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1
00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:12,400
Who can turn the world on with her
smile?
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00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:22,300
Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?
3
00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:25,700
Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.
4
00:00:26,220 --> 00:00:32,400
With each glance and every little
movement you show it, love is all alone,
5
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:37,660
need to waste it. You can never tell,
why don't you take it?
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You're gonna make it after all.
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You're gonna make it after all.
8
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paper there. That's mine. This one's
yours.
9
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Oh, I'm sorry.
10
00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:15,910
Wait a minute. Rhoda, what difference
does it make? They're both the same.
11
00:01:16,190 --> 00:01:17,550
Uh, what's your headline say?
12
00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:22,390
Uh, something about transit strike
averted. Mine says Mary Richards is a
13
00:01:22,390 --> 00:01:23,630
terrific date. Hey!
14
00:01:24,630 --> 00:01:27,610
Oh, you know who had this made up? Wes
Callison.
15
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Probably had it done at one of those
novelty stores and then he dropped it
16
00:01:30,610 --> 00:01:33,610
so I'd find it this morning. Wes, is
that the guy you were out with last
17
00:01:33,730 --> 00:01:36,670
Yeah. Gee, this is just like him. He is
such a fun guy.
18
00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:39,110
I met a fun guy like that at a party.
19
00:01:39,470 --> 00:01:45,310
Oh, he was wearing Bermuda shorts, a
propeller beanie, and a T -shirt that
20
00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:46,590
Olympic Sex Team.
21
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:51,510
Do you know what really bothered me, ma
'am? It was a come -as -you -are party.
22
00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:57,630
Now, Lance isn't like that. He's really
great. He's sweet and got a great sense
23
00:01:57,630 --> 00:01:59,290
of humor. He's the kind of guy you
should meet.
24
00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:02,790
No, good, ma 'am. I always get a guy
with a great sense of humor.
25
00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:05,830
What I'm looking for is a guy with a
great sense of theory.
26
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:08,660
What's he do?
27
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:10,720
He's a writer at the station.
28
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,340
News writer, huh?
29
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,020
No. No, he's a comedy writer.
30
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:16,440
What show?
31
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,720
Chuckles.
32
00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:22,800
Chuckles, the, you know, clown. But it's
only temporary.
33
00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,920
He really wants to be a comedian. Wait a
minute, Mary. Are you telling me a
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grown man actually sits in front of a
typewriter and writes, Chuckles hits Mr.
35
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:32,840
Pussycat over the head with a rubber
chicken?
36
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,040
Mary, I would bet anything he wrote the
Chuckles anthem.
37
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:42,580
How does that go again?
38
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Come on, girls. Come on, boys.
39
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,700
You can make a lot of noise.
40
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,300
Run around, cavort, cut up.
41
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:52,220
There are no grown -ups here to say shut
up.
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00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:00,680
Hi.
43
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:05,180
Hi. Hey, you're in kind of early, aren't
you? I had to. Chuckles was on the
44
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warpath again. He didn't like my last
script.
45
00:03:08,049 --> 00:03:10,350
This is Chuckle's idea of a rejection
slip.
46
00:03:11,610 --> 00:03:15,990
He wanted a new twist on his old pie -in
-the -face routine, so I had this idea
47
00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:18,070
where a midget runs in and hits him with
a shortcake.
48
00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:21,270
That sounds kind of funny to me.
49
00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:23,250
Chuckle said he thought it was too
subtle.
50
00:03:23,750 --> 00:03:24,750
You're kidding.
51
00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:28,550
Anyway, he's looking at my new script
now, so I thought I'd stop by for a cup
52
00:03:28,550 --> 00:03:29,550
kind words.
53
00:03:29,830 --> 00:03:33,730
Hey, listen, I love my newspaper this
morning. Oh, really? Yes.
54
00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:37,350
Mary, I really had a wonderful time last
night.
55
00:03:38,230 --> 00:03:40,250
Wait a minute. I think the girl's
supposed to say that.
56
00:03:40,490 --> 00:03:44,290
Oh, hey, Wes. I had a wonderful time
last night. That's terrific.
