All language subtitles for Mary Tyler Moore s06e01 Edie Gets Married
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1
00:00:08,910 --> 00:00:12,450
Who can turn the world on with her
smile?
2
00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:22,350
Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?
3
00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:25,750
Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.
4
00:00:26,270 --> 00:00:32,229
With each glance and every little
movement you show it. Love is all
5
00:00:32,229 --> 00:00:37,730
need to waste it. You can never tell,
why don't you take it?
6
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,980
You're gonna make it after all.
7
00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:48,800
You're gonna make it after all.
8
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,380
I was recognized seven times today.
9
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:12,658
Hi, Ted.
10
00:01:12,660 --> 00:01:13,660
Eight.
11
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:18,340
Is Lou in, Mary?
12
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,680
I know he's going to be a little late.
Oh, how come?
13
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He had a luncheon date.
14
00:01:22,220 --> 00:01:23,220
Luncheon date, eh?
15
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:24,839
Who is?
16
00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,940
Well, I'm sorry, Ted, but he asked me
not to say anything.
17
00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:28,920
Oh, well, I can guess.
18
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:30,840
A little rendezvous.
19
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:33,980
What difference does it make to me?
20
00:01:34,270 --> 00:01:37,190
who wants to sit in a candlelit
restaurant holding hands, sipping
21
00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:38,270
saying, I love you, I love you?
22
00:01:39,290 --> 00:01:40,710
Lord knows I've done it myself.
23
00:01:42,350 --> 00:01:44,550
Yeah, only you were alone at the time.
24
00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:49,470
Hello, all you darling people.
25
00:01:51,430 --> 00:01:55,550
I just came by to remind you all to stop
in at the studio tonight. I am cooking
26
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:58,630
an authentic dish from India that you
simply must taste.
27
00:01:58,870 --> 00:01:59,870
Beef curry.
28
00:02:00,130 --> 00:02:03,490
Oh, well, I... I hate to disillusion
you, Sue Ann, but in India, the cow is
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00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,190
sacred. They don't eat beef.
30
00:02:05,530 --> 00:02:07,810
Oh, well, they will when they taste how
I make it.
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00:02:08,669 --> 00:02:10,870
Oh, and Mary, tell Lou he's invited,
too.
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00:02:11,390 --> 00:02:13,990
Although I'm sure he has other plans.
33
00:02:14,690 --> 00:02:15,690
What do you mean?
34
00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:17,450
Oh, nothing.
35
00:02:18,210 --> 00:02:21,930
Except that I just saw him having lunch
with his ex -wife, Edie.
36
00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:29,090
I must confess, it baffles me why Lou
would want something he's already had
37
00:02:29,090 --> 00:02:30,090
he could have something...
38
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,300
Fresh and new and exciting.
39
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:39,640
I mean, why buy day -old bread when he
could have a beautiful cupcake piping
40
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:40,640
from the oven?
41
00:02:41,020 --> 00:02:44,020
Yeah, but how many times has it been
reheated?
42
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:59,160
Dear sweet Murray, I hope your sideburns
fall out,
43
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:00,200
too.
44
00:03:04,940 --> 00:03:05,940
taking Edie to lunch?
45
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,580
Because she asked him to.
46
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,540
Look, Murr, I really don't want to sit
around gossiping about it. Yeah, Mary's
47
00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:14,220
right. Just because the next wife wants
to take her husband to lunch is no
48
00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:15,620
reason why we should start spreading
rumors.
49
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:16,880
Right.
50
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:19,260
Poor slob must be falling behind in his
alimony.
51
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,800
Hey, everybody, look who's here. Edie!
52
00:03:23,140 --> 00:03:24,140
Hi!
53
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:28,100
How wonderful to see you. Gee, you look
terrific.
54
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:29,720
Thanks, Mary. How are you?
55
00:03:30,190 --> 00:03:32,830
great. It's nice to see you again, Edie.
Oh, thanks, Murray.
