Original subtitles

Be reasonable, sissy.

This is a matter for your local precinct. Who have done nothing?

You can't expect the police to drop everything.

Don't expect them to drop everything, just to make some kind of effort.

Now, Dennis, last year, when you asked me to chair the drive for the police

benevolent fund, didn't I drop everything?

And beg, harass, or blackmail every prominent citizen in town?

Now, that's hitting below the belt.

Chief Ironside is here for his five o 'clock appointment, sir. Oh, good. Send

him in, Gladys. Yes, sir.

Come in, Chief.

Robert Ironside. Now, they're the man who gets things done. Hey, now, wait a

minute. Please, Dennis.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Gladys didn't tell me you were busy.

Oh, sorry, Bob. Come on in.

You've met Mrs. Cardwell, haven't you? Yes, last year's police benefit, I

believe. That's right.

It's a pleasure to see you again.

Mrs. Cardwell is a great admirer of yours, Bob.

That's gratifying.

How are your case loads?

Abnormally heavy. But nothing urgent, immediate?

Dennis, you've already dropped one shoe. Why don't you drop the other?

Well, it seems that Mrs.

Cardwell... There's been a disappearance.

Andy.

Andy?

My dog.

You're kidding.

If you were to draw a graph of my career, it would be represented by an

-rising line.

First pounding a beat in the tules, then detective, detective sergeant,

detective lieutenant, and now the dizzying height of ultimate success. The

Apogee. Dog catcher. The commissioner didn't really expect you to take the

did he? I made my feelings quite clear.

Where I was firm, he was stubborn. Where I was rational, he was arbitrary.

So we compromised.

I agreed to let my staff handle this. Staff? You mean... I mean you

and you and you. Sorry, I'm not staff.

Just live here.

R -H -I -P.

Rank has its privileges.

I call it P -T -B, passing the buck.

This is what the victim looks like.

Victim? Mrs. Cardwell insisted her pet was stolen. Guess I'd better get the lab

men on it then.

Check the little mutts kennel for finger...

paw prints.

I'll put out an APB, or pooch's bulletin. Enjoy, enjoy.

It's your case.

Enjoy? Oh, why, Chief, it's the most important case you've ever trusted us

We'll get right on it. First thing in the morning. Enjoy.

Hey, Rachel.

Rachel.

Wow.

Hello.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm almost finished.

Be back in half an hour, Chief.

Say thanks for me, will you?

Uh, Rachel said thanks for giving me the morning off.

Okay. Will do.

Bye.

He sends you his regards. He's a great guy.

Hi, dear. How about some cookies?

No, thanks.

Hey, Jerry.

Hi. What's happening?

Nothing.

Yes, I ran the ad.

That's right, hair all down in his eyes.

Did he find Spunky? Sure.

Reward? Like the ad said, Mr. $25.

I don't understand what you mean.

When's he gonna bring him back then?

Hold it, Jerry.

I'll tell you what I mean, lady.

$25 ain't worth my trouble.

You don't play ball, I can sell them to one of them research places.

You know what I mean?

The kind that do them experiments on dogs.

You get the picture, lady? You wouldn't do that.

Not unless I have to. You think it over, I'll be calling you back.

When's he gonna bring Spunky back?

Well, not today, Jerry.

Why isn't he gonna bring him back?

Hey, don't worry, Jerry. We'll get your dog back.

When was he lost? Day before yesterday.

He wasn't lost.

Marie Tava saw a man put him in his car and drive away.

He was stolen.

We'll get him back.

Last shot.

Next, cut him.

Three doggies.

What's that supposed to mean? Hello, king of the dogs. How's business?

Of course, that's a great free translation.

Well, it's lousy.

Hey, you bring back my dart gun, and then I'm going to charge you another

bucks. Now, just put it on my tab, okay?

What do you think you're doing?

You're punishing my arsenal.

I gave you one yesterday.

Missing in action.

Where's the sauce?

There's a what?

Tranquilizer.

You milling my action?

Can you translate, please? Snatching dogs on your own, holding out on me?

Don't be ridiculous.

If I find out you are, you're going to be awful sorry. And I'll go to the

police, you dog -napper.

You're in it with me. Correction.

I only returned a couple of dogs to their rightful owners and neighborhoods

where you were afraid to show your face. Yeah, for part of the take you did. I'm

only a hired hand.

