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1
00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:06,240
(man)
And, yea, verily
doth it be decreed
2
00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:11,245
in Book Three, Chapter Four
that the Catalyst did arise
3
00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:14,182
with newfound clarity
in his visions
4
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:18,452
and so journeyed far away
to an inhospitable land
5
00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:20,488
to rally for the right...
6
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:26,460
**
7
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,129
(groaning)
8
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,430
(laughing)
9
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,834
(Alice)
I was wrong about you...
10
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,536
I'll see you in court!
11
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,238
Your lunch with Simon Cowell
is going to be fish and chips.
12
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,209
Oi!
Answer ya telephone!
13
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,244
Hey-- Could somebody
answer the phone...
(phone ringing)
14
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,213
Suspected release
of Megathrax.
15
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,647
Do I have to do
everything myself?
(phone ringing)
16
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,150
I have to do
everything myself!
17
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,584
(booming)
18
00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:54,422
("Life is Sweet" ringtone plays)
19
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:03,131
(straining)
20
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:04,698
Hello?
21
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,300
(Dave)
Good afternoon,
Todd Margaret.
22
00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:08,136
This is Todd Margaret.
23
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,737
Who is this?
24
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,405
It... it's me, mate.
25
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:13,141
Oh, Dave,
Dave...
26
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,508
There you go!
27
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:15,676
Are you all right,
Todd?
28
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,611
Yeah, why,
what time is it?
29
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:19,780
Uh... It's 10:45.
30
00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:21,649
I texted you yesterday
31
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,284
regarding a meeting
with Sainsbury's...
32
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:24,785
Oh, yeah.
Okay, okay, yeah.
33
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,820
I'll be in the office
in a minute.
Ta-ta!
34
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,289
(Pam, with cockney accent)
What you on about?
35
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:29,590
What have I told you
about nicking
36
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,426
other people's
cheese strings?
37
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:36,330
Disaronno, Sambuca,
leave Malibu alone!
38
00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:39,300
So, what do you think
of me bathroom?
39
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,568
It's amazing.
40
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,237
It's dark,
claustrophobic.
41
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:48,342
This perfectly illustrates
the lunacy of modern day London.
42
00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:53,814
I'm going to have to
reevaluate... everything!
43
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,583
May I see it again?
44
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:56,884
Yeah, all right, but
'avin' another look's
45
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,487
gonna cost you
a grand, though.
46
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,621
The dream.
47
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,623
**
48
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,626
The idea of putting on this
whole chav persona is brilliant!
49
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:08,529
And it's so authentic
and grounded.
50
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:11,765
And renting three shitty kids
really gives you credibility.
51
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:14,268
(losing the accent)
I just can't believe it took
me so long to figure out.
52
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,239
So, what, what
do I got here?
53
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:21,609
So, Pam, neighbor, North Korea,
oh, I got beat up in Leeds
54
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,311
and sent
to the hospital.
55
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:27,215
Leeds-- bad... I blew
up the world, a trial,
56
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:28,882
don't make fun of
dastar hats.
57
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:34,188
Megathrax.
Dave, Dave... Dave?
58
00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,389
Dave.
59
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:38,192
Alice dies,
but Alice is sweet.
60
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:39,760
She's good.
61
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:40,661
Okay...
62
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,467
(Alice)
If we want
this to work.
63
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,203
We have to start by
separating the whites.
64
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,471
(Todd)
Hi...
65
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,905
What do you want?
66
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,541
I'm super busy.
67
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:57,778
Aw, wow, thanks.
68
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,914
Are they cold fusion
nuclide titanium creams?
69
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:03,751
Uh, they got
nuts in them.
70
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,490
(mooing)
71
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,958
Oh, God!
72
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:14,962
Oh, Rachel, that is never
gonna make 2,000 sliders.
73
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:18,332
Uh, okay, lem-lemme
just say my piece.
74
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:20,434
As you can see,
I'm kind of busy so...
75
00:03:20,468 --> 00:03:22,270
Remember I told you I
had that dream, right?
76
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,905
In the dream you're-you're...
you're good.
77
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,275
You're a good,
decent person.
