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1
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So teeny.
2
00:00:05,590 --> 00:00:06,449
I know.
3
00:00:06,450 --> 00:00:09,650
Love the way her little eyelids flutter.
Really cute.
4
00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:12,670
Is she just the most beautiful thing in
the world?
5
00:00:12,890 --> 00:00:13,970
She looks like a mother.
6
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That one.
7
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Need any help?
8
00:00:33,390 --> 00:00:35,290
No, sir. You have done enough.
9
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You have delivered a child, so from now
on, all the pain will be mine.
10
00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:44,650
Although, you know what? If you could
take this one, it's biting me like you
11
00:00:44,650 --> 00:00:45,650
wouldn't be.
12
00:00:46,150 --> 00:00:47,210
Hi, little sweetie.
13
00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:48,530
Here we are.
14
00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:53,230
Hi, sweet darling. Welcome to your new
home.
15
00:00:58,010 --> 00:00:59,090
It's usually neater.
16
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,269
Look at all these presents you got.
17
00:01:04,830 --> 00:01:07,230
And that's just for being born. You wait
till you do something.
18
00:01:09,230 --> 00:01:10,630
Wow. What?
19
00:01:11,110 --> 00:01:13,170
Just this. This. The three of us.
20
00:01:13,710 --> 00:01:14,710
We're here.
21
00:01:15,050 --> 00:01:16,050
We're all here.
22
00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:17,150
Yes, we are.
23
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:19,910
It's something, huh? It is.
24
00:01:26,430 --> 00:01:27,970
She's saying we have a baby now. Good
God Almighty.
25
00:01:30,030 --> 00:01:31,990
This is going to be okay. It is? Yeah.
26
00:01:33,230 --> 00:01:34,230
Hey, Murray.
27
00:01:34,530 --> 00:01:36,130
Hey, Murray. Look who's here.
28
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,130
Look. A whole new person for you to
smell.
29
00:01:40,270 --> 00:01:43,990
Say hello to possibly Julia.
30
00:01:45,050 --> 00:01:46,870
My Uncle Jules. How about Lily?
31
00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:49,070
Lily. Or my Aunt Lolly.
32
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,310
Lily, Lolly.
33
00:01:51,430 --> 00:01:53,410
Murray, you have a sister.
34
00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:55,650
What do you think about that, huh?
35
00:02:08,430 --> 00:02:09,430
Wait,
36
00:02:12,930 --> 00:02:14,830
wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, okay.
37
00:02:15,770 --> 00:02:16,770
Uh -huh.
38
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:19,610
Already they do that? Okay, okay, okay.
39
00:02:20,170 --> 00:02:22,170
Oh, you know what, sweetie? We got one
of those changing tables you're supposed
40
00:02:22,170 --> 00:02:24,210
to use. You put it right on the changing
table, and then you have to put the kid
41
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,170
right on the table, which is probably
not the... Okay, but that table's good.
42
00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:35,270
Another diaper. Some Desitin and some
baby wipes, please. Coming right up.
43
00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:35,829
we go.
44
00:02:35,830 --> 00:02:36,830
I'm looking.
45
00:02:37,050 --> 00:02:38,690
Crackers? Diaper, diaper, diaper.
46
00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:40,690
Okay.
47
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,870
Diaper, diaper, diaper.
48
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:44,710
Thank you. Thank you.
49
00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:49,590
Maybe not the best trade Daddy ever
made.
50
00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:52,990
Didn't really think this one all the way
through, did I?
51
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:55,900
You know, hold on one second. I'll be
right back.
52
00:02:56,120 --> 00:03:00,880
All right, so the tape goes in the
front, you would think, so it stands to
53
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,520
reason that this must be the front.
54
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,740
So... Put this under here.
55
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,800
And we tape it down on that side.
56
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:15,240
And we tape it down on this side. And we
have... Come here.
57
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:16,500
Come here.
58
00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,220
This is a total disaster.
59
00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:24,010
please? That was the only diaper they
gave us, sweetie.
60
00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:27,030
They sent us home from the hospital with
one diaper?
61
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,730
Yes, it'll be okay. It's okay.
62
00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:31,390
Oh, no,
63
00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:32,630
no. That's a little too tight.
