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What are you reading?
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Julius Caesar.
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Oh, that's for your Shakespeare group?
4
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Uh -huh.
5
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That's so cool that you do stuff like
that. I should do stuff like that. It's
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00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,680
good. Keeps the brain sharp, keeps the
wit sharp, the IQ up there.
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Keeps you interesting to your mate.
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Huh?
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Doesn't really matter.
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00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:43,970
Tell me why I love you, love you, love
you. Tell me who can start my heart as
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much as you.
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00:00:45,350 --> 00:00:48,930
Tell me all your secrets. I'll tell you
most of mine.
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This ain't nobody's perfect.
14
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Well, that's really true this time.
15
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I don't have the answers.
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I don't have a plan.
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James,
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put the book down. Stop dilly -dallying.
Get going. I'm going, I'm going. You've
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got big things to do. Big day for Jamie.
20
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What?
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It's quitting time.
22
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Quitting time.
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00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:37,580
Jamie, you're quitting today?
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Yes, I am. Yeah, yeah. Well, she says
she is, but she tried a hundred times,
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then she just cannot bring herself to do
it. I can do it. I'm just worried about
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Lance. What's going to become of him? He
will be fine without you. Believe me,
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he's ready for this. Trust me, he is
prepared.
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I can quit any time I want to. You know
what you need? A little withdrawal
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patch. I'm waiting for the right time.
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When would that be? What, are you going
to just shout out the words while
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actually having the baby?
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I've been waiting for Lance's campaign
to get an upswing, and it's finally on
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one. It's a huge upswing. It is.
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We're up in the polls. We finally have
money coming in, and as a crowning
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achievement, I've booked him on
Newsnight with Judy Kaufman. Wow, she
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Pope on last night. You know that I've
never ever seen Newsnight?
37
00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:21,010
Why not?
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I don't know.
39
00:02:22,110 --> 00:02:23,190
It's all in opposite Popeye.
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00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,950
What happened to all the umbrellas? Huh?
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The umbrellas.
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Oh, I think I have some in my office.
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How many?
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Six.
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Fran, Fran, it's a bird.
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You say that like this happens all the
time.
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Hey, look for the eyes.
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Don't look. Go for the eyes.
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What the hell is a bird flying in here
for? You left the window wide open.
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Since when is that an invitation to
exotic birds?
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Leave the door open, what is a cougar
going to walk in?
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I have to get to work and lead Fran to
safety. Will you get rid of it, please?
53
00:03:01,220 --> 00:03:03,080
Yeah, I'll do that, because as you know,
I am a falconer.
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00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:08,440
Hey, Murray, take care of that.
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What am I paying you for?
56
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This sounds like a really great plan, I
think.
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You boys think you have the cojones to
do this?
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Yes. Yes, Arthur.
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TV studio has been taken care of. Is
everything set on your end?
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Everything's set.
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If this goes down the way you promise,
we will be most appreciative.
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How appreciative?
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00:03:34,690 --> 00:03:36,230
This is just a taste.
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My favorite flavor.
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Sorry, I just... Nice blouse.
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Yes, good workmanship.
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May sustain many washings.
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00:04:03,390 --> 00:04:05,530
Thank you. What were you guys doing
outside?
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Outside? Outside.
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Outside?
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Outside.
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00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:13,130
In the alley. I just saw you. What were
you doing?
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00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:14,850
Having a catch.
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00:04:16,730 --> 00:04:17,730
Having a catch?
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Yes, we were having a catch.
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00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:22,350
Why did that man hand you an envelope?
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What envelope?
78
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:25,680
Oh, this envelope.
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Oh, well, I have this one.
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And I asked him to hold it while we were
playing catch.
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00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,240
Hello, everybody. Hey, Lance.
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Hey, who's better than you are? Nobody.
That's who.
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00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:47,040
Jamie, I'm sorry I'm late. My wife, she
had this silly dream that something
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terrible would happen to me today. And
she begged me to stay home.
85
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So weird. I'm reading Julius Caesar. His
wife does the exact same thing.
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And what's the terrible thing that
happens to him?
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He's stabbed to death in public.
88
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:00,780
Ooh, that would be terrible.
