Original subtitles

- I missed you. - I missed you.

You must be Mary. I'm Tosker.

Hi. Unusual name.

Crazy name, crazy guy.

What's the point of all this election crap, man?

It's useless. We can't even vote till we're 21!

Because I'm sick of waiting for things to happen. It's like Eddie said. It could be different this time.

Our day is at hand.

The call will come.

This is my house!

My house, right! And you do what I tell you!

Is that why you've been seeing Tosker?

I've seen yous, you know!

How long's it been going on?

Be careful.

Oh, sorry.

- Would you like a job? - Yes.

Mille-feuille for you. Apple and date slice for you.

They'll have this place off you within a year.

You'll see.

Ah. I'll be about an hour, Stella.

Yes, sir.

- Mr Johnson - Dr Russell.

What should I expect? Is he normal?

Nobody's quite sure what normal is...these days.

Dear PC Plod, get well soon, love from Benny and all the slags.

Mr Johnson?

Berger.

Is this official?

Not at this stage.

Strange sense of humour.

I made a lot of strange friends in Soho.

Who's Benny?

I expected someone from the Met, not a local.

Even if you are Assistant Chief Constable.

- Deputy Chief Constable. - Sorry.

Deputy Chief Constable.

Sorry.

I'm here as a personal favour to the Commissioner.

You've made some serious allegations.

About your colleagues in the Met.

Particularly West End Central.

I'm not well, apparently.

Your state of mind is irrelevant to me. What matters is the truth.

I'm not going to write anything down.

This is just me and you having a chat.

Anything you like.

- Start at the beginning. - There's no beginning.

And there's no sign of an end.

And these prefabricated units can be quickly assembled.

In this case, into lovely homes towering above the dilapidated pre-war houses.

Edwards System Building is replacing the old slums of the North

with these fine streets in the sky.

We offer you and your council the chance to sweep away old mistakes

and cheaply and quickly provide your people with clean, spacious places to live.

This young couple, Mr and Mrs Cox of Newcastle,

are looking forward to the birth of their first child in a beautiful flat

with all the modern conveniences.

As you can see, they like it.

I mustn't have a late night tonight.

I'm flying to Belfast in the morning.

Belfast? Why?

- Nearly finished, Austin. - Right.

I'm talking to the city fathers about town planning.

- Why? - They don't know anything about it and I do.

Yeah. But why. What's up?

I think...er...a new city centre.

Do you mind if I tag along? We'd have to go via Birmingham so I could pick up my passport.

Your passport?

..improve our living conditions.

Changing the face of the North.

Well, having enjoyed this masterpiece of the modern cinema,

please feel free to ask any questions you'd like.

Oh, yes. Let me introduce the chairman of Edwards Housing...

..John Edwards.

Austin, I won't claim to have understood all the technical horse shite.

But will this system allow my committee to make cuts in our housing bill

without cutting quality?

Yes.

Haven't there been second thoughts in Sweden about this system's suitability for high rises?

Can I suggest that we continue this over a meal?

Well, have there or haven't there?

And you'd better sit beside me.

Austin, give me ten minutes tomorrow, will you?

- Why don't you join us? - Will I find it interesting?

You've heard my repertoire of funny stories, haven't you?

I've got proofs to read for the printers.

Not tomorrow. Make it Wednesday. 9:30.

OK?

Hello, Harold. Marcia.

It's Austin.

Ah, Nick. That reminds me.

Did I ever tell you the one about George Brown's pork pie?

So Barbara sat down.

There was a deathly hush, nobody daring to speak.

After a minute, he leans across the table to George and says,

"If you're not going to eat that pork pie, I'll have it."

Of course, a film can't really do this system justice.

Herbert, you should go and see a development personally.

Maybe I can take a look at the one in the film.

Yes. Or somewhere else.

There's one exactly the same in Bordeaux.

Another one in Greece.

Holland.

