All language subtitles for mad_about_you_s06e12_separate_planes

Explain to me the logic of bridesmaids'
dresses.

I wish I could. A woman with no taste
gets to pick out dresses for everybody

else. That's just wrong, is what that
is.

The color's called Sunday Salmon.

You know, put some hollandaise sauce
around you, we'll fix you right up.

She was always like this, Laurie. She
was just always selfish and boorish.

Ooh, there's going to be a lot of love
at this wedding, I can tell you.

How would you like it if the groom told
you you had to walk around his wedding

with a big orange bow on your butt?

I would not like it.

Also, we have the matching shoes,
headband, and velvet choker. All Sunday

Sunday. Yay!

I think it's going to be fine. It's
going to be perfectly fine. We'll fly to

.A., we'll do a little wedding, I'll
sneak in a couple of movie meetings, and

then, you know, we'll look at the other
ocean. So where's Ben?

Where's Ben? We're leaving our daughter
for the first time.

My parents are so excited to have her.
You can't believe it. They're literally

vibrating with joy.

How many diapers did you pack?

1 ,500.

No, no, no.

They'll buy more if they need them. All
right, okay.

Wow, the green pajamas?

What's the matter? They're not warm
enough. Give me back.

Really, the stripe like it. Do you want
to pack the bag? I want to get ready.

What time is your play?

1 .30. You sure you're okay with this
whole separate planes thing? Yes, I'm

with the separate planes. I don't
understand it, but I'm okay with it. And

that's a nice hat. Thank you.

It's just that this way, if anything
happens... Come in. No, no, sweetie.

Oh. This way, if God forbid, one plane
goes down, Mabel will not be an orphan.

Okay, I get the thinking. So? It's
just... Who lives like that? That's so

What's grim about it? We are cutting in
half the chances... Come in.

We are cutting in half the chances that
Mabel will lose both her parents. That's

happy. That's happy. Okay, yes, but on
the other hand... Come in. No, that's

I'm saying, on the other hand, we're
doubling the chances that, God forbid,

she's going to lose at least one parent.
All right, well, that's grim.

Can we just stop talking about it?
Because it's making me very

plus it's hurting my hand. Okay.

What is it? Your flight's at 1 .30?
Yeah, yours?

3 .05.

Oh, so you mean on... Yeah, separate
cabs. That's what I'm thinking.

Yeah. You know what? Because if you
want, we can just never spend any time

together. That way there's practically
no chance that we can die

Come in!

No, that was me.

It's Nana and Pop -Pop. You went with
Nana and Pop -Pop, did you? Well, I want

grandpa and grandma, but who the hell am
I?

Oh, what a weekend we're going to have.
There are so many people who are waiting

to meet you. Oh, my God, they're going
to eat their hearts out. Isn't that what

it's really all about, huh? Ready for a
weekend with... Who are we again?

Nana and Pop -Pop. Yep, she's ready for
you, Pop -Pop. No, not Pop -Pop, Pop.

You just said pop -pop. No, for Mabel,
it's pop -pop. For you, it's pop. For

each generation, another pop.

Well, for Mabel's kids, it'll be pop
-pop -pop.

Come here, you little potato.

All right,

what's going on here?

Oh, just a little cold.

A little cold? Pop, you just shot your
pancreas onto the couch there.

Just a little cold. I've had them all my
life.

Oh, oh, I don't know about that. I can't
give the baby to you if Dad's got a

cold.

How could you get a cold?

I went out Tuesday with a wet head.
Haven't I told you?

Endlessly.

Take it easy there, my mom.

Nana. Nana. It's never going to catch
on. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

It is Horst the doorman.

Yes, Horst. You have called for a taxi
cab, which is now waiting here.

Okay, thanks. I'll be down in a minute.
Got a little problem here.

What's his name?

Horst? Horst. Horst. German. With a T.
No, you didn't say the T. You said

No, I said the T. No, you didn't. You
know what? You win.

Okay, so now who are we going to get to
watch the baby? Oh, come on. It's

nothing.

I'll get him some tea.

Wait a second. Wait a second.

Joan and Debbie, what are they doing for
the weekend? Oh, they went to Maine.

