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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,319 --> 00:00:02,560 Previously on Mad About You. 2 00:00:49,580 --> 00:00:53,320 Tell me why I love you like I do. 3 00:00:53,540 --> 00:00:57,300 Tell me who can stop my heart as much as you. 4 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:02,320 Take each other's hand as we jump into the final frontier. 5 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:05,500 I'm mad about you, baby. 6 00:01:10,740 --> 00:01:15,620 Get out of here. 7 00:01:17,340 --> 00:01:18,340 You get out of here. 8 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:20,480 Oh, get out of here. 9 00:01:21,220 --> 00:01:22,400 You get out of here. 10 00:01:23,820 --> 00:01:24,820 Come here. 11 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:32,780 Get out of here. 12 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,620 My God, so what are you saying? Wait a second. What are you telling me? You're 13 00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:41,060 pregnant? So there's like an actual little you and me combination right in 14 00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:42,060 there? 15 00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:45,420 Oh, my God. This is, you know, this is just so... Poetic. 16 00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:49,120 Yeah, but it's so, you know... It's magical. 17 00:01:49,540 --> 00:01:54,100 Yeah, no, it definitely is. What am I thinking? It's like the way it all 18 00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:55,100 Sublime. 19 00:01:56,860 --> 00:01:57,860 What? 20 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,140 It's... This is good. 21 00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:12,720 Who is it? 22 00:02:16,110 --> 00:02:18,410 Oh, man, what is he doing here now? I don't know, but you know what? This is 23 00:02:18,410 --> 00:02:21,210 perfect. So Ira will be the first person we get to tell. Wait, wait, wait, wait, 24 00:02:21,330 --> 00:02:23,670 wait, wait. We're just telling people that's what we're doing? 25 00:02:23,890 --> 00:02:24,890 Yeah, why wouldn't we? 26 00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:26,290 I don't know. 27 00:02:26,350 --> 00:02:28,450 Come on, they're going to figure it out eventually. We'll show up one day, we've 28 00:02:28,450 --> 00:02:29,530 got a seven -year -old, they're going to know. 29 00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:32,350 Let's just keep it between us for now. 30 00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:33,970 Hey, you guys, open up. 31 00:02:34,410 --> 00:02:35,289 Wait, wait, why? 32 00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:39,610 Why? A million reasons. First of all, we don't know anything for sure. As of 33 00:02:39,610 --> 00:02:42,310 now, the only real news is that I've successfully peed on a stick. 34 00:02:43,010 --> 00:02:46,920 What? We don't even have confirmation from a gynecologist. Mark is in Europe. 35 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,059 He'll be back? 36 00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:50,560 In three months. We should probably find out before then. 37 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,020 All right. 38 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:58,000 I can't believe you want to tell. You're the superstitious one. You know, 39 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,000 telling is bad luck. 40 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,040 Is that true? Yes, you don't tell this early. 41 00:03:01,740 --> 00:03:02,860 How many times have you done this? 42 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,740 You're supposed to wait three months in, four months in. There's a reason for 43 00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:11,140 that. You know, things can happen. Things can go wrong. You're supposed to 44 00:03:12,270 --> 00:03:13,270 Open the stand door. 45 00:03:14,390 --> 00:03:16,210 All right, listen, you know, it's your stick. 46 00:03:16,510 --> 00:03:17,510 It's your urine. 47 00:03:19,310 --> 00:03:20,730 Come on, all right. Hey, 48 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:24,030 by the way, nice going. 49 00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:25,290 You too. 50 00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:30,010 All right, that's it. Stay. I think I'm bleeding. 51 00:03:30,330 --> 00:03:31,870 My God. Let me get you a band -aid. 52 00:03:32,110 --> 00:03:33,110 What happened to you? 53 00:03:33,210 --> 00:03:36,650 I'm walking down the street, minding my own business. Some lady yells out, hey, 54 00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:37,670 Jose. 55 00:03:37,770 --> 00:03:39,850 I don't know why, but I turn around. 56 00:03:40,990 --> 00:03:41,990 You're not Jose. 57 00:03:42,769 --> 00:03:45,950 Exactly. But she's swinging at me, swinging at me. I'm covering myself up. 58 00:03:45,950 --> 00:03:47,630 saying, I'm not Jose. I am not Jose. 59 00:03:47,890 --> 00:03:48,890 Do I look like Jose? 60 00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:51,250 I don't understand, because you're not Jose. 61 00:03:51,490 --> 00:03:55,610 I know, but she thinks that I'm Jose, Paulie. She's hitting me and grabbing 62 00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:56,910 and she's cursing at me in Spanish. 