64
00:03:34,650 --> 00:03:36,170
It'll be right back. Where are you
going?
65
00:03:36,490 --> 00:03:37,490
Incinerator.
66
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,310
First poop.
67
00:03:56,430 --> 00:03:57,610
My first husband, Hal.
68
00:03:57,850 --> 00:03:59,050
Your first husband, Hal.
69
00:03:59,410 --> 00:04:00,450
My first husband, Hal.
70
00:04:00,870 --> 00:04:04,030
Both my husbands have been called Hal.
My second husband, Hal, and I have
71
00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:07,310
separated. And my first husband, Hal,
and I are rekindled. All right?
72
00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:11,450
All right, well, good for you, boy. You
know, you're like that woman in the
73
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:15,150
song, Henry VIII. You know, she married
eight guys all named Henry.
74
00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:17,850
Yes, I'm exactly like that.
75
00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:20,690
Would you mind joining me in the living
room, please?
76
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,470
Sure.
77
00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:24,250
They've had a child?
78
00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:25,830
I'm afraid so.
79
00:04:27,690 --> 00:04:29,410
Come on, stick. Will you stick?
80
00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:30,690
It's okay.
81
00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:31,890
Bring me some tape.
82
00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:34,190
Tape? Don't judge me. Just bring me some
tape.
83
00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:37,770
What's the matter? You ever heard of
taping up a diaper before?
84
00:04:38,030 --> 00:04:39,350
Oh, of course I have.
85
00:04:40,470 --> 00:04:42,030
This is really hard.
86
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,329
I know.
87
00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:44,330
Don't patronize me.
88
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,730
No, no, no, no. No patronizing. Thank
you.
89
00:04:47,150 --> 00:04:50,210
I don't understand why I'm having so
much trouble. It seems so simple at the
90
00:04:50,210 --> 00:04:51,930
hospital. Well, you know what?
91
00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:53,330
It's going to be okay.
92
00:04:53,470 --> 00:04:54,470
It is? Yeah.
93
00:04:55,390 --> 00:04:56,470
Okay. Okay.
94
00:04:57,310 --> 00:04:58,310
How does this look?
95
00:04:59,370 --> 00:05:00,370
This.
96
00:05:00,650 --> 00:05:03,950
Liar. You know, when she bends over,
everybody will think it's the flag of
97
00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:04,950
Switzerland. That's good.
98
00:05:06,230 --> 00:05:09,230
Where is she? Huh? Hey. Hey, Uncle Ira.
99
00:05:09,530 --> 00:05:12,030
Say hi to Uncle Ira. Hello, sweetie.
100
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:13,730
Hi, Snooki.
101
00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:15,270
Hi, muffin face.
102
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,250
You got a name yet? We're working on it.
103
00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:19,350
Okay.
104
00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:20,590
Swaddling.
105
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:25,960
Place baby diagonally with head above
folded corner.
106
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:29,900
I mean, folded corner or the pointy
folded corner.
107
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:32,719
Stop watching.
108
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:33,720
Okay.
109
00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:35,280
Kitchen. Sure.
110
00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:41,200
So, boys, I got a gift for the baby,
huh? Oh, you didn't have to do that.
111
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,520
Whoa, whoa. How much money is in here?
112
00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:44,820
A thousand bucks.
113
00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:46,880
What is she, Connie Corleone?
114
00:05:49,090 --> 00:05:50,230
Well, I want a little bet.
115
00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:52,150
On what?
116
00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:53,650
Women's basketball.
117
00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:56,830
Okay, you should be in a meeting all the
time.
118
00:05:57,130 --> 00:05:58,130
Help me.
119
00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:02,370
It's like a cool riddle. It's like some
kind of Rubik's Cube.
120
00:06:02,590 --> 00:06:04,590
It cannot be done. Do it.
121
00:06:04,810 --> 00:06:05,970
Okay. Get away. Get away.
122
00:06:06,190 --> 00:06:09,430
Can you swallow my child? Okay. Get out
of there.
123
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:12,820
It will be okay.
124
00:06:13,180 --> 00:06:16,160
No, it won't. That is such a bunch of
crap about how okay it's going to be.