56
00:03:33,290 --> 00:03:35,410
I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
No!
57
00:03:35,770 --> 00:03:37,530
Lou insisted that I drop by.
58
00:03:37,970 --> 00:03:43,390
Edie, it's been more than two years now,
and I must say you look younger, more
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00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,090
radiant, more beautiful than I've ever
seen you before.
60
00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:48,030
I mean that sincerely.
61
00:03:48,790 --> 00:03:51,250
Thanks, Ted. That's very sweet. No, no,
no. I mean it.
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00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:54,290
You look a lot younger now than when you
were married to Lou.
63
00:03:55,990 --> 00:03:57,490
Well, there you have the good news,
everybody.
64
00:03:58,430 --> 00:04:00,650
This is the greatest news in the world.
65
00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:02,450
Guess what Edie just told me?
66
00:04:02,770 --> 00:04:04,150
She's getting married again.
67
00:04:04,950 --> 00:04:08,210
Well, congratulations, Edie. What a nice
surprise.
68
00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:11,010
Very happy for you. Oh, thanks, Mary.
69
00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:16,010
Isn't that wonderful? Edie's getting
married again. Best wishes for a long,
70
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:20,470
happy life, Edie. Thanks, Murray.
Congratulations, Edie. You know, like
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00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:22,650
says, love is lovelier the second time
around.
72
00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:25,690
Songs can be wrong, Lou.
73
00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:38,000
It's not like I still love her, Charlie.
74
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,580
I don't. That I'm sure of.
75
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,820
I don't love her, but I like her. Right.
76
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:47,700
Don't get me wrong. I used to love her,
but I don't now.
77
00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:48,980
Gotcha.
78
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:53,400
Now, I just like her, but I don't love
her.
79
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,100
You know what I mean?
80
00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:57,900
You like her, but you don't love her.
81
00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,560
That's it.
82
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:05,060
Mr. Grant, here you are. I've been
looking all over for you.
83
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,539
Are you all right?
84
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:07,720
Of course I'm all right. I'm fine.
85
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,540
I just wanted to get away for a few
minutes of peace and quiet.
86
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,000
I was trying to find a place where I can
be alone.
87
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:17,560
Why don't you tell me about it?
88
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:22,420
I found a place, Mary.
89
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,980
The only thing that's missing is the
alone part.
90
00:05:26,540 --> 00:05:30,380
Well, Mr. Grant, sometimes the worst
time to be alone is when you feel like
91
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,020
You know, I know with me, I always push
people away just when I need them the
92
00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:35,120
most. I don't.
93
00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:39,200
The only time I push people away is when
I don't want them around me.
94
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:42,720
Well, Mr. Grant, you don't fool me.
95
00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:47,800
You don't want to be alone. If you
wanted to be alone, you wouldn't be
96
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,040
here talking to me now.
97
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:57,220
Is it possible, Mr. Grant, that you feel
a little more for Edie than you're
98
00:05:57,220 --> 00:05:58,740
admitting? That's all over.
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00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,339
You're sure?
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00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:01,580
I'm proud of you. Ask anybody.
101
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,360
Hey, Charlie, how do I feel about my ex
-wife?
102
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,140
Likes her, doesn't love her.
103
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,820
See? No, that's not it.
104
00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:16,520
You know what's bothering me?
105
00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:19,840
What? I finally figured it out.
106
00:06:21,020 --> 00:06:23,940
After 23 years of marriage, Edie and I
got a separation.
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00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:27,540
Two years ago, we got a divorce, and now
she's marrying some other guy.
108
00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:29,440
Don't you see, Mary?
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00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:30,780
What?
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00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:33,320
Edie and I are drifting apart.
111
00:06:45,730 --> 00:06:46,950
Well, what's so funny, Ted?
112
00:06:47,470 --> 00:06:52,270
It's me and Ollie, the elevator men,
always tell each other these jokes. Oh,
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00:06:52,270 --> 00:06:54,790
got a really great one I'm working on.
