Original subtitles

All right, outta sight, go, go, and go!

It is time for the final round of the funny car eliminators...

at the annual Edmonton International Speedway-

I tell you what-in the left lane we've got the nitro-breathin' FastCo Firebird...

driven by Billy 'The Kid' Brooker.

This is Billy's second year as a funny car driver,

but he's young, he's fast and he's brash.

He'll do everything he can...

to keep up with the seasoned veterans of the funny car wars.

In the right lane, number one in the Pacific Northwest right now,

Gary "The Blacksmith" Black!

They're creeping up on the line.

They're pre-stage. They're stage.

They're gone!

All right, we've got our winner!

It's Gary Black, and he smokes through the quarter mile at 218 miles an hour,

and he gets an E.T. of 6.63.

Now, that is smokin', folks!

Billy, better luck next time. I know you're gonna be back.

Get outta here.

You're getting a little too much wheel spin off the line.

Take it easy when you drop the hammer next time, Billy boy.

I thought I'd get that whole shot on him, you know.

He's usually geared up pretty high. Yeah.

- Didn't work out. - You did all right anyway.

Hey, Elder, you're teaching the kid some of Lonnie Johnson's tricks.

All that smoke, man.

Pretty. Just don't win races.

Hey, Gary, give me a few more runs. All right?

Then you'll be suckin' my pipes.

Oh, yeah. Sure.

Been civil chattin' to ya... meathead.

Go ahead.

So you're the girl that's gonna be Miss FastCo, right? Yeah.

My name's Candy.

You must be Lonnie Johnson's mechanic.

No, no, no. I'm Billy the Kid. I drive a funny car.

That fun machine right there.

That one? Yeah, that's the one.

It's beautiful.

Let me guess whether I'm right or not.

You're waiting for the Lonnie Johnson double-A top fuel machine.

And listen, the current standing has Lonnie Johnson...

at number 18,

but I'd say tonight Lonnie Johnson is number one in your hearts!

What do you say, fans?

Hey, man. How's it goin'?

Good, good. You got a car yet, or you still riding a bicycle?

All right, ladies and gentlemen, it is time to get serious now...

at Edmonton International Speedway.

It is the first elimination round of these incredible double-A top fuel machines.

Now in the right lane I want you to welcome, driving the Wheeler Dealer car,

that's Terry Koepp down there!

All right!

Now in the left lane, a man-

You'd better watch that left foot of yours off the line.

You got a lot more horses back there than you ever had before.

Lucky Man”, Lonnie Johnson!

Now, listen, Lonnie's always a crowd pleaser and tonight is no exception,

because tonight the Lucky Man fueler is running for the first time anywhere-

the Lonnie Johnson-designed quadra-vane blower.

For those of you who aren't mechanically inclined,

I'll just say for now that the quadra-vane blower is a brand-new concept in supercharging...

brought to you by the good people at FastCo.

And it is reputed to increase the power of the FastCo power plant...

by 16% over its normal 2,000 horsepower.

Now, that is pumpin'!

Okay. Go, Lonnie.

Oh, my God!

There's been an explosion!

Ladies and gentlemen, there's been an explosion! please stay off the track!

We have to have room for the emergency vehicles and the fire trucks to get down.

I know you'll wanna know what's going on. We'll let you know as soon as we know.

Please stay off the track!

And there he goes!

The man is simply unreal! Man, he just doesn't care!

I was just lucky. Can you believe it, folks?

Let's go, Lonnie. That's why they call Lonnie Johnson the Lucky Man.

I mean, that's a close squeaker for any normal man, but for Lonnie Johnson it's all in a day's work.

Let's hear it for the Lucky Man, Lonnie Johnson!

Get him back up to that tower and get him checked out.

Let's not forget the staff here at Speedway too.

Had it not been for their very fast arrival on the crash scene, it might have been all over.

But thanks to the Speedway staff, they make this sport as safe as it is today.

Let's give 'em a hand!

Jesus.

You wanna get up and catch this other tire, Kid?

Who told you to tack on that damn blower?

I can't afford to win like that! I'm on a budget!

I'm holding you responsible for that crash today.

What?

Who the hell told you to tack on that damn blower anyway?

Look, if you want to win you can't stand still.

Win? I can't afford to win like that.

I'm on a budget. FastCo ain't Gulfand Western.

Now, wait a minute.

You really don't give a damn, do you? You don't want to win!

Right. I don't!

Not if it's gonna bust my budget.

Do I have to tell you again?

Winning is too expensive.

Then what the hell are we in this for?

I'll tell you what we're in it for-

to sell those little red, white and blue cans of FastCo.

Because if we don't I don't eat, you don't eat, nobody eats!

You just keep those cars competitive enough to stay in the limelight...

so those good folks out there can see the FastCo trademark.

You got it?

