All language subtitles for mary_tyler_moore_s05e19_the_shame_of_the_cities

Who can turn the world on with her
smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it. Love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can never tell,
why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

Here's your humorous filler for tonight.

I don't get this.

Never mind.

Explain it to me. I want to know. I want
to understand.

Explain it to me.

Firemen are supposed to put out fires,
but their building burned down.

Probably an accident.

Oh, say, Luke.

Luke, I'd like to talk to you about my
blazers.

What about your blazer? Well, don't you
think it's about time I got a new one?

Something in keeping with my
personality?

Oh, sure, Ted.

How about a white canvas one with long
sleeves that buckle behind your back?

See, if you want anything around here,
all you have to do is ask for it.

Mr. Grant.

I called you in here because I wanted to
apologize for snarling at Ted.

Tell Ted I'm sorry.

Well, why don't you tell him?

I'm not that sorry.

No, it's just that I'm in a lousy mood
today.

I was reading a paper this morning and
saw something about a friend of mine in

Detroit that really made me mad.

He was doing an article on some mobster
and somebody took a shot at him. Oh,

gee, that's terrible. Yeah, why couldn't
it have been me they shot at?

Nobody ever shoots at me.

There was a time when I was out there
digging for news, too.

I was one heck of a reporter.

I was really good.

Maytime Magazine.

Under Press.

Detroit's Grant.

A taste for booze and those for news.

Oh, listen, what you do here is pretty
important, too, you know. Yeah, all we

around here is just rip the news out of
a wire service machine.

In those days, I used to go out and get
it for myself.

I'll bet you were some reporter, too.

You want to see something?

You know what this is?

Well, it looks like an old, dusty,
broken -down typewriter.

Yeah, but it's not just any old, dirty,
broken -down, dusty typewriter.

This is my grandfather's typewriter.

Was he a newsman, too?

No, a pharmacist.

He banged out a lot of pill labels on
this baby.

on it, too.

I ever tell you about the time they
threatened to kill me?

Really? I was working in Chicago.

I was doing a story on racketeers and
the nightclub business.

And these two gorillas came up to me and
they said, Grant, drop this story

or tonight you'll be sleeping with the
fishes.

What'd you do?

I dropped the story. I didn't want to
sleep with no fishes.

I know. I printed a story.

Boy, those were great days.

I really thought I was doing something
useful, something worthwhile.

Now look at me.

The only thing I've got to do around
here is pick out new blazers for Ted.

Well, Mr. Green, if you miss reporting
so much, why don't you do some?

I mean, now that I'm producer of the
news, you've got some spare time. Why

you take advantage of it?

I'm just like this old typewriter here.

My keys stick.

My ribbon's all faded.

My insides are clogged with gook.

Oh, Mr. Grant, that's not true.

A little oil, new ribbon, a couple
screws tightened, you'll both be good as

Well, you'll be uncovering so much crime
and corruption, your life won't be

worth a plug nickel.

You really think so?

been sleeping? Uh, no, no, no. I must
have just dozed off while lying in bed.

Gee, you know, we're sorry. It never
occurred to us that you'd be asleep at 9

.30. Yeah, well, no, usually I'm not. I
haven't been to bed by 9 .30 in years.

Usually I stay up, you know, during the
week till 11, 11 .30, most of the time.

Gee, even on school nights?

stay. I'll fix some coffee.

Mary, you won't believe what I've got in
a folder.

A guy over at Democratic Party
headquarters gave me their files on

contributions in this whole area.

Now, I'll bet you somewhere in here,
there's dynamite.

All you've got to do is find it.

Me? Yeah, I have to have them back there
by midnight.

Now, why don't you and Charlene go
through them? There's another lead I

follow up.

I got to meet this ex -con in a pool
hall.

Why are you so excited?

You know how long it's been since I met
an ex -con in a pool hall?

Well, listen, what exactly are we
supposed to be looking for?

Just make a list of who gave what to
whom, who got what from whom, and who

what for whom. But, Mr. Grant... Forget
it, Mary.

Just be thankful he doesn't want
pictures of everybody getting it and

and giving it.

Okay.

