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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:05,170 So teeny. 2 00:00:05,590 --> 00:00:06,449 I know. 3 00:00:06,450 --> 00:00:09,650 Love the way her little eyelids flutter. Really cute. 4 00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:12,670 Is she just the most beautiful thing in the world? 5 00:00:12,890 --> 00:00:13,970 She looks like a mother. 6 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:17,550 That one. 7 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,010 Need any help? 8 00:00:33,390 --> 00:00:35,290 No, sir. You have done enough. 9 00:00:35,690 --> 00:00:41,390 You have delivered a child, so from now on, all the pain will be mine. 10 00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:44,650 Although, you know what? If you could take this one, it's biting me like you 11 00:00:44,650 --> 00:00:45,650 wouldn't be. 12 00:00:46,150 --> 00:00:47,210 Hi, little sweetie. 13 00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:48,530 Here we are. 14 00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:53,230 Hi, sweet darling. Welcome to your new home. 15 00:00:58,010 --> 00:00:59,090 It's usually neater. 16 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,269 Look at all these presents you got. 17 00:01:04,830 --> 00:01:07,230 And that's just for being born. You wait till you do something. 18 00:01:09,230 --> 00:01:10,630 Wow. What? 19 00:01:11,110 --> 00:01:13,170 Just this. This. The three of us. 20 00:01:13,710 --> 00:01:14,710 We're here. 21 00:01:15,050 --> 00:01:16,050 We're all here. 22 00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:17,150 Yes, we are. 23 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:19,910 It's something, huh? It is. 24 00:01:26,430 --> 00:01:27,970 She's saying we have a baby now. Good God Almighty. 25 00:01:30,030 --> 00:01:31,990 This is going to be okay. It is? Yeah. 26 00:01:33,230 --> 00:01:34,230 Hey, Murray. 27 00:01:34,530 --> 00:01:36,130 Hey, Murray. Look who's here. 28 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,130 Look. A whole new person for you to smell. 29 00:01:40,270 --> 00:01:43,990 Say hello to possibly Julia. 30 00:01:45,050 --> 00:01:46,870 My Uncle Jules. How about Lily? 31 00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:49,070 Lily. Or my Aunt Lolly. 32 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,310 Lily, Lolly. 33 00:01:51,430 --> 00:01:53,410 Murray, you have a sister. 34 00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:55,650 What do you think about that, huh? 35 00:02:08,430 --> 00:02:09,430 Wait, 36 00:02:12,930 --> 00:02:14,830 wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, okay. 37 00:02:15,770 --> 00:02:16,770 Uh -huh. 38 00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:19,610 Already they do that? Okay, okay, okay. 39 00:02:20,170 --> 00:02:22,170 Oh, you know what, sweetie? We got one of those changing tables you're supposed 40 00:02:22,170 --> 00:02:24,210 to use. You put it right on the changing table, and then you have to put the kid 41 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,170 right on the table, which is probably not the... Okay, but that table's good. 42 00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:35,270 Another diaper. Some Desitin and some baby wipes, please. Coming right up. 43 00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:35,829 we go. 44 00:02:35,830 --> 00:02:36,830 I'm looking. 45 00:02:37,050 --> 00:02:38,690 Crackers? Diaper, diaper, diaper. 46 00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:40,690 Okay. 47 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,870 Diaper, diaper, diaper. 48 00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:44,710 Thank you. Thank you. 49 00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:49,590 Maybe not the best trade Daddy ever made. 50 00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:52,990 Didn't really think this one all the way through, did I? 51 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:55,900 You know, hold on one second. I'll be right back. 52 00:02:56,120 --> 00:03:00,880 All right, so the tape goes in the front, you would think, so it stands to 53 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,520 reason that this must be the front. 54 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,740 So... Put this under here. 55 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,800 And we tape it down on that side. 56 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:15,240 And we tape it down on this side. And we have... Come here. 57 00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:16,500 Come here. 58 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,220 This is a total disaster. 59 00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:24,010 please? That was the only diaper they gave us, sweetie. 60 00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:27,030 They sent us home from the hospital with one diaper? 61 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,730 Yes, it'll be okay. It's okay. 62 00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:31,390 Oh, no, 63 00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:32,630 no. That's a little too tight. 64 00:03:34,650 --> 00:03:36,170 It'll be right back. Where are you going? 65 00:03:36,490 --> 00:03:37,490 Incinerator. 