Original subtitles

Got any butter?

Fucking hillbilly.

Listen...

You sound like a mouse. Speak up.

- Where were you? - At work.

Do I look like a cunt?

Let me finish...

The guys at work made me go out for a drink, to celebrate the wedding...

Well, I'm glad you had fun.

I'm sorry. I couldn't say no.

You left without a word. I don't know where I am.

I didn't want to wake you.

Your head OK?

You could've left me one measly rupee.

I could've bought some food.

What a welcome.

It's late. Not got a job to go to?

Hello, sorry to bother you. Could I borrow a knife?

I have butter now. Want some?

Why would I want butter?

What type of knife?

Is it for chopping off someone's balls or slicing yams?

I can't work this shit out. No dinner.

Uma?

Uma!

- Let's wash your hands. - OK.

That was supposed to last all week.

Wait.

I can't afford this. Learn to count something! Use your head...

How about you learn to cook, motherfucker!

Never met a woman with such a filthy mouth.

I can count, you big buffalo!

I don't know what I'm doing, I've never run a household.

This is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

This is how much you have for the week, OK?

Put your daily spend here. Then add up here.

You're quite smart, huh?

Rice is easy. A monkey could cook this.

Thanks.

What for?

See how the water's clear now?

- Can I skip the soaking bit? - No.

- Why? - No!

- You just can't. - Alright.

Men are dim.

Just throw in enough chili and salt and they'll eat anything.

Oh, also...

Cut the vegetables into nice stupid big chunks.

So they feel like they're eating well.

Nice and spicy!

Want to smoke a cigarette with me? There's a nice breeze tonight.

This is like our first proper night.

I don't think we can really count the others, huh?

- How was your day? - Yeah, it was okay...

I guess, maybe?

This is where you ask me how my day was.

Teach me more stuff? I don't know what to cook now.

There's nothing else. I taught you the basics.

Now just make up the rest.

What about lentils?

Soak... fry stuff...

boil.

Hey, you in?

Wanna do... something?

Oh good, you used a bucket this time.

I'm sorry. I just feel so ill.

You're hung over. You won't die.

How many days have we been married now?

This is some kind of exile.

It's Sunday.

There's not one I've spent without you in this state.

I deserve some fun too, you know.

Don't worry. We're going to my cousin's wedding soon.

I can't work out if you're truly dumb or just selfish.

By next Sunday, you better have a plan, we better be going somewhere.

That's what I already told you.

I didn't know it took 13 hours to get here.

And it cost me so much money.

Not much I can do about that. Your next bus home is in 15 minutes.

Would you like me to explain how long the ride back will take?

- I'm going for a walk. - The bus leaves in 4 minutes.

I'll walk in circles till then.

Can you break these?

Isn't that bad luck? Shouldn't they fall off on their own, or something?

- Says who? - People.

I don't know those people.

Gosh. How did the two village idiots end up together?

Pretty simple. Him: every girl rejected him.

Her: well, she's just insane.

Families lumped 'em together, shipped 'em off.

What on earth are you doing now?

Just sleep.

You dumb?

What's so damn important at this hour?

Gopal.

- What? - Fuck's sake!

I'm tired. I sat through that skull-numbing wedding...

You're very patient.

You spent all my patience.

What did I do this time? What now?

Just now? Or till now?

Want me to list everything, from the beginning?

Know what I think?

Don't think too much, it'll hurt your brain.

Enough!

Why do you always scold me with that sound in your voice, like a teacher?

That sound...

is the sound of frustration, you ignorant boy!

I'm fed up. You forget there's two people here.

What happened to you? You used to be so sensitive...

I was eight!

We met once or twice. We hardly knew each other.

We hardly know each other now.

Stop that and look at me!

- What's so damn important in there? - My sarong.

- You're wearing it! - I want the other one.

What's taking up so much space in here?

Wedding dress. Yeah, should probably bin it.

You can't do that.

Why?

Can somebody explain the purpose of hanging on to a wedding dress?

