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Wipe your feet.
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Close the door.
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What's all the excitement?
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You don't have your radio on. Who's your
radio?
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00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:57,250
No, that's a humidor that looks like the
radio.
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00:00:58,250 --> 00:00:59,430
Football is the radio.
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I forgot it for being an usher at Dick
Butkuth's wedding.
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He'll be back in a minute.
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Oscar's got his own radio show.
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Yeah. You know, I was cruising around my
police car. You know, nothing to do. So
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I thought I'd listen to some police
calls for a while. But they're boring.
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So I changed stations.
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There was Oscar, his own show.
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That's a talented guy.
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But why didn't he tell me?
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Gee, I could have gone down there. I'd
have cleaned off his desk. I'd have
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00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:39,800
off the mic.
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I've told him exactly what to do every
single second he was on the air. I'd
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never have left his side. Why didn't he
tell me?
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00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:49,000
Are you hurt, Felix?
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No.
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00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,850
The Odd Couple was filmed in front of a
live audience.
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00:03:29,050 --> 00:03:32,050
Oh, Belter's running time. Could I use
one?
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00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:33,630
Where's mine?
25
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:36,770
In a pulled -up pan in the icebox, I'm
sure.
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00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:39,970
Uh -huh.
27
00:03:40,870 --> 00:03:41,870
Rough day?
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00:03:42,010 --> 00:03:44,510
Okay, like any other day, just a regular
day.
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What did you do this regular day?
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00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:50,710
I covered the Yankee game. I wrote my
column. Did your radio show? Did my
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show. Oh, boy. No wonder we're having
cocktails for one.
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00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:57,110
Well, I was hoping I could keep it from
you for more than one day. Why do you
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want to keep it from me?
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00:03:58,290 --> 00:04:01,230
The whole city listening in. I'm sitting
here with a football on.
35
00:04:04,279 --> 00:04:08,480
Because you're a Budinsky, and this is a
very important opportunity for me. I
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00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,300
would love to have a radio show of my
own.
37
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,980
They're trying all new formats down
there. The Pillow's two hours.
38
00:04:14,180 --> 00:04:17,899
They tried political discussions and
gardening. Now they're trying a sports
39
00:04:17,899 --> 00:04:20,440
show. I know you'd want to butt in, even
though you don't know anything about
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00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,650
sports. But I know everything about
radio. You do? Of course. Of course I
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00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,290
Radio's in my blood, mister.
42
00:04:25,570 --> 00:04:28,370
In college, I managed the radio station
for three years.
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I did everything. I was on the air. I
was the newscaster. I was the disc
44
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I wrote the shows.
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The whole campus listened to the big F.
46
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The big F?
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That's me. Turn your dial for a while to
the voice with the smile.
48
00:04:41,710 --> 00:04:44,250
F -E -L -I -X. Mark the spot.
49
00:04:44,610 --> 00:04:46,570
1290 on your radio dot.
50
00:04:47,390 --> 00:04:48,590
And dot's a lot.
51
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,540
That's college humor. Yeah, but college
humor, that's amateur.
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00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:56,480
This is the big time. I was
professional. When I was a kid, I was on
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Pretend. I played all kinds of parts. I
was a frog once.
54
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,080
Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit.
55
00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:03,380
I'm in the actor's union.
56
00:05:03,620 --> 00:05:04,920
Want to see a union card?
57
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:09,520
You were a member of the radio's actor's
union? I still am.
58
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,960
Paid my dues for 20 years waiting for
radio to come back.
59
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,360
Well, when it comes back, you don't tell
me about it.
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00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,880
See, that's another reason I didn't tell
you. Peter, you've got to understand,
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this is not your big moment. It is my
big moment.
62
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,900
Now, I don't want to talk about my radio
show anymore.
63
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:25,460
Just give me my dinner.
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00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:29,460
When I finish my martini.
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00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,360
Oh, wait.
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00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:39,480
And you heard the show, huh?
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00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:42,040
I thought you didn't want to talk about
it.
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00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,300
I know.
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00:05:47,219 --> 00:05:48,219
Would you like it?
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00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:52,560
There's only one thing wrong with your
radio show. What's that?
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00:05:52,860 --> 00:05:54,180
You don't have any personality.
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00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,640
Look who's an authority.
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Oh, that's a lot.
74
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:06,540
What do you mean? What's wrong?
75
00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,100
You have to have a distinctive style for
radio.
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00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,960
You have to use your natural guest on
the air.
