Original subtitles

Two. Get the ribbon clerks out. What are you so proud of?

Just to play the game.

What kind of crazy game is that?

Seven down, pitch two, pathway two, high -low roll.

I'm sorry I asked.

No, really, it's a good game.

Sure, for little old ladies who have no respect for the grand old game of stud.

I think I'll stick with the grand old game of stud.

Or draw.

You're all for the rest of the gambling.

You don't understand, Commissioner.

You see, these pennies represent matchsticks.

I think law school is ruining you.

Well, how is everyone?

We're fine, Dennis.

Something on your mind?

No, no, no, no, nothing special. Just, uh, just happened to be in the

neighborhood. Something's on your mind.

It's the society row burglaries. Three in four weeks.

We've read the reports.

I know it's no more of a crime for the wife of Wallingford Jones to lose her

pearls than Mrs.

X. I got a call from Wallingford this morning. Friend of yours?

Not that it matters.

If I could tell him you were going on the case.

Well, we've got a good -sized caseload right now, Commissioner.

But we'll work on it.

Ironside.

Yes, he's here.

Yes, what is it?

Oh, that's just dandy. Thank you.

Another beanie on society row.

A lift on the victim came home and routed the intruder before he took

You get a look at him? Well, if he did, he'll have it in his column in the

morning. Probably with my picture.

Larry Curtis.

When do you want to start on this?

Now.

Thank you, John.

Our friend must be a real novice.

You missed this.

It's very handsome.

Yeah, my father used to fill it with champagne and brandy every New Year's

He'd pass it around. Is anything missing, Mr. Curtis?

Not a thing.

I'm talking about jewelry.

Do you have any about the place?

My mother's engagement ring.

I'm checking to see if it's still there.

You're distracting him.

That's the nicest thing you've said to me all week.

Want me to go? No.

Just keep his mind on business.

Police business.

There it is.

I never saw this off my mother's hand while she was alive.

What time did you come from the opera, Mr. Curtis?

I escaped at the end of Act Two.

That was about 10 .30.

Did you come right home?

Yeah.

Had undressed, got into bed, just getting ready to drop off to sleep, and

heard the closet door squeak.

I guess he must have hid in there when he heard me come in.

I couldn't see a thing until a goon with a stocking pulled over his head slid

past the window.

An old Larry the Good Guy reached for the nightstand drawer, pulled out his

equalizer, drilled him right in the heart.

Actually, about three feet east of the old pump, you'll find the bullet in the

bedroom wall.

What then?

Dialed O, said police, help.

Look what they sent me.

How did a girl with a name like Eve ever get to be a policeman?

Mr. Curtis, we're here on official business.

And if we may continue it with a pertinent question.

How big a man was he?

About medium size, I guess.

That help any? Well, it eliminates Will Chamberlain and Mickey Rooney.

Come on, Eve.

And you might as well leave that here.

We may want to see you tomorrow, Mr. Curtis.

Say, you, uh...

You ever off duty?

Can't answer that. I'm on duty.

All within the radius of three miles, all the houses of well -to -do people

were conveniently empty, and our man knew it.

That'll be Commissioner Randall for me.

Chief Hindsight's office.

For you.

Hello?

Oh, yes.

What can I do for you?

Well, you said you'd want to see me.

I've been waiting by the phone ever since.

Well, it's... I mean, we haven't found it necessary to get back to you yet.

That's what I call police brutality.

I've got an idea how you can improve your public image, though.

How about tennis this afternoon?

Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Curtis. I don't go out with people I meet on the job.

Will you please tell him this is not a dating service, that we have work to do?

He wants to play tennis.

You're on duty.

Could you hold just a moment?

It happens to be my day off.

All right. You're of age. I'm not your father. Why ask me?

I'm not asking you.

I'm telling you. Good.

That's settled.

And may I suggest that you tell your Mr. Curtis to keep your name out of his

society column?

