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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,649 --> 00:00:10,970 Is that cheeseburger? 2 00:00:11,950 --> 00:00:12,950 No. 3 00:00:18,270 --> 00:00:19,270 Ravioli? 4 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:21,730 Uh -uh. 5 00:00:29,390 --> 00:00:31,830 I'm going to go with spinach quiche. 6 00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:33,150 Not even close. 7 00:00:34,290 --> 00:00:35,290 Baba ganoush. 8 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:53,240 I love you like I do. 9 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:57,460 Tell me who can start my heart as much as you. 10 00:00:58,020 --> 00:00:59,580 I don't have the answers. 11 00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:01,560 I don't have a plan. 12 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:06,720 All I have is you. So, baby, help me understand what we do. 13 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:10,780 And you can whisper in my ear where we go. 14 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,660 Who knows what happens after here? 15 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:18,780 Let's take each other's hand and jump into the final frontier. 16 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,500 I love this collar. It's so soft and nice. 17 00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:30,860 I can't believe you spent that kind of money on a coat. Here, put the baby 18 00:01:30,860 --> 00:01:32,620 there. Sweetie, it's a coat. 19 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,560 I'm not out of drinking and gambling. 20 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:39,240 It's an outer garment I'm using to protect myself from the elements. Well, 21 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,900 think it's indulgent. Do you know how much money it's going to cost to get a 22 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:43,820 college education by the time Mabel's 18? 23 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:48,380 Yeah, and also, by the way, I put some water to sustain my body weight. I hope 24 00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:51,380 that was all right. You know what I'm talking about. You're not exactly 25 00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:52,380 with money. 26 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,060 I ain't got 50 bucks that says that's crazy. 27 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:56,400 Look what we found. 28 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,840 A hundred dollars. Oh, my God. 29 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:00,480 Where'd you find all those? 30 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,380 Right here in the restaurant, right on the way in. Did you ask if it belonged 31 00:02:04,380 --> 00:02:08,880 anybody? Sure, but they all said no. A very high quality of personage you get 32 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,500 here. Yeah, how'd you pick this place? We flipped a coin. You're kidding. No, 33 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,400 just flipped a coin. We narrowed it down as either this or a Mexican place on 34 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,660 3rd Avenue that has to have burritos the size of your head. 35 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:21,880 Steven, I'll be your server today. 36 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:23,520 What will it be today? 37 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:25,940 Muffins or breadsticks? 38 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,440 Ooh, a choice. 39 00:02:28,780 --> 00:02:31,880 Do you want... Hey, you know what? Here's how we settle. Very simple. Watch 40 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:32,619 we do. 41 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,280 Muffins or breadstick, you're saying? Watch this. 42 00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:37,560 Muffins? Muffins it is. 43 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,360 This is so... 44 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,840 You just flip a coin, make a decision. 45 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,080 You can't live that way. 46 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,480 Let's go to Atlantic City. 47 00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:46,560 What? Yeah, to gamble the $100. 48 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,240 Oh, I don't know. Oh, come on, Bert. We're playing with house money. 49 00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:54,320 House money? Yes. Where did you learn an expression like that? We had riverboat 50 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:55,840 night at the community center. 51 00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:00,320 Let's flip the coin and decide which way to go. Heads we go, tails we stay. All 52 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:03,760 right, here we go. And Atlantic City, you go. Yeah, let's do it. 53 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:09,160 Someone like you to meet my friend Molly and her son Logan. Hi, Logan. 