All language subtitles for Mad About You s07e13 Virtual Reality II

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,680 Again? 2 00:00:34,650 --> 00:00:36,490 Can stop my heart as much as you. 3 00:00:36,850 --> 00:00:41,330 Let's take each other's hand as we jump into the final frontier. 4 00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,350 I'm mad about you, baby. 5 00:00:52,550 --> 00:00:53,550 Oh, 6 00:00:55,310 --> 00:00:56,910 you perfectly little round pancake. 7 00:01:17,479 --> 00:01:18,740 Just a second! 8 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,380 May I not eat a pancake in peace? Okay! 9 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,080 What's the use? 10 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,220 Thank you very much for your patience. 11 00:01:30,580 --> 00:01:31,760 That's awfully nice of you. 12 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,300 What? 13 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:35,160 What? What are you? What's the matter? Are you depressed? 14 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:36,680 No, I'm not depressed. 15 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:37,720 You're wearing a robe. 16 00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:42,420 So? But depressed people wear robes. There are people who just want to eat 17 00:01:42,420 --> 00:01:45,740 pancakes. Pancakes? Hey, get away from the pancakes. I'm very much looking 18 00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:46,740 forward to the first bite. 19 00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:48,859 That's good. 20 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:50,500 Yeah, I'm sure. No, no, no, no. Taste. 21 00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,520 No, it's ruined now. Why? 22 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,000 The first bite. 23 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,160 Pancakes are all about the first bite. 24 00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:57,460 Taste. 25 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:58,560 Huh? 26 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:00,420 Huh? 27 00:02:01,390 --> 00:02:02,390 It's all right. 28 00:02:03,110 --> 00:02:05,130 Come on, Paulie, cheer up. Here, how about this? 29 00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:07,690 I will buy you an IHOP. 30 00:02:08,449 --> 00:02:09,449 And what is this? 31 00:02:09,810 --> 00:02:11,550 Symtech Corporation, you don't remember? 32 00:02:11,790 --> 00:02:12,930 You don't recognize his name? 33 00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:14,750 Symtech? Yeah. Symtech? 34 00:02:15,770 --> 00:02:17,450 Wasn't that the tailor and fiddler on the roof? 35 00:02:19,230 --> 00:02:21,470 Your virtual reality investment, you remember? 36 00:02:21,890 --> 00:02:22,890 Are you kidding me? 37 00:02:23,150 --> 00:02:28,130 No, you have been paid back, pal, and then some. Oh, I would say so. Hey, this 38 00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:29,130 is nice going. 39 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:30,800 This is beautiful. 40 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,780 Isn't it? This is going right into the bank. 41 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,600 Oh, that's good. 42 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:36,700 That's prudent. 43 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:37,920 That's wise. 44 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,720 How would you like to make ten times that in the next five years? You know, 45 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:42,760 had the time, I would, but I don't. 46 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,460 All right, forget about it. It's not like I was not spot on right the first 47 00:02:46,460 --> 00:02:47,179 time, correct? 48 00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:49,940 But never mind. You know what? You keep your money, and when this other thing 49 00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:53,520 turns huge, I will be retired for the rest of my life, and you, my friend, 50 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:57,300 be in your robe trying to explain to Mabel why she cannot go to camp. Fine. 51 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:03,200 I... Ooh, pancakes. Who made those? 52 00:03:03,540 --> 00:03:04,540 The pancake fairy. 53 00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:05,860 That guy from the Food Channel? 54 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,840 I made pancakes. 55 00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:09,918 Oh, man. 56 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,400 What? What is with you people? 57 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:14,900 What? He thinks we're depressed because we wear robes. Are we depressed? 58 00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:16,239 No. 59 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:17,620 We're not thrilled, but we're not depressed. 60 00:03:18,540 --> 00:03:19,640 So, Ira, how's Melissa? 61 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,160 Oh, man, she is so good. Melissa? I know not of Melissa. 62 00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:24,119 New girlfriend. 63 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,520 Really cute, really smart, really fun, really likes me. Yeah? So what's the 64 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:28,520 catch? 65 00:03:28,690 --> 00:03:31,550 None? No, there's always a catch. Listen, every woman on the earth, no 66 00:03:31,550 --> 00:03:32,730 how great, there's always a catch. 67 00:03:32,950 --> 00:03:33,888 What was my catch? 68 00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:34,890 You had none. 69 00:03:36,990 --> 00:03:39,470 So, James, what do you think of this? 70 00:03:41,770 --> 00:03:42,770 SimTech Corporation. 