subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Mad About You s07e04 Theres A Puma In The Kitchen

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,319 --> 00:00:18,040 Just keep the old one. I think that's better. 2 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:39,320 And I will do. And tell me who can start my heart as much as you. 3 00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:41,740 Tell me all your secrets. 4 00:00:41,980 --> 00:00:43,500 I'll tell you most of mine. 5 00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:45,600 They say nobody's perfect. 6 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:47,720 Well, that's really true this time. 7 00:00:48,060 --> 00:00:49,640 Cause I don't have the answers. 8 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,580 I don't have a plan. 9 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:56,760 All I have is you. So baby, help me understand. What we do. 10 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:00,840 And you can whisper in my ear. Where we go. 11 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,680 Who knows what happens after here. 12 00:01:04,459 --> 00:01:08,800 Let's take each other's hand and jump into the final frontier. 13 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,800 Final frontier. 14 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:19,760 I've 15 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:26,580 never 16 00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:30,560 felt better in my life. 17 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,880 I'm so energetic. I'm full of pep and vim. I'm focused. I'm alive. 18 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:35,738 I'm alert. 19 00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:37,540 I am lord of the galaxy. 20 00:01:37,860 --> 00:01:38,839 Hey. 21 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:39,980 Oh, my wife is here. I gotta go. 22 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,840 Are you home for lunch? 23 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:46,020 Sadly, no. Home for the truck file, which I forgot. I was so exhausted this 24 00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:48,400 morning that I left without it in the presentation for this afternoon. 25 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:50,860 We still own the child, right? 26 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:53,560 Yes, we do. She's out with Ira and Lisa. Oh, good. 27 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:56,420 Yeah, they do this thing where Lisa pretends she's the mom. It's... 28 00:01:56,730 --> 00:01:58,730 You know, it's cute, but it's really incredibly sad. 29 00:01:58,970 --> 00:02:02,330 Well, there's nothing wrong with my sister having a little fun, spending 30 00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,330 Hello. 31 00:02:03,410 --> 00:02:05,090 You look nice. 32 00:02:05,570 --> 00:02:06,570 Thank you. 33 00:02:07,370 --> 00:02:10,130 Here's a thought for you, just off the top of my head. How would you like to 34 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:10,948 stay home for lunch? 35 00:02:10,949 --> 00:02:11,950 I'm not hungry. 36 00:02:12,850 --> 00:02:16,810 When I say lunch, I don't really mean lunch. I mean... lunch. 37 00:02:18,630 --> 00:02:20,930 Oh. A little quickie, huh? A little afternoon delight. 38 00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:22,210 A nooner. 39 00:02:22,650 --> 00:02:23,790 A nooner? 40 00:02:24,430 --> 00:02:26,290 Is that an expression you use? 41 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:27,680 A fast one. A leaner. 42 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,360 Oh. A mulligan. 43 00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:33,700 What? What do you do all day? Oh, all right. You know, it's a good point. 44 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:35,600 One hour martinizing. 45 00:02:35,820 --> 00:02:37,220 Good. All right. All right. Okay. 46 00:02:38,020 --> 00:02:39,440 What do you have here? What is it? 47 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:43,220 Hey, sweetie, either you have a very long wait at the bakery. I signed up for 48 00:02:43,220 --> 00:02:44,220 10K charity run. 49 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:48,340 Really? Well, good for you. What charity did you pay? Mother Teresa's Magic 50 00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:49,700 Children. Good for you. 51 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:51,040 You know what? 52 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,680 I'm going to sign up, too. 53 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,380 Yeah, we'll run together, you and me. We'll run. It'll be fun. 54 00:02:56,780 --> 00:03:00,020 Sweetie, not everybody has to run physically. You can run in spirit. 55 00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:02,180 What do you mean? 56 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,040 Sweetie, it's a 10K, 10 whole K. 57 00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:07,840 Right. You're saying you don't think I can run 10K? In a row. 58 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:13,520 That's very nice. My wife, who's supposed to be, like, my biggest 59 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,700 don't think that I have the energy to run a measly... 60 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,040 Ten little K. Do you even know how much a K is? 61 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,880 Yes, a K is one -tenth of a 10K. Uh -huh. 62 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,940 The point is, if you can do it, you're pretty sure I can do it. Okay. 63 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:30,280 You know what I think? I think you are afraid, my little friend. Afraid of? 64 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,320 Eating my dust. 65 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,580 I see. Uh -huh. 66 00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:36,680 But you know what? Under the circumstances, I'm going to let it go. 67 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,440 kind of person I am, and I'm going to offer you a lunch wiggle. 