I'm innocent of all wrongdoing. You stole the dogs.

And it wouldn't take the fuzz long to find a few witnesses after your mean

little ferret face is pointed out to them.

Now, I gotta make a phone call.

Uh, in private?

Okay.

Oh, uh, Denby?

You can dine.

I have to wait around for that lady cop out of Sissy.

I think you'd be as concerned about Andy as I am, Marla.

Call for you, Miss Cardwell.

Will you please transfer Miss Cardwell's call to this extension?

Thank you.

Hello?

Yes?

Hello? Marla, can you meet me in five minutes?

All right.

I'm just breathing dirty, like... Uh -huh.

Okay.

Who was that?

Friend. Was it that Derek Brenner? Now, don't start that again.

Just because you're my guardian doesn't give you the right to pick my friends,

does it? It gives me the right to protect you.

Especially from a rotten cad who, in any event, is much too old for you. Cad?

You're a corn, Auntie.

Look, boys my age are perfect freaks.

And Derek has the most brilliant mind I've ever known. And how many brilliant

minds have you known?

Oh, Eve, child.

Abigail, how are you?

Oh, not too bad for a lady of my years.

And why is it we never see you at the club anymore?

I have a job now.

Oh, dear.

I warned your grandfather that aviation stocks are highly speculative.

Well, if you really are in need, child, you come to me.

I will, Abigail.

I'm sorry I'm late, Sissy.

No matter.

Have you met my niece, Marla?

Marla? Hello.

Sit down, won't you? Would you like something to drink?

No, thank you.

Now, what about Bugle Ant?

Well, I let him out for a moment yesterday, as I always do, and he just

come back. I thought you said he was stolen.

And he wouldn't simply wander off.

Look, Eve.

Though it's hard for me to picture you as such. You are a trained police

officer. Shouldn't you go to my house and be looking for clues or something?

Sergeant Brown's doing that right now.

Did you put an ad in the lost and found yet? Yes, it'll be in tomorrow's

journal. I'm offering a $500 reward.

And that's all you can tell me?

Isn't that enough?

Well, we'll see what we can do.

Goodbye, Kitty. I'll walk out with you.

Marla, I'll see you back at the house.

Seems so silly with all the real trouble there is.

For the police to be looking for a dog, we do all kinds of jobs, Marla.

Don't kid me.

That's if he's all kinds of important friends.

Well, that's the establishment, boy.

The elf.

Well, I've got that.

Gray hair, kind of ugly.

About how old were you, say?

Late 50s. And you paid a misprice.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you very much, ma 'am.

Well, that's the fifth person who said an old guy brought back his dog.

Well, it seems to me that would be kind of interesting.

Oh, hello, Mark.

Chief? You found that dog, I presume?

No, his case is really involved.

It's barely scratched the surface.

What's with all the old newspapers?

Oh, I'm contacting everybody who ever talks about lost dogs in the past three

months. Chief, is that you for this case, too?

No, Jerry lost his little dog and something fishy about it. I wanted to do

something. It's a pretty smart angle.

The chief's idea.

Oh.

Mark doesn't have your expertise. I just wanted to get him started.

Of course.

Turn up anything?

A few people placing ads have been called by some...

Gray -haired cat twisting their arms for bigger rewards. When they came through,

they got the dog. That's extortion.

And larceny.

I find it hard to believe that one man found five lost dogs in less than two

weeks. I'll go along with that.

But, Chief, I thought you didn't want any part of this case.

I'm merely trying to expedite your efforts so we can all get back to the

business at hand.

Good afternoon, everyone.

I don't see Andy.

I haven't found him yet.

What are you so happy about?

Well, I've got a lead. Pretty good one, I think.

Look at this.

The dart had to be fired from an air gun.

Here, smell.

Nicotine. That's what the lab said. What do you mean, nicotine? Like from a

cigarette? Tincture of nicotine.

Commonly used at a zoo when the vet wants to examine a tiger without losing

arm.

Thank you, Chief. Anytime.

I found it in some tall grass near Mrs. Cardwell's back door.

The dog probably shook it loose after he was hit.

And since he was right, somebody did steal Andy. Same old guy, you suppose?

Old guy.