89
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,980
Now, whenever you're ready, I'm going to
drill you for your big Newsnight
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00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:05,799
interview today.
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00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:06,800
Oh, my God.
92
00:05:07,420 --> 00:05:08,239
That's it.
93
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,920
That's the terrible thing. Lance, it's
national exposure.
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Yeah, but it's with Judy Kaufman. That
woman tears people to ribbons. Did you
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00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:18,460
see what she did to the Pope? That's
because he wasn't briefed. You will be.
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00:05:18,950 --> 00:05:21,010
It's going to be the best thing that
ever happened to your campaign.
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00:05:21,310 --> 00:05:26,010
No, no, no, no, no. See, I am terrible
at those things. I mean, my mind goes
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blank. I can't remember anything.
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00:05:27,790 --> 00:05:31,230
I say the first thing that pops into my
head. I mean, let's face it, Jamie, I
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choke under pressure. Why I think I can
be mayor is beyond me.
101
00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:39,210
You've gone on television before. You've
done fine. Just be yourself. That's
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what people respond to. Be myself. Be
myself.
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Maybe a slightly idealized version of
yourself.
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I will be with you the whole time. I
will not leave your side. You promise?
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course. Oh, that makes me feel so much
better. I don't know what I'd do without
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you.
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Uh -huh.
108
00:05:57,260 --> 00:06:01,120
Don't chicken out. This is a big
opportunity for us. And if Lance
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00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,320
to get hurt for it to happen, then
that's just too bad for him.
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00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:05,400
What's going to hurt Lance?
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00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,380
Jamie, hi.
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00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:13,440
I was just saying that if Lance
Brockwell ever knew how much we cared
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He would be so overcome with joy that
his heart would actually hurt.
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00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,040
That's what you were saying?
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Did you overhear anything else?
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No. Then yes.
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Okay.
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Lance, can I talk to you for a second?
Sure.
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Now, I know this is going to sound
crazy, but I think you may be the victim
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00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:40,680
some sort of plot.
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00:06:41,340 --> 00:06:44,860
What? I know. I know it sounds crazy,
but I happen to be reading Julius
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00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,840
and I swear it's playing out here.
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Troy and Vladimir are like Brutus and
Cassius, and they're trying to destroy
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you. Those two?
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Hey, Vladimir.
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00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,020
Is my wife around?
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Oh, Jamesy. She's talking to Mr.
Brooklyn.
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00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,140
Oh, what do you call her? Jamesy.
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00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:05,720
Jamie.
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00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:07,500
Jamesy. Jamie.
131
00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:08,740
Jamesy. Jamie.
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00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,160
Jamesy.
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00:07:11,359 --> 00:07:14,340
Jamie. Jamesy. Jamie. Jamesy. Jamie.
Jamesy. Jamie.
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Jamesy.
135
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:16,800
Okay, yes.
136
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:23,900
And then, this morning, a cockatoo flew
into our apartment, and that's in the
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play. It's got to be some kind of omen.
138
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,620
Oh, Jamie, you are so cute.
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00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:34,180
I remember early in my career, I was
reading Crime and Punishment, and I did
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exact same thing. I saw parallels all
over the place. Everywhere I looked,
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was Crime and Punishment, Crime and
Punishment.
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00:07:42,140 --> 00:07:44,560
Of course, I was working in the DA's
office at the time.
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Please, just promise me you'll be
careful around them. I will.
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You found a cockatoo?
145
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Well, actually, it found us.
146
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,580
Why don't you just kill it?
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Kill it?
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00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:00,780
You know, squish it with your foot.
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00:08:02,660 --> 00:08:05,900
It's not a bug, you know. It's a fairly
large bird.
150
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:07,300
So spray it.
151
00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:09,060
Spray it and throw it in the trash.
That's what I would do.
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00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,960
Boy, New York is just losing its small
-town feel, isn't it?
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00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:19,140
Hey.
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00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:20,890
Hi. What are you doing here?
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00:08:21,330 --> 00:08:22,330
Xeroxing for free.
156
00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:23,370
Oh.
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Plus, I am taking my suddenly jobless
wife out for lunch.
