All language subtitles for Mary Tyler Moore s07e18 Hail the Conquering Gordy

Who can turn the world on with a smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all

seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it, love is all

need to waste it. You can have a town,
why don't you take it?

You're going to make it after all.

I'm upset.

Outraged and angered. Oh, well, what
happened, Ted?

Didn't you like your prize and your
Froot Loops?

No, that was fine.

What's in this paper?

Read it, Mary. It'll make you sick.

New York news personality Gordon Howard,
the former WJM weatherman, arrived last

night for a visit in the Twin Cities.

Hey! How about that? Gordy's back.
That's great.

Wait, wait. You didn't hear the rest.

In an airport interview, Howard
confirmed the signing of a contract to

network morning show, as well as four
primetime specials at a reported salary

$250 ,000 a year.

See? I told you it'd make you sick.

That son of a gun. I always knew he had
talent. I knew it when I hired him as

weatherman. There was just something
about the way he handled his pointer.

Oh, yeah. Well, I saw it, too.

I mean, remember when I used him as co
-anchorman with Ted?

You know, that was the first time Gordy
ever did the news. Oh, yeah. Well, I

hate to take credit for someone's
success, but once he was crossing the

and I didn't hit him with my car.

You're right. We're being silly.

The only one responsible for Gordy's
success is Gordy himself, and he made it

through talent, perseverance, and... Uh,
Gordy! Hey, congratulations. We just

read the good news.

Yeah? Oh, sure, come on down.

Sure, hurry up.

He's up there at the station owner's
office. He's coming right down.

Listen to this. The morning show will
feature candid conversations with major

celebrities. Production will begin as
soon as the network selects a suitable

-host. Co -host?

Co -host.

So, my dear, sweet, intimate friend
needs a co -host.

Aw, Ted.

You know what he's going to do, don't
you? He's going to embarrass all of us.

No, he's not.

And I'm going to make sure he doesn't.
Ted?

A co -host. He's going to have to pick a
co -host.

Ted, will you listen to me?

Ted! The minute Gordy walks in here, I
don't want you to fawn, beg, or toady

that co -host job.

Okay, Lou.

Can I grovel?

I mean it, Ted. Don't be ridiculous,
Lou.

When I meet Gordy, it's going to be one
professional meeting another.

Hey, anybody here seen my pointer?

Great news, Ted. How are you, man?

I wonder

why

Gordy wanted to have lunch here.

I mean, we could have gone to Antoine's.
Mary, Gordy's a simple guy, and I'm

sure he likes things easy and relaxed.

I'm sure it makes him quite
uncomfortable to have people make a big

him. Do you understand?

Mr. Grant, are you implying that I'm
making Gordy feel uncomfortable?

Well, I don't know about Gordy, but
you're sure making me uncomfortable.

I mean, panting and gushing over him the
way he talks about meeting all those

celebrities. I didn't pant and gush.

Oh?

You actually had lunch with Charles
Nelson Riley?

little more blase.

Thank you.

This is the commissary. Yeah.

You remember the commissary, don't you,
Gordo? Oh, yeah. Or as we call it,

cramped city.

Is everything just as you remember it?

Everything.

Say, Gordo, speaking of remembering, do
you remember when we did the news

together? I mean, as a team?

Yeah, sure, Ted.

Did it give you any ideas?

Ideas? Ted, aren't you supposed to meet
Georgette for lunch today?

Well, that was over an hour ago. She's
probably finished by now.

Georgette, you got yourself a new
girlfriend, huh? Oh, hey, that's right.

don't know. Ted got married last year.

Well, Ted got married. Somebody finally
chopped a silver fox.

Yep, and they have a little baby girl,
and they adopted a 12 -year -old boy. A

12 -year -old boy. How about that?

A great kid, too.

Yeah, I sure would like to meet him
sometime, Ted. You would? Wait here or

him out of school.

Perky?

No, Ted's all right.

Oh, thanks.

So, Gordy, tell us all about the people
that you... the,

uh, people you've met.

Mary, I can't believe it.

