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1
00:00:08,940 --> 00:00:12,480
Who can turn the world on with her
smile?
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00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:22,380
Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?
3
00:00:22,580 --> 00:00:25,780
Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.
4
00:00:26,300 --> 00:00:32,659
With each glance and every little
movement you show it. Love is all alone,
5
00:00:32,659 --> 00:00:37,760
need to waste it. You can never tell,
why don't you take it?
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00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:42,100
You're gonna make it after all.
7
00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:48,840
You're gonna make it after all.
8
00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:11,260
Scutch of Winnebago got a surprise
yesterday when he harvested his crop and
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found an 11 -pound turnip.
10
00:01:13,860 --> 00:01:15,380
Look, what's so amazing about that?
11
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:18,960
We have a 165 -pound vegetable doing the
news every night.
12
00:01:20,420 --> 00:01:23,060
You know, Marie, it seems to me there
are a lot of stories like this that we
13
00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:26,400
don't think are so important, but other
people just might find interesting. The
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00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:30,560
only way we'd do that story, Mary, if
Roy Scutch were killed by an 11 -pound
15
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,220
turnip. Oh, Marie.
16
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,120
Here's some changes.
17
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:36,520
Where are you coming out?
18
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:38,699
Oh, nothing.
19
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:40,440
It's... Nothing?
20
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:45,280
Well, it's just an idea for something I
thought we might do on the show.
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00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:46,399
Okay, let's hear it.
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00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,340
Well, it's going to be a surprise.
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00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:50,640
Surprise me.
24
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:53,180
Surprise?
25
00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:57,500
Newsroom? Just a moment, please. It's
for you, Mr. Grant, New York. Come on,
26
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,660
come on. What's your idea? Mr. Grant,
I'll tell you later.
27
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:02,440
Oh, all right. But don't forget, because
I still want to hear about it.
28
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,920
I got it. You're going to suggest Ted
interview the turnip.
29
00:02:11,370 --> 00:02:14,530
stories like this every once in a while.
I mean, if the newspapers can do it.
30
00:02:14,690 --> 00:02:15,730
What are you guys talking about?
31
00:02:17,190 --> 00:02:20,290
Newspapers. Oh, I don't care much for
them myself.
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00:02:20,770 --> 00:02:24,510
Well, he's very blasé now, but you
should have seen him run in and grab the
33
00:02:24,510 --> 00:02:26,710
paper when he heard Nancy and Sluggo
broke up.
34
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:31,590
All right, you guys, get around, but
I've got very good reasons for not
35
00:02:31,590 --> 00:02:32,329
the newspapers.
36
00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:33,289
Oh, what are they?
37
00:02:33,290 --> 00:02:34,870
One, they're a competition.
38
00:02:36,110 --> 00:02:40,550
And two, I always get that black stuff
over my hands after I read them.
39
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,760
And when people watch my show, they
don't have to wash their hands.
40
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:48,720
Terrific, Ted. We can advertise a six o
'clock news. Doesn't get your hands
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00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:49,720
dirty.
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00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,460
Doesn't get your hands dirty.
43
00:02:54,740 --> 00:02:56,060
Hey, that's a good one, Mary.
44
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,960
Did you hear that, Mary? Oh, come on,
Ted. It wasn't that. Hey, did you guys
45
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,040
just hear what Mary said?
46
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,100
I'm going to tell this to Lou.
47
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:11,180
What can you expect from a guy whose
favorite Marx brother is Zeppo?
48
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,380
last night by the Roseburg Medical
Association.
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00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:25,140
Dr. Richards announced his retirement
after 21 years as chief of surgery for
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00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:27,620
Roseburg County Hospital. I don't
believe it.
51
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,320
Murray, this is my father.
52
00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:30,700
Oh, Mary, are you kidding?
53
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,340
I've got to call home. Why didn't they
tell me anything?
54
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,940
Well, maybe they promised the newspaper
a scoop.
55
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,540
I talked to my mother three times last
week. Wouldn't you think... Hello, Mom?
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00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:40,760
It's Mary.
57
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,020
Listen, Mother, how come you didn't tell
me that Daddy was retiring?
58
00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:50,580
Yes, that's Dad.
59
00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:55,640
Well, what are you going to do? What are
you planning now that you've got
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00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,120
retirement to look forward to?
