All language subtitles for Mad About You s06e03 Speed Baby
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1
00:00:06,380 --> 00:00:07,380
Trick or treat.
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00:00:10,060 --> 00:00:11,640
How old are you?
3
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Seven.
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What are you supposed to be dressed up
as?
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00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:18,240
An adult.
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00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:21,700
Good costume.
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Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep,
little baby.
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Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep,
for crying out
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loud.
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Can't remember a time we weren't putting
this baby to bed.
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Okay, oh, okay.
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Come on, Mabel.
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Okay, come on, honey.
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It's a thousand o 'clock, come on.
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You know, I got that big meeting in the
morning. Uh -huh. I told you about that
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meeting with Ira. We're meeting the
Belgians. Yeah.
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Yeah, they might distribute our film.
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Big meeting, you know. Big meeting.
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I have to be fresh and rested for a
meeting. What are you saying?
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I'm saying, would it be completely wrong
if I asked briefly, can I possibly
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sleep for a little while? Well, maybe
for a little while. You took the baby in
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the other room, the two of you.
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Wrong. Probably.
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In the meantime, can I just say one
thing? We're not getting a nanny.
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Okay, A, how do you know that's what I
was going to say?
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And two, why?
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Because I don't want my child being
raised by an intermediary. I'm talking
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raising, just holding in the other room
for a little while.
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Give me another song.
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What? I said another song. I want you to
sing her another song. I don't have any
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more songs. I'm totally out of songs. I
got Louie Louie and The Lion Sleeps
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Tonight. Good, The Lion Sleeps Tonight.
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Seriously. Sing to your daughter.
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In the jungle, the mighty jungle,
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the lion sleeps tonight.
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I'm calling the doctor.
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He's such a great singer.
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I'm worried. She's never done this
before.
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Sweetie, granted, I'm just a layman
here, but my understanding is that
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often cry quite a lot. Not like this.
She's not hungry. She's not gassy. She
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doesn't have a rash. I'm calling the
doctor.
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She's got the appointment tomorrow
anyway. Good. We'll be early.
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Okay.
44
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What? What is your problem with calling
the doctor?
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You know, listen, if that's the first
impression you want to make... What?
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It's just, you know, here we are. This
is the first time we're calling him in
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the middle of the night for basically a
marginal... First of all, it's not...
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Bouncer, bouncer, bouncer, bouncer,
bouncer.
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What kind of impression we make? We were
very lucky to get this guy. He's only
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seeing us as a favor to Joan.
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You know, most of his patients are big,
fancy, famous people.
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I don't care how big and fancy he is. I
don't care who his famous patients are.
53
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Fair enough.
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Who are they?
55
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What? His famous patients.
56
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:06,460
All right, Rosie O'Donnell, Donald
Trump, Sinead O 'Connor.
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Wow. Exactly.
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Well, who are we to call this guy?
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All right, that's it. I'm calling the
doctor.
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He's our doctor. It's his job.
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That to Sinead O 'Connor was no treat.
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Hello, Don Kekich. Dr. Kekich, this is
Jamie Buckman calling. I'm one of your
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new patients. We're actually seeing you
tomorrow for the first time. Our
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daughter, Mabel, woke up about two hours
ago, and she's crying, and she hasn't
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stopped. She's not warm. She's not
listless. Her color is good. Sort of a
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light aubergine.
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Hello?
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So we're just going to bring her over
now, if that's okay? Mrs. Buckman, it
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seems like you've covered all the bases,
so why don't you just bring her into
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00:04:51,940 --> 00:04:54,560
the office tomorrow and we'll have a
look. Okay, so we're going to bring her
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00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,260
over now, if that's okay? I understand
your concern, Mrs. Buckman, but I think
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it'll be just fine if you bring her in
tomorrow and we check her out. Okay, so
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we're going to bring her over now, if
that's okay?
74
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:04,619
You know what?
75
00:05:04,620 --> 00:05:07,320
Why don't you bring her over right now?
Okay, if that's what you think.
76
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,020
Hello? Joe?
77
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Don Kekich. Oh, hi, Don. Everything
okay?
78
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Paul and Jamie Buckman are bringing
their baby in. Why? No reason. The
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fine. She's just crying, and they're
wildly overreacting is all.
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Oh. I just wanted to thank you so very
much for the referral.
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Right now.
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Oh, it's nothing. Paul and Jamie are
just taking the baby to the doctor.
83
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Why? Oh, it's nothing. Nothing. No, no,
no. She's crying and they're just
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flipping out a little. Is she okay? How
do you know she's okay? Deb, believe me.