71 00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:44,490 Our virtual reality investment? 72 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:45,649 Yes, ma 'am. 73 00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:46,650 Mine like a steel trap. 74 00:03:47,450 --> 00:03:48,450 This is ours? 75 00:03:48,470 --> 00:03:51,650 Yes. Ira, oh, my God, you are a very savvy young man. 76 00:03:51,910 --> 00:03:54,570 Thank you. So what do you think we should do? Take the money and run or 77 00:03:54,570 --> 00:03:57,830 over? Roll it over. Listen to her. Roll it over. What do you think? 78 00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,600 What did he ask? What is he, Charles Schwab? 79 00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:04,120 One time, five years ago, he lucked out. He doesn't know. James, thank you for 80 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,360 your confidence in me. You've earned it. This money should go right under our 81 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,600 pillow. Yeah, what's the pillow paying these days? About seven and a half 82 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:10,600 percent? 83 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,960 Okay, James, check out the latest. 84 00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:17,540 The SimTech Life Predictor. Uh -huh. See, what this is, is a very powerful 85 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:19,060 computer that predicts the future. 86 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:23,160 Okay. Right under the pillow this is going. No, no, no. It's all based on 87 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,880 mathematical probability. You just plug in the pertinent information, and it 88 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,460 shows you your future within a very small margin of error. 89 00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:33,360 My God, man. This thing could change the world. 90 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,440 I know. No more famine, because we'll see it coming. No more pestilence, 91 00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:38,460 whatever that is. 92 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:42,780 People will be saved from oppression. Plus, I will know Chick's phone numbers 93 00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:43,780 before I even ask him. 94 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,960 I want to go see this thing. No, sweetie. 95 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,520 No, we have a child. We have a responsibility. If we fall into some 96 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:55,020 don't just spend it. You put it away. That's the whole... You see this look 97 00:04:55,020 --> 00:04:56,020 you're giving me now? Yeah. 98 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:57,360 That is your catch. 99 00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:06,200 Okay, guys. I would like you to meet Zach Grunfest. 100 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:08,280 Hello, Zach. 101 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,040 Nice to meet you. Pleasure to meet you both. 102 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,860 Zach is the inventor of the life predictor. Wow. 103 00:05:13,349 --> 00:05:16,550 Look at this. When I was your age, I was still playing with my Magna Doodle. 104 00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:18,570 Hey, hey, hey, don't talk like that to a minor. 105 00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:23,630 Mr. Buckman, the computer world is replete with boy geniuses. I'm just the 106 00:05:23,630 --> 00:05:24,630 in the crowd. 107 00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:27,350 Replete means... A lot of them. A lot of them. 108 00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:30,670 So, Zach, you must be very proud of all this. 109 00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:31,950 Well, it's my life's work. 110 00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:37,350 Zach, just between us, and this goes no farther. 111 00:05:38,590 --> 00:05:40,230 This doesn't really work, does it? 112 00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:43,270 Well, I invite you to judge for yourselves. 113 00:05:43,850 --> 00:05:44,850 All right. 114 00:05:45,530 --> 00:05:46,810 What do we do? 115 00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:49,730 Well, first you have to answer the computer questionnaire. 116 00:05:50,010 --> 00:05:53,130 Okay. Then let the wall cameras take a set of photos of you. 117 00:05:53,350 --> 00:05:57,310 All right. And then all you've got to do is ask the computer a question and wait 118 00:05:57,310 --> 00:05:58,750 to see if its prediction will come true. 119 00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:01,610 Have fun, you two. Yes, enjoy yourselves. See you later. 120 00:06:02,130 --> 00:06:03,009 Thank you. 121 00:06:03,010 --> 00:06:04,350 All right, here we go. 122 00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:06,790 Height, I'm going to say six foot four. 123 00:06:07,490 --> 00:06:08,530 Weight, 150. 124 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:12,550 It's not going to work if you don't tell it the truth. I'm telling the truth. 125 00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:14,450 16 inches. 126 00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:16,650 Collar size. 127 00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:20,350 Fears and affinities. 128 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:22,350 Sexual preferences. 