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00:03:58,400 --> 00:03:59,400
Uh -huh.
62
00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:00,619
Uh -huh.
63
00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:02,200
And what about later today?
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00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,440
Mom, I mean, what are your plans?
65
00:04:08,420 --> 00:04:09,420
Oh, you are?
66
00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:12,780
Yeah, that's terrific. When?
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00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:17,380
Okay. All right, Mom. Call me later
then.
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00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:18,720
Right. Bye -bye.
69
00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:29,870
so make sure I have enough ice. There
you are, Lou. Lou.
70
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:32,430
You want to have a good belly laugh?
71
00:04:32,890 --> 00:04:36,090
Mary and I were talking, and I said,
when people watch my show, they don't
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00:04:36,090 --> 00:04:37,090
to wash their hands?
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00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:42,210
And then Mary said... Well, Mr. Grant,
it really wasn't funny at all. Oh, come
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00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:43,310
on. Don't louse it up, Mary.
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00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:47,050
I said, when people watch my show, they
don't have to wash their hands? And then
76
00:04:47,050 --> 00:04:51,310
Mary said... We can advertise that the 6
o 'clock news doesn't get your hands
77
00:04:51,310 --> 00:04:52,310
dirty.
78
00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:56,210
Is that what you said?
79
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:58,680
That isn't funny.
80
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,620
Hiya. Oh, hi.
81
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:09,440
Hey, yeah, when you decide to come down
off your barstool, you want to go out
82
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:12,600
and grab a sandwich? Oh, gee, I'd love
to, but I can't. My parents are coming.
83
00:05:12,860 --> 00:05:13,819
Oh, wonderful.
84
00:05:13,820 --> 00:05:14,820
How long are they going to stay?
85
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,880
Well, they're moving here.
86
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:18,860
Can I have my wonderful back?
87
00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:23,840
Rhoda. Mary, do yourself a favor. Tell
them to stay where they are or go
88
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,880
someplace else or anything but come
here.
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00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,160
Rhoda, I could never do that.
90
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,900
Well, then I'll do it. Don't worry, I'll
make the call anonymous and in very
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00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:34,680
good taste. It's too late before it's
left. They'll be here any minute. Mary,
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00:05:34,820 --> 00:05:38,460
you have got to send them back the
minute they get here. Listen to the
93
00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:42,880
experience. When I lived in New York, my
parents kept following me all over the
94
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,140
Bronx. I'd move, they'd move.
95
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,060
Once I told them I was moving, they
moved.
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00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,600
My parents and I have always gotten
along just great. My mother is terrific.
97
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:04,599
Uh -huh.
98
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:05,600
No, really.
99
00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:08,280
My dates used to like her as much as
they like me.
100
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,439
Oh, that's swell.
101
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,300
There isn't enough competition running
around.
102
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:16,040
Tell me, ma 'am, these perfect parents
of yours, does he ever bring up the
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00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,560
subject of why you aren't married?
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00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:19,860
Well, uh, not directly.
105
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:24,120
Every once in a while, my father used to
mention that he was the only department
106
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,200
head in the hospital who didn't have any
grandchildren.
107
00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:27,700
Heh, heh, heh.
108
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,480
Was that, uh...
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00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:31,379
Oh, yours.
110
00:06:31,380 --> 00:06:33,500
Oh, no, that was his, just to let me
know he was kidding.
111
00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:34,820
Hey, hey, hey.
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00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:40,220
Hey, Rhoda, you remember that party I
gave and your date made those dumb paper
113
00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:41,260
airplanes? Yeah.
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00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:42,600
A little souvenir.
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00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:47,140
Hey, you know, I haven't seen him since
that evening either.
116
00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:48,600
See if he's up there, huh?
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00:06:49,620 --> 00:06:51,960
Good boy. No wonder I haven't seen him.
118
00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:53,280
Here's my phone number.
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00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:04,809
clean apartment.
120
00:07:04,810 --> 00:07:07,870
No, darling. It's just that my father's
never been here, and I want the place to
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00:07:07,870 --> 00:07:08,589
look clean.
122
00:07:08,590 --> 00:07:10,610
So, uh, how tall is your father, anyway?