The money they're paying me to interview
celebrities on television.

You know, last week I interviewed
Barbara Streisand. Huh?

Barbara... Streisand. Yeah.

And the week before that, Sir Lawrence
Olivier.

The English fellow.

Yeah, but I really couldn't believe it
when I found myself two weeks ago

on a mountaintop in Utah shooting the
breeze with Robert Redford. Huh?

Robert Redford.

Good little actor.

He's really a simple guy. Likes skiing
in the outdoors.

You two would probably hit it off pretty
good.

Well, I certainly wouldn't be averse to
meeting Redford if the situation ever

aroused.

Arose?

the idea of meeting all those
celebrities.

Yeah, well, who isn't?

I mean, on the outside, I'm Mr. Cool,
but on the inside, I'm jumping up and

and saying, hey, man, you are Willie
Mays.

You actually meant Willie Mays.

Well,

you guys are beautiful.

I sure am glad I had time to stop by and
see you.

Hey, I got a great idea. Why don't we
make a little party for Gordy tonight?

Hey, terrific.

Yeah, I don't know, Lou. I've been
invited out by the station owner, and I

know if I can get out of it. Bring him
along.

The more the merrier.

Okay, I'll see if I can swing it. Great.

Excuse me, Mr. Howard.

I'm Janet Downing from WJM Publicity.
Yeah. There's some reporters and

photographers downstairs. I wonder if
you'd mind talking to them for a little

while. Boy, that's the way it's been
ever since I got this job.

Photo sessions, articles, interviews.

Boy, oh boy, oh boy.

Do you want me to tell them you're not
here? Are you crazy?

So what time should I be there?

Be where?

It's your place for the party.

Mr. Grant, I'm not going to give the
party tonight.

Sure you will.

No, I won't.

Mr. Grant, I have a thousand things to
do.

I've got to prepare the budget report
for tomorrow morning.

I've got letters to write. I have to do
my tax return. Okay, okay. I'll have the

party at my place. Good.

What time shall I be there?

Hey, where's Gordo?

He's out there.

Too bad. I wanted him to meet my adopted
son.

That's not your son.

If I get that job, he will be.

Jack.

There's a party tonight. Can you come?

Oh, sure. What time, ma 'am?

Don't ask me, Murr. It's at Mr. Grant's
house.

Right. 8 .30. Special occasion.

Oh, terrific, Lou. Terrific.

Special occasion, huh? Like maybe a
surprise going -away party for a local

anchorman soon to be skying to Gotham?
Oh, Ted.

We face back. Don't you think that if
Gordy were going to ask you to be his co

-host, he would have asked you by now?

Yeah, you're right.

I'd better ask him.

Ted, don't.

do that.

Why, Mary, they're going to need a co
-host. It could very easily be me.

And in this business, it's not how good
you are that gets you hired, it's who

you know.

Now I know someone. God bless him, I
know Gordy.

Hey, we're on for a night, Lou.

Okay, great.

Say 30 my place. Gordo, I've got to talk
to you for a minute, Lou. I'll need

your office. Look, Gordo, Lou, when I
make it, you'll know me.

In here, Gordo.

What's happening?

Be gentle.

Yeah, you want to see me?

Sit down, girl.

Sure.

What do you want to talk about?

Well, I just wondered if there was any
favor I could do for you while you're in

town.

Well, thanks, Ted, but I don't need any
favors done now.

Well, that's all I was going to say.

Okay.

Oh, by the way, there is maybe one
little thing you could do for me. Name

Could you give me that co -host job on
your show?

Gordo, believe me, I'm great.

I can talk way deeper than this.

Good evening, this is Ted Baxter with
the news. Oh, Ted, don't do this. You

really put me in a rough spot.

All I'm asking you to do is recommend
me, Gordo. Tell them how great I am.

not as if I were asking you to lie.

Gordo, believe me, we'll be a great
team.

Me, a white Anglo -Saxon Protestant, and
you, a black Anglo -Saxon Protestant?

Ted, I'm sorry.

