All language subtitles for Mary Tyler Moore s07e04 Whats Wrong with Swimming

Who can turn the world on with a smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all

seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it, love is all

need to waste it. You can have the town,
why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all

You're gonna make it after

all

Mary, do me a favor.

Help me pick out a name for my kid.

Ted, you mean you haven't named her yet?

What's the rush?

Well, she's more than a month old.

Besides, I thought you had chosen Mary
Lou.

Well, Mary Lou's a nice name, but so are
a lot of others.

Now, I hate to commit myself.

Ted.

Ted, I'm your friend. I'll commit you.

I mean, why does she need a name right
away? I mean, she won't come if we call

her. She can walk.

Can't do anything.

Well, hardly anything.

Good morning.

Good morning, Mary. Hey, guys, I think I
may just have had what could be a truly

great idea.

What do you think of Barbara Jean
Smathers?

No, the last name has to be Baxter.

Barbara Jean Smathers.

Oh, yeah, the Olympic swimmer. Ah -ha,
the ex -swimmer. She's now doing local

broadcasting, and I saw a tape of her
commenting on a swimming race, and,

Murray, she was knowledgeable, poised.

And I suddenly thought to myself,
wouldn't she be fantastic on the news?

Hey.

Hold on.

We don't need anybody else on the news.
We've got me.

I'm all you could ask for in a
newscaster. And bless.

Now, Ted, I meant just to do the sports.
That's all. Murray, she's attractive.

She knows about sports.

She's got a great on -camera
personality. What do you think?

Well, I hate to agree with Ted, Mayor,
but I am not too thrilled by the idea of

having my copy mangled by some dummy in
a tank suit. Hey, wait a minute. What

makes you think she's a dummy? Oh, come
on, Mary, let's face it. Someone who has

spent half her life in water is bound to
be a little... Wrinkled.

People don't like to watch wrinkled
news.

Sorry, Mary, the subject is closed. The
subject is not closed.

Marie, I expect this from Ted, but why
are you being so negative? I just don't

think we gain anything by sticking some
pretty little ninny on the news.

Pretty little ninny?

Marie, she happens to be a college
graduate.

She's bright. She's articulate.

She's a woman.

That's why you're both against the idea.
Oh, hey, no.

Exactly.

Well, I'm the producer of the news, and
I think it's a good idea, so that's

that. And now the subject is close -up.

You notice you don't see her rushing in
there to suggest her idea to Lou.

Oh, sure, sure, she's brave with us. But
telling Lou is a different matter.

Somehow or other, I don't hear the
little patter of her feet as she

here to lay her wonderful idea on Lou.

Who is it? It's me, Mary.

Buzz off, Ted.

That's very good, Ted, but buzz off
anyway.

Don't play silly games outside my door
this early in the morning.

I'm sorry.

Now, what is it?

Mr. Grant, if I asked you something,
would you at least think about it for a

while before answering?

Sure. Anything else?

Yes. There really is something I want to
discuss with you.

Why don't you come to my place for
dinner tonight?

Tonight? Yeah. Fine. What do you want to
discuss?

Well, all right, just so you can give it
some thought.

I was thinking, wouldn't it be a
sensational idea to hire someone like

Jean Smathers to do the sports on our
news? Forget it.

Why? Because I know exactly why you're
suggesting it, Mary.

You think it'd be cute to have a woman
do the sports.

I... don't think anything of the kind.
The big thing these days is for women to

get into fields that used to be just for
the guys, right?

Well, maybe so, but not in my case. So
you said to yourself, hey, wouldn't it

cute and clever and different to have
sports done by a woman? And sports are

usually done by a guy.

Oh, Mary, there's a good reason why guys
do sports. There is no reason why a

woman can't do sports. How many passes
did Fran Tarkin complete last season?

Mr. Grant, I don't happen to follow
football. Come on, take a wild guess.

many passes did he complete?

Several.

Mr. Grant, I don't happen to follow
sports, but Barbara Jean Smathers is a

swimmer. That's not sports.

Football is sports.

It's a football town.

Talking to the Vikings, that's what
people care about. Plus baseball,

basketball, hockey.

Sports is sports.

Our sports, rather. And Barbara Jean
Smathers can do them. Do it. Just as

as well as... Not on my newscast she
can't. Well, that's just narrow -minded

stubborn. That's better than trying to
be cute and clever and with it.

I can't believe you're accusing me of
something that dumb.

I can't believe you want to do it. Mr.
Grant, the idea of hiring Barbara Jean

Smathers to do sports is not dumb.

What's dumb is rejecting the idea
because of some stupid prejudice. That

dumb.

I don't believe we have anything further
to discuss.

Thank you for your time. Don't mention
it.

Hello.

You didn't say what time. Is this okay?