63 00:03:59,150 --> 00:04:01,090 Is it possible that I am Jose? 64 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:03,769 You're not Jose. 65 00:04:03,770 --> 00:04:06,810 And what the hell took you two so long to answer the door? Oh, sorry. 66 00:04:07,030 --> 00:04:08,450 We were just... Debating. 67 00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:10,480 Debating? More like discussing. 68 00:04:10,820 --> 00:04:11,638 Discussing, debating. 69 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,140 Debating, discussing, speculating. 70 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,140 Speculating. Speculating on what? Whatever. Who remembers even now? 71 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:18,839 What's going on? 72 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:22,920 Nothing. Oh, Paulie, come on. I know something's going on. All right. Nothing 73 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,020 going on? Nothing is going on. 74 00:04:26,460 --> 00:04:27,500 Something is going on. 75 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:32,040 All right. Something is going on. Nothing is going on. Nothing is going 76 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,300 All right. We're going to tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anybody. 77 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,320 What are you doing? I thought you said nothing is going on. He knows something 78 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,249 is going on. 79 00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:39,350 Oh, something is going on. 80 00:04:39,590 --> 00:04:41,810 The truth is... And this is really something. 81 00:04:42,230 --> 00:04:43,850 We have to find a new gynecologist. 82 00:04:45,210 --> 00:04:46,210 How about that? 83 00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:52,590 Mark and Fran are in Europe, and so we're... Is everything okay? Yes, yes, 84 00:04:52,590 --> 00:04:53,590 everything's fine. 85 00:04:53,650 --> 00:04:56,010 Everything's great. It's just a little... It's a personal matter. 86 00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:57,470 Personal matter? 87 00:04:57,510 --> 00:04:59,530 It's a personal, private, delicate matter. It's a woman thing. 88 00:05:00,350 --> 00:05:01,350 Say no more. 89 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,160 I've been going through the yellow pages of Friends recommendations, that 90 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,480 article in New York Magazine on the best doctors in New York. Hey, hey, hey. 91 00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:11,460 What about Joan? 92 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,040 Joan who what? Debbie's Joan? Yeah, yeah. She's a gynecologist. 93 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:16,300 Yeah. So? 94 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,140 Yeah, but she'll... No, right? I don't think so. What? Yeah, well, it's just 95 00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:23,180 weird. Yeah, I mean, Joan is... She's my sister's girlfriend. She's, you know, 96 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,100 she's family. You don't... You don't want to go to family for something like 97 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:30,220 this. You know, if we're a foot or, God forbid, a shoulder, fine. 98 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,460 You know, then you can go see a friend or an uncle or whatever. Or something 99 00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:35,360 like this. Yeah, something like this. To me, anything that involves the removing 100 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,300 of the underwear, you know, you don't want to mess around. 101 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:41,720 And plus, Jamie is going to have the best. Of course. 102 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,620 You know what I mean? You don't have to have the best house or the best car or 103 00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:47,440 the best, you know, piece of chicken. Hey, you don't want a bad piece of 104 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:48,440 chicken? Certainly not. 105 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,560 But you understand what I'm saying. You want the best. Exactly. 106 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,440 I understand. In fact, I can help you. 107 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,900 What, because you have a good gynecologist? 108 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,900 No, no, but I can help find you one. 109 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:03,180 I will find you the best gynecologist in New York City. Oh, you know what? You 110 00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:06,260 don't have to do that. Come on. It'll be a pleasure. Billy, you don't have to do 111 00:06:06,260 --> 00:06:08,060 that. Please, allow me to do this for you. 112 00:06:09,140 --> 00:06:10,980 There's no reason really that you should be... Hello? 113 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,200 Jose, 114 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:17,560 it's for you. 115 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,220 Okay, this is for Thursday. We've got Dr. 116 00:06:25,460 --> 00:06:29,560 Keffler at 10, then I'll meet you at Dr. Kalsa at 1, and at 3, Dr. No. 117 00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:32,240 Dr. No? Are you going to use Sean Connery's gynecologist? 