129 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:41,140 Great Expectations. You never even read Great Expectations. I started it, and I 130 00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:42,240 thought it was very well written. 131 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,520 Guess that's it for the photos. 132 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,460 All right. Well, now what happens? 133 00:06:55,420 --> 00:06:56,379 Something's happening. 134 00:06:56,380 --> 00:06:57,900 Roll hands to the Fiesta deck. 135 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,040 Hi, 136 00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:05,760 how you doing? Wow, she's hot. 137 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,820 I'm Paul and Jamie Buckman of number 5 East 12th Street. 138 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:11,480 Hello. 139 00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:14,900 I'm Simulated Jamie and this is Simulated Paul. 140 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,440 Yes, how do you do? I'm Paul Buchman. 141 00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:21,960 I beg you not to lie on the questionnaire. 142 00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:25,920 My darling, you're a vision in grey on grey. May I escort you to the Trocadero? 143 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:26,839 Oh, here's the redo button. 144 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:30,020 If I wanted to marry Cary Grant, I would have married Cary Grant. 145 00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:42,940 Hello. There we are. Paul, Jamie, what would you like to know about your 146 00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:46,840 You ask, we answer, everyone goes home happy. Tweety, they know the drill. All 147 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:47,840 right, sir. 148 00:07:48,540 --> 00:07:49,900 We don't sound anything like that. 149 00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:54,100 What should we ask them? Will the Harlem Globetrotters ever lose? 150 00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:55,380 Paul! 151 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,340 Just, anytime you're ready, just type away. 152 00:07:58,660 --> 00:07:59,660 Simulated, Paul. 153 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,000 Oh, this thing's good. 154 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:06,320 Okay, if we go to lunch at Ritz, what will happen? 155 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:14,340 Oh! Shocking man! Shocking man! Oh, where's the poster? Okay, we're gonna 156 00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:15,960 it on the internet and show you how to do this. 157 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:18,240 Oh, my God. 158 00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:20,140 Breadstick. Oh, you're welcome. 159 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:21,900 I'm happy to help. Here. 160 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:26,760 Well? 161 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:31,470 Okay. Okay, first of all, I would never be as lame as that in an emergency 162 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:35,150 situation. Okay, then you won't mind going to lunch and finding out. I would 163 00:08:35,150 --> 00:08:38,650 terrific. And, you know, in seventh grade health class, Mrs. Mendel, I saved 164 00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:41,350 resuscitation Annie, like, I don't know, three times a week. In fact, it was... 165 00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:42,350 For the future. 166 00:08:46,430 --> 00:08:47,430 See, honey? 167 00:08:47,530 --> 00:08:48,530 Same booth. 168 00:08:48,730 --> 00:08:49,890 Honey, there's only two booths. 169 00:08:50,270 --> 00:08:53,350 And by the way, your life predictor's prediction for this next booth didn't 170 00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:54,350 exactly come true. 171 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:55,750 Just give it time. 172 00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:00,160 My cousin, the most skeptical man on Earth. I think a certain amount of 173 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:04,320 skepticism is called for. Thank you. Melissa did the computer profile last 174 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,600 Yeah, I'm still not sure that I believe in it. Well, thank you, Melissa, for 175 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:08,600 your good common sense. 176 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:12,180 And may I say, everything Ira said about you is true. 177 00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:13,359 What'd you tell him? 178 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:14,540 I raved a little bit. 179 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,180 Hey, hey, Chippy. 180 00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:17,640 What do we have here? 181 00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:18,980 Wow. 182 00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:20,620 Uh -oh, these kid breadsticks. 183 00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:24,200 What did I tell you, huh? Does a guy have to actually asphyxiate for you to 184 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,200 believe? 185 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,280 Excuse me, sir. 186 00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:37,460 Yes? 187 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:40,920 You okay? 188 00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:43,400 Yeah? Sorry. 189 00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:48,080 So, Melissa, what do you do? 190 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,340 Oh, well, I teach at a school for underprivileged children. 