125
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:17,580
Okay. You want to hear a little secret?
126
00:06:17,940 --> 00:06:19,300
As parents, we may suck.
127
00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:23,480
First of all, can I just say, I think
you're doing great. I do not. Yes, I do.
128
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,480
You do not? Yes, Ira, don't I think
she's doing great? Please don't make me
129
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,480
now.
130
00:06:28,260 --> 00:06:31,800
Look, isn't there somebody we could
call? Like a guy, a swaddling guy?
131
00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:34,419
Who is it?
132
00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:38,260
Oh, thank living God. There's a great
swaddler right there. Look how life
133
00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:39,740
provides. Hi, Ira.
134
00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:41,060
Carissa. Hi.
135
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:43,050
Hi, it's Weenie! Hi, Mom!
136
00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:45,490
Hi!
137
00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:49,930
How are you? Oh, I'm good, I'm good.
138
00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:51,150
How's the baby?
139
00:06:51,270 --> 00:06:52,270
She's good.
140
00:06:52,810 --> 00:06:53,910
Was the traffic bad?
141
00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:55,810
No, it was very light.
142
00:06:56,050 --> 00:06:58,210
Honey, I can't breathe.
143
00:06:58,410 --> 00:06:59,410
Oh, I'm sorry.
144
00:06:59,870 --> 00:07:03,370
I brought you some things, a tin of
casserole and some diapers.
145
00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:05,190
Oh, diapers and casserole, my favorite.
146
00:07:13,739 --> 00:07:15,120
Oh, hello, precious.
147
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,000
Hello, pumpkin.
148
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,080
Hello, sweet cheese.
149
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,160
No names.
150
00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:25,980
Interesting diaper. I know.
151
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,660
You know, it's funny you should say that
because anything you can do to show us
152
00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:32,520
how to make it less interesting and more
normal, we would love that. Oh, no.
153
00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:35,120
No, no, no, no.
154
00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:37,060
Why not?
155
00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:38,100
Because.
156
00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:43,490
When I had you, my mother butted in big
time, and I swore to myself that I would
157
00:07:43,490 --> 00:07:47,310
never, ever, ever be one of those
mothers who butt in. No, no, no. Please
158
00:07:47,310 --> 00:07:51,130
in. I need you to butt in. I have no
idea what I'm doing. Not a clue. Hey.
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00:07:51,130 --> 00:07:52,130
saying.
160
00:07:53,510 --> 00:08:00,050
Well, all right, but I'm not going to
butt in. I can pitch in, but just
161
00:08:00,050 --> 00:08:03,590
very, very little. That would be great.
Pitching in would be what you want. A
162
00:08:03,590 --> 00:08:05,930
little bit of pitching in, please. A
little pitching in. Okay.
163
00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:11,030
Would you get the changing table,
please, and bring it over here? Got it.
164
00:08:11,130 --> 00:08:15,410
I need some baby wipes, cotton balls,
and a dry washcloth. Coming right up.
165
00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:18,250
also some index cards and a magic
marker. Okay.
166
00:08:18,590 --> 00:08:21,170
Let's see if Grandma can still cut it.
167
00:08:21,390 --> 00:08:22,650
All right, sweetheart.
168
00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:28,950
Here we go, darling. Yes, here we go.
Okay, now, the key to diapering is a
169
00:08:28,950 --> 00:08:30,050
simple mnemonic divide.
170
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,309
F -W -E -E -T.
171
00:08:32,669 --> 00:08:34,210
Sweet. Sweet. Yes?
172
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:35,470
Survey.
173
00:08:36,179 --> 00:08:37,559
W -Y -E.
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00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,039
Entertain the baby.
175
00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:48,860
Ease out, Mr. Old Dirty Diaper. T -Tie
up, Mr. Old Dirty Diaper. And send him
176
00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:49,880
his way.
177
00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:52,660
How is it me again?
178
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,940
Now, it's time for Mr. Clean Diaper.
179
00:08:58,980 --> 00:09:02,320
You're so glad you're here. Believe me,
this is such a... Somebody was done
180
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,320
already.
181
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,760
You may want to write that down. Hey,
that's what I'm doing.
182
00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:13,720
Now, swaddling is simple. Just think of
the word tuba.