66 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,310 First poop. 67 00:03:56,430 --> 00:03:57,610 My first husband, Hal. 68 00:03:57,850 --> 00:03:59,050 Your first husband, Hal. 69 00:03:59,410 --> 00:04:00,450 My first husband, Hal. 70 00:04:00,870 --> 00:04:04,030 Both my husbands have been called Hal. My second husband, Hal, and I have 71 00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:07,310 separated. And my first husband, Hal, and I are rekindled. All right? 72 00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:11,450 All right, well, good for you, boy. You know, you're like that woman in the 73 00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:15,150 song, Henry VIII. You know, she married eight guys all named Henry. 74 00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:17,850 Yes, I'm exactly like that. 75 00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:20,690 Would you mind joining me in the living room, please? 76 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,470 Sure. 77 00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:24,250 They've had a child? 78 00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:25,830 I'm afraid so. 79 00:04:27,690 --> 00:04:29,410 Come on, stick. Will you stick? 80 00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:30,690 It's okay. 81 00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:31,890 Bring me some tape. 82 00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:34,190 Tape? Don't judge me. Just bring me some tape. 83 00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:37,770 What's the matter? You ever heard of taping up a diaper before? 84 00:04:38,030 --> 00:04:39,350 Oh, of course I have. 85 00:04:40,470 --> 00:04:42,030 This is really hard. 86 00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,329 I know. 87 00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:44,330 Don't patronize me. 88 00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,730 No, no, no, no. No patronizing. Thank you. 89 00:04:47,150 --> 00:04:50,210 I don't understand why I'm having so much trouble. It seems so simple at the 90 00:04:50,210 --> 00:04:51,930 hospital. Well, you know what? 91 00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:53,330 It's going to be okay. 92 00:04:53,470 --> 00:04:54,470 It is? Yeah. 93 00:04:55,390 --> 00:04:56,470 Okay. Okay. 94 00:04:57,310 --> 00:04:58,310 How does this look? 95 00:04:59,370 --> 00:05:00,370 This. 96 00:05:00,650 --> 00:05:03,950 Liar. You know, when she bends over, everybody will think it's the flag of 97 00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:04,950 Switzerland. That's good. 98 00:05:06,230 --> 00:05:09,230 Where is she? Huh? Hey. Hey, Uncle Ira. 99 00:05:09,530 --> 00:05:12,030 Say hi to Uncle Ira. Hello, sweetie. 100 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:13,730 Hi, Snooki. 101 00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:15,270 Hi, muffin face. 102 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,250 You got a name yet? We're working on it. 103 00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:19,350 Okay. 104 00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:20,590 Swaddling. 105 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:25,960 Place baby diagonally with head above folded corner. 106 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:29,900 I mean, folded corner or the pointy folded corner. 107 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:32,719 Stop watching. 108 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:33,720 Okay. 109 00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:35,280 Kitchen. Sure. 110 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:41,200 So, boys, I got a gift for the baby, huh? Oh, you didn't have to do that. 111 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,520 Whoa, whoa. How much money is in here? 112 00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:44,820 A thousand bucks. 113 00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:46,880 What is she, Connie Corleone? 114 00:05:49,090 --> 00:05:50,230 Well, I want a little bet. 115 00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:52,150 On what? 116 00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:53,650 Women's basketball. 117 00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:56,830 Okay, you should be in a meeting all the time. 118 00:05:57,130 --> 00:05:58,130 Help me. 119 00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:02,370 It's like a cool riddle. It's like some kind of Rubik's Cube. 120 00:06:02,590 --> 00:06:04,590 It cannot be done. Do it. 121 00:06:04,810 --> 00:06:05,970 Okay. Get away. Get away. 122 00:06:06,190 --> 00:06:09,430 Can you swallow my child? Okay. Get out of there. 123 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:12,820 It will be okay. 124 00:06:13,180 --> 00:06:16,160 No, it won't. That is such a bunch of crap about how okay it's going to be. 125 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:17,580 Okay. You want to hear a little secret? 