It might make the less favored ladies of the force restless.

I'll be glad to play tennis with you, Mr. Curtis.

Pick me up in an hour. Bayside Apartments.

Goodbye.

Do you have anything against this man?

I haven't said a word against him.

It's your attitude.

I withdraw my attitude.

How about it? Some more chicken?

No, thanks.

You were saying about your parents.

Oh, they're in Egypt, according to their last letter.

Father dabbles in archaeology.

Hieroglyphics, dead languages, ancient scrolls. That's his hang -up.

And your mother?

She plays a ferocious game of duplicate.

That's her escape.

And her daughter turned out to be a fuzz.

How come?

Well, I thought it was about time one of the Whitfields should get involved with

reality.

The sun's about low enough now.

How about a drink? Like what? Oh, like a Manhattan, a martini, an old

-fashioned, a daiquiri. All right.

Someone's dying.

Being born.

Arrested. In trouble.

Forget it.

They're no concern of ours today.

Yes, they are.

I didn't know you felt that strongly about it.

I'm double glad you came.

Give you a chance to get away, relax.

No more responsibility to sad, poor, desperate people. No more deadlines.

No more evenings learning karate, judo. Karate, judo? Wasn't she married during

this Borg night? There you go again.

The slick court jester.

You know, every now and then the real you slips through.

And it's very nice.

I didn't know it showed.

If it hadn't, it would have been a short, sweet hour on the courts.

And I'd have been long gone.

Hi, Dave.

Eve, you know Dave Tidwell? Very well.

Hello, Dave.

What are you doing out of harness? Or is that the new uniform for the San

Francisco police?

Don't tell anybody. I'm revolutionizing the force.

It's about time.

Am I going to see you tonight at the Collins'?

Yeah. I might even bring the cop.

It's about time she got back into some social life.

Well, I'll see you later, then.

You didn't have to see my ball around here, did you?

Oh. Yeah, well, I'll just skip this hole.

How about it? You want to go to the Collins tonight?

Probably be a lot of people there. Some of your old friends.

Why not?

I better call my service boy and take you home to Jane.

I don't know whether to tell you the truth or make up something more

We've had a small fire in the composing room.

I have to rewrite my entire column.

Will it take long?

Long enough to spoil a whole evening.

I'm sorry, baby.

It's been a great day.

Permit.

No need to ask.

I had a very pleasant time yesterday.

Out all night, I suppose.

Error in deduction.

I was home before dark, and you won't find my name in the column.

Ironside.

Another one?

Now, why don't they lock up their old emeralds in a vault?

Neighborhood. House empty for the evening. They were at a party.

Didn't discover the loss of the necklace till this morning.

Tidwells. The David Tidwells?

You know them?

Oh, we ran into him yesterday.

At the party?

We never got to the party.

Something came up at his office and he had to go to work.

Who's he?

Now, who was I out with yesterday?

Oh, him.

Yes, him.

And I don't understand your inflection.

Very well. Oh, him.

Is that better?

Keep trying. You'll get it.

Do I detect some chemistry between the two of you?

If there is. I don't suppose him would deign to share a pot of chili with a

common flatfoot.

He might, if you put away the needle.

Very well.

Check my social secretary and see if we can pencil him in some evening dinner

today.

Yes, sir.

Where are you going?

I have to get my hair done. Eve, if you can spare the time afterward, call on

the Tidwells and pay your respects.

They're giving the commissioner fits.

You're being a little rough on her, aren't you, Chief?

Why don't we just say I'm a concerned friend?

So are we all.

But she had a date, so what?

And what's this dinner at eight routine?

I think we should extend the...

Courtesies of the department, Dave's young man.

Adding socket to him. On the contrary, find out more about him. For concerned

friends, we might be getting into something that isn't our business.

On the other hand, it might be our business.

What's up? I need a favor.

There was a fire in your composing room last night.

Well, word sure gets around.

Some of the printers and reporters had to come back to work, right? Right.