Let's hear what everybody's got. Mary.

Well, Mr. Grant, after two weeks, what
I've gotten mostly is discouraged.

Me too. I have never seen so many honest
elections.

Boy, it really makes you feel proud.

So, can I join you?

This doesn't concern you, Ted.

Oh.

Well, maybe you two haven't come up with
anything.

But good old -fashioned legwork paid
off.

I think I found our man right here.

Oh, I like him. He's perfect.

Can I be the one to tell Teddy's fired?

Never mind the jokes.

This is Charles Hartney, councilman from
the 17th ward and quite possibly the

next candidate for governor.

Why doesn't it concern me, though?

Because it's just for newsroom staff,
Ted.

Oh.

and this guy strikes me as the kind of
subject we're looking for.

Oh, God.

Well, I've never heard a word against
Hartman. And he's got an honest face.

Oh, I know that sounds dumb.

I mean, you can't tell a crook by his
face, but this guy looks like... Well,

he's got the kind of face that people
would look at and... What are you

Murray? I voted for him.

So did a lot of people.

And I'll admit, his record looks clean.

But I've heard a couple of rumors.

I'm newsroom staff, so this does concern
me.

Mind like a steel trap.

Are you guys planning a surprise party
for me?

Ted, will you please get out of here?

Hey, I know that guy. Harkness, Harkley
or something. He's a politician.

Should we invite him to the party?

You can't fool me. I don't know,
Harkley. Ted, believe me, what we're

really doesn't concern you. Yes, it does
concern me, Lou. I want to know what's

going on, or I tell.

Tell who?

Him. Tell him what?

Why should I tell you?

All right, all right. If you want to
stay, stay.

But this is top secret, so you be quiet.

I don't even remember being here.

I think he means it.

have you heard about harkening? Well, at
this point, it's just innuendo, but

I've got a newsman's hunch.

Something smells funny to me about his
campaign, and we're gonna root it out.

Uh -huh.

We're gonna dig deep.

And the first thing that means is that
we're subject to counterattack.

We've gotta be clean.

So if any of us has anything in his
background that could compromise our

investigation, I wanna know about it
now.

Not me.

Murray.

Well, uh...

Lou, when I was in college, I belonged
to this organization and was arrested

once during this demonstration.

A

left

-wing riot?

No. A fraternity panty raid.

A panty raid.

And all I got was a pair of sweat socks.

Lou, I'm pretty clean.

Unless you count swinging.

I do.

I'm clean.

Okay, okay.

So we go get the facts. A full -scale
investigation.

Now, that'll mean long hours, hard work.

And I want to warn you.

This is a rough game.

It could mean threats, intimidation.

Maybe even physical violence.

Well, it's like you said, love. It
doesn't concern me. It doesn't concern

Mary, I'm expecting a visitor.

An important one. All right, I'll buzz
you when he gets here. What's his name?

This kind of guy, you don't ask his
name.

He's what we call a source.

He provides information for money.

If anyone's got the goods on Harkney, he
does.

You mean you're paying for information?

It's a last resort, Mary.

I'm starting to get a little
discouraged.

For the past three weeks, I've checked
out Harkney's income tax records, his

campaign finance statements, his
investments, and so far I haven't found

thing to write about.

The first day I took out my old
typewriter, I spent a half hour cleaning

keys. They're still clean.

I have to keep my keys clean.

Otherwise the E's start looking like
O's.

And before you know it, Ted's announcing
that the cops have arrested a pooping

Tom.

I'm looking for Lou Grant.

My name is... That's all right. I don't
have to know.

Hiya, Jack. Oh, good to see you, Lou.

I got the information you wanted. I
added a one -page summary.

Everything in a nutshell.

This is it, Mary, our million -dollar
story.

Oh, it's 25 bucks, Lou.

25 bucks? That's all you want?

Oh, I didn't do it for money, Lou. I did
it for old time's sake. And just enough

money to cover the Xerox expenses.

Oh, hey, thanks, Jack. That's terrific
of you. That's terrific.

25 bucks.

Yeah. Uh, 25.

I'm a little short.

Uh, eight. Mary? Yeah, I'll look.

You take a check?