It's show biz. Yeah, yeah, okay. I got it, Phil.

Yeah, yeah, I got it!

One of those eardrum-shattering fuel dragsters made even more noise than usual last night...

out at Edmonton international Speedway.

Drag racing star Lonnie "Lucky Man Johnson lived up to his name..."

And walked away from a spectacular crash.

Things started to go wrong about halfway down the quarter-mile strip.

The explosion and fire destroyed the FastCo top fuel dragster.

An amazing accident, and even more amazing that Johnson wasn't hurt.

And now let's check in with Marsha and the weather.

Hello. Sammy's.

Sam? It's Lonnie.

Lonnie, where are you? Are you in town?

No, I'm on the road, on my way to Big Sky.

But, week after that I'm gonna be in Spokane...

and I thought maybe we could get together.

What's wrong, Lonnie? What are you talking about?

- Something's wrong. I can hear it. Are you all right? - I'm just fine.

I had a minor accident in the dragster.

What the hell is "minor"?

Well, she didn't blow up when she landed.

That's not funny. Are you calling me from the hospital?

No, I am not calling you from the hospital.

You want me to put Elder on the intercom?

No. No, no. I believe you.

How are- How are things in Seattle?

Business as usual.

It sure would be nice, though, to see you come walking through my door.

Hey, why don't you? You don't have a car to drive for a while.

Oh, I'd love to, babe,

but you know Adamson.

It's promotion time and all that.

Oh, hey, babe, I'm sorry. I gotta get back to work.

Do you promise you'll call me from Big Sky? Yeah.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Sam, I wanna see you soon.

Take care of yourself. Okay? Yeah.

Bye. Bye.

Hi.

God, Lonnie's amazing.

That crash didn't seem to faze him a bit.

Shit, boy, I walked away from 10 times worse.

Did I ever tell you about the time-

What the hell's that?

Shit! Flat tire on the Chaparral.

- You're kidding me. - Oh, Christ!

Guess what I forgot. What?

Goddamn spare tire.

You forgot the spare tire?

Jesus Christ.

Hey!

Look at that!

Howdy, men. Hey, Wes.

How you doin', son?

- Have a flat? - No, thanks. We already got one.

Didn't you hear the joke about America's greatest racing team? Forgot to bring their spare tire?

No! Dig this!

The hot-shit FastCo outfit don't even have a spare!

We got one I think they can use.

I don't think they know how to change it.

Hey, Meatball, why don't you go behind the truck and give yourself a valve job?

- Shit- - Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, Mac, come on! Come on, ladies. Come on.

Settle down. Give me that.

Hey, Elder, is, Lonnie back in the pleasure dome?

Yeah. He's on the fourth floor taking a sauna bath with seven geisha girls.

Right.

Stoner, I think we'd better help these poor guys out?

Okay. Give me a call when you're done.

That's mighty black of ya.

Give me a hand, will ya? Count me out.

What do you hear from the Flintstones?

I gotta get Pacemaker to make me up a rig like this.

Aw, you wouldn't like it. You're too used to vans.

You'd never be able to handle it. Yeah, maybe.

That was a hell of a crash you took there at the Speedway, man.

You're still lucky. I walked away from it, didn't I?

Yeah.

You must have got shaken up, man.

Playing with toy cars.

I saw the crash on TV. It looked great.

How come you always know where the camera is? It's just part of the game, Black.

Yeah, well, I wish you were running funny cars, man,

'cause I'd get my picture in the paper if I beat Mr. Big-time.

You know something, Gary? I think you got your hands full with the Kid.

Brooker? Come on, get serious. He's a punk.

No, he's not.

He's good, and he's coming up fast, and he could be number one.

I can tell. Oh, yeah?

And what do you think about Gary Black?

Come on.

Gary Black.

Well, I think he's doing all right.

But you think that,

this is as far as I can go, don't you?

I didn't say that. You said that.

You didn't have to say it, man.

See ya, Lonnie.

Well, I think that's as good as it's gonna get, Wes. Yeah. Thanks a lot, Stoner.

They're ready to roll. Take it off.

What? What the hell are you talking about? You heard me.

Let his goddamn oil company find him a spare.

Aw, shit, Wes. Sorry, man.

Aw, that's okay, Stoner. We'll manage.

Wonder what the hell went on in there.

I have a vision of Miss FastCo in leather.

Western flavor-Boots, buckskin.

You'd look great.

You'll sell a lot of cans of FastCo.

I don't really know what I'm supposed to do, Phil.

Just stand around and look gorgeous.

Hey, is that the guys down there?

Hey, let's go down and buzz 'em.

Want me to lose my license? That's illegal.

Besides, we don't wanna rub it in.

What do you mean? They crawl, we fly.

Course, that's the way it's supposed to be,

but sometimes the hired help don't like to be reminded.

Yeah? What about me?