126 00:06:17,940 --> 00:06:19,300 As parents, we may suck. 127 00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:23,480 First of all, can I just say, I think you're doing great. I do not. Yes, I do. 128 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,480 You do not? Yes, Ira, don't I think she's doing great? Please don't make me 129 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,480 now. 130 00:06:28,260 --> 00:06:31,800 Look, isn't there somebody we could call? Like a guy, a swaddling guy? 131 00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:34,419 Who is it? 132 00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:38,260 Oh, thank living God. There's a great swaddler right there. Look how life 133 00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:39,740 provides. Hi, Ira. 134 00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:41,060 Carissa. Hi. 135 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:43,050 Hi, it's Weenie! Hi, Mom! 136 00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:45,490 Hi! 137 00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:49,930 How are you? Oh, I'm good, I'm good. 138 00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:51,150 How's the baby? 139 00:06:51,270 --> 00:06:52,270 She's good. 140 00:06:52,810 --> 00:06:53,910 Was the traffic bad? 141 00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:55,810 No, it was very light. 142 00:06:56,050 --> 00:06:58,210 Honey, I can't breathe. 143 00:06:58,410 --> 00:06:59,410 Oh, I'm sorry. 144 00:06:59,870 --> 00:07:03,370 I brought you some things, a tin of casserole and some diapers. 145 00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:05,190 Oh, diapers and casserole, my favorite. 146 00:07:13,739 --> 00:07:15,120 Oh, hello, precious. 147 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,000 Hello, pumpkin. 148 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,080 Hello, sweet cheese. 149 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,160 No names. 150 00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:25,980 Interesting diaper. I know. 151 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,660 You know, it's funny you should say that because anything you can do to show us 152 00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:32,520 how to make it less interesting and more normal, we would love that. Oh, no. 153 00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:35,120 No, no, no, no. 154 00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:37,060 Why not? 155 00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:38,100 Because. 156 00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:43,490 When I had you, my mother butted in big time, and I swore to myself that I would 157 00:07:43,490 --> 00:07:47,310 never, ever, ever be one of those mothers who butt in. No, no, no. Please 158 00:07:47,310 --> 00:07:51,130 in. I need you to butt in. I have no idea what I'm doing. Not a clue. Hey. 159 00:07:51,130 --> 00:07:52,130 saying. 160 00:07:53,510 --> 00:08:00,050 Well, all right, but I'm not going to butt in. I can pitch in, but just 161 00:08:00,050 --> 00:08:03,590 very, very little. That would be great. Pitching in would be what you want. A 162 00:08:03,590 --> 00:08:05,930 little bit of pitching in, please. A little pitching in. Okay. 163 00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:11,030 Would you get the changing table, please, and bring it over here? Got it. 164 00:08:11,130 --> 00:08:15,410 I need some baby wipes, cotton balls, and a dry washcloth. Coming right up. 165 00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:18,250 also some index cards and a magic marker. Okay. 166 00:08:18,590 --> 00:08:21,170 Let's see if Grandma can still cut it. 167 00:08:21,390 --> 00:08:22,650 All right, sweetheart. 168 00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:28,950 Here we go, darling. Yes, here we go. Okay, now, the key to diapering is a 169 00:08:28,950 --> 00:08:30,050 simple mnemonic divide. 170 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,309 F -W -E -E -T. 171 00:08:32,669 --> 00:08:34,210 Sweet. Sweet. Yes? 172 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:35,470 Survey. 173 00:08:36,179 --> 00:08:37,559 W -Y -E. 174 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,039 Entertain the baby. 175 00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:48,860 Ease out, Mr. Old Dirty Diaper. T -Tie up, Mr. Old Dirty Diaper. And send him 176 00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:49,880 his way. 177 00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:52,660 How is it me again? 178 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,940 Now, it's time for Mr. Clean Diaper. 179 00:08:58,980 --> 00:09:02,320 You're so glad you're here. Believe me, this is such a... Somebody was done 180 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,320 already. 181 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,760 You may want to write that down. Hey, that's what I'm doing. 182 00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:13,720 Now, swaddling is simple. Just think of the word tuba. 183 00:09:14,260 --> 00:09:18,020 Tuck under both arms. This is just brilliant. 184 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,240 Look at that. Tuba. 185 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:26,800 Now it's time to discuss the crib placement. Mom, I'm so thrilled with my 186 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,480 and my tuba. I'm just going to perfect that for a while. All right, honey. I'm 187 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:34,420 going to go wash my hands again. Remember, always wash your hands and 188 00:09:34,780 --> 00:09:36,160 Are we off? 189 00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:41,420 What? Oh, oh, oh, oh, y 'all. Oh, y 'all. Oh, y 'all. 190 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,640 No, honey, that was just talking. 191 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,440 Oh, that's not a thing. Okay. 192 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:49,640 Honey, 193 00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:51,140 would you help me, please? 