68 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,980 Oh! Come on, come on. All of us will mumble. 69 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,200 Sweetie. I'm tired. 70 00:03:42,330 --> 00:03:46,310 I'm late. I can't find my file. Yeah, okay. Big 10K person doesn't have the 71 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:49,250 strength for a little fiddle faddle. Honey. I understand. You're a mom. 72 00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:51,790 working. Who has the energy for a Chattanooga choo -choo? It's all right. 73 00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:54,310 Really? 74 00:03:56,190 --> 00:03:58,530 No kidding around? Uh -huh. So we have time for a flopsy? Yep. Yeah, we'll be 75 00:03:58,530 --> 00:03:59,670 behind. Humphrey. 76 00:04:00,070 --> 00:04:02,210 One more. I'm going back to the office. Last one, I swear. 77 00:04:09,130 --> 00:04:12,450 losing all that weight after Mabel was born. Please, don't do this. The last 78 00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:15,010 pounds were really bad. You understand, you are not her mother. And the 79 00:04:15,010 --> 00:04:17,709 lactating and the... Thank God, you're just her aunt. 80 00:04:18,310 --> 00:04:20,089 Hey, I'd be an amazing mother. Oh, yeah? 81 00:04:20,290 --> 00:04:21,290 Yeah. 82 00:04:21,370 --> 00:04:23,730 In fact, I think I want a baby of my own right now. 83 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:26,750 Okay, Liz, just a couple of things to consider, all right? 84 00:04:27,090 --> 00:04:27,929 Like what? 85 00:04:27,930 --> 00:04:28,930 Like you're nuts. 86 00:04:29,450 --> 00:04:31,530 Yeah. Yeah, and, like, what are you going to do about a husband? 87 00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:33,209 I'll adopt. 88 00:04:33,210 --> 00:04:35,470 Hey, don't even joke about something like that. 89 00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:37,030 I have a need to mother. 90 00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:40,720 Well, maybe you should not start at the top, you know, like with a baby human. 91 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,680 Maybe you should start with, like, a cactus, you know, or a banana. 92 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,220 I can mutter more than a banana. 93 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,120 How about a monkey? 94 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,100 No, no. A monkey's too evolved. 95 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:51,239 A turtle. 96 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:52,300 Get yourself a turtle. 97 00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:54,040 Oh, no, no. It has to have fur. 98 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:56,960 You can't be a mother unless the thing you're mothering has fur. A gerbil. 99 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,480 A cow. 100 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,960 Iguana. A horsey. Parrot. Cat. 101 00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:03,680 Hey, that sounds pretty good. Good. Adopt a cat. 102 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:04,900 Yeah, I will. 103 00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:06,420 What a cute baby. 104 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:07,990 Oh. Thank you. 105 00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:11,110 You know, I was in labor for over 70 hours. Here we go. 106 00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:18,250 Got to love those nooners. 107 00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:21,350 Let's hear it for a nooner. Is it noon? 108 00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:23,830 Let's have a nooner. I'm hungry. Are you hungry? 109 00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,250 Let's eat. Make me lunch. 110 00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:27,870 Sleeping. You promised you weren't going to make me lunch. Aren't you hungry? 111 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,129 Aren't you? 112 00:05:29,130 --> 00:05:30,130 Aren't you? 113 00:05:31,070 --> 00:05:34,430 I'm trying to sleep. Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but that was right up there 114 00:05:34,430 --> 00:05:37,770 with the best ever. Honey, just... No talking. Just sleeping. 115 00:05:38,350 --> 00:05:42,850 And yet, ironically, incredibly, happily, wonderfully, among the very 116 00:05:42,850 --> 00:05:46,270 best. I'll give you $20 to be quiet. I feel so energized. 117 00:05:46,530 --> 00:05:51,770 $30. So filled with voltage. I love this. This energy. These volts. 118 00:05:52,130 --> 00:05:54,210 I sing the body electric. 119 00:05:55,090 --> 00:05:56,090 It's chi. 120 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:57,190 Huh? 121 00:05:57,670 --> 00:05:58,670 It's chi. 122 00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:00,750 Chinese for life energy. 123 00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:03,210 You have taken all my chi. 124 00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:06,290 I'm totally empty. Even the extra tank. 125 00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:10,640 which is why now, according to Chinese legend, I must sleep for a thousand 126 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,599 years. 