57
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:50,830
Anyway,
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00:03:52,010 --> 00:03:55,490
I just came in early. I'm sorry.
59
00:03:59,350 --> 00:04:00,350
I hope I did.
60
00:04:00,850 --> 00:04:05,030
I've got to get going. It's time for
Chuck's 9 .30 tantrum. I'll see you
61
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,049
Mary.
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00:04:06,050 --> 00:04:07,050
Mary.
63
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,240
Don't kiss in the office.
64
00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:15,840
All right, that's it. That does it. I've
had it.
65
00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:17,399
Wes, what's wrong?
66
00:04:17,459 --> 00:04:18,439
I just quit.
67
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:19,440
Well, what happened?
68
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,840
Right after I left you, I walked into
Chuckle's office. The first thing he
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00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:23,920
me with is my new script.
70
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,020
What was the matter with it? I don't
know. He just kept hitting me with it.
71
00:04:28,140 --> 00:04:30,420
One thing led to another, and, well, I
quit.
72
00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:32,880
Mary, I'm supposed to be a writer.
73
00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:34,180
You want to see something?
74
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:35,320
Look at this.
75
00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:39,490
this is what he makes me wear in the
warm -up before the show.
76
00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:44,670
Do you know what it feels like for a
grown man dressed like this to stand in
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front of a bunch of screaming kids
going, chuck -a -luck -a -chuck -a
78
00:04:47,910 --> 00:04:49,170
chuck -a -luck -a -chuck -a -wuck?
79
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,510
It's not dignified.
80
00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:53,270
This is really neat.
81
00:04:55,450 --> 00:04:58,090
Why don't we get some T -shirts like
that with my face on it?
82
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:02,710
Kid, would you go somewhere else and
talk about T -shirts, please?
83
00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:03,910
Oh, oh, sure, okay.
84
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:05,690
I think you did the right thing.
85
00:05:06,110 --> 00:05:06,689
You do?
86
00:05:06,690 --> 00:05:07,329
I do.
87
00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:12,130
Boy, I don't. At least I won't go
hungry. I got a whole gag file full of
88
00:05:12,130 --> 00:05:13,130
shortcakes.
89
00:05:15,670 --> 00:05:18,530
Well, we don't have those kinds of
problems on our show, do we, Murr?
90
00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:22,550
We're more than anchorman and writer.
91
00:05:24,570 --> 00:05:26,910
We're comrades in arms.
92
00:05:29,190 --> 00:05:30,190
Pals.
93
00:05:32,930 --> 00:05:33,930
Amigos.
94
00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:46,260
something about doing a five -minute
humor spot on the news. Yeah, he even
95
00:05:46,260 --> 00:05:48,140
title for it, The Lighter Side.
96
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,520
West could do that.
97
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:52,340
What do you mean, write it? Yeah, he
could write it. He could perform it,
98
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:56,140
Not on my show. I mean, he's always
wanted to be a comedian, and I think he
99
00:05:56,140 --> 00:05:58,640
done some performing. Not on my show.
100
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,400
I think it's a terrific idea.
101
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:06,160
Mary, tell Lou this is my show, and
nobody goes on it unless I say so. Okay,
102
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,200
Ted, I'll tell it then.
103
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,140
Ah, second thought, I'll tell him
myself.
104
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,260
Well, how you doing?
105
00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:21,820
Mr.
106
00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:23,060
Grant, are you busy?
107
00:06:23,260 --> 00:06:29,320
Yes, I am busy. Well, are you really
busy or just, you know, busy? I would
108
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,620
just, you know, busy.
109
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:37,820
In that case, I want to talk to you
about having Wes Callison do a five
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00:06:37,820 --> 00:06:42,460
humor spot on the news. I thought we
could tape an audition demo, you know,
111
00:06:42,460 --> 00:06:43,460
then play it back.
112
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,040
At your convenience.
113
00:06:45,060 --> 00:06:48,500
Okay. Because, see, the reason I was
thinking about it was that I remembered
114
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:52,740
you kept saying we've got to get some
humor into the news. Mary, I already
115
00:06:52,740 --> 00:06:54,180
okay. Tape it.
