Original subtitles

The film is inspired by a George Courteline's story.

Where the satire on some aspects of the military life in '800

Is developed like a parody.

The film don't want to hit the public institutions and their people.

Everybody sleeping and are already the six.

But what is doing the trumpet? Always the same story.

Every morning. Trumpet! Damned trumpet!

What a lazy!

I send them all to jail, so they learn.

I knew! He dares to sleep.

Have I to wake up you for the reveille, right?! It's 6 o'clock.

6 o 'clock, and even you are sleeping. Stand up!

But who's sleeping. I lay down only to warm up the trumpet.

Then you are going to lay down 2 days in jail so the trumpet it's going to boil. Go play!

Even you?! Even you are in bed.

I have to do the inspection sergeant too.

I have to check up the jails, I have to give orders for the fatigue duties...

But on my name, Flik, tomorrow morning I will open the jail even to you.

- Why? - Because tonight I send you there for 2 days.

- Me? - Yes you.

Now I'm going to open the jails, if you don't reach me quick...

You wretch! What are you doing?!

Don't you know that you cannot play in front of the stables?

< The mules get scared!

But It's possible that I have always to repeat it?!

Shut up! Stop it! In the middle of the courtyard, look what you did!

The mule! Stop the mule! Stableman! Where's the stableman? Even you sleeping?

Do you want 10 days of close arrest?

Why, you cannot sleep anymore before the alarm?

Here's the alarm, move!

Get the mule, don't talk! Get it, before it makes some troubles.

Stop it. Henry, Henry!

< Wake up!

Fine, at least one.

No noise at all.

They're still sleeping.

The prison became a hotel.

They do their own business.

Here they are.

Look how they sleep!

Wake up! Move!

I said wake up!

- Ficot - Here am I...

- La Plot! - I'm ready for other few days in jail.

- Really? - Yes, how many days do you want?

Stand up! I would like to give you a life sentence, I'm just waiting the occasion.

Now bring the coffee to the dormitories.

- Move! - Uh, why are you yelling like this?

- We understood. - What does it mean that we have to move?

- It's an order. - (Together) What a bore!

- So you don't want to stand up... - (Together) Right.

So you refuse, well.

- You are asking for it. Sergeant? - Yes sir.

You arrived just in time. This two jail-birds had just scorned a superior.

They refuse to obey, offending me.

You have to witness it in front of the Disciplinary Council so they're going to be shoot.

- What? - Sure,

but I cannot witness without being a witness.

They refuse to obey.

Who refuse to obey?

- I don't know, maybe you. - Me? Hell, no!

- And imagine me! - You rascals, liars!

Shut up!

If in five minutes the coffee is not in the dormitories,

- I'm going to let downgrade you. - Yes sir!

Move!

If you need witnesses, trust in us.

Wake... wake up!

Wake up!

You didn't hear the alarm? What are you waiting to dress up, the waitress?

Still in this state! Is this the way you do the corporal?

For what do you think the chevrons are? For sleep, prairie dog!

Move!

Attention!

At ease.

And hurry up.

We don't have time to lose here.

I reward you that the first of you who arrives last at the assembly,

he's going to go to jail, with all the others.

Do you hear? You are going to go to jail.

Come on, move! Hurry up, why so lazy?!

And stop, and stop, and stop, and shut up, come on.

Live me alone, you bastards.

Here, you ruined my lunch. I was eating a chicken that looked like a lamb.

- The marshal is arriving. - And who cares?

Here, they invited me to a wedding dinner...

I was sitting on the table. They brought a chicken with six legs.

Six legs! Oh My!

Marshal...

I'm going to give you the chicken, with a side dish,

of bread and water in jail. So you can digest the chicken. Shut up.

Somebody dreams a chicken and have to go to jail...

- In prison. - I will report myself to the superior officers

What are you doing with the feet in your hands?

I warm them up.

Oh My, I'm freezing.

Dress you up, wash yourself so you won't have cold anymore.

- Who's this bore? - The marquis Fr�d�ric d'H�ricourt.

4 days of rest in bed.

Oh yes, he's tired. There was a party last night at the major's home.

- Move! - Yes sir.

You! What are you doing?

- I'm sick. - You know the risk!

- The jail, but I'm sick. - Tonight you are going to sleep on the wood.

I don't care.

< Stand up! If in a minute you're not washed, dressed, combed, I will send you to jail!

Come on guys! Hurry up!

- Wash up good. Especially the neck! - The sergeant is here!

Pretend to wash yourself.

Do the water noise with the mouth, come on!

When you wash yourself in the morning, this water fresh you up to the cheeks.

But what is? And broke it up!

Shut up fanatic, if you let someone realize it, I'm going to kill you.

Are you mad? I cannot stay dirty.

Do you want to go away? Go away!

Wash you silently, what is all this noise.

The discipline is important even here. Move!

- Vergisson, don't you need to wash yourself? - Sure! You don't see the stone?

Ah you wash yourself with a stone? Are you joking?

- How can I wash myself with the ice. - And who told you to use the ice.

That's why I took the stone.

But how can you wash yourself with the stone? You should use the water.

How do I find the water without the stone?

Okay, 2 days. In this way you learn to do idiot questions.

- And move! - Let him die, please.

- Listen, what we have for lunch? - The same slop.

- Why don't you like it? - Uh, you're provoking me

Is not enough to poison us? Do you mock me too?

Do you see this? This is the black book. You're in the first six, I'm going to ruin you.

Who do you want to ruin? Come on.

Ugly, dirty poisoner. Here's going to be a mess when I'll report to the superiors.

Who's the idiot who opens the door like this?

- What have you said? - Nothing Marshal.

I said only that this damned window don't close.

I don't care, let fix it.

I said to the lieutenant Musseret, and he answered to manage by myself!

Then manage by yourself.

- The penance's book is update? - Yes sir.

Okay let's add a nice bit of prison to Vergisson...

- And what's the matter! - Close that door!

- Oh sorry. - What you want?

Sir I'm here for my wedding leave.

- The commandant have to sign it. - I know, but I ask it a month ago!

- You must wait one or two months. - But I cannot wait.

It's the fourth time that everything is ready at home, they go to church and I don't arrive.

If you don't stop I give you 4 days ofjail.

Do you want 4 days?

- Get out! - But...

He has a big hurry to became a cuckold.

- At least could be hot. - The fire was off.

And the cook pretend us to light it.

Looks, this is even worse then yesterday.

Yes because yesterday we stir it with the water of cabbages.

- Really? So you're all witnesses. - Of what?

This disgusting thing I'm going to take to the marshal to taste.

- In this way we'll defeat the cook. - Oh, leave it.

All of you are sheep!

But you don't know that in the Italian Army

they eat every morning milk with coffee and cookies?

A friend of mine has been in Italy, and told me!

Laugh! Still receiving humiliations!

But I'll protest until I win. And you will thank me, I'm going to let you eat the cookies!

< Silence! Hurry up! - Marshal, the coffee.

- I already drank it. - But this is disgusting.

- If it's so bad why do you take it to me? - If not, I didn't take it to you, taste it.

I want to know why you want to give me a disgusting coffee, are you joking?

- Marshal... - Do you want 2 days? 2 days?

Move!

Alone, against all! Do you see that man? He's another who's going to end bad.

Sure about it.

Look, I throw this coffee.

What are you bringing? Look at this, can you see it?

Can you see it? This is its end, Pick it up, it's tasteful now.

Bravo! I want to congratulate. Now it's better that you get the rag and clean the floor.

You're crazy. If you want it cleaned stand up, and clean it by yourself.

