All language subtitles for Mary Tyler Moore s05e03 You Sometimes Hurt the One You Hate

Who can turn the world on with her
smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it, love is all alone,

need to waste it. You can never tell,
why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after long.

You're gonna make it after long.

election between Henderson and
McCullough the next few hours, we'll

story. It's up to the voters now.

Well, that's the last item, and we still
have 30 seconds.

Oh, no. You mean Ted's going to have to
ad lib?

No.

As a reporter, I'm supposed to remain
neutral.

I'm supposed to have an opinion, but
since we do have a few moments, let me

say this.

You're crazy if you don't all vote for
Henderson.

between you and me in the lamppost, I
hear that McCullough is a pretty shady

character.

This is Ted Baxter saying good night and
good news.

That is the most unprofessional thing
Ted has ever done.

You know, I think we all need a long
vacation.

Right, you're right.

Well, I've got a week coming. What can
you do in a week?

Well, outside of creating the world and
resting, nothing.

believe it?

Endorsing one candidate and libeling the
other on the air?

What happened in there?

I just threw Ted out of the studio.

Threw him out? You mean you fired him?
No, I mean I grabbed him and threw him

through the door.

Mr. Grant, how could you do that?

I know, I feel terrible.

Just the slightest change in trajectory,
I could have thrown him out the window.

You know, I think he means it. I think
he really did that. Yeah, probably.

So what?

Yeah, but that's Lou's nature.

He's a hawk, you're a dove, Ted's a
cuckoo. Murray!

That's not a joke.

I'm sorry.

Hey, Mayor, what's the matter?

Well, it's just the thought of someone
being physically injured. I just don't

like it. I never have. It's bothered me
since I was a kid.

A girl I know broke her leg and I had to
go tell her mother.

Murray, I began to stammer for ten
minutes.

All I could do was stammer at her. I
mean, there she was, and then there I

and she... No, steady.

Steady.

Somebody ought to go in there and tell
him he can't go around throwing people

through doors.

Well, I'd love to do it, ma 'am, but I'm
afraid he'd throw me through the door.

Mr.

Grant, I know that your conduct is none
of my business.

None.

That's all over and done with.

Once I saw Ted smash through that door,
waving both arms and screaming, the

kind of inner peace descended on my
soul.

Well, that's what I wanted to talk to
you about. Never bear a grudge, Mary.

If you're steamed, do something about
it.

And afterwards, it's forgiven and
forgotten, see?

No. No, I don't. Physical violence never
settles anything.

Physical violence...

has settled every war in history, all
football games, most prize fights, and

several marriages, I can think of.

But that's not the point. I am talking
about you. All right, Mary, talk about

me.

Mr. Grant, you're one of the nicest
people I know. You're good, and you're

and we all respect you, but you've got
this violent streak in you, and it

people. I mean, it even scares me.

Oh, come on, Mary, I'd never belt you.

bad temper, and one of these days you're
going to hurt somebody.

I didn't hurt Ted. I barely touched him.

Smashed through that door, waving both
arms and screaming?

I just made that up.

I talk tough, Mary, but I don't hurt
people.

Come in.

I don't think I can come into work
tomorrow.

I can't move my head.

Ted, I'm so sorry.

It's not your fault, Lou.

It happened after you threw me. I
skidded into the cigarette machine.

Well, they told you it was hazardous to
your health.

I've got to get to a doctor.

Forget the doctor. You're going to the
hospital. Here. Come on.

Lean on me and I'll help you down to my
car.

Oh, I didn't think I'd make it to the
car. That's too far.

All right. Don't worry. Don't worry.
I'll carry you to my car. Hello.

Be gentle.

Yes.

What do you mean I can't carry you? It's
too heavy for you. Why? Here. Hey, use

this table.

It'll just make me heavier.

It's got wheels.

Oh.

Lou, Mary, tell the gang I said my last
words were, I want the news to go on.

Lou, how are you feeling?

You know the old expression, Mary, only
when I laugh.

Is there anything we can do?