Dinner. You did invite me to dinner,
didn't you?

Well, yes, Mr. Grant, but I can't
imagine after that scene in your office

you would think it's still on.

You never said it wasn't.

Do you mean to tell me you expect us to
sit down and eat dinner tonight after

that fight we had?

Mary, during World War II, everyone was
fighting, but we all kept eating.

Yeah, yeah, but you never sat down to
eat with the Germans.

They never invited me.

And you did.

What's for chow?

Chow is over, Mr. Grant.

Maybe for you, but not for me.

Mary, you invited me to dinner. You have
a sacred obligation.

You owe me food.

What do we have?

It just so happens, Mr. Grant, I have
nothing left. I have one piece of liver.

cooked it. I ate it.

Liver?

Well,

maybe you can make me something else.
How about an omelet?

No eggs.

Well, there's got to be something in
here you can whip up.

There's nothing in here.

When I told you, Mr. Grant, I was very
busy. I was going to do my shopping

tonight. Well, there's got to be
something around. Ah -ha!

Peanut butter.

Where do you keep the bread? No bread.

Saltines? No saltines.

No saltines? Do you call yourself a
woman?

You knew I was coming over here, didn't
you? And you hid everything. Oh, Mr.

Grant.

You know perfectly... well after that
argument we had over Barbara Jean

Smathers. There is no way... Barbara
Jean Smathers. Oh, the swimmer.

The ex -swimmer who I think would make a
sensational sportscaster.

Well, if you feel that way, why don't
you hire her? You got any jello?

You're saying that I can hire her?

Well, you are the producer, Mary.

Hey, any flavor. You don't even have to
cook it.

You're gonna let me make this decision.

Well, sure, that's part of a producer's
job, Mary, you know, hiring and firing.

If you feel this girl is good, why don't
you hire her? Why ask me?

You know, I can still smell that liver.

Wait, was it all crusty with flour and
bacon?

Uh, yeah, a little crusty, little flour,
little bacon.

Mr. Grant, let me get this straight.

You're saying that you'll let me
interview her and then use my own

Sure. Did you add just a touch of wine?

Yeah, just a little touch of wine. Oh,
Mr. Grant, thank you so much. You're

not... going to regret this. I'm going
to call Barbara Jean and arrange an

interview. You won't be sorry. Thanks so
much.

Hey, wait a minute. How about dinner?

No, thanks. I already ate.

What time does Barbara Jean do?

Any minute, as a matter of fact.

What's she coming up here for?

For an interview.

I've been looking at a lot of videotapes
of other shows she's done, and I'm very

impressed. I just want to talk to her
personally before I make up my mind.

Maybe I ought to check her out.

I don't think so, Ted.

Oh. Oh, I see no guys allowed, eh?

Just Mary in the wetback.

Yes.

Okay, Mary, I'll help get me in the
mood. Ted, she could come in here.

out of the pool.

Ted, I'm going to buy you a cup of
coffee, even though it might keep you

I'm Barbara Jean Smathers. Who's Mary
Richards?

I am.

I'm Mary. Hello, Barbara Jean. It's nice
to see you. This is Murray Slaughter.

Ted Baxter. Hi, fellas. Just call me BJ.

So you're the swimmer, eh?

I bet you're a pretty good floater, too.

I'm an ex -swimmer, Mr. Baxter, but I
want to be a newscaster now because I

think it's the highest and most noble
profession that anyone can aspire to.

But the real reason I want this job is
for the chance to work with one of the

legendary giants in the business. Oh, I
think you can teach me so much.

Young lady, I think you and I are going
to get along.

Get this, Murray.

Ted, you're not going to say swimmingly,
are you?

That was my word.

I always take my word for it.

Would you like the coffee?

Sure, thanks. Black, please.

You handled that very well.

You think he's the only Ted Baxter in
the world? Oh, I'd like to think so,

Thanks. I've done a little broadcasting
already, Mary, and I know the kind of

attitude I can expect from the men on
the staff. Well, that's good, because I

think you're not going to find it's any
different at this station. Oh, I don't

know. They've got a woman producer.

Besides, I understand how men feel.

Sports has been a man's private domain
for a long, long time, a place to get

away from women. I'm kind of a threat.

She never thought of it that way. But on
the other hand, women have a long

tradition of participating in sports.

Take the year 1931. Did you know that
most of the swimming medals that year

to a woman? Don't know her home.

Oh, Mr. Grant. I'd like you to meet B
.J. Smathers. This is Lou Grant.

Hi, Lou.

I am impressed. Do you follow women's
swimming?

I know a little bit about it. I keep
informed.

Well, you were very close, but wrong.

Well, Eleanor Holm won several that
year, but Helene Madison, she won the

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

I was just testing you.

Mr. Grant, I want to hire BJ.

