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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:41,670 It's good to know. You scared me. 2 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,590 You were in Chicago. 3 00:00:43,990 --> 00:00:45,330 When did you come home? 4 00:00:45,690 --> 00:00:49,730 I have a minute. I just got... You traveled on a plane like this? 5 00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:53,490 How come? Why did they let you... Never mind. I don't want to know. 6 00:00:53,730 --> 00:00:54,890 How was your trip? 7 00:00:55,650 --> 00:00:59,150 Tiring. Yeah? The hotel I stayed at booked two conventions. 8 00:00:59,890 --> 00:01:02,010 Megaphone makers and the guys who make bullhorn. 9 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,099 Every night in the stairwell, they had an argument. 10 00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:08,880 Always a story when you come back from a trip. Very funny. During the day, just 11 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,820 last, they went around paging each other. 12 00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:13,540 Don't you want a bite to eat? 13 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,060 Matter of fact, I am hungry. You know that? 14 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,500 I'll tell you the truth. I never can eat on a plane. I can't use that midget 15 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,500 silverware. 16 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,100 A lot of action around here while you were gone. 17 00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:26,540 You got lucky? 18 00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:27,860 Don't talk dirty. 19 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,200 I mean the election. 20 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,480 That playground issue is heating up. What playground issue? 21 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,180 The playground issue. 22 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:42,500 The incumbent councilman, Simpson, is still sponsoring that bill to destroy 23 00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:45,480 playgrounds and put up office buildings. Oh, you may be doing an article on 24 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,860 that. Yeah, I call it the last place to swing. Article? 25 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:53,640 Boy, that was a manifesto. The public reaction to that article was so great, 26 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,140 inspired us to run a candidate against Simpson this election. 27 00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:57,460 Are you crazy? 28 00:01:58,090 --> 00:02:01,670 Simpson has run unopposed in this district for 14 years. I know it, and 29 00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:03,250 time he's going to be opposed. 30 00:02:03,730 --> 00:02:07,190 Well, good luck. What kind of an idiot agreed to run against Simpson? 31 00:02:09,690 --> 00:02:10,850 He agreed. 32 00:03:57,610 --> 00:03:58,610 This is it. 33 00:03:58,690 --> 00:03:59,970 Madison for council headquarters. 34 00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:02,990 This is it? Yeah. 35 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,650 I've got four volunteers. 36 00:04:05,470 --> 00:04:09,950 No. The old lady came in for a banana cake and I enlisted her. 37 00:04:11,410 --> 00:04:12,410 This is the bakery. 38 00:04:13,050 --> 00:04:15,630 Used to be. Used to be Krausmeier's bakery. 39 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,370 Have a number. 17. Lucky number. 40 00:04:18,630 --> 00:04:19,890 What happened to Krausmeier? 41 00:04:20,290 --> 00:04:21,189 Haven't you heard? 42 00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:22,390 No. They closed him down. 43 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:23,750 Why? Yeah. 44 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,280 In the back room, he was running a massage parlor. 45 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:29,880 Hi, Mr. Ranga. 46 00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:31,340 Hello, fellas. 47 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,820 Felix. Who are they? 48 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:38,480 Gypsies. What are they doing here? They got here first. It's a vacant store. 49 00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:41,820 I'm sharing with them. I gave them a chicken. 50 00:04:43,020 --> 00:04:47,960 See what you're getting me into when I don't... I know it's crazy, but this is 51 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:48,960 the way you begin. 52 00:04:49,340 --> 00:04:51,020 And you've got the issue. 53 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,400 Playgrounds. And what's more important, you believe in it. And people will 54 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,219 believe you. 55 00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:58,280 They will? Of course they will. Trust me. 56 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:03,180 You see, what I'm afraid of is I don't know how to campaign and I'm liable to 57 00:05:03,180 --> 00:05:04,520 make a fool out of myself, see? 58 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,480 You're talking to Douglas Dignity. 59 00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:13,580 Would I let you do anything wild? You'll talk to people from your heart. You'll 60 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:16,140 shake their hands. That's all. That's all. That's all. 61 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,100 Okay, I'll give it a try. All right, great. 62 00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:23,250 We have to be at the Bronx Zoo in 30 minutes. I want a picture of you sitting 63 00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:24,189 a giraffe. 