I will appreciate, but everybody knows that I can't stand the heavy works.

- He's dispensed. - Really, dispensed with the cleaning?

And to bring the major's sons to dance, aren't you dispensed?!

But... who do you think you are?

Only 'cause your name is Fr�d�ric d'H�ricourt...

De Cheines, de Chomet and other counties.

You should agree that if all these titles are not useful at least for this...

Are you angry with me even if I agree with you?

- The coffee is disgusting? - Well.

The food is disgusting? But is not a remedy to dirt the floor.

A man like you have to do a scandal.

What do you mean?

- The Major tastes the food everyday. - Well?

- And he taste it even if is disgusting. - Yes.

- 30 years of career have ruined his taste. - Well?

- But I don't think he can resist the taste of... - Come on!

The Marquis is right. We have to prepare a disgusting lunch.

We'll do it. But when the Major is going to taste it...

Yes, who's going to get the responsibility, only you.

Do you hear? Only me.

But sure, aren't you waiting for a moment like this?

Sure! But what the commander is going to say?

Okay, doesn't matter, you're scared. I was thinking you were a true man.

Am I not a man? Am I not a man?

There's someone who doubts that I'm a man?

I'm a true man!

Marshal... I was kidding...

- Have you heard the roll call? - Well?

- So you get 2 days. - So are 4.

Let's do 8. So you learn to be so funny.

They're 8. So they're 16!

But I'm going to report myself!

Why don't you say 24, so we'll see who goes to jail.

At ease.

< Left flank! Line yourself!

Squadron, attention!

- At ease. < At ease.

- First platoon NN (No News) - Second platoon NN.

Third platoon NN.

Oh yes. Are still missing Crockbul and Laguiomette.

Oh damn them. Now it's a week. Those two bores, played on me too much.

I'm indulgent and so they abuse.

From today I will change, Damn it! Do you understand Musseret?

- If for tonight the 2 deserter are not back... - We will report them to the superiors.

- Right. - Disciplinary council, it's my business.

- Well... yes. Sirs...

- Hem... come here marshal. - Yes sir.

Don't forget. Don't begin to do things in a a hurry.

Otherwise we start to mix up a doorman with a general.

Therefore 7 or 8 days, are the same thing.

The important thing is that those 2 bores come back.

Do you agree with me, right?

Well no initiative without warning me.

- Right? - Yes, yes, but...

- But? - Nothing. Nothing.

- So... go away. - Yes sir.

And ask the quartermaster to prepare the daily plan.

The squadron is ready.

Take the command, I will reach you.

Attention! On the saddles!

Stay still animal!

You have the force for moving, I don't.

You eat and don't care of nothing. You ugly beast.

You must thank horse meat disgust me.

- Soldier Vergisson... - Yes sir!

- We're waiting for you. - Really kind.

Not kind at all! We're not your servants.

You will do 5 days ofjail, so you will understand what military life means.

Why, I still don't know? You do the cock of the walk.

When, one day or another, I will report myself to our superiors, you'll see.

Let's go and do this march.

I will think of you, ugly, dirty, horse.

Head platoon, column of twos to the left! March! In step!

Column of twos to the left! March!

Column of twos to the left! March!

Sure those poor ones make pity, to go around with this cold.

What a bad job.

Fr�d�ric. Fr�d�ric, are you sleeping?

I would like.

I would like too, but I can't.

- Are you listening to me? - Hum...

What do you want? Did you ask for the medical visit to bore me?

No, I'm only scared. Is it true the doctor is a bastard?

I don't think so.

You don't think... You're recommend by the Major.

- But are you sick or not? - I'm!

But I'm scared that I'm not sick enough!

I understand. So it's hard.

Listen. If I say that I'm anemic they will believe me?

Not at all.

- Maybe with the rheumatisms. - No, it's too naive.

Well?

How are you doing with your tummy?

- Fine. - Well, if you want you can use your tummy.

Do you like dysentery?

This is a good idea!

I like dysentery. Dyse... but I haven't.

Don't worry, I can give it to you.

You're friend! I will be thankful.

- How many pills have I to take to be sure? - All.

One should be enough.

But all is better.

Yes.

- Come on, just a little more. - My man...

- It's easy to say! - I know, but so you're sure

Yes, sure. Let's hope that with all these pills everything goes okay.

To go it goes. To stop it, it's going to be difficult.

Yes. "To stop it, it's going to be difficult!"

- So, which sickness do you declare to have? - Don't you see that I have the dysentery?

Have you heard him? It's more than dysentery with all the things that I have here.

The gun is charged, but if it shoots late, it's useless.

Come on guys, let's sing the regiment's song.

I will start. Ready?

Of all the regiments, the most beautiful, the most beautiful do you know which is?

Our is the most beautiful, our is the most beautiful.

Of all the regiments, our is the most beautiful.

- Hey, Vergisson, why an't you singing? - I can't sergeant.

- Why? - It hurts me here, under the saddle.

But you haven't to sing from your bottom but from your mouth.

Come on guys, cheer!

Of all the regiments, the most beautiful, the most beautiful do you know which is?

Our is the most beautiful, our is the most beautiful.

- More enthusiasm guys! - Stop this madness!

Squadron, halt!

It's better to start the training.

A tactic action then. How are we going to do it wide or limited?

- Limited. - Here we are.

- Now we start the usual war play. - Let's hope it's a defense war.

So we can sleep while waiting for the enemy.

The best defense is the attack, so we're going to attack.

May I detach the vanguard and the rearguard patrols?

Yes but tell them not to move away, otherwise we should search them in all the bars.

- Don't worry sir. - Let's hope so.

- Sergeant? - Yes sir!

From now on we're in approach march to the enemy.

We must keep the eyes wide open. The enemy is smart.

He's really smart. Two years of military life and I never saw him.

Get some good men for the platoon and go.

Yes sir.

First platoon, right flank. Trot! Gallop!

Slowly... go!

Everything is okay captain, and where can we put the enemy, on the north it's okay?

No, no, not in the north. Put it in the south.

In the north they're seed fields, I don't want troubles with the farmers.

- But there's the river in the south. - Uh, yes!

- East there are marshes. - And west vineyards.

Every time we try to put the enemy, we never can find where!

Captain!

- There's the Major. - Okay, let's go.

We're organizing an attack sir.

- Fine. And what do those ones? - Mass attack.

And do you put them in so close ranks? But it's sure death!

Come on Musseret, put them on foot.

This is the ABC of the tactic. Come on, hurry up.

And where is the enemy? You don't know even this?

When I was captain, do you know where I would put it?

- Where Major? - In the front.

Sergeant put the platoons under the trees.

Platoons, in open order under the trees.

Come on, hurry! Go on, move!

Quicker!

Since you don't know where to put the enemy,

and the enemy is necessary to make the war,

stop everything and assemble the men.

- Please. - Musseret!

There's no more the enemy. Assemble the men.

Yes sir! Assembly! Sergeant!

- Sergeant, do you hear? - Yes sir.

Stop all the tactic actions and let the patrols come back.

Yes sir.

Sergeant! Stop everything and assembly!

Assembly! Run!

Come on, hurry up!

It's better to train the troop to use the weapons.

Next week your company will go to the shooting range.

- The troop is ready? - Well... sure.

Okay, let's see.

< Oh it's so beautiful the war!

I'm sure that instead of dead it could produce living people.

Don't move, with us you are save, we're the militar police!

- Damn you! Go back in the ranks! - Sergeant!

First line... Order, arm!

Second line... aim, arm!

- You guy. - Who?

- Are you talking to me? - Yes, come over here.

- What's your name. - Vergisson sir.