Spain.

Spain. Do you know, I've always wanted to go to Spain.

- Shall I tell you why? - Yes, do.

Bloody rubbish.

Oh, go away, will you?

- 10 Downing Street.

- Hello?

- Hello. - Hello.

Is Nicky Hutchinson there, please?

- Speaking. - Nicky. Hey, Nicky. It's me - Geordie.

- Geordie! Where are you? - I'm in London, man.

- How you doing? - All right. What about you?

- Ah. OK. - How did you know where to get me?

- Tosker. - I didn't know you were in touch.

Yeah. He said they hadn't seen you much.

- What are you doing? - Nowt. I lost my job a couple of weeks ago.

That place I was working in closed down. I was thinking about coming home.

- Great. - Nicky, I was wondering, like,...

Tosker said you were working for this builder, like.

- I was wondering... - He said what?

- ..if there was any chance of a job. - I don't work for a builder. Why'd he say that?

Well, that's what he said, like.

I'm in public relations.

- Whatever that is. - I didn't know, like.

- Geordie, you OK? - Nicky...

- ..I've no more change. - I'll ring you back. What's the number?

♪ Keep movin', movin', movin

♪ Though they're disapprovin'

♪ Keep those doggies movin', rawhide!

♪ Don't try to understand 'em

♪ Just rope and tie and brand 'em...

Is Eddie Wells in?

He generally goes to the Catholic Club on Mondays.

- Your dad's in. - Is he?

The games room.

OK.

♪ Set 'em up, ride 'em in, let 'em in, let 'em out, cut 'em out

♪ Ride 'em in, rawhide! Yeah!

What about this one?

♪ They say that you're a run-around lover

♪ Please say it isn't so

♪ But if you put me down for another

♪ I'll know, believe me, I'll know

♪ Cos the night has a thousand eyes

♪ And a thousand eyes can't help but see...

Come on, everybody.

♪ Yeah, you do that to me

♪ So remember when you say those little white lies

♪ That the night has a thousand eyes...

Last time, everyone!

♪ Yeah, remember when you say those little white lies

♪ That the night...has a thousand eyes!

- Hi. - Hello, Dad.

Thanks very much. Thanks. Good night.

Take a newsletter, comrade?

You've got a nerve flogging these in here, haven't you?

Harold Wilson's betraying the working classes?

It's all factual.

What are you frightened of, comrade?

I saw you throwing eggs at Claud Seabrook. That's what you mean by democracy?

Why don't you read the newsletter and find out what we mean?

Or are you too far down the road?

Tells you where we meet if you want to know more about the anarchist movement.

- Nicky. - Hello.

Patrick, look.

Nicky.

Hi, Patrick.

He's not been very well.

Been in hospital with his chest again.

They'll be picking him up shortly.

How's Anthony?

Driving us mad as usual.

Every blessed thing he can get gets shoved in his mouth.

- Tosker? - He's fine.

Flat OK still?

Yeah. Thanks.

Saved my life, you know.

It feels a bit chilly. A bit musty.

They all are.

That's a shame.

All of them?

Talk to your boss.

- My boss? - The builder Edwards.

I don't work for Edwards.

- Have you moved? - No. I work for Donohue.

- Isn't that the same thing? - No. No.

I don't work for a builder.

OK.

- How is your job? - Not really what I thought.

I mean... I don't mean that. I mean...

I'm right, you know, in the thick of things. I'm really busy and...

Austin really is getting things done. He really is. It's just...

I don't see all that much of him, really.

That's the only problem, really.

Did you get the birthday card?

Yeah. I did. Thanks.

And the letter. I meant to reply. I forgot your birthday. I'm sorry.

I didn't forget.

I was a bit busy, anyway.

Anthony was born on my birthday. Did you know?

It should make life simple for Tosker.

I'm sorry.

So how's life, then?

It was such a mistake, Nicky.

What?

Well, I've...