54 00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:11,660 What, you're dating a woman with a child? 55 00:03:13,820 --> 00:03:16,120 You know, Mom, they're actually at the table. 56 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,020 Ira and I are just old friends. 57 00:03:19,260 --> 00:03:22,980 That's right. Hey, make yourself comfortable, kid. Polly, do me a favor. 58 00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:24,100 Logan a math question. 59 00:03:24,340 --> 00:03:26,740 A math question? Yeah, yeah, I'm serious. Go ahead. Anything. 60 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:27,939 All right. 61 00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:32,620 What is 418 times 642? 62 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,480 168 ,356. 63 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:38,960 That's right. 64 00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:42,220 Muffins. Thank you very much. 65 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,860 Okay. All right. Just a second, everybody. 66 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:49,120 What? Look at my muffin. What about it? My muffin looks like Madonna. 67 00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:51,820 It does not. 68 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:53,100 From Evita? 69 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:54,360 Oh, my God. 70 00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:08,730 coin and pick a restaurant where you guys find $100. We flip it again to pick 71 00:04:08,730 --> 00:04:12,270 muffins over breadsticks and you end up with a muffin that looks exactly like 72 00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:13,710 Madonna. Oh, scary. 73 00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:15,830 Paul? 74 00:04:16,930 --> 00:04:18,690 Paul Buckman. Yeah, yeah, Lou. 75 00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:19,910 How are you doing? 76 00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:20,709 How are you? 77 00:04:20,709 --> 00:04:24,010 It's been a while. How have you been, sir? Great. Good. I'm working over at 78 00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:28,610 television news magazine show Hard Edition now. Oh, is that right? Yeah, 79 00:04:28,610 --> 00:04:31,190 Edition. Good, good, good. Just started over at Hard Edition. 80 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,240 Get my first segment produced over there in hard edition. 81 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:37,480 Good for you. 82 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:38,900 Okay. 83 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,480 You know my wife, Jamie? Oh, I know you. 84 00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:46,700 Lou Bonaparte, hard edition. 85 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,320 Lou Bonaparte, hard edition. 86 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:54,200 You know, Paul, I couldn't help but overhear you saying you had miraculously 87 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,060 received a muffin that looks exactly like the Madonna. 88 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,440 No, not the Madonna. Madonna, the singer. 89 00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:03,920 I don't see it. From Evita. I see it. 90 00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:07,220 It's miraculous, Paul. 91 00:05:07,780 --> 00:05:09,880 This could be a sign from the Almighty. 92 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,560 Do you understand what we're saying? It's Madonna the singer. 93 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:19,000 Not Celine Dion or Lou Rawls or someone whose name has no religious underpinning 94 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,460 whatsoever. Madonna, Paul. 95 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,100 And you say you haven't had a segment produced yet, huh? 96 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:26,940 No, because... Paul. 97 00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:28,580 What are your plans for the muffin? 98 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:33,340 Um, um, plans? I don't know that we have plans, Lou. A little butter, have some 99 00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:34,480 coffee with the muffin. That's about it. 100 00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:38,680 That muffin has hard edition written all over it, and I'm telling you, we'll pay 101 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,620 you for it. We'll pay you handsomely for it. For the exclusive rights to a story 102 00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:42,559 on the muffin. 103 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:43,560 Handsomely? 104 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:44,720 Embarrassingly handsomely. 105 00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:48,280 Wow. Enough maybe to sock away for, oh, our daughter's education? 106 00:05:49,460 --> 00:05:51,940 Look at that. Well, because I'm against education for my daughter. No, I'm 107 00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:54,700 saying that he's going to pay us handsomely. Yeah, because I have no 108 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,050 So you're worried about... about the integrity of the muffin? 