Oh, I think you might be special.

You know, there's a nice motel in Helena.

It's got a heated pool, sauna, the works.

Great. Just make sure you book two rooms.

Victor-8-Foxtrot-Victor,

we check you over Scott Bridge at 4y000, leaving south.

Okay, you too can be a drag racer!

Rocket racing is handicap racing, and that means that your wheels can compete.

So don't just watch. Get in on the action and run what ya brung!

Where'd you get that from?

Right now I'm asking you to remember...

that tonight, right after the final top eliminator round,

for those of you who dig boogeyin' and boppin' and finger-poppin',

there's gonna be dancing right out there on the track to the music of the Big Sky Full Tilt Boogie Band!

Now approaching the Christmas tree we have a Pontiac G.T.O. looking hot and dirty in the right lane.

And in the left lane we got a mild Mopar lookin' cool and clean.

There go the lights! There goes the G.T.O.!

Well, folks, you can't win 'em all.

It's been a bad day for Mopars all around.

Let's have a hand for our friend in the Plymouth.

Remember, fans, that could happen to you.

Better luck next time!

All right, it's the Big Sky drag race!

Fabulous, fantastic and terrific!

Don't go away, fans, 'cause there's lots more comin' right at ya!

Mr. Slezak. Nice turnout you got here today.

So-so.

I expected to see you flying in this morning.

I landed at the municipal airport. I got some business in town, so I drove in.

Lady at the gate tried to get me to pay. Sorry.

If I'd known you were comin', I would've told her. No, no, that's okay.

Make 'em pay.

Speaking of paying-

Jesus, Phil, you're killin' me with this routine.

This routine isn't killing you.

Come on, hurry up, hurry up. I got people waiting on me to tell 'em what to do.

You know, I bet FastCo wouldn't be too happy to find out...

its own track rep was on the take.

You're gonna tell 'em?

I ain't tellin' nobody nothin'.

I was just supposin'.

Slezak, look at this as an agent's commission. It'll make you feel better.

The FastCo team and Lonnie Johnson sell tickets at this mosquito patch.

If you don't want us to come- I was only talkin', Phil.

I won't rock the boat.

Good.

'Cause if you rock the boat and it tips over, you'll be the first one to drown.

Take care.

Let's try 70. Can't hurt none.

Lonnie.

Hi, Glen. Phil.

I got a photographer waiting for you in that shack they call the timing tower.

So get something on that says "FastCo." Be nice to him. He's syndicated. Okay?

Okay, Phil.

Look, Glen, I wasn't kidding about that quadra-vane.

You want it, you stick it on there, it's yours. Thanks, man.

Phil.

Man just don't know his own strength.

Yeah, he's a good boy, Lonnie.

That guy really burns my ass.

Hey, Gary, check this out.

It's that asshole Johnson.

Well, you gotta take your rides where you can get 'em.

Gets 'em too easy.

Guy's a joke, man.

Yeah, but he sure does know some nice-lookin' women, don't he?

Well, he does.

All right, all right! It's summer! it's drag racin'!

It's the Big Sky drag race!

And you're watching the very last of our single qualifying funny car runs!

Hi.

Hi, Billy. Miss FastCo?

How do I look? It's terrific.

I looked for you this morning when we got in.

Oh, yeah. My outfit wasn't ready until lunchtime.

And then Phil had me come over in a cab and pose for pictures with Lonnie and stuff.

It was real tight. So you and Adamson getting along okay, are ya?

Yeah, we get along okay. He's pretty smooth.

Oh, yeah.

Well, listen, I gotta-You'll be around? Yeah.

I'm sorry I missed your race.

That's okay. It was only a qualifier.

Great. Can I watch you fix your car till Phil needs me again?

Well, you're Miss FastCo, aren't you? Sure am.

Why don't we just step into my office here and talk.

Sounds serious.

Just a little business.

That's serious.

What's on your mind, Phil?

I got a problem, and you're the only one that can help me.

Well, sure. What is it?

I don't normally bug you with my problems.

You're supposed to drive, I'm supposed to take care of business. That's the way it's supposed to be.

But I think I should let you know that the boys from the front office in Kansas City...

are putting on an awful lot of pressure to drop the fuel dragster completely.

Now, that's my problem.

And I'm gonna go to the wall for you, Lonnie. You're gonna get that car. Believe me.

Great. Hey, look, Phil- Look, I know you'll go to bat for me.

Damn right.

Let's talk about today.

I can't let the Kid drive. It's gotta be you.

What, me in a funny car?

Hey, Phil, look, I drive fuelers. It's what I'm known for. it's what I do best.

Lonnie, we don't have a fueler.

I'm not blaming you for what happened.

It's just that those fans out there came to see Lonnie Johnson drive, not the Kid.

We owe 'em that.

Phil, are you asking me to take that kid's ride from him?