123
00:07:13,930 --> 00:07:17,750
I don't know. Maybe it's because Daddy's
in surgery, but he's always been very
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00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:21,090
particular about everything he comes in
contact with being germ -free.
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00:07:21,290 --> 00:07:22,290
Oh.
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00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:24,550
Where you going? I gotta boil my...
127
00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:57,820
You'd never guess that he's 16 years
older than I am, now would you? That's a
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00:07:57,820 --> 00:07:59,500
new record for working it in fast.
129
00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:04,120
Oh, honey, it's so terrific to be here.
Remember the last time I was here and we
130
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,700
went shopping together and people
mistook us for sisters? Yeah. I always
131
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,280
that. Hey, now, Walt.
132
00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:11,760
Walt, isn't this a darling place?
133
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:13,120
Yeah.
134
00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:15,280
What are you paying, Mary? About a
hundred?
135
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,360
Uh, yeah, about a hundred.
136
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,900
And? Thirty. Uh, five.
137
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:23,000
In Roseburg, you can get a whole house
for that.
138
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:24,240
No, you...
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00:08:24,539 --> 00:08:25,940
That's what our house payment was.
140
00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:30,000
135 wasn't our house payment. That was
our phone bill.
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00:08:32,419 --> 00:08:37,280
Mary, this place, does it have a John or
is it in a hole? Yes, Dad, it has a
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00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,539
John. It's right in here. I want to wash
my hands.
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00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,640
Dad, I'm a big girl now. You don't have
to say that anymore.
144
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,060
Oh, yes, I do. I got them filthy on that
banister out there.
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00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:47,380
Oh.
146
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:50,660
Well, you know, honey, we're going to
have to start looking for an apartment
147
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:55,370
soon. And I want a place just... Just
like this, only bigger and newer.
148
00:08:56,450 --> 00:09:00,230
Well, I'll take you around on Sunday.
It'll be fun to see all the apartments I
149
00:09:00,230 --> 00:09:01,189
couldn't afford.
150
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:02,970
How do you think you're going to like
living in Minneapolis?
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00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,230
It's going to be pretty different from
Roseburg. Right.
152
00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:09,910
Mary, I want you to know that moving
here wasn't my idea. It was your
153
00:09:10,030 --> 00:09:11,030
Oh.
154
00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:13,550
What are you going to do, Mom, now that
Dad's retired?
155
00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:16,410
Well, I kind of thought I'd go back and
finish nursing school.
156
00:09:16,650 --> 00:09:18,750
Oh, Mother, you've been saying that for
years.
157
00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:22,320
Well... That's your mother's way of
reminding everybody. just how young she
158
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:23,320
when we got married.
159
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:27,100
You know, Dad, I was really surprised
you decided to move to Minneapolis.
160
00:09:27,380 --> 00:09:28,700
Mary, it wasn't my idea.
161
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:32,100
Oh, but Mother said... Oh, this is good
cheese, Mary.
162
00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,300
What kind is it? It's so different.
163
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:35,680
It's called American.
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00:09:37,180 --> 00:09:38,180
Walt,
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00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:40,520
would you like some American cheese?
166
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:41,780
No, no thanks.
167
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:46,140
Mother, didn't you just say that...
Walt, Walt, you've got to admit now that
168
00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:49,400
Minneapolis offers a bigger variety of
things to do now, doesn't it?
169
00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:54,340
Walt. Mary, isn't that the plate I got
for your mother at the Seattle World's
170
00:09:54,340 --> 00:09:55,239
Fair? Yeah.
171
00:09:55,240 --> 00:10:00,640
Had an inscription on it that said...
Seattle World's Fair? Yeah, something
172
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:01,640
that. Read the back.
173
00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:03,540
Oh, yeah.
174
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,340
To Dottie from Walter.
175
00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:07,660
Your father's the last of the romantics.
176
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,600
Come in.
177
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,500
Hello, Mary.
178
00:10:34,670 --> 00:10:35,529
with the paper.
179
00:10:35,530 --> 00:10:36,750
Then I figured it out.
180
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:42,530
You're going to suggest that we replace
Ted by televising newspaper clippings,
181
00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:43,249
aren't you?
182
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:44,310
No, Mr. Grant.
183
00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:47,210
Oh, that's too bad because it's a good
idea.