158
00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:28,650
So, so, how do you take it?
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00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:30,850
Fine. I haven't told him yet.
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00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:35,510
What are you doing? It's not a good
time. Something is going on around here.
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00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:38,650
Yes, you are procrastinating. I need a
bigger envelope.
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00:08:39,190 --> 00:08:42,950
I'm not procrastinating. Troy and
Vladimir are plotting against Lance.
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00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:46,310
What are you talking about? I'm serious.
It's just like Julius Caesar.
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00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:49,320
Who, Yippie and Yappy?
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00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,280
You will see, they're acting very
shitty.
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00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,440
Here, Jamie, you're going to need the
directions to the Newsnight studio.
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00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:04,180
Shoo!
168
00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:05,660
Shoo!
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00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,780
Hey, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo,
shoo!
170
00:09:09,420 --> 00:09:11,840
Look at him up there looking down at us.
What do you suppose he's thinking?
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00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:14,520
He's thinking, boy, both those guys are
losing their hair.
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00:09:20,699 --> 00:09:23,600
Listen to me. Do you have any idea how
much that thing is worth?
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Cooked or raw?
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00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:30,340
I'm not kidding. This thing is an exotic
bird. It's worth like five grand.
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00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:32,060
Get out of here. I'm serious.
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Somebody pay $5 ,000 for that?
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00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,420
Yeah. People just have too much money.
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00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:42,720
Wally, the guys use this to meet women.
You know, it's like instead of dogs. You
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00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,140
know, you teach them how to talk and
then they hit on chicks for you.
180
00:09:46,780 --> 00:09:48,300
How lazy could you get?
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00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:53,630
They say things that you can't say,
like... Nice ass.
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00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:54,930
I cut it off.
183
00:09:54,990 --> 00:09:56,790
Nice ass. Nothing. Nice ass. Nothing.
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00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:00,990
Listen, you know what? I'll tell you
what we should do.
185
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:03,470
We should capture it. We should sell it
to a pet store.
186
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:06,190
No, no, no. What are you doing? What are
you doing? Shh, shh, shh. You've got to
187
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,190
sneak up on it.
188
00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:08,430
I saw this on Doctari.
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00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:09,650
Oh, I know.
190
00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:15,130
Now what do we do? I've got a plan.
191
00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:16,690
You see, it looks so sad.
192
00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:18,710
It looks melancholy.
193
00:10:19,829 --> 00:10:21,070
I got a melancholy cockatoo.
194
00:10:22,870 --> 00:10:23,870
Here.
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00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,850
What's going on there? What is this? Put
those on.
196
00:10:26,370 --> 00:10:27,910
Pretend we're in the bleachers at Yankee
Stadium.
197
00:10:28,450 --> 00:10:30,050
We're at Yankee Stadium, but we're
making soup?
198
00:10:31,910 --> 00:10:32,829
Come on.
199
00:10:32,830 --> 00:10:34,430
Oh, I don't like this at all. Are you
ready?
200
00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:35,970
Ready? Joke!
201
00:10:36,710 --> 00:10:37,710
Hey, hey, hey!
202
00:10:38,410 --> 00:10:39,410
Ready?
203
00:10:40,210 --> 00:10:41,270
Joke! Come on!
204
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:47,940
See how short a pattern they're all up
in there? No.
205
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,020
I got an idea.
206
00:10:51,060 --> 00:10:52,700
Yes? Shoo!
207
00:10:57,020 --> 00:11:01,620
Where is everybody?
208
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,480
Are you here for sex date?
209
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:05,120
Here, fill this out.
210
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:08,100
Seven months pregnant, I've actually
already had my sex date.
211
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,900
I'm looking for Newsnight.
212
00:11:11,340 --> 00:11:13,560
Oh, Newsnight.
213
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:15,500
They tape across town.
214
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:17,910
God. What?
215
00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:19,570
Have you ever read Julius Caesar?
216
00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:24,450
Uh, no, but there is a great Star Trek
novel where Kirk meets him.
217
00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:34,270
Well, let me handle this. Watch the
master at work.