Maine. That's where their people go for
vacations.

Yes, because that's the headquarters.

Yeah.

All right. Okay.

Fran and Mark. Fran and Mark on our
sickest days. We're better caretakers

they are.

Mom, please. They'll be fine.

Mark, are you there?

Guess not. How about this? Your father
will sleep in the cedar closet.

I said never again.

Ira. Oh, you've got to be kidding.

Ira will do a fine job.

Well, you don't remember when you went
away to tennis camp and you asked him to

watch a turtle?

I'm taking the baby with me.

We have such big plans for the weekend.
I mean, we were going to sit in the park

and make the Millers jealous. I know.
And then we were going to sit in the

and make the Davises jealous. And then
we were going to stay in the elevator

until the Nussbaums came and saw us.
Okay, I get it, Ma. I get it.

Yes.

Yes! It is horse to doorman?

Yes, horse.

Sure, now.

The cab has now started its meter.

Okay, horse, thank you. It reads $2 .50
and counting.

Good to know. Thank you, horse. I feel
compelled.

Hang it up now, horse.

Officially late. I want to tell you,
Paulie, I never would have let Pop -Pop

touch the baby anyway.

Who's Pop -Pop? That's you. Are you
going to travel alone with a baby?

Yes. Do you know how hard it is to
travel alone with a baby? Yes. No, you

Okay, no, I don't.

All right, all right, I think I have
everything.

Please, don't take my baby.

Sometimes you've got to let go.

You know, I think this is really for the
best. This is really going to be fine.

And, you know, I know you had your heart
set on this, but you still get the dog,

huh? You get the dog for the weekend,
and we'll do it another time. I promise

you we'll get Mabel another time, and
I'll make it up to you.

And, hey, listen, you still get the
weekend together, which you're going to

enjoy.

Let me tell you something.

You're going to sleep in the cedar
closet anyway.

We made the play.

Here we go.

Excuse me. Watch it. I'm sorry.

Oh, pardon me.

I'm terribly sorry.

I'm sorry.

Here we go.

You've got to be kidding.

Hi, how are you, sir? I'm changing
seats.

How are you?

You're a really good baby, believe me.
Pal, they all look good at the game. But

this one really is. Yeah, right.

Wait till the ears start to pop.

Or you want to change the poopy diaper
and the lines too long in the bathroom?

Not for me. Thanks just a sec.

Sir, trust me. This is a beautiful
bathroom. Look, look. Come on. Look at

face. How peaceful. Look.

All right.

Okay. Now try it. I understand how you
feel. I really do. I used to be the same

exact way before I had a kid. But you
know what I thought? They love movement.

You see, as soon as this plane takes
off, this baby's going to be just sound

asleep.

Nice to see you.

All right, sir.

Move your stuff.

I'm sorry? Move your stuff.

I didn't... Move your stuff.

I didn't think there was anybody sitting
next to me. It's move your stuff. All

right, all right.

You let Bywin sit by the window so he
can see where it can't.

Bywin, Bywin, Bywin.

Does Byron want to see Gwen Canyon?

Excuse me, do I know you?

Erwin, elbow room.

Erwin, oh, my God, I know you. Well,
lady, you're starting to scare me. Who

you? Do the words, the good room, mean
anything to you?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, the hospital.

Oh, my God, Erwin, look.

I'm here. I'm looking, dumpling.

It's the woman who tried to steal our
room, and we have little Byron. Oh,

me. My contractions were two minutes
apart, and yours were four minutes

I'm so glad you put it all behind you.

It's all blood under the bridge.

So, how are you? You look great.

Fine, thank you. You know, a good room
was actually a great room.

I'm sure it was.

Climate control percale sheets.

Even the stirrups were a pleasure. Glad
it worked out for you.

Where's your baby?

We left her at home this time. My
husband and I are going to a friend's

Oh, and where is he?

We took separate flights for the baby.

That is the stupidest thing I've ever
heard.

No, no, no. No, I'm sorry. I just mean,
Erwin and I discussed it at length

before we finally came to my conclusion,
didn't we? And we decided against it.

It just seems so stupid.

You know what? I would love to spend
this flight just sort of...