127 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,060 Let me tell you something, buddy. That is some primo chi you got there, because 128 00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:18,460 I am late, officially late. You know what? I don't need that file for my 129 00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:21,740 presentation. I'll do it off the top, on the spot, right off the top of my head. 130 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,260 You're not making me lunch, are you? 131 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:26,140 Can't even talk. Gotta go. Okay. 132 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:28,460 Let's grab a Cobb salad. 133 00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:32,000 I just fell asleep again. 134 00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:40,940 How about this one? Looks just like Annette Bening. Yeah, that's just what I 135 00:06:40,940 --> 00:06:42,560 need. A cat that's better looking than me. 136 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,100 Hey, look at that one. 137 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:46,600 What? Oh, 138 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,400 that's a kangaroo. 139 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,080 It'll probably kill a rabbit. 140 00:06:53,820 --> 00:06:55,760 Wow, look at his coat. I wonder what kind of cat it is. 141 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,640 That'll be the very rare homicidal jumping cat. 142 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,500 He's feisty. 143 00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:02,099 Excuse me. 144 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,360 I'd like to adopt this cat, please. 145 00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:04,900 That one? 146 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,760 You have a problem with that? 147 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,320 Are you sure about this? This cat looks like it just got out of Bellevue. 148 00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:17,520 I'm telling you, go with Annette. 149 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:22,320 See, 150 00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:25,100 he needs me. 151 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:31,200 Oh, yeah, scratch my back. That feels good. What? It's fine. 152 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,600 Buckman at the five and Murray in hot pursuit. 153 00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:45,700 I say Murray in hot pursuit. 154 00:07:48,940 --> 00:07:53,960 Hiya. Hi. Did you forget something at home two days in a row? Oh, boy, the 155 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,520 is the first thing to go. That is just so sad. But I want you to know, honey, 156 00:07:57,540 --> 00:08:00,180 don't worry. We're going to put you in a nice home somewhere. Not one of those 157 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,920 state -run facilities. I'm talking like a lovely place in the country, you know, 158 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,520 with finger paints and roses and a nice little duck pond. Can we have a nooner? 159 00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:10,090 Can we have a nooner? It's noon. 160 00:08:11,510 --> 00:08:14,870 What do you think? Do you think you can just march in here unannounced whenever 161 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:17,850 you want and I'm supposed to hop to it and service your every primitive need? 162 00:08:18,070 --> 00:08:19,130 Yes. Exactly. 163 00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:26,810 You know, after yesterday's nooner, I got Donald Trump to fund a daycare 164 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:31,100 The thing is, I have to somehow today get him to pay for an environmentally 165 00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,640 friendly playground. I have no idea how to do this. 166 00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:36,780 So it occurred to me, hey, I know, let's have another Nooner, which will be 167 00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:40,120 barrels of fun in and of itself, not to mention it may be able to, like, jog my 168 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,120 thinking a little bit. 169 00:08:41,340 --> 00:08:43,480 I'm only doing this for the environment. You're a giver. 170 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,220 I signed up for the charity 10K. 171 00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:47,500 Hey, hey, hey. 172 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:48,900 Don't talk. Okay. 173 00:08:52,870 --> 00:08:56,230 I've never been used like this before in my life, and I must say, me likey. 174 00:09:05,350 --> 00:09:06,350 Eleven, would you please? 175 00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:08,370 Oh, hey, Eleven, me too. 176 00:09:08,790 --> 00:09:10,550 Oh, yeah, Bethesda. 177 00:09:11,730 --> 00:09:14,030 You know what? I know that Eleven would be lovely. 178 00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:15,630 I'm a new mother. 179 00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:16,750 Really? 180 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:36,440 But translated into running, what we just did is maybe an eighth of a K. And 181 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,440 look at you. 182 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,540 Don't look at me. I'm grotesque. 183 00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:43,159 Hey, Lee. 184 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:47,100 Hey. Hey, hey. Did you learn to knock? Please, I'm bottomless under an Afghan 185 00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:49,120 here. Can I leave this here for a couple days? 186 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,320 This? Did I say this was going to happen? I knew it. 187 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,000 No, 188 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,740 it's okay. It's okay. It's just a little putty cap. 189 00:10:00,180 --> 00:10:01,620 I got to go. I'll walk you out. 190 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,680 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 191 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:05,820 a minute. Wait a minute. 