Mark uncovered what looked like a small -time racket in stolen dogs.

I'll bet you were right. So where do we go from here?

Uh, well... Manufacturer. Place where it was sold. It's a standard air gun dart.

Every department store and sporting goods shop in the city would carry them.

Come on.

Grab some newspapers.

Thank you.

Come on, see me.

You poor lonely thing.

What's the matter with you, baby?

Huh? You look so lonely.

You're going to go home tomorrow.

Yes, you are.

Oh, poor thing, huh?

Well,

we can pick up the paper in an hour.

Aunt Sissy's ad will be in it.

Wow, $500.

You can pay for your rent for two or three months in advance. You can have

book finished by then. Marla.

Hey, uh, you know, just forget it.

What's the matter?

Is it your friend Demby? Is he giving you trouble?

No.

Well, what then?

This is really a bad scene.

Stealing dogs to pay for a pad.

No, I've had it. Just take the mutt back.

What do you mean you've had it? Just what I said.

Cutting out.

Derek.

Derek, you can't do that.

I've got a free choice, don't I?

And as of Tuesday, I'm back out in the street.

Well, you could stay here. Yeah, right. And your aunt come waltzing in on me,

right? She never comes here. No, baby, it's a bummer.

Oh, Derek.

I'll die if you leave me.

You really mean that, don't you?

I love you.

Really? Oh, you know I do.

Enough to ignore some phony establishment rules, or are you just a

girl?

I'm your girl.

Then why don't we take them?

Why don't we exploit the establishment's most plentiful commodity, and by that I

mean rich, thick therapy, middle class sentimentality. Do you understand what I

mean? Okay, I'll explain what I mean.

Look, the average square wouldn't give me his discarded pinstripe if I was out

in the cold freezing to death, but he'd give a punk like Denby ten times what

his flea -bitten dog is worth just to have it back.

I mean, Dendy's got the right idea, but he has got the wrong customers. And I

say, let's make the rich our beat, baby. And by that, I mean those slobs down at

your aunt's exclusive little club. Reward money?

But I thought... No, no, not reward money, baby.

Ransom money.

Ransom? That's right, $10 ,000 a month. We've got Andy, there's Mrs. McAdams

Poodle, and one more, $30 ,000.

Now, who is the richest cat at the country club?

Well, Trevor Winter, I suppose.

He's got a dog, right?

Yeah. Number three, the ransom paid and pooled in one operation, $30 ,000,

Marla.

Derek.

That's what you intended all along, isn't it?

Do you care?

Hey, we have to exploit sentimentality, not wallow in it.

Okay, we don't, but then we split up.

That's up to you.

Derek, do you think I'm pretty?

Well, what a question.

Do you, Derek?

Yeah, of course I do.

Thunder, where are you?

Here, boy.

Thunder!

Thunder!

Thunder!

Thunder, where are you?

Here. Here, boy.

Thunder!

Thunder!

Good morning. Jose Puente?

Si, senor.

May I come in?

Exactly. Thank you.

You want to sit down for a minute? Oh, no, thank you. Maybe a cup of coffee?

thanks. You advertised for a lost dog.

A neighbor, a lady, very nice lady, she say to me, Jose, you put head and maybe

you get your dog back.

And you gave this address but listed no telephone number.

I have no telephone.

Was there any... Come here and he say, how much you pay?

I say, ten dollars.

He said, no, that's not enough.

How much did he want?

Mucho. Twenty -five dollars?

Much. Fifty?

Si, senor.

50 dollars.

And I say, no tengo.

And he say, I get, and then he'll come back here sometime, maybe.

Now, he say that if I don't pay the dinero, maybe somebody else will buy the

dog.

What did this man look like?

Oh, Anglo.

And did he happen to have gray hair?

Como?

Gray. Ah, este, si, si, si. Como este, senor, si.

Thank you very much, sir.

If you hear from this man again, please let me know.

Si, senor.

Thank you.

Senor.

Maybe, maybe you find my dog, huh?

Maybe. The lady

neighbor, she took the picture of Miguel. His name is Miguel.

You tell this man that Miguel is no good for nothing, your dog.

Nobody would pay anything for him.

He's a dog.

Un perro malo.

He eats too much. He scratches too much. And then he barks too much.

He's a real bad dog, huh?