183
00:09:14,260 --> 00:09:18,020
Tuck under both arms. This is just
brilliant.
184
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,240
Look at that. Tuba.
185
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:26,800
Now it's time to discuss the crib
placement. Mom, I'm so thrilled with my
186
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,480
and my tuba. I'm just going to perfect
that for a while. All right, honey. I'm
187
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:34,420
going to go wash my hands again.
Remember, always wash your hands and
188
00:09:34,780 --> 00:09:36,160
Are we off?
189
00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:41,420
What? Oh, oh, oh, oh, y 'all. Oh, y
'all. Oh, y 'all.
190
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,640
No, honey, that was just talking.
191
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,440
Oh, that's not a thing. Okay.
192
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:49,640
Honey,
193
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:51,140
would you help me, please?
194
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:53,619
Who's that?
195
00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:54,620
It's me.
196
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,380
Bert. Bert Buckman.
197
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:57,600
Your father.
198
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,360
Come in, family. Hi.
199
00:10:00,580 --> 00:10:01,600
Oh, hi. Hello.
200
00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:04,920
Hello. There she is.
201
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,380
Oh, hello, doll face.
202
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:08,960
Hello, sugar.
203
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,100
Hello there.
204
00:10:11,540 --> 00:10:12,800
No name yet? No,
205
00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:14,940
they got books now.
206
00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:16,820
Great.
207
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,180
You like tuna casserole? Apparently,
tremendously.
208
00:10:20,380 --> 00:10:22,920
What is this? Oh, your mother. She's
down in the lobby.
209
00:10:23,260 --> 00:10:24,540
What's she doing down in the lobby?
210
00:10:24,740 --> 00:10:25,740
Hello.
211
00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:35,970
I have what I believe to be the
beginnings of a cold, and I don't want
212
00:10:35,970 --> 00:10:36,909
the baby sick.
213
00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:38,650
That's very considerate of you, Sylvia.
214
00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:42,730
Oh, not at all. I'm just so glad to be
here in the lobby.
215
00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:48,990
Later, Bert will describe my grandchild
to me. Bert, did you give them the
216
00:10:48,990 --> 00:10:50,030
casserole and the book?
217
00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:51,650
Oh, yeah, yeah.
218
00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:55,490
What is it? There's more tuna? Why don't
we put these in the fridge? Yeah, you
219
00:10:55,490 --> 00:10:57,930
know what? Put it next to its friends,
the other casserole.
220
00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:00,510
Yeah.
221
00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:03,770
So I can hear.
222
00:11:04,570 --> 00:11:05,569
Tape it.
223
00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:08,530
Sure. Okay, Ma. Can I say hello to the
baby?
224
00:11:08,810 --> 00:11:12,350
Sure. Hold her up to the microphone so
she can hear me.
225
00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:15,670
Oh, you know, she can hear you. She can
hear you, Ma. Believe me. Babies in
226
00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:18,990
Japan can hear you. Hold her up to the
microphone. I'm holding her.
227
00:11:20,170 --> 00:11:23,130
Sir, is he holding her up? Uh -huh.
228
00:11:23,570 --> 00:11:25,330
Fine. Leave her in the bassinet.
229
00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:27,530
Hello, sweetheart.
230
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:36,220
Girl, these parents should stop fooling
around and pick a name already.
231
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:37,940
Murray,
232
00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:39,940
what are you doing down there?
233
00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:44,060
Murray, it's me, Bert.
234
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,320
Bert Bachman, Paul's father.
235
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,600
What's the matter with him? He's sulking
or something.
236
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:51,960
He's scared of the baby.
237
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:53,380
Murray.
238
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,360
Some nut.
239
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,240
Oh, hi, Bert.
240
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,500
Hello.
241
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:06,560
Is this a good time now? Good time to
discuss crib placement and its impact on
242
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,560
her IQ.
243
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:09,240
Oh, hello.
244
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,000
Hi. Look who's here. It's the gals.
245
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:20,140
You know, I think it's just wonderful
how the two of you are sticking with it.
246
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:25,360
Jamie, we need a refrigerator allocation
discussion.
247
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,900
This cottage cheese, sentimental value?
We were wondering because it's blue now.