109 00:06:02,190 --> 00:06:04,190 Here's how we settle it. Watch this. Ready? 110 00:06:06,870 --> 00:06:11,090 Can you tell us, was there any special way the coin was chosen? 111 00:06:13,030 --> 00:06:14,710 No, Lou, there really was not. 112 00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:20,030 I needed a quarter, because I was doing a laundry, and we were trying to pick a 113 00:06:20,030 --> 00:06:22,990 restaurant, so I just reached into the change bowl. 114 00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:31,460 Funny. Fantastic. So, in a way, this is the coin of destiny. 115 00:06:33,740 --> 00:06:37,540 Lou, what would I have to say to you to make this less of a big deal? No, no, 116 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:38,599 no. 117 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,600 No, no, no. 118 00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:43,560 I'm with you. I'm with you. For want of a load of laundry, the coin of destiny 119 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:44,560 was born. 120 00:06:44,660 --> 00:06:48,400 And from that coin of destiny, an epic muffin. 121 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,740 From the epic muffin. Both of you, just stop it. 122 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:53,780 Why can't you just believe? 123 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,320 Lou, do you think you pretty much have everything you need now? Nope. 124 00:06:58,540 --> 00:06:59,540 Tip of the iceberg, my friend. 125 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,400 Hey. Hey. Hi. Hey. Hi. 126 00:07:02,820 --> 00:07:05,300 Paul, can I talk to you for a minute? Sure. Yes, and when you're talking to 127 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,660 Paul, you can talk to hard edition. 128 00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:08,400 If you don't mind, just Paul. 129 00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:09,700 All right, sir. 130 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:11,679 What's up? 131 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:12,780 Well, let me ask you something. 132 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:14,820 What did you think of Logan? 133 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,780 Nice kid. Liked him. Nice. Yeah? 134 00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:21,960 That's all? Like a human abacus, but... Just nice. Nice kid. 135 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,440 Why? I think he might be my son. 136 00:07:26,130 --> 00:07:30,650 I'm sorry, what? Yeah, yeah. Molly, she's not sure who Logan's father is, 137 00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:34,490 He's 12 years old, and it was about 12 years and 9 months ago that Molly and I 138 00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:35,490 were together. 139 00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:37,370 In my life, I've never heard you mention Molly. 140 00:07:37,610 --> 00:07:40,310 It was just a one -time thing. It was during Hands Across America. 141 00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,710 You mean during the actual demonstration? 142 00:07:46,150 --> 00:07:47,150 Yeah. 143 00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:49,810 Okay, so here's the thing. You were just supposed to be holding hands. 144 00:07:51,910 --> 00:07:55,150 Come on. You're standing with a cute girl in a ditch holding hands? 145 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,360 Any moron could close that deal. 146 00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:02,040 Hey, how come you just got one kind of mustard? 147 00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:04,280 Because we're cavemen. 148 00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:08,580 What are you going to do about this now? I'm going to go down after this and I'm 149 00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:09,580 going to get a blood test. 150 00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:11,320 Wow. You know what? 151 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,840 I'll bet you it's nothing. I'll bet you you'll be free and clear. 152 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,720 Yeah, well, Paulie, here's the thing. 153 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,900 I'm not sure I want it to be free and clear. 154 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:21,020 What are you talking about? I mean, I like this kid. I really do. 155 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,540 It's strange. I feel like a connection with him. I can't explain it. 156 00:08:26,050 --> 00:08:28,050 Ira, Ira, Ira, Ira, Ira, Ira. 157 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,490 Let me explain something to you. 158 00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:35,470 Fatherhood is a very complicated thing. You don't just walk into a relationship. 159 00:08:35,590 --> 00:08:36,610 There's a lot of this building. 160 00:08:36,909 --> 00:08:37,909 Cut it out. 161 00:08:39,150 --> 00:08:42,530 What do you think? I know that. You think this is some goofball impulse? 