I'm going to tell him tomorrow.
114
00:06:56,890 --> 00:06:59,250
Here, let me try it out on you. There's
just this little part I haven't figured
115
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:00,250
out yet.
116
00:07:00,450 --> 00:07:01,339
Knock, knock.
117
00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:05,280
Oh, Ted, look, no sane person is doing
jokes anymore that begin with... Knock,
118
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,300
knock. Who's there?
119
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,420
Anna Maria Alberghetti.
120
00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:12,740
Anna Maria Alberghetti who?
121
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:15,220
Oh, that's the part I haven't figured
out.
122
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,020
Mary, how's Lou today?
123
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:21,420
Oh, he's in a much better mood.
124
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:24,040
Oh, I sure hope you're right. He's been
impossible lately.
125
00:07:24,340 --> 00:07:27,300
You know, yesterday I had breakfast with
him. He got in an argument with one of
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00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,300
his waffles.
127
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,720
I can understand how he must have felt
finding out his wife was marrying
128
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:34,720
man.
129
00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:36,920
I had a similar experience once.
130
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:40,320
When I was a kid, I had this yo -yo.
131
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,420
It was a birthday gift. I never cared
much for yo -yos. I just kept it in my
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00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:46,420
drawer.
133
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:52,780
Then one day, this kid I know, Billy,
offered me a quarter for it, so I sold
134
00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:53,780
to him.
135
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,400
Well, you should have seen Billy with
that yo -yo.
136
00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:01,120
He could make it sleep, rock the cradle,
walk the doggy, you name it, he
137
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,360
could... I can't tell you how jealous
that made me.
138
00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:10,160
And I used to lay awake wondering what
new tricks he was teaching my yo -yo.
139
00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:16,900
You see?
140
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:24,840
Well, even when you don't want something
anymore, if it has belonged to you, you
141
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,220
still don't want anybody else to have
it.
142
00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:30,730
I mean, to this day, I feel badly about
selling my yo -yo.
143
00:08:31,870 --> 00:08:34,169
Well, look at it this way, Ted.
144
00:08:34,630 --> 00:08:38,409
That yo -yo was either lost or broken
many, many years ago.
145
00:08:39,130 --> 00:08:41,530
Meanwhile, you've still got the quarter.
146
00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:48,690
Hi, Edie. Hi, Ted.
147
00:08:49,410 --> 00:08:50,409
Edie, hi.
148
00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:51,410
Hi, Mary.
149
00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:54,430
Listen, I came by because I want to
invite you to the wedding.
150
00:08:54,850 --> 00:08:57,930
Oh. And while I'm at it, I want to
thank... Thank you for being the only
151
00:08:57,930 --> 00:09:00,530
Lou's friends that doesn't act awkward
when they see me.
152
00:09:01,170 --> 00:09:07,970
Oh, well, that's really... Isn't that
silly?
153
00:09:08,370 --> 00:09:12,050
The minute you mention awkward, I... You
understand.
154
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,010
Mary, here are all the figures on that.
155
00:09:15,630 --> 00:09:16,630
Edie.
156
00:09:16,910 --> 00:09:21,330
How are you? Fine, Lou. I just dropped
in to invite Mary to the wedding.
157
00:09:21,990 --> 00:09:24,190
Oh, yeah, hey, that's right. You're
getting married.
158
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:28,020
I tell you, I've been so busy around
here, I forgot all about it. Isn't that
159
00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:29,020
right, Mary?
160
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,860
Oh, yeah, that's right. He's been so
busy, he forgot that you were getting
161
00:09:32,860 --> 00:09:36,420
married. He mentioned it to me, that he
had forgotten.
162
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,320
You're looking good, Edie.
163
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:42,720
Thanks, Lou.
164
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:49,760
Listen, Lou, I don't know if it's
usually done, but I've thought it over,
165
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,040
I'd like you to come to the wedding.