248
00:12:29,020 --> 00:12:30,520
Okay, I'll be right there.
249
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,380
Will you excuse me for one second?
250
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,280
If it would help, I could eat something.
251
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:35,620
Try the casserole.
252
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:41,340
I'm going to go. What do you mean? No,
no, no, no. Where are you going now? No,
253
00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:42,580
Jamie doesn't want me here.
254
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,320
You know, excuse... Hello?
255
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,360
Listen, I'd like to make a suggestion.
256
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:51,080
Ma, hang on one second. Believe me, she
really does. I swear to you. You know, I
257
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:54,480
went through a similar thing with my
mother. Yeah, okay, Ma, you know, it's
258
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,420
to hear you now because I can't...
You're breaking up.
259
00:12:56,620 --> 00:13:03,030
I found that if I just... Jamie. very
much wants you here. No, she doesn't.
260
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:04,030
She's just being polite.
261
00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:05,490
Not true.
262
00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:08,490
Paul, she's got you. You know what to
do.
263
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:12,450
Come on, you're a natural father.
264
00:13:12,770 --> 00:13:16,690
Well, you can become a natural. I don't
think so.
265
00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:20,030
You've got all these books. You can read
books.
266
00:13:20,230 --> 00:13:21,370
Yeah, but the books are not real.
267
00:13:23,590 --> 00:13:24,590
They have pictures.
268
00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:26,270
Even the pictures? Pretty pictures.
269
00:13:27,130 --> 00:13:33,830
When you and Jamie, you can take... So,
you want me to stay?
270
00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:36,650
Stay.
271
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,270
Time to feed the baby.
272
00:13:57,450 --> 00:14:01,490
You have to feed her every two and three
quarter hours. In other words, now. So,
273
00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:05,430
come on. Up and out. No, no, no, no, no,
no. I was going to feed her every four
274
00:14:05,430 --> 00:14:09,330
hours or when she cries. You know, every
two or three. If you want your baby to
275
00:14:09,330 --> 00:14:10,450
have to cry for her meals.
276
00:14:11,230 --> 00:14:17,390
I don't want her to have to cry. Well,
the crying is about to begin, so it's up
277
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,390
to you.
278
00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:19,950
Okay, okay.
279
00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:22,030
So, we're up, we're up, we're up, we're
up.
280
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:29,660
We're going to go over here to mine. Oh,
my gosh, she's beautiful.
281
00:14:29,860 --> 00:14:33,880
Honey, honey, you don't want her to just
take the nipples. You want her to take
282
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,900
the entire areola. I know, I know.
283
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,140
She's just the most beautiful.
284
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:57,560
Look at her.
285
00:14:58,420 --> 00:14:59,620
What a thing, huh?
286
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,160
What a thing this is.
287
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:04,560
Man, I'm hungry.
288
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:12,960
How we doing?
289
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,680
Just love this so much.
290
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:17,080
Hey, little baby.
291
00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:18,460
Treasure.
292
00:15:20,980 --> 00:15:21,980
That's enough.
293
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:24,820
Mom, I think she's still hungry. Honey.
294
00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:26,330
Honey, no, no, that's enough.
295
00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:27,950
Okay, sweetie.
296
00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:29,810
Okay, sweetie.
297
00:15:30,810 --> 00:15:33,070
Okay. Okay, honey. Oh, yeah.
298
00:15:33,550 --> 00:15:34,550
Oh, yeah.
299
00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:40,730
All right. Now, Paul, after the meal
comes... Pie?
300
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,050
Burping. Burping. Okay, yeah. All right.
I knew that one, too.
301
00:15:46,270 --> 00:15:51,050
The best way to burp, darling, is put
her on your lap, and here's how you
302
00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:51,959
remember it.
303
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:56,260
Gently rub, evenly pat, securely held.
Or grips.
304
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,980
Okay. I think that's my favorite one so
far.
305
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,980
I think I'm just going to burp her on my
shoulder. That would be unfortunate.
306
00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:05,700
I think it's a perfectly good way to do
it.
307
00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:09,060
Well, yes, unless you'd like her to
actually burp.
308
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,260
Mom, I'm going to burp my child on my
shoulder, okay?