Just for a couple of meets.

Jim Cain at Redline says that in three or four meets the car'll be ready.

I mean, the Kid's gotta pay his dues too.

The bottom line is that he's not Lonnie Johnson. There's nothing I can do about that.

Oh, boy.

That is gonna hurt.

Hey, Phil, look, he's just starting to fly, man. You know that.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you talk to him.

You're both drivers. He respects you- Respects you? He idolizes you.

I mean, if I talked to him it wouldn't be the same thing.

Two meets.

Is that the gasoline?

Well, no. They call these fuel cars 'cause they run on nitro-methane fuel.

Oh.

You want a sip? No.

No, it's not all nitro.

It's about, 80%. Or should be.

About 20% alcohol.

We try and mix it just before we race so it doesn't go sour on us before we start.

Yeah, that'll be okay.

Every driver's got his own special-special mixture...

and, likes to do it himself.

Except for the big-time drivers like Lonnie.

What does he do?

Oh, he lets Elder do it.

Guess they must really trust each other?

Yeah, I guess.

Hi, kids. Hi, Lonnie.

Billy? Yeah?

I gotta talk to you alone. Right now?

Yeah, now.

She's, She's kinda cute, isn't she?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You, You like her?

Yeah, I kinda do. She's different.

You didn't get me up here to ask about Miss FastCo, did ya?

No.

Hey, how about a beer?

Oh, no, thanks. I got some adj-

Billy, have a beer.

Okay. Good.

I just,

just got done talking to Adamson.

Yeah?

Yeah. We got ourselves a little problem.

What?

You're gonna be walking for a while.

Pardon?

I said you're gonna be walking for a while.

What do you mean?

I'm gonna drive the funny.

You don't drive floppers. Yeah, I do today.

It's my car!

Billy, it's just gonna be for a couple of rides till I get the fueler back.

Bullshit! Come on, Billy.

Come on, Lonnie!

You used to be a real racer.

And you used to be good. I used to read about you when I was 12 years old, man.

What do you wanna be, a movie star?

You wanna get your picture in the papers? You wanna sign autographs?

You wanna wave to the crowd? You wanna get laid? Well, you got it.

Billy-

Jesus Christ!

I'm sorry, Kid. You're walking.

I'll have your, I'll have your clutch adjusted in about 20 minutes.

Got about half an hour.

Final round. Gary Black is ready.

FastCo funny car to staging, please.

Five minutes till the final round of the funny car eliminator.

And how 'bout it, race fans?

It looks like we got a first here.

Yes, yes, it looks like Lonnie Lucky Many” Johnson himself...

is gonna drive the FastCo Firebird funny car.

To my knowledge, this is Lonnie's first time ever in a double-A funny car. What a place to start!

Lonnie will be squaring off against someone all funny car enthusiasts know-

one of the toughest competitors in the Pacific Northwest, Gary The Blacksmith” Black.

So don't go away, folks!

This just has to be a ground-pounding track burner!

Remember, it's all happening here at Big Sky Dragways here in Montana,

the Big Sky state!

Bastards tried to burn him down.

Yeah, that engine got pretty damn hot.

Sounds good anyway. It'll be all right. Don't worry about it.

Come on, Billy. Get the lead out!

Speeding with a flaming 221 miles an hour through those tracks! What a bitchin' run!

Not bad for a beginner, boss man.

- Well, how's it feel, Lon? - Lumpy and squirrelly.

Billy, how do you see outta this thing?

We can give you a bigger sunroof if you want.

All right, what's with the last-minute driver switch?

I thought I'd try something slow and casual for a change.

You think I'm racing for trophies, man?

I don't like losing funny car points to a fueler pilot.

Is that why you tried to burn me down?

Yeah, that's right. I take it whatever way I can get it. I have to.

I don't have oil barons paying my way.

Yeah, and you never will have if you keep running that slow.

It just ain't fair.

It just ain't fair. You don't tear a car out from under a guy like that.

Damn right!

I mean, I do all the work. I run all the qualifiers.

Then, bang! I'm out, he's in, and he gets all the goddamn glory.

Aw, look, Billy, We're all in this together.

Oh, listen-it's a team effort.

Only thing you gotta remember is, it's Lonnie's team. Damn right!

You be quiet.

I can get another ride, you know. Wouldn't be no problem for me. Just like that. No problem.

You could. Maybe you ought to.

I told you, be quiet!

You lookee here, Billy.

Lonnie's a pioneer. You know what that means?

Yeah. Yeah.

That means that he was driving while they was still running on gas.

There wasn't no fuelers and funnies in those days.

You could do a hell of a lot worse, you know.

After all, you are running with the Lucky Man.

Yeah, I guess you're right. I don't know. I'm just pissed off.

I still say I could have beaten that Blacksmith.

I think you could have too. Damn right.