184
00:10:48,510 --> 00:10:49,510
What's your suggestion?
185
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:52,770
Well, I was going to work up a whole
presentation for you, you know, but I
186
00:10:52,770 --> 00:10:53,770
haven't had the time.
187
00:10:54,730 --> 00:10:58,810
Well, anyway, what I thought we might do
is just use stories like this on the
188
00:10:58,810 --> 00:10:59,810
news.
189
00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:11,810
You mean to say we missed out on the
turnip story?
190
00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:15,390
Okay, Mr. Grant.
191
00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:18,630
Biggest turnip story of the century, and
we missed out.
192
00:11:20,450 --> 00:11:21,690
Sorry, Lou.
193
00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:24,950
It was either that or the yam that
looked like Millard Fillmore.
194
00:11:26,050 --> 00:11:28,230
I blew it, Lou. An honest, honest
mistake.
195
00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:30,990
Well, don't let it happen again.
196
00:11:32,050 --> 00:11:34,450
Well, if you like it that much, I'll
type it up for you, Lou.
197
00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:37,470
This is what I love about work.
198
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,060
After that, you're still looking for
cute little stories?
199
00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:48,060
I'm looking for a cute little apartment
for my parents.
200
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,400
Oh. What part of Minneapolis are you
looking in?
201
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:51,459
St. Paul.
202
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,460
St. Paul?
203
00:11:53,220 --> 00:12:00,100
Yeah, well, you know, it's nice over
there. It's quiet over there.
204
00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:02,960
And it's over there, right?
205
00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:06,980
It's not that I don't love them, you
know. I mean, I really have enjoyed this
206
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:10,900
last week with them. It's just that I
think I've outgrown spending all my free
207
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,830
time with them. Yeah, I know. What do
you mean?
208
00:12:13,070 --> 00:12:14,770
Do they have any friends here? No.
209
00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:17,510
Hoping I can find an apartment with some
friendly people.
210
00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:21,190
You're looking for a friendly apartment,
Mary? Why don't you move into my
211
00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:25,570
building? Oh, well, gosh, Ted, I don't
think I could stand all that happiness.
212
00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:28,710
Anyway, it's not for me. It's for my
folks.
213
00:12:29,010 --> 00:12:30,930
Well, that's still all right. There's
plenty of vacancies.
214
00:12:31,130 --> 00:12:32,130
I wonder why.
215
00:12:33,370 --> 00:12:36,390
Anyway, Ted, don't you live in one of
those swingin' singles buildings?
216
00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:37,610
Yeah, it's swell.
217
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:40,610
We've got a social director, sweet rolls
on Sundays.
218
00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:42,310
Volleyball tournaments?
219
00:12:42,410 --> 00:12:44,570
Of course, I'm the biggest celebrity
there.
220
00:12:44,790 --> 00:12:47,210
Oh? The guy with the chimp must have
moved.
221
00:12:49,830 --> 00:12:52,730
My mom lives there, too.
222
00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:53,990
Your mom?
223
00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:55,210
Well, she's single.
224
00:12:55,430 --> 00:12:58,370
But she was married once, wasn't she,
Ted? Oh, sure.
225
00:12:59,690 --> 00:13:00,910
Everybody loves mom.
226
00:13:02,110 --> 00:13:05,050
If your folks move into the building,
they'd love her, too.
227
00:13:05,270 --> 00:13:07,310
Yeah, well, the thing is, they're not
single, Ted.
228
00:13:07,610 --> 00:13:08,610
Oh, yeah.
229
00:13:08,730 --> 00:13:10,710
Well, if they ever decide to break up,
send them over.
230
00:13:12,230 --> 00:13:13,650
He's a happy man, Murray.
231
00:13:13,970 --> 00:13:14,909
I know.
232
00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:16,290
It drives me crazy.
233
00:13:18,410 --> 00:13:21,530
Excuse me, is this where... Oh, hi,
Murray.
234
00:13:21,790 --> 00:13:23,050
Dad! Hi!
235
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:24,990
What are you doing here?
236
00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:27,450
I was at the hospital right around the
corner.
237
00:13:27,710 --> 00:13:29,490
You were at the hospital? Is anything
wrong?
238
00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:32,630
Uh -huh. Oh, just dropped in to watch a
couple of operations.