Relaxing, catching up on some reading,
just kind of being by myself. Hey, hey,

hey, you recognized me, you know. You
engaged me in conversation.

Believe me, if I could unengage you...
You started in about the good room.

Mea culpa. Fine.

Move over, I gotta pee.

Excuse me, are there any empty seats on
this plane anywhere?

I'm sorry, ma 'am, we're all full up.

I know. I know. It's a little hot back
here.

Daddy's trying to do something about it.
Okay.

Hey, buddy. Huh? Hi.

What's your name?

Uh, Paul.

Well, hey, what do you know? My name's
Earl.

Small world. Yeah.

Hey, do you mind if I hold your baby?

Oh, what was that?

I bet she stops crying.

You know, I'd rather not.

Come on, let me hold the baby.

Yeah, another night.

Let me ask you, Earl, do you know how to
work these fans?

Fans aren't the problem, my friend.

They're not? No.

Well, what's the problem?

First class.

The problem is first class. They don't
have any heat. They're cold.

So they're cranking it up back here,
hoping that it wafts forward.

Well, that's not right.

Tip of the iceberg, my friend. Huh? They
got it great in first class. They got

the big seats. They got the good forks.
They got the good orange slices.

What do you mean the good orange slices?

Oh, you've never seen the orange slices
in first class?

They're the good ones.

None of that white lucky stuff from the
middle of the orange?

No. We get the slices with the white
stuff.

I did not know that. Yes.

Oh, look at the baby.

Hello, little girl.

Oh, what's her name?

Mabel. Oh, that's a lovely name.

Thank you.

We took a lot of heat for that.

Hello, Mabel.

Oh, Melissa.

Carrie, come and go see the baby.

Oh,

there's nothing more adorable than a
father traveling alone with his babies.

Anything we can get you, you let us
know.

Sure. All right. Bye -bye, neighbor.

Bye -bye, pumpkin.

Oh, man, you blew it.

What?

They love you.

You're the adorable father traveling
alone in 12C. You have the power to

change, and you blew it.

What are you talking about?

The heat.

Ask them about the heat. Of course.
Yeah, I should go do that.

I'll watch the kid.

That's okay.

I'll take care of him. Come on, sweetie.

Hey, look who's here. It's your little
friend.

I'm begging you.

Hi,

excuse me. What are you doing here in
first class?

You don't remember me?

Sir. Like ten seconds ago. Look, sir.
12C, single father. Sir. Sir,

this is first class.

You do not belong here. No, I know. I
just want to ask you a favor.

Miss Krabinsk, would you like beluga or
sevruga tonight?

Beluga, of course. Get out of here. Oh,
my God. Is that Lindsay Krabinsk? I'm

not at liberty to say.

President of Columbia Pictures? Sir,
I've asked you nicely to return to coach

class where you belong. Oh, my. You've
got to be the pope to get a meeting with

Lindsay Krabinsk. Sir.

Get on back to coach. No, I know. I
know. I just... Let's go. I just wanted

ask you...

Is there anything I can do for you?

Yes. I just wanted to say the coach
cabin is a little hot, and the baby's

getting uncomfortable, so I was just
wondering, could we turn the heat down

a tad? Oh, I'm sure I can manage that.

Anything else?

Can you tell me, is that Lindsay
Krabinsk?

Uh -huh. Wow!

Anything else?

Um, you know what? The guy behind me
hasn't had a decent orange in, like,

apparently 12 years. So can we find him
something?

Oh, by all means. Yeah? Okay, great.
Anything else?

Um, can I get the whole can of tomato
juice?

Sure. Oh, can you?

Oh,

I love you.

How you doing back there, Earl? A little
cooler now?

By God, it's like Switzerland in
January.

And this orange.

Pretty good, huh?

This is grade A citrus, my friend.

Enjoy. You rang Mr. Buckman?

Yes. Um, I was wondering, what is the,
uh, film today?

Oh, in coach it's broken. And in first
class it's anything you want.

Okay,

let me ask you. If I were to give you a
tape...

and ask you to suggest to Lindsay
Crepence that she watch it, could you do

for me? Gee, I don't know.

You could suggest it to her. She watches
a little bit. She doesn't like it.