77
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,330
Yeah, but you can't see sloppiness on
the radio.
78
00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:19,050
There are other aspects of your
personality that you could use on the
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00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:21,410
hostility, sarcasm.
80
00:06:21,770 --> 00:06:24,390
You're very good at that. Those are your
strong points. I'm not kidding.
81
00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:29,310
Nothing succeeds in boosting the ratings
like a touch of venom, and that's right
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00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:31,070
up your alley. You're the best in the
world at that.
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00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:33,590
I get the feeling I'm being insulted.
No, no, no, no.
84
00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:38,170
I'm not kidding. I mean it. Instead of
saying, very nice of you to call, sir,
85
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:40,870
you should say, get off the air, you
stupid creep.
86
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:45,300
That's you. That's hostility. That's
self. People love it. Look at Howard
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00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:48,300
Cosell. You don't tell me people love to
be called stupid creeps. We didn't,
88
00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:51,960
certainly. Yes, but the main thing is,
you weren't real, Oscar. You weren't
89
00:06:52,140 --> 00:06:55,720
You know, you got a couple of people.
They asked some very stupid questions. I
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00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,280
wouldn't let them have it. Why didn't
you let them have it? Get in there.
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00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:00,300
them. I think you're right. Of course
I'm right.
92
00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:03,520
I wasn't very successful at that. I
didn't get many cold calls at that.
93
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:07,160
I'm going to write down some hostile
notes right now. And you said I couldn't
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00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,160
help you.
95
00:07:14,380 --> 00:07:15,500
Well, my pencils are broken.
96
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Marie did it.
97
00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:26,420
Hello?
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Hello. I'm looking for Oscar Madison.
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Oh, he'll be back in a minute. Can I
help? I'm Tina, Mr. Madison's secretary.
100
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,180
Tina? Where's Myrna?
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On vacation.
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00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:36,540
Ah.
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I'm sure to get the act right.
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Ah, you must be Mr.
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Unger. Oscar told you about me, huh?
Yeah.
106
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:46,220
Want to tell you a lot of neat Greek
jokes? Yeah.
107
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,740
Told you I polish my shoe trees? Yeah.
108
00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:54,600
Did I use the water pick on my toes?
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No.
110
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,420
Hello, everybody. This is the Big App.
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00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:23,140
Felix Unger broadcasting to you from
high atop the library building. And now
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00:08:23,140 --> 00:08:25,120
news as the time will allow. Berlin,
Germany.
113
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,560
Today, Adolf Hitler announced his
intention of invading Poland.
114
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,020
I love to invade, he said, when
questioned by this reporter.
115
00:08:32,919 --> 00:08:34,580
And now the weather report for Mexico.
116
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,260
Chilly today and hot tamale.
117
00:08:39,039 --> 00:08:41,760
And now... Who are you?
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00:08:42,580 --> 00:08:45,160
I'm Felix Unger. I'm a personal friend
of Oscar Madison.
119
00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:49,370
Well, I'm Jim Antrobus. I'm the station
manager. Now, don't fool with that gear.
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00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:52,730
Okay. You never can tell when a mic is
live. Oh, I can always tell a hot mic
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00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:53,730
when I see one.
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00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:57,590
So you're in charge here, huh? You're
the man who decides who goes on and who
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00:08:57,590 --> 00:08:58,489
goes off?
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00:08:58,490 --> 00:09:00,510
Yeah. Me and the listeners.
125
00:09:00,770 --> 00:09:01,309
Uh -huh.
126
00:09:01,310 --> 00:09:02,770
See all those little buttons there?
127
00:09:02,990 --> 00:09:04,370
Don't touch it.
128
00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:09,910
If a program is popular, they light up
like a Christmas tree. It's a sign that
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00:09:09,910 --> 00:09:13,470
people are trying to get through on the
phone. Uh -huh. If no lights blink, no
130
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,570
Christmas. And no Christmas bonus, huh?
131
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,810
Hi. Hi, Jim.
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00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:23,090
Good luck on your show today, Oscar.
133
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:25,890
I'll be listening in my office.
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00:09:26,390 --> 00:09:27,490
What are you doing here?
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00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:30,490
Came down to help you. You want to help
me go sit in the corner somewhere? I'll
136
00:09:30,490 --> 00:09:31,490
be on the air in a few seconds.
137
00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:33,830
Just remember one thing.
138
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:35,670
Be me.
139
00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:37,350
Be hot. Be yourself.
140
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:38,610
Okay, okay.