162 00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:46,610 I am profoundly moved by the notion that this could be my flesh and blood, and 163 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,890 I'm deeply, deeply drawn to him as a parent. 164 00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:50,950 Okay, okay. I'm sorry. 165 00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:01,740 I want to talk to the coin. Oh, for God's sake, Marvin. 166 00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:05,480 Ask the coin if I should call my ex -girlfriend one more time. 167 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,560 Marvin, it's a coin. No, it's not. It's the coin of destiny. 168 00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:14,380 It's a quarter. 169 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,480 You used to be a lot wackier. 170 00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:19,860 All right, 171 00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:23,280 Marvin. Okay, yes, it is the coin of destiny, but it's the coin of... 172 00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:27,470 Very small destiny. You know, it's the coin of muffins versus breadsticks. It 173 00:09:27,470 --> 00:09:29,190 not the coin of life decisions. 174 00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:31,090 Thanks, Paul. 175 00:09:31,610 --> 00:09:32,690 All right, all right, all right. 176 00:09:33,430 --> 00:09:35,590 How many times have you called her already? 177 00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:38,210 Uh, that one doesn't count. 178 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,370 Eighteen. 179 00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:45,710 Yikes. Okay, Marvin, the coin feels you should seek counseling. 180 00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:48,830 Flip it, please. 181 00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:52,890 All right, all right, all right. Heads, you don't call her in tails. Give her a 182 00:09:52,890 --> 00:09:53,749 call. 183 00:09:53,750 --> 00:09:56,550 Heads. So, definitely, the answer is don't call her. Flip it again. 184 00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:00,190 Heads. Flip it again. 185 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:05,410 Heads. Flip it again. Marvin, don't do this to yourself. Just go ahead. 186 00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:08,270 Heads. 187 00:10:08,630 --> 00:10:11,170 Okay. All right. Let's test the coin. 188 00:10:12,130 --> 00:10:13,089 Let's see. 189 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:17,830 Ask it if I'm a five -foot -one Swedish woman. 190 00:10:21,590 --> 00:10:22,509 Tails. Wow. 191 00:10:22,510 --> 00:10:23,449 Stupid coin. 192 00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:25,310 Hey, hey, hey, don't insult the coin. 193 00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:28,150 Note to self, coin may be bigger story than muffin. 194 00:10:29,850 --> 00:10:33,550 Well, I'll give you $100 to just get out of here. Yeah, just throw our money 195 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,690 around. I'm just saying, as an exp... Oh, hello. 196 00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:38,970 Oi! Hi, Pop, where are you? Oh, Atlantic City. 197 00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:40,470 Atlantic City. Yay, winning or losing? 198 00:10:40,910 --> 00:10:42,770 Winning! Oh, really? How much? 199 00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:44,530 $9 ,500! 200 00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:48,130 You guys won $9 ,500? 201 00:10:48,910 --> 00:10:52,670 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have to go. Okay. All right. You know what? Go and enjoy 202 00:10:52,670 --> 00:10:53,670 it. Okay. Bye. 203 00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:56,450 Okay. That is the coin of destiny. 204 00:10:56,930 --> 00:11:00,130 Stop it. You still don't believe it? No, I don't believe it. All right. Fine. Do 205 00:11:00,130 --> 00:11:00,989 me a favor. 206 00:11:00,990 --> 00:11:02,030 How you doing? 207 00:11:02,450 --> 00:11:05,390 All right. Listen. Do me a favor. Ask that coin a question for me, will you? 208 00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:11,510 Okay. Okay. What? Fine. Ask that coin if my husband, Paul, ordered $30 worth of 209 00:11:11,510 --> 00:11:14,250 dinner last night to be delivered here while I was sleeping, even though there 210 00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:15,250 was plenty of food in the house. 211 00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:21,340 Excuse us one second. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 212 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:24,540 I don't want you to hear this. Go ahead, ask it. I don't... I would never do 213 00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:26,700 that. Uh -huh, ask the coin. Well, I don't have to ask the coin because I 214 00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:29,280 would never do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead, ask it. I don't have to ask it 215 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,120 because I know I would never... Yeah, and at the same time, ask it if you left 216 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,120 half an egg roll on the nightstand. 