218
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:38,630
Okay, me and my friend here, we've been,
uh, we've been thinking it over and,
219
00:11:38,670 --> 00:11:41,590
you know, it seems like 5 ,000 would be
fair, huh?
220
00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:43,290
I'll give you $500.
221
00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:44,510
We'll take it. No, no, no.
222
00:11:45,370 --> 00:11:48,990
$500? Come on, you got a bird in the
front window exactly like that for six
223
00:11:48,990 --> 00:11:50,430
grand. I'll give you $500.
224
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,710
All right, we'll take it.
225
00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:55,350
No, no, come on. Look, the nice man is
going to give us $500.
226
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:57,970
What's it, $500 is better than nothing?
What's the matter with you? It's no
227
00:11:57,970 --> 00:12:01,570
good. $400. Okay, we're losing money
now. You see what I'm saying? These
228
00:12:01,990 --> 00:12:02,990
300. 300.
229
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:05,510
Okay, see what's happening? It's
evaporating right as we speak.
230
00:12:05,950 --> 00:12:06,950
200.
231
00:12:07,050 --> 00:12:10,510
200. Okay, well, it's all going away
right before our eyes. Don't worry about
232
00:12:10,510 --> 00:12:11,510
it. It's $100.
233
00:12:12,070 --> 00:12:15,130
$100. Okay, why don't you take that?
It's 50 bucks a piece. Let's just cover
234
00:12:15,130 --> 00:12:16,130
time. Zero.
235
00:12:16,530 --> 00:12:17,449
What did you say?
236
00:12:17,450 --> 00:12:19,770
I will give you zero for this bird.
237
00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:22,270
Zero.
238
00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:23,710
Not 500?
239
00:12:23,850 --> 00:12:24,850
Zero.
240
00:12:26,030 --> 00:12:28,850
400, 300, 2, 1. Those are all gone now?
241
00:12:29,150 --> 00:12:30,089
That's right.
242
00:12:30,090 --> 00:12:31,090
Zero.
243
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,600
Okay. We're just going to come back in.
We'll try this again.
244
00:12:47,340 --> 00:12:50,320
This is where they do Newsnight?
245
00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:51,920
Why is there only one chair?
246
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,880
Lance, your naivete is so endearing.
247
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:55,960
Newsnight is based in Washington.
248
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:57,980
You'll do the show from here by remote.
249
00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,280
Really?
250
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,300
Boy, I'll never get the hang of this new
technology.
251
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,140
Anyway, Lance, let's get this behind
your ear.
252
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:10,880
Vladimir, don't just stand there like
you're waiting online for toilet paper
253
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:11,880
Moscow. Help me.
254
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:17,259
What's this?
255
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:20,800
This is the earphone so you can hear
Judy Kaufman's questions. It's also how
256
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,760
I'll be able to communicate to you from
the booth. Oh.
257
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:27,960
Now, you're on in exactly one minute.
One minute? Oh, no, I can't do this.
258
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,000
Where's Jamie?
259
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,680
Not to worry, Lance. Everything's under
control.
260
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:50,100
Hello. I'm Judy Kaufman in Washington,
and welcome to News Night.
261
00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:55,660
My guest this evening is New York
mayoral candidate Lance Brockwell. Good
262
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:56,660
evening, Lance.
263
00:13:58,160 --> 00:13:59,200
I'm sorry.
264
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:00,960
Say good evening, Judy.
265
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:02,800
Good evening, Judy.
266
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:22,300
If I am elected mayor, I pledge to
lower... My pants. My pants.
267
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,780
Taxes. Mr. Brockwell, have you been
drinking?
268
00:14:28,260 --> 00:14:29,260
Yes. Yes.
269
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:34,080
No, no. You see, Judy, drinking dulls...
The drugs. The drugs.
270
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:35,980
No, the senses.
271
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,640
Can I please take this thing out of my
ear?
272
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:41,400
You will not be able to hear my
questions.
273
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:43,200
Hey! Jamie!
274
00:14:43,940 --> 00:14:46,000
Jamesy! Jamie? It's Judy.
275
00:14:46,660 --> 00:14:47,660
Yippee!
276
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,470
Lance, don't acknowledge me on the air.
277
00:14:51,910 --> 00:14:53,730
Security's on their way. I don't care.