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00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:39,790
Ready, Oscar?
142
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:40,870
Where's your announcer?
143
00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:41,930
What announcer?
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00:09:42,010 --> 00:09:44,950
To tell the people who you are, what
you're going to do in the new format. I
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00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:47,810
don't know, Phoenix. I'm not Ted using
you. We're on the air, Oscar. Go.
146
00:09:48,310 --> 00:09:49,810
Hi there, sports fans.
147
00:09:51,030 --> 00:09:54,710
Don't be down. The man with the frown is
coming around to drag you down to the
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00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:57,250
ground. And here he is, Mr.
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00:09:57,570 --> 00:09:59,730
Venom, Oscar Bad Madison.
150
00:10:01,430 --> 00:10:03,850
Welcome to the Oscar Madison Sports Talk
Show.
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00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:07,130
There's going to be a lot of talk
tonight. Some of it you'll like and some
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00:10:07,130 --> 00:10:10,410
you won't. Well, either way, why don't
you call 555...
153
00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:14,510
6181. Let me know how you feel and let
us get to the first phone call right
154
00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:16,470
Hello? Yes, ma 'am.
155
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:18,090
What's on your mind, dummy?
156
00:10:20,830 --> 00:10:23,330
Oh, listen to this, hockey puck gang.
157
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:44,300
driver that did this to me because of
what I said about the mess. He's a fan.
158
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,840
Yeah, and the bartender recognized my
voice and threw the beer in my face.
159
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:48,699
Another fan?
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00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:49,700
You're darn right.
161
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,100
The only time you need worry is when
they stop throwing beer in your face.
162
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:55,720
Hello?
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00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,000
Yeah, it's us. Come on.
164
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:58,380
Oh,
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00:10:58,500 --> 00:10:59,500
calm down, will you?
166
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,160
Look at this. Another one. Wait. Whoa.
167
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:02,620
What? Yeah.
168
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:06,420
Yes. Yes. I said water polo is a dumb
sport. That's right.
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00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:08,160
Yes, I can swim.
170
00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:11,380
Swim up what?
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00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,020
Goodbye.
172
00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:15,280
They love you.
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00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:18,040
They hate me. No, they love to hate you.
174
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,440
Look, I never promised you that they
would love you. I promised you they'd
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00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,700
listen to you. Yeah, they listen to me.
Both fits the clench. What's the matter
176
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:30,240
with you? I don't know. I don't think
they want to take it down there. No,
177
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:31,340
Yes, sir.
178
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,080
Yeah. Bye -bye.
179
00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:46,160
Huh? Another fan, huh? No, that was
Antrobus from the radio station. We have
180
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,160
cut out the hostility.
181
00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:51,160
What? He says people aren't listening to
their radios anymore. They're breaking
182
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,320
them. He's getting hate mail from
Quakers.
183
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,560
We'll cut out the hostility.
184
00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:58,800
There's no problem. You adjust. They
don't want hostility. You give them Mr.
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00:11:58,960 --> 00:11:59,579
Nice Guy.
186
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:03,060
You said they like Howard Cassell. They
don't like Nice Guy. Nice, nice, as
187
00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:06,780
always. It's nice. It's another aspect
of your personality. You with that
188
00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:11,000
wonderful charm, that radness and charm,
that million -dollar smile. Oh, come
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00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,620
on. You can't see a smile on radio.
190
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:16,200
Oh, sure you can. Let's see the smile
there. Yeah, that's nice.
191
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,900
A little bit of sandwich in the tooth
there.
192
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,440
See?
193
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:26,720
The face with a smile is the voice with
a smile. You better get out of here
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00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:27,940
before I break both your legs.
195
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:35,020
You're at the radio station. You're
getting a phone call. You respond with
196
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:38,560
with Mr. Nice. Go ahead. Pick up the
phone. The phone call's coming in.
197
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:39,760
No. Hello.
198
00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:42,300
Hello. Nice. We go, hello. Hello.
199
00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:43,620
Hello.
200
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,180
Hello,
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00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,420
you stupid creep.
202
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:48,620
Why don't you get off the air?
203
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,520
Charm. Be nice.
204
00:12:52,140 --> 00:12:55,260
I'm very glad you called, sir. I'm
interested in your opinion. I'm not
205
00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:58,280
interested. I can't talk to somebody
like that. Somebody talks to me angrily.
206
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:03,260
Nobody can do it. Of course not. It's
nothing to do with it. Why, you do it.
