All language subtitles for Mary Tyler Moore s05e04 Lou and That Woman

Who can turn the world on with her
smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it. Love is all I

to waste it. You can never tell, why
don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after...

What brings you in here early on such a
rotten day?

I am choosing colors. Mr. Grant has
finally, finally allowed me to

the office. No kidding.

Yeah, and you know how he is. He hates
any kind of changes, wants everything to

stay the same.

Walls, furniture.

Salaries.

Anyway, after three years, he's finally
agreeable.

You know something? He's agreeable to
almost everything these days. Oh, yeah?

Something certainly is pleasing him.
Yeah.

Or someone.

Hey, Murray.

seeing somebody?

I don't know, Mayor. I don't know.

Hey, that's an interesting color. What
do you call that?

Red.

Murray, come on. You can tell me.
Please, tell me. You know how bad you

keeping secrets. Yeah, well, I'm not
doing bad on this one, Mayor. Murray,

I'm sorry, Mayor. Wild horses wouldn't
drag this out of me.

Hi, guys.

Oh, wild jackasses for that matter.

She's mighty like a... You're in a good
mood, Lou.

Why, thank you, Ted. It must be the
weather.

Mr. Grant, what color would you like for
your office?

Oh, something spring -like, Mary.
Something for a man who feels 25 years

younger. How about khaki?

I'll leave it entirely in your hands.
Surprise me.

Isn't that terrific?

Guess you heard about the great romance,
eh?

Kind of funny, though.

Lou chasing after some dumpy middle
-aged spinster. Oh, come on. You didn't

she's like that.

Well, who else would go out with Lou?

As if he were the heartbreak kid.

You know, it is funny, Mayor. Lou having
a schoolboy crush.

I'll bet she wears a checkered apron and
likes to make fudge.

You're the schoolboys, both of you,
giggling, acting jealous.

surprised at you, Murray.

How come you're not surprised at me?

Women always notice.

No, no, I didn't at first until you
said, you know, did you notice? And

course, I took a closer look.

What do you think? It's velvet.

It's nice.

Nice? Very nice.

Groovy.

Groovy? You don't usually use that kind
of word. You don't usually wear that

kind of jacket.

You going somewhere special?

I've got a date.

What's the matter? Did you ever see
anyone sing into a mirror before?

Oh, yeah. Ted sings to his all the time.

Mostly, and this is my beloved.

So, you got a date, huh?

Yep.

Is it anyone I know?

No.

Known her long?

Week. What's she like?

Nice. What's she do?

Work.

Well, I'd love to meet her. She sounds
fascinating.

Yeah.

She's terrific.

I really don't look right in a
turtleneck, do I?

Oh, well, I... It's the ears. I don't
have the right ears for a turtleneck.

I think you look fine.

I look like a turtle.

Well, listen, I'd love to have the two
of you drop by sometime.

Okay, when?

Oh, anytime.

Oh, Mary, when people say anytime, they
don't mean it. That's the last thing

they do mean. Oh, no, I do mean it.
Really, please, drop by sometime.

I'd love to meet her.

Okay, you'll like her. Okay, good.

Say, oh, Lou, great thread.

What's that odor?

Smells like burnt rubber.

It's my aftershave lotion, Ted.

Meet Charlene McGuire.

Wow.

Hi. Oh, wow. It's just fine.

Gee, did we catch you just going out?

I'm sorry. We shouldn't bust in on you
this way. Come on, Lou. We ought to go.

Why should we be sorry? She said to drop
by any time.

Well, here we are.

So come in, please.

I was just under my sink.

Here, here, here. Let me take a look at
that.

I'm usually good at that kind of thing.

That'll give the two of you a chance to
get acquainted.

Oh, thank you. Oh, come in. I hope
you'll forgive my appearance.

Why, I think you look terrific.

Yeah, I think gloves are really elegant
for evening, don't you?

Can I get you a drink?

Stay there. I'll get it. You two get
acquainted.

Listen, believe it or not, these are my
work clothes.

I sing and play piano at a bar called
The Quarter Note.

Oh, well, Mr. Grant never actually,
uh...

Gee, you know, it's funny. I had a
different picture of you all together.

I mean, I somehow, I just figured that
you'd be... Younger. No.

Older. No.

No, I just, I guess I just, you know, I
never pictured Mr. Grant going out with

anyone quite so musical.

Right.

Here you go.

First I fix the drink, then I fix the
sink.

You know, Mr. Grant, don't bother with
that. Come on and join us.

No, no, you two are just getting
acquainted.

You two are getting acquainted, aren't
you? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, oh, you bet. Oh, good.

I'll just go knock the sludge out of
your trap.

Listen, be careful. It's really dirty in
there. You don't want to ruin your new

turtleneck. Gee, do you think there's a
chance?

I take it you don't like it much either,
huh?

Oh, are you kidding? I love it. Tonight
was like being out with a 200 -pound

bumblebee.

You're a pianist, huh?