64 00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,670 Madison rides high. 65 00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,890 What happened to Douglas Dignity? 66 00:05:29,150 --> 00:05:30,109 Mr. Madison? 67 00:05:30,110 --> 00:05:33,690 Yeah? I can't afford a contribution, but I could pierce your ears. 68 00:05:35,150 --> 00:05:37,550 Thanks, but I use clip -ons. 69 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:36,920 Hi, I'm Larry Elmer. 70 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,480 I've been all over town. I hung up more posters than the FBI. 71 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:44,880 I'm tired of looking at my face. Go take a nap. You can't. Why not? Felix 72 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,880 called. He wants you to meet him at this restaurant. 73 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:50,360 Yeah? Is it in a hotel? I'm tired. I'm not hungry. He said it's a big 74 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,660 breakthrough for your campaign, Oscar. You've got to go. 75 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,280 Yeah? Oh, come on. I don't have a chance in this campaign. 76 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,420 Sure you do. Felix said you got the gypsy vote. Now he's working on a 77 00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:00,420 group of people. 78 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:01,880 Folks who own their furniture. 79 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:03,600 I've changed for the subway. 80 00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:08,330 Consider it a campaign contribution. 81 00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:09,950 Hey, no special favors, Murray. 82 00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:11,670 I'm a policeman. 83 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:12,950 Of course not. 84 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:21,990 We didn't come here to eat. 85 00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:24,030 What are we coming for, the busboy vote? 86 00:07:24,370 --> 00:07:25,470 Do you know Howard K. Smith? 87 00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:27,970 Yeah, I've seen him do the news on TV. Yeah, he eats here. 88 00:07:28,370 --> 00:07:29,490 See him? You see him? 89 00:07:29,810 --> 00:07:31,750 I'm going to get him to mention you on his TV show. 90 00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:35,130 Do you know him? He lives right next door to us. Do you know him? 91 00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:37,190 I pass him on the street all the time, I know. 92 00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:39,550 Mr. Smith? 93 00:07:39,730 --> 00:07:43,790 Hi, Felix Dunger. I want you to meet the next city councilman from your 94 00:07:43,790 --> 00:07:45,670 district, Oscar Madison. 95 00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:48,330 How do you do, sir? Now, we can only stay a moment. 96 00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,390 I'm having lunch. Oh, we already ate. 97 00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:52,710 I'll get right to the point. 98 00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:54,730 Do you mind if I have my food? Oh, sure, surely. 99 00:07:55,410 --> 00:07:57,790 You've starched it, haven't you? Why don't we let the gentleman have his 100 00:07:57,910 --> 00:07:59,850 You see? You see the kind of man he is? 101 00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:02,450 Full of concern for his fellow citizens. 102 00:08:03,610 --> 00:08:04,610 Mr. Smith. 103 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:08,140 Are you aware of the issue in the Madison versus Simpson campaign? 104 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:09,560 No, what is that? 105 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:10,640 Good versus evil. 106 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,200 Strong issue. 107 00:08:12,260 --> 00:08:13,520 Where do you stand on it? 108 00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:15,780 You looking for something? 109 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:16,880 My coleslaw. 110 00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:19,460 Waiter! Mr. Smith's coleslaw. 111 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:20,880 I'll have an iced tea. 112 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:22,560 You want some? 113 00:08:22,820 --> 00:08:23,820 Hemlock. 114 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,080 Separate check. 115 00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:29,200 Excuse me. I don't like to talk politics while I'm eating. You're right. 116 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:30,560 Surely. 117 00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:33,620 We'll wait. 118 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,400 Leave your plate. 119 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,560 Oscar, hurry, you're going to miss this commentary. 120 00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:53,400 Tonight's commentary concerns a local election here in Manhattan. 121 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:58,940 A sports writer named Oscar Madison is waging an underdog campaign for the city 122 00:08:58,940 --> 00:09:03,400 council. I met Mr. Madison and his campaign manager over lunch today. 123 00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:08,280 After they made sure I ate it all and trimmed the fat and chewed it 124 00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,120 they told me the issue. 125 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:13,660 Mr. Madison is trying to save our neighborhood playground. 126 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:19,040 He is trying to spread his word without much money. In fact, they stuck me for 127 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,240 the price of the iced tea. 128 00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:23,980 But it's a word that should be heard. 