Which one are you interested in? Larry Curtis.

Is he in trouble? Did he come back to work?

Yeah. I took down his copy myself.

Thanks, Vic.

It's a very good suave.

Thank you.

Well, it's a supermarket special.

$1 .49 a bottle.

Here it is.

Your house was broken into and you know most of the others that were robbed. You

have any theories?

Right off the top of my head.

Could it be a private patrol officer?

Or have I been brainwashed by James Bond?

We checked it out. It didn't wash.

Chief, does any of the stuff like Dory Tidwell's necklace ever get recovered?

No, usually not. Fence takes it apart, disposes of it bit by bit.

And the thief goes merrily on his way.

I'm in the wrong business.

You do all right.

I'd like to own that big car of yours.

So would I.

Well, the finance company thinks I ought to pay for it first.

I'll probably have to stick up a bank.

To crime.

I'll drink to that.

Young and warm and soft, pretty.

You spend all your time hanging out with a passel of cops and detectives.

I bet you even carry a gun.

Now that bothers me.

Somebody could shoot back, you know.

Well, he was trying too hard.

I think I would, too, if I had to face this mob.

We're not a mob.

It's getting kind of hard to tell.

I don't find anything wrong with him.

Neither do I. He's okay for a columnist.

What's wrong with columnists? Nothing.

But would you want your sister to marry one?

Listen, we're all letting this guy out of hand, you know that?

I mean, she's only had a couple of dates with a guy. That doesn't mean she's

serious. I read the tea leaves properly.

She's seriously considering getting serious.

Okay. So what?

So, he lives in Pacific Heights, where we've had six burglaries.

So he not only knows the people involved, but his work demands he know

they're doing.

Which includes knowing when they're not at home.

Suddenly, out of the blue, he's keeping close touch with a policewoman who's

working on the case.

Chief, are you sure you're just not looking for excuses?

No, I'm not sure.

So I'm going to do exactly what any other worried friend would do when he's

detected. You want a complete dossier on him, right?

Right.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Another one?

What is this, personal question night? Just call it a personal quest.

Okay.

How long are you going to stay with the police department?

I never thought about it.

I signed up to work. I'm working.

Well, when you signed, didn't you say, I'm going to do this for three years or

five years or until the right guy comes along and I get married or until there's

another earthquake? I have thought about the earthquake.

But never the right guy?

Sometimes I meet girls I went to college with.

They have husbands, children.

And they're all hung up with diapers and the local charity and entertaining the

boss to get the husband a raise.

No. Well, some of them, yes, but most of them are very happy.

They have happy homes.

They're very fulfilled people.

So am I.

I think that's what it's all about.

You know what I think it's all about?

What? I think everybody needs somebody to walk through life with.

You know, like a... a hand to hold.

Okay, Mr. Larry Curtis.

Sign of old California family.

Swimming team at Stanford, graduation.

Then he drifted for a while.

Doing what?

Just drifting, as far as I could find out.

Mother and father died.

Everybody thought the father had plenty salted away, but Curtis inherited

nothing but debts and went to work for the first time in his life. The only

thing he could do. And he wasn't kidding about the car having a big loan on it.

Not a bit. Sure lives it up.

Yeah, charge accounts at all major stores.

If he doesn't make much and if he doesn't have much, how does he manage to

his bills?

Well, here's the clinker.

He makes regular deposits in his checking account at the bank and then

and then a big chunk.

Bonus for the paper. I call them. They don't give bonuses to columnists.

Why don't we ask you?

Yes, thank you.

Not yet.

His answering service said they'd tell him.

Answering service?

Yeah, they picked up.

Answering service.

They take messages and give them to you when you call in.

And if you're expecting an important call, they tell you where the client is

how long he'll be there.

In short, since the coast is clear.

Now, let's say Mr.

X is going to be out for the evening and is expecting an important call from Mr.