207
00:13:03,340 --> 00:13:06,280
Easy. I recall my early training. All
right, let me see you do it. All right.
208
00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:07,440
Nothing to it. Hello?
209
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:09,740
Hello? Is this Dr. Madison?
210
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,040
Yes, this is he.
211
00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:13,060
Listen, you big mouth creep.
212
00:13:13,420 --> 00:13:15,380
You don't know nothing about nothing.
213
00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:18,140
Why don't you stop polluting the air and
get off it?
214
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,520
Why, you ugly little ignoramus.
215
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,060
the nice and sweet with the little.
Nobody talks to me that way.
216
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,920
Feel better? You talked about it? What's
there to talk about?
217
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,920
For two days, I've been Mr. Nice Guy at
the station. I haven't gotten one phone
218
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:41,920
call yet. I didn't get one.
219
00:13:42,140 --> 00:13:44,100
The guy wanted to tell me Mambo lessons.
220
00:13:46,140 --> 00:13:52,370
Oscar, what would you say if I told you
that I figured out a way to make the
221
00:13:52,370 --> 00:13:55,590
Oscar Madison show the talk of New York.
I'm going to tell you something. Listen
222
00:13:55,590 --> 00:13:58,610
carefully. There are two things in this
world I don't need right now.
223
00:13:59,110 --> 00:14:00,470
That's you and a fungus.
224
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,510
Even fungus begins with fun.
225
00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:12,910
You make me laugh.
226
00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:15,450
Gang, come on.
227
00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:17,210
Good morning, Mr. Madison.
228
00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:18,530
Good morning, Oscar.
229
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,380
You want an audience to watch me eat?
230
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,160
Bear with me, Oscar.
231
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:30,920
Believe me, what your show needs is to
return to those thrilling days of
232
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,960
yesteryear when out of the past came the
thundering hoofbeats of real live
233
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:34,960
radio.
234
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,200
You ready, Cass?
235
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:38,420
Ready.
236
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,360
We're on the air.
237
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:44,320
Come on, Jimmy.
238
00:14:44,830 --> 00:14:48,270
We've got to get to the secret
headquarters of the mysterious Dr. Zwab
239
00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:50,830
midnight, or the entire world will
explode.
240
00:14:51,270 --> 00:14:56,030
Yes, fellas and gals, it's time once
again for America's great crusader, the
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00:14:56,030 --> 00:14:57,290
adventuring ranger!
242
00:14:57,610 --> 00:14:58,830
Ranger! Ranger!
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00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:01,270
I don't believe it.
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00:15:01,910 --> 00:15:03,570
I wrote this in college.
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00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:07,210
And now, back to the adventuring ranger!
246
00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:08,810
Ranger! Ranger!
247
00:15:10,130 --> 00:15:12,910
Let's join the adventuring ranger and
his young cohort, Jimmy.
248
00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:17,130
as they make their way through the dense
jungle underbrush towards the castle of
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00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:18,130
the mysterious Dr.
250
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:20,050
Zwob. The ranger speaks.
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00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:22,690
Just follow along behind, Jimmy.
252
00:15:22,910 --> 00:15:29,530
I'll just put my foot in your cupped
hands here and lift myself onto the
253
00:15:29,710 --> 00:15:33,170
Jump up here and grab the top of the
wolf.
254
00:15:34,930 --> 00:15:36,970
I'll stop at the end of that attack.
255
00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:42,030
I get it with all those grunts going on.
You don't like the adventuring ranger?
256
00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:43,210
Ranger!
257
00:15:47,910 --> 00:15:50,050
I'll be outside with him in just a
minute.
258
00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:55,010
Oscar, this is real radio.
259
00:15:55,470 --> 00:15:58,030
Felix, that is hardcore nonsense.
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00:15:59,010 --> 00:16:03,570
I'm doing a sports talk show, not a
kiddie matinee from the 40s.
261
00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:23,330
Wait.
262
00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:27,110
Better. Better, better, better. What's
better? What's better? We won't do the
263
00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:30,890
adventuring rage. Look how he listens
finally to a man who's been aggravated
264
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:35,570
death. I'll write authentic, factual
stories of great moments in sports.
265
00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:37,030
But you don't know anything about
sports.
266
00:16:37,390 --> 00:16:38,390
I'll make them up.
267
00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:47,450
I know what you're doing. Felix. Is that
all your music, Mark? Felix?