Oh, you're the producer, Mary. It's your
decision.

Welcome to WJM. I hope you like working
here, and I got a tip for you. The first

tip. There's a guy I know just called
and said there's a rumor that they're

going to trade Fran Tarkenton.

Wow!

Thanks, Lou.

You know, in my last station, the men
wouldn't have given me the time of day.

Well, I think you'll find we're a little
different than your last station.

Good luck.

You know something?

He's terrific.

Yeah, he is terrific.

And so are you. You're going to be a
great sportscaster.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Mary, by the way, this Fran Tarkenton,
who is she?

Right after this word from our sponsor
with WJM's new sports lady, BJ Smathers.

Oh, Murr, I just hope I haven't made a
mistake.

Oh, relax, Mary. So the girl doesn't
follow the Vikings. So what? Oh, but

can someone cover sports without
understanding the complexities of

Well, why not?

Ted covers weather without understanding
the complexities of slush.

Night. Mr. Grant, you're not leaving.

Yeah, I thought I was too out of the
bar.

Well, what about BJ?

Mary, relax.

Whoever does the sports night has got it
made.

In addition to the rumor about Tarkin,
and there was a killer hockey game, a

double overtime basketball game, and a
baseball trade.

You couldn't have picked a better night.
I know, but still... And if I stick

around, it'll just make you more
nervous, and neither of us wants that.

So I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll
meet for dinner after the show, and you

tell me how it went.

Okay, all right. But listen, you come to
my place. I still owe you a dinner.

Yeah, yeah, you do.

Okay, but no liver.

I hate liver.

Here goes.

I'd like to introduce a new member of
the WGM news staff.

I know a lot of you out there are going
to ask, why have we got some dizzy chick

doing the sports?

Well, that's a fair question. I'd like
to take this moment to answer that.

It's our business. If you don't like it,
lump it.

Hello, Robert G. Smathers with the
sports.

Speed it up while you are a little
behind.

Thanks, Ted.

In the European Championship in Helsinki
today, Sven Norberg became the second

man this year to win back -to -back
titles in the men's 200 and 400 -meter

freestyle swimming competition with
times of 1 minute and 51 seconds and 3

minutes and 55 seconds.

Okay, she did that very well. Yeah, she
did. But why did she use that for her

lead story?

Uh, what about local sports?

Oh, I'm glad you asked, Ted. In St. Paul
this week, the Association of High

School Swimming Coaches met to design a
new code for pool safety.

She's giving high school swimming news?

Well, Murr, it's not just high school. I
mean, pool safety is important to us

all.

Anything else we take?

Oh, yes, Ted. This diving item just came
in. Diving item?

Diving item?

Yes, from Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

From Fort Lauderdale?

Where 11 -year -old Debbie Rothenberg is
on her way to winning the state three

-meter springboard diving championship.

Oh, that's very interesting, BJ. Now I
have to find it. It's more than

interesting, Ted. It's inspiring.

Well, I'm sure it is. Especially for
anyone who believes, as I do, that the

future of this country depends on
physically fit youngsters.

Well, that goes double for me, too. You
know, we hear a lot about juvenile

delinquency. I'd like to say... But when
I see someone like this 11 -year -old

girl practicing...

Day in and day out.

Time is almost up. With the dedication
it takes to become a diver.

Until tomorrow, then. And I'm not
concerned about the future of this

Here's to you, little Debbie, and always
remember... This is Ted Baxter

saying... Keep your knees straight and
that's back arching.

Raw fear.

Where did she get those eyes?

Not me. I gave her football, basketball,
and hockey.

Well, Murray, I told her. I told her she
had one minute, exactly 60 seconds, to

report all the sports and then let Ted
finish the show.

Oh, come on now, Mary.

Relax. It's her first time. She didn't
know any better. So what?

It's no big deal. Who cares? I want that
woman shot.

I'm the laughingstock of the entire
broadcasting industry.

What else is new?

Look at that.

I didn't get a chance to do the latest
side of the news or the editorial or the

plea for world peace.

Mary, if a war breaks out tomorrow,
don't blame me.

I want this thing settled right here and
now.

Well, Mary, how'd I do? Did I make you
proud?

Well, B .J. Right here and now, Mary.

B .J., I'll tell you what. Why don't you
and I meet later over dinner? I want a

chance to get some notes together.

Mary, I want this settled. All right,
all right. B .J., you and I can meet at

place in a half hour, and we'll talk
everything over then, all right? Sure,

sure, sure. Your chicks will get
together and laugh the whole thing off.

Ted, we two chicks aren't going to laugh
anything off. In the first place, I

happen to agree with you. In the second
place, I'm very upset about tonight's

show. And in the third place... In the
third place, you already invited Lou to

dinner.

