, please.
303
00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:54,720
All right, all right. If I were married
and some man made the kind of
304
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,840
advantage... Oh, no, no, no. Not just
some man.
305
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,820
Let's say it was Robert Redford.
306
00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:05,320
Robert Redford?
307
00:18:05,580 --> 00:18:09,420
By the way, Mary Whitney also makes him
look like a bow -wow.
308
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,320
All right, Ted, all right. Even if it
were Robert Redford.
309
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,880
I'm sure I would just tell him straight
out. I would say, Robert...
310
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,400
It has to be Robert Redford.
311
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,340
He's telling you he wants you.
312
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,140
He needs you.
313
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,000
You start sniveling on your ear.
314
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,920
Gives you little bites on the back of
the neck.
315
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,580
What would you do then?
316
00:18:40,060 --> 00:18:41,940
Who did you say I was married to?
317
00:18:42,980 --> 00:18:46,680
See, it isn't easy, is it? Aw, Ted, come
on.
318
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:48,520
Who is it?
319
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,620
It's Whitney, Pat.
320
00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:54,160
Mary, it's her. Please, what will I do?
Ted, I can't be your conscience for you.
321
00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:56,160
You're just going to have to be a man
and do what's right.
322
00:18:56,380 --> 00:19:00,140
Okay, okay, I'll be a man. I'll do
what's right. Just do me one favor.
323
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:01,940
Listen at the keyhole.
324
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:07,140
If you hear me starting to enjoy myself,
wait ten minutes, then break the door
325
00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:08,140
down.
326
00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:26,780
Interview? Oh, sure.
327
00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:32,260
Can I go get you a typewriter?
328
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,620
You know that won't be necessary.
329
00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:53,080
Excuse me.
330
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:54,440
I've got someone here.
331
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,040
In the next room, I have to check. I've
got a high fever.
332
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:58,600
Almost as high as mine.
333
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:02,440
Dad, for crying out loud.
334
00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:05,260
Relax, Mary. I've already got more than
I can handle.
335
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:11,820
Dad, you get out of here this instant.
She kissed me, Mary.
336
00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:16,320
I'm a weak person. Please help me. I
love Georgette, but that girl in there
337
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,320
could kiss for a living.
338
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:23,180
Dad, if you really love Georgette... I
do, I do. Then just tell her you're
339
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,180
sorry.
340
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,620
business appointment in half an hour.
Where?
341
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,760
I don't know where, Ted. It doesn't
matter where.
342
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,440
Anywhere. Okay.
343
00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:34,900
Okay. Business appointment anywhere.
344
00:20:35,340 --> 00:20:36,340
Okay.
345
00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:38,940
Is everything okay?
346
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:44,680
Oh, fine. Fine. I just remembered that I
have a very important business
347
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,080
engagement in half an hour.
348
00:20:46,420 --> 00:20:50,700
Oh, can't you break it? Well, I'm afraid
not.
349
00:20:50,940 --> 00:20:53,300
I mean, business is business.
350
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:54,960
Well.
351
00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:57,750
Okay, that's the way it has to be.
352
00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,610
That's the way it has to be.
353
00:20:59,930 --> 00:21:02,310
Well, that's the way it is. I mean,
that's the way it goes.
354
00:21:03,450 --> 00:21:04,450
What are you going to do?
355
00:21:05,110 --> 00:21:07,150
I mean, that's the way the cookie
crumbles.
356
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:11,130
Well, I'd better check on my friend.
It's time to take the thermometer out.
357
00:21:15,210 --> 00:21:17,850
Mary, it worked. Good.
358
00:21:18,530 --> 00:21:21,470
I told her I had a business appointment
and she bought it. Fine, fine.
359
00:21:22,270 --> 00:21:23,270
Naturally, she's disappointed.
360
00:21:23,530 --> 00:21:27,370
What woman wouldn't be? Ted, if you
don't mind, I am trying to get dressed.
361
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:29,990
right, right. Mary, thanks. I'm really
grateful.
362
00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:33,130
I'll do the same for you if Robert
Redford ever gets the hot.
363
00:21:37,590 --> 00:21:38,590
Hi.
364
00:21:42,430 --> 00:21:43,510
You're not feeling well?
365
00:21:52,810 --> 00:21:55,310
You did say we only had a half hour.
366
00:21:58,550 --> 00:22:00,650
Excuse me, I think my friend is dying.
367
00:22:01,790 --> 00:22:02,790
Ted!
368
00:22:03,010 --> 00:22:04,010
Yes?
369
00:22:04,330 --> 00:22:05,530
What about me?
370
00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:09,370
Oh, I'm sorry, my friend can't have any
visitors.
371
00:22:11,370 --> 00:22:13,070
That's not what I meant, Ted.
372
00:22:15,790 --> 00:22:19,390
Hey, Whitney, there's something I've got
to tell you.
373
00:22:20,010 --> 00:22:21,110
Yes, Ted?
374
00:22:22,540 --> 00:22:28,760
I mean, you're... You're a beautiful
woman, and I appreciate the fact that
375
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,300
you're... You're attracted to me.
376
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:38,480
I'm a married man.
377
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:42,240
And I have a wonderful wife.
378
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:48,620
And I love... And I love her more than
anything else in the whole world.
379
00:22:54,449 --> 00:22:56,350
I can't make whoopee with you.
380
00:22:57,270 --> 00:23:00,630
I mean, I wish I could, but I can't. I
can, you know, but I can't.
381
00:23:05,750 --> 00:23:08,370
You have no idea how much I wish I
could.
382
00:23:10,130 --> 00:23:15,150
But I... I made a vow to be faithful,
and I'm not gonna break that vow for any
383
00:23:15,150 --> 00:23:16,150
woman, even you.
384
00:23:17,750 --> 00:23:18,750
You know, Ted,
385
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,060
You're quite a guy.
386
00:23:21,340 --> 00:23:22,340
Yeah, I'm quite a guy.
387
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:27,560
You're not mad at me, are you?
388
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:29,700
No, Ted.
389
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:36,340
Well... It was nice meeting you,
Whitney.
390
00:23:37,780 --> 00:23:40,880
And it was nice doing whatever it was we
didn't do.
391
00:23:43,420 --> 00:23:45,760
Listen, I... I'll never forget tonight.
392
00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:50,420
I... It'll remain something very special
to me always.
393
00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:53,520
And you're a wonderful woman to be so
kind and understanding.
394
00:23:53,980 --> 00:23:58,860
And if you're ever in Minneapolis,
please stay away from my house.
395
00:24:01,620 --> 00:24:02,620
Mary,
396
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,160
everything's fine.
397
00:24:11,620 --> 00:24:12,620
Straightened out, perfect.
398
00:24:12,820 --> 00:24:17,280
Good, good. Ted, I'd like you to meet
Jim Sutton. This is Ted Baxter, our
399
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:18,420
anchorman. Hi. Hi.
400
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,840
You're going out with one of the
greatest ladies in the world.
401
00:24:22,660 --> 00:24:27,600
She's sweet, she's kind, helpful, a real
angel.
402
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,740
Thanks, Mary. Oh, Ted, don't mention it.
I'll see you in the morning. Oh,
403
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:35,780
there's just one more thing. Yes, Ted.
If Whitney comes back, can I sleep with
404
00:24:35,780 --> 00:24:36,780
you tonight?
31436
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