Original subtitles

Connie, after you put up the car, make a pot of tea and bring it to the library.

A spider leg, I believe, is Chief Ironside's favorite.

But to shoot it... Don't argue with me. I'll ring you if I think of anything

else. But to shoot it's my night off.

What would you do with a night off?

What time is it?

The big hands on the seven, the little hands on the ten.

We're gonna be late. Yeah.

Why did you turn left?

Well, when I asked you left, you said right.

Then why didn't you turn right?

Because I thought you meant left was right.

Say it again, Mark.

Again? When do I stop?

It's Iron Pod.

Horatio kept his appointment, all right.

But not with me.

Well, no sign of the house, man, or that the place has been rifled. Pretty tidy

thief, if that's who it was. We'll get a fix on that after we've checked the

insurance company's inventory.

Chief Boardman's shaking the house down. Carney's definitely gone. We'll put out

an APB on him right away.

Motive is still up for grabs. How about forced entry?

Well, the lock on the front door was broken. I know that. What else? Just an

open window in the dining room.

And we're searching for footprints.

You won't find any.

It's been a long drive, Bill.

The grass was closely trimmed.

Well, Doc, death was instantaneous.

He was killed by a single blow on the right side of the head.

Almost certainly with that poker.

How long ago?

Within the hour.

By that, when I arrived, there was no blood coagulation around the wound.

Was the blow struck from in front or behind?

I couldn't say. Not without an autopsy.

Good night.

You'd think the killer had to be someone known to shoot to be boxed in with him

like that.

Not necessarily.

Could have been a total stranger.

A prowler he accidentally cornered in here.

All right, Ed, stake out the house.

Right.

Fingerprints on the poker match latent prints taken from glassware, dishes,

silver, you name it, found in a butler's pantry. Have to be Carney's.

He probably used the poker eight months of the year, Ed.

Fingerprints on the poker were bloody prints.

Hasn't true up with the broken lock on the front door.

No need for Carney to break into the house.

Unless he wanted to make it look like a prowler killing.

He did run.

No line on him yet? Not a trace so far.

Ironside. Chief, this is Borden.

The man we left at Chute's house last night thought he heard a prowler.

Well? He searched the house but didn't find anyone.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Of course, you've got the inventory of all of Horatio's possessions.

All of course.

Well, then I suggest we find out if there was a burqa.

Everything accounted for?

Everything down to the last one in the guest house.

This end of the house checks out.

There's some servants' quarters furnishings listed, but I doubt if

interest a burglar.

That assumption I can't buy.

We'll take a look at Carney's room.

These were in Kearney's medicine cabinet.

May I join you?

Help yourself.

Eve? Ed?

Prescription on this bottle is dated the first of the week.

Chronic gastritis.

Fresh fruit would tie him in knot.

Maybe his friends like it.

I don't think Carney ever had a friend.

Ed?

Two -day -old paper, oblong space in the center of it.

Margins splattered with dried fruit.

And water spots.

Carney had a bird in here.

You're right, Ed.

A large, fruit -eating bird.

the budget.

Well, we found Carney.

Yeah, we found him.

All right, Mr. Platt, thank you very much. We'll get back to you.

The day manager broke up the fight, but he didn't get much of a look at the

other man. Hi, Gwitty.

Hey, take that crazy blackbird.

Dracula Religiosa, member of the Starling family, Indian hill miner.

He also looks black to me.

A large fruit -eating bird.

He's worse than a screaming eagle.

Well, we just can't leave him sitting there. I'm willing.

Get him back in his cage.

Who?

You.

Okay.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Yeah.

He is all yours.

Woman's work is never done.

Hold up.

Stop that. You scared the daylights out of me.

Hi, sweetie.

Hi, sweetie yourself, you big bully.

You just don't dig his humor.

What he needs is a little sunshine.

What a cute whistle for the doggy.

Look, Mr. Carney, the question is not did you pick up the poker. We know you

did. Your fingerprints are all over it in blood.

Could be.

I just don't remember anything I did.

But you remember you didn't have a fight with Mr. Shute. Kill him with the

poker. You're certain about that?

I told you I was.

Carney.

You're not helping us.

I don't want to tell you.

I found him about the time you came and he was dead.

He could have let us in instead of running off.

You have to understand that was the act of a guilty man.

You had no reason to think you weren't alone in the house with Mr. Shute.

What about enemies?

You want to know if there are any people who might have wanted him out of the

way?

You've been living under the same roof with him for a long time.

Not the same roof.

His roof.