Okay Vergisson, show me what you're going to do when you will be at the shooting range.

- At the shooting range. - Come on Vergisson, don't be shy,

- Are you crazy? - No, no! Aim over there, in the open country!

Aim towards the country, not towards the men!

- Uh, I had a confusion. - But you don't know yet how to shoot?

- Sure, I know. - Open, come on, open open. Open!

- Come on, aim. - I aim.

- Close the eye. - Close the eye.

I cannot close the eye, sir.

- What does it mean you cannot close it. - I cannot close it

- How much you're in the Army? - Two years sir.

And in 2 years you didn't even learn how to close an eye?

I cannot close my eye.

- Why cannot you close your eye? - How come you cannot close your eye?

- I can't. - Close immediately the eye!

- I had a big accident. - Close the eye and aim!

Aim and close the eye. Close the eye and aim.

And shut up, you're even a friend of mine.

Come on, then do like you did till today.

- Till today? - Yes.

Now I will show you.

Well, I look the target. Like this.

- Sergeant beware the horses! - Stop the horses!

Why do you shoot? You have not to shoot!

- I thought you were joking. - Sergeant, beware the horses!

Beware the horses. Beware the horses!

- You hadn't to shoot. - I'll do it.

Who gave the order to shoot?

With that bastard is not enough to be sick, you must be at least dying.

- Attention! - Go away, impostor.

What is all this noise? It's sure that 4 days of close arrest are for you.

- The next one. < Take me the next one that I will settle him.

It's his turn.

< Yes, continue to have fun. One at one I will close you all in jail.

- It's your fault. You made him angry. - Why?

- Now we don't have no more hope. - But what did I?

All the soldiers who will pass the visit and will be not recognized sick

will be punished with 4 days of close arrest.

- This is our end. < Who cares?

I go to jail but I don't have to march.

Why so sad?

- News? - Not yet.

- And by now we need something else. - Don't despair.

The next time before to report sick, read that poster.

Oh d'H�ricourt, please get in.

Well, how's going your breakdown?

So and so, you know how the breakdowns are.

Sure! If you don't cure it, it could became...

- I hope that you will cure me. - Yes, pure formality.

And it can even be seen by your color that you're sick, boy.

I... am in your hands.

- Well... do we hear the heart? - Okay.

- Yes, beats beats. - Uh, still beats.

Yes, I mean beats. Beats, but beats in a strange way.

But the heart is not in question. The truth is that the breakdown exists.

You must rest, a lot of rest, we will see in few days.

Here some pills. One every two hours.

But if you don't take them, maybe it's better.

And take care! A pill every two hours. I recommend you.

The next one.

- Did you see? First of all, be calm. - Damn calm, you're recommended.

- But you... - I'm fine!

- You don't even have a bit of fever. - Not at all.

An advise. Before to get in, try to slam the elbows on the wall.

- And why? - To let the fever come.

- Uh? - No, both.

Yes, bravo.

And these do you call them pimples? Four days.

- Of rest? - Of close arrest.

Of close arrest? But Captain, I have the bronchitis!

And do you show me your bottom to tell me that you have the bronchitis?

But what is happening? Who's impatient? Go and get him!

What're you doing still here, do you want two days more?

- Yes, no! - So get out! Damned!

Well, are you the one who did the buffoon.

Are you in a hurry?

Did you want to slam down the wall?

Yes? Answer!

Do you want to talk, damn?!

What he has?

- Sir... - Yes,

- What? - The newsletter arrived this morning.

- Well? - Maybe is just a coincidence...

Oh, the diphtheria... Why, are the same symptoms?

Do you have a sore throat? Do you see what the newsletter said...

It's diphtheria. What the newsletter said?

Oh, here. Sure, yes... Here it's.

And it's happening to me! Damn him, he's going to decimate the squadron.

Do you feel your throat closed?

You cannot breath!

These are the symptoms. Sure, it's clear.

Choking sensation.

Yes, I immediately got it! I had a bad impression.

You can never trust them. Sometimes you think you're in front of a slob, and instead...

he has the diphtheria.

Come here, near to me.

Show your throat.

Yes, yes okay. It's it.

Uh, yes, yes... here we need... we need...

give him the castor oil.

First of all the bowels must be freed.

Because when the man has free bowels, the ideas are clearer.

Because this oil... Do you want to give him this oil yes or no?

Swallow in one sip. Come on!

And then take this mouthwash, every half hour gargle it.

Go. You're dispensed from the service.

Go go go! Isolate yourself. Don't infect the fellows!

Quick, give me some sublimate. The cautions are never enough.

- But sir... - Yes, what's up?

- You made a mistake. - What?

Instead of the mouthwash, you gave him the sublimate.

I know what I did! The sublimate is a perfect disinfectant!

And even here in the newsletter is written: Disinfect everything with the sublimate.

- Yes, but the dormitories. - Well, dormitories or men are the same things.

What do you want to do, teach me how to be a doctor?

One. Two... 3 days of confinement.

- I'll sleep in jail tonight. - Don't come near me, I'm contagious.

- Oh, you talk big, what have you? - The diphtheria.

The diphtheria? I didn't know that it could have that effect.

You're not working. Do you want a week of close arrest?

I must help you to do nothing?

- Calm... - No peace for scoundrels like you.

You must sweep the courtyard, and you have to shift these pebbles here over there!

But the lieutenant said to bring here the ones which were there.

- I would like to know... - There's nothing to know. Do it!

Move!

One... two... three.

Attention!

At ease.

Action. Next one.

One... two... three. Move!

Why are you there? What do you do with that bucket?

You cannot stay quiet even inside here, damn!

- This is not the time. - But I'm allowed, I have the diphtheria.

- Well, how are you? - Bad, bad.

It seems he had a hard time in there. He's all sweaty.

Go immediately away from the window. Don't you know that is forbidden?

I'll give you hell, not the major's daughters, tonight you will sleep in jail!

But do you want to understand that hasn't born yet who's going to send me to jail.

We'll see. Oh, here's another slob, just in time. Clean up here.

I can't, I'm exempted And I have to do my mouthwashes.

- Well, how went? - I made a terrific effect.

Did you had the rest for the dysentery.

- No for the diphtheria. - For the diphtheria?

- Uh, you're so wet! - Yes I have to change myself.

- Damn the words! - Do you need help? I'm here for you.

- How will you write the motivations. - I think the shorter the better.

In your shoes I will not write it at all. Do you want to tell me who's going to read it?

- The marshal. But the marshal will rip it.

The marshal will approve me.

- Fr�d�ric, there are guests for you. - Oh my, do signs I'm not here for everybody.

Oh, do you prefer the 3 ugly ones to this blessing of God.

Uh, she's the servant, Albertina!

To a woman like her I'll willingly infect with the diphtheria.

How many women do you want, the 3 major's daughters are not enough?

- And this is a servant. - Right! And first of all she has to serve me.

- Take my place please. - Me?

Yes, that one is blind like a mole, in the meantime I prepare you the mouthwash.

You're a friend!

My but this one is really ugly. She looks like the major.

- But she don't have the mustache. - She have!

How do you spell defrauder?

With 3 D, 4 R, 5 F. More consonant you put in, the better is.

Don't try to be funny i know how to spell even without help.

Disgusting! She sent me a kiss.

- Damn. - Uh I have to do my gargles.

But what happened?

He thinks I will not success!

He will see. Here. During...

I think is disgusting this thing.

- And you take it? - Sure, it's an order.

The captain told me that I can decimate the squadron.

- But have you really a sore throat? - No but I have the diphtheria.

- Oh it's repugnant. But I have to take it. - Courage.