Y. Now, Mr.

X would let you know where Mr.

Y could reach him, wouldn't he?

Well, that happens all the time.

Would you be good enough to let me glance at a list of your subscribers?

Oh, certainly.

Right here.

Hey, Mr. Gorman. Ain't she ready yet?

She'll be out in a minute, Sam.

Tell her to get a move on. I got a parking meter running on me.

That man.

He's probably parking on somebody else's nickel, too.

Mr. Gorman, as late as last night, someone has been tipping off a

thief or thieves when houses in this area were going to be unoccupied.

Now, it occurred to us that perhaps a private exchange operator would have

information. Mr.

Ironside, you don't think one of my girls... We have to investigate all

possibilities.

Oh, but Helen and Sally, they've been with me for years. And Joyce, Joyce came

to me highly recommended.

Are they married?

Joyce is married to Chuck Bolden. He runs a gas station over near the

Sally... She's married to Sam Harmon. He's a carpenter. Oh, that was him just

now. And Helen, well, she's still hoping.

Someone in particular?

Arthur Nadliano.

He's an insurance.

Would you be good enough to let me have the addresses of the girls?

Oh, please.

You're not going to give them the third degree?

Chances are they won't even know they're being checked out.

By the way, I'd appreciate it if you'd telephone me at this number next time

of your wealthy subscribers tells you he's going to be out for the evening. I

surely will.

And I guess you don't want me to say anything to the girls.

I appreciate it. All right.

You call

me.

But if each of the girls has a guy, why would any of them tip off Curtis?

I didn't say they did.

Then how would he know?

Mitchell Gorman, for all her sweet ways, is not above suspicion.

I'm going to believe this.

The telephone company stole your dime. Worse.

I've been waiting for months for an interview with General Doe.

He says tonight.

Oh.

Good morning, Keith.

Well, I'm glad you're in a happy mood.

I am.

Just enthralled with life, or is there some special reason?

Is there something you'd like to talk to me about?

Me?

No.

Well, there's something I'd like to talk to you about.

Coffee?

Please.

When I signed up with the department, well, I

just signed.

I didn't think I'd give myself three years or five years

and then quit

and get married or something.

And now you're thinking.

Not really.

Oh, I guess what I'm trying to say is... Maybe someday.

Eventually. Of course.

But why don't we wait until that time?

I guess a girl just likes to be prepared.

Okay,

I've got it.

Another burglary.

I don't know who our boy is, but he's certainly working overtime.

I really could need another thing.

This is my piece de resistance.

What is it?

Black Book's Lambay.

What are you

doing

now?

Oh, just tidying up.

Ironside. Oh, Mr. Ironside.

This is Miss O 'Gorman.

Yes, Miss O 'Gorman.

I just came on duty, Mr. Ironside, and I looked through all the messages.

The Harvey Blairs will be out tonight.

We're to transfer all their calls down to San Mateo.

Has anyone called for the Blairs?

Oh, let's see.

Oh, Mr.

Curtis called.

Oh? He wanted to check something out for his column.

Thank you, Miss O 'Gorman.

Oh, I'm so happy to cooperate, Mr. Ironside. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

All right, take out tonight.

Eve will be here in an hour. You're not going to let her come alone?

No, I wouldn't do that to her, Mark.

Hey, I'm lonely!

I'm almost finished.

This is my dinner, you know. I mean, you're not supposed to be doing dishes.

Can I at least help?

I don't believe in it.

You know, there's an old proverb that says a woman's place is in the oven.

That's a terrible place to be.

How about barefoot in the kitchen?

It's a little better.

Would you?

Would I what?

Run around in my kitchen, barefoot, always.

Is it such a shock?

You can't tell me you haven't been expecting it.

I was.

What's wrong, then?

Nothing. Yes, there is. You've been acting strange for the past few days.

Get yourself in deeper in your thought, is that it?

Well, if that's not it, then why can't you marry me?