78
00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:28,676
Yeah, well,
in my reality,
79
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,445
you've been a lying little
asshole.
80
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,781
So...
All right, I know, I know.
81
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,883
And, look, I-I never
put stock in dreams,
82
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,918
you know, but this
one is different.
83
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:42,290
Okay, it-it's-it's
vivid, it's real,
84
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,725
it's becoming real,
and in it, you help me.
85
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,427
(mooing, shattering)
86
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,895
I've blown them
back up too big.
87
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:51,299
How?
Oh, Jesus, look, Todd...
88
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,867
Okay, I just wanted
to say, I'm sorry
89
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,804
and I now know that you're-
you're a voice of reason
90
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:59,873
and you are pure,
and I know that,
91
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:02,443
and so does
Hudson Bear.
92
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:05,879
(Hudson Bear)
Let us head forth toward
the great white north.
(sighing)
93
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,281
(Hudson Bear playing music)
94
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:12,486
All right, well,
uh, yeah, all right.
95
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,556
I do love
Hudson Bear...
96
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:19,527
(crashing and mooing)
Oh, God!
97
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,561
I've taken on
too much!
98
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,563
I've taken...
this is too much!
99
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,633
Alice, can I help
in any way?
100
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:26,500
Sorry, that
came out sexual.
101
00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:28,035
I didn't mean
it to.
102
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,803
Well, no, it's-it's
the garden party.
103
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,939
I mean, we moved it to a
bigger venue and that's good
104
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,975
and the TV news want to cover
it and that's obviously great,
105
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,911
but we are expecting
thousands now...
106
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,581
Alice, at the risk of
sounding opportunistic,
107
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,983
how much money are you
on the hook for?
108
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:44,985
About twenty grand.
109
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,555
That's nothing, Thunder Muscle
will sponsor this.
110
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:49,623
It's perfect.
Thunder Muscle,
the energy drink?
111
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:53,394
Yeah, I'll cut you a check
right now for twenty grand.
112
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,463
Thunder Muscle was responsible
for a massive crater
113
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,731
outside my restaurant.
114
00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,536
A hundred grand.
115
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,105
Thank you, Todd!
116
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,540
Thank you!
Yeah.
117
00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:09,510
We are so grateful, you
are-- you're my savior.
118
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,011
Yeah-- Thanks, well,
you know...
119
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:12,045
Why don't
you come up?
120
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,647
Sure... up?
121
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,416
To the Garden Party--
it's in Leeds.
122
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,351
Leeds?
Yeah.
123
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,086
**
124
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:25,926
Sameer, call this lady and get
a truck full of Thunder Muscle
125
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,461
to the location
she gives you
126
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:29,697
and hire some guys,
hang some banners.
127
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,733
Tess, get the Thunder Girls
to go and pass out
128
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,635
some Thunder Muscle,
Thunder Bucks
129
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,069
to the same
place, all right?
130
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,038
And you're going
as well, right?
131
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,941
No... Apparently, uh, me
and Leeds do not get along.
132
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:44,445
And Tim Dempsey faces
a three-year ban from football
133
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:47,014
having tested positive
for banned substances.
134
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,883
Tim Dempsey has steadfastly
maintained his innocence
135
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,420
and has threatened
to sue whatever
136
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,121
or whomever
is responsible.
137
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,589
Answer your telephone.
138
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:56,757
(reporter)
...comet watch segment,
139
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,092
and all eyes are on
the skies as at long...
140
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:01,995
(phone ringing)
141
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:08,436
(Brent)
This is really important
because you're gonna wanna know
142
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:11,104
your tonality with...
the comet and all...
143
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,139
**
144
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:15,676
Oh, yeah,
with the comet coming...
145
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,077
(inaudible chatter)
146
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:31,792
(shutter clicking)
Before you know it,
you're gonna be on...
147
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:32,860
Good, that's good.
Now you're...
148
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,530
(electronic beeping)
149
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:41,935
(beep)
150
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,073
(beeping)
151
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:49,943
(beep)
152
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,020
Okay, so I've got a
team from Sainsbury's
153
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,622
sat in
the conference room.
