All language subtitles for Mary Tyler Moore s06e07 Chuckles Bites the Dust

Who can turn the world on with her
smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it. Love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can have the time,
why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

Hello

people.

No, don't turn around, Mary. No, no.

I want you to close your eyes. Now, no
arguments. You just close your eyes.

all right, Sue Ann. She's seen you
without makeup before.

Oh, Mary.

I just hope my mind's still active when
I'm your age.

Here, close your eyes now. All right.

Now, you can open them.

Well, what do you think?

Can I close them again?

It's a free -form mobile representing
the four basic food groups. I used it on

special I did last week called What's
All This Fuss About Salmon?

I think it's just the thing to brighten
up your new apartment.

Oh, well, gee, Sue Ann, I'd have to
check the lease to make sure there isn't

regulation against, you know, hanging
food.

Well, I know you'll find just the right
spot for it.

I know. Why don't you put it in your
bedroom?

You must mean something in there to
relieve the tedium.

Hello, sir. Hello, sir.

Hi,

guys. Love your ring, Mary.

This is Ted Baxter saying happy days are
here again.

Well, did you make that up, Ted?

No, it's from some song.

I forget the name of it.

What are you so happy about?

The circus is in town, and they want me.

Oh, terrific, Ted.

Do you have to bring your own shovel?

So what happens? You want me to ride the
head of the parade. I'm this year's

grand marshal.

Would have had it last year, except for
that big, dumb, stupid basketball

player. Pleasant sports on Channel 8.

He made a fool of himself.

What happened?

Well, he got into the wrong car. He
squeezed into the little one with all

clowns and kind of wedged them all in.
They had to take the car apart so they

could get out. It sort of ruined the
effect.

Gee, it sounds like the Grand Marshal's
job has a history of disaster.

Yeah, well, this year they've got me.

I rest my case.

Nothing can bug me, Murph.

Nothing can spoil my day now that I'm
going to be Grand Marshal of the Circus

Parade. Forget it, Ted, you aren't.

What? I said forget it. My anchorman
isn't marching down the street with a

chimp. Tends to give him an undignified
image.

Oh, no, it won't give me an undignified
image.

I was talking about the chimp.

He's parking the car.

Oh.

How about the coffee?

Okay.

Mary, when Ted gets here, you've got to
talk to him. He's very upset.

Yeah, sure.

What about?

I don't know. He's too upset to talk
about it.

Well, then what makes you think he'll
talk to me?

I know he will, Mary. He said, I'm not
going to burden you with my problems.

It's just a bore to burden people with
their troubles.

Let's go see Mary.

Yeah, sure.

What's this?

It's a present from Sue Ann. It's a
mobile. I'm trying to find a place for

Why don't you put it in a mobile home?

Yeah.

What do you want me to do with it? I
don't know.

Mary, whatever it is with Father and
Ted, you'll have to worm it out of him.

likes to hide his true feelings.

Hey.

Hi, Ted.

Hi, Mary.

Ted, is something wrong?

I can never hide anything from you,
Mary.

All right, I'll tell you.

I'm leaving WJM.

Leaving? Why?

Because I'm not appreciated.

After giving seven years of the best
I've got, Lou still treats me like dirt.

Oh, come on. Treats me like a child,
Mary.

Oh, Ted, that's not true.

I mean, I'm sure maybe he bosses you
around, but he doesn't treat you like a

child. He respects you as a mature
adult.

Then why won't he let me go to the
circus?

I mean, that's a great honor, Mary,
being a Grand Marshal of a circus. A

honor.

The Grand Marshal rides ahead of the
elephants.

Well, Ted, for what it's worth, I think
Mr. Grant was wrong.

Then why don't you talk to him, Mary?
He'll listen to you. Maybe he'll change

his mind. Well, I'm afraid it's a little
late. I heard before I left the office

that the circus has already chosen
another grand marshal.

Already?

Boy, they don't waste any time, do they?

Who'd they get to replace me, the mayor
or the governor?

Chuckles, the clown.

Chuckles?

A kiddie show host?

A grand marshal of a circus, a clown?

Oh, Mary, I hate to say this, but I hope
they laugh at him.

Leaving 28 people condominium -less.

Big deal.

Now we're from one of our sponsors.

What's the matter with him? Oh, he's
still angry over Chuckles leading the

circus parade today instead of him. And
I'll tell you something more, I don't

blame him. Oh, come on, Mary. You're
going to be reasonable now, aren't you?

You're going to be fair and look at both
sides of things and see Ted's point of

view. I mean it, Murr. Do you know how
close Ted came to quitting his job over

this? Not close enough.

Mr. Grant!

Something terrible has happened.

What is it, Lou?

Someone we all know is dead.

What? Who?

No, I won't tell you about it now. I
don't want to upset you. Mr. Grant!

Where's Ted? I've got to tell Ted. He's
on the air. What happened, Lou? Who

died? Will you tell us?