116
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:57,780
Okay? Okay.
117
00:06:58,660 --> 00:07:00,840
Mr. Grant, you're having fun with me,
aren't you?
118
00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:05,620
Yes, Mary, I am having fun with you.
119
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,860
This is probably the most fun I have
had.
120
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:14,940
Pretty soon I will have to stop all
this. fun and go back to work.
121
00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:19,780
After all, Mary, life is more than just
mirth and whoopee, isn't it?
122
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,860
I will go and take it.
123
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,780
Mary, thanks for a great time.
124
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:33,580
As soon as we stand in the checkout line
that says eight items or less, suddenly
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00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:38,120
realizing we have nine, we bid a fond
farewell to a great evening at our local
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00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:39,120
supermarket.
127
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,500
This is Wes Callison for the Lighter
Side.
128
00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:50,650
Mr. Grant. Boy, I gotta give you that. I
mean, this is just what our show can
129
00:07:50,650 --> 00:07:53,650
use. It's got warmth, charm, humor.
130
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,090
Boy, you sure were right.
131
00:07:57,470 --> 00:07:58,470
Don't you think?
132
00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:01,810
That you were right, Mr. Grant?
133
00:08:03,010 --> 00:08:05,530
Mary, I don't think that belongs in our
show.
134
00:08:06,270 --> 00:08:11,010
But, Mr. Grant, this is just the kind of
material that people can identify with.
135
00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:13,730
I mean, like what we just saw. Everybody
goes to the supermarket.
136
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:15,560
I don't go to the supermarket.
137
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,900
Well, I mean, you've got to admit it was
funny.
138
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:25,100
I mean, all right, it wasn't funny, ha
-ha, but it was certainly funny, sort
139
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:26,580
of... Whimsical?
140
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:27,900
Right, whimsical.
141
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,440
I hate that.
142
00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:34,020
This is very... This is a very nice guy.
143
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:38,799
That's all right. No, Mr. Grant, you
certainly don't owe me an explanation.
144
00:08:39,179 --> 00:08:40,559
I want to explain it to you. No, no.
145
00:08:44,810 --> 00:08:48,730
Mary, you're getting that voice, that
chalk -on -a -blackboard voice. I don't
146
00:08:48,730 --> 00:08:49,730
like it when you get that voice.
147
00:08:50,370 --> 00:08:53,710
I'm sure I don't know what voice you're
talking about. Yeah, that's the voice.
148
00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:57,490
Well, I'll certainly try to watch that
voice in the future.
149
00:08:58,530 --> 00:09:02,730
Mary, you're letting your personal
feelings get in the way of a purely
150
00:09:02,730 --> 00:09:06,430
decision. There's nothing personal here,
and you have no right to be mad.
151
00:09:06,730 --> 00:09:07,489
You're right.
152
00:09:07,490 --> 00:09:08,429
But you're mad.
153
00:09:08,430 --> 00:09:10,450
All right, Mr. Grant, I will not be mad.
154
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:20,640
I enjoy saying no to somebody, but
that's my job.
155
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:24,300
And it's especially unpleasant for me to
say no to someone as nice as Wes.
156
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,440
Okay. When do you want to break it to
him?
157
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,800
Uh, I think you'd better handle that.
158
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:44,770
You got a great dinner working there.
Rack of lamb, fresh asparagus, chocolate
159
00:09:44,770 --> 00:09:45,770
mousse for dessert.
160
00:09:46,010 --> 00:09:49,410
Yeah, well, I forget it's the least I
can do for him. Gonna give Wes the bad
161
00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:53,710
news tonight, huh? Yeah, gee, I wish
there was some nice way to break it to
162
00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:55,930
Well, I guess that's everything.
163
00:09:56,570 --> 00:10:00,730
Oh, everything except the scotch. I
forgot to buy scotch. Oh, Mary, you
164
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:04,190
get some scotch. I mean, it's hard for a
guy to drown his sorrows in fresh
165
00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:05,190
asparagus.
166
00:10:06,050 --> 00:10:09,430
Fellas usually have some scotch. I'll
see if I can borrow some from her. He
167
00:10:09,430 --> 00:10:10,430
wrote it.