268
00:16:47,830 --> 00:16:51,460
Yes, sir. I just read your script. I
mean, this isn't the story about Babe
269
00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:54,400
and the kid. The names are wrong. The
places are wrong. It's not the way it
270
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,700
happened. But it's better than the way
it happened. This is dramatization based
271
00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:58,700
on rumor.
272
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:02,900
This script is going out over the air?
273
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,260
Well, it's a new concept.
274
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,040
New concept? This is what killed radio.
275
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,440
We're going to light up your
switchboard.
276
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,440
This is going to make you the hero of
broadcasting. Who are these people?
277
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,020
This is my cast.
278
00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:17,280
Well, I hope they're members of the
union. If they're not, they can't
279
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,220
What kind of bilge water are you
pumping, mister?
280
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:24,220
Don't worry, kids. He can't do anything
to us. I'm sorry. It's union rule.
281
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:25,579
Union? You say union?
282
00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:27,040
You want to see a union card?
283
00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:29,380
I'll show you a union card. What does
that look like?
284
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,460
That is a union card. You're darn right.
285
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:33,660
All right. You're all right. But these
two will have to go.
286
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:34,960
Sorry, kid.
287
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,640
Radio. Showbiz. Better luck next time.
You see how smart I was to pay my dues?
288
00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:43,540
Felix, this was written for four people.
So what's the difference? This is
289
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:44,540
radio. We'll double.
290
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,360
That's radio. That's the beauty part.
291
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,360
Okay, everybody set? Cast? We're the
cast.
292
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:50,620
Right. Sound effect.
293
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,360
Music. Okay.
294
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:55,919
What's that?
295
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:56,799
What's what?
296
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:57,800
That weed.
297
00:17:58,580 --> 00:18:00,340
Oh, nothing. It's a smoker's call.
298
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,580
Well, Mr. Bill, what's that?
299
00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:05,840
Are you going to be all right? I'll put
it out. I'll be all right. Okay, sure.
300
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:12,860
Okay, let's go. Get him out of here.
Would you mind waiting outside until
301
00:18:12,860 --> 00:18:15,020
is over, sir? Do I get paid? Yes, you'll
be paid double.
302
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:20,170
You know what to do. You watch the sound
effects. You'll do the thing. But I'm
303
00:18:20,170 --> 00:18:20,929
the narrator.
304
00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:25,230
It's a small part. You'll do it. I
noticed that. All right, Sega. All
305
00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:26,350
everybody, cup your ears.
306
00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:50,660
Madison show, Great Moment in Sport.
307
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,240
Felix Unger, your host.
308
00:18:56,140 --> 00:19:00,320
Right now, the star of our show, the
Dean of America Sportswriters, Oscar
309
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,620
Madison, your host, is Felix Unger.
310
00:19:05,260 --> 00:19:08,740
Thank you. Let's get right to our story,
the year 1932.
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00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:11,500
Extra, extra, President Roosevelt,
elected president.
312
00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:13,180
To play Chicago.
313
00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:17,720
The Windy City.
314
00:19:18,470 --> 00:19:21,630
Babe Ruth, then playing for the Yankees,
was looking forward to that afternoon's
315
00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:25,430
World Series game with the Cubs. The
morning of the game, as was his want, he
316
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:27,570
visited the Children's Ward of Mercy
Hospital.
317
00:19:31,630 --> 00:19:33,530
Dr. Chern, call surgery.
318
00:19:33,910 --> 00:19:35,850
Dr. Chern, call surgery.
319
00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:39,850
And now, the Babe Feet.
320
00:19:41,790 --> 00:19:46,810
Gee, nurse, it sure is swell to see all
those poor kids in the hospital looking
321
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:47,810
so perky.
322
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,540
It's you that makes them feel perky,
baby Ruth.
323
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,060
You're a peachy guy.
324
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:58,420
Oh, you're a grand girl to say that. I'm
just glad the good Lord allows me to be
325
00:19:58,420 --> 00:20:01,380
here. Ah, look, here comes the doctor.
326
00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:06,740
Hello, doctor.
327
00:20:07,860 --> 00:20:08,860
Hey, hello.
328
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,740
I think I'll stop walking now.
329
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:18,380
I caught you before you went out to
Wrigley Field, Bambino.
330
00:20:18,620 --> 00:20:20,580
Oh, something I could do for you,
Doctor?
331
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:25,740
There is just one child who hasn't seen
you, and it'll break his little heart if
332
00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:30,880
we don't stop by. Oh, sure is shooting.
Always time for a kid in trouble.
333
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,760
Right this way, immortal babe.