Chuckles.

Chuckles the clown is dead.

There was a freak accident.

He went to the parade dressed as Peter
Peanut.

And a rogue elephant tried to shell him.

I gotta get this on the air. Before you
start working on the formal obituary.

Chuckles' real name was George.

His wife's name was Louise.

The elephant's name is Jucko.

We'll be back right after this
commercial.

Listen very closely.

Chuckles the clown was just killed.

He was dressed as a peanut and an
elephant crushed him.

Stop trying to cheer me up, Lou.

That's funny, but that's in bad taste.

Jim, it's not a joke.

You mean it? Yes.

Good Lord.

Now listen.

Murray is working on a formal obituary
for tomorrow.

You go on now and you'll just have to ad
lib something.

Well, I say I hardly know the man.

Well, sure you did. You knew him. You
were on his show.

Well, it's hard to know a man that's
chasing you around with a rubber

Ted, just say something short and simple
and warm.

You can do it.

We're counting on you.

Don't worry. I won't let you down.

Ladies and gentlemen, sad news.

One of our most beloved entertainers and
close personal friend of mine is dead.

Chuckles, the clown, died today from...
From, uh...

He died a broken man.

Chuckles leaves a wife. At least I
assume he was married. He didn't seem

the other kind.

I don't know his age.

Yeah, but I guess he was probably in his
early 60s. It's kind of hard to judge a

guy's face, especially when he's wearing
big lips and a light bulb for a moment.

But he had his whole life in front of
him, except for the 60 -some -odd years

already lived.

I remember Chuckles used to recite a
poem at the end of each program.

It was called The Credo of a Clown. I'd
like to offer it now in his memory.

A little song, a little dance.

A little seltzer down your pants.

That's what it's all about, folks.

That's what he stood for. That's what
gave his life meaning.

Chuckles like to make people laugh. You
know what I like to think? I like to

think that somewhere up there tonight,
in his honor, a choir of angels is

sitting on whoopee cushions.

This is Ted Baxter saying good night and
good news.

Shuggles worked for this station for 20
years. The least we can do is put

together some kind of tribute to him.
Well, I think I've got a title for it.

Requiem for a Peanut.

That isn't very respectful, Murray.

I'm sorry, Lou, but I can't help it.

I mean, I've been coming up with dumb
jokes about it ever since you broke the

news to us yesterday afternoon.

What a shock.

It sure was.

A real tragedy.

A terrible thing.

Lucky more people weren't hurt.

Lucky that elephant didn't go after
somebody else.

That's right.

After all, you know how hard it is to
stop after just one peanut.

That's not funny.

It's not nice.

Oh, I know.

Lou, why do I say things like that?

It's a release.

A kind of defense mechanism.

It's like whistling in a graveyard.

You laugh at something that scares you.

We laugh at death because we know that
death will have the last laugh on us.

That's very good, Lou.

It's not only good, it's heavy.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it
tolls for thee.

It tolls for thee.

Smoothly put, Lou.

Why does it toll for me?

Because this could have happened to any
of us, Ted.

Right.

Somewhere out there, there's an elephant
with your name on it.

Ah, now I couldn't. I wanted to go and
you wouldn't let me, remember?

Dad, it doesn't work that way.

You saved my life, Lou.

You saved my life.

Please, Ted, I feel bad enough today.

Oh, Ted, my car's being fixed. I wonder,
could I ride with you and Georgette to

the funeral tomorrow?

Sure, the more the merrier.

Dear, there's no point in duplicating
Enbridge.

I'll do the tribute to Chuckles this
afternoon on my show. No, no, Sue Ann.

peeling onions. My eyes will be too
puffy for anything else.

Sue Ann!

Why is everyone being so callous about
this?

Callous?

Well, I'll have you know, dear, that
Chuckles and I were very close.

I baked the first custard pie he ever
sat in.

Go on. Maybe callous is not the word,
but the man died.

And it seems to me the only people who
are showing any reverence around here

Mr. Grant and me.

Cut it out, Murray!

I can just see the insurance claim.

Cause of death, a busted goober.

I don't know what you two are laughing
at, but I'll take a chance at the dirty.

Murray, you're not still making jokes
about that.

It's a release, Mary.

People need it to get over a tragedy.
Everybody does it. I don't.

Now, shall we go over the tribute?

Oh, yeah, right.

That's a good idea. I took your
suggestion, Mr. Grant. I screened some

Chappell's old shows this morning.

Some of his best -known characters were
Mr. Fee -Fi -Foe, Billy Banana, Aunt Yoo

-Hoo, and, well, of course, Peter
Peanut.

Sorry. No, I'm sorry, Mary.

Well, that's perfectly all right, Mr.
Grant. The tribute was your idea.

if you think it's funny... No, no, no.
You're absolutely right.

The guy deserves a dignified farewell.