85
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I'm calling them.
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What's the difference? They're all
right.
87
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What's wrong with the baby?
88
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Ma? Debbie?
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Oh, my God. I must have pushed the wrong
speed dial button. What's wrong with
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00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:03,970
the baby? Nothing. Nothing. Why would
you think something's wrong with the
91
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I never got good news after 9 .30 at
night. What's wrong with the baby?
92
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Nothing. She's crying a little.
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Oh, my God.
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You know what this means? What?
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I can only imagine.
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How do I look?
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You look fine. Why?
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I don't want to look too fine. You know,
you wake up a doctor in the middle of
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the night, you want to look a little
bedraggled and disheveled. You look
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bedraggled and disheveled.
101
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Ah, you're just saying that.
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Get up. Why? We're going to the kids.
Why?
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Because we have to. Okay.
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Get off the phone.
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What are you doing?
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I got mom all upset.
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What now?
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I'm going to my parents.
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One baby cries and the whole world gets
woken up? My mother will die of worry.
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She will go back to sleep.
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Not after hearing news like this. News
like what? She can only imagine.
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on East 67th Street, please?
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Remember all the other times in my life
I said I was tired? Yeah. I was a big
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sissy.
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You know, some nannies will actually go
with you in the middle of the night to
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the doctor so one of the parents could
get some sleep.
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Would you really rather be sleeping?
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Yeah.
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Really? Yeah.
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Really?
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No.
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Hey, look at that.
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Hey, she stopped crying.
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Good sweet girl.
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Good sweet girl.
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Sweet girl.
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Paul? Jamie?
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Are you here? It's us.
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Your parents.
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Murray. Murray.
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Where did they go?
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Tell us, boy.
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Tell us where they went.
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Thank you very much.
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What are they doing?
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Going to find out where they went.
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Deb. Who?
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Hello. Joan.
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Mom? I'm not ready for you to call me
that.
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Mom?
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They went to the doctors. I knew it. But
it's nothing.
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Oh, my God. The baby's crying a little,
and they're just overreacting. In this
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family, we do not overreact.
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Okay. Where's the doctor?
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Sylvia, I really don't... Where's their
doctor?
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Okay.
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Mom? Dad?
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00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,020
Dad, hello?
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Oh, boy.
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Okay.
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00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,440
We...
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Hello. They're not here.
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Mom? It's Deb.
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I'm not ready for you to call her that.
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Hey.
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They're not here.
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I know. She called. They went to the
doctors.
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Where's their doctor? Oh, Deb, I really
don't... Where's their doctor?
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00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,740
Look at how she stopped crying.
160
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It's movement.
161
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:12,200
It's movement. When the cab was moving,
she slept. When it stopped, she started
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crying. Now in the elevator, it's the
same thing.
163
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So she just needs movement.
164
00:10:15,260 --> 00:10:17,060
Actually, I've read about this. This is
very common.
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We've just got to keep her moving.
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Yeah. For the rest of our lives.
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Just for ten minutes or so. That's all
it takes.
168
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We're at the doctor's office now.
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We don't need him anymore.
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I know.
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If we see him now, we'll make a horrible
first impression. Yes, I know. He's a
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big, famous guy. That's right. What are
we going to do?
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Ah!
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me was not a good first impression.
He'll never remember us.
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Especially if you send the nanny
tomorrow.
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What nanny?
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Uh -huh.
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Hey, look at that.
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It's just a miracle. It really is.
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All right, so you know what? Ten minutes
here, quick cab home. I still get three
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hours before the Belgians.
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Oh, my God. Someone just pushed 12.
183
00:11:08,380 --> 00:11:10,860
Oh, honey, if this thing stops... I
know. She's going to cry.
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00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,040
All right, all right. Stand back.
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00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,900
on Columbus Avenue. What did we used to
do to make the elevator skip floors?
186
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Pauly. What?
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00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:32,360
It's for the baby.
188
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:34,140
Okay, okay. Open the panel.
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Okay, I got it, got it. You should see
two buttons. A red express button and a
190
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blue local button. Got it, got it.
191
00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:40,460
Push the red button.
192
00:11:41,740 --> 00:11:44,400
Got it. Not the blue button. How do you
push the blue button? Pauly, whatever
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you do, do not push that blue button.
I'm not pushing the blue button. You
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very clear. Stop telling me not to push
the blue button. All right, that should
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do it. Oh, God. Oh, my God.
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Yes!
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Congratulations. You're on the express
from the rooftop.
198
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You are a genius. Go back to sleep.