217 00:11:32,740 --> 00:11:33,740 Huh. 218 00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:39,320 I left an egg roll on the night... Yeah, you're talking crazy. Uh -huh, ask it, 219 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,400 ask it, ask it. Just ask it. 220 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:41,800 Okay, fine. 221 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,000 All right? 222 00:11:43,140 --> 00:11:44,200 Coin is wrong. Uh -huh. 223 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:45,289 Coin is wrong. 224 00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:48,190 Ask it if you bought the Fleetwood Mac Laser Disc, even though you already own 225 00:11:48,190 --> 00:11:49,190 the CD box set. 226 00:11:49,490 --> 00:11:54,090 I didn't, A. 227 00:11:54,450 --> 00:11:57,270 And two, they're very different because one doesn't... Ask it, ask it, ask it. 228 00:11:57,910 --> 00:11:58,910 Okay. 229 00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:02,810 Coin wrong again, wrong again. Ask it if you've been making calls to brokers to 230 00:12:02,810 --> 00:12:03,850 get floor seats for the Nick game. 231 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,790 What do you know? You tailing me? Ask it. 232 00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:12,570 All right, that's the coin of destiny. Thank you. Now do you believe? Yes, I 233 00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:13,570 believe. 234 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:20,680 Look at that. 235 00:12:20,860 --> 00:12:21,860 It's unbelievable. 236 00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:25,620 It looks like it's going to jump right up off the plate and sing Don't Cry For 237 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:26,620 Me Argentina. 238 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:28,440 Hey, everybody. 239 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,340 Howdy, Oracle and Mrs. Oracle. 240 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,620 Oh, Lou, you're hovering again. 241 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:33,820 Not hovering. 242 00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:38,680 Investigating. Okay, Pauly. Yes. The question is, should I buy 500 shares of 243 00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:40,920 Eastman Kodak? Let's take a look, shall we? 244 00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:44,180 Call your broker. I love that coin. 245 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,140 Hello, House of Coin. 246 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:51,250 Hi, how you doing? 247 00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:54,190 Oh, I understand. Yeah, okay, hold on. 248 00:12:54,790 --> 00:12:56,790 Okay, that's yes on Proposition 108. 249 00:12:58,530 --> 00:13:01,390 And apparently, no on the bond issue. 250 00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:03,849 Happy to help. 251 00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,330 Okay, that's what we do here at House of Claims. 252 00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:10,090 I'll tell you, I've never been an oracle before, but I've got to say, I like it. 253 00:13:11,670 --> 00:13:12,670 Okay. 254 00:13:13,190 --> 00:13:14,190 All right. 255 00:13:15,350 --> 00:13:16,450 How about this? 256 00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:22,940 Ask your coin if calling my ex -girlfriend is not something I should 257 00:13:22,940 --> 00:13:24,340 I highlight my hair? 258 00:13:24,860 --> 00:13:30,600 Boxers or briefs? The coin is not a toy. In fact, give me that. No, we are not 259 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,340 going to play with it like a bunch of silly children. 260 00:13:33,940 --> 00:13:36,700 Why don't you all just sit there and think about how you're behaving? 261 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,400 Searching for the coin of destiny. 262 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:28,520 I see. 263 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,880 So to me, the coin means hope. 264 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:41,760 Hope that Luann really does love me, and maybe one day there will be joy in 265 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:42,760 my heart again. 266 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,200 Hey. Hey, hey, we're glad to see you. Come here. Ask the coin. 267 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,580 Tonight, should we have Chinese or Italian? 268 00:14:53,329 --> 00:14:55,970 Oh, sweetie, what are we really saying? That we're actually incapable of making 269 00:14:55,970 --> 00:14:57,010 a decision on our own? 270 00:14:58,590 --> 00:14:59,710 Pretty much at this point, yeah. 271 00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:03,350 So, come on, flip the coin. I don't know that we should be relying... Flip the 272 00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:04,349 coin, flip the coin. 273 00:15:04,350 --> 00:15:05,530 Heads Chinese, tails Italian. 