129 00:09:24,540 --> 00:09:30,120 They're making up in drive and in enthusiasm for what they lack in 130 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,120 in manners. 131 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,300 There's a place for these two men in politics. 132 00:09:34,410 --> 00:09:35,570 But not at my table. 133 00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:37,310 Good night, Harry. 134 00:09:40,950 --> 00:09:42,450 Am I a campaign manager? 135 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:43,750 Boy, that's terrific. 136 00:09:43,890 --> 00:09:45,150 You went coast to coast, right? 137 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,690 Yeah. Now everybody in the country knows you're a pest. 138 00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:49,390 But... 139 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,160 Volunteers, everybody, give me your attention. 140 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:58,460 Now, Oscar Madison has been out on the streets of this city since early 141 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:03,340 working his heart out for you and you and you and me. 142 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:09,260 I think that when he comes back, we should greet him with a rousing welcome. 143 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,360 What do you say? 144 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,220 Good. Okay. 145 00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:16,250 Back to the barricade. Oh, boy, there's really a great feeling in this room, 146 00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:19,130 isn't there? Yeah, where is Oscar, anyway? He's out making contact with 147 00:11:19,130 --> 00:11:20,230 group, another ethnic group. 148 00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:21,670 He hit them all by now. 149 00:11:21,970 --> 00:11:23,610 We leave no stone unturned. 150 00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:27,570 Very easy. 151 00:11:27,890 --> 00:11:29,470 You look sensational. 152 00:11:30,050 --> 00:11:31,310 Did we get the Indian vote? 153 00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:32,650 All three of them. 154 00:11:33,690 --> 00:11:34,890 Did you hear the great news? 155 00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:39,010 What? Miriam took another poll. You're up to 17%. Hey, that's pretty good. Hey, 156 00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:40,430 did you see the afternoon paper? 157 00:11:40,710 --> 00:11:41,710 No. I did. 158 00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:44,790 Mary. Oscar. 159 00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:49,330 What? Simpson concedes on the playground issue. You're kidding. 160 00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:51,070 Everybody, give me your attention. 161 00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,129 Great news. 162 00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:53,130 Gypsies, everybody. 163 00:11:53,450 --> 00:11:58,230 Simpson has conceded on the issue of the playgrounds. We keep our playgrounds. 164 00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:00,810 Oh, boy. 165 00:12:01,050 --> 00:12:03,970 Oh, boy. Oh, do you know what this means? 166 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,610 Yeah, it means we get to go home. What are you talking about? 167 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,980 Oh, she's right. We got into this campaign to settle a playground issue. 168 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:13,740 it. Hey, you all did some terrific job. Thank you all. I'm going to the 169 00:12:13,740 --> 00:12:14,740 racetrack. No, Oscar. 170 00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:16,740 Oscar. Oscar, come back. 171 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:01,680 Choose to run. 172 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,300 Oh, come on. 173 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:08,100 Where's your patriotism? What do you want me to be, the father of Lexington 174 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:09,100 Avenue? 175 00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:12,400 I won the campaign that I wanted to win, and that's all there is to it. 176 00:13:13,020 --> 00:13:16,320 But if you were a councilman, you could do so much more. 177 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:21,000 You could put great, big, handsome trash baskets on every corner. 178 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,100 You could wash the Statue of Liberty. 179 00:13:23,740 --> 00:13:27,060 You could put those ugly fire hydrants underground so the dogs wouldn't have a 180 00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:28,060 tendency. 181 00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:31,860 It's ridiculous to think that I could win. Why? 182 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,940 Why? One reason we had no money, that's why. Did Washington have money? Somebody 183 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:39,040 bought those cute wigs for him. He had spirit. 184 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:43,140 That's what he had. He believed in what he was doing and he had... 185 00:14:06,109 --> 00:14:07,190 publisher. Yes, Mr. Bryan. 186 00:14:08,670 --> 00:14:11,910 Well, to be honest, I was thinking of withdrawing, sir. 187 00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:16,110 I agree with you. That wouldn't be a stupid idea. 188 00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:20,110 Well, it was just a fleeting thought. I mean, I certainly would. 