239
00:13:33,350 --> 00:13:34,830
Oh, how were they?
240
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:36,730
Fair.
241
00:13:37,030 --> 00:13:39,230
Uh... They don't even give you a private
office, huh?
242
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:43,130
Oh, well, Dad, see, a newsroom is like
that. You know, everything's sort of out
243
00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:45,710
in the open. Nobody has any secrets. Oh,
nobody needs an office.
244
00:13:46,250 --> 00:13:49,190
Except for Mr. Grant. He's got a, you
know, not that he has any secrets or
245
00:13:49,190 --> 00:13:53,710
anything. He's just, you know, got a...
Murray, this is my dad. Dad Murray
246
00:13:53,710 --> 00:13:56,710
Slaughter. Oh, Mary, he talks about you
all the time. It's a pleasure. Thanks.
247
00:13:57,150 --> 00:13:58,330
This is really a nice surprise.
248
00:13:58,890 --> 00:13:59,890
Come on, I'll buy you lunch.
249
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:03,780
Oh, gee, Dad, I'd like to, but I...
Well, if you can't make it, I
250
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:06,980
No, no, no, no. I'll rearrange a few
things. Hey, I got a couple of
251
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,300
that I think are kind of interesting.
252
00:14:08,540 --> 00:14:10,540
Oh, we already rented one this morning.
253
00:14:11,140 --> 00:14:11,959
You did?
254
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:12,899
Mm -hmm.
255
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:14,380
Here in Minneapolis?
256
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:15,800
Yeah. Where else?
257
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:20,480
Oh, well, I was just thinking it might
be over in St... Well, whereabouts?
258
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:24,880
Well, after we had breakfast with you
this morning, we just drove round and
259
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,680
round until we found this place. I've
got the address right here.
260
00:14:29,219 --> 00:14:33,580
Dad, that's right around the corner from
my place She couldn't find anything in
261
00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:34,580
your building
262
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,780
last night. Gosh, Mom, I don't think 11
.30 is so late.
263
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:08,220
Well, I guess I better be going.
264
00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:10,500
Hey, Mayor.
265
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:12,320
Honey, do you have an extra key?
266
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,320
Why, are you going to come back tonight,
Mom?
267
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:19,420
Well, uh, Phyllis has had to let me in a
couple of times the past few days and,
268
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,720
you know, I really didn't want to bother
her.
269
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:26,000
Oh, well, it's no bother. Phyllis
doesn't mind doing things like that.
270
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,360
good. I'll get her to make me a key.
271
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,380
Hey, Rhoda. Yeah? Would you like to go
to a movie later?
272
00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:35,360
as it's not one of those sexy ones, you
know? All those naked bodies just remind
273
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,360
me of work.
274
00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:37,740
Oh, man.
275
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:39,860
What is it you do, dear?
276
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:43,640
Oh, mannequins. I dress mannequins in a
store window.
277
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:46,100
Thank heavens.
278
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,140
Well, have a good time, honey.
279
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,720
What time do you think you'll be home?
280
00:15:52,140 --> 00:15:53,760
Oh, gee, I don't know, Mom.
281
00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:58,620
Well, have a good time anyway, dear.
282
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,000
And don't forget, tomorrow's a working
day.
283
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:02,600
I won't.
284
00:16:02,980 --> 00:16:04,800
Hey, Rhoda, I'll pick you up at 8, okay?
285
00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:06,719
Good deal.
286
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,020
And listen, I'm not going to change.
287
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,720
Oh, no, me neither. Be prepared, they'll
take us for sisters.
288
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,200
Probably, darling. So long.
289
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:16,720
Gee, I can hardly believe she's your
mother.
290
00:16:17,020 --> 00:16:18,060
Yeah? Why?
291
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,020
Oh, Mary, she's so young.
292
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:22,460
She's just like a regular person.
293
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,240
If my mother was here, she'd be driving
me crazy.
294
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:29,760
Rhoda, she's driving me crazy. I know.
Does it show?
295
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,460
You think my mother knows? They never
know.
296
00:17:11,210 --> 00:17:12,270
Must have had some great time.
297
00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:15,609
Look, Rhoda, whatever I did, it's my own
business, okay?
298
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:17,069
That good, huh?