199
00:11:57,740 --> 00:11:58,740
Yeah, right.
200
00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:02,940
Hey, how cool am I? You are very cool.
How long have we been in the elevator?
201
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,640
We have been here exactly a minute and
15 seconds.
202
00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:07,100
Well, that's too bad. Why?
203
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:08,960
Because we've reached the lobby.
204
00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:15,980
There's got to be a surefire way of
keeping her moving. Like what?
205
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:18,639
She's sleeping?
206
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,680
She sure is. All right, how smart am I?
You're pretty smart.
207
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:21,960
Hey, little jump.
208
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,199
Go home.
209
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,520
Two and a half hours before the bell.
Okay, one problem. What's the matter?
210
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,760
going to pass out. Are you okay?
211
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:29,919
Yeah, I'm okay.
212
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:30,920
I'm all right.
213
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,860
How much did we miss it by?
214
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,420
Nine minutes and 40 seconds.
215
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,160
Okay, all right, okay.
216
00:12:38,860 --> 00:12:40,940
Hey, health club.
217
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:43,300
I understand. I will work out, I swear.
218
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,160
No, no, no, no. I got an idea.
219
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:50,659
You are a genius.
220
00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:53,440
Honey. Believe me, I never would have
thought of this. This is so smart of
221
00:12:53,580 --> 00:12:56,000
Sweetie, but I've said it. Although, you
know what? I've got to say, in the
222
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,080
final analysis, it's kind of funny
because this is not all so different
223
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,980
street. Oh, man.
224
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,420
I've got the lungs of Sir Walter
Raleigh.
225
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:04,860
Honey. What?
226
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:09,660
That wouldn't work.
227
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,080
Look at all the doctors.
228
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:16,340
It's a medical building.
229
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:17,640
Still.
230
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:20,699
42. Ma, wait.
231
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,240
Debbie? What are you doing?
232
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,540
Are you coming? Ma, you don't have to
make yourself crazy. Oh, okay.
233
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,720
What do you think is wrong with the
baby?
234
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,340
Ma, there is no right answer to that
question, so I won't honor it with some
235
00:13:32,340 --> 00:13:34,320
speculation that will only torment
everyone.
236
00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:36,380
Could be a fever.
237
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:37,620
Oh, my God.
238
00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:43,800
What are we doing on the roof?
239
00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:46,140
What kind of wacky doctor is this?
240
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,200
How much time left?
241
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:51,620
Four minutes.
242
00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:53,680
We're going to make it. We are going to
make it. Excuse me.
243
00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:55,640
I need a treadmill, if you don't mind.
244
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:59,900
Oh, oh. You know, if you could just wait
like four minutes or something, we'd
245
00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:00,900
really appreciate it. Sorry.
246
00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:02,420
No can do.
247
00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:04,620
You can't wait four minutes? Nope. Got
to go.
248
00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:07,560
Got to keep this heart rate up. Very
important. Heart rate.
249
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,320
Yeah, we've got a little baby. Also
important.
250
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,720
Heart rate.
251
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,440
Baby. Heart rate.
252
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,640
A little baby.
253
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:16,760
Are you members?
254
00:14:18,069 --> 00:14:19,069
Are you?
255
00:14:21,630 --> 00:14:25,390
Um, we're, like, trial members,
trialing. You know, we're trying it out.
256
00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:29,010
first month free, kind of, we're, you
know, just looking at those.
257
00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:32,130
Meet after me.
258
00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:33,270
Yes, we're members.
259
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:34,530
Want to make something of it?
260
00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:37,830
Now what are we going to do?
261
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:40,730
All right, stand back.
262
00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:44,730
Taxi!
263
00:14:46,730 --> 00:14:47,730
Taxi!
264
00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:51,700
What do you suppose happened to Al
LoSalvo?
265
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:57,000
What? Well, look, year after year, Al
LoSalvo signed the inspection
266
00:14:57,140 --> 00:14:59,700
and suddenly, boom, we're coming in.
267
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,040
How did we get in the lobby? I don't
like this building.
268
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,060
Are you Dr. Kekich?
269
00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:11,600
Yes. We're the Buckmans.
270
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,800
I'm their daughter.
271
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,370
I see the crying has stopped.
272
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:32,250
Excuse me, could your kid cry louder
and, like, even closer to my head?
273
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:34,850
Okay, sir.
274
00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:40,190
We... I know, I know. Baby on board.
Drive carefully. Go really slow. Avoid
275
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:41,190
sharp turns.
276
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:44,050
Don't hit any potholes. And there's a
couple of bucks in it for me.