Hot damn! Let's pick 'em up!

Hey. Semi's behind us. Give 'im room.

Jesus Christ!

What are you waitin' for? Get the doors open.

All right! Here they come!

Don't like yours much.

Howdy.

You know, love can be a wonderful thing...

when you got two people meeting.

Or three people.

You know something? I fell in love three times today.

Come on, Billy!

No, really. Three times? There's only two of us.

Who's the other girl?

You know something, gang?

There's a lot of junk you can put down your pipes. You know what I mean?

Now, I'm talking about the good stuff.

You gotta take care of your baby's engine.

So I suggest you go like the pros and go with FastCo...

if you want that power, that performance and that protection.

Yeah?

FastCo.

This is what all the pro racers use.

FastCo motor treatment.

All right!

My boyfriend will kill me. He hates FastCo.

Oh, yeah?

What'd you say your name was?

We have your call to Redline, sir. Good. Go ahead, please.

Redline. Jim speaking. Jimmy?

Lonnie Johnson. How you doin'?

Lonnie! Hey, just fine, man. Bitchin'.

Where are you? Oh, I don't know. I'm on the road somewhere, on my way to Spokane.

Hey, I hear you're driving the flopper. What's the world coming to?

Well, it's only temporary,

just till you guys get me on the road again.

That's what I called about, Jim.

Look, I figured out what's the matter with that blower.

The damn thing is just too powerful and it generates too much torque. It started flexing the frame.

So all we gotta do is triangulate the chassis, take the stress off,

and we are home free.

So FastCo's gonna let me go ahead with the dragster?

What do you mean?

Well, you know. They canceled the order a couple days after we talked.

Jimmy, who canceled?

Adamson. I didn't even get the estimate done.

Well, didn't they tell you?

That's absolutely incredible!

Ladies and gentlemen, that's Lonnie Johnson's FastCo funny car back there.

And this is Lonnie Johnson in person!

They'll be down at Spokane Raceway this Saturday and Sunday,

along with an international roster of cars and drivers.

It's all part of the exciting and fast-growing sport of drag racing,

and Lonnie Johnson here is one of the veterans.

Hi, Lonnie! Nice to be here, Chuck.

Lonnie, I've heard that this FastCo funny car of yours does over 200 miles an hour. is that correct?

Well, it'd better, or I'm gonna lose.

And who is this lady standing beside us here this afternoon? That's Candy Allison, Miss FastCo.

Well, good afternoon, Candy Allison, and welcome to Spokane. Thanks, Chuck.

I just wanna say how happy I am to be here.

And here's a FastCo decal for your car!

Well, thank you very kindly.

And I'm sure we'll be seeing you down at Spokane Raceway this weekend.

You sure will, Chuck. And I hope all you nice people will be there too.

And remember, use FastCo motor treatment for trouble-free motoring.

Well, how about that, Lonnie? You guys get paid to say that, don't you?

How about that product? Is it really as good as you say? Do you really use it?

Oh, yeah, Chuck. I use it all the time.

It's the best product I know to keep my toilet unclogged and free-runnin'.

Well, that's Lonnie Johnson for you, ladies and gentlemen.

A great kidder as well as a great driver.

And speaking of driving just for a minute more here, Lonnie,

I've heard in drag racing circles that some people say Lonnie Johnson is a bit more of a showman...

than a serious driver.

Now, how would you reply to a statement like that, Lonnie?

Just like this, Chuck.

And, and remember, folksy every morning a tall, cool glass of FastCo...

is gonna keep you regular and raunchy till way after sundown.

Y'all keep smilin'.

Ladies and gentlemen, Lonnie Johnson along with Candy Allison.

They'll be down at the Spokane Raceway this Saturday and Sunday.

Another segment Of Channel 5's sport profile!

He's been pretty tractable up to now. What's gone wrong?

Between you and me? His career is over, and he can't handle it.

He drinks, he crashes, he alienates other members of the team,

he refuses to drive the funny car.

Blair, we've gotta go with another driver.

I was thinking of Gary Black. Do you know him?

Number one in the Pacific Northwest.

With FastCo behind him we could have a championship.

Okay, Phil. The burden of proof that we've gotta make this move will be on your shoulders.

That's where I like it, Blair. Good.

I'll be seeing you soon. Take care, Blair.

Are we still going out with Chuck Randall?

No, you're going out with Chuck Randall.

I'm, taking care of some paperwork.

I'm not going out with Chuck Randall by myself.

Why not? He likes you. He told me so.

I don't want to.

Look,

I want Randall to redo that interview.

I want you to soften him up. "Soften him up."

That's what I said.

It's public relations.

Those aren't the kind that worry me, Phil.

It's your job.

Screwing Chuck Randall is not part of my job.

- It is if you want to keep it. - Then I don't want to keep it.

Then you're fired.