299
00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:22,170
I'm sorry. That wasn't meant for you.
300
00:17:22,589 --> 00:17:24,790
So, uh, who was it meant for? For my
mother.
301
00:17:25,069 --> 00:17:28,830
Ah. Every time I come home late, the
phone is ringing. When I pick it up, the
302
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:32,610
person on the other end hangs up. Rhoda,
my mother is checking up on me.
303
00:17:32,910 --> 00:17:38,170
Oh, I broke my zipper. You see? Every
time you yell at your mother, God makes
304
00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:39,170
you break your zipper.
305
00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:47,230
best mother a person could have, but no
matter how hard she tries, she's still
306
00:17:47,230 --> 00:17:48,590
my mother. You know what I mean?
307
00:17:48,830 --> 00:17:50,170
I know what you mean, kid.
308
00:17:50,390 --> 00:17:51,830
Look, it goes with the territory.
309
00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:55,950
I feel every time I'm going to be late
coming home that I have to call her so
310
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:56,949
she doesn't worry.
311
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:58,730
Who would have thought it? What?
312
00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:00,810
This happens to Protestants, too.
313
00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:08,230
I would just like to be able to go out
and stay out all night if I feel like it
314
00:18:08,230 --> 00:18:10,310
without coming home and finding the
phone ringing.
315
00:18:10,730 --> 00:18:13,790
You're wearing shorty nightgowns. to
work these days? Work?
316
00:18:14,070 --> 00:18:15,070
Work!
317
00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:16,690
Work.
318
00:18:30,230 --> 00:18:32,690
What is it? Who is it?
319
00:18:34,650 --> 00:18:38,170
Don't hold a pizza cart like that. The
cheese will all slide off the crust.
320
00:18:38,590 --> 00:18:40,510
Mother, what are you doing here?
321
00:18:40,810 --> 00:18:43,710
Why don't I have some extra meat? left
over, and I knew you'd be tired and
322
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:44,750
wouldn't feel like cooking.
323
00:18:45,010 --> 00:18:48,510
You, uh, just happened to know that I
retired, huh?
324
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:52,610
Well, you worked all day, didn't you?
Look, you can barely hold your eyes
325
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:57,370
Mom, my eyes have never been opener, and
as for the dinner, thank you, but I
326
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,370
have a pizza.
327
00:18:59,350 --> 00:19:03,870
Oh, Mary, you can't eat that. Mother,
I'm going to eat my pizza.
328
00:19:05,570 --> 00:19:08,430
Okay. Okay, you can have the meatloaf
tomorrow.
329
00:19:08,890 --> 00:19:10,270
It's always better when it's left...
330
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,440
I was just on my way out anyhow.
331
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:16,760
Hey, Mom.
332
00:19:16,860 --> 00:19:19,960
Huh? Um, thanks for the meeting.
333
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,660
I made it just the way you like it.
334
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:25,000
How was your date last night?
335
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:27,359
Fine, thanks.
336
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,360
What did you do?
337
00:19:30,020 --> 00:19:32,820
Mother, I'm not going to tell you.
338
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,280
I know what it is.
339
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,620
Uh, what?
340
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,810
You always get cranky. when you're
sleeping. You've been like that ever
341
00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:45,810
you were a baby.
342
00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:49,250
Mom, listen, I'm not a baby anymore.
343
00:19:49,570 --> 00:19:55,050
See, I don't need my mommy bringing me
meatloaves, and I especially don't need
344
00:19:55,050 --> 00:19:56,830
her checking up on me every minute.
345
00:19:57,070 --> 00:20:00,050
I haven't been checking up on you. Oh,
come on, Mom.
346
00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:03,430
What do you call this meatloaf if it's
not checking up on me?
347
00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:08,670
Maybe I have been around here too much,
but it's not because I've been checking
348
00:20:08,670 --> 00:20:11,390
up on you. Mom, you haven't been around
here too much.
349
00:20:13,260 --> 00:20:14,260
Why have you been around?
350
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:00,340
Get some dinner.
351
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,500
Oops, don't let me kill the fun. No,
Dad.
352
00:21:04,940 --> 00:21:06,220
Please, Dad, stay.
353
00:21:07,020 --> 00:21:11,060
Mother, are you telling me that you
didn't call me this morning and then
354
00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:12,060
when I answered?