154
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,724
And... how'd you make
that happen?
155
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,158
Oh, I spoke to them.
156
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:08,696
You just randomly
called the, uh...
157
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:10,898
heads of one of
England's largest companies
158
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,801
and said, "Hi, my name's Dave.
I'm a temp at Global National.
159
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:16,704
You want to swing by
and meet my boss" or...
160
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,606
Not exactly, my father
was going to Sainsbury's
161
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:19,973
and I tagged along.
162
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,575
Uh-huh.
163
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,143
Also, I don't have an
event in Leeds listed,
164
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,178
but you can fill me in on
everything on the way up.
165
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:28,682
Oh, I'm not gonna... you
think I should go to Leeds?
166
00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:29,950
Of course.
167
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,485
It's a massive pitch,
168
00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:32,520
you want to be
in the middle of it.
169
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:33,987
I'll drive you up--
in fact,
170
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,188
I insist on it.
171
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,591
You insist on
it, okay...
172
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,527
Also, I sent another fruit
basket to Jeremy Stephenson
173
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,695
apologizing for missing
the meeting yesterday.
174
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:42,696
You spoke to
Jeremy Stephenson?
175
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:43,997
Yes.
This morning?
176
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,499
You spoke to Jeremy Stephenson
this morning?
177
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:46,634
Yes, sir.
178
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,201
What d'you use?
A Ouija board?
179
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:50,671
(chuckles)
Boss? What--
180
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:54,575
So those people in that room,
they're from Sainsbury's?
181
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,010
Yes, I think I've set
you up quite nicely!
182
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,146
Okay...
183
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,583
Okay, um, you know what,
184
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,918
forget about Leeds
for the moment, uh, uh,
185
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:07,521
I have something that is,
uh, far more pressing.
Okay.
186
00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:09,122
It's more urgent
for Global National.
187
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,925
I need you to go to the lab
where they're running
188
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:15,729
the Tim Dempsey tests
and steal the results
189
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:18,065
and any incriminating
evidence.
190
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:20,568
Oh...
191
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,069
(laughing)
192
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,937
That's a good one!
193
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:25,539
That's...
194
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,677
Boss, that's
highly illegal.
Yes.
195
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,979
If I got caught, I could
get into serious trouble.
196
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,647
Well, you know,
hypothetically.
197
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:34,648
So don't
get caught.
198
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:35,916
But, um...
199
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,619
You're all about
helping me, right?
200
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,754
You know, the world's
"best boss"...
201
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:42,590
Yes!
202
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:43,991
Yes, yes.
203
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,092
All right, boss.
204
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,898
What-- now?
Yes.
205
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,733
Run along,
and I'll meet with the...
206
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:56,036
good folks...
from "Sainsbury's."
207
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,771
Oh, that is
definitely their name.
208
00:08:57,805 --> 00:08:59,272
Mmm...
209
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:03,210
Okay, okay, okay...
210
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,613
(On phone)
Trevor, could you pull
the car round front, please?
211
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,247
**
212
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,986
...and by the end of
fourth quarter '16,
213
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:16,123
with Azerbaijan and
Turkmenistan solidified,
214
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:19,627
we should see
unrivaled growth.
215
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,895
(inhaling sharply)
216
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,130
Okay, I-I'll
tell ya what,
217
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,332
let's, uh, throw away
the scripts, okay,
218
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,233
and just
have some fun.
219
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,168
All right, Jeanette again...
220
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,137
but this time you
just got a letter
221
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,039
from a long lost
family member.
222
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,108
Chris, you're an
artisan cheese maker
223
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:37,144
with a really bad toothache,
224
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,746
and you've taken
a vow of silence
225
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:41,882
because your love for
Jeanette has gone unrequited.
226
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:45,886
Collin, you are a QC with
a bit of a secret...
227
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,855
I don't want to know
what it is exactly,
228
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,623
but just let it trickle out.
229
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:52,660
Okay, let's start again
from "quarterly sales,"
230
00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:55,395
and remember it's improv,
so it doesn't have to be funny.
