All language subtitles for ironside_s02e03_split_second_to_an_epitaph_2

Chief. I hope you're not trying to walk.

Of course not.

All right. Let's get these braces off
and get me into the shower.

Chief, you all right?

Dreaming, I guess.

What's the matter?

I don't know. I'll be all right.

I guess I spilled last night.

Doc Sterling said you'd have some pain
for a while, but he didn't say it would

be like this.

You're in a cool twin.

What are you doing?

Calling Doc Stern, that's what I'm
doing.

It'll pass.

He ought to have a look at you.

Get me Doc Stern at his house. Tell him
we'll meet him at his office.

Yes, I know what time it is.

What are you doing?

Chief?

You're not supposed to have any feeling
in your legs.

All right, there is a chance.

Could be sympathy pain, could be memory
pain. Most likely one or the other.

But it is also barely possible that a
spontaneous fusion and regeneration has

begun.

If we take an operation, rather
difficult.

With considerable post -operative pain
to find out. You're talking about

sightseeing inside my spine.

Well, that's a pretty fair description
of what it might turn out to be.

There's another possibility.

I could come out worse than I went in.

What's worse than a wheelchair?

A Bach.

You're scheduled for tomorrow.

Oh, now look. And you and I and the
daisies are all fresh.

Why so fast? I mean, I'm in the middle
of a case.

Now I've seen everything.

Scared? You know me better.

I know my patients. Happens all the
time.

They come into the office and I explain
the possibilities and they say, oh,

sure, sure, and make little jokes about
me using a clean knife and staying

sober. Then I get them in here and I
tell them tomorrow.

Oh, no, no, no, it can't be tomorrow.
Cousin Thornton is coming in from San

Leandro tomorrow and Wednesday is sister
-in -law's anniversary. The next day is

big dance at the armory. No, not
tomorrow, never tomorrow.

But I must say, in the middle of a big
case, a new one on me. It's my spine.

So, you tell me when.

You're right, Ben.

You can do anything you like.

Anything except walk.

When, Bob?

Tomorrow.

See you first thing in the morning.

TV station KRAL. This is Les Crane
speaking to you from St. Mary's

We're here today to interview San
Francisco's most famous policeman,

chief of detectives Robert T. Ironside,
now serving the city as special

consultant to the police.

As you all know, a little over a year
ago at this time, Chief Ironside was

by a sniper and paralyzed from the waist
down.

Not to be overcome by a small obstacle
like paraplegia, Chief Ironside solved

his own case.

And put his attempted killer behind
bars.

He's here at St. Mary's today to undergo
an exploratory operation to determine

whether or not he'll be able to walk
again.

Well, how do you feel, Chief?

Lass, they ought to take away your
microphone for asking an old chestnut

that. Well, I see you haven't changed
much lately.

If you do get on your feet again,
what'll be the first thing you do?

Probably sit down.

Chief, we've been hearing a lot of
rumors.

Just how risky is this operation?

I'll let my doctor quote the morning
line on that one.

As a policeman, I've known the people of
San Francisco for over 20 years. I've

arrested some, called some bad names,
and been called some bad names back.

Main thing is, I would like to thank all
of the people of San Francisco for

taking the time to write and wish me
luck.

I not only got sacks of mail, I got a
few telegrams.

Here's one.

Wishing you nearly every success.

Big Len and the boys in C -Block,
Folsom, California.

A lot of these letters are from people
who say they wish there was something

they could do to help me.

Well, there is.

In fact, it's the reason for this
interview.

This man, we want him.

When I come out of the recovery room
tomorrow, nothing could please me more

to learn that while I was out, Somebody
in San Francisco not only saw him, but

had the good sense not to try to grab
him and called a policeman who did the

dangerous job he's paid to do.

Well, that's all, and thank you very
much.

Thank you, Chief.

All right, that'll do it.

Listen, we'll get it to the lab and have
it on the 11 o 'clock show tonight.

Unless I want this sketch to have plenty
of air time.

That was our deal.