It's so...different.

It's so difficult.

Anthony's wonderful. He's worth everything.

It's all such incredible hard work.

Tosker was stupid to give up his apprenticeship.

He said he couldn't keep a wife and baby on apprentice's wages.

Now he's got a dead-end job he hates.

And he's even more obsessed with becoming a singer.

Sometimes I think I hardly know him.

It's been...

It's been horrible...

not seeing you and being able to talk to you.

I miss you so much.

Do you?

What are we going to do, Mary?

Try harder.

Everybody says it's just a question of hard work.

And for you as well, Nicky.

If Donohue is not what you thought...

..maybe you should try and get back to university and do your finals.

I mean it, Nicky.

I'll bully you.

You're my best friend, remember?

I don't really understand.

I don't really understand. You said you'd made a mistake.

A mess.

Not a mistake. It's a mess.

A mess?

No marriage should start like that.

But...er...

..I'm going to make it work.

I'm going to make this marriage work, Nicky.

I see.

Well, I have to.

I'm pregnant again.

I see.

Well, congratulations. Tosker happy?

He's thrilled.

Yeah.

Nicky...

..could you try to like him?

It would help me such a lot if you didn't have to stay away all the time.

Yeah. OK.

- Better go. - Yeah.

Tosker's having a one-man show at the Woolsington this Friday.

He's got an agent coming.

You could come.

Have a night out. Keep me company a bit, yeah?

Well, I'll see, shall I?

Yeah.

Good night. Good night, Patrick.

Good night, Nicky.

Not working today, Dominic?

I'm waiting for Austin, actually.

Hm. He didn't say anything about seeing you.

I talked to him this morning.

Why should he tell you?

It's just that he said he was going to have lunch with Mr Edwards in Birmingham.

- So... - I'll see him when he comes back, then.

I think he intended you to handle this.

Wants to cost a what? A three-day trip to Spain for three couples.

Trips must include a genuine bullfight.

- What the hell's he talking about? - Well, I think it's quite clear enough.

That's not my job! Get one of the girls to do it.

It's an open secret what's been going on in parts of London, Ted, for years.

You should use Berger's allegations as a way to start a proper investigation.

Quietly, sensibly but thoroughly.

The Met is different, Roy.

It's not like Newcastle.

You can say that again.

I'm told he's insane.

I mean, they've actually certified him now, I believe.

It doesn't matter, Ted. What matters is whether it's true.

And what if it is, Roy? What do we say to the people we police?

"Please behave yourselves. Please obey the laws.

Even though we don't."

It's a straightforward piece of police work.

If your men haven't got the time or inclination to tackle it,

then bring in an outsider.

That's not acceptable.

We'll handle this ourselves.

Thank you, Roy.

I appreciate your efforts.

Will he do anything...

in your opinion?

No.

You've wasted your time, Mr Johnson.

Anyway, I'm officially crackers now so it doesn't matter how many names I write down.

What difference does it make, anyway? Nobody will ever clean up the Met.

Nothing will ever change.

I'm sorry.

I don't know why I thought you'd be any different.

I relied on you. What a joke.

What a joke.

♪ Should I stay?

♪ Would it be a sin?

Cheers, Rita.

♪..can't help falling in love with you

♪ Like a river flows surely to the sea

♪ Darling, so it goes

♪ Some things are meant to be...

Men - they're all the same when it comes to that.

His dad was the same at his age. Like a dog with two dicks.

Fathers and sons, eh?

Eh.

Oh, you're going all the way, Tosker, son. All the way.

♪ Falling in love with you

Oh, clap, you one-eyed bastard!

- Hello, son. - How's it going?

Brilliant!

Thanks.

- Are you all enjoying yourselves? - Yeah!

Champion. There's three old women walking down the road.

What you looking at?

There's three old women walking down the road...

a bloke jumps out of a hedge, opens his raincoat and flashes them.