231
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,165
We think the proposal
speaks for itself.
232
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,267
We can
redefine terms...
233
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,835
(crying)
234
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,036
It's from my long
lost father.
235
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,371
(crying)
236
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:07,040
He passed away
about a fortnight ago.
237
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,809
He was lost
at sea.
238
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:09,910
(sobbing)
239
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,679
Uh-uh-uh, Chris, vow of silence.
240
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,113
Remember, say it
with your eyes.
241
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,248
Stop this!
What are you doing?
242
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:18,752
And... scene, I guess-- sorry,
that seemed a bit short to me...
243
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,120
What are you playing at, Mr.
Margaret?
244
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,155
We're only here as
a personal favor to young...
245
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,157
Dave, right,
I know-- yeah.
246
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,693
He's the guy who
contacted you
247
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,728
when he was grocery
shopping with his daddy,
248
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:28,796
is that right?
249
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:29,930
Okay, why don't
you take
250
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,799
your little
improv troupe and, uh,
251
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:32,866
fuck off back
to Covent Garden.
252
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,401
Make some real
money, huh?
253
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:37,738
Come on! Thank you so much,
that was very entertaining.
254
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,206
Thank you.
Good-bye.
255
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:39,940
You can be assured
Lord Mountford
256
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,208
will hear about
our treatment...
257
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:42,910
Oh, you Googled
Lord Mountford!
258
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,311
Good for you--
you did your research.
259
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,213
Very professional.
260
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,748
Well, tell Dave
I said nice try.
261
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,082
Oh! One
last thing...
262
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:52,820
I'm sorry, could you give
Dave a message for me?
263
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:53,721
(grunts)
264
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,124
What?
265
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,127
Uh, Mr. Margaret,
with all due respect,
266
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,095
I think it's a mistake
to upset Dave.
267
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,163
Is that what
you think?
268
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:04,798
Okay, great,
thanks, noted.
269
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:08,101
Huh, you wanna go deep
sea diving with me...
270
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:13,073
Yeah, hi, I want to, uh, report
a, uh, break-in and a theft.
271
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,408
Right about now,
actually.
272
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,110
Mm-hmm, that's right.
273
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:20,080
Um, in your lab there,
the Tim Dempsey tests, yeah,
274
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:24,852
there's a young man, uh,
roughly 25, dark hair,
275
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:28,188
about six feet tall,
named Dave... uh,
276
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,757
(snapping fingers)
Dave...
277
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:30,791
(whispering)
What's his name?
278
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:31,825
Mountford.
279
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,794
Mountford...
280
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:37,130
Dave Mount, Dave-Dave Mount--
Dave... Dave... Dave.
281
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:40,934
(hyperventilating)
282
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:44,204
That's why...
Son of a... Lord!
283
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,110
(chuckling)
You will never guess what
has just happened to me.
284
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:52,746
You were riding along
and then a huge 18-wheeler
285
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:56,383
filled with Thunder Muscle
and blasting Turkish music
286
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,985
sideswiped you
and ran over your bike
287
00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:02,455
and then you got a ticket
for indecent exposure.
288
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:06,860
Yes... well, that-that
is exactly what happened.
289
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:10,297
(crying)
I can't... That's--
I'm it's coming tr...
290
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,065
It's true...
That was me.
291
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,167
I did that-- I di--
292
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,036
I was--
that was me.
293
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,437
That was me--
I did that.
294
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:20,507
No, no, that guy was bald,
he was Turkish.
295
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,911
He was called Achmed
Al Abdulawallahwallah.
296
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:27,815
And, you've been here
all day, sir.
297
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:32,219
Yeah... yeah-- what?
I know-- okay...
298
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,923
(laughing)
Right, okay,
I know, uh,
299
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:38,058
that was funny...
that was funny.
300
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,559
Wait, wait,
yeah because the guy
301
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,528
I ran over in my dream
was different.
302
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:44,431
You're an anchor man, you're-
you're on TV, you read the news.
303
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:45,899
Oh, God...
(sobbing)
304
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,567
(Peter)
Are-- are you all right?
305
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,903
Yes, I'm fine.