189 00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:22,410 Yes, sir. 190 00:14:22,730 --> 00:14:24,670 Okay. Thank you. Bye -bye. 191 00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:28,310 What? What? You're not going to believe this. What? What? 192 00:14:28,970 --> 00:14:31,110 The publisher. He wants me to continue with my campaign. 193 00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:34,530 He said that spot with Howard K. Smith that gave the paper a lot of publicity. 194 00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:36,250 He doesn't like Simpson, but listen to this. 195 00:14:36,770 --> 00:14:38,350 He's going to finance our campaign. 196 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,640 What is this? I thought we were going on television. 197 00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:53,919 It's not television. 198 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,040 This is the Igor Show. 199 00:15:55,360 --> 00:16:00,000 Igor is a big star, buddy. We're going to talk in front of horror film fans? 200 00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:01,139 They vote. 201 00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:04,560 Horror shows are... Five seconds, Igor. You guys get off the stage. 202 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,060 Three seconds, Igor. 203 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:08,160 Where's Igor? 204 00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:09,620 I don't know. 205 00:16:11,060 --> 00:16:17,800 We shall return to tonight's horror movie, Mysterious Planet 206 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:18,800 Debbie. 207 00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:23,870 Right after this word from Councilman Simpson, who is running for re -election 208 00:16:23,870 --> 00:16:25,870 in the 34th Council District. 209 00:16:26,430 --> 00:16:27,590 Mr. Simpson! 210 00:16:28,630 --> 00:16:29,630 Ah! 211 00:16:36,510 --> 00:16:37,730 Thank you, Igor. 212 00:16:38,190 --> 00:16:39,450 You're welcome. 213 00:16:41,650 --> 00:16:43,030 Good evening, friends. 214 00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:47,630 On behalf of my lovely wife, Edith, and my little girl, Irene, 215 00:16:48,350 --> 00:16:52,730 And my son, James, I would like to thank you for the privilege of having served 216 00:16:52,730 --> 00:16:54,230 you for the last 14 years. 217 00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:58,510 During this campaign, I have been opposed by Mr. 218 00:16:58,870 --> 00:17:03,290 Oscar Madison, a public -spirited citizen who has brought to my attention 219 00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:06,250 several pressing community problems. 220 00:17:07,010 --> 00:17:12,750 And for this, I would like to thank him sincerely, Mr. Madison. However, when 221 00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:17,050 you go to the polls tomorrow to cast your vote, I urge you to place your 222 00:17:17,050 --> 00:17:23,369 confidence. In a man with experience, I would like to remind you that it was I 223 00:17:23,369 --> 00:17:26,170 who got the additional police protection for our neighborhoods. 224 00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:31,830 And I would like you to remember that it was I that engineered the federal funds 225 00:17:31,830 --> 00:17:33,430 with which we improved our school. 226 00:17:34,530 --> 00:17:39,910 Lastly, I would like to remind you that a vote for Simpson is a vote for 227 00:17:39,910 --> 00:17:41,370 progress. Thank you very much. 228 00:17:43,910 --> 00:17:46,070 We're going home now to pop some corn. 229 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,170 Thank you, Councilman. 230 00:17:53,130 --> 00:17:57,790 Now, boys and ghouls, back to the mysterious planet Debbie. 231 00:17:58,090 --> 00:18:00,410 As you recall, our hero, Dr. 232 00:18:00,670 --> 00:18:05,230 Rontor, was struggling with the awful curse of the Qataba people. 233 00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:10,990 This is a nice guy. 234 00:18:11,210 --> 00:18:12,590 Igor? He's a pussycat. 235 00:18:12,890 --> 00:18:13,890 I'm Igor Simpson. 236 00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:17,570 Did you fall for all that malarkey? Listen. 237 00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,690 You're the man of the people. You're going to wipe him out. 238 00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:24,070 He looked pretty appealing. His kids were so cute, I wanted to go and hug him 239 00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:25,070 myself. 240 00:18:26,510 --> 00:18:28,430 You're on in ten minutes. I'll be right back. 241 00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:33,070 You watch the film on the monitor. It's a real goody. I've seen it seven times. 242 00:18:33,330 --> 00:18:36,530 Here comes the part where the giant cockroach swallowed Rhode Island. 243 00:18:40,210 --> 00:18:41,210 Rhode Island. 244 00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:42,710 Big deal, sweet bite. 245 00:18:45,930 --> 00:18:46,930 Igor. 246 00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:49,990 Wait, the bagpipe and the octopus engaged. 247 00:18:50,510 --> 00:18:52,630 No, no, no, they're still eating. Oh, 248 00:18:52,670 --> 00:19:10,410 don't 249 00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:11,710 cry, folk. 250 00:19:12,870 --> 00:19:15,110 It was only Rhode Island. 251 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,440 Don't you just love the part where he spit out Providence? 252 00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:30,680 Now, right after this commercial, we'll be hearing 253 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,580 from Councilman Simpson's opponent, Oscar Madison. 254 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,200 Commercial rolling. 255 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:37,740 Oscar. 