191 00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:53,140 It's incredibly rewarding. 192 00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:57,360 Wow. And when you're not working? I read a lot. I work out religiously. 193 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,640 And I'm a pretty big sports fan. 194 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,760 Unbelievable. Ask her anything. 195 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,120 Baseball, football. 196 00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:06,860 All right, Joe Namath's backup on the 1970 Jets would be... Al Whittle. 197 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,400 You're right, there's a woman without a catch. 198 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,940 Well, not exactly. No, no, you are. 199 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:14,960 No, no, I'm really not. 200 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,200 Hey, what do you mean? 201 00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:21,550 Ira, there's something that I've been meaning to tell you. It's been on my 202 00:10:21,590 --> 00:10:24,550 and I just don't feel right going another second without telling you. 203 00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,210 It's okay. 204 00:10:26,310 --> 00:10:29,510 Believe me, whatever you have to tell me, I'm sure we can work through it. 205 00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:33,370 Ira, I've decided that I'm going to become a man. 206 00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:40,970 I'm going to have an operation and become a man, and you will be my next 207 00:10:40,970 --> 00:10:42,150 relationship as a woman. 208 00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:47,270 Yes, it is. 209 00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:56,380 Oh, thanks. 210 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,980 Breadstick. Oh, you're welcome. Oh, 211 00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:01,800 I was in a lot of trouble there. 212 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,900 You're okay now? Yes, I'm okay. 213 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:08,420 My name is Jim Weaver. Hi, Jamie Buckman. Wait a minute, Jim Weaver, the 214 00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:09,560 agent? Yes. 215 00:11:09,950 --> 00:11:12,930 Wow, it's a great pleasure. You know who this guy represents? 216 00:11:13,270 --> 00:11:16,450 Evander Holyfield, Shaquille O 'Neal, Brett Favre, right? 217 00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:19,650 It's my pleasure. You know, I never get recognized. 218 00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:21,390 She's a big sports fan. 219 00:11:22,970 --> 00:11:24,690 Allow me a small gesture of gratitude. 220 00:11:25,030 --> 00:11:27,890 We're having a party tonight at the St. Regis for Mark McGuire. 221 00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:29,229 You are not. 222 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,229 Yeah. 223 00:11:30,230 --> 00:11:33,790 Mark McGuire. Uh -huh. Look, it's going to be a lot of fun, so why don't you 224 00:11:33,790 --> 00:11:35,830 come by, okay? You have a drink, you meet Mark. 225 00:11:36,330 --> 00:11:38,450 You keep me away from the breadsticks? I think we should. 226 00:11:39,790 --> 00:11:41,310 That's very nice of you. Thank you. 227 00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:44,630 So, how do you feel about the life predictor now? 228 00:11:45,710 --> 00:11:46,950 Take it away, Zach. 229 00:11:47,330 --> 00:11:51,110 Our money is your money. You are a genius. 230 00:11:52,570 --> 00:11:56,010 Thank you. And may I say, this is money well spent. 231 00:11:56,330 --> 00:12:01,510 Okay, what will Melissa be doing two months from now? 232 00:12:14,540 --> 00:12:16,540 That's just what you want, a woman who can read a defense. 233 00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:18,600 I cannot take this personally. 234 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:23,000 James, you know, you think as you get older, you can see stuff coming. You 235 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,920 what, Splinky? I think this party is going to cheer you up. You think I 236 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:26,719 bring Melissa? 237 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,540 You know, listen, no matter how good a time you show her, you may not be able 238 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:30,540 change her mind. 239 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,960 Listen, I'm as romantic as the next guy, but I got to tell you, once she becomes 240 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,820 a quarterback, the sex is going to change. 241 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,400 Thank you. I know that. 242 00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:43,280 I'm not trying to change her mind. I just want to give her a good send -off 243 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:44,280 woman, you know? 244 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:48,830 I mean, I feel a responsibility to make sure that she has a positive last female 245 00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:51,710 experience. Yeah, oh, no, right. Because you don't want her talking trash about 246 00:12:51,710 --> 00:12:52,710 you in the locker room. 247 00:12:53,210 --> 00:12:54,870 You're a very honorable man. 248 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,150 Thank you. 249 00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:58,710 Because, you know, this is new turf for me. I know. 250 00:12:58,990 --> 00:13:01,830 Tomorrow she and I are going shopping. We're looking at Adam's apples. 