Oh, thank God for that.

It's not funny. Two of them had a stroke.

The other one couldn't reach!

- Excellent show, Tosker. Excellent. - Thanks for coming.

- Thanks a lot. - Very good.

Ah. Cheers, Brian.

Well...

..that were some performance. I'll take my hat off to you.

Real...

energy.

Well? When's his first gig, then?

Come on, Brian. You know as well as I do from your days on my books.

There's a world of difference between a friendly little audience like this

and Saturday night in a club.

Well, I realise, obviously, I'd have to come up with some different material, like.

He's a worker, Les. He's prepared to work. Raw talent's what we're looking at here.

Let me give you some advice.

All right? You won't like it now but you'll be glad of it in five years' time.

And it's meant sincerely, from the heart.

Don't give up your day job.

Thank you very much and...er... I wish you the best of luck. Truly.

Good night, Brian.

Take care, everybody.

The scabby Jewish bastard!

- Well... - Sit down, man and drink your pint.

I'm not bothered. It's only one man's opinion.

Exactly. He's not even a man, anyway.

He's just a scabby little rat!

Rita, man.

Aye, why not?

You got what you came for, haven't you?

Good laugh.

- I'm not laughing. And that isn't what I came for. - Why did you come, eh?

As if I bloody needed to ask!

Tosker.

- See you. - Not if I see you first.

And stay away from her.

- Don't talk about me as if I was your property. - You're my wife!

Got that, Brains?

Mr Donohue's office boy.

- Do you know what you are, Tosker? - Go, will you?

- Do you? - No. What?

You're a first class A-one, premiere, brainless shite.

Oi!

You might have it up there, Nicky, but I've got it down here.

Looking for something special?

There's a film show in the back.

I used to work here. Before.

When it was Walensky's.

- The back used to be a bakery. - Yeah?

Well...

..this isn't a waiting room, pal.

Everybody, stand still!

Police, outside.

I'm Detective Inspector Salway, Obscene Publications Squad.

This is a search warrant.

Don't be pathetic. Come on. Outside.

Stand over here, please.

- Get their names and addresses. - Projectionist, sir.

You're in a spot of trouble, pal. Over there.

This won't be a court case, will it?

Just name and address.

- You. Name. - George Peacock.

- Address, George? - Well, I haven't got one at the minute, like.

- Identification, George? - No.

Guv.

All right. Off you go.

All of you gents.

Not you.

Honourable Member.

Right, my friend.

- Michael Frisch. - Are you the owner, Michael?

No. Definitely not. I'm just looking after it for a bloke I met in a pub.

He didn't tell me his name.

- Shall I hit him, Guvnor? - Leave it out.

- Is this Barratt? - Could be, actually.

That's right, yeah. Afternoon.

- Are you the owner of this material, Mr Barratt? - Me?

Better leave, then.

- Mr Barratt... - Shut up!

Mouth shut.

- No phone call this time, Barratt? - I didn't get your name.

John Salway.

Remember it.

Get the van round.

Got time for a drink, John?

Take the lot. You two, you're nicked.

Read them their rights.

Phone the brief.

We can get this all straightened out over a nice cup of tea, can't we?

Like you did with Berger.

But he's dead now.

The party's over, Barratt.

If this goes on, it's going to be very expensive.

You can't beat Scotland Yard in a straight fight.

Will you shut up?

Get down the warehouse with Cyril.

Load the van. Leave this place empty.

Open up the new shop in Brewer Street tomorrow.

I'll find somebody to front it.

They'll get sick before I do.

Nonstop show, sir? Lovely girls. Come and have a look. Step inside.

Is it early closing day or what?

Hello. West End Central?

The duty sergeant, please.

Hello, Norman. Benny.

Never mind "can't talk". Listen.

I just got my boys out. That cost me bail. Then there'll be fines.

That's if they're not sent to jail.

And plus, I lost all the stock.