- Burns! Burns... - Drink it, go on.

Simple soldier Michel Patiroll.

Four days of close arrest.

Because he presented the weapon to the bishop, doing the raven's sound with his mouth.

- What did he with his mouth? - The raven sound. Craw craw.

Soldier... But what are you writing?

Craw craw you dictate it!

I didn't dictate you "craw craw".

I made "craw craw" for let you understand the sound made to the bishop.

- And what the bishop said? - Nothing.

But this is not your business.

But you want that I get involved in the raven's "craw craw"

If the bishop is not involved imagine me, I have other things in mind.

- Are you making joke of me? - Me?

Tell me do you want two days so you can keep him company?

- To the bishop? - No, to the one who made "craw", in jail.

- Me? - Do you want?

- This door! - What happened, what do you want?

- I had to give you a punishment's note. - Okay.

But before I want to know which kind of punishment you will assign for this violation.

- Let's hear. - During the drill

he was talking to women at the window

having his feet on the bed so he could see better the above she-ones.

In contrast with the corporal's orders, I'm the corporal,

and on top of that he was pulling his superior's leg, not having respect of rank,

- I'm the superior. - I know.

Who told to the above one, who said he don't mind about punishments,

and prefers to talk to the above she-ones with his feet on the bed already said

giving so proof of lack of military sense, of defrauderness, with speaking license.

- But this is the limit! - Is the limit

- But 10 days ofjail are a gift. - A gift.

Write, write, write, write. Who, who, who is he? What is his name?

- Write, soldier d'H�ricourt. - Soldier...

What did you say?

Soldier d'H�ricourt. We going to give him 10 days?

Idiot! Is to you that I will give 10 days ofjail.

They are for you because you still don't know how to write the motivations.

Give a look, here. There is lack of concision, of clearness, of grammar!

And you want to do the corporal.

But how can you punish the men if you don't know even how to write.

- Get out! Out or I will degrade you! - Yes marshal!

Good, for the officers...

Best, for me.

Good, for the officers...

Best, for me...

Troop.

Best.

- Hi. - What a pity...

- For the troop. - Here we are.

What have we to do for the lunch?

Put this in the big pot.

- This one? - Not this one, that one.

And they say that the food is bad.

You are right. It's not hygienic without the soap.

So they are going to wash the stomach.

- Everything right? - For us it's all fine.

Oh, not yet. A little bit of seasoning it's important.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5... and 6 a little bit more doesn't waste.

That bone has more service years than us two.

And I think that it will not go in discharge.

Listen! They're coming back from the march. Let's hope this lunch is okay.

- The major have strage tastes. - Hurry up!

Come on. Right on.

A nice soup after the march, is what the soldiers needs.

First platoon on the stirrups!

From the head column left! March!

Third platoon on the ground.

- Dismissed! - Wait!

Attention!

And you call this a platoon? This is a prairie dog's flock.

When you come back from the march I want to see enthusiasm, exuberance!

- Normally, but now they're a little bit tired. - Tired? A real soldier is never tired.

Now I will show you.

On the saddle!

On the ground!

On the saddle!

Hurry up! You look like little women!

Lieutenant let them repeat this exercise for 10 times.

Captain, come with me please.

You're too weak captain. These guys ask only to obey.

Look at them, see? Now they're happy.

The soldiers are a little like horses,

only hardness is useful.

And if you don't hold them hard, they throw you on the ground.

Excuse me.

- D'H�ricourt, how is going your exhaustion? < As usual.

You must take care of yourself.

- It's important that you think to your health. - I think to it.

- Do you have fun? - Me? No.

Neither me. And the horses less of all.

- Dismissed! - On the ground!

Dismissed!!

We take them for a walk, we give them food, and we clean then even the...

But tell me... are we soldiers? We're horse maids!

Don't get mad with the horses, even them wouldn't want to do it.

- Hey Vergisson! - Well, the lunch?

- It's ready. - More disgusting then ever.

Finally the commander will understand the way we eat.

Listen, get even my horse because I'm working for you, I'm working for you all!

- Let's go. - Let's cross our fingers.

The fuse is lighted up, now let's wait the explosion.

- Well? What happened to you? - No. Let me... go by

The mouth... the doctor!

Did you hear him? What he has?

Did he poison himself to be hospitalized?

But what poison, with the food they give us, no poison can kill us.

Do you hear the trumpet? Today a revolution it's going to happen.

The infirmary is closed.

What do you want, it's lunch time. I'm not at your service!

Come on, I don't want to joke now.

In line by three.

Shut up! Come on!

Quiet. I said quiet!

- Today an apocalypse it's going to happen. - Yes but I'm scared that...

He's the cook who has to be scared.

Attention!

At ease.

Captain!

Captain.

- So? - I don't understand.

- Where is it? - Who knows.

- Excuse me, can we know what's going on? - Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.

Protocol 254. We confirm previous dispatch, prepare for today.

- But it seems clear. - Now even the dispatch they have to decipher.

< We have to see what the other dispatch says. < What?

We can't find it, but we will, don't worry.

And you get it like this? A Ministerial dispatch!

But it could announce, I don't know,

the departure for the big maneuvers, the General arrive...

- the mobilization. - Come on...

We must find immediately the dispatch. Find it!

Okay. Okay.

Sir, do you want to taste the food?

- Good and plentiful like always. - Like always sir...

But what...

- Don't you laugh, I'm going to kill you. - And stop it!

- You have a saint who protects you. - And what we eat now?

What?

And what you want to eat. We eat bread and breadcrumb.

And what you want to eat. Bread and breadcrumb.

Here. Laugh laugh, if I throw it on your face it will be like vitriol.

Good and plentiful.

Today the food is better. Maybe they reproached the cook.

If the others eat, we will eat it too.

- It means we'll report after. Don't we? - Yes.

Look what a dirty stuff.

And thinking that in the Italian army...

No?

Incredible.

We don't find it.

We must find it.

- It's not here. Not at all. - But it must be here! He saw it!

- But you're the postmaster! - I give the post to the marshal there.

- What to you mean "the marshal there". - Come on don't discuss!

Somebody is going to have big problems if this we don't find this dispatch,

- do you understand marshal?! - But captain...

I'm tired to get the major's rebukes because of your negligence!

Halt!

Let's do it orderly.

Where did you see it?

There, on the quartermaster's table.

- On your table. - On my table I told you is impossible.

- I put the mail on the marshal's table. - And you?

Did you see on the marshal's table two days ofjail for you?

Did you see it on my table?

Hem... now that I remember was on the lieutenant's table.

On mine? Are at least 2 days that I didn't come here in this office, I didn't see nothing.

In this way do you do your service?

Shame on you! If we don't find in 5 minutes the dispatch, you go to jail!

- Who is he?! - What do you want? What are you searching?

Me sir? My wedding leave.

Your wedding leave? Find it! Maybe it's disappeared with all the other papers. Get out!

- Well what do you do at the window? - Civilians in the courtyard.

- What civilians? How they got in?

I don't know. From the faces they have they didn't come in voluntarily.

Who are they? They look like recalled soldiers.

- Do you understand? - No.

The dispatch announced their arrival! It's clear.

- Musseret! - Marshal!

Quartermaster.

Let's go, we have to provide accommodations for them.

Captain, the dispatch!

- I found it! - Keep it, it's a gift!

< Why didn't you advise me?

- Why do you come? - We have been recalled.

We must do 28 days, for instruction on the new weapons.

Which weapons? We have Napoleon's guns what have you to learn?

I don't know. In the meantime we stay here.

- Where are you from? - Lion.

- The ham's country? - Yes.