Yes, but... It's just that I... I understand him.

Morning, Chief.

How'd you make out?

Dog up another one for the old man.

Oh, that makes 62 out of 457 cases of missing dogs.

Yeah, and most of them were legit. The dogs were returned and came back by

themselves. But the M .O. on the 62 is the same.

Jack up the reward or no dog. Think somebody would have complained.

All these people cared about was getting their pets back.

They were afraid we'd upset the apple cart.

Well, what now?

You have a suspect.

You have a case against him.

When are you going to wrap this up? In time, Chief. As soon as we can set up a

way of trapping him.

Hello, everyone.

Good morning.

I'd like a word with you, Bob. Many as you wish.

Susie Cardwell just called me.

Two pets of other members of her club were stolen last night. Now, that's more

than a coincidence.

No coincidence at all.

Right now, we're investigating a suspect who stole 62 dogs in the last 90 days.

62?

Well, that's a wholesale racket. I'd say so.

The thief merely returns the dogs to their owners to collect the rewards.

Has this happened in Hermosa Heights? Not that we know of. Well, you ought to

find out.

One of the victims is Trevor Winthrop. Winthrop Foundation?

Trevor's blind.

He has a seeing -eye dog.

Yes, I know, which makes it all the more deplorable.

Who's the other?

Mrs. Abigail McAdams.

Oh, poor Abby. She absolutely dotes on Mitzi.

I'll get it.

We're the club member, Eve. Hello. You better talk to those people.

Right. Just a minute. With all due respect to you, Eve, I think that Chief

Ironside should handle this personally. Dennis, we made an agreement.

Well, that's it.

Rachel said the guy called her again, and she met his price.

He's bringing the dog back in an hour.

The break you've been looking for.

I think we should get right on it. Yes, sir.

Eve, you talk to the Hermosa Heights people, Mark, and I'll handle this.

It's very efficient stuff.

You're absolutely right.

I trained them myself.

You sure have.

Hey, now, wait a minute, wait a minute. It ain't yours.

Not till we finish our business.

How about the reward?

I have it right here.

Twenty -five dollars.

Now, listen.

I told you on the phone I wasn't going to settle for no 25 bucks.

This must cost me a lot of trouble.

Expense, feeding them and all like that.

I want at least 50. I call that fair.

I call it extortion.

Hey, what is this? Who are you?

Police.

All right, all right, all right.

You're under arrest.

You have the right to remain silent. Why should I?

I ain't done nothing.

Except doing a good deed, maybe.

You're like a way out of my way just to bring this poor kid his lost dog back.

Not lost.

Stolen. And that's good for six months on the work farm.

I want a lawyer. You'll get one.

We'll take him down and put him in the lineup.

Jerry, can you find the girl who said she saw him steal your dog? Yes, sir.

name was Marie Thomas.

You don't suppose there are any other dogs stashed away somewhere?

Let's go.

Have them get him back to the shelter and notify their owners.

Hey.

Hey, there.

Hey, I bet you're Miguel, aren't you?

Miguel? Mr. Fuentes' dog, the man I went to see.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Cute, cute little rascal.

You suppose it would be out of the line of duty to take him back personally?

Well, like the chief says, it's your case.

Yeah?

Come on, here. There we go.

Enjoy. Yeah.

All right, Miguel.

You.

Miguel, come back here.

I'm sorry, Chief. We'll get him.

Miguel. Miguel. Miguel. Come on. Come on, boy. Out of here. Come on, Miguel.

Come on. Come on, baby.

Come on, boy. Come on. Come on, boy. Come on.

Look,

maybe we can drag him out, huh? You drag him out. I just had these pants

prepped.

Come on, boy.

Miguel, come here right now.

Please? Come on, boy. Miguel, bring the key.

Just have to speak his language, that's all.

Well, Chief, we are sorry about that. Mr.

Fuente, the dog's owner, wasn't home, so we thought... You turned the office

into a kennel, naturally. Come on, Miguel.

No, no, that's all right. Leave him.

Anybody who hates small children and dogs can't be all bad.

Well, now, I presume Miguel's visit means you've closed the case.

Oh, well, not exactly. I mean, there are still a couple of loose ends. For

instance? Well, we didn't find Mrs.

Cardwell's dog or the other two, but we're working on it.