Well, "sorry" is not really good enough, is it?

Out of your hands?

That's what I'm paying you for, innit?

Nor...

Nice cup of tea, Ben?

♪ Oh, every guy would make her his if he just could, if she just would

♪ Some sweet day, I'll make her mine, pretty flamingo

♪ Then every guy will envy me

♪ Cos paradise is where I'll be...

- Are you Jerry? - Geordie.

Here.

Any chance of a job here, do you think?

Doing what?

Maybe he wants you for the new club.

Where's that?

Macclesfield Street.

When it opens.

Somebody set fire to it.

Who?

East End businessmen.

He'll send somebody for you, I expect.

- This beer's piss. - It's not bad, mate.

- Are you arguing with me? - No.

Get off!

Well, well. Get this lot straightened up.

I want to be back in business in an hour. Back on the door, you.

Well, thanks a lot, mate. Admire your courage.

I think you're gonna have to pay them, Benny.

Leave the thinking to me, Charlie.

- We don't know who they are. - Then I can't pay 'em, then.

If you've got nothing intelligent to say, shut up.

They'll be back.

And when they come we'll be ready for 'em this time.

Not standing around here making cups of tea.

I need someone to run this bar.

Can you look after yourself?

Yeah.

Jerry, come here.

Everyone, come here a minute.

There's a long campaign ahead.

Against the police. Against the criminal elements.

I've got nothing to offer you but hubble, bubble, toil and trouble.

At the end of the day, ultimate victory. So...

pull your fingers out.

What do you say, Jerry?

OK. Thanks, Mr Barratt.

I love it. I love it.

I love that accent!

What's the point of Donohue PRS?

Funny you should ask that.

Well...

I'm not the only one who'd like to know.

Is it just some kind of... advertising-cum-public relations agency?

Or an unofficial offshoot of local government?

A tool for "dynamic social change" as I was once told?

Or a private joke by Austin Donohue or what?

I don't see how it all fits together.

That's how Austin operates.

Everybody in separate boxes. Nobody but him gets the whole picture.

- What? Not even you? - No.

I'd better get back to work.

Why didn't you buy Felix a drink when you had the chance?

I mean, he can't even speak to me.

He doesn't like the thought of you working for Donohue.

Glorified office boy. All that.

Oh, well... Felix would know, of course.

Felix knows everything. Felix was on the Jarrow March so obviously...

Right. That's great there.

Thanks very much.

Ah. Good.

Harold's called an election.

I've been with Connor all morning. The party's broke as usual.

What do you think? Do you like it?

- What is this, Austin? - I want you to be my right-hand man.

In the middle of everything.

I promised you a political education. It's time for Phase Two.

- What was Phase One? - We're going to be very busy, you and me.

The party's asked me to take on its PR work for the election.

That's brilliant.

Would you still lead the campaign?

I'll be doing what I've always done.

Only this time I'll be paid.

And so will you. Any objections to getting paid for your work?

Erm...look...I sort of promised Eddie I'd footslog for him.

Well, you'll have to tell him you can't.

OK. But, Austin, I don't want you patronising me.

I want to be in on everything. Really everything. Or nothing.

Regard yourself as a junior partner.

I'll have a contract drawn up.

- Yes? - Yes!

- Does she dress up all the time? - Who?

The one who you were singing to the other night?

What you talking about?

What you talking about, woman?

I'm not blind.

Uh-huh?

Well, I'm not blind either.

Oh, come on, Tosker. You know fine well.

- Nicky and me are just... - I don't.

You do.

I don't.

Well, you are blind.

What? Blind an' all, am I?

As well as being a tone deaf, brainless shite?

Nobody said you were tone deaf as far as I remember.

- You might as well have done. - Me? I said nothing.

Exactly. You said nothing.

I work my guts out for an hour and a quarter and you, you say nothing.

Tosker, I can't be like your mother, telling you lies all the time.