118 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,640 N -O -H. He's Korean. 119 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,020 Just making a joke. Don't be offended. 120 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:41,240 We might have to go with one of these guys if we can't get in to see Dr. 121 00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:42,380 Vonderfall. Dr. 122 00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:43,660 Vonderfall. 123 00:06:44,860 --> 00:06:47,700 Got to make fun of every name or what? No, but come on. Dr. 124 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,100 Vonderfall? He's asking for it. 125 00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:50,329 He's the guy. 126 00:06:50,330 --> 00:06:53,350 I was telling you about who's the best. New York Magazine did a whole profile 127 00:06:53,350 --> 00:06:55,050 just on him. He was on Nightline. 128 00:06:55,450 --> 00:06:59,190 Anthony Edwards' character in ER is based on this guy. Is that true? Yes. 129 00:06:59,730 --> 00:07:00,730 That's so cool. 130 00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:05,230 Well, hey, listen. Van Der Fal is the guy, and he's the best. And Van Der Fal 131 00:07:05,230 --> 00:07:07,230 the Van. Van Der Fal. Dr. Van Der Fal? 132 00:07:07,730 --> 00:07:08,509 Hey, Dad. 133 00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:09,489 Hi. 134 00:07:09,490 --> 00:07:12,850 Hi. Yeah. Van Der Fal. You're going to see Dr. Van Der Fal? Is it Van Der Fal, 135 00:07:12,870 --> 00:07:14,030 Doctor, or is it Van Der Fal? 136 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,680 Because either way, it's quite wonderful. 137 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,320 It's nothing. It's just a little... It's a woman thing. 138 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,880 I should think so. And Mark's out of town, so we're just going to see him. 139 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:23,859 don't you go see Joan? 140 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:24,860 I'll get you an appointment. 141 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,940 No, that's okay. We don't want to bother you. Oh, no bother. I'll call her right 142 00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:30,200 after lunch. You shouldn't go out of your way, because Mark will be... 143 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,200 it done. 144 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:33,560 So... 145 00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:38,850 Only 96 hours, 15 minutes and 12 seconds until Mom and Dad finally meet, Joan. 146 00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:42,150 Relax. I'm sure the big news was that you have a girlfriend. 147 00:07:42,610 --> 00:07:46,210 Now you're just, you know, giving them a face to attach to all the sleepless 148 00:07:46,210 --> 00:07:47,330 nights spent crying. 149 00:07:47,910 --> 00:07:48,749 Thank you. 150 00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:51,270 See how nice I am when you come out of the closet. 151 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:59,970 What does she mean by that? Anyway, for the big Joan meeting, I still can't 152 00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:01,150 decide. Dinner or lunch? 153 00:08:01,610 --> 00:08:02,610 Lunch. 154 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,020 Yes? Lunch. 155 00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:05,840 Definitely. Daylight. 156 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:10,040 Okay. Because I have it down to two restaurants. 157 00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:11,940 Tavern on the Green. Nope. No? 158 00:08:12,580 --> 00:08:14,960 A restaurant, a neutral location, uh -uh. 159 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:18,860 Neutral location, uh -uh. Neutral locations will eat you alive. 160 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:20,840 This is interesting. 161 00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:23,320 You need the home field advantage, your own backyard. 162 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:28,160 Yes, because then she can't ambush me in my own living room. She can, but it's a 163 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:29,160 little bit more difficult. 164 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:34,110 Okay. Listen to her. She's very clever about this. Yes, yes. This is exactly 165 00:08:34,110 --> 00:08:37,190 what I'm going to do. I'm going to have a nice, sit -down lunch. No, no, no, no, 166 00:08:37,230 --> 00:08:38,510 no, no, no. No, no, no. 167 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:40,870 Buffet. Buffet. Buffet, buffet, buffet. 168 00:08:41,110 --> 00:08:43,490 It mollifies her. It gives her the illusion of control. 169 00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:46,850 This is exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to go cancel the reservation. 170 00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:49,350 And while I'm doing it, I'm going to call Dr. 171 00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,990 Joan. Oh, no, no, no. Before you do that, you know what? 172 00:08:52,190 --> 00:08:53,390 Okay, now she's going to call Joan. 173 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,190 I knew we weren't going to get out of it. 174 00:08:55,730 --> 00:08:57,010 Very nice advice you were giving her. 175 00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:58,250 Won't do her any good. 176 00:08:58,350 --> 00:08:59,350 Why is that? 177 00:08:59,470 --> 00:09:01,950 She's bringing a nice young woman home to your mother. 