251 00:13:03,710 --> 00:13:04,710 Okay. 252 00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:10,290 If we all go to the Mark McGuire party, what will happen? 253 00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:20,060 Wow. 254 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,500 Gee. 255 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:22,720 Must have been a very good party. 256 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:33,500 I just... I find it difficult to believe that you were going to end up in bed 257 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:34,500 with Mark McGuire. 258 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:35,940 You're jealous. 259 00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:40,300 Sweetie, no, I'm not jealous. I'm just... I'm just worried about our 260 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,319 Uh -huh. 261 00:13:41,319 --> 00:13:45,420 We have to get you into bed with Mark McGuire to make sure that the machine 262 00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:49,300 works. Well, I suppose if I must get into bed with Big Mac. 263 00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:54,460 I just think that would be best for both of us. Just don't do that goofy thing 264 00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:55,520 you do when we meet celebrities. 265 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,420 What goofy thing? I don't know. You get weird. Remember when we met Monty Hall? 266 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,520 I was fine when we met Monty Hall. Just don't be goofy. 267 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:08,080 Okay, how about this? You get an operation also and become a woman and 268 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,080 can still go out. 269 00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:12,550 Melissa, I love you, but I don't think so. 270 00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:16,530 Okay. I could maybe wear a little eye shadow, but that's about it. 271 00:14:21,990 --> 00:14:23,050 Hey, Mark. Come here. 272 00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,369 Party looks great. 273 00:14:26,370 --> 00:14:30,910 Absolutely. Hey, I have your itinerary and your room key. I got a key at the 274 00:14:30,910 --> 00:14:33,610 front desk. Oh, okay. Hey, Jim. Oh, hi, Jamie. 275 00:14:34,050 --> 00:14:37,190 Jamie, Paul Buckman, say hello to Mark McGuire. Jamie saved my life in the 276 00:14:37,190 --> 00:14:40,370 restaurant today. Nice to meet you. Pleasure to meet you. It is, isn't it? 277 00:14:40,370 --> 00:14:41,370 it really a pleasure? 278 00:14:42,030 --> 00:14:43,030 What do you mean? 279 00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:44,670 Isn't my wife lovely? 280 00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:47,830 Yes, she is. Yeah, and you haven't seen half of it. Look what's going on. 281 00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:49,510 Listen, 282 00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:51,150 it was really nice meeting both of you. 283 00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:52,810 Will you excuse me, please? Yes. 284 00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:56,149 Nice going. 285 00:14:56,150 --> 00:14:58,330 He's trying to facilitate a little thing here. Yeah, Monty Hall. 286 00:14:59,370 --> 00:15:00,550 Hey. Hey. 287 00:15:01,070 --> 00:15:01,929 Where's Melissa? 288 00:15:01,930 --> 00:15:02,930 The ladies' room. 289 00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:04,370 Maybe for the last time. 290 00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:09,150 Listen, I'm getting a little worried here. We might have a problem. I'm 291 00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:11,550 heck of a time getting my wife into bed with Mark McGuire. 292 00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:13,710 Hang on a minute. 293 00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:14,970 Oh, God. 294 00:15:16,010 --> 00:15:19,950 Hey, Mark. Mark McGuire. Ira Buckman. How you doing? Fine. How are you? I'm 295 00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:24,140 good. Listen, I am the cousin of the guy who was married to the woman who saved 296 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,140 your agent's life. 297 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,940 Oh, good to meet you. Yeah, you too. 298 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,420 So, uh, must be something being a home run champ, huh? 299 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,100 It's a lot of fun. 300 00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:35,240 Yeah. Must have chicks like throwing themselves at you. 301 00:15:35,540 --> 00:15:36,940 No, not really. No? 302 00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:41,600 Not that I would know anything about that. I mean, I have actually an 303 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,860 increasingly checkered history with women myself. 304 00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:48,780 My latest, this woman who I'm really nuts about, turns out she wants to be a 305 00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:49,780 man. 306 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,160 Yeah, anyway. 307 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:59,180 What I wanted to say was, if I were you, I would seriously consider making a 308 00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:00,660 play for my cousin's wife. 309 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,100 What's the deal with everyone and that woman? 310 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,160 I don't know. I'm starting to wish I'd choke to death. 311 00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:13,640 No, what I'm saying is, we would all, all of us, be very happy if you and she 312 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,100 were to wind up in bed together. 