277
00:15:44,350 --> 00:15:45,370
Blah, blah, blah.
278
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:46,850
Actually, uh, no.
279
00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:50,680
What we need is... for you to just drive
for 10 minutes without stopping.
280
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,020
Really? That's the only way she'll stay
asleep.
281
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:55,160
Can you do this?
282
00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:59,040
Can you keep this baby rolling for 10
minutes without stopping?
283
00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:01,440
Are you our man?
284
00:16:06,380 --> 00:16:11,460
Welcome to cab number KB1847.
285
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,060
Keanu.
286
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:20,980
Pleased to meet you.
287
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,580
Hey, it's working.
288
00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:24,980
It sure is.
289
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:30,260
All right, so, nine more minutes in
here, home, and then I still get a
290
00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:31,460
little cat nap before the Belgians.
291
00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:33,660
Oh, man.
292
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,820
What's the matter? Fire truck, dude.
I've got to put it to the side.
293
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:38,880
Oh, do you really?
294
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:40,360
It's just a fire.
295
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,420
Actually, there is one other thing I can
do. What's that?
296
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,680
That was very nicely done, Keanu.
297
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,800
I'm going to go back later and pick up
my liver.
298
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,400
Thanks, Keanu.
299
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:55,600
No problem.
300
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:57,180
All right. Okay.
301
00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:00,480
Here we go. All right. Eight minutes to
go. Clear sailing?
302
00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:02,500
Good. Oh, man.
303
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:04,380
Oh, man.
304
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:05,680
Oh, man.
305
00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:07,670
I'm running the dude.
306
00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:12,829
I'm running him. I'm not stopping. Oh,
really, many thanks. I think that's
307
00:17:12,829 --> 00:17:15,530
and beyond the call of duty. Hey, you
got a little munchkin back there that
308
00:17:15,530 --> 00:17:17,950
needs to get some sleep. Boy, do I. I
have this meeting tomorrow.
309
00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:21,589
All right, how much time?
310
00:17:22,390 --> 00:17:24,210
Uh, seven minutes.
311
00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:26,510
Stay asleep.
312
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:29,510
Stay asleep.
313
00:17:31,030 --> 00:17:32,590
Stay asleep.
314
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,220
All right, room 511, please.
315
00:17:49,460 --> 00:17:53,080
Hello? Hey, Bruno, how you doing? This
is Ira Buckman.
316
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:57,740
Listen, my partner's kid is having a
really bad night, see, and because of
317
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:01,740
like, half the universe is awake, right?
So I didn't know whether to call you
318
00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:04,840
now and cancel the meeting or wait till
you woke up and cancel the meeting,
319
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:06,960
because, you know, I know how you
Belgians are about your sleep.
320
00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:10,270
I thought I'd call now. I hope that's
okay.
321
00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:11,910
But of course. All right.
322
00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:13,650
Good. You go back to sleep.
323
00:18:13,930 --> 00:18:15,330
Sure. No problem.
324
00:18:20,450 --> 00:18:22,030
Oh, he doesn't look very happy.
325
00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:25,690
What's the matter, Officer Dude? Amazed
at, like, the world in them because you
326
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:27,070
turned on your big old roof lights?
327
00:18:27,650 --> 00:18:31,250
You know, Keanu, in my own life,
personally, I've had very few brushes
328
00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:32,310
law. How much time do you have?
329
00:18:32,690 --> 00:18:33,690
Two minutes.
330
00:18:51,850 --> 00:18:52,530
How much
331
00:18:52,530 --> 00:19:00,170
time?
332
00:19:00,470 --> 00:19:03,610
30 seconds. We may make it. I just want
to say right now, okay?
333
00:19:04,090 --> 00:19:08,490
Like, no matter how many millions of
points this is on my license, I really
334
00:19:08,490 --> 00:19:09,490
you guys.
335
00:19:09,630 --> 00:19:12,650
We feel very close to you, too. You
know, we've been in... End time.
336
00:19:14,790 --> 00:19:17,310
Okay, Keanu, you can pull over, dude.
337
00:19:29,930 --> 00:19:31,050
Can I see your license and registration?
338
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:32,350
Shh.
339
00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:40,830
Boy, that was a very understanding cop.
340
00:19:41,150 --> 00:19:42,150
Hey, he has kids.
341
00:19:42,590 --> 00:19:43,990
I'm not brushing my teeth again.
342
00:19:47,830 --> 00:19:48,830
Good night.
343
00:19:53,950 --> 00:19:55,030
That is correct.
344
00:20:24,270 --> 00:20:25,270
Thank you.
24850
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