Then I'm fired.

Hey, Phil, what's happening?

Gary.

How you feel about the meet this weekend?

You think you can take it?

Well, I'll tell you, Phil. I know I can take it.

Damn right.

That just goes to show you you can win and still be a loser.

Screw you, Phil. It's true.

I put some of that shit of yours in my car, and it hasn't run right since.

Serves you right. You should know better.

You mind? Yeah, I mind.

I just wanna talk to your boss for a few minutes alone.

Cool it, Stoner.

All right, Phil, what the hell do you want?

FastCo is interested in your future.

Yeah. What about Johnson?

Well, we're a big company. We have lots of interests.

Johnson's one.

But he's getting old...

and cranky.

We're always looking for new winners.

Right now we're looking for a funny car winner.

Man, I think I would kill for that semi.

That's good to hear, Gary, but you don't have to.

All you have to do is sign a long-term contract with FastCo, and it's yours.

We'll even repaint it for you in your colors in time for the meet this weekend.

You're serious about dumping Johnson?

It's up to you.

Hey, Lonnie.

I'd say he's not here.

And if he's not here, I don't know where he is.

Oh, God.

I think I drunk too much.

I think you did.

I guess you're leaving?

What, are you trying to get rid of me?

Well, you said you quit. You ain't got no job.

Yeah, I did say that.

You wanna-You wanna wait with me for Lonnie?

It could take all night.

I like it when it takes all night.

What?

You know what I mean?

I think I do. I think you do.

I'm so glad you decided to invite me up.

What the hell is going on? Billy!

Lonnie!

Oh, Billy! I didn't know you were comin'.

Oh! Here I thought I'd interrupted something.

No, no. Oh!

I came by looking for Lonnie last night, and he wasn't here.

And, we just kind of fell into bed.

Yeah. Oh, this is Candy. Hi.

Hi. Sammy.

No comment.

Lonnie!

Oh! Oh, babe!

It took you long enough to get here, didn't it? Oh, Lonnie, listen.

You got heavy problems.

Candy overheard a conversation with Adamson in Kansas City about dropping the team.

We'll-Why don't we worry about that later?

No, I think we should worry about it now. Billy!

All right.

Look, Lonnie-You out.

All right.

You in.

Good morning, and welcome to Spokane Raceway here in Spokane, Washington.

We're all set today with a full slate of racing,

including those fantastic space-heating machines,

the super-charged, nitro-burning funny car.

"Look for Gary ' The Blacksmith" Black,

known throughout the Pacific Northwest, in the hot Pacemaker Vega...

to be running Lonnie Lucky Man” Johnson in the funny car eliminator.

Okay, racers, let's get those cars out of the pits.

We need Pro Eliminator to lane number one,

Heavy Eliminator to lane number two.

You know, it's criminal to keep a lover like you on the road for so long.

Well, maybe your troubles are over.

I don't need that. I'm a big girl now, Lonnie.

Hey, I knew what I was getting into. Maybe just not for how long.

No. I mean it, babe. I-

I really think I wanna quit.

You know, if it's really that important to 'em-

Adamson and Gary Black and the Kid- well, let 'em have it.

'Cause what do I need it for?

You know, I used to drag on the river road for-for Coca-Colas,

and I thought I never wanted to quit.

Hey.

If all it took to get you to come home was a little good lovin'...

why didn't you call me a hell of a lot sooner?

Maybe I should've.

Lonnie, I wanna talk to you.

Privately.

This is the second time in two weeks you walk in here without knocking.

This is where I live. It's my home.

Yeah? Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't. That's what I came to talk to you about.

- Yeah, well, I would like to talk to you first. - I'm not interested.

I wanna talk to you about hurting people.

You know, you're out of your goddamn mind, Johnson.

You're out of your mind, and you're over the hill.

First you turn my trailer into a goddamn whorehouse.

Now it's an insane asylum.

Oh, baby, you're finished. You got it?

Finished. Adamson, take a look around you.

There's all of us, and then there's you.

Now, we're gonna run that car, and you ain't gonna stop us.

You're all finished.

Gee.

Lonnie must've done something to get him mad.

Meatball, I'd like to talk to you for a minute.

Hey, Meaty you ain't going no place till you're finished with that oil pan.

I'm done, Stoner.

Got a little job for you.

All right, now, we're all set to go with the funny car action.

Gary Black is suiting up in the spectator lane,

while over on the tower side, it's the Lucky Man, Lonnie Johnson.

Okay, the drivers are getting in their cars.

The pit crew's making last-minute adjustments...

to these incredibly powerful machines.

The starters are hooked on. The drivers are buckled in, secured.

They get tossed around pretty good out there.

Tough, tough job. Tough.

Look for Gary 'The Blacksmith' Black in the spectator lane,

running Lonnie ' Lucky Many' Johnson in the funny car eliminator.