194 00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:53,619 Who's that? 195 00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:54,620 It's me. 196 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,380 Bert. Bert Buckman. 197 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:57,600 Your father. 198 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,360 Come in, family. Hi. 199 00:10:00,580 --> 00:10:01,600 Oh, hi. Hello. 200 00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:04,920 Hello. There she is. 201 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,380 Oh, hello, doll face. 202 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:08,960 Hello, sugar. 203 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,100 Hello there. 204 00:10:11,540 --> 00:10:12,800 No name yet? No, 205 00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:14,940 they got books now. 206 00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:16,820 Great. 207 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,180 You like tuna casserole? Apparently, tremendously. 208 00:10:20,380 --> 00:10:22,920 What is this? Oh, your mother. She's down in the lobby. 209 00:10:23,260 --> 00:10:24,540 What's she doing down in the lobby? 210 00:10:24,740 --> 00:10:25,740 Hello. 211 00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:35,970 I have what I believe to be the beginnings of a cold, and I don't want 212 00:10:35,970 --> 00:10:36,909 the baby sick. 213 00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:38,650 That's very considerate of you, Sylvia. 214 00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:42,730 Oh, not at all. I'm just so glad to be here in the lobby. 215 00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:48,990 Later, Bert will describe my grandchild to me. Bert, did you give them the 216 00:10:48,990 --> 00:10:50,030 casserole and the book? 217 00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:51,650 Oh, yeah, yeah. 218 00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:55,490 What is it? There's more tuna? Why don't we put these in the fridge? Yeah, you 219 00:10:55,490 --> 00:10:57,930 know what? Put it next to its friends, the other casserole. 220 00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:00,510 Yeah. 221 00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:03,770 So I can hear. 222 00:11:04,570 --> 00:11:05,569 Tape it. 223 00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:08,530 Sure. Okay, Ma. Can I say hello to the baby? 224 00:11:08,810 --> 00:11:12,350 Sure. Hold her up to the microphone so she can hear me. 225 00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:15,670 Oh, you know, she can hear you. She can hear you, Ma. Believe me. Babies in 226 00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:18,990 Japan can hear you. Hold her up to the microphone. I'm holding her. 227 00:11:20,170 --> 00:11:23,130 Sir, is he holding her up? Uh -huh. 228 00:11:23,570 --> 00:11:25,330 Fine. Leave her in the bassinet. 229 00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:27,530 Hello, sweetheart. 230 00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:36,220 Girl, these parents should stop fooling around and pick a name already. 231 00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:37,940 Murray, 232 00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:39,940 what are you doing down there? 233 00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:44,060 Murray, it's me, Bert. 234 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,320 Bert Bachman, Paul's father. 235 00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,600 What's the matter with him? He's sulking or something. 236 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:51,960 He's scared of the baby. 237 00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:53,380 Murray. 238 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,360 Some nut. 239 00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,240 Oh, hi, Bert. 240 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,500 Hello. 241 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:06,560 Is this a good time now? Good time to discuss crib placement and its impact on 242 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,560 her IQ. 243 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:09,240 Oh, hello. 244 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,000 Hi. Look who's here. It's the gals. 245 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:20,140 You know, I think it's just wonderful how the two of you are sticking with it. 246 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:25,360 Jamie, we need a refrigerator allocation discussion. 247 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,900 This cottage cheese, sentimental value? We were wondering because it's blue now. 248 00:12:29,020 --> 00:12:30,520 Okay, I'll be right there. 249 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,380 Will you excuse me for one second? 250 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,280 If it would help, I could eat something. 251 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:35,620 Try the casserole. 252 00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:41,340 I'm going to go. What do you mean? No, no, no, no. Where are you going now? No, 253 00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:42,580 Jamie doesn't want me here. 254 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,320 You know, excuse... Hello? 