I realize I stuck you with a somewhat unusual case, Ed.

I'm sorry.

I'd be very pleased if you would allow me to help.

I appreciate that, Chief, but I think we've got it pretty well licked, and I

wouldn't want you to waste your time.

Jump in. The water's cold.

Okay. Let's go for a ride.

You didn't get much from the old man.

His name's Denby. And he's our man, all right. At least one of them.

A half dozen witnesses pick him out of the lineup.

You said one of them.

Denby spilled.

There was somebody else involved up until yesterday.

He didn't know his name. Denby called him Wonderboy. He said he spoke like he

swallowed a dictionary.

Good -looking, 20s, blonde, a little over six feet.

A few days ago, he borrowed Denby's dart gun. It could be the one who stole Mrs.

Cardwell's dog and the others.

Did you find Sart's office?

Yes, sir. He's right here.

The commissioner?

Oh, Dash.

I just wanted to congratulate you and your staff, of course. You've exposed a

mean, vicious racket.

Thank you, Dennis, but you're being a little premature, I'm afraid.

Case isn't closed yet. Why not?

What do you mean?

Well, the suspect is still at large.

Three animals haven't been recovered. Mrs.

Cardwell's, Winthrop's. Bob, you mean you haven't heard?

Heard what?

Sissy recovered her dog.

She called me less than an hour ago.

Recovered it?

How? Someone turned it in for the reward.

It wasn't stolen?

No.

Trevor told Sister that somehow the dog got locked in the garage all night.

I assume he filled you in on all of this. No, she just got back.

Now, what about Mrs.

McAdams? Oh, Bob, one dog.

All right.

But we really lost.

Anyway, the case is closed. I'm sorry, Commissioner.

But when I'm assigned to a case, I decide when it's closed.

But you didn't want it in the first place.

I haven't seen Sissy, Chief, or Abigail either. The maid said she went shopping.

Shopping?

Shopping?

Strange behavior for a woman who's just had her beloved pet stolen?

Well, Abby's getting on, and you know.

And Winthrop's dog was locked up in the garage all night and didn't bark to get

out? Well, if he did, no one heard him.

Shepherds are noisy, Eve.

Trevor said that the chauffeur found him in the morning when he went out to get

the car.

Then he took Thunder to the vet.

You saw the dog before they left? No. He was gone when I arrived.

What are you getting at?

I'm not sure.

But as of this morning, three people were in an uproar about their stolen

and a few hours later, the sun rises, the storm subsides, and all is serene.

Odd, isn't it?

What I don't like is Marla's getting involved in this thing. I'm not afraid,

Aunt Sissy.

Well, I am.

But, Sissy, what choice have we? They said if we don't do exactly as they tell

us... Excuse me, Mrs. Cardwell.

The police are here to see you.

Sissy, how could you?

We were warned not to call the police. Abigail, please. I didn't call them.

them I can't see them. Tell them that I'm... Why don't you tell me yourself,

Mrs. Cardwell?

Thank you, Bobby.

Yes, ma 'am.

And while you're at it, you might tell me about that man who brought your dog

back.

Or you, Mr. Winthrop. You might want to tell me where Thunder is. He's not at

the vet. I checked.

In fact, all three of you might start telling me the truth.

You must leave at once.

This is a private club for members only.

But I'm a member, Abigail.

Oh, dear.

You are, aren't you, child?

Chief Ironside, what brought you here?

What have you found out? Enough to suspect that all three of you were being

victimized. A sissy.

Show him the ransom note.

I found this in my mailbox this morning.

$10 ,000 apiece.

You're all prepared to pay that?

Thunder's worth ten times that much to me.

It really isn't very much to us.

Nothing if it will save the lives of our dogs. And what guarantee have you?

You mean they take our money and then just cold -bloodedly... Oh, he wouldn't

a thing like that, Mr. Winthrop. He?

Well, whoever. He would, and I believe he will.

Miss Cardwell.

This letter designates you as go -between. Are you willing to do that?

Yes, sir. All right.

When they call tomorrow, go ahead and meet them.

We'll be in a position to protect you. I'm counting on you. Chief Ironside,

promise me you will do nothing to endanger my Mitzi.

I assure you we won't, Mrs. McAdams.