274 00:15:07,970 --> 00:15:08,970 Chinese. 275 00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:09,909 There you go. 276 00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,990 Now, the decision made nicely. 277 00:15:12,390 --> 00:15:13,390 Hello? 278 00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:14,630 Hey, Pop. 279 00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:16,830 Uh, well, let me ask. Hang on a second. 280 00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:19,990 Sweetie? It's my dad. Red or black? What? 281 00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:21,610 They were at the roulette wheel in Atlantic City? 282 00:15:21,830 --> 00:15:22,830 Red or black? 283 00:15:23,170 --> 00:15:25,710 The roulette wheel? No, they ate at one point. Red or black? 284 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,510 Red. 285 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:31,530 Red it is. 286 00:15:32,650 --> 00:15:34,830 You got... Oh, I got another call. I'll see you. 287 00:15:35,510 --> 00:15:37,790 Hello? Hey, Mark. How you doing? 288 00:15:38,310 --> 00:15:39,350 Let me ask. Hold on a second. 289 00:15:39,910 --> 00:15:41,710 Sweetie? Yes, Mark. Corned beef or brisket? 290 00:15:43,250 --> 00:15:44,250 Corned beef. Seabee. 291 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,170 You need any help with the side dish? 292 00:15:46,770 --> 00:15:48,050 No, he's okay with the side dish. Okay. 293 00:15:49,420 --> 00:15:51,060 Yeah, enjoy. Okay, got another call. 294 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,160 Hello? 295 00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:54,340 Hi. Who's that? 296 00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:56,380 Millie and Barney Craft. 297 00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:58,960 Oh, you met my folks in Atlantic City there. 298 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:01,480 Oh, isn't that nice? 299 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:02,680 What is it? 300 00:16:02,980 --> 00:16:04,160 I'll be happy to help. Hold on one second. 301 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:05,920 Sweetie, station wagon or a minivan? 302 00:16:08,780 --> 00:16:10,800 A minivan, but I don't think... It's the minivan. 303 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:13,420 Boy, 304 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,660 I'll tell you, you know, with that coin and one of those multi -line phones, I 305 00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:17,660 could be the king of France. 306 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,180 Hey, got any food? Logan. 307 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,260 It's okay. Get some right through there. Thanks. 308 00:16:25,660 --> 00:16:29,060 I thought we'd come over, spend a little time with Logan. Let him establish 309 00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:31,340 those all -important family bonds. 310 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,340 Ivor, don't you think you're getting a little ahead of yourself here? 311 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,360 I'm telling you, I am the kid's father. 312 00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:39,680 Hey, if you don't believe me, forget this blood test. Just ask the coin. 313 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,340 Oh, I don't think we want to hear this. No, why don't you just ask the coin? 314 00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:44,580 What, do you want me to flip my own coin? Flip your own coin. 315 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,780 This is not going to work. This is the only coin of destiny. 316 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:55,060 Honey, I think DNA testing edges out the coin in this case. This is exciting. 317 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,360 Heads on the father, tails on that. 318 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:03,000 And the answer is... Heads. 319 00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:05,599 Wow. 320 00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:07,839 Wow. Wow. 321 00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:12,858 I'm a dad. 322 00:17:12,859 --> 00:17:15,619 You know, this coin has never been tested at all to any degree. 323 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,260 Hey, Polly, how come you only got one kind of mustard? 324 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,480 That's my boy. 325 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,540 I love that you and I have the coin of destiny. 326 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,500 Tweety, this is not the coin of destiny. 327 00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:31,280 Hey, are you losing faith in the coin? 328 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,980 I accidentally put the coin of destiny into the washing machine. 329 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,040 Well, that's not a good use of the coin now, is it? 330 00:17:40,540 --> 00:17:41,540 Gee, really? 