- Bologna's country? - Yes.

- And do you bring it? - Sure!

A good man from Lion cannot live without ham.

What do you think I have inside here?

- Uh, don't tell me, is it full? - Sure!

- Give to me I'll bring for you. - Yes but...

I'll hold it for you. You need protection, and I'm an authority in here.

- Don't worry. Leave it. < What do you do? Don't talk with the civilians.

- This one come to be a soldier, he's a friend. - Attention!

- The ham... - The captain.

It's like I imagined.

Could you please tell me where we're going to put them?

- Do you have an idea? - Not at all.

We don't have any free cot. But if you agree

we can put them in the stables for tonight.

- I don't think so. - So what?

- You're a regular officer, right? - Yes sir.

The army needs people like you.

If for this evening, at the silence time, these guys are not in their beds,

I said in their beds, you're going to be arrested. I go to eat.

Marshal... did you understand?

Well, if for this evening, at the silence time, these guys are not in their beds, you go in jail.

I go to eat.

- Quartermaster? - Me?

- Did you hear? - Unfortunately.

If for this evening...

What happened, are you sick?

Yes my throat is burning and nobody helps me.

You're lucky, I'm here! I'm the doctor Agrenoble, 2000 patients, open the mouth.

Damn it's all burned, we must immediately do something.

Sergeant, the bed business is resolved.

- Oh perfect, how? - We must find 16 beds for this evening.

If you don't find them you're going to get 4 days ofjail.

- 16 beds? And where do I find 16 beds? - And do you ask me?

- Manage yourself. - But quartermaster...

Sergeant!

Tell to this recalled soldier who I am.

You're a military doctor and I'm a civilian doctor so we're colleague.

- This man has some burns. Open your mouth. - Close your mouth. What burns...

What do you mean with "what burns" the ones in his throat.

- Open your mouth. - Close your mouth.

I'm the only one who can look throats here.

I'm the doctor in here. You're not here to have customers, you're a soldier here!

First of all, dear colleague, I'm a doctor.

Shut up! This isn't a good reason to call me colleague.

First of all, I'm an army officier.

Open your mouth. But don't you see it?

These burns look like have been produced by a corrosive acid.

- Give a look. - Do you want to close that mouth?

You're looking for an accomplice. Fine, this evening you go to jail.

Yes. Sergeant!

Give a uniform to the doctor and put this slob in jail for a month.

Beware, if this man dies I will laugh a lot.

I had the order to bring him to jail. Good idea! If you go to jail I had found a bed.

Tobur, Courdet, corporals!

- Do you want to sleep in jail tonight? - No!

Well in 15 minutes send 15 soldiers to jail.

I don't want to die. I don't want nobody laugh of the medical captain.

- Salute. - Who.

What do you mean who, me!

- But I was backward. - Bravo!

Instead of saluting he was showing the back to a superior, 2 days of close arrest.

- 4 days of close arrest. - Why?

- You were ignoring the regulations. - Which regulations?

First you go to jail and after you protest. You protested before.

5 days in jail each one. Dirty shoes.

- But they're clean. - We just finished to shine them.

And you call it clean? Up.

- A finger of dust. - On the sole...

The sole is part of the shoe, shut up!

One jacket and one underwear.

And the pants? I cannot go out in underwear without pants.

Content yourself. It could be worse if you have to go out even without underwear.

Go, hurry up, get dressed.

- So everything it's okay? - Okay not at all!

I had to dress up 16 recalled with stuff enough for only one.

- You, what do you want? - Another pair of shoes, please.

- And what are those you have on your feet? - Shoes, but are two right shoes.

And I have two left.

And well? It's simple. Exchange them between you, it's so easy.

But if I give him my left shoes I will have two right ones.

It's enough that you give him only one shoe.

The one on my right foot or the one on my left one?

Let's see... give him the right one.

But how I can give him the right one if I have only left ones?

So give him the left one!

- The left one I have on the left? - No, the left one you have on the right, stupid!

- And I give him the right that is on the left? - No, the right that you have on the right.

No, the right that he has in the right is the right one.

No! It could be right if was on the right but he has on the left

But if he passes the one on the right to the left and the one on the left to the right, is it the same!

- Perfect. This is what you need. - It seems large.

It has to be big, in the army it has to be like this. You can enlarge your head.

- But I can't see. Where's the ham. - You don't have to see.

Don't think about the ham think about the uniform.

The left one it's enough that he pass it to the right!

- The right shoe is his! - It's not mine, it's him who has the right ones!

So give him the right one that you have on the left!

- But he can't give it to him! - No, it's possible!

- You are lucky. - No, no give me the ham! A thief! Get him!

< What's happening? - What you do, you put your hands up to me?!

- He stoled my ham. - Which ham sergeant?

Since I'm in the Army I don't see ham.

Ham, which ham? And I don't even know this man. Who are you?

- Come Vergisson give me the ham - Sergeant, if I have a ham it's my duty to give it.

- But I haven't it. So, what do I give? - What have you on the back?

- What have I? - What have you?

- Where? - Back.

Sergeant don't scare me, what's up?

Vergisson don'tjoke with me, what have you on your back?

- What have I? - What have you?

I guess... I have a hump.

- A hump? - A hump, I have.

Do you never realize it? You make me think to sad things.

- Touch it for good luck. - What I have to touch, I will show you.

You don'tjoke me. Let's see what you have there.

Here it is! And what is that?

- The ham! - The ham.

Who put it on me?

- My ham. - Do you put it on me?

Are you got crazy to put ham on a soldier?

- He made a joke. - Stop it!

For now I requisition the ham.

Then we will do an inquiry and will see who belongs. Come on, go.

- But the ham is mine. - Shut up, or you go to jail. Go!

- Good job, me and you, will cut it... - Shut up! Go!

- But... - I'll go to jail but you'll get back thr ham!

He's going to take it out, or I will report to the superiors. Don't worry.

- Why are you crying. - My ham...

- Take out the other one. - Which one?

- The other ham. - I don't have it, only that one.

- So you have only one ham? - Yes.

- Have you no more? - No.

Get away! You dirty farmer. Do you came here with only one ham?!

- Don't you shame of you? I can't stand that the ham was already mine...

- So guys? - Well we found 11 free beds.

- 11 beds? How did you? - It's easy to send in jail 11 soldiers.

- An unbuttoned button. - A pair of dirty shoes.

Sure, sometimes a little of discipline is needed, and it frees the beds.

- So? - Here they are.

- The beds? - Are there, all people who sleeps in jail.

- They're 11. - There are Vergisson, Laflotte e Flicot.

- 14. - There's Latterin who was just punished.

15. One still missing.

Hum, I count it two times.

- Play the leave. - You!

You presented a request for a wedding license.

But... It doesn't matter. I will marry when I'll go in discharge.

- What discharge? How many days you asked? - Eight, but if they're less...

Why less? You will have 28 days and you have five minutes to disappear! Go!

- It's enough to have a little of initiative. - Right.

- I can't get out I'm punished. - Every day the same story,

I have my rights more then the colonel.

- Come near, let me hug you. - No. Take down your hands.

Come let at least them be free.

Damn, I wanted to go dance.

Do you protest? You don't know what I wanted to do.

Here a brought you a piece of bread.

They are scared by me. Do you understand?

That's the reason why they don't let me go out. The punishments are an excuse.

Their purpose is to nail me, to stop me. Bice, they nailed me, Bice.

Don't be sad my teddy-bear. Try to be more good with them.

Uh, more good. Don't tell me...

You neglect me like all the others. Come here, Bice.

Bice, why do you let me wait?

Don't you know this is my best moment of the day?