192 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:12,680 Wait a minute. 193 00:10:12,740 --> 00:10:13,740 Wait a minute. 194 00:10:33,130 --> 00:10:37,230 just to warm up. Oh, honey, do you know how few things there are that are less 195 00:10:37,230 --> 00:10:38,250 likely right now? 196 00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:39,930 Come on, Uncle Joe. 197 00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:43,930 What is that, Uncle Joe? Because you're moving kind of slow. 198 00:10:45,350 --> 00:10:49,010 You're so funny and so clever. 199 00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:52,630 Honey, what do you think the odds are of you running a 10K tomorrow if you can't 200 00:10:52,630 --> 00:10:53,630 leave the house today? 201 00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:55,830 All right. You want to see running? 202 00:10:56,050 --> 00:10:59,610 You want to see running? We'll see some running. You will see me run like 203 00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:02,820 lightning. Oh, every day my feet a little further away. 204 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,800 Do you think that neuter was the best so far? I could tell. 205 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:13,320 You let out a sound, my friend, a wild sound I'd never heard before. My sounds 206 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,400 were within perfectly reasonable limits. 207 00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:19,860 Well, maybe you didn't hear yourself, but it was like... That 208 00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:23,860 was the noise. 209 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,400 Actually, 210 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:28,420 that was the noise. 211 00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:58,900 Call someone. 212 00:11:58,920 --> 00:11:59,819 Like who? 213 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:00,960 The SWAT team. 214 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:02,580 Or the exorcist. 215 00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,580 They'll say the pound. 216 00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:06,460 Why would you call the pound? 217 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:08,760 To take away the cat. 218 00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:13,280 You just returned the cat. That cat is Lisa's baby. How would you feel if 219 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,280 someone returned Mabel? 220 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,480 If Mabel were leaping nine feet in the air and biting the tails off of 221 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,120 sheepdogs, I think I'd be open for discussion. 222 00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:22,120 The book of a thousand cats? 223 00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:23,560 $1 .98. What do you care? 224 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:25,869 You know what? 225 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:28,810 You call the pound. I'm gonna get Murray out of there. Be careful. 226 00:12:29,670 --> 00:12:31,270 I believe I will be careful. 227 00:12:35,510 --> 00:12:36,510 Shh. 228 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:35,160 It has pronounced ears. And here's the thing. It has, like, a bone -chilling 229 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,160 cry. 230 00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:38,780 It's sort of a... No, 231 00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:46,160 it's higher than that. Like a... Really incredibly bad cat. 232 00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:50,480 What do you mean it's not a regular cat? 233 00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:52,740 What is it, then? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Here it is. 234 00:13:53,940 --> 00:13:54,940 It's a puma. 235 00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:58,180 It's a baby puma. There's a puma in the kitchen? 236 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,380 I say, it is your department. 237 00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:08,070 Please send us some half -crazed meat. You're darn tootin' all over me. 238 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:13,030 My goodness. 239 00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:15,570 Paul, 240 00:14:16,450 --> 00:14:17,309 walk out of here. 241 00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:19,430 Honey, he's got a real knack for this, okay? 242 00:14:19,670 --> 00:14:21,810 Just back out, slow. 243 00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:24,490 Paul, I just... Do it! 244 00:14:26,330 --> 00:14:27,330 Yes, hello. 245 00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:31,690 A park ranger? Where am I supposed to find a park ranger in Manhattan? Central 246 00:14:31,690 --> 00:14:32,690 Park? 247 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:34,160 Oh, Central Park. 248 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:40,640 Honey, they say we have to... Are you good? 249 00:14:41,140 --> 00:14:42,140 Oh, yeah. 250 00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:48,900 Give me back my cat. 251 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,160 It's too dangerous. 