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Hi, Marie.
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Hi, Sam.
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How come you got a sign in the front
door, use the service door?
4
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For the same reason I'm typing in the
kitchen. Felix shampooed the rug, it's
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still wet.
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I can't even get to my room, I'm a
prisoner in here.
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Where do you go?
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I use the Benjamins apartment.
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Here's the first two pages for the
column, all right? I'll be finished with
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other one in a second.
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What's it about, water polo?
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It's a magazine.
13
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Oh, it's your Playboy, it came in the
mail.
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Why'd you bring it in?
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So you could read it.
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I have it sent to the office for a
reason.
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Why? You're not married.
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Will you listen to me? If I have it sent
to the office, that's what I want.
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Hi, folks.
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00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:48,580
Merida. Merida, why doesn't he want this
in the house?
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What? Doesn't he want what?
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What do you got here?
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The Odd Couple was filmed in front of a
live audience.
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I told you I never want that rag in this
house. I tried to warn you. It was too
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late.
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What do you got against the magazine?
Everything.
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Never bring it back here again. Do you
understand that? Do you understand me?
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All right, all right.
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Hey,
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look what I found in the hall.
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Hubba hubba hubba.
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Policemen on duty.
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Hey, finders, keepers, losers, weepers.
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Don't forget, the floor's wet.
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Boy, it's all the times I let him ride
in my quad car. Next time, he's just
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behind the cage.
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Why does he got against the magazine?
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Oh, it goes way back to when I used to
work for Playboy.
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How come you got fired?
40
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What makes you think I got fired? Who
would quit?
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That was my first job in New York. I
used to write copy and things like that.
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The magazine was just beginning.
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But Felix couldn't get started as a
photographer, see? He wanted to marry
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Gloria, but he couldn't get enough
money. This is going to be a long story,
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Murray.
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Maybe you'll like it.
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Anyway, one night he came to the
apartment.
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That's when it really was my apartment.
Oh, it had that nice, lived -in look.
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It's good.
50
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Ties up.
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Exactly even.
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Felix. Oh!
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I'm glad you came by, buddy. It's just a
guy I want to see.
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Not bad, huh?
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Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.
56
00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:06,600
No luck again today?
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I got one call.
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Old lady wanted me to photograph her
parakeet, winking.
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I said yes.
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Then she told me she wouldn't be able to
pay me.
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She said she'd knit me an afghan, any
color I chose.
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I even agreed to that.
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And she said it would take over a year
and a half because of her arthritis.
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I don't know. I may turn it down.
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00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:34,060
I'm telling you, turn it down.
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I need the sweater.
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Black to match my future.
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Never going to have enough money to
marry Gloria. Sure you will. I'm trying
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tell you your troubles are over. I got
your job today.
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Really? Yeah.
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When? What?
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My boy magazine. The same one I'm
working for. I showed the art director
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pictures. I want to tell you, he
flipped. He says you're very talented. I
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I'm really good, Oscar. Oh, you're such
a good friend. Thank you, Oscar. You
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don't have to thank me.
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00:05:03,590 --> 00:05:05,790
It was your pictures that convinced him.
Really? Yeah.
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My talent got me the job.
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I don't have to thank you. Yes, you do.
I also got Gloria a job.
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Doing what? Cocktail waitress.
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Cocktail waitress?
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Well, it's a UF Miss Club. The magazine
has its own club. I mean, it's a classy
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joint. But tell me about me. What do I
do? When do I start? You start right
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away. You have to do some tests for Miss
April.
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I don't understand.
85
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Well, you take pictures of six nudes,
and they choose one to be Miss April in
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the centerfold, see?
87
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Nudie cuties?
88
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You're not going to be nervous about
that, are you?
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No, I'm not nervous.
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00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,480
Listen, you know me. Easy Unger, Mr.
Party Guy.
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You're Mr. Party Guy?
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00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,280
I'm certainly not one of your...
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Pressed Victorian squares? I'm an
artist. I hang loose.
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You shat nudes before then, huh?
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Millions. Oh.
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Well, come on. Let's go out and
celebrate, huh?
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I got a better idea. Let's do something
really great.
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Let's clean this room.
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Are you kidding?
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We're going to go out and celebrate.
We're going to go to the club. We're
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to drink a few drinks. We're going to
see Gloria. We're going to laugh a lot.
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It's going to be a ball.
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You know, I like this room better in the
dark.
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00:06:08,980 --> 00:06:09,819
Nice, huh?
105
00:06:09,820 --> 00:06:13,580
Yes, I must admit, I'm very impressed.
This is very lovely indeed.
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Tastefully, feeling.
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Only human. I know. It's a very, very
pleasant place. I'm glad Gloria has such
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nice job. Good. That's why I wanted to
see it.
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Hello. I'm your bunny, Gloria.
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Who?
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Shame, shame, Gloria. Naughty, naughty
Gloria. Come here.
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Hey, please.
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Would you explain these are my working
clothes? Yeah, that's part of her
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costume.