168
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:13,370
Down for a few minutes in case Wes shows
up. I'll be right back. Sure.
169
00:10:19,710 --> 00:10:20,710
Hi.
170
00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:22,230
Ah, Wes.
171
00:10:23,270 --> 00:10:24,490
Rhoda. Yeah.
172
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,770
I ran into Mary on the stairs.
173
00:10:27,030 --> 00:10:28,990
She said you'd entertain me until she
got back.
174
00:10:29,230 --> 00:10:31,670
Okay. What do you like, tap dancing or
bird calls?
175
00:10:33,670 --> 00:10:34,670
Hey.
176
00:10:35,310 --> 00:10:38,650
Looks like some kind of celebration,
doesn't it?
177
00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:41,390
It does look like that, doesn't it?
178
00:10:41,790 --> 00:10:43,050
I got the job, didn't I?
179
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,970
Wes, I think Mary should be the one to
tell you.
180
00:10:47,590 --> 00:10:49,030
Oh, come on, you can tell me.
181
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:52,070
No, no, I really, I don't think I
should.
182
00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:56,350
Listen, Rhoda, I promise to act
surprised when Mary tells me. Please
183
00:10:56,610 --> 00:10:59,410
Really, Wes, I would rather not, if you
don't mind.
184
00:10:59,730 --> 00:11:00,730
She told you, right?
185
00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:03,570
Yeah, she told me.
186
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:05,090
Well, then you can tell me.
187
00:11:05,470 --> 00:11:08,690
No, really, Wes, I can't tell you, okay?
188
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:17,660
Okay. How long have you been a neighbor
here at Mary's? Oh, two years now.
189
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:19,560
I initially wanted to... No, please tell
me.
190
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:21,520
All right.
191
00:11:22,020 --> 00:11:25,580
Thank you. You know, I really appreciate
it. Uh -huh.
192
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,740
You didn't get it.
193
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:29,920
I didn't? No.
194
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:31,360
Didn't get it. Right.
195
00:11:32,620 --> 00:11:34,500
Maybe you heard wrong.
196
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,120
Gee, Wes, I don't think so.
197
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,000
Meh.
198
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,100
That's the way it goes, I guess.
199
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:46,320
Certainly not the first time I ever lost
a job.
200
00:11:46,620 --> 00:11:48,380
Right. I guess it won't be the last.
201
00:12:11,470 --> 00:12:12,590
into a mayonnaise jar.
202
00:12:14,110 --> 00:12:14,929
Where's Wes?
203
00:12:14,930 --> 00:12:15,930
He's in the kitchen.
204
00:12:16,150 --> 00:12:20,570
Oh, well, listen, you better get going
now. I mean, I do have to tell him.
205
00:12:20,590 --> 00:12:22,410
Right. Oh, I didn't get...
206
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,680
Certainly not the first time I ever lost
a job.
207
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,580
Doggone it, I didn't get it!
208
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,740
Well, I guess it won't be the last.
209
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:55,479
Hi, Wes.
210
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:56,480
Hi, Mary.
211
00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:57,780
Hiya. Hi.
212
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,300
Ready for lunch? Yeah, in about two
minutes.
213
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,480
Wes.
214
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,920
Hiya, Lou. Good to see you. How you
been?
215
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:09,380
Good, thank you. Nice to see you.
216
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,680
Oh, you look great.
217
00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:12,820
Thank you. Doesn't he look great, Mary?
218
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,199
Yes, Mr.
219
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,240
Grant, he certainly does.
220
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:16,900
Yeah. So what's new?
221
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:18,240
Hi, Wes.
222
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,200
Hi, Chad.
223
00:13:20,220 --> 00:13:21,420
I saw you audition.
224
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,360
I hope you don't mind a little
constructive criticism from an old pro.
225
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,960
Not at all, Ted. What do you think?
226
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,260
You're never going to make it on
television with that kind of dumb stuff.
227
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,200
You should listen to Ted when he talks
about dumb stuff.
228
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:40,900
It's his specialty.
229
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,120
You know what I mean?