178 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,490 Ha! She's dead. 179 00:09:05,150 --> 00:09:08,410 You don't seem so much broken up about it. No, no, no. I'm very sad. 180 00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:12,650 What's wrong with you? I'm sorry. 181 00:09:12,870 --> 00:09:16,870 I'm sorry, but since the day I joined your family, I've been at the bottom of 182 00:09:16,870 --> 00:09:20,330 your mother's totem pole. I'm looking forward to moving up a notch. Don't get 183 00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:21,730 wrong. It's terrible for Joan. 184 00:09:22,090 --> 00:09:23,250 I feel really bad. 185 00:09:33,930 --> 00:09:35,610 Yes, it's official. You're pregnant. 186 00:09:36,290 --> 00:09:37,290 Hey. Hey. 187 00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:40,370 I'm telling you, those sticks are going to put me out of business. 188 00:09:40,630 --> 00:09:42,870 Four weeks, you were right, just like you said. 189 00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:44,510 Good HCG levels. 190 00:09:44,730 --> 00:09:45,870 Everything seems normal. 191 00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,150 Congratulations. 192 00:09:47,290 --> 00:09:50,310 Okay, well, thank you. So you told Debbie you had a little, uh... 193 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,960 Woman thing. Very good. And it's because you're not ready to tell the family 194 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,540 yet? Exactly. I understand. I always advise my patients to lie to those 195 00:09:57,540 --> 00:09:58,139 to them. 196 00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,940 Just because you never know. So I'm going to write you a prescription for 197 00:10:00,940 --> 00:10:04,000 prenatal vitamins, and you should make an appointment to see me in about two 198 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,360 weeks. Okay? Okay. 199 00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:06,760 You're lying right now, aren't you? 200 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:08,880 No, we're not. 201 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,300 We are actually a little bit. 202 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:14,780 Sure. I mean, you're interviewing a whole bunch of OBGYNs, and the only 203 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,760 I'm among them is because Debbie foisted me on you. No, no, no, no, no, no. 204 00:10:17,780 --> 00:10:18,780 That's not it. 205 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:23,950 Kind of. It's a little bit. You're probably going to see Dr. Wonderful. No, 206 00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:25,010 no, no, no. 207 00:10:25,410 --> 00:10:26,410 Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I think. 208 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:31,430 Okay, here. Take your vitamins, get plenty of rest, and work on the line. 209 00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:34,930 And if you choose to come back, call the office. If not, I'll see you at the 210 00:10:34,930 --> 00:10:35,930 luncheon. 211 00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:38,070 Take care. Thank you. You too. 212 00:10:38,350 --> 00:10:39,770 We'll call you. No, you won't. 213 00:10:40,790 --> 00:10:42,170 Nobody need for coffee or something. 214 00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:48,660 Oh, that's great. I mean, really, really great. Yeah. 215 00:10:50,140 --> 00:10:52,560 Listen, let me ask you something. 216 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:53,760 Yeah? 217 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,280 Who's your gynecologist? 218 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:03,080 What? I mean, we're getting closer. We've become very intimate. I want to 219 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,880 everything there is to know about you. 220 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,260 Where'd you go to school? 221 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:07,520 Where you from? 222 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:09,560 Who's your gynecologist? 223 00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:12,060 Liar. 224 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,239 Who is? 225 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,400 It's Debbie and Joan. 226 00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:18,199 All right. 227 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,320 You have a fish knife. 228 00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:22,880 Why do you say it like that? You have a fish knife. I know you don't buy to me. 229 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:27,220 I gave it to you. Just admit it. Unless you sold it, you have one. She's very 230 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,200 nervous about the lunch. Oh, then by all means, let's give her a sharp knife. 231 00:11:30,660 --> 00:11:32,540 I'm not nervous about the lunch. 232 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,960 I'm serving trout, which is a huge gamble. You know, delicious, yes, but 233 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,580 bones than, than, than, than what, what, what, what has a lot of bones? 