Wrong. Horowitz is a pianist. I'm a
saloon singer.

In fact, that's where I met Lou.

He came in one night, he put a dollar in
the brandy snifter and asked me to sing

The Navy Gets the Gravy, But the Army
Gets the Bean.

Well, that stumped me.

And after 12 years on the road with a
band and three marriages, I don't stump

easy.

What band were you with? Is it one I
know? Well, did you ever hear of Jimmy

Dorsey? Sure. Yeah?

Well, no one in this band had.

Well,

good morning, Sue Ann.

Hello, Mary.

Are these our decorating plans?

No, these are my decorating plans.

Dear, I'd hate to see you become a
laughingstock.

Oh? To begin with.

Nylon carpeting.

Mary, you're just kidding.

Aren't you? Say you're kidding.

No, as a matter of fact, I was pretty
serious. I like it. Look, Marie.

Nylon carpeting.

Must be the way she tells it.

And another thing, dear.

No one has used Danish modern chairs
since 1959.

Oh? What do you suppose they're sitting
on in Copenhagen?

Frankly, dear, I don't even like to
think about it.

Murray, guess what? Last night I met
Charlene, Mr. Grant's girl, and she is

simply fantastic.

Oh, yeah? Really. Well, what makes her
so fantastic?

Well, all right, maybe fantastic is a
silly word. Let's just say one of the

warmest, nicest, most interesting people
I've ever met.

And they say eavesdroppers never hear
good of themselves.

about you. I was talking about Charlene.
Charlene? Mr. Grant's girl.

How come you never think my chicks are
interesting?

What's so interesting about Charlene?

Well, it's just it's hard to know where
to start.

I mean, we... Well, to give you an
example, she was on the road with a band

she was 16 years old.

And one of her husbands pitched in both
major leagues.

Can you imagine?

Oh! She was the only girl on a marine
base in Korea. How about that?

She had us up until two this morning. We
were laughing.

Mary, you want to get that painter's
estimate for me? Oh, yeah, sure.

Boy, Lou, that sounds like some gal.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's something.

You old son of a gun.

You know, I never pictured you with a
band singer.

Well, what's wrong with a band singer?

Nothing. It's great.

Look, when I was a bachelor, that was
worth two nurses and a stewardess.

Hey, on the road when she was 16.

Isn't that against some kind of law?

Not if she's legally married to the
trombone section.

Hey, Lou, how many husbands does she
have?

What's the difference?

Yeah, right. Beyond a certain point,
what's the difference?

Married to a ball player, huh? No, uh,
okay. Well, I bet it didn't take a

long to get to first base.

Billy never strikes out with her.

Come on.

I'll bet she's really teaching him about
our national pastime.

Here you are, Mr. Grant.

Oh, by the way, would you and Charlene
like to come to dinner tomorrow night?

Uh... No, I don't think so, Mary.

Oh. Thanks anyway.

Well, what about some other night?

Uh...

I'll see you, Mary.

I'll see you.

Who is it?

Charlene McGuire.

Oh, come on in.

Mary, good morning. Is it too early?

Hi, no.

Come in.

I figured, well, with your hours and my
hours, this would be the only time that

we could really talk.

I didn't know people really got up this
early. Once you get used to it, it's

really a beautiful time of day.

Oh, yeah.

What's that funny smell?

Oh, it's the bacon, I guess.

You're going to eat?

Now?

Well, yeah.

Sure, breakfast.

You're going to eat all that?

Well, it's just that I think breakfast
is the most important meal of the day.

Oh, yeah? I always thought that was hors
d 'oeuvres.

Listen, excuse me for just busting in
like this. No, really, I'm delighted.

Would you like a cup of coffee? Oh, that
I could handle.

You know, I was hoping I'd see you
again.

Yeah, me too.

I don't know what's gotten into our
friend Sophie the bear.

I was hoping maybe you'd know.

Uh, me? Why? Well, because you've known
him longer.

Is it really like him to just turn off
on people?

Break dates?

Not return calls?

No, it isn't. It's not like him at all.
Usually... Mary! What?

You're not going to eat cereal and eggs.

Oh, well, yeah, protein. You know, just
minimum adult eating requirement.

Mary, I know I can't call you my friend.

Oh, yeah, you can. I'm your friend.
Well, then what happened? Well, my guess

that somebody said the wrong thing about
you to the wrong people.

Oh, come on. Who would do a lousy thing
like that?

Your new friend.

Anyway, I guess I was just dumb enough
to talk about your life to people who

don't know you the way I do. And they
convinced Lou that a girl who had been

around was no fit companion for a boy
who had. Well, yeah, something like

that. Yeah.

Well, that's life.

Silly, isn't it? But that's life.

Mary, what was that? What?

That bell.

I didn't hear anything.

Mary, a timer just went off and you...
Corn muffins?

Mary, dear, I'm afraid I'm going to have
to put my foot down about Venetian

blinds in the cafeteria.

They're nothing but dust catchers. It's
terribly unsanitary.