Oh! Lonnie Johnson goes through the trap!

Let's go! Let's go!

But he punches his fire buttons and knocks the flame down.

He's all right. His on board fire extinguishers have done their job, and the fire is out.

Lonnie Johnson is perfectly okay. He's all right.

He even managed a respectable E.T. of 7.26...

at 164 miles an hour.

Not bad for a man fighting a fire in his seat.

But not good enough to beat Gary Black,

who has avenged his loss to the Lucky Man at Big Sky last week...

taking this one with an E.T. of6.62.

Lonnie, you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.

That engine blow up on you? I don't know.

She was strong until I shut it down.

Somebody got to us, right?

What's he talking about, Lonnie? I don't know.

Hey, what happened to Johnson?

- He caught fire. - Let's go check it out, man.

- Let him fry. - Hey, man, cool it.

Geez, Meat.

Aw, shit.

Lift it up.

Hey, what the hell happened?

That's beautiful.

We got stiffed. That's what happened.

- You watch your ass, you little suck. - Back off Meatball.

Hey.

Gary.

Hey, Johnson, I don't have to kill you to beat you.

I know you don't.

Come on, Kid.

Goddamn valve cover gasket's missing, Lon.

Okay, load her up.

You're fired.

Hey, what the hell are you doing, you son of a-

Lon.

What are you waiting for?

Come on, big man. Come on now.

How you doing, Lonnie?

Hey, Elder thinks he can get me a job with Domestic Auto parts.

Oh, no, Billy.

It's all right. The money's decent.

Besides, I think I can drive locally on the weekends. Some guy's got double-Bys here.

Wouldn't you rather go racing with me at Edmonton next week?

Shit, yeah. But we ain't got no car.

We got a car. It's just been stolen. All we have to do is find it.

The competition's tough out there. Cars are all good. Drivers are all good.

You need an edge, something that will put you over the top.

Now, I got the best power plant on the circuit.

And with the kind of performance that FastCo gives me, nobody can touch me.

We won the Funny Car Nationals on Sunday with this machine here.

Yeah, we're staying at the Sandman inn, Room 237.

I don't know why Lonnie wanted us to come down here for.

We should be out looking for the car.

Look, somebody knows where that car is, and that somebody's gonna be here for sure.

Shit, look at this. Come here. Can you believe this? it's right here.

Hi, fellas.

Hey, Meatball. Looking pretty cute?

Don't worry. Don't worry.

Well, I wish there was something I could do to help, Lonnie.

There is. You can get me another beer.

- We found our funny car. - What? Where?

Adamson's got it on display at the car show, right out in the open.

- Is it hurt? They butcher it? - No, it looks fine.

I'll tell you what. He's got more balls than brains. No shit.

Make us sick to see it. It's all roped off and propped up.

Well...

let's go get her.

Go get her? What are you gonna do, walk in there and stuff it in your pocket?

It's a car, isn't it?

I'm gonna drive that sucker out.

Eighteen, this is Central. Check in.

Did he see us?

- Yeah. He's coming over. - Okay, come on.

Okay, hit it.

Okay, let's lift it.

Get it up.

Up you go, Lon. That's it.

Hey, guys. Terrific.

Food!

Do you, Do you ever think about when we was on the road together?

Yeah. I think about it.

Did you ever,

Did you ever think about doing it again?

No.

No, I didn't, Lonnie.

How about you?

You wanna spend the next 10 years of your life on the circuit?

Well, only when I'm driving, But,

you know, I got my people to take care of.

Yeah, I know all about that.

Hey. You're gonna build a new fueler?

Yeah. You bet.

Where are you gonna get the money?

Hey, look, I wasn't too bad at hustling rides before FastCo.

I'm not ashamed to do it again.

Just so long as it's my own ride...

and my own way.

Well, if you ever do decide to set up a shop,

something like Lonnie Johnson Racing Engines”...

Hey, Seattle's not a bad spot.

My neighborhood ain't exactly in a bad part of town.

Sam, if I ever do.

If I ever do.

All right, this is it, the one you've been waiting for.

The FastCo Funny Car Challenge of the Champions.

Let's take a look, see who we got down there now. Hey, it's gonna be a scorcher.

We've got the brand-new FastCo Vega funny car...

driven by one of the funny car warriors of a way back.

I'm talking about Gary "The Blacksmith" Black.

We've got him here right today with us now.

As a matter of fact, we've even got a man here today that nobody expected to see.

It's a man that everybody knows...

even though he's one of the newest funny car pilots on the circuit today,

a man whose entry crossed my desk just a few hours ago.

You know who I'm talking about. The Lucky Man is here. Lonnie Johnson will be here.

He'll be driving the ex-FastCo double-A fuel funny car as an independent today...

for the very first time,

I knew you'd like that one.

Now this is a very interesting development.