234 00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:40,820 Skeleton, big skeleton. 235 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,660 Okay, okay, here we go. Everybody take it easy. It's all going to be fine. 236 00:11:45,180 --> 00:11:45,679 Thank you. 237 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,460 Do you need anything else? No. 238 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,320 No. 239 00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:52,060 No. What about the casserole dish? Casserole dish. 240 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,400 Here, 241 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,420 here, here you go. Here you go. Here you go. 242 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:57,880 Okay. 243 00:11:58,440 --> 00:11:59,440 Anything else? 244 00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:00,540 No. 245 00:12:00,860 --> 00:12:01,860 No. 246 00:12:01,980 --> 00:12:05,140 No. What about the garlic press? Garlic press. Here you go. 247 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:09,720 Here you go. Here you go. All right. 248 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,020 Anything else? Anything else? 249 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,840 A wick. A wick. Wait. 250 00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:20,760 What about a gallon of wine? 251 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:23,240 You know, they're not heavy drinkers. It's for me now. 252 00:12:24,340 --> 00:12:27,580 She's nervous about the lunch. I'm not nervous about the lunch. All right, I'm 253 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,900 nervous. I don't know why I'm nervous. 254 00:12:29,860 --> 00:12:31,760 Mom's going to meet Joan. Well, maybe that's why. 255 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,660 All right, you guys, what should we drink to? 256 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,000 To your family. My family. 257 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:41,720 Dysfunctional, judgmental, intolerant, oppressive, petty and small. 258 00:12:41,980 --> 00:12:43,800 Yes, but we get everything when they die. 259 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,780 Oh, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. Oh, my God. 260 00:12:51,869 --> 00:12:55,430 What? Antibiotics. I put her on antibiotics for the, um... It's a woman 261 00:12:57,450 --> 00:12:58,450 Cute. 262 00:12:58,870 --> 00:13:03,490 What? Oh, hello. No, you're the doctor. You're giving them little antibiotics. 263 00:13:03,770 --> 00:13:07,630 You're taking care of my brother's wife. It's cute. I like it. It makes me 264 00:13:07,630 --> 00:13:11,210 happy. Okay, but you know what, Deb, actually? What? We're actually... 265 00:13:11,210 --> 00:13:12,210 they're still looking around. 266 00:13:12,490 --> 00:13:14,550 What do you mean you're looking around? You've got the best doctor in the city 267 00:13:14,550 --> 00:13:17,050 right here. No, no, I know that. We're not looking around. We're just exploring 268 00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:19,310 our office. Oh, well, so long as you're not looking around. 269 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,550 Deb. Yeah, this is hugely insulting. 270 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:27,110 Debbie. It is not insulting. I'm sorry, but it is. You're saying that you don't 271 00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:29,730 trust my judgment in people and that you don't think Joan is a good enough 272 00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:32,890 doctor. That's not what they're saying. That's exactly what they're saying. Can 273 00:13:32,890 --> 00:13:33,890 I have the knife, please? 274 00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:36,770 I have to go to the bathroom. 275 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,800 She's nervous about the lunch. 276 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:46,760 Did you ever have to make up your mind? 277 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:51,360 Pick up on one and leave the other behind. 278 00:13:51,940 --> 00:13:58,620 It's not often easy and not often kind. Did you ever have to make up your mind? 279 00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:03,820 Did you ever have to finally decide? Look at this place. It's like a museum. 280 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,920 Okay, can I say one thing? Picasso. 281 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,800 It's a woman giving birth to her own face. 282 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,020 This is the fanciest room I've ever been in in my entire life. 283 00:14:17,260 --> 00:14:18,600 Okay, see, now I want to be a woman. 284 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,820 All right, sit down, sit down. He's going to come in in a minute. Sit down. 285 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:22,820 sitting, I'm sitting. 286 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:25,840 What's wrong with your hair? 287 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,540 What? It looks weird. It's not. It's pointy. Leave it alone. Why is it 288 00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:30,540 Leave it alone. Go like this. 289 00:14:30,580 --> 00:14:31,580 Go like this. 290 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:32,840 Pat it down on the back. I am. 291 00:14:33,180 --> 00:14:34,180 Pat it. 292 00:14:35,359 --> 00:14:38,420 Hello. You must be Paul and Jamie. 