306
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,272
No-- yes,
that's right.
(glasses shattering)
307
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:55,375
Oh, yeah, another thing, he--
he didn't have glasses.
308
00:12:57,077 --> 00:13:00,180
Yeah, I-- there
is a resemblance...
309
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:01,081
(clinking)
310
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,887
(whimpering softly)
I can't...
311
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,488
I can't stop it.
312
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:11,124
It's-- it's
really happening.
313
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:14,027
It is really happening--
I can't stop it.
314
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:17,530
Dave, Dave, Dave,
Dave is Mountford.
315
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:21,134
He's after me.
He's evil, you don't...
316
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:24,371
The... the end of the world
happens and it's my fault.
317
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:27,307
And-and my cat dies
and-and Alice dies
318
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,143
and, well--
it sounds crazy
319
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:33,080
'cause it-- 'cause it--
'cause it is crazy.
320
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:34,581
(shouting)
This is crazy!
321
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:37,350
(screaming)
This sounds crazy 'cause
it is crazy, right?
322
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:38,551
Yeah!
323
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,854
Okay-- ha-ha.
Okay.
324
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:44,591
All right, you know what...
you know what?
325
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,027
I'm gonna go to Leeds--
I'm gonna go to Leeds.
326
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,295
I'm going to Leeds.
327
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,197
I'm gonna
go to Leeds.
328
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,132
I'm gonna go to Leeds--
I'm gonna go Lee-- I'm...
329
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,101
Yup, I'm gonna
go to Leeds.
330
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,302
(chuckling)
331
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,270
**
332
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,109
(Brent)
Todd?
333
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:03,143
Oh, good.
334
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,277
(door closes)
335
00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:16,856
Finally climbed
the ladder, heh.
336
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,562
Wait, they've added
two more rungs?
337
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:24,331
That's fantastic.
338
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:27,334
Now even more truth
for me to learn.
339
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,337
Though where am I gonna
come up £300,000 in 24 hours?
340
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,107
Huh...
341
00:14:34,141 --> 00:14:37,010
**
342
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:45,552
Ahh, not so fast,
my once-elusive quarry!
343
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:46,553
Doug, I don't
have time for this.
344
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:49,022
I have to get to the sperm
bank before it closes.
345
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,323
No-- no more
running away.
346
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:53,093
I am demanding that you
sign this requisition form.
347
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,562
(chuckling)
Oh, Douglas!
348
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:59,499
He that knoweth the end
will clear the Earth of its...
349
00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:04,271
Uhhh, fudge!
350
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:05,172
Huh?
351
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,174
No, I can't, uh...
Ah, I can't think of it.
352
00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:11,478
Clear the Earth of its...
not people, its...
353
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:14,081
but it's like a word
that... means people.
354
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:17,951
It's like, uhhh...
oh, ding dong doodle bugs,
355
00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:20,387
I c-- I cannot think of it--
Sugar sticks!
356
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,589
It brings me no pleasure
to do this, Mr. Wilts,
357
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,992
but you've
been Whitney'd.
358
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:26,426
I'm calling
Mr. Margaret right now.
359
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,695
Okay listen, Doug,
hear me out.
360
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:32,365
Yes, I took the money, but
it was for very good reason.
361
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,467
What money?
For--
362
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:38,038
Well, isn't--
Well, why are you here?
363
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:41,008
I'm here for
the new microwave!
364
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,710
I haven't had a decent
cup of noodles in weeks!
365
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:44,677
Doug!
(shouting)
Weeks!
366
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:46,179
Doug,
listen to me.
367
00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:47,547
What I have to offer you
is far better for you
368
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:51,084
than a cup of
noodles, okay?
369
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:52,485
The other day when I supposed
to meet you at the bar
370
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,187
and I never showed up--
I was there.
371
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,758
Hey there!
372
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,594
I'm American.
Do you speak English?
373
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,463
'Cause I speak French and Greek,
if you know what I'm saying.
374
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:04,664
Get lost, you pig.
375
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:07,034
(scoffs)
376
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,735
That's London for ya.
377
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,038
Nothing but a shitty
British cunt desert.