Oh, hey, you've been out of business a
long time.

Five. Five.

That makes 13.

Ted, have you got 12 bucks?

Yes.

Give me 12 bucks, quick. What is this,
the educational channel?

Like I said, that'd be terrific.

Mr. Grant, what? What is it?

I kill myself investigating a
politician.

And who do I pick?

A man who's totally honest.

You want to hear the only black mark
against this clown?

Listen to this.

In April 1965...

He got a $2 parking ticket.

His meter expired while he was
delivering Easter baskets to an

Mr. Grant?

Mary, I'd better be alone now.

Believe me, you've never seen me like
this, and I don't think anyone should.

I'm going in there.

Mary, don't. That's crazy.

I know.

Did you buzz me?

I distinctly told you... Grant, I'm
coming in anyway.

Don't be concerned about my not having
seen you like this before.

What's so different about the way you're
behaving?

You want something different.

That

certainly

was new.

Do you think that you're going to be
wanting to do that again?

No. I feel better.

I've heard that letting it out really
helps some people relieve their

I don't think I probably ever could.

Mary! Chatting fast is my way of
screaming.

What is it you want from me? You want to
give me a little pep talk, huh, Mary? A

little pep talk? Yes, I think I would
like to do, yes. I don't think a pep

talk's going to help. I'll keep it
short.

Good. Cheer up.

That's it? I really trimmed it down.

happened? I kill myself working three
weeks on a documentary I can't do and

ask me what's happened that's so awful?
Why can't you do the documentary?

Because he's an honest man.

Well, what's so wrong about doing a
documentary about an honest man?

Oh, Mary, that's stupid.

Mr. Grant, I don't think there's any
reason to be calling names. Mary, you're

dope.

Look, I told you not to come in here,
didn't I? You can't do a show about an

honest man.

People don't want to see that sort of
thing.

Our job is to turn over flat rocks and
show people the slimy things underneath.

Oh, so slimy.

Well, that's what life is.

I think people would love to see a
documentary with good news in it.

Anyway, you've spent all that money
filming Harkney. You've already set

hour of airtime. Why not give it a try?

No, Mary.

The answer is no.

Well, that's just stupid, Mr. Grant, and
you're a dope.

Okay,

you talked me into it.

I don't know why you're doing all this.
None of this stuff seems all that dusty.

Because I'm nervous. I can't just sit
around waiting.

What's to be nervous about?

Lou's going to come back from editing,
and either he's going to say, Mary, it's

a good show, or Mary, you're fired.

Yeah, right.

And I know it's easy for me to say, but
what is the point of worrying, huh?

I remember one time... Oh, you don't
want to hear somebody else's dull story.

Yeah, sure I do. Maybe it'll distract
me. Oh.

Well, the point is, I was worried about
a show once, too.

I was playing Vegas and dating a lot. A
friend of mine had fixed me up with a

doctor the night before, and I was dog
tired.

My arrangements hadn't arrived, and I...
Frank Sinatra? Yeah, and we'd been out

late. My arrangements hadn't arrived,
and... You went out with Frank Sinatra?

Yeah, yeah, we'd been out late the night
before. My arrangements hadn't arrived.

You went out with Frank Sinatra?

Yeah, he was playing there, too. Anyway,
my arrangements hadn't arrived, and so

I had no chance to meet her. Oh, blue
eyes?

Yeah.

What was he like?

Nice, nice guy.

So anyway, my arrangements didn't
arrive. I got three hours before show

Did you date him more than once? I don't
remember.

Anyway, there I was. The show's about to
open. It's a sellout crowd.

I have no arrangements, no rehearsal,
and my conductor is fogged in at an

airport in San Francisco. You don't
remember whether or not you dated Frank

Sinatra more than once?

I don't know. It must have been ten
years ago. The point is, my worrying

out to be for nothing.

I think we can relax.

It looks good.

What?

The show.

Oh, Mr.

Grant, that's wonderful.

Wow. Are you going to watch it with us
tomorrow night? Yeah, I'd love to, but

I've got to work. Oh, listen.

There's a TV behind the bar. Why don't
you both come and watch it with me?