What a joke!

Where will I wear it? The vegetable market?

Oh, wait. Maybe you wanna fuck me in it?

Will that get you off?

Why can't you just be a person like other people?

Are you okay?

Fine. Probably ate something dodgy at that wedding.

Fuck!

Are you sad?

This is just how god painted my face.

Cleaning is all I got.

You can clean, right?

Oh yes, I'm a domestic goddess.

You live near?

That's a four-hour walk.

I'll take you halfway, so you know the way next time.

What do I get out of this deal?

Romance, adventure and excitement.

Which way do you wanna go?

Up left, past the rubbish pile, or right, past the dust bin?

Bin. We went left already.

Motherfucker!

I want a divorce.

You promised romance, excitement and adventure.

Nothing lasts forever.

We must rekindle the love lost. Take me back.

It's over.

I never wanted you. Leave, bitch!

I'm tainted goods. I'm a dee-vor-cee.

But it's okay.

I'll wear this like a badge and go forth to the hills, form a manless nation

and build a monolithic altar to the pussy.

No, no.

Rebellion must occur from within,

like a viper hidden in a sock drawer.

How's your other marriage?

What's the deal?

I never asked but...

your childhood sweetheart?

Nah, I deluded myself into thinking that.

He was just some boy from the village.

You look thin. Your boobs have shrunk.

Got a funny tummy.

- You seen a doctor? - No, I'm fine. It's starting to pass.

Hey, baby girl!

You're fair as the moon. What whitening cream you using?

I'm fine.

I'm fine!

I'm totally fine.

Just a common stomach bug and a mild fever. Drink flat Coca Cola.

- What? - Flat cola.

For meals, plain white rice, yoghurt and plenty of turmeric.

Shouldn't you be resting?

I can't sit there anymore.

Come on!

Let's go on an adventure.

Go home to your husband.

You're sick.

- You know what his problem... - Stop!

You're making me uncomfortable.

I can't talk about this while he's next door.

He's not back yet.

We're going to our village.

Sanjay got leave from work.

What'll you do when I'm gone?

We all have to endure a little.

Guys can be idiots, but...

that big idiot... is my big idiot.

I thought we said we'd take stupid photos like that.

- Hey, moonchild! - Hi, sweetie!

- Hey, beauty! - Hiya, cutie!

- You're going back up? - Yes.

- You got work up there? - No, it's just something to do.

I'll go home in a bit.

My ass hurts.

I think I'm used to it.

Funny how we get used to things.

Moonchild!

That's friendship:

being able to sit in silence together.

What was that sound?

It's so quiet now you can hear an ant fart.

You okay?

What whitening cream are you using?

Strange weather, no?

Listen... I say this as a friend.

This is a small community.

It's so tragic, we can all see what's going on.

You know, a man has needs that a wife has to fulfil.

Thanks so much.

Go fuck a shovel!

No fluid imbalance in your ears.

I can't see anything wrong.

Been drinking?

What? I'm not drunk, I'm in pain.

OK. Take aspirin for the fever, stay home as much as possible and rest.

Last place I wanna be.

Suit yourself.

How come you get to be all still and calm?

I went for a walk.

You haven't eaten a thing.

I'm not hungry. My stomach's still a bit funny.

I don't think I've seen you eat anything for days.

Want to smoke a cigarette with me?

There's a nice breeze tonight.

- Fuck! - What's wrong?

The clouds swallowed up the stars.

Are you sure you're okay?

I think you should see a doctor.

Is it because of me you're not eating?

Just let me be like I let you be.

Forgive me?

- Good day at work? - The drudge never ends.

You look kinda tanned today.

What?

Something stinks bad in here.

Something rotten.

That's just how this city smells.

C'mon, hurry up.

Everything okay?

Yeah...

Everything's okay!

Okay, good.

- I forgot to tell you... - I have something to tell you.

You go first.

- Do you trust me? - Yes.

But I'm not sure I always understand you.