278
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,390
Mr. Brockwell, do you need a minute?
279
00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:04,950
No, Lance, you can do it. Just use your
own words and be yourself.
280
00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:13,630
What I was going to say is that my first
act as mayor would be to restructure
281
00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:14,910
the tax system.
282
00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:18,570
thereby creating a surplus that could be
funneled into education.
283
00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:21,830
Bird?
284
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:23,010
Looking for a bird?
285
00:15:23,030 --> 00:15:23,729
Trey Bird?
286
00:15:23,730 --> 00:15:24,729
Would you like a bird?
287
00:15:24,730 --> 00:15:27,370
Hey, here you go. Okay, why is nobody
taking our flyers?
288
00:15:27,630 --> 00:15:29,530
Flyers? Nobody takes flyers anymore.
289
00:15:29,850 --> 00:15:32,530
I do. Hey, how do you think I found out
about that whole Mafia -Vatican
290
00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:33,530
connection?
291
00:15:33,830 --> 00:15:38,170
Just let the poor cocker too go, all
right? He doesn't want to go. I asked.
292
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:39,170
ask again.
293
00:15:39,470 --> 00:15:42,130
Here. Hey, little birds. Want to fly?
294
00:15:42,370 --> 00:15:43,430
Here. Fly.
295
00:15:44,979 --> 00:15:45,979
Go. Fly.
296
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:47,980
Fly away. Be free.
297
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:49,360
Fly like a bird.
298
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:50,600
Be a bird.
299
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,160
Free. Fly.
300
00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:53,700
No.
301
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,680
So keep them. I don't want them.
302
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:59,560
All right, fine. Give them away, then.
Give them away to who?
303
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:01,240
Excuse me, excuse me.
304
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,600
Could we interest you in a cockatoo?
305
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,680
I guess you misunderstood.
306
00:16:14,990 --> 00:16:17,530
Lance, you did great. Oh, thanks.
307
00:16:18,490 --> 00:16:20,050
I did, didn't I? That's great.
308
00:16:21,770 --> 00:16:24,170
You know, I really feel like I'm on an
upswing here.
309
00:16:24,410 --> 00:16:26,010
Gracie Mansion, here I come.
310
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:32,810
Boy, I'm really feeling good about
myself. You know what I just realized,
311
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:33,970
What?
312
00:16:34,690 --> 00:16:35,690
I'm the man.
313
00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:41,830
Lance, that's great, because there's
something I've been wanting to tell you.
314
00:16:41,950 --> 00:16:42,909
What's that?
315
00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:44,610
I'm sure you know what I'm about to say.
316
00:16:44,990 --> 00:16:45,990
No.
317
00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:50,070
Well, I imagine you've known this day
has been coming for a long time.
318
00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:51,350
I have?
319
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:55,730
Well, Lance, as I'm sure you've
surmised, I'm quitting the campaign.
320
00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:57,470
What do you mean?
321
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,710
Well, I'm pregnant, so... What?
322
00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:04,829
Well, I'm having a baby.
323
00:17:05,230 --> 00:17:07,270
Well, this is a hell of a time.
324
00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:13,079
I did tell you. I can't remember every
detail. I'm trying to keep my head above
325
00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:15,900
water here. Oh, my God, this is
terrible.
326
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:17,319
Lance, please.
327
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:18,560
You, please.
328
00:17:19,579 --> 00:17:24,700
You're not making this very easy on me.
Easy on you? You're ruining my life
329
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:27,160
here. Please don't go, don't go, don't
have a baby.
330
00:17:27,619 --> 00:17:31,680
What? You're killing me here, Jane.
You're ripping my guts out here.
331
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:32,900
It's going to be fine.
332
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,360
Really, it's going to be fine.
333
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,780
Listen, I've got to go.
334
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:43,400
Lance,
335
00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:49,340
listen, listen.
336
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:54,900
I've really enjoyed working together,
and my hope is that we can do it again.
337
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:02,880
Well, bye.
338
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,160
So what was Beretta really like?
339
00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:16,880
I heard he was pretty intense.
340
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,020
Not even a chuckle from you?
341
00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:22,380
Huh?