166
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:56,380
It'd be a chance to show everybody and
ourselves that we're still friends.
167
00:09:57,860 --> 00:10:04,600
You know, Edie, it's sort of nice, you
inviting
168
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,880
me to the wedding.
169
00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:08,180
It's unusual.
170
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:11,340
Well, it's a hard thing to talk about,
Lou.
171
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:15,560
I didn't know how upset you were about
my remarrying.
172
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,260
Well, you know, for a...
173
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:26,060
A while there. I was having a hard time
getting used to it. Ask anybody.
174
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:27,300
Ask Murray.
175
00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:29,620
He was there when I had to fight with
the waffle.
176
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,140
I'm over it now.
177
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:35,920
I'm glad you're getting married.
178
00:10:36,460 --> 00:10:37,460
I mean it.
179
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:39,560
Thanks, Lou.
180
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:41,700
I'll be seeing you.
181
00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:42,960
Yeah. Yeah.
182
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:46,040
Bye, Edie. Bye -bye, Mary.
183
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:55,190
You know, Mary, something sort of
beautiful just happened here.
184
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,010
Edie just invited me to her wedding.
185
00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:05,030
Mary, would you mind answering this RSVP
for me? You mean you're going to the
186
00:11:05,030 --> 00:11:06,310
wedding? Of course I am.
187
00:11:06,610 --> 00:11:08,270
Right after I go to the Pope's wedding.
188
00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:18,070
Big A, what's going on?
189
00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:21,660
still upset about Edie getting married
tomorrow. He won't come out of his
190
00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:22,660
office.
191
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:25,540
Relax, I'll get him out. Ted, what are
you going to do?
192
00:11:25,820 --> 00:11:26,820
Just stand back.
193
00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:29,320
Ted, please don't do anything crazy.
194
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:30,940
Don't worry.
195
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:34,680
Who's there?
196
00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:36,040
Anna Maria Alberghetti.
197
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,520
Leave him alone, Ted. He'll come out
when he wants to.
198
00:11:42,540 --> 00:11:45,240
Poor Lou. He's like a little hurt child.
199
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,220
He needs mother.
200
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:53,230
I wish I could rush right in there now
and throw my arms around him and just
201
00:11:53,230 --> 00:11:54,230
him all over.
202
00:11:54,410 --> 00:11:57,110
Now, that takes care of your problems,
Sue Ann, but what about his?
203
00:11:59,990 --> 00:12:00,990
Hello, Mary.
204
00:12:01,450 --> 00:12:02,450
Janie! Hi.
205
00:12:02,590 --> 00:12:05,690
Oh, Janie, I'd like you to meet Sue Ann
Nivens. This is Mr. Grant's daughter.
206
00:12:05,910 --> 00:12:08,370
Hello, Janie. How nice to meet you.
207
00:12:09,370 --> 00:12:11,370
I'm sure your father's told you all
about me.
208
00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:13,770
Lou, I'm sorry. I don't remember that he
has.
209
00:12:14,590 --> 00:12:15,590
Well, he should have.
210
00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:17,050
You're old enough.
211
00:12:25,740 --> 00:12:26,740
The wedding tomorrow?
212
00:12:26,820 --> 00:12:27,820
I think so.
213
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:31,700
Daddy? Dad?
214
00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:36,420
Mr. Grant, it's your daughter.
215
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,000
Hi.
216
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,640
Come on in.
217
00:12:50,860 --> 00:12:53,360
How are you? Fine. How's it going, Dad?
218
00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:57,250
and they told me you locked yourself in
the office.
219
00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:00,870
Yeah.
220
00:13:01,670 --> 00:13:06,070
Say, how's that terrific guy you were
going with, Larry?
221
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:08,089
We broke up.
222
00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:09,090
Thank God.
223
00:13:11,330 --> 00:13:13,470
I came to ask you to come to Mom's
wedding.