If you want to leave, it's okay.

I won't make a fight.

You might want me to, after this.

Okay.

What I'm going to say will sound crazy, but I need you to trust me.

I thought I was sick, but I'm not.

I think?

I am this thing, but I don't know what.

But I've got a plan. I figured something out.

Just please...

don't freak out.

Want some time to think?

Expecting someone for tea?

Ramu, this guy from work, who lives around the corner,

he and his wife asked us to the beach with them.

I said yes. I felt pressured. Sorry!

Who's his wife?

Hold on a minute!

This is all too much. I forgot her name.

Get a hold of yourself, man!

Don't worry, I'll handle this.

Motherfucker...

Greetings!

Listen.

Can I walk the dog?

- Hey, shorty! You want a dog? - Yes!

Yes, yes, it's been a gas, but we have to go to temple now, we're very religious.

Oh, and your dog ran away.

I think we should make ourselves scarce till it gets dark.

What do we do till then?

Dunno.

What do normal people do on a Sunday?

We're not normal people.

This is basically a friendship now, right?

Yeah.

Cool.

What's with this? It'd look better with a trim.

People took the piss: "What channels can you pick up with those?"

Your ears are even smaller than mine.

People are dicks.

Come here.

Friends do hug.

Will it hurt?

Will what hurt?

Do you think those turn your tongue blue?

Want one?

I can't 'eat', remember? Just something I saw...

How about I get one just to see if your tongue goes blue?

Go grab a good seat!

- Do these make your tongue go blue? - Dunno. Never tried one.

Did you walk here?

I ran.

Why didn't you take the next train?

I didn't think, I just ran.

Let's get drunk.

We need a secret language.

Let's never hang with those dickheads again.

I don't really.

He's just some guy from work.

Who're you always boozing with?

On my own.

- Kiss me. - Kiss you?

I think I smell.

No.

- Do I smell? - You stink.

But I kinda like it.

Strip.

- What? - Show me your bones.

Alright.

Fuck! What is it?

That hurt.

No shit. Now be still.

She's hasn't been showing up for work, I'm a little worried.

Yeah, strange.

Her husband hasn't either, my husband works with him.

Maybe they both died.

Fuckers!

Move it!

Witch!

Don't look at him.

Don't look at him.

Don't!

You have no idea...

how thirsty I am.

But bitch, even you...

don't deserve this curse.

Sheetal?

Sheetal.

I just wanted to say goodbye.

Where are you going?

Somewhere far away.

Where the sun sets early and there's lots of trees and animals.

Oh. How poetic.

Is what they say about you true?

I think they're full of shit.

I know you.

Sheetal, I need a favour. I need some things.

Are you leaving now?

Soon. There's a few things I need to do first.

Actually, wait! There's one thing I need... Have you got a saw?

Come on, brother?

Hey, sis?

Come on, mama, five or ten rupees for a blessing?

Thank you. Good fortune to all your family.

May your suffering be banished.

What happened, sweetie?

- I need a favour. - Anything.

I have no money though.

All I need is your secret beauty regime.

It's complicated.

I can't go any further.

- It's not what you think. - Enough!

- I've seen enough horrible things. - I'm not a horrible thing.

Will you hold my hand?

There's nothing for you here.

You have no master or respect for anyone.

Who can trust a Ronin?

Get back on the road, with the rest of the stray dogs.

And keep walking!

Not even Mount Fuji's shadow

can cloak your disgrace.

Shadow? There's no sun.

We survive on alms, it's not very fancy.

We do not eat animals.

You can stay until you feel rested.

Thank you.

Can I stay till just before sunset?

Wait.

- I don't know if I should be here. - Why?

I don't believe in god anymore.

We never have.

You've got a visitor!

Sheetal.

You beast! God will stri...

Asshole, you cut the wrong cable!

Motherfucker!

You're a monster...

It's hard being human. What's your excuse?

I'm exhausted.

What happened to your face?

Got a new one.