Run around in my kitchen barefoot and quit your job.

Larry, I like my job.

I don't.

I guess I could accept it if you had a nice, safe desk job or something like

that.

But you walk on dangerous ground. I don't want you to get hurt.

Let's talk about it another time. I'd like to talk about it now.

I'm on duty soon.

Could we go?

Keep the men well ahead and then set up... Set up communications so I'll know

what's happening.

Right. Ed, they're waiting for you downstairs.

What's with your lot of steak out at Pacific Heights?

Um... Wait a minute.

Is this on the burglary case?

Yeah.

Well, if I remember correctly, I'm also in that case. There is no need for my

entire staff to be on a simple stakeout. Do you have something more important

for me to do here? Well, yes, of course I do. What?

Is there some special reason you don't want me there?

All right, we'll all go. Maybe somebody will show up with a bottle of champagne

and we can have a party.

Mark!

You're very quiet.

Just thinking.

Want to think out loud?

No.

Maybe you're right to think about quitting your job. A man like this, a

should be out with her felon on a stakeout.

Yeah.

Stakeouts are funny things.

You can wait all night and nothing will happen.

Or you catch who you're waiting for.

Though you get surprised altogether.

What are you trying to tell me, Chief?

We're here.

Later.

Yes, I can hear you fine, Ed.

I want a contact every five minutes.

Oh, Roger.

Nice time tonight?

Yes.

You hung up on him?

Sorry, I didn't mean to pry.

You know, I just didn't know what to say.

Oh.

Yes. me to marry him.

And?

It's not all that simple.

Besides, a girl gets attached to her work, her life,

her friends.

Glad to hear it's so hard to give up.

I won't.

Good. Unless I'm absolutely sure.

Oh.

And you're not?

Absolutely sure about him.

No.

Listen, Eve. What?

All right.

What's going on around here?

Everybody's treating me like some kind of child.

Exactly what's wrong?

Nothing.

I took the liberty.

Catch anybody on the fleek out?

What's wrong?

Well, for one thing, you're in my office. The door was open. He said come

time. Here I am.

Just a social call or something special you wanted.

Eve.

I telephoned. No one answered. How did you know about a stakeout? When you were

gone, I just figured that's where you were. Just how did you figure that?

The detectives aren't the only ones who detect.

Newsmen do, too.

Suppose you explain your procedure.

Maybe we can all learn something.

Yes, Henry.

Please explain it.

are our informants, even in a police department.

That's how I knew where you were.

You didn't prove that.

Sorry. I have to protect my source.

Honey, I got to thinking about what we said tonight.

I couldn't just let it go at that.

I had to talk to you.

Well, don't you believe me?

Just what am I supposed to be guilty of? Quite possibly checking to see where we

were tonight.

Before going to that house yourself.

As long as we can talk about it freely, that's what I think, too. All right,

then. Arrest me. You didn't actually come near that house tonight.

Or else.

We didn't see you.

At least one of you thinks I'm innocent. I didn't say that.

But what do you think? You could be here to show us how innocent you are.

Just the same way you might have staged that burglary in your own apartment.

May I suggest you take the back elevator and avoid Officer Woodfield?

I'm sorry, Mr. Curtis. She doesn't want to take your call.

Yes, I'll tell her.

He'd like you to call him back.

You've suspected him for some time, haven't you?

Yes. Why didn't you tell me?

We're not sure he's guilty, Eve. You've got everything but catching him in the

act. Circumstantial.

It could still go either way. You know which way it will go. Eve.

Eve.

Are you in love with him?

I'm still not sure.

Maybe I was in love with the idea of being in love.

Telling me all along that he was writing a novel so that he could really make it

big.

Instead of that column and an occasional sale of a short story.

All the time he was a thief.

Well, we still don't know that for sure.

Why don't we remember that we are working members of a police force and

for sure?

Suppose you tell our two friends that they don't have to lurk any longer in

pool room.