Now, before anyone leaves, I would like
to say how sorry I am if I've caused any

disruption in the hospital routine.

But all of this has a purpose.

To find the man who held up your
pharmacy and killed that guard.

Now, he'll make a mistake, I promise
you.

And when he does, he'll be caught.

Now, here's how you can help.

Just as infection causes changes in the
performance of the body, so crime, even

attempted crime, causes changes in the
operation of institutions.

Now, I want to know all about such
changes, no matter how insignificant

seem. Any unusual event, any deviation
from routine, anything that usually

happens one way and now happens another,
please tell me or one of my assistants.

Thank you for your patience.

That concludes this morning's
entertainment.

Yes, lady?

Well, what you said about it never
happened before.

Maybe it doesn't mean anything.

Probably doesn't mean anything.

Probably I'm going to pop a cork unless
you two start making sense.

Now, who are you?

Tina Kendall.

I'm Nina. I'm Tina. We're twins.

You supplied the first piece of coherent
information.

You better tell the rest.

It's just a skinny pig. You see, we do
operations.

Oh, now, skinny pig. And hamsters. All
the student nurses do.

It's the teacher's anesthesia and OR
procedures.

Well, this morning, it was a guinea pig,
and it died.

The operation was a failure.

There wasn't any operation.

We started the anesthetic, and Bing, the
poison, was dead.

Miss Prefogle, she's the OR instructor,
said nothing like this ever happened

before. She said we goofed. Impossible.

But it was unusual.

I mean, it never happened before.

That's why we told you.

Did we do right?

Yes.

Yes, you did right. Check into it, will
you, Eve?

Thank you, ladies.

All of you.

Dr. Crossman, telephone, please.

Well, nice of you to stop in, Chief.

How are you feeling?

I've been hurt worse than this in some
of the fights I've won.

Well, rest up. I intend to.

By the way, when's your big game?

Tomorrow morning.

Do me a favor.

Sure. Don't give Doc Stern too much
help. Just let him run the operation his

way.

Okay.

By the way, who's your insurance made
out to?

Me.

Nothing wrong with this patient, Eve.
Let's get back to work.

Oxygen tank's empty.

Anyway, cyanide gas isn't inflammable.

I'll be unscared. What if it doesn't
work?

Sandy, you touched it yourself.

Yes, but honey, that was different. It
was a guinea pig.

Sure, it's different.

Guinea pig's only one -half percent mad.

So, use one -half percent as much gas.

Come on.

Let's not talk about it.

I'll make sure it's a reserve tank.

That way they'll use it in the middle of
the operation. When the iron side will

be completely out, they won't be able to
smell anything.

Before the anesthesiologist has a chance
to know what's going on, it'll be over.

It'll be his death again, Dick.

Fifteen for two and three is five.

Well, hello, Eve.

Dinner time.

Am I allowed food tonight? I checked
with Dr. Stern on what you could have.

Thanks a lot.

He also said one drink would be all
right.

He was wrong.

It would be essential.

What's happening?

Nothing new on the hospital employees.

Yesterday's visitors were clean as far
as we've been able to tell.

And nothing's happened today.

A washout. What about the dead guinea
pig?

Well, I talked to that Miss Profogal.
She said that it just died.

One of those things.

These are student nurses, and maybe they
weren't as careful.

They doing autopsy? No, there didn't
seem to be any reason to.

Well, there's a reason now.

Well, we can't now.

The corpus delecti went out with the
morning trash.

Why are you so interested in a dead
guinea pig? Because it's dead.

Where's Ed?

Running down sightings.

Couldn't you have spotted a more
distinctive looking murderer?

I did my best.

You always do.

I should put that on your epith.

That's not a bad epitaph.

Robert D.

Ironside, he did his best. Oh, shut up.
Is this one of the times when I pretend

we're out of eyes?

It is.

I swore I wouldn't do this.

It's just that I... I'm worried.

If it makes you feel any better, me too.

I want to see you walk again, Chief.

Me too.