342
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,080
What are you reading now, Othello?
343
00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:26,460
Yeah, not really.
344
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:27,640
Want to watch Newsnight?
345
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:28,960
Oh, God, no.
346
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,580
Okay, want to watch Popeye?
347
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,920
Okay. Good.
348
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,680
This is good. I love that you're here.
This is so good.
349
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:43,020
We can watch TV, we can hang out, we can
watch shows that have absolutely no
350
00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:44,020
redeeming value.
351
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:45,700
I'm so glad you quit.
352
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:47,800
What are you doing?
353
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:52,220
What? Do you really think I want to sit
here and watch Popeye?
354
00:18:53,780 --> 00:18:55,260
Or Green Acres is on, too.
355
00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:58,260
You like that?
356
00:18:58,560 --> 00:18:59,560
What have I done?
357
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:01,480
What do you mean, what have you done?
You quit.
358
00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:04,000
You said you were going to quit, you
promised you were going to quit, and
359
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,000
you quit.
360
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,820
I like my job.
361
00:19:07,420 --> 00:19:08,780
I love my job.
362
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,380
How do I know I'm going to like this?
363
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,080
What? How do I know I'm going to like
doing this?
364
00:19:16,820 --> 00:19:18,540
How do you know you're going to like
being a mother?
365
00:19:19,260 --> 00:19:26,020
Well, it's a little late now.
366
00:19:26,340 --> 00:19:28,880
I mean, you know, we can get our deposit
back.
367
00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:32,120
Believe me, I know.
368
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,620
You know, it's like when we were getting
married. You were very happy being
369
00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:37,620
single, right?
370
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:41,760
Yeah. But you traded that in, you got
married, and that was a big risk, wasn't
371
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,340
it? Yeah, it certainly was.
372
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,060
So, let me ask you, how did that work
out so far?
373
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,440
So far, not terrible.
374
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:51,700
So?
375
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:53,360
So. So.
376
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,200
So.
377
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,480
So. So shut up. All right.
378
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,800
You know, sometimes I'm very clever.
379
00:20:09,980 --> 00:20:11,240
You're a very lucky woman.
380
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:12,840
You're a very lucky bird.
381
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,860
You found my cockatoo.
382
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,240
That's your bird? Oh, Van Gogh, you're
alive.
383
00:20:22,060 --> 00:20:25,300
He flew out the window while I was
airing the living room.
384
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:29,700
His name is Van Gogh? I never thought I
would say this, but I am enormously
385
00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:31,200
grateful. Here.
386
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,500
Oh, isn't that nice? Look, honey, five
dollars.
387
00:20:38,410 --> 00:20:40,510
I must say, I'm very appreciative.
388
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:42,230
You know he talks.
389
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:44,830
Really? Yes. He has pretty eyes.
390
00:20:45,070 --> 00:20:46,890
Really? Yes, I taught him myself.
391
00:20:47,370 --> 00:20:48,370
Watch this.
392
00:20:48,490 --> 00:20:49,490
Then go.
393
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,470
What's Mummy's best feature?
394
00:20:51,810 --> 00:20:52,810
Nice ass.
395
00:20:58,990 --> 00:20:59,990
So,
396
00:21:03,290 --> 00:21:04,310
so where are you from?
397
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,540
I'm from Trenton originally.
398
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:10,720
Moved out here in the early 70s. Some
old lady owned me for a couple years,
399
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:12,360
she passed on.
400
00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:16,720
So then I got sold to some store on 8th
Street. That's where this British lady
401
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:17,519
got me.
402
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,280
I got a brother down in Baltimore.
403
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:20,720
I never see him.
404
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,160
That must be tough because you can't
write him or anything.
405
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:25,560
I know.
406
00:21:26,020 --> 00:21:27,020
Hey, you want something to eat?
407
00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:28,460
I could eat something.
408
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,000
Is that a yes or a no?
409
00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:31,840
If you're making, I'll have.
410
00:21:35,050 --> 00:21:37,850
I'm not making, but I'll make something
for you. I don't want to be a bother.
411
00:21:37,990 --> 00:21:38,990
Well, it's too late for that.
31235
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