Well, I'm sorry, Sue Ann, but you'll
have to admit that the curtains that

there before were pretty bad.

Now, Mary.

I'm sure you weren't aware when you said
that that I designed the curtains that

were there before.

So I'm just going to pretend you didn't
say that.

I think that's part of being adult.

Learning to overlook the all -too -human
errors that each of us is prone to.

That's why I'm not going to say one word
about that cruddy wallpaper in the

men's room.

Of course not.

I went as somebody's guest.

Mary, the paint in my dressing room is
wrong.

But, Ted, you picked it.

I asked for rose. That's pink.

Pink is no color for a man.

Pink is for girls.

Blue is for boys.

Ted, flesh -colored walls needn't look
naked.

Let's think bold. How about hanging
plants and throw rugs?

How about hanging... and throwing
plants.

Mary, I cut this out of a magazine.

It might give you an idea of the way I
like my dressing room to look.

Ted, that's the Sistine Chapel.

Ted, I can give you just six minutes of
top -level aesthetic expertise.

Then I have to go dunk my fritters.

Oh, Murray, why does everyone complain
to me?

Why do I get all the flack? Yeah, you're
in charge.

Besides, Lou hasn't been out of his
office all day.

He won't read copy. He won't make
decisions.

He can't even choose what color to paint
his office.

And the whole thing is so silly. I mean,
here he finally meets somebody he

really cares about.

He lets a little dumb talk ruin
everything.

You know, somebody ought to go in there
and tell him if he breaks up with

Charlene, he's crazy.

Well, that's true. Taste is a very
personal matter.

In 50 years, we'll all be dead.

Well, yes, seen in the larger sense,
that is true.

So what's the difference?

Well, the difference is that the
painters are going to be here tomorrow,

still haven't chosen a color.

Okay.

Black.

Funny -looking turtleneck, seeing that
dumb song, wearing that smelly

lotion. What ever happened to him?

He was too beautiful to live.

Why did you stop seeing Charlene?

Mary, she's not for me.

Why?

I just can't see myself with that sort
of woman.

Sort of woman.

I can't discuss the sort of woman she is
with the sort of woman you are. That's

the sort of woman she is.

Oh, no, wait a minute. This is crazy.
Are you telling me that you're breaking

with Charlene because she's known some
other men?

Yeah, that's what I'm telling you.

Well, I just, I can't believe that you
could be that petty and that narrow

-minded and shallow.

Sure I can.

some other men?

Not some other men. Lots of other men.

Well, what's the cutoff point, Mr.
Grant?

I mean, is there some number? You know,
I'd really like to know.

How many men is a woman allowed to have
before she becomes that sort of woman?

Six.

I washed my hands of the entire matter.

Six?

Life is just a voluntary.

Don't take it serious.

It's too mysterious.

You work, you save, you worry so.

But you can't take your dough when you
go, go, go.

Keep repeating, it's a berry.

The strongest oak must fall.

The sweet things in life. Help yourself.

To you, we're just lone.

How you doing? So how can you lose what
you've never owned?

Looking good.

Life is just a bowl of cherries. I guess
you're wondering why I haven't called.

So live and laugh at it all.

Thank you very much.

Yeah,

Lou, in answer to your question, I have
wondered why you didn't call. I'll tell

you straight out.

Excuse me, this is personal.

Okay.

Here it is.

I'm going to lay it on a line.

You've led a lot more active life.

than anyone I've ever known.

And it was throwing me.

But that's all over now.

I don't care about your past.

I don't care how many guys you've been
with.

Four?

Five?

We've got to look at today.

The present.

Clean slate. Fresh start.

Next case. What's new?

I said this was personal.

So, in other words, what you're trying
to say is you forgive me. Yes.

That's it.

I forgive you.

Lou, go home.

What do you mean?

I mean goodbye.

Boy, you made me love you. Let's show
these kids us old timers can sing, too.

You made me love you. I didn't want to
do it. I didn't want to do it.

I got to tell you the truth.

Whatever... Whatever I was saying before
about your past, forget it.

Forget it.

It's not your past that's bothering me.

It's my past.

I haven't even got one.

I guess... I was trying to tell myself
that...

You weren't good enough for me.

The truth is, I was afraid

that I wasn't going to be good enough

for you.

Good enough?

Lou, I have a feeling.

You're going to be the best thing that
ever happened to me.

Really?

Really.

Why?

Give me, give me, give me, give me what
I cry for.

Hey, no.

That I cry for. Hey, come on, Charlene.
People are watching.

Those walls are pink, Mary.

That's not rose.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

That paint is all wet, Ted. And so are
you.

Mary, Charlene calls. Tell her I'm in a
meeting. I'll call her right back.

Charlene, the band singer?

You're still seeing her, Lou.

That's right, Charlene.

And I'm going to go on seeing her.

She just happens to be one of the most
terrific ladies I've ever met.

And if anybody doesn't like it, that's
just too bad.

And don't you two forget it.