378
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,373
I'd appreciate you
not using that language.
379
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,142
Sorry.
(clears throat)
380
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,744
Sorry is
the first rung.
381
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:19,112
What are you,
a Jesus guy?
382
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,180
Hardly.
383
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,614
Ohh, like
a Sci-Ti, huh?
384
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,683
Please, Scientology
is a fraud.
385
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,319
It's a bunch of
made-up gobbledygook.
386
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,521
But here's the truth.
387
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,490
There is a prophet
that walks amongst us.
388
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,792
He's the one known
as The Catalyst
389
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:36,063
and through his premonitions,
he shall usher forth a new era.
390
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,731
There is a ladder,
both real and conceptual,
391
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,733
which has eight
operating rungs on it.
392
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:44,337
Each rung represents a case
gain on one's tone arm.
393
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:45,538
When you reach the top
of the ladder,
394
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,440
you become Seg-Four,
395
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,476
and that means
you are clear.
396
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,279
Oh, you must have read
the news reports about the, uh,
397
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,781
Phantasos comet
entering our atmosphere.
398
00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:56,716
Well,
the Reverend Goody,
399
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,119
he's our Grand Imperial
Illuminator,
400
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:02,222
has discovered that
he himself is an EKLAH,
401
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:05,492
an Evolutionary Kingdom
Layer Above Human.
402
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,295
You see, the Angel Moroni
appeared before Goody
403
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,130
and led him to
the secret burial site
404
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,332
of the gold-colored plates,
405
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,302
which only he was
given access to.
406
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,738
These plates contained
the imagery of the wood carving
407
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:22,242
which contain the imagery
of the Catalyst.
408
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:24,844
So we need to
climb the ladder
409
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:28,115
to prepare for the impending
awakening of the Catalyst.
410
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,383
Then he will tell us where
the jumping off point is
411
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,552
so we can get there.
412
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:35,222
And then after the Catalyst
has ignited the fireball,
413
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,324
we land on the comet
which will then take us
414
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:40,527
straight into
heaven's arms!
415
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,495
I'm in.
416
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:44,131
I'm in.
417
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,333
(laughing)
418
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:49,369
(crowd, chanting)
The tea in your cup
is from India, so shut up!
419
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:53,240
The tea in your cup
is from India, so shut up!
420
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:57,377
The tea in your cup is
from India, so shut up!
421
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:01,548
The tea in your cup
is from India, so shut up!
422
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:04,217
The tea in your cup is
from India, so shut up!
423
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:05,652
(woman)
Fascist!
424
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:08,855
The tea in your cup
is from India, so shut up!
425
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:11,124
(brass band playing)
426
00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:14,694
Please give a Garden Party
Cheer to the pure breeds.
427
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,596
(cheering)
428
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,536
I'll take one of those,
thank you.
429
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:27,507
(Rachel)
And, now, please
welcome to the stage,
430
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,143
the author of
the Garden Party Manifesto,
431
00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:33,146
"Death By Chocolate:
A Recipe for Disaster,"
432
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,681
Miss Alice Bell!
433
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:37,484
(cheering and applause)
434
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:47,894
White... is right!
435
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,263
(crowd cheering)
436
00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:54,901
Right is white.
437
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,836
For too long,
438
00:18:56,869 --> 00:19:00,173
this country
has been contaminated
439
00:19:00,207 --> 00:19:03,343
by the poison
of immigration.
440
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:06,713
Immigration
is contamination.
441
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,682
Multiculturalism
is death.
442
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:12,552
Death to multiculturalism.
443
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:16,589
"Death By Chocolate"
is a recipe for disaster.
444
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,425
(cheering)
445
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,530
I'm very
discriminating.
446
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:26,799
England must seal
its borders now.
447
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,536
The thing you're supposed to do
nowadays of course is, you know,
448
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:32,372
serve Chinese
and Thai and Lebanese,
449
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,874
but it's my restaurant,
so, only British!
450
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,410
Our homes will
be overrun...
451
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:39,512
We have to start by
separating the whites.
452
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,848
Could outlaw fried
chicken for starters!