224
00:13:13,810 --> 00:13:20,070
I'm sorry, honey. I can't. I feel out of
place. I wouldn't know what to say to
225
00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:21,430
her or to the guy.
226
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,690
What's he like, anyway?
227
00:13:25,230 --> 00:13:26,230
He's average.
228
00:13:26,470 --> 00:13:27,510
But he's good looking, huh?
229
00:13:28,110 --> 00:13:30,010
Average. Is he tall, short?
230
00:13:30,870 --> 00:13:33,910
Average. I knew it. Your mother's made a
guy right off the rack.
231
00:13:36,970 --> 00:13:39,210
Come on, honey. You can tell me the
truth.
232
00:13:39,950 --> 00:13:42,130
You're just trying not to hurt my
feelings, right?
233
00:13:42,370 --> 00:13:43,349
No.
234
00:13:43,350 --> 00:13:45,170
Well, you want to know something?
235
00:13:46,190 --> 00:13:48,950
I hope this Howard's the greatest guy in
the world because that's what your
236
00:13:48,950 --> 00:13:49,950
mother deserves.
237
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:53,050
Will you come to the wedding? Honey,
please. Honey, Mom, she really thinks
238
00:13:53,050 --> 00:13:54,570
be better for you and her if you come.
239
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,350
No, I can't. For me?
240
00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:57,630
Janie, please.
241
00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:00,310
I'm telling you, he's average.
242
00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:07,950
High average or low average?
243
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,480
Well, maybe I'll drop by.
244
00:14:20,140 --> 00:14:22,020
Thanks, Daddy. I'll see you then.
245
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:24,780
Hey, wait a second.
246
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,780
There's something I meant to ask you.
247
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:38,800
Not that it really matters, but this
guy, Howard,
248
00:14:39,060 --> 00:14:43,900
that your mother's marrying, you're not
going to call him Daddy, are you?
249
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:45,760
No, I promise.
250
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,920
You'll always be the only one I call
Daddy.
251
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:49,580
I'll call him Pops.
252
00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:54,420
I'm kidding. Look at you. I can't even
tease you anymore.
253
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:59,520
Oh, yeah, sure. Hey, you can tease me. I
knew I was being teased.
254
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:02,300
Good tease.
255
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:05,899
Bye, Daddy.
256
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:07,640
Bye -bye. Bye -bye, Mary. Bye, Katie.
257
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,220
What time should I pick you up for the
wedding?
258
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,080
You're going?
259
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,600
Hmm?
260
00:15:19,060 --> 00:15:20,060
Surprised?
261
00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:24,380
Mr. Grant, I don't want to butt in. It
has nothing to do with me.
262
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,260
Well, that never stopped you before.
263
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:33,780
Come on, why are you surprised? Really,
Mr. Grant, this is your very personal
264
00:15:33,780 --> 00:15:35,680
thing. It has nothing to do with me.
265
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,360
It involves your deepest, innermost
feelings.
266
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:43,240
Not for me to get involved in. The last
thing in the world you need is my
267
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:44,240
advice.
268
00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:45,540
Sit down, Mr. Grant.
269
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:53,600
Look, going to an ex -wife's wedding is
a wonderful gesture, you know, for a
270
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:57,680
sophisticated, worldly, with -it -today
kind of guy.
271
00:15:58,220 --> 00:15:59,220
That's me, Mary.
272
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:02,260
No, Mr. Grant, that's Sonny Bono.
273
00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:13,830
woman who shared your life with you for
23 years promised to love another man. I
274
00:16:13,830 --> 00:16:15,690
just don't think he can take it.
275
00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:17,670
Can't take it?
276
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:21,750
Can't take it?
277
00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:24,510
Sit down, Mary.
278
00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:28,130
I'm going to tell you a little story.
279
00:16:28,510 --> 00:16:29,710
That's what I figured.
280
00:16:30,830 --> 00:16:33,890
I'm the last guy in the world you say
can't take it to.