Everything was his.

He never let me forget.

He never let you forget?

My place.

It's like a prison.

Why didn't you quit?

There are plenty of jobs for good housemen. I'd be trading the skillet for

fire.

People are all the same when you have to wait on them. Why did you go back to

that house last night?

Because I... I don't know. I chose to.

All right, now.

This fight at the hotel, what was that all about?

Some crazy man knocks at the door and then he came at me.

I don't know what I ever did to him.

People.

He didn't say why or...

What he was after?

He didn't say anything.

Anything we can do for you?

No.

Any questions we can answer?

No.

Yes?

in the carpet.

Your bird is well taken care of.

Carney

worked

for Old Horatio Shute for 20 years.

He hated every minute of it, but he hung on.

Bends your mind if you think about it.

I am thinking about it.

A great deal.

Vicky's out of fire, Chief.

I can see that.

All right, let's get the fire extinguisher out of here and back on the

Well, Chief, you missed all the fun.

My office catches fire and you call it fun?

No fire, just smoke.

We have a smoke expeller operating.

Have the office clear in about ten minutes.

I'll take that.

Where did it land?

Over there. I'll show you.

Chemical reaction.

Just a smoke bomb.

And?

Model RL, rifle launch.

And no question, Chief. Came through the window.

All right, thank you, Lieutenant.

Mark, Ed, suppose we take a break in the park.

We're going out for some fresh air.

Now let's put this so -called fire together.

See how it shapes.

We open with Eve alone in the office.

A call comes in from communications.

I'm to report immediately to Commissioner Randall.

Obviously a plot to get you out of the office.

Obviously, since the commissioner knew nothing about it.

From the time you left the office to the arrival of the fire department... Could

only have been minutes, Chief. Yeah, but long enough.

Yeah, for a bomb to fill the office with smoke.

Why would any cat want to fake a fire? With a lot less trouble, you could have

the real thing.

Because this cat only wanted to get inside.

No one could just walk in and out of there with all those firemen swarming

Could if he were masquerading as a fireman.

Point is...

Point is, what was he after?

The bird.

Where is it?

I blew it.

Figured all the odds and still came up empty.

The great Arnie Sims struck out?

How? Doesn't matter how.

We still don't have that crummy bird.

He should have done like I said earlier.

Just gone in and swiped it.

Walked through a building full of cops carrying a birdcage.

I'm Connie McKay.

We'd like to ask a few questions.

Sure, fire away.

Mr. Alfred Carney says you sold him a bird.

Carney.

Hmm.

Yeah, I think she's familiar.

He's a suspect in Horatio Schubert.

Oh, yeah, I remember reading about that.

The bird was an Indian hill miner.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, sure.

Yeah, it talked up a storm.

You can say that again.

And again.

We have reason to believe that someone else was interested in that particular

bird. Oh, yeah?

Who's that?

That's what we'd like to find out.

Well, uh... Yeah, yeah, it was someone.

A girl. A pretty girl. She didn't ask for that bird in particular, but, um...

She got all shook up when I told her I didn't have a talking mind.

Thank you, Mr. McKay.

Oh, well, you're entirely welcome, Chief. Anytime, anything to help the

Oh, uh, Chief, um... I just happen to think, um... I mean, uh,

under the circumstances and all, uh...

You think that Carney might be willing to sell him? I mean, the bird, you know,

back to me?

No, I doubt that the owner will be interested.

But I'd be glad to pass your proposition along to him.

Well, thanks a lot.

It looks as if our killer has an accomplice.

A pretty girl.

I've seen some weirdos, but that guy McKay copped the cookies.

Friendly enough?

And willing to help the police, despite his prison record.

I give up. How?

How what?

How do you look at a guy and know that he's done time?

The way he spoke.

He kept hiding his lips so we couldn't see them.

Cons to that when they're supposed to be observing silent periods.

Right. Uh -huh.

Thank you.

Bye -bye.

Sure.

The chief was right.

Don't look so surprised.

In and out on three charges of larceny.

Five years ago, according to his probation report, he opened a pet shop.

He's been clean ever since. Good for him.

However, experience has taught me to regard penitent sinners with a degree of

caution. What did he do?

He wants to get Connie's bird back.

Maybe we should put out an APB.

Why the queue?

This is not fun and games time, Eve.

It all ties in.

It does? Yeah, I give you Horatio Shute, I give you Alfred Carney, and I give

you Robert Ironside. Now, what do we have in common?

Violence.