256 00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:40,900 Please. Thank you, Ingo. 257 00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:48,000 Have you been? I'll be on the air. 258 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:49,500 Come on. 259 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,040 Who are they? 260 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:57,580 I don't even know them. 261 00:19:57,940 --> 00:20:00,740 Who are they? 262 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,420 Those are your loved ones. 263 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,280 My loved ones? Yes. No, no. I know what you're doing. They're not my loved ones. 264 00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:06,300 No, no, no. 265 00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:10,120 I'm not going to do it. Two, one, go. 266 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:15,420 Good evening, everyone. My name is Felix Unger, and I have the great good 267 00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:16,420 fortune and honor. 268 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:20,570 to be the campaign manager for Oscar Madison, who was unfortunately called 269 00:20:20,570 --> 00:20:22,550 to help a needy person. 270 00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:28,210 I'm surrounded by Mr. Madison's loved ones. 271 00:20:28,710 --> 00:20:34,270 But who wouldn't love the brave hero of Anzio, who single -handedly saved an 272 00:20:34,270 --> 00:20:38,650 entire platoon, the famous 143rd Melting Pot Platoon. 273 00:20:39,490 --> 00:20:43,350 Italians, Jews, Puerto Ricans, you name them, he saved them. 274 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:47,280 Here is Oscar Madison. 275 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:48,500 How are the needy people? 276 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:49,720 They're fine. 277 00:20:49,820 --> 00:20:54,940 My campaign manager, Felix Unger, gets carried away and has a great sense of 278 00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:58,880 humor. These are not my loved ones. They're very nice people, I'm sure, but 279 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:02,020 they're not my loved ones, and I was not a hero in Anzio. 280 00:21:02,340 --> 00:21:05,780 I would like to be a councilman. I think I did a good job on the playground 281 00:21:05,780 --> 00:21:10,900 issue, and if you do elect me, I'll try harder to do even more for you. Thank 282 00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:11,900 you very much. 283 00:21:14,990 --> 00:21:16,710 Thank you. Thank you. Here's your dollar. 284 00:21:17,050 --> 00:21:19,090 Here's your dollar. Thank you, madam. Here's your dollar. 285 00:21:22,690 --> 00:21:24,330 Now, why are you so mad at me? 286 00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:29,270 If I made a mistake, it's only because of Oprah's zealousness. I went too far. 287 00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:30,129 All right. 288 00:21:30,130 --> 00:21:31,350 Trying to get me votes from who? 289 00:21:31,550 --> 00:21:32,550 Ghouls in Pennsylvania? 290 00:21:33,130 --> 00:21:35,910 Ethnically, it wasn't probable. But she's going to vote for you. She's going 291 00:21:35,910 --> 00:21:36,910 vote for you. 292 00:21:37,390 --> 00:21:39,890 What are you going to do, fire me? No, I don't want to fire you. I just don't 293 00:21:39,890 --> 00:21:42,490 want to go through that craziness. These are your loved ones. How am I going to 294 00:21:42,490 --> 00:21:46,170 handle that? There's no more craziness. We've got one more day, and, baby, we're 295 00:21:46,170 --> 00:21:47,170 going to go. 296 00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:49,070 Where? To the top. 297 00:22:42,190 --> 00:22:46,450 sweet and so beguiling, a face you'd love to kiss. 298 00:22:50,590 --> 00:22:54,270 And so election night draws to a close over New York, ending one of the most 299 00:22:54,270 --> 00:22:58,450 harrowing campaigns in local history. The 34th district had the largest voter 300 00:22:58,450 --> 00:23:00,850 turnout, and the final count is now in. 301 00:23:01,050 --> 00:23:07,630 It's Simpson with 5 ,413 votes, and Madison, 5 ,280 votes. 302 00:23:08,090 --> 00:23:11,590 Simpson retains his council seat. Now back to our regular programming. 303 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,780 Simpson is the winner. 304 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:24,360 Hey, come on here. What's the matter with you people? 305 00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:28,200 We got 48 % of the vote. What are you depressed about? 306 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:32,000 Do you realize we almost took an election away from a man who's been 307 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:36,380 years? I guarantee you Simpson will be on his toes from now on in. 308 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,680 You know who's responsible for this mostly? 309 00:23:39,710 --> 00:23:43,910 My best friend and my campaign manager, Felix Unger, and he'll explain it better 310 00:23:43,910 --> 00:23:44,910 than I will. 311 00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:19,440 It's an hour and a half already. 312 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,300 You're not listening to me. 313 00:24:24,980 --> 00:24:25,980 Now, hear this. 314 00:24:26,860 --> 00:24:29,140 Now, hear this. You did very, very well. 315 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:34,180 The problem was that you had dreams of grandeur. You even pictured me as the 316 00:24:34,180 --> 00:24:35,180 president, didn't you? 317 00:24:38,820 --> 00:24:40,000 Come on, buddy. 318 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:45,740 Let's go out of here proud. I can't tell you. You did a great job, and I'm so 319 00:24:45,740 --> 00:24:46,740 proud of you. 320 00:24:47,210 --> 00:24:49,070 I want to thank you for everything you did. 321 00:24:49,330 --> 00:24:51,270 Come on, buddy. Let's go home. 322 00:24:52,290 --> 00:24:53,470 You were terrific. 323 00:24:59,450 --> 00:25:00,610 Thank you, Oscar. 26003

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