If anything happens... Miss Whitfield,
you're a police officer. Now start

like one.

I am a woman.

And somebody I...

All right, somebody I love is... I can
cry if I want to. I'm off duty.

You can go home in a week, if you like.
But what?

It means that there's no reason that you
can't live a full and productive life.

It means that when you leave here, you
can do anything you like. Anything

except... Hey.

Time for the news.

Thank you, sister.

Well, I see you haven't changed much
lately.

If you do get on your feet again,
what'll be the first thing you do?

Probably sit down.

Chief, we've been hearing a lot of
rumors.

Just how risky is this operation?

I'll let my doctor quote the morning
line on that one.

You know, they're always saying, why
don't we do more of that?

You know why it doesn't work?

Because... You don't get a rating.

But if you tie it to a story about a
cantankerous, crusty, obstreperous

old cop who's having an operation...
That's exposure.

A lot of these letters are from people
who say they wish there was something

they could do to help me. Well, there
is.

In fact, it's the reason for this
interview.

This man...

No, I don't know who he is or where he
is.

But he can't move around anymore without
being recognized.

He is trapped.

That's all, and thank you very much.

Thank you, Chief.

Anything?

Not yet.

I heard somewhere that some patients
were entitled to wine with their meals.

I thought after the delivery, a glass or
two might be good for Carol.

Don't you?

Well, I'll see what I can do.

Thanks.

Oh, Ernie.

Hello, Father.

Have you eaten yet?

Yeah, Carol couldn't eat, so the kitchen
gave me her dinner.

Ernie, you should have taken her to a
doctor during the pregnancy.

Nah, she'll be all right.

She's a good girl, and she does just
what I tell her. And I said, baby, you

in there and drop that kid.

And that's just what she's going to do.

Ernie, I want to talk about you and
Carol. Oh, now, wait a minute. Please,

Father. Let's not go through that
marriage bit again. We've been through

already. Are you sure?

I'm sure.

Don't you love her?

Yes, I love her.

Well, then.

are you so interested in the dead guinea
pig?

Because he's dead.

Because he's dead.

Because

he's dead.

I don't get this. Why are you so
interested in the dead guinea pig?

Answer, because he's dead.

Tell me you never said that.

It was intended as a joke, sir.

Was it intended that I should laugh?

It's a very bad joke.

And the wrong end.

Sorry, sir.

Never apologize. I told you that.

No excuse.

That's enough.

No excuse, sir. Don't be an echo,
Sergeant.

The answer.

Why is the guinea pig important?

What is distinctive about a guinea pig?

Well, speak up. It's not going to help
if I tell you the answer.

Think. Think.

I'm thinking. Why is the guinea pig
important?

Why does a chicken cross the road? Why
do firemen wear red, white, and blue

suspenders? How did you ever get on the
force?

The bank examiners are coming.

The bank examiners are coming.

Bank examiners are coming.

The bank examiners are coming.

The bank examiners are coming.

Bank examiners are coming.

You all right, Chief?

My examiners are coming.

Chief, you all right?

Yeah.

That's right.

Miss Dillon's entitled to six dozen
diapers the first month and four dozen

month after that.

Now, frankly, I think that should
include laundry service.

But I'm not the sort of guy who
complains about aid to unwed mothers.

Right. Thanks.

Dead? I gotta see Ironside.

Let me go!

Now you listen. Let me go.

Listen to me.

She's dead. Let me go.

Chief Ironside's wife made a bet on his
getting a good night's sleep.

You're not going in.

If I let you go, you're gonna talk
quietly. You understand that?

You understand?

Now who's dead?

And it's going to be you if you holler.

Carol's dead.

Your girl.

It was just to have a baby.

People don't die from that. It's a
natural thing.

So he's dying.

You ever think of that?

Not Carol.

What'd she ever do to anybody except
love people?

What happened?

She died.

That's what happened.

Something got tangled.

Cord.

They waited as long as they couldn't.

Then they operated.

You tell me why.

I don't know, Ernie.

I want to see Ironside.

He doesn't know either.