Shute was murdered, Carney was beaten, and your office was bugged. The common

denominator behind the violence?

At one time or another, each one of you had that bird.

And now McKay comes in and wants it. And as of this moment, seated in this

chair, in this office, at this point in time, what do I want?

To know what that bird knows.

Hi, sweetie.

What do you say, Mac?

Luda! Luda!

Luda! Luda!

Yes? This is Elder Thompson with the Herald of Hope magazine.

No, he's very busy today. Perhaps you could call back later in the week.

A woman reporter. I told her to call back. Good.

He sure is hooked on these grapes.

Whistle for the doggy.

He's hooked on any fruit that's soft enough.

These birds are always hungry.

As long as you feed him, he keeps talking. So it seems.

Fly the cue.

I tweet. That seems to be the extent of his vocabulary.

I tweet, whistle for the doggy, and fly the cue. Fly the cue. Is he trying to

say fly the coop?

Possibly. Fly the cue.

Cue.

How many words sound like Q?

Well, there's Q like in a play.

Dramatic. And there's Q, you know, a Chinese pigtail.

Cosmetic. Q isn't pool.

Sporting.

I... No, I don't think Mr.

McCobber's Q falls in any of those categories.

All right, if it's not dramatic, cosmetic, or sporting, where does it

I'd say... Detentions.

Hey. Big Q welcomes you, Chief.

San Quentin has been waiting for you with open arms.

I know a lot of people up here.

Wish I could say it was nice to see you again.

If you said it, I wouldn't believe it.

There you go again, being cynical.

It must be awful not to have any faith in your fellow man.

Sometimes it keeps me awake at night. See?

I sleep like a baby.

Maybe what I need is a hobby.

You?

I thought your hobby was ribbing up innocents.

Like me. You? I hear you've become quite an animal trainer.

Yeah.

I started with fleas, and I'm working my way up to elephants.

Oh, some guys paint, others carve, make belts, and I... You train birds.

Ah.

Ain't no law against it.

I mean, I need the breath of my canteen fund.

Did you know that Connie McKay bought your last bird?

I'm not surprised. He buys lots of stuff the guys make up here.

Groms, what do you hear from Arnie Sims?

Hey, knock it off, chief.

Can't you hop on anybody besides Sims?

You fuzz never give up, do you? I never give up trying to understand what makes

you a sucker.

You've been here two years waiting for a trip to the green room.

And Arnie?

Arnie's on the outside having a ball.

Look, I don't know what you're talking about.

I never knew Arnie Sims.

And I never killed that guard.

And you never heard of an armored truck?

And you never heard of $250 ,000?

We were never able to tie Sims in with Groans on that heist and murdering that

guard.

What would make you think...

We could do it now.

I appreciate that editorial we.

Well, maybe the royal we is rubbed off.

Ed, a good cop learns from his mistakes.

Up to now, I always figured that after the heist, Sims took the money.

Yes.

You may find it hard to believe, but there is a remote possibility.

But I may have been mistaken.

In the time you've had him, what have you taught him to say?

Nothing new. That takes a while.

And he could already say the things he says now when you got him from McKay's

pet store.

Yes, sir.

But I did teach him to imitate an auto horn.

We noticed.

What are you going to do with me now that I'm up and around?

Gonna put me in another prison?

You didn't really kill Horatio, did you? Of course I didn't. Well, then you're

free, Carney.

After all those years, you're finally free.

To do what?

Oh, anything.

You are your own man.

Thank you.

Where would I go?

There's a whole world waiting for you.

That's what you wanted, isn't it? Yes, of course.

Except... What about the house?

Jude's house?

Your prison?

It would be a place to stay.

For a while.

Perhaps I... could fix it with the executor of the estate.

For a while.

Yes, just for a while.

Goodbye, Carney.

All right, sweetie.

Couldn't I take him with me? Oh, I'm afraid not.

We're keeping him for a few days.

Mark?

Mark?

You think you're going to be all right alone?

Mark, no man is ever alone.

Chief, she's here now, in person. The reporter who's been calling for an

interview. I'll say this for her, she's persistent and predictive.

Miss Whitfield, one of your more important jobs is to protect me from

unnecessary interruptions.

Tell her I'm busy.

Just a minute, E.

You say she's a pretty girl?

Quite pretty.

On the other hand, when have we ever neglected our friends of the Fourth

Bring her in.

Want to come in?

This is Elder Thompson, Chief. She's from the Herald of Hope magazine.

Won't you sit down, Miss Thompson?

Thank you.