453
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,583
Don't think you can
call them Nazis.
454
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:44,884
I mean, they don't
deserve that.
455
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:48,755
...to take advantage
of our free services.
456
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,990
(cheering loudly)
And don't even get me
started on the Irish!
457
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,526
(crowd chanting)
Sieg Heil, Sieg Heil...
458
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:58,298
Hey!
459
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:02,402
Friends, I would like
to introduce to you
460
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:05,272
the man who made
all of this possible.
461
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:09,642
Let's give a big Garden Party
and Thunder Muscle welcome
462
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:12,245
to Todd Margaret!
463
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,914
He shares our vision.
464
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:17,250
(Todd) No, I do
not share you vision.
He is the President of drinks.
465
00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:20,019
No, that's not true.
Drink Thunder Muscle
to make us strong.
466
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,654
No, thank you.
It is the strongest...
467
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:22,789
I do not share your vision.
...and the whitest.
468
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:24,691
Thunder M--
Okay, thank you.
469
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,727
All right, great.
Uh, okay, all right, um...
470
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,496
(crowd chanting "Sieg Heil")
You know, folks--
Great, I appreciate it.
471
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,264
I think it's important
to say...
472
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:32,399
Where's my camera?
Over here?
473
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,502
Okay, I think it's important
to, um, let everyone know...
474
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:38,838
(crowd dies down)
...that Thunder Muscle
is all inclusive, okay?
475
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:42,875
Everyone is invited to
enjoy this delicious,
476
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,445
energy-providing,
thirst-quenching drink.
477
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,046
Okay, everyone.
478
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,282
(man)
But not the Muslims,
though, right?
479
00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:51,584
No, Muslims can
enjoy it as well, yes.
480
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:54,721
(man) Or Jews?
(man #2) The Jews run the media!
481
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,490
No, no, uh, Rupert Murdoch
runs the media, folks.
482
00:20:57,524 --> 00:20:59,426
(man)
Rupert Murdoch's a Jew?
483
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,494
No, no, that's not
what I'm saying.
484
00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:02,895
Rupert Murdoch
is not a Jew.
485
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:06,733
(crowd chanting)
Rupert Murdoch is
secretly a Jew!
486
00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:12,639
Okay, no, he's not and...
(chanting continues)
487
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:14,841
Why am I defending
Rupert Murdoch?
488
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,443
All right, you know what,
I'm gonna...
489
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:18,411
just take these down
if that's okay.
490
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,813
Don't take the...
491
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,749
(crowd gasping)
492
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,417
Oh, Alice!
493
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:28,888
What've you done,
you idiot?!
494
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:30,823
Alice?
495
00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:32,359
(man)
He's killed
the people's princess.
496
00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:33,593
(man #2)
Get him!
497
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:36,863
(crowd clamoring)
498
00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:38,465
(Rachel)
Someone call an ambulance!
499
00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:41,734
(panting)
500
00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:43,903
Jesus Christ,
they're gonna kill me.
501
00:21:45,938 --> 00:21:47,340
(murmuring)
502
00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:51,043
(man)
He's in there!
503
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,315
(man)
Where'd he go?
504
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:04,023
(man) There's one of 'em.
(woman) Racist scum!
505
00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:05,625
(man #2)
Get him! Fascist!
506
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,960
(Todd groaning)
507
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:11,130
(Todd)
The dream keeps... coming...
true.
508
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,600
Ow!
509
00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:16,769
Whatever you do,
don't take me to the hospital!
510
00:22:16,803 --> 00:22:19,906
(groaning)
511
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:22,742
**
512
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,952
"Life is Sweet"
* If I know what I need
513
00:22:32,985 --> 00:22:35,888
* Without reservation
514
00:22:35,922 --> 00:22:40,092
* Life's just sweet,
a real sensation *
515
00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:45,131
* Can't control myself,
anticipation *
516
00:22:45,164 --> 00:22:49,001
* Things are
gonna get worse **
517
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:51,103
Go back to where you
came from.
518
00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:53,039
We don't want your
kind here.
519
00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:55,107
You drive down
our property values.
37800
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