Exactly.

Okay, I thought what we'd do is show
some film of Chuckles at work and then

simply the words, as we remember him.

Oh, Mary, that's beautiful.

Yeah, that's nice. Really nice.

Yeah, that's a great idea, as we
remember him.

Who was Aunt Yoo -hoo?

Well, I don't think we'd want to use
Aunt Yoo -hoo. Why not?

What did he do as Aunt Yoo -hoo? Well,
not much. He just, uh, he put on a dress

and screamed, Yoo -hoo!

And at the end of the show, he turned
his little back to the camera.

Bend over.

On his bloomers were written the end.

Maybe they should bury him that way.

I give up. You win.

Chuckle's death was a scream.

Oh, come on, Mary. We're not laughing
because he's dead. I mean, we all like

them. We're very, very sorry.

Then why are you laughing?

Mary, dear, don't be... circumstances
strike you as being just a trifle

After all, the guy died wearing a peanut
suit, killed by an elephant.

Yeah. Born in a trunk, died in a trunk.

Just forget what he was wearing. Suppose
he hadn't been dressed as a peanut.

Would his death still be funny?

Could have been worse.

He could have gone as Billy Banana and
had a gorilla peel him to death.

Oh, thanks, Joanne.

Just paid a half buck to have my shoes
done.

It's a cream shine. I think that's what
he would have wanted.

Why do people always send flowers when
someone passes on?

What would you suggest, dear?

Fruit?

That's so sad.

Funerals always come too late.

I'm not sure I understand that, Georgia.

Well, I mean, we take people for granted
while they're with us. Then when we're

gone, we wish we'd been nicer to them.

So we dress in black and cry our eyes
out? Why don't we ever think to do that

while they're still with us?

Good question.

I wish I were nice to the Chuckles when
I had the chance.

I kind of looked down on them.

You know, being a clown and all.

I was prejudiced against him just
because his skin was different colors

mine.

Hi.

How much of a crowd is there?

If this were my funeral, it'd be packed.

That's right, Ted.

It's just a matter of giving the public
what they want.

I wonder which ones are the other
clowns.

You'll know soon.

They're all going to jump out of a
little hearse.

This is a funeral. A man has died. We
came here to show respect, not to laugh.

I'm sorry, Mary.

No more jokes.

My friends, any man's death diminishes
me because I am involved with mankind.

Therefore, ask not for whom the bell
tolls, it tolls for thee.

Hey, Louie, stole your poem.

Juggles the Clown brought pleasure to
millions.

The characters he created will be
remembered by children and adults alike.

Peter Peanut.

Mr. Fee Five -Four.

Billy Banana.

And my particular favorite, Aunt Yoo
-Hoo.

And not just...

Not just for the laughter that they
provided. There was always some deeper

meaning to whatever chuckles did.

Do you remember

Mr. Fee -Five -Foe's little catchphrase?

Do you remember how, when his arch
-rival, Señor Kaboom, hit him with a

cucumber and knocked him down?

Mr. Fee -Fi -Foe would always pick
himself up, dust

himself off,

and say, I heard my poo -poo.

From time to time, we all fall down and
hurt our food.

If only we could deal with it as simply
and

bravely and honestly as Mr. Fee -Fie
Foe.

And what did Chuckles ask in return?

Not much.

In his own words, a little song.

A little saucer, darling.

Excuse me, young lady.

Yes, you.

Would you stand up, please?

Please, please, won't you?

You feel like laughing, don't you?

Don't try to hold it back.

Go ahead, laugh out loud.

Don't you see, nothing would have made
Chuckles happier.

He lived to make people laugh.

Tears were offensive to him, deeply
offensive.

He hated to see people cry.

So go ahead, my dear.

Laugh for Chuckles.

Like such a fool, standing up there like
that. Mary, forget about it. Everybody

else did.

All in all, it was a very nice funeral.

All's well that ends well.

Coffee will be ready in a minute.

You know, it's the sort of funeral I
would want.

Oh, not me.

I want to be cremated and have my ashes
thrown on Robert Redford.

Me? Yeah.

I don't want anybody to make a fuss.

When I go, I just want to be stood
outside in the garbage with my hat on.

What kind of funeral do you want, ma
'am?

Well, all I know is I just don't want an
organ playing a lot of sad music.

What do you want them to play?

Everything's Coming Up Roses?

I'd like a nice, fancy funeral.

I mean, if I were going to die.

What do you mean, if?

I'm not going.

Why not?

How else are you going to be reunited
with your brain?

I'm not going to die. You see, I'm into
this thing where if I get sick, I mean

real sick, where I'm about to go, they
just take me away and freeze me.

And in about two or three hundred years,
when they find a cure for whatever it

was that made me sick, they'll just
unfreeze me.

Uh, Ted, when they freeze you, could you
do me a favor?

Sure, ma 'am.

Thank you.