293 00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:40,020 You must be Dr. Vonderfall. 294 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:45,360 Is it Vonderfall or Vonderful? Because I got to tell you, either way, it's quite 295 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:46,360 what? 296 00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:55,240 Yeah, two of the glazed. 297 00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:57,180 Glazed. 298 00:14:57,620 --> 00:14:58,660 And anything else? 299 00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,320 Yeah, yeah, one of the twists. 300 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,720 And anything else? 301 00:15:05,230 --> 00:15:06,350 Uh, yeah. 302 00:15:06,590 --> 00:15:11,090 Yeah, as a matter of fact, uh, who's your gynecologist? 303 00:15:16,930 --> 00:15:19,630 Who is it? 304 00:15:19,930 --> 00:15:21,370 It's Bert and Sylvia. 305 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:24,110 Bert and Sylvia Burtman, your parents. 306 00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:26,010 She knows. 307 00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:29,030 Hi. Why are you screaming? We're not that old. 308 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:33,810 Wow, have you changed this place since I was here? 309 00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:39,690 Got a new sofa, new lamp, new club chair. Where is she? 310 00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:42,090 Hi, everyone. 311 00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:45,990 My Lord, you are a strapping young woman. 312 00:15:48,590 --> 00:15:51,070 Hello. Hi, I'm Joan. 313 00:15:51,390 --> 00:15:54,370 I'm Debbie's mother, Sylvia Buckman. 314 00:15:55,670 --> 00:16:01,030 And I'm Bert, Bert Buckman, Sylvia's husband and also Debbie's father. 315 00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:02,350 Can you imagine? 316 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,130 Here, let me take your coat, Mrs. Bachman. 317 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:07,530 Sylvia, please. 318 00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:12,150 Sylvia. Thank you. And Mr. Bachman. You want my coat? I do. 319 00:16:12,590 --> 00:16:14,030 Hey, how about this? 320 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,490 You know, I'll miss the bottom of the totem pole. 321 00:16:20,570 --> 00:16:22,390 Really? No, not really. 322 00:16:25,230 --> 00:16:28,070 What the hell was that? 323 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:35,900 Don't be, she's delightful. 324 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,500 I don't want to go in. 325 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,500 Are you going to come in or are you going to explore your options? 326 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:47,500 We brought cake. 327 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,840 Put it over there. 328 00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:51,840 Listen, what's the matter? It's nothing. It's not nothing, it's something. 329 00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:53,260 Okay, do we have to discuss this right now? 330 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,540 No, we don't have to discuss this now. Let's eat. 331 00:16:55,860 --> 00:16:57,060 Good, I'm starving. 332 00:16:57,660 --> 00:16:58,660 Me too. 333 00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:01,870 Look at those beautiful dishes. 334 00:17:02,090 --> 00:17:03,450 Where did you get that? 335 00:17:03,710 --> 00:17:07,430 Rhinebeck, the crafts fair. Oh, I love it there. We go there, remember, Bert? 336 00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:08,609 No. 337 00:17:09,230 --> 00:17:11,230 Is this that soy cheese? 338 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:13,810 Yes. Bert, this is that soy cheese. 339 00:17:14,030 --> 00:17:15,030 Great. 340 00:17:15,109 --> 00:17:16,390 I heard about this. 341 00:17:16,630 --> 00:17:20,490 Where did you get it? Oh, a little place uptown. I stopped in right after Jamie 342 00:17:20,490 --> 00:17:23,230 said they were looking for a new gynecologist, and it wouldn't be Joan. 343 00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:28,780 Well, it's nothing. It's nothing. What is this, aspic? Uh -huh. Yeah, I got 344 00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:32,160 right after Paul said Joan wouldn't do that they needed to shop around. 345 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:33,960 Sylvia, you can understand. 346 00:17:34,180 --> 00:17:35,180 Understand what? 347 00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:38,360 My position is very... No, no, no. I do not understand. 348 00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:42,120 Joan is your sister -in -law, essentially. 349 00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:49,080 Really? Not only that, but if I may, she's a lesbian. She knows about these 350 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,080 things, right? 351 00:17:53,790 --> 00:17:55,330 Yes, thank you. 352 00:17:55,690 --> 00:17:59,510 You know what? I never even thought of that. 353 00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:00,750 See? 354 00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:03,130 You got some kind of problem with Joan? 355 00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:07,090 No, no, no, no, no, no. You know, you would expect a little more open 356 00:18:07,090 --> 00:18:08,570 -mindedness from the liberals. 