Well, as you probably know, our magazine is published by the Northeastern

Orthopedic Foundation.

We'd like to do a story on you.

Most flattering.

But why me?

Because you are an outstanding example of Will triumphing over a handicap.

I assume my good friend Dr.

Wright put you up to this.

The president of the foundation.

And how is Dr. Cummings?

His assistant.

Well, he's not with us anymore. He's doing research in Australia.

Yes, I believe I did read that somewhere.

Well, we might as well get started.

Well, I'm not really prepared to. I...

Just wanted to make an appointment.

Well, then, how about tomorrow?

Oh, that'd be fine.

Ten o 'clock in the morning?

Yes.

Hi, sweetie.

Pleasure to meet you.

I see you keep a parrot.

Parrot?

Hardly. That's an ugly, banana -eating cousin of a crow. I think he's

See you tomorrow, Miss Thompson.

Thank you.

Here it is, Chief.

Thanks.

All right.

Let's start the floor show.

Assume Grom's in prison.

Knows where he stashed the loot from the armored car robbery. Arnie Sims free on

the outside, doesn't.

Grom's, whose cut might keep him out of the gas chamber, had to get the

information out to Sims.

On death row, correspondence is a little difficult.

Right. So being a creative fellow, Grom's got a feathered carrier, but not

pigeon. Mr. Macabre.

Fly the cue.

That's right.

But a car accident put Sims in the hospital.

And Carney got the bird.

Hi, sweetie.

And Sims found out who had Mr. Macabre. He broke into the house, shoot,

surprised him, and was killed.

Fly the cue.

Fly the cue.

That's Grom's appeal for help.

To fly the Q means to get out of San Quentin.

Whistle for the doggy. Whistle for the doggy. Is he telling us to do something?

I doubt it.

Why? For one thing, we don't have a doggy.

He could be telling us to get something.

A whistle, maybe? Sure, one of those little doggy whistles.

The kind that only dogs can hear.

Supersonic.

Makes the kind of sound reproduced by a high tweeter.

High tweeter, high tweeter.

Mr. McCarver was calling for a whistle like this one.

Well, now for the moment of truth.

You can't win them all.

Ding dong bell.

Ding dong bell.

There's a giant step.

Ding dong bell.

Pussy's in the well.

Precisely.

Mr. McCobber with an assist from Officer Whitfield.

And it told us where Grom hid the money.

Ed, I want a list of all the business properties in a three -block area of the

scene of that armored car robbery.

I'll have it for you yesterday.

A bird man.

He's worth two in a bush.

Wrong. This bird is worth $250 ,000.

Good morning, Chief. Morning,

Eve. This hat box came for you this morning. For me, here at headquarters?

Yes, perhaps you have a secret admirer who doesn't know where you live.

We listened to it, didn't take it. It's not a box.

Oh, good grief.

Take it back. It is a box.

Oh, this is ridiculous. It's built to me.

Hello, this is Eve Whitfield. I just received a hat.

No, I didn't order it.

And if I wanted to wear a hat, I certainly wouldn't wear that one, I

Tell them, Tiger. She's not going to pay for it, and they can pick it up at any

time. No, I will not pay for it. And you can pick it up at your convenience.

Yes, that's my final word.

Minority opinion acknowledged. Mr. McCobber thinks you should keep it.

Well, he can have it for a nest, as far as I'm concerned.

I don't know how they come in.

I'm not sure it isn't, Detective.

I shouldn't be all surprised.

Oh, hello, Miss Thompson.

Mark, you've been waiting to work on the engine of the paddy wagon.

It's going to take an hour. Just tell me when it goes wrong.

You've got an hour. One hour.

Good morning, Miss Thompson. Come in. Come in. Please have a chair.

Oh, you're very giving me a start.

He'll do that.

Perhaps we could leave without his comments, Eve.

You're hardly my idea of a medical letter.

Nice of you to say that, Chief Ironside.

Actually, I'm not.

We have doctors who act as consultants for our staff.

I see.

Well, now, I've jotted down a few questions.

Shall we get started?

Just a moment, please.

Eve, I think you'd better go downstairs and review the Carter case.

The Carter case?

That's right. Remember the Carter case?

Yes, of course.

It's a matter of procedure.

Right, Chief?

Now, Miss Thompson, you were probably interested in criminal investigation

the medical client, right?

Exactly.

Now, I can tell this is going to be a very efficient interview.

We hope so, Miss Thompson.

Now, a case that comes to mind in that regard happened a couple of years ago.

The newspapers covered it quite well.