So how did the sports guests go tonight?
Well, I... Fine.

Do you really think so?

Oh, yes. Fine, fine, fine. Fine.

How's that drink, Mr. Grant? Not scotch?

Oh, yeah, just right, Mary.

Tell me about the show.

How about some more water?

No, no, thank you. It's fine, fine,
fine.

So, how did you handle the North Stars
game?

Did you show that film of the fight
where...

When their goalie got 14th knocked out?
No, I didn't, Lou.

To tell you the truth, I think there's
enough violence on television, and

why I oppose contact sports on
principle.

You oppose contact sports?

Mr. Grant, would you like some dip?

By contact sports, you mean boxing,
football, hockey? Not just those. Will

look at the extent to which basketball
has become a vicious physical battle?

Basketball is vicious?

Mr. Grant, you know those saltines you
like so much. I bought them.

Mary, sit.

Lou, I think athletics in this country
has got to take a whole new turn, and

that's why I'm... What sports did you
report on tonight?

The rumor about Tarkington.

I didn't have time for that.

You didn't have time to report the
Tarkenden story? What were you covering?

Rothenberg story.

Lou, there's an 11 -year -old diver in
Florida breaking every record in the

she's found. Children's diving?

You left out Tarkenden for children's
diving?

I haven't had a chance to discuss it.
You want to cover sports in Minnesota

not mention the Vikings?

You know what you are?

You're cuckoo.

B .J., would you excuse us for just a
moment, please? And you're not fired.

She's not fired?

No, she's not. She's my responsibility,
Mr. Grant. B .J., if you don't mind,

would you please just lock yourself in
the bathroom until Mr.

Grant calms down?

Calms down? Mary, what do you mean by
countermanning me? A sportscaster won't

cover the Vikings. You've got to fire
her. No, I don't, Mr. Grant.

All right, I admit, B .J. made a poor
choice of items. A poor choice?

Children's diving over...

Point is, she showed great poise on
camera, delivered the news well. She had

personality. She looked sensational.

She did everything else right.

I just need to straighten her out.

Can't be done. Yes, it can, Mr. Grant.
Come on, you trusted me so far. Will you

just leave the rest to me?

I know how to handle people like B .J.
You don't.

Okay.

Okay.

It's your neck.

What do you want me to do?

Go home.

Without dinner?

I know, Mr. Grant. Please, it would just
make it easier if you don't mind.

No, I don't mind.

You know the nice thing about eating at
your place?

I never leave feeling bloated.

I should have talked about your mistakes
with you privately. What mistakes?

Well, you know what Mr. Grant mentioned
about leaving out all the violence.

Well, the basketball and the hockey and
so forth while devoting so much time to,

you know, swimming.

Mary.

Swimming is completely non -violent.
Yes, I know, I know, I know that. But

see, on the news... You don't
understand.

Swimming is respected all over the
world. Yes, of course, of course, it

is. But you see, Mr. Grant and I feel
that there are a lot of people who are

interested in those other sports, you
see. And, well, since we are the

of the news, we have to decide on the
content. So, BJ, I'm asking you, please,

just to try to make an attempt to do it
our way.

Well, you may be the producers of this
show, but nobody can make me do anything

against my conscience.

This is a principle with me, Mary.

I'm going to do the sports cast the way
that I think they should be done.

And if you don't like it, well, you're
just going to have to fire me.

What? BJ, hey, BJ.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on.

Listen.

Sit down.

Yes, Mary.

You're fired.

Come in.

Mr. Grant, I just want to say this very
quickly and get it over with.

I was wrong. I made a mistake.

I'm very sorry.

Okay?

Okay, Mary.

Is that it? You're not going to say
anything?

No, I don't plan to say anything.

That would demonstrate a lack of class,
and I like to think I'm capable of

taking the high road.

Well, I really appreciate that.

Lou Grant isn't an I -told -you -so
person.

I'm glad.

It'd just be too easy in a case like
this.

You stuck your neck out too far and you
flopped too badly.

Mr. Grant, is this the high road?

No, this is the preparation for it.

Now I'll take the high road.

I think you handle this whole thing in a
highly professional manner.

You do?

Yes.

Moreover, I think you struck a blow for
women's equality.

And I'm proud of you.

Well, thank you.

In what way?

Well, you proved that a woman deserves a
chance to be just as lousy in a job as

a man.

Well, that's right.

I did do that. And that another woman
has the right to make a rotten

decision and to hire that incompetent
woman who does such a lousy job.

Right. And that, having made that
dumb...

Stupid decision.

The second woman is still capable of
recognizing the fact that she's a dope

that the first woman who did such a
lousy, rotten, stinking job should be

for being such a total disaster.

I'm really proud of you, Mary.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Mr. Grant.

Hmm?

What's the low road?