255 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,360 Listen, I'd like to make a suggestion. 256 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:51,080 Ma, hang on one second. Believe me, she really does. I swear to you. You know, I 257 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:54,480 went through a similar thing with my mother. Yeah, okay, Ma, you know, it's 258 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,420 to hear you now because I can't... You're breaking up. 259 00:12:56,620 --> 00:13:03,030 I found that if I just... Jamie. very much wants you here. No, she doesn't. 260 00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:04,030 She's just being polite. 261 00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:05,490 Not true. 262 00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:08,490 Paul, she's got you. You know what to do. 263 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:12,450 Come on, you're a natural father. 264 00:13:12,770 --> 00:13:16,690 Well, you can become a natural. I don't think so. 265 00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:20,030 You've got all these books. You can read books. 266 00:13:20,230 --> 00:13:21,370 Yeah, but the books are not real. 267 00:13:23,590 --> 00:13:24,590 They have pictures. 268 00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:26,270 Even the pictures? Pretty pictures. 269 00:13:27,130 --> 00:13:33,830 When you and Jamie, you can take... So, you want me to stay? 270 00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:36,650 Stay. 271 00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,270 Time to feed the baby. 272 00:13:57,450 --> 00:14:01,490 You have to feed her every two and three quarter hours. In other words, now. So, 273 00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:05,430 come on. Up and out. No, no, no, no, no, no. I was going to feed her every four 274 00:14:05,430 --> 00:14:09,330 hours or when she cries. You know, every two or three. If you want your baby to 275 00:14:09,330 --> 00:14:10,450 have to cry for her meals. 276 00:14:11,230 --> 00:14:17,390 I don't want her to have to cry. Well, the crying is about to begin, so it's up 277 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,390 to you. 278 00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:19,950 Okay, okay. 279 00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:22,030 So, we're up, we're up, we're up, we're up. 280 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:29,660 We're going to go over here to mine. Oh, my gosh, she's beautiful. 281 00:14:29,860 --> 00:14:33,880 Honey, honey, you don't want her to just take the nipples. You want her to take 282 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,900 the entire areola. I know, I know. 283 00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,140 She's just the most beautiful. 284 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:57,560 Look at her. 285 00:14:58,420 --> 00:14:59,620 What a thing, huh? 286 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,160 What a thing this is. 287 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:04,560 Man, I'm hungry. 288 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:12,960 How we doing? 289 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,680 Just love this so much. 290 00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:17,080 Hey, little baby. 291 00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:18,460 Treasure. 292 00:15:20,980 --> 00:15:21,980 That's enough. 293 00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:24,820 Mom, I think she's still hungry. Honey. 294 00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:26,330 Honey, no, no, that's enough. 295 00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:27,950 Okay, sweetie. 296 00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:29,810 Okay, sweetie. 297 00:15:30,810 --> 00:15:33,070 Okay. Okay, honey. Oh, yeah. 298 00:15:33,550 --> 00:15:34,550 Oh, yeah. 299 00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:40,730 All right. Now, Paul, after the meal comes... Pie? 300 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,050 Burping. Burping. Okay, yeah. All right. I knew that one, too. 301 00:15:46,270 --> 00:15:51,050 The best way to burp, darling, is put her on your lap, and here's how you 302 00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:51,959 remember it. 303 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:56,260 Gently rub, evenly pat, securely held. Or grips. 304 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,980 Okay. I think that's my favorite one so far. 305 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,980 I think I'm just going to burp her on my shoulder. That would be unfortunate. 306 00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:05,700 I think it's a perfectly good way to do it. 307 00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:09,060 Well, yes, unless you'd like her to actually burp. 308 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,260 Mom, I'm going to burp my child on my shoulder, okay? 309 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:14,840 Fine. 310 00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:18,260 Fine. 311 00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:19,660 Here we go. 312 00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:23,200 Oh, now, don't you mutter at me, Missy. If it were up to me, I wouldn't even be 313 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:27,440 here. But when I wanted to leave a long time ago, your husband wouldn't let me 314 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,440 out the door. 315 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,280 Is that true? 316 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,159 Excuse us? 317 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,099 You know what, sweetie? 