With all the sorrow and the pains...

Bice. You know how much they let me suffer in these barracks.

- Why you make me wait? - Don't get mad my teddy-bear.

I cannotjoke with my masters. As soon I'm free I run to you.

My teddy-bear, teddy-bear!

Teddy-bear, you call me...

- Are you making fun of me? - No, no!

You cannot trust nobody. The life is all deceit.

- Even you Bice. - But what do you say Teddy-bear.

I love you. I love you.

- Do you love me? - Yes.

- How much? - A lot.

- How much? - A lot a lot.

I trust you.

- And the evidence of you love where is? - What?

- The evidence of you love. - Which evidence?

- What have you brought me? - What?

What have you brought me.

- Oh... unfortunately nothing today. - Nothing?

- No. - And why do you came? Why do you came?

- But Teddy-bear! - Which Teddy-bear?

Now I'll give you the Teddy-bear! You cannot come here without an evidence of your love!

You must bring me food, I want food, I need food, do you understand?

I always brought you until today!

And never, never, never! You have always to bring food when you came here!

I can go and get a little piece of cheese if you want it.

Sure I want it. Run!

Run, start to run. What are you waiting for? Bring me the cheese, hurry!

Don't you know that love is blind? Love don't see nothing.

I need to see this cheese, do you understand?

- I bring you immediately. - Sure, run!

Don't you know that if you don't bring me the cheese I leave you?

I leave you, do you understand?

She loves me.

Look, she fell.

Maids out there are something like a hundred, how could I recognize yours?

- Is she tall? - Not so tall and not so short.

Bu she has a pair of...

Of those no one has not.

- Is she blond? - No, not blond.

- Is she brown? - Not really.

- I know only that she has a pair of... - You insist with the pair of.

Do you understand that whether she wouldn't have them she would be a man?

Other the pair of, have she nothing else?

- I remember only this. - Well I will try.

If she is so considerable I will find her.

Don't steal her!

Listen, please, if you see the woman who sells the cigarettes, tell her hi from me.

Buy for me a little bottle of violet's perfume,

- it makes me dream at night. - Okay.

Listen, if you pass in front of the park give this to Nen�.

- Today is her birthday. - I will hug her for you.

- So? - Oh, I'm dying.

I don't even feel anymore pain, buy me something at the pharmacy.

Sure Latterin, sure.

I go out too! I have my leave. I will marry!

- Condolences. - What?

Nothing.

Damn.

Damn.

Damn.

Damn.

The general is coming.

- Damn, and where is he? - I don't know. He's by car.

The scout told us. He was by bicycle, so he arrived quicker.

So we must move! Advise the major, play the assembly.

- Damn, quick! - Sure.

Trumpet. Trumpet! Play!

- What? - All, all the signals.

Sergeant call all the corporals!

So you did it! 28 days of honey moon.

- The all I need was 8 days then... - If you can't manage, give a call.

The general is coming! Hurry up! Assembly!

The general! The general is coming! Dress up, hurry, assembly!

The general! Hurry! In one minute in the courtyard with the full equipment.

What are you doing? Didn't you hear the assembly?

- Do you want to go in jail? Hurry up! - Slow, go slow. Run, run! The mouse is coming!

- Run, run! - Who do you call mouse?

No I said "Run the mouse is coming" because she's bringing me the cheese.

- Here is the cheese! - Run!

- Here it is, teddy-bear. - Teddy-bear, she brought me the cheese.

- You know what does the mouse? - What does he?

- He takes the cheese. - But he can't.

Uh, can't he?! Attention!

- Left flank, march! - I told you there's the mouse.

Quick march! One two, one two...

- But Teddy-bear! - Damn Teddy-bear.

My Teddy-bear!

Let put in order the dormitories, then the stables.

You're responsible of all the errors. Come on. Go! Hurry!

Where are you going?

To advise the major's wife on the spring dresses.

She will do by herself. Right flank!

Not to disobey, when the major will know he will be disappointed,

- he cares very much about his wife... - Don't mind, now attention!

At ease. Attention!

- Left flank, march! - Stop! What does it happen here?

The soldier d'H�ricourt, demanded to go out

he was talking about spring dresses for your wife.

What had to do with my wife?

Rather let play the assembly. But is still nothing ready? Hurry up!

- Are you on picket duty? - Yes sir.

I'm so sorry for this incident.

I don't want that could be rumors about you and my three daughters.

Sorry, but I only said that your wife...

Yes I understood, but, you see, this was not the right moment.

- So we're okay? - Yes sir.

- Where are you going? - I go out, in license. I have to marry, lieutenant!

In this the moment?

I give you 5 minutes to put on the full equipment and be on the horse. March!

But...

What is this junk?

What are you doing there, what? Put everything in place.

Away this ties! Put them in place, run!

Away this filth! 3 days ofjail for everyone who don't fix everything up in 5 minutes!

I'm saying, I was getting the cheese. She was there, I was here.

The mouse arrived on my back and ate the cheese.

- Who is the mouse? - Flik, the marshal Flik.

- I have a nice report for the general. - You! Are you still like this?

- Yes. - Two days ofjail.

Two days... so are 12. There is anybody else who want to give me other days ofjail?

- Two of close arrest. - Others 2 so they're 14.

- But, you will see... - You know, the general arrival

make them nervous.

Why? I'm happy that the general arrives, I have a big report to do to him!

- Let him come! - Bravo Vergisson! You're a genius!

Did you hear who knows me? I'm a genius.

Play for the official on picket duty. I cannot wait the general alone.

Don't it seems that we worked too much today?

Come on, let's go back in prison.

- Where you two are going? - In jail.

There's no jails for scoundrels like you two. On the horses like all the others.

- Us? - Yes.

If in 5 minutes you're not on the horses with the uniforms,

I will defer you to the military court...

And they will shot on the back the both of you.

Move!

Marshal!

Those scarecrows are still in the courtyard?

Where we can hide them? This is the problem.

There is no problems. A bit of initiative, damn.

Get these scarecrows and put them in the second dormitory.

If the general enters in the first one you put them in the third one.

If he arrives in the third you put them in the first, without showing nothing.

A kind of strategical retreat.

- But if the general turns back. - I told you how to do!

If you're not able... than be it on your own head.

Attention! March!

Hurry up!

Climb the stairs!

Come on, go!

- In 15 minutes. - Are you joking?

If in 5 minutes the squadron in not in line in front of me,

you can say goodbye to your promotion.

- Hurry, go! - Yes sir.

You, why do you stop playing. Play, play!

- What? - What do you want, but play!

Sergeant, 8 days if you men are not ready in 3 minutes.

All down, hurry!

You! Didn't you hear? Do you want to go to jail?

- Sir, I want to say to you that have sore throat. - Three minutes to go on horse like the others.

On the horse. Now I have to go on the horse. My throat is burning.

There, the first door. In silence. Hurry.

All in the first dormitory. Run!

Get in. Come on. Come on.

Hurry! And now in the second dormitory.

And what do you do here, you don't go down?

For what, you know that I never had a horse.

Uh yes, it's true. Go, go, disappear!

Listen to me careful.

You are actually in the second dormitory.

At soon the general...

Check the line.

- Well? - All in order.

- The dormitories, the stables? - Be confident.

Even the military offices the guard post?

Do you think the general will go everywhere?

Everywhere. I know him good.

Was the colonel of my regiment in colony.

If a soldier didn't wear the suspenders, or forgot the belly band

- he picked him up between all the others. - He must be changed.

Let' hope so. Now he's at the top of his career.

Come on, let's go. On saddle.

And so on until you arrive to the last dormitory. It is clear?