357 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:14,540 Sylvia, let me just say one thing. What? Now she's a member of a militia group? 358 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:19,340 Only if New York Magazine says it's the best militia group with the nicest bombs 359 00:18:19,340 --> 00:18:21,160 and the most fashionable uniforms. 360 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,640 Okay, look. 361 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:29,160 Paul and Jamie are choosing a doctor, which is a very personal, private 362 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:33,140 It's a decision which could affect the rest of their lives, and that is why no 363 00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:38,460 one, even with the best of intentions, should ever dare to put any pressure on 364 00:18:38,460 --> 00:18:43,270 them. My best professional advice is everybody back off. 365 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:49,250 You know what? 366 00:18:50,030 --> 00:18:51,030 She's right. 367 00:18:54,570 --> 00:18:57,210 Really? You know, she's quite the orator. 368 00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,370 She certainly is. 369 00:19:01,330 --> 00:19:02,410 Bottom of the totem pole. 370 00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:21,220 Let me ask you something. 371 00:19:28,940 --> 00:19:32,100 Someone's going to have to marry a bank -robbing, puppy -kicking serial killer 372 00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:34,400 before I stand any chance of getting in good with your mother. 373 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,260 Just hang in there. Listen, the minute my mother finds out that you are 374 00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:43,960 her genetic material, you're going to fly right to the top of her totem pole. 375 00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:46,860 Or not. 376 00:19:52,129 --> 00:19:53,470 Vonderfall's office, congratulations. 377 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:56,590 Dr. Vonderfall will be able to take you on as a patient. 378 00:19:56,890 --> 00:19:58,370 Please call to arrange an appointment. 379 00:20:01,670 --> 00:20:02,670 Huh. 380 00:20:03,210 --> 00:20:04,470 Can I tell you what I'm thinking? 381 00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:06,790 Joan? Joan. 382 00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:09,830 Yeah, I mean, she's... She's nice. She's really nice. She's competent. She's 383 00:20:09,830 --> 00:20:12,970 competent. She's smart. She's competent. She's kind. Really kind. Very kind. 384 00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:16,570 Like she wouldn't hurt a fly kind of kind. I can see why your sister loves 385 00:20:17,530 --> 00:20:19,730 So, Joan. Joan. Yeah. All right. 386 00:20:19,930 --> 00:20:20,930 There it is. 387 00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:22,040 Hey, we got you a doctor. 388 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,400 That's our very first parental decision. 389 00:20:25,980 --> 00:20:26,980 Look at that. 390 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,460 Um, little person? 391 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,680 Your mother and I have decided to go with Joan. 392 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,620 Okay, that's the second time that happened now. 393 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,940 There's some sort of, like, freakish thing going on there. I'm a little 394 00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:46,940 uncomfortable. 395 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:49,380 I'll tell you this. 396 00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:52,340 It is not information that women part with easily. 397 00:20:58,740 --> 00:20:59,740 What? 398 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,620 The best gynecologist in New York is apparently this guy, Dr. 399 00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:06,440 Vanderfall. Oh, yeah, we know. Yeah, no, we decided we're going to go with Joan. 400 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:07,600 Thanks, though. 401 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:18,519 Hello, Debbie. 402 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:22,460 Yeah, this is your mother. Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that your father and 403 00:21:22,460 --> 00:21:23,820 I thought that Joan was wonderful. 404 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,060 Strapping. Yes. Tell her strapping. 405 00:21:26,580 --> 00:21:31,240 Yeah, she was wonderful and she was charming. Tell her strapping. She's 406 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:32,880 strapping. Thank you already. 407 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,200 But you're not saying. 408 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:35,480 Oh, that's what you said. 409 00:21:35,820 --> 00:21:37,240 Oh, hello, Debbie. 410 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:42,480 Yeah, Joan is charming and wonderful and strapping. 411 00:21:42,980 --> 00:21:44,960 She's a very strapping young woman. 412 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:47,760 In front. 31585