318 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,100 You know what? Stay. 319 00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:43,300 Hi, Sylvia. 320 00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:46,060 Oh, my God. I didn't want the baby to catch my cold. 321 00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:47,840 I can't believe you're still here. 322 00:17:04,170 --> 00:17:05,670 Goodness, she's so beautiful. 323 00:17:07,130 --> 00:17:08,790 I can go home now. Thank you. 324 00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:10,010 You're welcome. 325 00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,290 No. 326 00:17:11,770 --> 00:17:14,710 I mean... Thank you. 327 00:17:18,030 --> 00:17:21,770 All right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Just say it. I'm saying 328 00:17:21,770 --> 00:17:25,010 I'm very sorry. Just say you're scared I'm not going to be a good mother. 329 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,210 That's not even true. 330 00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:27,410 You know you want to say it. 331 00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:29,850 You're not supposed to be it yet. What? 332 00:17:30,990 --> 00:17:31,990 Nothing. Good? 333 00:17:32,930 --> 00:17:38,980 Yeah. Aha. Okay, you happy now? So now I, you know, I tell your mother to go 334 00:17:38,980 --> 00:17:39,980 home. 335 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,800 What? I'm going to go upstairs and I'll say, listen, we don't need you. We're 336 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:43,800 fine. Go home. 337 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:44,960 And then what? 338 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,160 Then she goes home. 339 00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:47,620 And then what? 340 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:48,840 Then we're in charge. 341 00:17:49,780 --> 00:17:50,780 What, are you kidding me? 342 00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:56,340 She's the only person in this house with any clue how to care for a human life. 343 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,800 Yeah, okay, right now, but... I cannot even get this child to burp. Hey, she'll 344 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,800 burp. 345 00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:05,950 Any luck? No, not yet. 346 00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:12,450 You 347 00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:21,650 know 348 00:18:21,650 --> 00:18:22,770 what it's like? 349 00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:27,270 Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Perfect. 350 00:18:27,870 --> 00:18:33,710 You know how... Honey, before you pull something, I think you can go home now. 351 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,320 Really? Yeah. 352 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,340 You want me to go? 353 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:46,220 I just wish I could be sure you'd be all right without me. Well, we can't. 354 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,480 I'll leave in the morning. 355 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,180 What a little goddess you are. Even I feel better now. 356 00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:01,020 Hold the lift. 357 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:21,579 What's its name? 358 00:19:21,580 --> 00:19:22,580 They don't know yet. 359 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,880 Coochie, coochie, coochie, coo. 360 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:33,360 Well, 361 00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:38,380 good night then. 362 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,660 I've got a couple more mnemonics. Maybe I can give them to you now. Sure, Mom. 363 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:48,890 Good. Now, as to... the temperature of the room she sleeps in, remember, cooler 364 00:19:48,890 --> 00:19:50,430 really is better. 365 00:19:50,910 --> 00:19:51,910 Crib. 366 00:19:52,390 --> 00:19:56,830 And the most important one of all, whenever you go anywhere, no matter what 367 00:19:56,830 --> 00:20:01,690 you're packing, just remember, mothers always bring extra love. 368 00:20:03,330 --> 00:20:05,530 Marble. Okay. Marble. 369 00:20:07,950 --> 00:20:11,530 Mabel. Mabel. Oh, I like that. I love that. 370 00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:13,630 That wasn't so difficult. 371 00:20:18,090 --> 00:20:22,290 And so we are thrilled and excited to tell you that after an exhaustive 372 00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:24,210 we have finally named our child. 373 00:20:24,570 --> 00:20:25,570 Well, there we go. 374 00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:29,530 We would like you all to meet Mabel. 375 00:21:06,540 --> 00:21:07,540 Eureka! 26158