331 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,180 Well, go get it back. Yes. All right, I'll do that. Good luck. 332 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,120 It's in here with 5 ,000 other quarters. 333 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:49,880 Oh. 334 00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:51,220 When was this? 335 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,540 Before, when I went down to do the laundry. 336 00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:58,880 So we've been dispensing advice based on a false coin of destiny. This is what 337 00:17:58,880 --> 00:17:59,619 I'm saying. 338 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,000 Well, that's just irresponsible. 339 00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:05,140 You're the one begging me to flip it. Well, I didn't think you'd be so 340 00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:06,140 with it. 341 00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:09,160 Idea for follow -up. Paul and Jamie a year later. 342 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,080 Who is it? It's us. Martin, Sylvia Buckman. 343 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,860 You're irate, parents. 344 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,660 What do you mean, irate? Give me that coin. 345 00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:27,960 Why, why? We want to stamp it and smoosh it and hurt it and bend it. All right, 346 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,920 I get the idea. What happened? What happened? Black. Black happened. 347 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,880 21 roulette wheels in a row, all black. 348 00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,180 Thank you, coin. 349 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:43,200 Wow. Well, the coin is speechless. The coin doesn't know what to say hello. 350 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:44,790 Hey, Mark. 351 00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:45,890 What do you mean, food poisoning? 352 00:18:48,290 --> 00:18:50,910 Oh, that's not... You know what? Just call us when you're done. Okay. 353 00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:56,050 There's a man who wishes he had brisket. 354 00:18:57,710 --> 00:19:00,450 Hey, Marvin. What's... Hi. Hey, everybody. 355 00:19:01,410 --> 00:19:03,970 I'd like to introduce my fiancée, Luanne. 356 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:10,610 Your fiancée? I finally thought, screw the coin of destiny, and I called her. 357 00:19:11,470 --> 00:19:13,690 I just was so impressed by his persistence. 358 00:19:14,730 --> 00:19:16,690 Nineteen times is the charm, huh, guys? 359 00:19:18,050 --> 00:19:22,190 Huh? I guess so. And Marvin's such an angel, he's already paid off all my 360 00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:25,230 cards. Is that right? And he's going to re -sod my lawn. 361 00:19:25,550 --> 00:19:28,010 Oh, that's nice of you. And he agreed to no sex. 362 00:19:30,130 --> 00:19:31,330 Stand back, everybody. 363 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:32,830 She's all mine. 364 00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:38,070 Possible future segment, Husbands Without Hopes. 365 00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:41,590 Hey. Oh, what's the matter? 366 00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:43,590 Blood work came back. And? 367 00:19:43,790 --> 00:19:45,150 And I am not the father. 368 00:19:45,390 --> 00:19:46,390 Oh. 369 00:19:46,870 --> 00:19:47,870 Are you okay? 370 00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:49,010 Yeah, sure, it's okay. 371 00:19:49,070 --> 00:19:51,670 It's a free Tibet rally down at the Yorn a little later. I'm thinking of 372 00:19:51,670 --> 00:19:52,670 stopping by. 373 00:19:53,570 --> 00:19:56,930 Listen, you know, it's a little disappointing, but at least no real 374 00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:57,930 done, you know? 375 00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:02,590 Oh, hi. 376 00:20:02,650 --> 00:20:03,650 Here's your minivan. 377 00:20:05,590 --> 00:20:06,750 Honey, you know the crafts. 378 00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:21,790 No one knows, for sure, which quarter in the pillowcase is the coin of destiny. 379 00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:24,970 Someday, oh, maybe some lucky fella. 380 00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:27,090 Or gal. Thanks a lot. 381 00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:32,710 We'll find the coin and rediscover its amazing powers. 382 00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:34,510 Maybe it'll be you. 383 00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:36,510 Maybe it'll be your neighbor. 384 00:20:37,390 --> 00:20:38,550 Maybe it'll be your uncle. 385 00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:41,230 Maybe it'll be your neighbor's uncle. 386 00:20:41,970 --> 00:20:43,570 Maybe it'll be your uncle's neighbor. 387 00:20:44,670 --> 00:20:45,910 Maybe your uncle is your neighbor. 388 00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:53,870 Or maybe, just maybe, it'll be me, Lou Bonaparte, for Hard Addiction. 31065

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