Oh, no, no.

Georgette was by my side all morning.

She read to me and fed me and gave me a
sponge bath.

I fluffed up my pillows. I finally sent
her home.

Yes, you're starting to get on my
nerves.

Boy, private room.

It's really nice.

You know, when I first came here, they
put me in a ward.

You know how I got this room?

The ward pitched in?

Lou insisted.

He said he'd pay whatever the cost.

It's the least he can do.

Well, I've got to meet Marie. Don't get
up, Ted.

Thanks for coming, Murr.

And say, thanks for the candy. How'd you
know it was my favorite kind?

I didn't. I just wanted to give you
something to show you how I really feel

about you.

Good old Myr.

Want a jawbreaker, Myr?

Why, I appreciate the flowers, too.

Oh, well, you know, sick room, hospital,
traditional.

Yeah. I don't know why people just don't
give the cash.

store and got the stuff you wanted. Oh,
well, it's not for me, you know, but you

never know when my little nephew may
come to visit. What'd you get?

Got your Parcheesi and your Chinese
checkers

and the little game that you shake and
make the little balls roll into the...

The clown's nose? No, no, they're out of
that, I asked. No, this one, you shake

it and the little balls form the outline
of a duck.

I never tried that one before.

Yeah, well, I imagine it works on pretty
much the same principle as the clown's

nose.

Hi, old buddy.

Hi, Mary.

Hello, Mr. Grant. How very nice of you
to drop by.

Say, you're not still mad at me.

Well, I really don't think this is the
time or the place to discuss that.

But I want to know.

But don't you think you should chat with
Ted?

Why should I chat with Ted? I like you
better.

Don't mind me. This is better than
television.

So, how are you feeling?

Well, not bad.

I'm not complaining.

A guy learns to live with constant pain.

Gee, I'm sorry, Ted.

Here, I brought you some flowers.

Well, I already have some.

Oh.

Say, I wonder if there's someplace I
could put these.

Beats me.

That's okay.

What the heck?

I'll just stand here and hold him.

That way Ted can enjoy him while we
chat.

Well, Ted, I think I'll be running
along.

Oh, don't leave now, Mayor.

I've got everything but the one web foot
and the beak.

No, no, Ted, I don't want to tire
someone who's been through as much as

have.

So what do the doctors say?

Well, they say I'm a lucky guy, Lou.

Not too many people survive an accident
like that.

You mean just being thrown out? No, no,
no. Four -car collision.

Huh?

I had to make up something, Lou.

I didn't want anyone to think you did
this.

Oh, yeah.

And they say you're lucky?

I'll say.

Boy, if the fire had hit the gas tank,
it would have been curtains for sure.

Well, if there's anything I can do.

No, no, no, no. I mean it. Anything.

You just ask. Ask me for anything.

How about a glass of wine?

Here. Here. Take a glass of wine.

Okay. Wait a minute. How about a cube?

Yeah. Let's put a cube in there.

There you go.

Remember, for what I did to you...

I'd be happy to do anything.

Anything?

Anything.

Would you sign my neck brace?

Would I sign your neck brace?

Of course I will.

Sign it to Ted Baxter, the world's best
anchorman.

Baxter, the world's best

anchorman.

For whom... For

whom I will do anything.

I...

How

do they expect me to rewrite a snow
bulletin when it's like a furnace in

Why are you rewriting a snow bullet?
Well, Ted says that when he reads a snow

bullet, then he wants people to shudder.

I try to explain that all his newscasts
have that effect.

Hey, since when do you let Ted tell you
how to write your copy?

I guess I'm feeling sorry for him
because, well, you know, he's working

handicap.

Although that never bothered me before.

Who fooled with the thermostat?

would be a nice conservation gesture to
turn it down to 85.

Murray, you mustn't turn down the
thermostat.

Ted should be in a warm place.

Someday, if there's any justice.

switch, isn't it? Me getting autographs
from ordinary people.

Well, they are my public.

Takes a lot of gut to let them get that
close to your throat.