355
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:13,399
Hang up?
356
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:17,400
Why would I call you and then hang up?
Well, then, if you didn't call, who did?
357
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:18,760
I did.
358
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:21,140
You did?
359
00:21:21,420 --> 00:21:22,379
That's right.
360
00:21:22,380 --> 00:21:27,340
I got home from my AMA meeting at 11 o
'clock, a respectable hour, expecting to
361
00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:28,340
find my wife there.
362
00:21:28,590 --> 00:21:32,030
And when she wasn't, I called here and
my daughter wasn't home either. Well,
363
00:21:32,130 --> 00:21:35,130
Miss Nightlife here finally showed up at
12 .30.
364
00:21:36,050 --> 00:21:42,370
But by then I was so used to calling
you, I just kept it up until 8 .27 this
365
00:21:42,370 --> 00:21:48,190
morning. You got home at 8 .27 this
morning? Yes, more or less, yes. Dad,
366
00:21:48,690 --> 00:21:52,670
as long as you were on the phone, why
didn't you just say hi?
367
00:21:53,090 --> 00:21:55,970
Because I didn't want you to think I was
checking up on you.
368
00:21:57,770 --> 00:22:00,810
I figured since you were well enough to
answer the phone, everything was okay.
369
00:22:02,190 --> 00:22:03,410
I shouldn't have hung up.
370
00:22:03,630 --> 00:22:05,170
I certainly agree with you there.
371
00:22:05,430 --> 00:22:08,210
What I should have done was ask you
where the hell you were until 827.
372
00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:13,650
Dad, look, I am over 30 years old. I
don't have to answer that.
373
00:22:13,930 --> 00:22:17,350
I don't care how old you are. You're
still my daughter, and I've still got
374
00:22:17,350 --> 00:22:20,830
right to worry about you. Okay, okay,
look, when you lived in Roseburg, you
375
00:22:20,830 --> 00:22:22,950
didn't know where I was half the time.
It didn't bother you then.
376
00:22:23,210 --> 00:22:24,270
Oh, yes, it did.
377
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:29,220
Well, plenty of times I started to pick
up the phone, but I didn't. Well, why
378
00:22:29,220 --> 00:22:30,179
didn't you?
379
00:22:30,180 --> 00:22:31,180
Well, I...
380
00:23:16,940 --> 00:23:19,060
Unfortunately, I made enough meatloaf
for the three of us.
381
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,660
I'll just go warm it up.
382
00:23:25,740 --> 00:23:26,100
You
383
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:33,340
know,
384
00:23:33,380 --> 00:23:35,240
you still haven't told us what you did
last night.
385
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:38,400
I know.
386
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:41,880
You're not going to tell us.
387
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:46,160
Oh, darling?
388
00:23:46,570 --> 00:23:48,390
I guess we'll just have to get used to
that.
389
00:23:49,390 --> 00:23:50,390
You're right.
390
00:23:51,010 --> 00:23:52,670
We'll just have to get used to that.
391
00:23:54,570 --> 00:23:56,330
We'll never get used to that.
392
00:24:00,550 --> 00:24:04,310
And that's the first visit by an
American secretary of agriculture to
393
00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:05,310
Beach.
394
00:24:05,970 --> 00:24:08,670
Who tied this show? We're going to end
up about a minute short. Give me
395
00:24:08,670 --> 00:24:09,309
something quick.
396
00:24:09,310 --> 00:24:11,870
I don't want him staring at the camera
with a silly look on his face.
397
00:24:14,010 --> 00:24:15,950
How can you tell?
398
00:24:16,190 --> 00:24:19,850
when a man with a silly look on his face
gets a silly look on his face.
399
00:24:20,490 --> 00:24:22,070
Well, that's the news for tonight.
400
00:24:22,270 --> 00:24:25,590
This is Ted Baxter saying, see you
tomorrow.
401
00:24:34,190 --> 00:24:37,450
Hold it, hold it.
402
00:24:37,950 --> 00:24:40,230
I've just been handed this late
-breaking bulletin.
403
00:24:41,290 --> 00:24:44,590
Roy L. Scotch of Winnebago had a
surprise yesterday.
404
00:24:45,580 --> 00:24:46,960
harvested his crop and found...
33044
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