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I think she looks kind of cute. Oh, you
do? Don't look like that. Don't look
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like that.
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Oh, Gloria, what have they done to you?
You look so brazen, don't they? She
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looks like everybody else in the club.
All the girls you would mind on the way
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to the table. Don't compare my Gloria to
those animals.
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Sit down so they don't... Please, I have
got to get back to work.
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Will you?
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You weren't upset by the other bunnies.
I'm not engaged to the other bunnies.
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I hate this place. I hate it. All right,
all right. You hate it.
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You watch yourself, pervert!
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I don't care what you tell him. Turn in
your tail. Get out of here. Come on.
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Please, I've got to get back to work.
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I'm going to lose my mind.
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I'm going to work for this organization.
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All you have to do is do a good job, get
successful, marry Gloria, then she'll
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quit.
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Does she have to bend over so much when
she serves?
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Gloria, do you have to bend all the way
over like this? Do you have to go like
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this, sir, like this?
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Miss Hilton, I'm sorry I got you in this
trouble. If you don't like it, why
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don't you quit?
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Because I need the job. You can't have
it both ways.
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All right.
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I'm adjusting.
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I'm fine. I'm fine.
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We'll order champagne and toast New
York's best young photographer, Spencer
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Benedict. Who's that?
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That's me.
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You don't think I'm going to use my real
name for nudies?
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That looks just lovely.
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That's just perfect, perfect.
146
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:20,260
Now, Julia, could you make the pose just
a little bit more languorous? You know
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what I mean? A little more feel -good.
Put your hand behind your head. Oh, come
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on, will you, Peter?
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But you're good. You're good.
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You're helping me.
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Nobody will understand you. Why?
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In a few minutes, you're going to be
shooting six beautiful girls nude.
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cool as a cucumber. Well, this is my
job. I'm like a doctor. Just technical
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problems to me. The color, the
composition, all that.
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Well, Oscar, I want to thank you very,
very much. You've been very kind. Lend
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your pad.
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They didn't want a studio job. They
wanted this. It's just right, though.
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The girl's going to be here soon, so I
think the time has come when you
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should... What's the matter, boy?
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That short throat, I tell you, it's
moist out there.
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Throat, my foot. I know what you want,
you dirty guy. You want to stand around
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and ogle the girl. You can't do it. I'll
be okay. I'll sit here, I'll behave,
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I'll be fine, honestly.
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What am I going to tell the girls? Don't
pay any attention to that man in the
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00:09:09,930 --> 00:09:12,430
corner. He's harmless. His tongue is
always hanging out like that.
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that? How often does a guy get a chance
to get him on the ground floor or
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00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:19,520
something like this?
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Be the boyfriend.
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The what?
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00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:23,720
Whatever they do with the story about a
playmate. They always have the boyfriend
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along. They're running together. They're
skiing together. They play horse.
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You're going to be the same boyfriend
for all six girls? No, I'm going to pick
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one. You're not the type for that.
That's the swinging bachelor type.
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Suave debonair. What am I?
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Chopped liver?
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At best. You never saw me in my suave
debonair outfit.
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Out! Out!
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I didn't want to have to say this, but
you see, if you don't let me stay...
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00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,140
Then I'm not going to let you use my
apartment.
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Well put.
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You got it.
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Now what do I tell the girls?
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You're here to write the captions.
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00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:55,380
She skis. She's a philosophy major. She
wants to be a policewoman. Typical girl
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next door.
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00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,680
Okay.
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00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,020
Hello.
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00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,260
Hi, Brenda Martin. Hello, Brenda Martin.
I'm Spencer Benedict.
189
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:09,660
Now, when you can go back and change in
just a minute, tell me about yourself.
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00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:11,260
Are you a dancer or are you a model?
191
00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:14,420
I'm a dancer. Uh -huh. Good. Have you
done this kind of work before?
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00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:21,500
Hello, my dear.
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00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:24,100
Hello. I've got my eye on you.
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00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:28,420
Thank you. Good night. Bye -bye.
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00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,320
Will you tell me what you're doing?
196
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,580
What was all that heel -clicking, the
hand -kissing? You told me to be a
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00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:39,340
gentleman. Have you no...
198
00:10:39,660 --> 00:10:42,280
Conscience whatsoever? Is there no end
to your chicanery?
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00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:45,160
You told one girl you're an exiled polo
player.
200
00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:47,940
You told another you lost your eye in a
duel.
201
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:50,820
You told that girl you're a Romanian
prince.
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00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:54,200
You're not going to believe this. A lot
of people take me for Romanian.
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00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:55,760
Yeah.
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00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:56,960
Pastrami lovers.
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00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:00,220
That must be the sixth.
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00:11:02,340 --> 00:11:04,480
Hello, my... Oh, hi, Gloria. Come on in.
Hi.
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00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,140
working today. Yeah, well, we'll have
another hour, so we have another girl
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00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:13,940
coming. I know. I'm the other girl.
209
00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:15,700
I'm the main one.
210
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,380
You're shaming me.