230
00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:47,680
Yeah, I say, well, I guess it all worked
out for the best anyway.
231
00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:51,460
I finally got a job this morning doing
something I've always wanted to do.
232
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:52,760
Oh, Wes, that's terrific.
233
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,180
I opened Friday night at the Melody
Lounge as a comic.
234
00:13:56,660 --> 00:13:57,660
Congratulations.
235
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,200
Very. It's just sort of a tryout.
236
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,940
I think you're going to be just great.
So do I.
237
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,160
Well, maybe so, but I'm going to need
some laughers.
238
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,980
So, Murray, Lou, I'd like for you to be
marrying my guest.
239
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:16,200
Not a bad deal. Free drinks and dinner,
and all I ask is you laugh very hard at
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00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,700
everything I say. You're all right.
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00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,160
I'll see you then, okay?
242
00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:24,220
Oh,
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00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:28,020
Ted, you're welcome to join us if you're
not busy Friday.
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00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:29,840
Oh, thanks. I'll see if I can make it.
245
00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:36,820
What was the bowling alley?
246
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:38,420
I didn't know.
247
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,000
Too bad. If I'd known, I would have
brought my ball.
248
00:14:42,780 --> 00:14:44,740
You can bring us some drinks when you're
ready.
249
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,800
Not a very big crowd, is it?
250
00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:51,540
Well, it's early, yeah. I mean, you
know, it'll fill up as soon as the show
251
00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:53,160
starts. Don't you think, Mr. Grant?
252
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,840
Yeah. It looked like the six and seven
lanes were about finished.
253
00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,480
Oh, there come some people now.
254
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,620
I told you, madam, I don't care where
you sit.
255
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:05,660
I don't work here.
256
00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:15,940
I didn't tell her it was going to be a
polling alley.
257
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,720
Tim, why did you wear a tuxedo anyway?
258
00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:21,080
Well, it's opening night, isn't it?
259
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,460
I want to look nice when he introduces
me from the audience.
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00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:26,360
Hold up. The show's starting.
261
00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:33,120
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
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00:15:34,189 --> 00:15:39,350
Melody Lounge of the Midtown Bowling
Lanes, Bruno D 'Angelo, general manager,
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00:15:39,610 --> 00:15:44,190
operating 24 hours a day, is proud to
present a rising new comedian,
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00:15:44,630 --> 00:15:47,490
Wes Callison.
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00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:54,850
Nice to see you all here.
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00:15:55,890 --> 00:15:58,850
A lot of you are probably wondering who
I am, so I thought I'd tell you a little
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00:15:58,850 --> 00:15:59,850
bit about myself.
268
00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:04,240
I come from a... little town in Kansas
to show you the kind of town it is. They
269
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:08,020
didn't have a movie camera in the bank
to take pictures of a robber. They had
270
00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:09,860
old man in the back doing charcoal
sketches.
271
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,240
I don't get it.
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00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:21,960
Then I left Kansas to go to New York to
become a writer.
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00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:37,340
My first job is on the television show
Password.
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00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:44,560
So now with your permission, I'd like to
do some of the more famous words I
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00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:45,600
wrote while on that show.
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00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:48,560
Remember broccoli?
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00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,420
How about boxcar?
278
00:16:54,020 --> 00:16:55,660
Brings back the old memories, doesn't
it?
279
00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:00,140
Droopy.
280
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:01,980
Xena.
281
00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:04,659
popular noodle.
282
00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:11,000
By the way, if any of you remember any
of these words and want to say them
283
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,859
with me, don't be afraid to.
284
00:17:13,579 --> 00:17:18,660
And then I wrote cupcake, lips, and my
favorite, and I certainly hope one of
285
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:19,660
yours.
286
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:26,900
Is there anybody here with a green
287
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:32,360
station wagon with license plates
9AD732? Your lights are on.
288
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:37,520
Let's see, where was I?
289
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,900
Oh, yeah, my favorite one of yours was
yo -yo.
290
00:17:47,060 --> 00:17:53,880
Then later on, I was fired from Password
by Alan Ludden when I used the word
291
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,520
xylophone in the lightning round.
292
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,900
Lightning rounds where they go real
fast. I guess that word...