252 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:51,360 Fine. Thank you. 253 00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:56,920 Would you just cut it out? And don't call him dangerous. My baby is not 254 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:57,920 dangerous, okay? 255 00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:58,980 Oh. 256 00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:00,300 Hi. 257 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,200 It's in there. 258 00:15:02,919 --> 00:15:06,540 Must be exciting being a ranger, huh? Well, it has its moments. Yeah, I bet 259 00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:07,540 can see far. 260 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:08,760 Oh, 261 00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:10,160 isn't he a cutie? 262 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:12,480 Yeah, he's adorable. 263 00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:17,500 It's a tranquilizer, just so I can get him to the zoo. 264 00:15:17,780 --> 00:15:18,559 The zoo? 265 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:21,580 Oh, come on. I know he's been in a lot of trouble, and, well, you try and teach 266 00:15:21,580 --> 00:15:23,000 them right from wrong, but... It's a cat. 267 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:24,800 It's not your fault. 268 00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:28,320 Of course it's my fault. I'm his mother. I'm responsible. It's nobody's fault. 269 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:29,640 It's a cat. 270 00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:35,330 There's so much a mother can do. Every child has its own nature. Our baby's a 271 00:15:35,330 --> 00:15:36,289 fussy eater. 272 00:15:36,290 --> 00:15:38,110 Your baby's a, you know, a puma. 273 00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:42,970 Honey, behind you. Quick. No, no, no, no, no. Shoot me, shoot me. You want me 274 00:15:42,970 --> 00:15:43,929 to? No. 275 00:15:43,930 --> 00:15:45,670 Well, you know what? The guy's already here. 276 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:49,710 No. Hey, you know what? You're not a mother, are you? No. So you don't know 277 00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:50,710 heartache, the worry? 278 00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:52,090 Shoot him, shoot him. 279 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:18,720 What, 12 to 14 hours? Yeah. Yeah. 280 00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:29,580 Honey? 281 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,320 Sweetie? 282 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,320 Paul? Born free. 283 00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:39,480 As free as the wind blow. 284 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:40,880 Honey? 285 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,680 Huh? It's time for the 10K, sweetie. 286 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,000 I can't. 287 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,180 I know. I know. 288 00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:50,940 I can't. I don't. You go. You go. 289 00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:52,520 Have a nice time. I will. 290 00:16:53,140 --> 00:16:57,240 I was just wondering if maybe before I do, you want to have a little flopsy? 291 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:00,600 A McMullen? 292 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:02,780 A Mulligan. Whatever it is. No. 293 00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:06,700 You'll give me that edge, that little extra something. No, I don't have 294 00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:10,700 to give you. Oh, sweetie, I've been shot in the ass with a tranquilizer. 295 00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:12,140 There. Ow. 296 00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:15,220 No, I've been bitten in the colon. 297 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:21,089 I can't. If you don't care about Mother Teresa's magic children... Don't do that 298 00:17:21,089 --> 00:17:23,730 to me, please. No, no, no, fine. If you're willing to suck the magic out of 299 00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:26,250 their desperate little love... Oh, I'm begging you. You know what? Most of 300 00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:29,690 children have never even had a day in the sun. All right, let's go. 301 00:17:29,890 --> 00:17:32,710 Maybe half a Guggenheim, but then I gotta lie down. 302 00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:46,190 Look, I can't work with you this way. I asked you to meow, you leave. 303 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,700 I ask you to leave, you hit. I ask you to hiss, you swap. 304 00:17:49,980 --> 00:17:51,900 Uh, actually, we call that swiping. 305 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,900 Shut up! I'm an adult! 306 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:57,160 I just spent the last five days directing a freaking cat! 307 00:17:58,220 --> 00:17:59,660 Sure, now. 308 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,960 You call yourself a cat? You're not a cat. Murray's a dog, and he's a better 309 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:06,960 than you are. 310 00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:11,740 Murray walks in, hits his mark, looks up and barks. He's not even looking at me. 311 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,880 See, you shouldn't even be in SAG. 312 00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:28,620 Ruby Wax meets legendary Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss at 9 .30. And at 10 .40, 313 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,600 we kick off our Lee Evans season live from the West End. Up next, though, 314 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:33,600 by for Frasier. 23262