Matter of fact, I can probably save you a great deal of time by breaking out my

files. They're in the next room, if you'll excuse me. Of course.

Just need a moment to locate it.

Sorry.

You'll, uh, find some of my personal notes in there, and perhaps I can add a

personal observations to spice up your story.

Wonderful.

Oh.

This is exactly what I've been looking for.

How perceptive of you to hit it on it immediately.

We try. Feel free to ask.

I'm Dorton. I'm here for Mrs., uh...

Whitefield or something like that. Miss Whitfield, here it is.

Thank you. You're welcome.

All right, Miss Thompson, let's get on with it.

Thank you, sir.

I had no idea you kept such meticulous files.

All I have to do is study them and abstract the material I need for the

There's no need to waste any more of your valuable time, Chief Ironside. But

it's a pleasure, Miss Thompson.

Well, thank you. Thank you again.

I'll call you for another appointment.

Of course.

What are you doing here?

I brought you the file on the Carter case.

Look in the gate.

Why that dirty bird napper?

She didn't take it. The messenger did. I never did trust her. Neither did I.

Well, then why did you send me out to look up a case that's been closed for

years? What was the Carter case?

Well, there was this lady newspaper photographer.

She told this actress that Piketty, I waited in the lobby for her, and I

followed... Hi,

sweetie. I think you're cute, too. But tell us, where is all that beautiful

money? By the queue.

That I dig.

Grom wants to blow the queue scene.

What's with that whistle for the doggie bit?

Whistle for the doggie.

You're a big help, baby.

To you, too, sweetheart.

Oh, and I think how we knocked ourselves out to get that buzzard. Shut up,

Elder. I just want to tell her something.

Listen, I have news for you, honey.

This whole ball of wax is just to put on. Forget it. Let him buy his own

If you don't shut up, Elder.

and I'm coming.

Hi, Arnie. Long time.

How'd you find me?

You're hiding out? I didn't know I was supposed to find you.

I didn't know that Arnie Sims sleeps here in front of the building either.

Oh, your friends can always find you if they really want to.

What made you want to find me?

A little bird.

I don't know what you're talking about, baby.

Come off it, will you, Arnie?

I come here to help you out.

What do you mean, help? I had that bird in my shop for three weeks.

His patter really cut a groove in my brain.

So, uh, how are you going to help me?

You want to find out where Grom's hid that money?

We're partners.

Bring the bird out here.

Some days you can almost make a buck out of that pet shop.

Here's the list of properties.

The ones around the robbery site.

All these places were closed.

Right.

They've been closed since the day of the heist. Yes, sir.

And they're all within ten minutes of the robbery.

Good. Spencer Motel, Delight, Delicatessen, W &W Electric, a pre

A pre.

That means the well in French.

Sure doesn't look like much.

Yeah, it was prettier in Fort Knox.

Cromes and I used to get smashed there plenty of times before they closed it

down.

You'd better get off the street.

See anything?

Hang on to me, McKay.

Drop

it,

Samson. Put up your hand.

You too, McKay.

story now.

Why did you ask me to meet you here?

I thought you'd want to know we caught the man who murdered Mr. Shue.

He did?

Well, that doesn't bring him back, does it?

Perhaps you'd be interested to learn that your favorite pet shop owner was

in on this. He's in jail.

Mr. McKay?

Oh, that's too bad.

Too bad for all the little creatures shut up in these cages. They sure made a

racket. Well, they must be hungry. Oh, yes, look.

And they're thirsty.

Oh,

look at these cages here.

Well, I don't think they've been clean in a week.

As I was saying, too bad the McKay's in jail.

Yes, that's right.

Well, what's going to happen to them?

To whom?

What do all these little creatures have set up in these cages?

I have no idea.

Well, somebody's got to take care of them and feed them and give them water

pet them so that they'll be happy, won't you? But I could do it.

Get a caretaker to stay in Mr. Shute's house.

Well, I think I might get McKay's attorney to make you custodian of the

the time being.

You could?

Ed, give Mr. Carney the key.

Mr. Carney, there's something else you should know.

Mr. Shute remembered you in his will.

Mr.

Carney. Mr.

Shute left you $10 ,000.

It's here.

Now, over $10 ,000, I could buy this shop, couldn't I?

It's your money.

Could I keep Mr. McCarver now?

Of course.

Whistle for the doggie.

Of course, it would be a great blow to my staff.

But we'll make the sacrifice, all right?

Thank you very much.

You have the keys.

See you around, Bert.