As a matter of fact, I'd feel safe in calling this a grudge match for top eliminator

in the next and final round of funny car flying.

It's gonna be Gary Black versus Lonnie "Lucky Man" Johnson.

Elder.

We're still a tenth of a second off our best time with that quadra-valve. Yeah, I know that, Lonnie.

What are we doing about it? What's the read, Billy boy?

Hold on a second.

Eighty-two.

Bump it up to 88 or 89 and throw in a label.

Think you can handle that, big man?

I don't know. Why don't you ask the Kid?

He's driving.

- You still got a fire sunt? - Oh, yeah. Sure.

Yeah sure. You heard the man.

Well?

I had a feeling. Got it covered, man.

I'm gonna put him on the trailer in front of 20,000 people.

I want that son of a bitch. No.

You don't want a fuss in front of the cameras.

Don't sweat it, Phil.

Johnson's gonna be staring at my wheelie bars all the way down the stripe.

Semi-final time was. 3 better than yours, Gary.

Yeah, well, I didn't have it dialed in yet.

I'll tell you, I'm gonna blow his doors right off, man.

Meatball, what do you got?

Got something real nice for you, Mr. Adamson.

I'm working on it.

All you got to do is make sure Gary is in the left lane and he can't lose.

- What's that gonna accomplish? - Don't worry about it.

It's got real class. Just leave it to Meatball.

What the hell are you talking about?

I don't know what's going on here, man, but I don't like it.

You just drive, Gary, That's what you're good at.

All right, teens, queens, guys and bluejeans, Are you ready? This is it!

The one you've been waiting for. The final two nitro fifties are paired off.

And we're ready for the final round.

Of the FastCo Funny Car Challenge of the Champions.

Let's see who we've got down at the starting line. It is going to be a scorcher.

We've got the new FastCo Vega Funny car driven by Gary "The Blacksmith" Black,

going up against the former FastCo Firebird funny car.

Hi, Gary. Howdy.

How are we doing? Real good.

Who's gonna call it? I guess that's us.

Call it.

Heads. Heads.

It's heads: Your choice. All right.

- Left lane. - Good luck, guys.

We seem to have an apparent malfunction

of our time equipment up here in the tower.

There seems to be a little confusion down there on the track

as to which cars got which lanes.

Billy. Right lane.

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? What's this?

Hey, man, we screwed up. There wasn't supposed to be a toss.

FastCo rules are the slow car gets the lane choice.

No way, man! No way! You can't do this! What are you trying-

All right, all right, all right. Okay, okay.

Come on, I got you, come on.

You get in there and you drive.

Billy!

And a last-minute lane switch like this could make the drivers a little uneasy.

But I think they've got it all sorted out. I think they're ready to go.

All right, get this, Billy Brooker will be running in the tower lane,

and Gary "The Blacksmith" Black will be in the left lane.

Where the hell's Meatball?

Forget about it.

Forget about it?

Yeah. God.

All right, they seem to be ready to go.

Engines are fired up. The fiberglass bodies are lowered over the drivers.

Whee! Did you see that side-by-side flame burnout?

After all, that's what it's all about. Right, men?

Billy!

Just hang on! Everybody, stay where you are. Please do not move.

Do not go out on the track.

We have to get our fire truck there and the emergency vehicles.

Please remain in your seats. Do not move!

Oh, Billy.

Please stay off the track, ladies and gentlemen.

There's nothing you can do on the track. You must go back to your seats.

Let the firemen control the situation.

Go back. There's nothing you can do.

Everything is all right. But it hasn't passed yet.

Therefore, you must go back to your seats.

Please, ladies and gentlemen, stay off the track.

You must go back to your seats.

Fire it up, Elder! Fire it up!

- Come on, Elder. - All right.

Get it down.

Come on.

Lonnie!

What are you gonna do?

I guess we got a week or two off.

I guess we do. I guess we do.

What you gonna do now, big man?

Well, me and the old lady are gonna spend some time together.

Gonna hang up the goggles? Finally got him to quit, did you?

Yeah. For at least a whole week.

Hi, Elder. Hey, Billy boy.

Can you drop us by the bus depot? We got to catch a bus to Frisco.

Apparently, her girlfriend's really into hot cars...

and digs tall mechanics with big wrenches, man.

Oh, yeah? Well, maybe I could go-

No. Elder and me are going down to Redline in Tacoma.

We got to start working on the new frame jigs for a couple of quadra-vane-powered cars.

Yeah, Lonnie's gonna bring a big bag full of money from Seattle, we hope.

So if you want that skinny ass of yours to fit into that new funny car we're building, you better be there.

I'll be there. Right.

- Might as well hit the road. - Let's do it.

See you at Redline? Yeah.

Good luck.

You drive safely. We will.

Take care of yourself.

Get the engine going. Let's go.