I don't want you to be my mother, I want you to be my wife.

A proper wife.

This phrase. This "proper wife".

What do you mean lies?

How come we got on to this?

What do you mean lies?

Tosker, man.

All right.

All right.

Well, you can tell us the truth.

Go on.

I don't want to talk about your act. I want to talk about this woman.

There is no woman, man!

You're lying.

I'm not lying.

OK.

I'll tell you the truth if you tell me the truth.

OK.

Are you sure?

All right.

You go first.

You can't sing.

At least, you can't sing any better than half a million other people in the country.

You're wasting your time.

The agent was right.

Sorry.

Well?

Tosker?

There's nobody but you.

Oh, come on, Terry. You're kidding, aren't you?

Not a story? I think it's a great story.

This is a 22-year-old taking on a Tory heavyweight

in a constituency he can never hope to win.

Shall I? Right.

Brothers... Or ladies and gentlemen or whatever, you know.

- In the 17 years, it has been my privilege... - Sorry, Terry. Hang on.

..to serve as your Member of Parliament,

it has been my proud boast that I have always striven my utmost

- to uphold the time honoured tradition... - Nicky...

Four o'clock. The photographer for Arthur.

- Yes. Will do, Peter. - That's good.

What I'm interested in most is some idea of what issues you want to concentrate on.

Issues? What? Houses?

- That's the top one. - Good.

I'm a firm believer in building new houses.

- Good. - I usually say that.

I spoke about this in the House recently.

Good speech.

Not that it was reported here, mind.

- Have you got a copy of that? - Hang on, Terry. Nicky wants a word.

While he's in a good mood, get something in on Sunday for Arthur.

- What? - Well, I don't know. That's your job.

Terry. Nicky. Hello, Terry.

I was wanting to talk to you about Arthur Watson.

Well, did you know Arthur made a major speech in the House the other day

about the housing shortage and nobody picked it up?

Not a dicky-bird about it.

When was it, Arthur?

15th May, 1965.

Terry, we can't quite pin the date but it was very recent

because this is the thing about Arthur, Terry,

he really believes passionately in doing something about the housing situation.

I'll let you have it tomorrow, Terry.

Passionately? Eh, I like that.

- Can we use that? - We can have as much passion as we like.

Eh. That's not legal yet, you know!

Mr Barratt, it's me, Geordie.

- What's going on? - Charlie said...er...

- Charlie said you needed me. - Does it look like it?

You bastard, Charlie!

All right? How's it going?

Jules wants a word with you later. I'm going for a cup of tea.

Oh, look at this. This is disgusting, innit?

In a clean neighbourhood like this.

Disgusting. I mean, what is Soho coming to?

All right, sweetie. How you doing, mate? I'm going for a cup of tea.

Look at him. What's he supposed to do, eh?

Walk into a dirty bookshop, wait for us to catch up, then shout out, "Mine, all mine?"

We're making bloody fools of ourselves.

Well?

Oh, Jesus!

That's your lot. Thank you, gents. Thank you.

You've opened up again, I see.

Are you the new owner, sir?

- No. - Who is, sir?

I'm looking after it for a bloke I met in the pub.

- Oh, what's his name? - Dunno.

- What's his name, sir? - He never said.

♪ Louie, Louie

♪ Oh, baby, me gotta go

♪ Louie, Louie

♪ Oh, baby, me gotta go

Come in.

There he is. The hero of the hour.

Geordie, how are you?

- I'm OK... - ..thanks, Mr Barratt.

Some grapes, Geordie. And some bottles.

I love him.

Are you all right for money? Here. And don't worry. Take a few nights off.

Don't come back till you feel yourself again.

We'll get 'em one day, Geordie.

How much are you charging him for this place, Benny?

Hey. You know, you're right.

- Cyril, you fix him up with something better. - I like it.

He likes it.

Unbelievable.