309
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:14,840
Fine.
310
00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:18,260
Fine.
311
00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:19,660
Here we go.
312
00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:23,200
Oh, now, don't you mutter at me, Missy.
If it were up to me, I wouldn't even be
313
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:27,440
here. But when I wanted to leave a long
time ago, your husband wouldn't let me
314
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,440
out the door.
315
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,280
Is that true?
316
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,159
Excuse us?
317
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,099
You know what, sweetie?
318
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,100
You know what? Stay.
319
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:43,300
Hi, Sylvia.
320
00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:46,060
Oh, my God. I didn't want the baby to
catch my cold.
321
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:47,840
I can't believe you're still here.
322
00:17:04,170 --> 00:17:05,670
Goodness, she's so beautiful.
323
00:17:07,130 --> 00:17:08,790
I can go home now. Thank you.
324
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:10,010
You're welcome.
325
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,290
No.
326
00:17:11,770 --> 00:17:14,710
I mean... Thank you.
327
00:17:18,030 --> 00:17:21,770
All right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry. Just say it. I'm saying
328
00:17:21,770 --> 00:17:25,010
I'm very sorry. Just say you're scared
I'm not going to be a good mother.
329
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,210
That's not even true.
330
00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:27,410
You know you want to say it.
331
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:29,850
You're not supposed to be it yet. What?
332
00:17:30,990 --> 00:17:31,990
Nothing. Good?
333
00:17:32,930 --> 00:17:38,980
Yeah. Aha. Okay, you happy now? So now
I, you know, I tell your mother to go
334
00:17:38,980 --> 00:17:39,980
home.
335
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,800
What? I'm going to go upstairs and I'll
say, listen, we don't need you. We're
336
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:43,800
fine. Go home.
337
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:44,960
And then what?
338
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,160
Then she goes home.
339
00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:47,620
And then what?
340
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:48,840
Then we're in charge.
341
00:17:49,780 --> 00:17:50,780
What, are you kidding me?
342
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:56,340
She's the only person in this house with
any clue how to care for a human life.
343
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,800
Yeah, okay, right now, but... I cannot
even get this child to burp. Hey, she'll
344
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,800
burp.
345
00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:05,950
Any luck? No, not yet.
346
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:12,450
You
347
00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:21,650
know
348
00:18:21,650 --> 00:18:22,770
what it's like?
349
00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:27,270
Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Perfect.
350
00:18:27,870 --> 00:18:33,710
You know how... Honey, before you pull
something, I think you can go home now.
351
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,320
Really? Yeah.
352
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,340
You want me to go?
353
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:46,220
I just wish I could be sure you'd be all
right without me. Well, we can't.
354
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,480
I'll leave in the morning.
355
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,180
What a little goddess you are. Even I
feel better now.
356
00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:01,020
Hold the lift.
357
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:21,579
What's its name?
358
00:19:21,580 --> 00:19:22,580
They don't know yet.
359
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,880
Coochie, coochie, coochie, coo.
360
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:33,360
Well,
361
00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:38,380
good night then.
362
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,660
I've got a couple more mnemonics. Maybe
I can give them to you now. Sure, Mom.
363
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:48,890
Good. Now, as to... the temperature of
the room she sleeps in, remember, cooler
364
00:19:48,890 --> 00:19:50,430
really is better.
365
00:19:50,910 --> 00:19:51,910
Crib.
366
00:19:52,390 --> 00:19:56,830
And the most important one of all,
whenever you go anywhere, no matter what
367
00:19:56,830 --> 00:20:01,690
you're packing, just remember, mothers
always bring extra love.
368
00:20:03,330 --> 00:20:05,530
Marble. Okay. Marble.
369
00:20:07,950 --> 00:20:11,530
Mabel. Mabel. Oh, I like that. I love
that.
370
00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:13,630
That wasn't so difficult.
371
00:20:18,090 --> 00:20:22,290
And so we are thrilled and excited to
tell you that after an exhaustive
372
00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:24,210
we have finally named our child.
373
00:20:24,570 --> 00:20:25,570
Well, there we go.
374
00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:29,530
We would like you all to meet Mabel.
375
00:21:06,540 --> 00:21:07,540
Eureka!
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