No more explanations?

I advise you.

Ingenious. This tactic seems perfect. Is it your idea?

Yes, but I need your help because I cannot know when the general arrives.

You have to go the military office's window and give me the signal.

- Okay, I will control the situation don't worry. - Thank you.

- Did you understand? - No.

But in military life is always better say that you understand.

- Captain... - What are you waiting, the sabres.

- Attention. - Guards... attention!

Squadron attention! Over, arm!

- Away... go away! - Away from here, what do you do?!

Present, arm!

Present, arm!

What are you doing, go away!

Major's wife sent me, I must give this to the young sir.

- Leave it here and go back home. - Who's that man.

- If he see us we're jeopardize! - He's still a nice man, let me see him better.

Get out, we're not at the circus!

- The morale of the troops? - Really high, sir.

- And the horses? - The same.

- How many horses. - 250.

Of which age class?

Even the hoses have their age limits and they years of military life.

- Level of the troop's training? - Satisfactory.

- Are the men ready to fight? - Sure.

Some cloud?

- Diplomatic cloud. - No. But...

the troop should be ready for every eventuality.

- Are the regulations, sirs. - Sure.

Nice, nice, nice reunion of men.

Give a look to the marquis.

- Gentle that you came. - I do what they ordered me.

And the Misses where thinking that you could die if you had nothing to eat.

Bad weather.

- Sir, will you please... - Sure, we will stay better indoors.

Let at least scabbard the sabres, they can rust.

- Yes sir. Captain... - Liutenant...

- Do we have to start the drill? - No, no I already formed an opinion.

I prefer to visit the barracks.

- How many rooms? - About thirty.

Please, this way.

Down, arm!

- But we cannot stay here. - Where you want to go. There's the general.

Actually, I'm risking my life to stay here with you.

- If they find me they can shot me. - Well, the major is going to resolve it.

- Not in this case. Come, come on. - You can't fool me.

I'm not stupid like the misses.

- The infirmary. - I see. I see.

Is there a high mortality in this village?

For our men, the health is excellent.

Child mortality rate?

Around Lille, for example, the child mortality is in strong regression.

Is your throat still sore?

Try to do some gargles with the rain.

It burns!

From here we can't see nothing. Do you want give a look to the general?

- Come with me, I will show you. - No.

- But I want to make you a favor! - Really?

Sure.

D'H�ricourt!

Where are you?

D'H�ricourt?

Here's the first dormitory, sir.

Nice room, full of air, comfortable.

- How many beds? - 16 for dormitory.

- Do you want to get in? - No let's go over.

Quiet. Quiet.

- Attention! - At ease!

- So we have others soldiers here. - Not really soldiers.

- And what are they? - They are...

Well do we want to see?

It seems we're back at Revolution's time.

Are they Sans-culottes or Jacobin?

Only some recalled men, sir.

We got caught unprepared and we hadn't time to prepare them.

Uh, I understand.

It's clear, you hadn't time to dress them up.

The equipment is of some fantasy, but it's complete.

- Musseret... - Complete, sir.

I wouldn't say complete but essential.

Sure we don't have the elegance.

We must not forget that the form is substance, and here we don't have so much substance,

for example he's not enough to fill this jacket.

This seems okay.

- Do you have the suspenders? - No sir.

- He doesn't have suspenders? - Why Musseret?

- I can't really understand. - It could be an accident, an exception.

But, in the end, it's not so important.

The suspender has nothing of really needful.

But it's absence, gives a kind of inferiority complex...

that could have... unpredictable consequences.

For example, the fighting soldier has to have his hands free for...

And besides, there are the regulations.

- I'm really sorry sir. - Just an observation, take note,

just an observation.

Let's go on sirs.

- Where do we go? - There, upstairs.

So you learn, sir!

Why? I was only helping you to go upstairs.

Nice way to help. If you want to go upstairs, go first.

If it's only for this.

But... tell me sir,

are you sure that the general is going to pass even here?

More then sure, if not what kind of inspection would be?

From here we will see without be seen.

Come.

Do you have here little animals?

- Excuse me? - Bedbugs?

- Do you have bedbugs? - Recently no one lamented.

It's a matter of habit, you know.

I would like to stay in jail.

I would like to stay at the marquis' place with that maid.

Lucky him! But what do he do to women?

If you don't stop...

If you don't stop... I call for help.

But what help, we don't need it.

You are enough.

Hey no, stay back you insolent! If you touch me again I scratch you, I bite you.

- Do it, I like it! - No.

Uh! What an excruciating pain!

Goodbye Albertina.

Mr Fr�d�ric... did I really hurt you? A lot?

A lot.

- Where? - I cannot breath anymore.

Here.

- Uh... did I broke you a rib? - No. The hearth.

Now that the general arrives and start questioning me...

- you'll see. - Which questions?

How "which questions?", he interrogate, doesn't he? If he ask you:

"Soldier Bonaparte! How you eat, How you stay?"

- Very good sir. - Very good sir... But what good, very bad!

Very bad! It's dreadful!

It's all dirty, all the things are to throw away.

This are the answers to give to the general.

There he is. He's coming.

If you sir want to see the troop drill...

- No no, bad weather, let them free. - As you wish. Captain, brake the lines.

- Lieutenant... - Yes sir.

General, in name of all the officers,

I would like to invite you to drink something in our lunchroom.

Please sir.

On the ground!

This is a fraud! Doesn't he know the general has to ask questions?

Even if he did, nothing was going to change.

You say this! He had to interrogate.

He had to ask questions, and you'll see what could do soldier Vergisson.

- General I said... - Did you heard the orders?

Bring the horses in the stables. If you 2 in 5 minutes are not in the cell,

- I put you in jail! - Yes sir, but I want to talk to the general.

Really? To the general? And why not to the Republic's President?

- The President? The President is here? - Yes, he is over there waiting for you.

Idiot! Go immediately to jail, in a hurry!

There is the Republic's President.

- No, what are you saying. - Why not?

The marshal said that the President is here.

- And where is he? - Where he is? They hid him!

The President arrives and knowing which kind of man I am they hid him.

- And he had let them hide him? - What?

The President, he had let them treat him so?

What do you want by me. It wasn't me who hid him.

You don't have to tell me such things Mr Fr�d�ric, because...

you see, I love you too.

- But not like you. - Mine is real love.

- You cannot love in a different way. - You say so.

What do you feel for the major's daughters?

- What do you want I care about them. - Oh no?

So what do you think when you run after them.

To you.

- But look what a liar. - Me?

And you want that I trust you knowing everything?

I'll be stupid.

You lie to all women. There are the keyholes, don't you know?

And I saw how you play Romeo with all three.

Without any of them knowing about the others.

All three of them believing to become marquise.

What could happen if the major's wife

could imagine that you're making fun of them for your own benefit.

And if she would come to know that I love only you?

- I could be the one to tell it. - You're right but...

- You will not do it. - Why?

- Because I trust you. - Because I'm a stupid.

You can even say it.

We're always stupid when we love.

Look at me, for example. Does it seem smart stay here alone with you, without kissing you?

You had slaps and kicks...

If your is not smartness, at least is prudence.

May be.

When you are so embarrassed, you seem a little child.

- You could love a little child? - Yes.

But I would like to trust him.

The first commander of the fifty-first.

I see. Which military campaigns?

I don't know. Was a good Napoleon's friend.

I understand so he was sure a hero.

- The wife of the first commander. - Even her Bonaparte's friend?

A lot.

Napoleon had a weakness for that kind of woman.

Practically we can consider her as the first 51st's commander.

Yes. Practically.