Oh, Lou!

Lou, can I use your phone to make a
couple of calls?

What's wrong with your phone? Oh, okay,
okay. Want me to use your phone?

No phone, no phone, no phone.

The doctor says I shouldn't climb any
stairs to my dressing room, but you say

phone, no phone, no phone, no phone.

Dad!

Here's the phone.

Thanks, Lou.

I think I have our weather bulletin.

Sleet and high winds to be followed by
the biggest snow job in history.

Gee, that's a terrific -looking chair,
Lou.

I wish I had one like this in my
dressing room.

Come on, what's wrong with a chair in
your dressing room?

Oh, that's right. You never get down
there, do you?

Then why should you?

Why climb all those stairs?

All you have to do is go directly into
the studio from this office.

Ted, what do you want from me? You want
me to give you my office? Is that what

you want? Oh, no, Lou. I don't want you
to give me this office.

I want you to share it with me.

Share my office?

Yeah, sure. Why not, Lou?

All it would take is a little chair
right over there. You wouldn't mind

in a little chair, would you, Lou?

Ted? Oh, Ted?

It's all right. It'll pass. It's just a
little spasm. They always go away.

Okay, Ted.

You can share my office. But only until
your neck gets better. It'll be

wonderful. We'll be roommates.

new feature on the show.

You knew what?

Three minutes at the end of every show,
Ted Baxter speaks out on the important

issues of the day. You know, like Eric
Severide?

Except when I do it, you'll be able to
understand it.

No, no.

No, Ted, I don't think it'll work. Why
not, Lou?

Murray could write it. Mary could come
up with some ideas.

Something I've wanted to do all my life,
Lou.

No, Ted.

I really don't care for her. Oh, come
on, Merle. Let me try just this once.

And if you don't like it, you can do
what you always do.

You can pick me up and throw me through
a door.

Oh, boy, someday this turned out to be,
huh, Merle? Oh, the worst.

You know, it's bad enough I have to
write one opinion spot for that.

But I had to write three so he can
choose.

You know something, Murray? Remember
that little girl I told you about in

grammar school, the one who broke her
leg? Oh, yeah.

You know, I just realized something. She
used people, too.

I mean, everybody carried her books for
her, opened doors for her.

The teacher felt so sorry for her, he
made me switch parts with her in the

Christmas pageant.

He made her the sugarplum fairy.

I got to be half a camel.

Yes. No, he's still here.

Yeah, he's here, too.

We'll be right in.

You guys weren't slipping out already,
were you?

Slipping out? Ted, it's after eight.

I finally came up with a title for my
new spot.

A Piece of My Mind.

Well, if they can split an atom, why
not?

Now all I need is a topic for my first
editorial.

Ted, we already gave you three.

Industrial pollution, runaway prices,
and political spending.

Okay.

Nothing personal, guys, but... Boring.

Boring. Murray, they're all safe
subjects.

Everybody's done them.

I want to go after the real sacred cows,
like single women.

What about single women?

How come they let you buy them dinner if
they don't expect any action?

Ted, you can't do an editorial because
you keep striking out.

Mr. Grant is never going to allow that.

Kids, trust me.

I'm the honcho on this project.

I'll handle Lou.

Ted, don't you think that you're
carrying this thing just a little too

Look, I know it's late. We're all tired.
What do you say we go get some coffee

and we'll talk about it, huh?

Oh, gee, I'd like to, Mary, but I've got
a date.

And you two have got an awful lot of
work to do.

I wonder where he got the picture.

Where else?

His wallet.

Here you are, Mr. Grant.

I made you an after -dinner drink.

Thank you, Mary.

What are you up to?

Well, since when do I have to be up to
something just because I asked you over

for dinner and a few drinks?

I just want to know why you're trying to
ply me with alcohol.

Ply you with alcohol?

You know, that's really kind of
insulting.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mary. I didn't mean to
insult you.

Oh, forget it.

Here, let me freshen that for you.

Okay.