You want to know what he'd say?

He'd say, what next, Ernie? What do you
do now?

She's dead.

But you're alive.

I would have made it for her someday.

She's run out of some days. You've got
to make it for yourself now.

Oh, walk away.

I mean, you've walked away from
everything else. Your folks.

Colleges, I remembered. A couple of jobs
you never could hold a job. I have a

son now.

You don't walk away from your son.

Take care of yourself.

Open for two.

Now, don't you rush me.

Aren't you feeling tired?

How many?

I'll take three.

Three.

Three. And two for the... Mila.

You will need help.

I... No,

thank you.

30 days.

I can't even beat you when you're tired.

Oh, Mr. Clark.

They told me I'd have to see you,
sister.

What about?

My son.

They won't let me have him.

The law says that... The law?

He's my own flesh and blood.

If that were a matter of public record,
there would be no problem. Well, I'm

making it a matter of public record. I
am the father.

Ernie, you're too late. What do you
mean, too late?

I want my kid.

I want my kid!

Nobody's deliberately trying to make
problems for you. Nobody's trying to

you. But you didn't declare paternity
when you brought Carol here. Well, I'm

declaring it now.

There's no corroboration of that fact.

No corroboration?

Of course there is.

Ask her.

She'll tell you. There's never been
anyone else. You ask Carol.

Good man.

I couldn't sleep.

How about you?

I slept.

I had a crazy dream about the bank
examiner's coming.

That sounds like the Carlton case, the
embezzlement. Remember?

Yeah.

Manual of Police Procedure 1961.

Now, why read a book you wrote?

Sierra Grail.

Harry Steinberg.

From up in Planet of Air. Oh, yeah.

He gave it to me.

He was always after me to go to this
great little fishing lake he knew about.

It was right near that place we got the
great trout.

It was called Little Big Pond.

You have to hike up to it.

I always told him, next year.

Well, I thought I'd breed up on it and
guess I got a chance to go.

Well, listen, maybe I'll go with you,
okay?

You think you can walk without making a
lot of noise?

Well, I never had any complaints in the
Marines.

Just one more, Robert.

When this is over, I'll owe you so many
lollipops.

What's this one? This is pre -op.

Guaranteed to have you grog and thinking
lovely woozy thoughts when the big

moment comes.

Is that a standard dose?

No, we're going to name the dose after
you. From now on, when we give pre -ops,

it'll be half an ounce, three quarters
of an ounce.

You should be honored.

Dr. Muncie to practice, please.

Listen, we're not going to stick around
while you're in there. We've got work to

do. Tell me about the Carlton cases.

There's something about it that... We're
going through the inventory sheets for

the whole hospital.

The whole hospital got inventory?

The day after the holdup. They do it on
the same day every month.

That's interesting.

Something that...

Can't even think straight. Who could
with what you've got in you?

What is this? Everybody get up early
today?

Such a beautiful day. You thought you'd
walk.

Yes, sir.

There's an answer in me, somewhere I
can't... It's a drug, Chief.

And what is it going to pick? Tell me.

It's a rodent.

I've got a card and a chalk line in my
desk drawer.

I'll get them.

I guess it's a Charleston bed, didn't
it?

Did what, Chief?

It's in somewhere. He's a cashier and...

And he was in on a hold -up.

Now, will you please stop talking?

Oh, God.

It'll be all right.

The drug's taking hold.

I hear you, you know.

Dad?

Yes, Chief.

Maybe we should bring in Pierce.

He knows about it.

Chief Peterson's dead.

You've got Harry Steinberg.

Who's he?

Going fishing.

Inventory.

That's important.

We'll take care of it, Chief.

Chop flies in the drawer.

Inventory.

Fish mean.

Harry Peterson.

As far as we can go, Chief.

Ed. See you later.

Something's wrong.

What's wrong?

Something's wrong.

Chief, what's wrong?

Wrong.

Bank examiners are coming.

They're coming.

God bless you.

Coffee break, Joanne. Thank you, Miss
Prescott.