- Come here, be good. - No no, leave me Mr Fr�d�ric.

- No. No. - But why?

- Come. - Fr�d�ric, no.

Have not I told you to trust in me?

To the glorious squadron!

That we would know how to keep in that place

gained by our notable precursors.

The place... that place...

It's going to be always the first one.

Thank you major. Sirs.

I'm very touched.

Your squadron, from what I saw,

it will always have... that place who was gained by your notable precursors.

I'm happy, really happy but...

you must excuse me but it's time to go.

Please express my satisfaction to the petty officers and to the ranks.

- We'll do it. - At your orders, general.

- It's gone well. - It could not be better.

Troop, troop! Out the guard, out the guard! Play!

- Here I cannot play, there are the mules! - Don't mind the mules, play!

Let the guard come out, the general is going away.

Really pleased. And I will be more pleased

if at my next inspection I will find

that the squadron works at the same way.

- What was it? - It always happen like this, they're wild beasts.

- They get irritated at the trumpet sound. - I understand.

- Help, they're killing me! - What's happening?

- Albertina. - A woman!

I'm glad to see that your squadron had even stallions.

Excuse me, sir.

Go home and do immediately your luggage, you hussy!

And you riffraff, you fake, you rogue,

you're not trusted anymore to get in my home.

From now your home will be the jail!

Silence! Go!

- And you're still here? - It's not my fault sir, I'm only a maid...

Enough!

Sir, the guy will meditate in jail about the regulations' relevance.

By the way, I visited all the places but not the jail.

- A lot of punished? - Hum, no...

Really a few one. But you know how is the youth.

- Even at Caesar's time the legions... - But they're just few.

- Let's see. - Please.

- You saw the general at last. - Yes.

And I don't want to see any more general in my all life. You soldiers are all the same.

- How many cells? - Two sir.

Are you prisoners that sing like this?

#And when the general arrives, we'll send him,

#we'll send him, we'll send him to the hospital.

- It's not a nice prospect. - They're joking, sir. They'll never do.

Let's hope it. Will you please...

# So many kicks, so many kiks. - Will you please introduce me

- to this noisy youth? - Sure, right now sir.

Well what are you waiting for, open!

- Don't get me nervous. - No, no.

Are you the rascals that do all this noise?

No, we were taking care of him.

- What have you? - He's dying.

- An ill here? - It's that...

- What have you, talk! - He has the diphtheria.

- A diphtheritic here? - We put him here to isolate.

Okay but... please open your mouth.

- I already saw his throat. - Now I will see it.

It seems me a mouth for the hospital.

Sergeant, this man at the hospital. He got suddenly worse.

- You know some times a diagnosis... - Yes, I know, the military medicine

is really really complex. And you, how are you?

- Fine sir. - Are you pregnant?

- No sir. - Open and pull up.

- A blanket. - It's incredible.

Don't you know that is banned to bring blankets to prison?

The regulations are clear, maybe too severe, but I didn't write it, and even you.

- Sure the regulations are the regulations. - And you? Pull up. Pull up!

- Uh, look. - Oh it's not really important.

It's just a simple observation.

Slobs!

< Sir... - Now they will drink our bottle.

Well, always worse.

- General I report myself to you. - How do you dare.

- Let them talk. What you have to say. - General...

- the food is disgusting. - Captain!

- Yes. What? - Please, please.

Yes sir. The food is disgusting. Disgusting.

It's possible that you don't care of the troop's food?

- Sir, the food is what it is. - I assure you that it's not like that,

- I always taste it. - It's not true sir.

He never taste it, if not he will realize that is made with trash and dirty water.

But if you were not happy of the food why didn't you say?

- I said. - To whom?

- To the quartermaster. - And what the quartermaster answered you?

"I don't care, I'm discharging."

But it's deplorable!

- Woeful! - Let hear you. How is the food?

- Say it to the general. - Good and abundant, sir.

Did you hear sir? "Good and abund...", what?

- And you? How is the food? - How is the food?

- Good and abundant. - Goo...

- It seems that your tastes are not shared. - But sure they're, but...

since a while ago we were all of the same opinion, sir.

It's because they're all cowards, sir.

But I'm not like them, I'll go even to the War Ministry.

- Calm by, calm. - I'm calm. I'm calm sir.

- We were all of the same opinion, but... - But what is this, a plot?

Probably, but lucky us we'll stop it from the beginning.

You are going to explain to me, captain.

No, don't worry. For this time we must be indulgent.

We must don't publicizing the thing.

The anti-military in parliament are waiting topics for their propaganda.

- How do you want general. - Set them free, all of them.

And you don't say anymore that the food is bad.

But sir, I...

Attention! To the dormitory!

Left flank, march!

Ugly cowards. Dirty cowards, do you understand the general?

The regulation says that the generals when they meet the soldiers

they had to bring them gifts, the things they have to bring.

Cookies, butter, chickens... anchovies.

Dried figs. I will report to the superiors.

Which superiors?

- What? - To whom are you going to talk.

But what do you want? Go, come on.

General I'm really sorry. I apologize.

Don't worry, but listen...

I have for your merits and your character a particular estimation,

- Thank you. - Let me finish, please.

It seems to me that you encourage those slobs there not to fear you.

May be, but I don't care to be feared.

You have... a novice's soul, dear captain.

But it's not this way that an official can guide his men.

Until now I don't know where I can guide them, tomorrow if I will know it...

I will guide them even to the graveyard.

It's a really personal way to think.

A way that will permit me to trust them in all occasions.

- May be, may be. Excuse me, commander? - Sir, I'm desolated.

It's futile to say that I don't absolutely approve the ways of...

Sure sure, but I want to talk to you of something more important.

Tell me sir.

I think that the captain had to say goodbye to his advancement wishes.

Right, he didn't make a very good impression.

The maids today, are so difficult to find, you know.

And when you have the chance to find a free maid, you cannot...

you cannot hesitate. You have to be so gentle to speak to that...

girl. I would like to let her know my address, for...

- How can we do? - Sir my wife will be very glad

- to help you in this case. - I will be very glad to honor your wife.

I have just a train that leaves a bit late.

< Guard, attention!

Present, arm!

- Orders sir? - Were not enough for today?

- Go, tomorrow there will be another dose. - Goodnight.

- You're not going to go out, obviously. - No, I stay a little bit more.

Each to his own taste... Well, goodnight.

One... two...

- Keep the step are you sheep or soldiers? - Stop!

- Marshal at you orders. - Who are they?

Sir, because the general remitted the jail to the old ones,

I punished the recalls.

There was no solution, at least tonight they would know where to sleep.

Anyway before of after to jail they will go.

- Sure to jail. - To jail.

- It's the only solution. - The only solution.

Marshal did you ever think what this guys can think of you?

No.

You didn't even think to the memory that you will leave?

- No. - I do.

I always think to the day I will leave this life and go I don't know where.

Well, I will always have a mate,

the thought that one of my soldier will say

When I was a military of the 51st's squadron, our captain was a good man named Urluret

He was mediocre, grumbling, but he understood us.

Do you understand me?

Yes.

- Okay. - Well.

Captain, how I have to manage these?

Like always. Get along with it, it's your business.

I understand.

Attention! Prisoners... walk!

Hurry up!

At ease.

What a report I did!

To the Republic's President.

He said that tomorrow he will taste the food.

Don't worry general, it's just a simple observation.

Do you want to shut up? I want to sleep.

Good... this is different from the disgusting food we eat.

Another bit, please. Without cheese.

Otherwise the mouse is going to eat even this.

Who has some baking soda? The sergeant gave me the ham, and I can't stand it.