Well, I gotta go. I got work to do.

I'll see you in a few days, eh?

Well done, old son.

- Funny bloke, aren't you? - Why's he so pleased?

I've got two broken ribs.

Cos the cops are getting desperate.

Salway.

Yes, sir.

The Arsehole and Deputy Arsehole require my presence.

Well, it seems to me, whatever gloss you might care to put on it,

that these villains in Soho are allowed to ply their filthy trade with impunity.

Yes. Yes, Commander.

I read your memoranda about manpower shortages and the need for new laws.

Well, I'm sorry, but we can't make new laws for you.

The courts may have decided in their wisdom that Lady Chatterley's Lover is acceptable

but DH Lawrence is one thing, out-and-out filth another.

The law no longer defines obscenity.

It's a crime.

And you're in charge of CID.

What Mr Blamire is asking here, sir,

is that Obscene Publications Squad should go on flogging their guts out

so that insignificant front men can be charged with trivial offences.

The next day, the real villains have got two more shops open.

With two more front men. New stock. Laughing all over their faces.

Sir.

Well, Inspector, we've just heard a lot of very plausible excuses,

made on your behalf, for the chaotic spread of crime in your area.

Now the Commissioner and I would like to hear from your lips

exactly what measures you have in hand that will do something about it.

I am sorry about that.

OK. What do you want us to do?

If Blamire asks, or the press office,

we're still going in with all guns blazing. All right?

But, for the moment, call a halt.

- Passion seems to be an important word to you. - Yes.

I'm not ashamed to admit I do feel passionate about the things that matter.

A good game of football at St James's Park on Saturday afternoon.

Decent houses for decent working people.

That's what I'm in this game for at the end of the day.

Thank you very much, Arthur Watson.

That concludes our series of profiles of Tyneside MPs.

Tomorrow, of course, is the day that matters.

Did I detect some of your purple prose?

You'd hardly expect Arthur to come up with anything intelligent.

We can't all be geniuses.

I don't want him to be a genius.

I just... Do you know what Arthur is?

A Tory. A progressive Tory.

He's Claud Seabrook in a flat cap.

Very good.

Did he tell you he was once decorated by Franco?

- Franco? - For services to the Spanish people.

He puts a word in for Spain whenever Gibraltar raises its ugly head in the House.

- Think that's funny?

- Don't you? - No, I don't.

I'm helping to get him elected and what's he going to do when he gets there?

- Apart from plug Franco? And Edwards. - I wondered how long it'd take to get on to him.

That speech, I couldn't believe it. I'd written most of it.

It was practically a free plug for Edwards System Building. Is this a coincidence?

Was ESB mentioned by name?

No.

He gets sent this stuff as a matter of course.

He reads it. He agrees with it.

Next time he makes a speech in the House on the housing crisis, it sticks in his mind.

You said yourself he's no intellectual.

Hello.

Yes. Yes, he is.

Hello.

Arthur.

No, there's no need to thank me. Honestly.

No, really, Arthur. If you win it'll have nothing to do with me.

Yeah. In a day or two.

Say hello to Franco, Arthur!

Nothing. Just Austin. Bye, Arthur.

♪ Wild thing, I think I love you

♪ Come on and hold me tight

♪ I love you

One whole week without a bust.

Thank you very much, Scotland Yard, and good night.

Thank you, everybody. Especially you, Charlie, for all your good advice.

"You'll never beat Scotland Yard in a straight fight."

- Victory. - Victory!

♪ Wild thing...

Stay where you are.

What do you think, Cyril?

Charlie, what shall I do?

You don't have to, Geordie. Are you sure, old son?

Yeah.

Good lad.

Charlie, tell our friends the bar's closed.

- Me? - Trust me.

Bloody hell, Benny.

Cyril.

- Ernie. - Mr Hellyer.

Sorry.

I didn't want to believe it.

You've had money off the top for over a year now and I never said anything about it.