I know how much this job means to you,
but I just can't recommend you for it.

Why not?

Of course I can't.

I want to know why.

Well, I'm entitled to know the reason. I
mean, you owe me that.

I want the truth. I mean, what is it?

You think I'm not good enough?

Oh, Ted.

No, no, no. Come on.

If that's the reason, I want to know.

I mean, is that what you think, that I'm
not good enough?

I mean, go ahead, say it if it's true.

Don't worry, I'm man enough to take it.

Okay, Ted, maybe that's the reason.
Maybe I don't think you're good enough.

Boy, he really took that rough.

If only you hadn't asked me why I
couldn't recommend him. What'd you say?

I told him I didn't think he was good
enough.

And he bought it?

Lou, I'll see you at your place tonight,
huh? All right, take care.

Murray? See you, Corey.

Boo, you didn't replace me yet, did you?

No, Ted, the job's still yours.

Oh, thanks.

You know what Gordy said to me?

What, Ted?

None of your business.

Anyway, that clown doesn't know what
he's talking about.

Third -rate opportunist made it on pure
luck.

Well, Ted, if that's the way you feel,
maybe you shouldn't go to the party

tonight.

miss it.

I didn't get a chance to tell that guy
what I really think of him. Oh, I can't

wait. Believe me, sparks are going to
fly tonight.

Why are you smiling?

Well, I just, I can't help it, Mr.
Grant. There's a party tonight.

Two of the guests are ready to tear into
each other.

The tension's mounting.

Sounds like one of my typical parties.

But it's not to yours.

It's open.

Hi. Thought I'd come by early and see if
you need any help.

Oh, that's okay, Mary. Sit down, have a
drink.

Mr. Grant, this place is not ready for a
party.

Why? Why not?

You're kidding, aren't you?

What's wrong with the way the place is?

The place looks like a dump, Mr. Grant.

Hey, that's not nice.

You come into somebody's house and say
it looks like a dump?

What do you think, I don't have any
feelings?

This is my home.

Mr. Grant, in a few minutes, Gordy is
going to be walking through that door

Mr. and Mrs.

Cobb, who happen to own the station
where you and I work. And you don't have

hangers?

Just throw your coat on the bed.

That's not so unusual.

I've been to a lot of elegant parties
where the hostess says, just throw your

coats on the bed.

Do you think you could make your bed
first?

What for? They're only going to throw
coats on it.

Well, Mary, maybe there is something in
what you say.

Mrs. Cobb is sort of a fussy broad.

Come on, Mary, can't you just help a
little?

are amazing.

You know that I am actually feeling a
twinge of guilt.

And all I did was walk through that door
as a guest.

No.

Clean it up yourself.

Well, I thought I had until you walked
in here.

I guess maybe I had better tidy up a
little more.

Aren't you even going to help me?

I'm not going to lift a finger.

Okay. Do what you want. Everybody will
think you helped me anyway.

Just remember, don't make it like your
place. Make it real.

Mr. Grant, your debts are going to be
here any minute. Have you checked to

sure you have enough ice, soda, glasses?

I've got enough ice. I've got enough
soda. I've got enough glasses.

I see only four glasses here.

Well, they can take turns.

All right, all right. I'll go in the
kitchen, get some more glasses.

While you're at it, you better get me a
vacuum cleaner.

Or a shovel.

Lou, this drink has really got a very
interesting taste.

Vodka and something else I can't quite
put my finger on. What is it? It's

boysenberry.

My favorite.

Well, frankly, it doesn't taste like
boysenberry to me.

Yours is peanut butter.

Hi, Mary.

How's it going?

Pretty good for a first party.

Let me take your coat, honey.

Thanks, Dan.

Here, just put them in the bedroom.

Listen, Ted, I don't want you to make
any trouble with Gordy tonight. Oh,

nothing to worry about, Lou.

I thought it all over and I realized I
was being childish about the whole

In fact, I'm going over now to wish him
luck.

Good.

Oh, Mr. Cobb, Mrs. Cobb.

Good evening, Ted.