Have we permission to tap your telephone, Mrs. Cardwell?

Of course.

All right, all right, sir.

Just don't push the panic button, okay?

I'm scared.

Scared of what, the police?

Well, they're going to record your voice when you call. Don't worry about it.

And they're going to follow me. But not for very long. I'll see to that.

How?

By using the one thing they lack, baby.

Intelligence.

Something could go wrong.

If something goes wrong, we simply fail to make contact. Simple?

Hey, baby, you're not going to bug out on me now, are you?

You better go home now.

It's okay, Andy.

It won't be long now.

Right, Derek?

Right.

for Miss Marla Cardwell? This is Marla Cardwell speaking.

The message reads, at 10 o 'clock, be at the public phone booth in the bus

station at 27946 Elm Street.

Thank you.

Strange. What?

That she didn't ask the operator to repeat the message.

Yes, particularly that address. It's a five -digit number. Easily misunderstood

under any circumstances, let alone those of a nervous, frightened girl about

to... rendezvous with a criminal. It was like she knew in advance what the

message was going to be, but that's ridiculous.

Any more ridiculous than someone dropping that ransom letter into Mrs.

Cardwell's mailbox in broad daylight?

That's what he must have done.

There was no postmark on the envelope.

Marla put it there?

It's a possibility we can't ignore.

Transmitters in the briefcase and all checked out? Right. I only wish it were

more powerful, any bigger, and somebody would have noticed it.

It's good up to a mile.

How about the receiver?

Does it always do that? It beeps when we get close to the money.

All right. Elm Street.

Iron said?

They know you're following me.

And the man said if you don't stop, they won't make contact.

What else did he say?

To go back home and wait for instructions.

All right.

Ed and Eve will follow you. We'll be at headquarters.

Let me know immediately when they contact you. Yes, sir.

Yes. They've spotted us.

Marla's going home.

Tailor and see that she gets there with the cash.

Right.

How do you think they knew about us?

Nobody told them?

Nobody knew but Marlon, the old folks, and surely they didn't say anything.

What do you mean, surely?

They all lied before.

Hindsight. Chief, we're losing the signal.

Check the receiver.

Check the receiver.

A -OK.

Then forget about Marla and get back to that phone booth fast.

Right.

City Cartwell.

Let's show a little speed.

Yes, Chief Ironside. Safe and sound.

Mr. Law Sergeant Brown. Sit tight.

Call me if you hear anything.

Yes, sir.

Well, she didn't set time.

She would.

Follow her.

All

right,

Todd. The money's gone. What do we do now?

Retrieve it.

Thank you.

finish your book.

Did you ever doubt that we would? Just mind over muscle?

Hey, let's savor the deeper satisfactions.

We fool the establishment.

Okay?

I think we better tidy up the loose ends.

What's that?

Chloroform?

Derek.

Come on, baby. These dogs are the only evidence against us. Now, we just can't

leave them.

But, Derek, you said that we could let them loose on the golf course tonight.

Come on, baby. I think you better wait in the car.

No.

Listen, I said I think you better wait in the car.

No.

Poodle and the shepherd are in the bedroom.

Chloroform.

They must have run off into the woods.

A million acres out there.

We're going to need more men, Chief.

I don't think so.

Mark, let him loose.

You mean let him loose? Let him loose and follow it.

We have to split up.

Yeah, baby, that's right. Yeah, right. You're not gonna leave me!

This way.

Stay here.

It's in there someplace.

It's split up.

Just beautiful.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Miguel, Miguelito, ¿no te he dicho que tengas cuidado con los extraños? Que sea

esto una lección para ti.

Translation, haven't I warned you about strangers, Miguel? Let this be a lesson

to you.

Mr. Puente, Chief Ironside Mark Sanger. How do you do?

Señores.

Miguel, siéntese.

Señor.

You know that I keep my word. I'm not permitted to accept rewards.

Oh, no?

Oh,

but

this is worth much more.

It's beautiful.

I'm honored, mi gracias.

Muchas gracias.

Señorita, señores. Hey, a casa.

Venga.

Buenas, buenas.

Adiós. Adiós.

See, our time is when this job does have its rewards.

New comedy comes to ITV3, and it's off to the bullfight, where love is tested.

Kate Barron and Gwen Taylor, Duty Free, is next.