Yeah?

He's in surgery now.

Great.

All right, Robert.

Bank examiners are coming.

The bank examiners are coming.

What does that mean?

I wish I knew. I don't think he knew
either.

It was the drug.

Maybe he was trying to tell us
something. Funny, I had the same

what?

You want a tie?

One more.

If you don't understand what he said...
Then we'll find out.

He told us, if you don't know, ask.

And if you have no one to ask, ask each
other.

All right. Same as that.

All right.

Now, exactly what did he do? He hid it
somewhere.

What? Something at, on, or near the
oxygen tank. But what?

Where is it? Probably still in the hole.
Do you think?

He said, look, maybe we should.

You want a tie?

Yeah, please.

Hey, here.

Cigarette butt. With lipstick on it.

What's that got to do with watch out for
the bank examiners? No, he said the

bank examiners are coming. That's from
the Carlson case.

Carlson was a cashier.

He was shorting his accounts.

And the examiner was coming.

A holdup to cover a shorted.

There was going to be an inventory in
the pharmacy.

Yeah, but how do you tie that to a
cigarette in an oxygen tank?

I'm ready to change over. Fifteen
seconds.

Nobody in a hospital smokes near oxygen.

Then it wasn't oxygen.

Then somebody knew it wasn't.

The guinea pig. The pharmacist.

You can't come in here.

That's not oxygen.

Hey, what are you doing?

Almond. Cyanide.

Shut that thing off.

How much reserve in that tank?

Two minutes, tops.

Fresh tank, eh?

Well, there's time to test it.

You fellas clear out.

No. Oh.

You're entitled to a lawyer.

And you're not required to say anything
until you have one.

Anything you like?

Anything except water.

You're sure?

If there were any more tests, I'd have
run them before. I'd be running them

I'm sorry, Pop.

Forget it.

Father Dugan says you win a few and you
lose a few.

Sometimes I think you're lucky to break
evening.

You have a few visitors, eh?

Thought under the circumstances, you
might not... Send him in.

Certainly.

Now, Ben.

Thank you very much.

That was my line. What's the word?

The word is, we go on as before.

Now, what's the latest on Albie?

I guess you didn't hear me.

We go on as before.

Now, what about Albie?

We picked him up.

In a bus station about an hour ago.

Oh, some woman recognized him on the
television show and she called the

He's waiting for you downtown.

Good work.

Now, how did you figure out about the
guinea pig?

You mean what is a guinea pig? A guinea
pig... Is an animal used in an

experiment.

Which is exactly what they did.

Now, since you've all done so well,
perhaps you can tell me something I

figured out.

Anytime.

The narcotic shortage that triggered the
holdup and started the whole thing.

Was the boyfriend a user or a seller?
Little of both, as far as we can tell.

thought we'd leave something for you to
solve.

And I will if I get a chance to get
dressed.

Now, why don't you people go and sign me
out or do whatever it is you have to do

to get me out of here? Mark!

I'm packing.

Dr. Crossan, telephone, please.

Dr. Carson, telephone, please.

Hey, there.

How'd you do?

Beautiful. You'll be walking in six
weeks.

Well, he can walk downtown and buy us
all a drink.

As for you, Ann, I advise you to run
right out and buy a whole bunch of

tickets.

Thanks, Gene.

Don't forget that drink.

Yes, Father.

Well, Ernie. Chief, guess what?

According to the child welfare law,
Article 4, Slant 5, if I claim

they can't put my son up for adoption
until the claim is disposed of, or for

months, whichever shall first occur.
That alludes to the little in

What does it mean?

It means I get six months to get a job
and qualify to adopt him myself.

I told him if he made good, he could
look to you for help.

I'll be calling on you.

If you don't.

I'll be calling on you.

Chief.

The staff has voted you the worst
patient we ever had.

And we hope he'll come back and visit
us.

Anytime I'm feeling up to it. This is no
place for a sick man.

Well, come on. It's a working day, isn't
it?

You heard him.

This is a working day, isn't it?