I do want to have a talk with you. Okay,
but don't feel you have to lead up to

it. Shoot.

Right. Just shoot. Just lay it on the
line straight out. Okay. Here it is.

you want.

Shoot you're going to get.

Mr. Grant, before I say this... Mary.
Yes, okay, you're right.

Leading around the bush, which I've
always thought was a really dumb

you know? Okay, Mr. Grant, I don't...

Suppose that you remember a discussion
that we had.

It was about Ted, Owen violence, and
your being gentler of... I

don't suppose that you remember any of
that, do you?

Every word.

It's probably the most memorable thing
you've ever said to me.

How'd you like to forget it?

I don't understand.

Mr. Grant, Ted is getting away with
murder.

The old Mr. Grant just wouldn't have
stood for that.

No.

The old Lou Grant would have yelled and
bullied and scared poor Ted half to

death. I know, I know.

I don't get this.

First you come to me, you tell me, Mr.
Grant, you have a violent nature, so you

must try to change.

So after considerable soul -searching, I
change. I become what you see now.

A gentle, tolerant, peace -loving, non
-violent pussycat.

Then, then you come to me tonight and
you tell me you've decided you like me

way I was.

Well, no, Mary.

I've got something to tell you.

I like the way I am.

And this is how I intend to stay.

A gentle, tolerant, peace -loving, non
-violent pussycat.

So you just better get used to the new
Lou Grant, Mary.

From now on, I'm going to be the
warmest, sweetest, nicest, most

considerate, understanding human being
you ever met in your life.

I don't think I like you anymore.

This goes now to the states for
approval.

In order for the bill to pass, it must
be ratified by two -thirds of the 48

states.

Oh, two more.

Correction, make that four -thirds.

Now we present a new department.

A piece of my mind.

What's he doing? I don't know. He wrote
it himself.

Tonight... A piece of my mind examines
big business versus the little man.

Now, for years, the little man's been
taking it on the chin.

Well, good news, my friends. Today, the
tables are turned.

Ted Baxter, the reporter who wouldn't be
intimidated, announced a lawsuit for

$250 ,000 against station WJM for gross
negligence.

What?

He's suing his own station.

On the air.

I want to make one thing clear. I don't
include producer Lou Grant in this

action.

Now, Lou can't be responsible for
everything that goes on at his station.

And I know Lou joins me in hoping this
suit teaches a certain station that

safety isn't something to be trifled
with.

When Mr. Baxter finishes the news...

Have him step into my office.

What are you doing?

Just getting the ambulance warmed up.

Oh, Ted, Lou would like to see you in
his office. Right.

Say, Mayor, what did Lou say about the
show?

Oh, he... Speechless, huh?

good scare out of the station.

Dad, look into my eyes.

Sure, Lou.

What do you see there?

Oh.

Oh, I wasn't really going to go through
with it, Lou.

I was just going to worry them a little
bit, you know.

Use it for leverage. Get a little more
vacation.

You've got just 20 seconds to take down
those pictures while your face still

resembles them.

I wasn't going to ask for a lot of
vacation.

It's been a couple of weeks and my neck
got better.

I'm feeling practically fine, Lou,
thanks to your chair and your office.

I don't need any vacation.

Weekends, Lou.

Holidays and my birthday.

I'm going down to my dressing room now
to work on tomorrow's show.

Everything go all right in here?

Yeah, it went all right.

Mr. Grant's office.

Yes, this is Mr. Grant's office.

No, it is no longer Ted Baxter's office.

Yes, I'm sure.

You're very welcome.

Who was it? Ted.

And the great thing is, Mary, I never
laid a hand on him.

Good for you, Mr. Grant. And don't you
feel better that you were able to convey

to Ted that you were angry and who was
boss without resorting to violence?

Yeah, I feel a lot better.

Right. Mary, would you do one little
thing for me? Yeah, sure.

Get a hold of building maintenance and
tell them I need a new door.

Right.

Uh, Mr. Grant, what's wrong with this
door?

As soon as you leave, I'm going to put
my fist through it.