Check it right out. I don't know,
because you see... You know what?

It's really not just me.

It's Mabel. Mabel really wants Ms.
Crepence to see the film.

She said... Oh,

I love you.

Oh, good book.

Yeah.

Terrible that he dies.

What are you looking at? Baby's fuss.

No, no, no. I was just... Nothing.

I just miss my daughter.

Oh, you had a little girl.

Yeah. Mabel.

Beautiful name.

Oh, thank you. We took a lot of heat for
that. Oh, well, Byron was no day at the

beach, believe me.

Okay.

You want to hold him?

Yeah, can I? Sure.

Hi. Come here.

Come here. Oh, hi, cutie.

You're pretty good at that.

Thanks. Will it be chicken or fish
tonight?

Chicken.

I'm sorry. We only have one chicken
left. Oh, well, I'm having the chicken.

Dying to have fish? If you think I am
eating airplane fish, you are wrong,

wrong, wrong.

Byron, two words.

Good luck.

Two more words. Boarding school.

All because a guy named Emil Buckman
looked around Vladivostok one day and

to his wife, Gert, how do you feel about
America?

Really? Uh -huh.

Oh, she's crying.

Oh, my God. Oh, I love it when they cry.

Oh, you must be really excited to know
that somebody... What are you doing?

You just turn it right around, mister.

Okay, okay, okay.

Stewardess?

Yes? This was wonderful.

Where did you find this? I haven't heard
a thing about it. Well, actually, Ms.

Krabinsk, the director is on board this
plane, and he's traveling with the most

adorable baby. So cute.

Let me ask you something.

Can you send him up here?

Up here? In first class?

Yes.

But he's in coach. I understand, but
send him up here. But he's in coach.

Miss Kabinsk, hi.

Hi, I'm Paul Buckman. I directed the
film I think you just enjoyed.

Oh, hello, Paul. Hello, very nice to
meet you. And this is little Mabel.

Oh, she really is cute.

Yeah.

Please, won't you sit down?

Really? Thank you so much. Would you
like some caviar?

Well, yes, please.

Beluga or savruga?

Beluga.

And some chips if you got them.

It's a little nippy up here, isn't it?
Oh, yes, I know. I'm sorry. Apparently

some freak back in coach made them turn
down the heat. Here you go. Animals.

Ooh, this is soft.

Paul, I found your film utterly charming
and captivating and... Wow.

Okay, Ms. Grabinski, you have no idea
what that means to me.

Well, I know that I want to see you
first thing tomorrow morning and discuss

future projects.

Future projects?

I would love to do that.

And I love that you'd love to do it.
Well, then I love that back and let's do

it. Okay.

Well,

I'll tell you, it's just amazing what
having a cute baby will do.

I mean, that stewardess, she was falling
all over herself just to help me out.

Even when I slipped her the tape to give
to you, I said, just give it to her.

She couldn't help herself.

Yep, this one is really paying off.

Hang on a second.

You mean to tell me that you used your
daughter to manipulate the fragile

sensibilities of a stewardess?

No, I wouldn't say that.

You did.

You plied Mabel's appeal and took
advantage of an employee's goodwill.

I don't know that.

You connived in that way that people in
my position hate more than life itself.

No, I didn't.

There was no way.

I can't condone or reward this kind of
behavior with a meeting.

You can't?

What kind of a professional would I be?

Oh, you'd be a kind professional. A
compassionate... Look, if there's

anything... Exactly.

Mr. Vince, is there a problem?

Well,

I guess I should... I'm saying... I'm
saying I should be going!

Okay.

Let's go back to coach.

You know what?

And what did you say?

Separate planes. That's right. To avoid
what? A big disaster. That's right. And

what did I say? No separate planes.
That's right. And what happened? Big

disaster. Okay, so we're saying I would
be... Right. That's all I'm saying.

Okay.

It's okay.

It's okay to cry.

I know.

Because you're on a big airplane and
it's scary.

It's scary to be on a plane.

Yes, it is.

That's okay, cry.

You let it out.

We understand how you feel.

Oh, it's okay.

Would you like me to say, ba -ba -black
sheep again?

Ba -ba -black sheep, have you any more?

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Yes,

sir.