293
00:18:06,409 --> 00:18:10,790
xylophone. Then I got my next job, which
was on Sesame Street. I wrote the first
294
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:13,210
three shows, A, B, C.
295
00:18:46,129 --> 00:18:47,129
Are you going to be alright?
296
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:25,430
by a few.
297
00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:30,150
There are good bowlers and there are bad
bowlers.
298
00:19:30,530 --> 00:19:33,510
You can't let Wes see you like this.
299
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,740
his old job back if he wants it.
300
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:30,560
He can?
301
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:34,500
Yeah. He's had five writers since Wes
left and he's fired every one.
302
00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:36,260
The last one was his dad.
303
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,120
I said...
304
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:09,060
American, whether you run around town,
go back to sleep, go back to sleep.
305
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:16,280
Do you ever think if a horse had a sore
leg? He didn't finish.
306
00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:37,020
Appreciate you all being such a nice
audience.
307
00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:39,060
I hope you pick up all your spares.
308
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,040
Good night.
309
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:50,660
I did have this one routine that I was
going to do about the world's first
310
00:21:50,660 --> 00:21:56,420
undertaker, but maybe I'll do that for
you on the second show.
311
00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:58,600
Thank you.
312
00:22:13,260 --> 00:22:15,040
Didn't even introduce me from the
audience.
313
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:21,840
Ted, what do you say you and I go out
and see if we can find a pair of patent
314
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:22,840
leather bowling pumps?
315
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,060
He put on a tuxedo and he didn't
introduce me from the audience.
316
00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:28,800
Murray, I think I'm going to join you.
317
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,580
Listen, kid, we'll talk later.
318
00:22:31,060 --> 00:22:33,200
I'll make him pay for the rental of this
tuxedo.
319
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,080
You going to be okay?
320
00:22:45,879 --> 00:22:52,860
Well, Mary, you want to go watch
321
00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:53,860
this bowl a couple games?
322
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:58,140
No, thank you, Mr. Gray. I'll just wait
here for Wes.
323
00:22:58,560 --> 00:22:59,800
Yeah, sure.
324
00:23:15,380 --> 00:23:16,339
Rotten, rotten.
325
00:23:16,340 --> 00:23:18,220
Wes, you were not rotten.
326
00:23:18,860 --> 00:23:22,660
Chuckles called me this morning and said
I could have my old job back.
327
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:27,080
Well, it won't be so bad, will it?
328
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:28,320
I guess not.
329
00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:31,700
Mary, will you bury me?
330
00:23:33,140 --> 00:23:36,840
What? I was just looking for something
to pep up my evening.
331
00:23:56,270 --> 00:24:02,590
chance to be it i guess you're right
there's a lot of people in this world
332
00:24:02,590 --> 00:24:06,250
go through life wanting to do something
and never getting a chance to do it
333
00:24:06,250 --> 00:24:12,030
right more are they lucky we
334
00:24:12,030 --> 00:24:18,690
were so poor my my parents couldn't
afford baby shoes so later on they had
335
00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:19,690
feet bronze
336
00:24:23,310 --> 00:24:25,710
I couldn't even afford to have my
tonsils taken out, so they just had them
337
00:24:25,710 --> 00:24:26,750
loosened. Oh, no.
338
00:24:28,410 --> 00:24:31,810
You're just laughing to make me feel
good. No, I am not.
339
00:24:32,150 --> 00:24:33,910
How do I know that's a real laugh?
340
00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:37,290
Because my phony laugh is lousy.
341
00:24:37,650 --> 00:24:38,790
Let's hear your phony laugh.
342
00:24:41,370 --> 00:24:43,830
You really liked it, huh?
343
00:24:44,030 --> 00:24:45,250
Yes, I did.
344
00:24:46,550 --> 00:24:49,510
Well, that's about it for our second
show, and you've been such a nice
345
00:24:49,590 --> 00:24:51,150
I think I'll take you home now.
346
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,920
Did you really think I was funny? Yes, I
did. No kidding. I mean, seriously. Did
347
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,060
you really think I was funny? You were
funny. You were really laughing.
27959
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