Why didn't you just leave it like it was?

- I'd never have complained. - You keep the clubs.

I'll take the shops.

Or else what?

War.

I lifted you out of the gutter.

Paid off your debts. Straightened you out.

- It's a hard world, Benny. - Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Shake on it?

One word of advice.

When you pay someone like Ernie...

..make sure you pay him enough.

I don't think you'll be disappointed.

You can expect the same amount every week.

Here!

One more thing.

Take that piece of rubbish away with you and dump it somewhere.

- Benny... - Shut up!

Well done. Sorry, mate.

I'll never forget what you've done.

I want you as my personal assistant.

I need people I can trust.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Well...

..that's all my problems solved, innit?

All I got to worry about now is another five years of Harold Wilson.

- Thanks. - Mr Edwards.

Three things.

First, my London office will open with a reception on September 4th.

You, and you alone, are invited.

Second, the press reception for the unveiling of the city centre model.

As a member of the building consortium, I will be asked to speak.

Uh-huh. Anything in particular you'd like to say?

Yes. I made a few notes.

Right. Leave these with me.

What was the third thing?

Well, it's a rather delicate matter.

I had hoped you might not need to be asked.

Asked what?

Well, you're the man with the friends in high places.

You're the mastermind who delivered the vote again.

I would have thought your voice was listened to at...certain times of the year.

Birthday Honours.

Ah.

Don't you think I've earned it?

If I don't deserve something, nobody does.

Yes, that's a very good way of putting it.

I'll see what can be done.

I'd appreciate it, Austin.

- Bye. - Bye, Austin.

You're not going to, are you?

Does it matter?

I'm off, then, Mr Donohue.

Is this my job?

- It's what he pays us for. - He doesn't pay me anything.

He pays me and I'm asking you to write him a speech.

Saying what? He's a Tory builder who's carved himself a piece of huge development in this city

for which he'll be paid handsomely by the taxpayer?

What am I supposed to do? Help him pat himself on the back?

You haven't seen this shit!

- This isn't working, is it? - No.

No.

You never enjoyed the campaign.

Maybe you should have been out there footslogging with Eddie.

I might have met some real people. Face-to-face.

Instead of pulling the wool over their eyes!

You know where this election was fought and won.

- Rubbish! - Nicky, you're looking at the future here, man!

I only spoke twice during this whole campaign.

In '64, I spoke every night. Every night.

In '59 and '55, three times a night.

In different halls.

In the '30s, it wasn't even halls.

Street corners still.

You got up on a box in the big market and you started talking.

In two minutes you had a crowd if you were any good.

We all did it!

Eddie. Connor.

A fish wife, you know.

Felix was one of the best. Oh, one of the very best, your dad.

By God he had some fire in his belly.

Did he?

He got up on his hind legs and he shouted.

What about?

About everything you know is important

when you're 20 years old and the country's run by crooks and cowards.

Why don't you get up and shout about it now?

Because nobody's interested!

People can't see how the big issues connect with their lives any more!

Make them see!

Don't make any rash decisions, eh?

It isn't rash.

I resign.

I'm getting people somewhere decent to live.

What more is it you want from me?

I never promised any more than that, Nicky.

It's my fault, Austin. I made a mistake.

I was looking for something that used to happen.

Before I was born. In the big market.

Maybes it just doesn't exist any more.

People can't connect with the big issues any more.

Is that right, Austin? What are the big issues?

Streets in the sky?

Houses?

Trips to Spain? Bullfights?

No.

The great moral issue facing modern British politics...

is corruption.

♪ I thought you'd listen to my reasoning

♪ But now I see you don't hear a thing

♪ Got to make you see how it's got to be

♪ Yes, it's all right

♪ All or nothing

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ All or nothing

♪ Come on

♪ All or nothing for me

♪ Things could work out just like I want them to

♪ Yeah

♪ If I could have the other half of you...