281
00:16:35,390 --> 00:16:36,810
When I was in basic training,
282
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,360
It was this Corporal Hoffmeyer.
283
00:16:39,980 --> 00:16:41,100
Jerkface Hoffmeyer.
284
00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:43,760
Six foot three, 230 pounds.
285
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:48,000
For some reason, Jerkface had it in for
me. Who knows?
286
00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:50,560
Maybe it was because of the way I
looked.
287
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,180
Maybe it was because of where I came
from.
288
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,700
Or maybe it was because I was the one
who gave him the nickname Jerkface.
289
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,740
Well, in any case, Jerkface kept picking
on me.
290
00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:04,440
One day...
291
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,880
He challenged me to come to the gym and
put on the gloves with him for five
292
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:08,880
rounds.
293
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:12,319
Oh, Mary, that was so funny.
294
00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:18,579
First round, jerk face comes out. He
starts dancing around, dancing around.
295
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:19,680
Jack, Jack, Jack.
296
00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:24,740
Then, when he's got me watching out for
his left hand, he slams me with the
297
00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:26,119
right hand right to the kidneys.
298
00:17:27,859 --> 00:17:30,520
Did you ever get hit in the old kidney?
299
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,300
Not in years.
300
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,140
Let me tell you something, Larry. It can
hurt.
301
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,040
So I doubled over onto the canvas.
302
00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:46,540
When I looked up, there was Jerkface
standing over me. He sneered at me and
303
00:17:46,540 --> 00:17:49,700
said, Can't take it, huh, Grant?
304
00:17:50,780 --> 00:17:54,960
So I got up and started fighting again.
305
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,500
Then he hit me with everything he had.
306
00:17:58,100 --> 00:18:00,180
Lefts, rights, uppercuts.
307
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,700
And I crashed to the floor in a stoop.
308
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:10,360
front teeth were missing, my nose was
bleeding, my jaw was broken, and again I
309
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,700
hear, can't take it.
310
00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:21,740
Six times I went down, six times I got
up, but I lasted the whole five
311
00:18:21,740 --> 00:18:22,980
rounds, Mary.
312
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:31,500
When it was over, there I was, sitting
in my corner.
313
00:18:35,389 --> 00:18:37,110
Bleeding. In agony.
314
00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:40,150
You got the picture?
315
00:18:40,530 --> 00:18:41,530
Lord, yes.
316
00:18:47,130 --> 00:18:53,870
And if I can take that kind of beating,
do you really believe
317
00:18:53,870 --> 00:19:00,330
that some little, insignificant wedding
is going to hurt me?
318
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:01,430
Yes, I do.
319
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,740
So do I, but I already promised the kid.
320
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,340
Oh, Edie looks beautiful.
321
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:37,120
Yeah.
322
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:43,580
Howard, on the other hand, is, uh...
Jerk face.
323
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:53,580
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to
join together this man and this woman in
324
00:19:53,580 --> 00:19:56,040
matrimony, which is an honorable estate.
325
00:19:56,360 --> 00:20:00,760
It must be taken lightly, reverently,
soberly.
326
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,240
And with discretion.
327
00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:04,280
Howard's losing his hair.
328
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:10,100
Howard Gordon, do you take... Yeah, it's
really blowing his feathers.
329
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,160
I have a lot more hair than he does.
330
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,300
Oh, listen, you can get anything to have
a head of hair like yours.
331
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:23,000
His head looks like half of a bottomless
dancer.
332
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:30,060
To love and to cherish.
333
00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:31,760
Till death do you part.
334
00:20:32,140 --> 00:20:33,140
I do.
335
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:38,180
And do you, Edith McKenzie, take Howard
Gordon to be your wedded husband, to
336
00:20:38,180 --> 00:20:44,160
have and to hold, or better for worse,
or richer or poorer, in sickness and in
337
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,720
health, to love and to cherish, till
death do you part?