Fine with me. Mary? Yeah, sure.

Okay, we'll bring the whole gang. Come
on, I'll double part. Okay, terrific.

you there. Oh.

And Mary, about Sinatra.

Yeah. You know how some guys sort of get
jealous about that sort of thing? Yeah.

So please, don't say anything to Robert
Redford.

Oh, hiya, Mary. Oh, Murray, hi.

I'm Charlene McGuire.

tonight's show. Oh, I'm really looking
forward to seeing it. No, it's no big

deal. Nothing special.

I mean, don't plan on being entertained
or amused or thrilled or anything.

Hurry. It's all right, Mary. I wish
somebody had told me that about my

husband.

Anyway, I just wrote it. Actually, it
was Mary's idea. She co -produced it.

Well, thank you. I just hope it works.

I mean, I just hope people will be
interested in seeing a normal, decent

being in a documentary.

Although I don't know why not. I mean,
that's what most people are.

I can see she's never been chased by the
trombone section in a band bus.

Hi, everybody.

Hi. Charlene, I'd like you to meet Ted
Baxter.

Hi, Ted. I've heard a lot about you.
You're legendary.

You chicks have some grapevine.

Tony,

will you turn on to Channel 12?

Sure.

Listen, everybody. Normally, I play a
set right now, but these are my friends.

And they've done a television
documentary, and we'd like to watch it.

Of course, if any of you would like to
watch it, too, you're... Drinks are on

me.

Want another drink, Mary?

Oh, no, this one's fine.

I'm dedicating this show to you.

Good evening, this is Ted Baxter.

Tonight we're going to examine the
career of Councilman Charles Harkney.

Right after this commercial message.

Baxter, that guy's good.

This is a nightmare, Ted, in stereo.

What's on the tube?

It's a documentary.

Portrait of a politician.

I'll tell you what you missed.

Good evening, this is Ted Baxter.

Tonight we're going to examine the
career of Councilman Harkin.

And then they showed a picture of some
guy taking a nap on a roll of toilet

paper.

And record everything he says and does.

We'll watch him make his breakfast.

We'll go with him as he drives to work.

We'll watch him open his morning mail.

And that's a day in the life of
Councilman Hartney.

This is Ted Baxter saying good night and
good news.

I hope you're satisfied.

We had a fire here once and more people
stayed.

You've done the impossible.

You've made Ted Baxter look dull.

Well, I'm leaving.

Uh, the check taken care of, Lou?

No, it isn't, Ted.

That's okay. No rush.

Well, I thought it was terrific. I
thought it was just terrific.

In fact, I think it was more than
terrific. I think it was terrific and...

am sure that everybody really loved that
show.

Really.

There were 20 people here.

Not one of them stayed.

The drunk at the bar watched for two
minutes and then went home to his wife.

Yeah, and he's been divorced for 15
years.

See, now I got to go back to work.

Just listen.

Just because people left doesn't mean
that they didn't really love that show.

just means that they had other places to
go.

What about the ones who didn't finish
their drinks?

Not thirsty.

Murray left after the first commercial.

Well, Mr. Grant, I have my theory that
everybody loved the show.

And apparently you have another theory.

What is your theory?

My theory is that if we showed this
documentary by satellite to the world,

would no longer be a crowded planet.

They only want to watch the rotten
things.

Do you know what that means, Mr. Grant?

That if it weren't for the rotten things
that happen in this world, we couldn't

put on the news show.

We should be grateful to all the people
who do those rotten things.

We should stop them in the streets and
say, thank you, Mr. Mugger.

Thank you, Mr. Grant.

If it weren't for those people, you and
I would be out of jobs.

It's a lousy business we're in, Mr.
Grant.

I quit.

Mary, don't be silly. It's a lousy
business, Mr. Grant, and it's a lousy

And I am going to Africa to work with
Schweitzer.

It wasn't such a bad idea you had.

People probably do want to watch good
news.

You want to know what the trouble with
tonight was?

I'll tell you what the trouble was.

We put on a bad show.

You and I pooled our talents to produce
the worst documentary in the history of

television. We did a really lousy job.

Mr. Gregg? What?

Saying that to cheer me up?