313 00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:17,060 Thanks, but I don't think so. 314 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,760 You sure? 315 00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:21,020 It was very nice for Mark to have met you, Ira. 316 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:24,420 Opportunity's knocking, my friend. Okay, Ira. 317 00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:26,560 I should have stopped when I was at 57. 318 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:28,899 Gotta go. 319 00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:29,799 That's so good. 320 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:33,100 All right, excuse me. Where you going? Just watch closely. 321 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,020 Hi, Mark. Remember me? 322 00:16:36,420 --> 00:16:42,200 You know, I couldn't help noticing your forearm is the same thickness as my 323 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,200 thigh. 324 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:45,440 Will you pardon me? 325 00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:50,660 Ooh, that had to hurt, I bet, huh? 326 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,380 Thinks he's so big. Yeah. 327 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,340 This is bad. This is very, very bad. All right, I think we've just got to face 328 00:16:56,340 --> 00:16:58,720 the facts. We are going to lose all that money. 329 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,960 And also, I think it's going to be a long time before we're invited to Mark 330 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:02,960 McGuire's house. 331 00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:04,380 So depressing. 332 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:05,680 Should we just go? 333 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,700 Yes. Yes, I'm going to go track down Melissa. 334 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,180 All right, I'm going to drown my sorrows a little first. You want something? 335 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,159 Yeah, sure. 336 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,800 Two vodka shots, please. 337 00:17:14,579 --> 00:17:15,579 And make him hurt. 338 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:18,880 Two vodka shots. 339 00:17:19,780 --> 00:17:24,960 All right, sweetie, a little toast to the unnecessary loss of a small fortune, 340 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,480 and may that never happen again. Here, here. 341 00:17:32,980 --> 00:17:33,859 That's good. 342 00:17:33,860 --> 00:17:34,860 Very good. 343 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,780 Got any more of that fire water there, Chester? 344 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,360 Two more vodka shots. 345 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:00,140 that this machine could just predict the future. You're a dummy. You're a dummy. 346 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,280 You're a dummy. You're a big dummy. 347 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,680 You're a dummy. You're a big, big, big dummy. I know you are, but what am I? 348 00:18:04,740 --> 00:18:05,739 Hello, 349 00:18:05,740 --> 00:18:07,220 this is Tom Brokaw. 350 00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:09,860 In Libya today. 351 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,080 Libya. No, no, no. 352 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:13,460 Libya. Oh, that's so sexy the way he says it. 353 00:18:13,780 --> 00:18:14,780 Libya. Libya. 354 00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:19,520 What happened? Paul and Jamie, I think you two have had enough, don't you? 355 00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:21,540 Okay. Okay. In Libya. 356 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:27,260 All right, here's what I want you to do. I want you to go upstairs to my room at 357 00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:28,360 613, okay? 358 00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:30,140 And lay down for a little while. Okay. 359 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,980 Okay. Okay. See you later. See you later. 360 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,160 I'm alive. 361 00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:41,800 Ah! Sir! Ah! 362 00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:45,360 Hey, didn't Hector say 613? 363 00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:47,140 Hector? 364 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,720 Whatever. You know what? I'm going to have a visit to the little drunk bad 365 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:52,720 investor's room. 366 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:18,160 It's okay. 367 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,200 Every happiness to you both. 368 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:25,320 And, Mark, remember, sometimes it's just, it's going to be easier just to 369 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,320 her have her way. 370 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,780 Gotcha. And you remember, they're going to be throwing you junk all year long, 371 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:31,960 so just wait for your pitch. 372 00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:33,340 Okay, buddy? 373 00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,840 I'll just wait for my pitch then, you see. 374 00:20:41,260 --> 00:20:42,940 Okay, bye -bye -bye -bye. Bye -bye. See ya. 27738

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