338
00:20:48,620 --> 00:20:49,620
I do.
339
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:50,720
The ring, please.
340
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:56,720
She did it, Mary.
341
00:20:58,250 --> 00:20:59,250
He said I do.
342
00:21:00,630 --> 00:21:01,630
I know.
343
00:21:03,490 --> 00:21:04,790
And I didn't fall apart, did I?
344
00:21:06,110 --> 00:21:07,270
No, you didn't.
345
00:21:09,070 --> 00:21:10,070
Say it, Larry.
346
00:21:11,330 --> 00:21:12,730
Luke Grant can take it.
347
00:21:14,070 --> 00:21:15,230
You can take it.
348
00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:21,430
By the virtue of the authority vested in
me by this saint, I pronounce they are
349
00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:22,650
husband and wife.
350
00:21:23,310 --> 00:21:24,590
You may kiss the bride.
351
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:44,500
Say,
352
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:46,480
Mary, I want to say something to Edie.
353
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,560
Oh, you're going to do that, too?
354
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,080
Yeah, yeah.
355
00:21:59,370 --> 00:22:00,730
glad you came, Edie.
356
00:22:02,270 --> 00:22:03,850
Many years of happiness.
357
00:22:04,170 --> 00:22:05,350
Oh, thanks, Mary.
358
00:22:06,510 --> 00:22:07,510
Hello, Lou.
359
00:22:08,450 --> 00:22:11,210
Thanks for coming, Lou. It meant a lot
to me.
360
00:22:12,090 --> 00:22:13,090
Are you kidding?
361
00:22:13,330 --> 00:22:15,150
I came to your last wedding, didn't I?
362
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:19,690
Good luck, Edie.
363
00:22:20,530 --> 00:22:21,530
Thanks, Lou.
364
00:22:23,250 --> 00:22:24,250
So long.
365
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:39,360
All the best to you.
366
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:11,960
Mary, you need a drink.
367
00:23:12,420 --> 00:23:13,420
I think so.
368
00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:15,220
What would you like?
369
00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:17,980
Champagne cocktail.
370
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,320
That's what I like about you, Mary.
You're sad but classy.
371
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,280
By the usual, Charlie.
372
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:27,680
Hey, Mary. Hello.
373
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:29,440
What are you guys doing here?
374
00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:33,000
Well, we figured you'd be coming in here
after the wedding, and we just wondered
375
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,000
how you'd be feeling.
376
00:23:34,260 --> 00:23:36,920
Oh, I'm doing okay, but, uh...
377
00:23:40,650 --> 00:23:41,650
You didn't catch the bouquet?
378
00:23:45,950 --> 00:23:48,570
No, I'm okay. I'll be fine.
379
00:23:48,850 --> 00:23:53,310
Not only will you feel fine, but would
you believe in about ten seconds, you're
380
00:23:53,310 --> 00:23:55,150
going to be laughing hysterically.
381
00:23:55,630 --> 00:23:57,950
He's figured out an ending for his knock
-knock joke.
382
00:23:58,990 --> 00:24:01,950
Hey, who wants to do it with me? Murray,
you want to do it with me? I'm so happy
383
00:24:01,950 --> 00:24:02,950
you asked.
384
00:24:03,290 --> 00:24:06,370
Okay, now remember, when I say knock
-knock, you say who's there. I know my
385
00:24:06,370 --> 00:24:07,370
part, Ted.
386
00:24:11,630 --> 00:24:14,450
This better be a pretty funny knock
-knock joke. I lost a wife today.
387
00:24:19,170 --> 00:24:20,170
Knock -knock.
388
00:24:21,070 --> 00:24:22,070
Who's there?
389
00:24:22,990 --> 00:24:24,650
Anna Maria Alberghetti.
390
00:24:25,950 --> 00:24:27,710
Anna Maria Alberghetti who?
391
00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:30,230
Anna Maria Alberghetti in a taxi.
28373
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