Go on.

Storm's over.

Hallelujah. Amen.

I'm still convinced the switchboard is the key to the robbery.

Yeah, but which one of the girls is in on it? Helen, George, Sally, or Mr.

Gorman herself?

Well, there's one way to find out.

Set up a big prize, phone it in, and see who shows up. Oh, too late.

I know we're watching the answering service.

Too hot for them to repeat right now. Even if it's a really big prize?

Carpenters still hammer nails.

Insurance men still sell insurance.

And columnists still need news.

They might take a chance if we leak it to them indirectly and not go through

answering service.

You hear that?

Hello, Mr. Nataliano?

Speaking. This is John Evans' assistant.

Mr. Evans is interested in an insurance policy and would like to talk to you

about it. Of course, I can run by his office any time. Um,

this afternoon?

Uh, no, he's tied up, and he'll be out of town tomorrow.

How's your day after?

Fine. Uh, fine. In the morning. Ten o 'clock.

Thank you, Mr. Nataliano.

Yeah, this is him. This is Mrs. John Evans' secretary.

Mrs. Evans would like to remodel her kitchen and would like an estimate.

Okay. I'll try to get over there tomorrow.

No, I'm sorry. The family will be out of town tomorrow.

Could you make it Friday?

Mm -hmm.

What's the address?

Okay, well, um... All right, I'll be there in the morning.

Uh -huh.

Larry, how are you, boy?

Good, good.

Listen, you know how officials are about publicity.

Sensitive, that's a good word.

Well, I was thinking I'd have time for some fishing, and I just knew you

wouldn't print it in case it comes across your desk.

Right. Uh -huh.

John Evans and I. That's a couple of days.

Bring her back some trout, if we're lucky.

Right. Yeah, I knew you'd understand.

Take care.

Yes, sir. Fill it up, please. Right.

Be with you in a minute, sir. Okay.

Hey, you got the chief in there? That's right.

Well, they got you locked up where you belong, have they?

Oh, W, what are you doing in the fresh air?

No more money to count or companies to buy?

Grandpa, I got to go to the bathroom.

I'll make a deal with you, Bob.

You let me play Sherlock, and you take my grandchildren up to the Redwood for

the night. I'd like that. You know something?

You couldn't pay me to change places with you. Grandpa!

Okay, the Marines are coming, Johnny. Hold the fort.

There you are. Fill it up.

All right, Johnny. Here we go.

Here we go.

Give me your hand.

All right.

You want me to check under the hood?

No, thanks. We're in a hurry. Here you are.

All right. Thank you.

That's fine, Sergeant.

Just keep them undercover.

We're on our way.

The men are staked out and waiting for us.

You didn't have to be here.

I know.

Here.

It's him.

I'll do my job.

And cry later.

Here we go.

Wait for him to come out, then move.

Right. You think he's all right?

You be.

I doubt it.

If it's Curtis, I'm going... If it's him, you look after Eve and leave Curtis

me.

Take that stocking off him.

You knew I'd be here. We knew someone would. But Joyce and I decided to lay

the answering service for a while. You were getting too close. I set this one

myself.

I'll have my belongings.

We'll have to keep these for a while.

All right.

And you're going to have to help me explain to my grandchildren why we

really on our way to the Redwoods.

Eve, how do you feel?

I'm shaking.

If it helps any, I didn't think it would be Curtis.

Why? Well, you explained his mysterious lump sums of money.

Short stories.

Written under a pen name.

There's no way of tracing it.

Well, don't you think you ought to call him?

When they took the stocking off that man's head, I held my breath.

You thought it was me?

I can't blame you.

Anyway, virtue won out.

The guys in the white hats beat the guys with the black hat.

All's right with the world.

Isn't it?

Isn't it?

No.

I like very much. Like?

It's funny. I had myself convinced you loved me.

I almost convinced myself of that, too.

If I truly loved you, I would have stood by you, tried to clear you.