You know, we were just talking.

Who would have thought when you were
doing the news with Gordy?

that he would be the one to become a
huge success, huh?

Well, I just came over to wish you well
in New York, Arnold.

Hey, Ted, that's real nice of you.
Thanks.

Well, best of luck.

Or as they say in showbiz, break a leg.

And an arm and a neck and a spine.

Well, am I behaving myself?

Yes, you are.

Aren't you going to introduce me to
Gordy? Oh, all right.

me meet my wife, Georgette.

Georgette? How do you do? A woman I'd
much rather have than $250 ,000 a year.

Wouldn't you?

Yeah, Ted, yeah.

Want to trade?

I'm sorry.

Just testing Gordo. I mean, good job's
coming to go. I mean, you're hot one

minute and you're down the next.

But I'll always have this fine woman
here.

I know how you feel, Ted. I got a wife
myself.

You're a lucky man.

Oh, you've got a wife, too?

Yeah. Oh, I've got kids. I've got two
kids.

I've got children myself.

How many?

It doesn't matter. How many?

Three.

Do you have a match?

Yeah, I think I do. Well, I've got a
gold lighter.

Tell us, Gordo.

Tell us lowly creatures what it's like
to be living on the top.

It's no different from your life, Ted.

Nothing special, no big deal.

Oh, well, I don't think you got your job
the same way I got mine. I mean, we all

know how those jobs are gotten.

Right,

boss?

You know, Ted, when I told you before
that my life is the same as yours, I was

lying. It's better.

Want to hear the terms of my contract,
Ted? No, no, no.

That's right, Ted.

You know I get to work every day?

Chauffeured limo. Chauffeured limo, Ted.

That's right.

And my picture hangs right next to
Walter Cronkite.

Oh, and about the clothes, Ted.

You know we got to tie in with the
clothing store. That's right, Ted.

Free clothes.

All my clothes are free.

I'm sorry.

He had it coming.

You sure told him, honey.

Come on in, Ted.

Sit down.

Thanks for having us over, Mary.

I think Ted's feeling better already.

My life is over.

Ted.

You're doing...

Very well.

You make a good living.

You're a celebrity.

You've won some awards.

Six.

Four.

Four for news, two for bowling.

A lot of good it's done me, though.

Ted, I think I know what you're going
through.

No, you don't. No one ever knows what
you're going through, and they say they

know what you're going through.

I say it all the time. I haven't got a
clue.

you just let me take a shot at it.

I think you had a dream.

You dreamed that you started from
nowhere and you made it all the way to

top.

Became rich, successful in every way,
loved.

And recently you've begun to become
aware the time is slipping away and your

life has turned out a little differently
from the dream.

In fact, compared to the dream, you
think your life isn't all that terrific.

And it's begun to bother you.

It's amazing, Mary. How did you know
that was my problem?

Ted, that's everybody's problem.

I had a dream once.

I dreamed of becoming a ballerina.

Took so many classes. I practiced so
hard in the hopes that one day I'd dance

with the finest ballet company.

and I'd win the cheers of audiences all
over the world.

So you wanted to be a world -famous
dancer, and you wound up as a producer

local news show.

That's right.

Boy, you really blew it.

I mean, compared to you, I mean, how
great. At least I'm an anchorman

That's right, Ted, you are.

But you're not a dancer anywhere.

Well, no, I'm not.

Boy, you must feel rotten.

Well, no.

I mean, it must really eat you up.

I mean, every day you have to say to
yourself, I'm not a ballerina and I

will be.

No, I don't say that every day.

Oh, you poor kid.

Say. Sure, Ted, all of a sudden I feel a
lot better about myself.

That's great, Ted.

And I'm not even mad at Gordy anymore. I
guess I never was.

I was mad at life.

Because I thought it let me down, but it
didn't let me down. It let Mary down.

Ted, I think we'd better be going. The
sitter's waiting.

All right, let's go.

Thanks for cheering me up, Mary.

I hope Ted didn't say anything to upset
you, Mary.

No, no.

Don't forget.