334
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,400
And so, fate played a hand that
afternoon in Chicago.
335
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:47,040
As they approached the bedside, a poor
little Billy, who was ill with a rare
336
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:51,100
tropical disease for which there was no
cure, he was sobbing quietly.
337
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,060
The nurse spoke softly.
338
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:58,380
The child stopped crying when the nurse
spoke softly.
339
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:00,640
Little Billy? Yes?
340
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,780
The immortal babe is here to see you.
341
00:21:05,780 --> 00:21:09,100
Mr. Roof? Just call me babe.
342
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:10,940
Oh, gee, willikers.
343
00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:15,340
That's Bambino.
344
00:21:16,980 --> 00:21:18,960
It sure is nice to see you.
345
00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:22,000
Hey, kid, you got a radio.
346
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,980
Yeah, it's a keen one. It doesn't get
any static.
347
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,280
Well, you'll be listening to the ball
game this afternoon.
348
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,780
And when the announcer tells you I'm up
to bat, I'm going to point to a spot in
349
00:21:31,780 --> 00:21:34,560
right field grandstands and hit a home
run right into that spot.
350
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,060
And it's going to be just for you,
little Billy.
351
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:46,320
the stadium.
352
00:21:46,860 --> 00:21:47,860
Well done.
353
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,080
Top of the eighth here at Wrigley Field.
354
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,280
The bases are loaded.
355
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,620
The babe steps up to the plate.
356
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:56,200
A hush falls over the crowd.
357
00:21:57,140 --> 00:22:00,780
Wait a minute. What's going on here? The
immortal babe is pointing to the right
358
00:22:00,780 --> 00:22:04,100
field bleachers and out there it means
something to somebody somewhere.
359
00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:06,760
Consuela gets the signal again.
360
00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:08,940
There's the windup and the swing.
361
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,360
It's going. It's going.
362
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,120
I'll have it for you in just a minute.
363
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,700
Great. Oh, that's great. Look at the
board.
364
00:22:55,140 --> 00:22:58,600
Look at the way that board's lit up.
It's like a Christmas tree. You're doing
365
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,580
great. Just keep the energy up. Listen,
you better look over the ending because
366
00:23:01,580 --> 00:23:02,880
I rewrote it. What was my ending?
367
00:23:03,100 --> 00:23:04,100
Go.
368
00:23:14,510 --> 00:23:17,810
and back to Oscar Madison's
exceptionally great moment in fourth.
369
00:23:20,590 --> 00:23:24,230
Well, folks, Babe Ruth went on to
fulfill his destiny and many more great
370
00:23:24,230 --> 00:23:28,550
moments in baseball, but poor little
Billy got sicker and sicker until
371
00:23:28,550 --> 00:23:33,150
one day, when it looked like the end was
near, in far -off England in a tiny
372
00:23:33,150 --> 00:23:35,490
laboratory, a miracle took place.
373
00:23:40,610 --> 00:23:42,950
I see.
374
00:23:43,500 --> 00:23:47,440
Dr. Margolis, I think I've done it.
375
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,980
Hmm? What's that, Dr. Fleming?
376
00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:54,120
I've discovered penicillin.
377
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:07,340
Yes, folks, penicillin. The big piece.
378
00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:15,360
and millions more like him.
379
00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:23,160
Felix Unger here, and as an interesting
footnote, you might like to know that
380
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:27,100
Billy Pomerantz lives today quietly in a
condominium in Iron Mountain, Michigan.
381
00:24:27,340 --> 00:24:31,640
The successful head of the Pomerantz
Joke and Novelty Company, makers of the
382
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,340
world -famous Pomerantz Joybuster.
383
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:37,900
This is Felix Unger reminding you to
tune in tomorrow for Oscar Madison's
384
00:24:37,900 --> 00:24:39,220
moments in sports.
385
00:24:39,460 --> 00:24:42,460
This is Felix Unger, your host.
386
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:04,780
I've got hundreds of calls. No kidding.
Isn't that great?
387
00:25:05,140 --> 00:25:06,180
Correcting the story.
388
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,480
It doesn't matter. What do they think
about it in the front office? That's
389
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,300
counts. Oh, I love it. They're going to
keep it as a regular feature.
390
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,800
No kidding. Only they're going to use
professional actors. We're out.
391
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,600
I'm a professional actor. What are you
talking about?
392
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,260
I'm a member of the union.
393
00:25:20,420 --> 00:25:21,700
Oh, come on. Don't.
32339
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