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00:11:26,740 --> 00:11:29,580
She's taking off her clothes back there.
I don't know what to do.
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00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,900
She says if I don't take the picture,
somebody else will.
213
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:37,100
When do we stop? Oh, come on. What am I
supposed to do?
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00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,120
I'll use photographic tricks.
215
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,160
I'll superimpose the Eiffel Tower over
it and call her Miss April in Paris.
216
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,540
Why don't you shoot her with all her
clothes on and call her April Fool?
217
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,340
I could make her Miss December.
218
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:51,420
A Santa suit. She's carrying the sack in
front of her. Will you stop being...
219
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:54,780
I'm ready. I'm coming out. No, no. Don't
come out. Not yet. Not yet. Come on.
220
00:11:54,860 --> 00:11:56,280
Come on. Let's go. I live here.
221
00:11:56,480 --> 00:12:00,200
Out. Amscray. All right. Let me change
my jacket. I'm not going back there.
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00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:04,500
on. Where am I going to go? I don't
know. Wherever exiled one -eyed Romanian
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00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:05,680
polo players go.
224
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,100
All right. I'll go see half a movie.
225
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,560
work here, remember? What are you doing
here? I'm supposed to meet the art
226
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:16,980
editor. Al Fisher.
227
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,860
Show him my pictures. Hey, how'd they
turn out?
228
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,160
Nice, nice.
229
00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:22,260
What about Gloria's shots?
230
00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:24,180
Overexposed.
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00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:27,520
Hey, now, you didn't cop out with that
April in Paris bit, did you? No, she
232
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,880
wouldn't let me. She's totally
unencumbered. Oh, yeah? Let me see. No,
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00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,100
chance. We're not gonna use Gloria
anyway.
234
00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:34,319
Why not?
235
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,560
She's got a mole on her knee.
236
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:39,460
Who cares about a mole on her knee? They
want them perfect. Oh, they don't want
237
00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:40,460
them that perfect.
238
00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:41,580
Oh,
239
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:42,660
hi, Al.
240
00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:45,010
How are you? Nice to see you. This is
our art director, Al Fisher.
241
00:12:45,290 --> 00:12:46,410
This is Felix Unger.
242
00:12:47,530 --> 00:12:49,390
How do you do? How do you do? Sit, sit,
sit.
243
00:12:50,110 --> 00:12:53,170
You've got the picture for me, right?
Yes, yes, there you are. Good, good. Let
244
00:12:53,170 --> 00:12:53,829
me see.
245
00:12:53,830 --> 00:12:55,030
Sit back. Oh, come on.
246
00:12:55,830 --> 00:12:58,410
Nice, nice, nice,
247
00:12:59,230 --> 00:13:00,230
nice.
248
00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:02,250
Where's the sixth one?
249
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:04,130
Sixth one? Oh, yeah.
250
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:07,230
You wouldn't like that one. It turned
out badly. I'll be the judge of what is
251
00:13:07,230 --> 00:13:10,480
good. Please, you're contracted for six,
give him six, will you? You're not
252
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:16,740
going to like it. It's no good. It's a
total worthless waste. I was going to
253
00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:17,740
throw it away.
254
00:13:17,980 --> 00:13:18,980
You want this?
255
00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:21,620
We artists always hide our failures.
256
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,920
Will you sit?
257
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,260
Oh, I just... She's beautiful.
258
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:30,720
Let me look at her in the light.
259
00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:35,980
Here, let me look at her, too. Will you
bug off? You two, mister, mind your own
260
00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:36,980
business.
261
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,380
Oh, yeah, let me see them all. At least
I know your papers.
262
00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:43,640
Felix, this is Miss April.
263
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,540
I think you're making a mistake. I
really do.
264
00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:50,060
I got another one in here that's... All
five are better, as a matter of fact.
265
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,120
Well, if you want a third opinion, let
me see... You're not going to see this
266
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,120
picture. Why not?
267
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,460
Everybody's going to see it in April.
No, they're not. You can't print this
268
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,460
picture. Why not?
269
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:57,780
Because. Because why?
270
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,200
Because.
271
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:00,960
Because it's a fake.
272
00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:05,520
This picture is actually of Oscar's
doorman, Bud Downey Young.
273
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:09,460
It's amazing what you can do with an
airbrush. I'm so ashamed of myself. Come
274
00:14:09,460 --> 00:14:12,540
on, give me that. No, you're not going
to print that. No, you're not. Over my
275
00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:13,940
dead body. You can torture me.
276
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,320
You've got a contract, Mr. Unger. I'm
sorry.
277
00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:19,680
I'll sue you.
278
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,340
I'll sue your head off.
279
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:27,080
I will, too. I'll sue him. How are you
going to assume it's a big corporation
280
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,880
that got the best lawyers in the world?
I'll get the biggest lawyer in the
281
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,840
country, Melvin Belli. He's the only one
who can do it. He wouldn't touch it.
282
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,200
Who needs him? I'll do it myself.
283
00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:38,940
You don't have a case, Gloria? What's
the picture printed? Oh, who listens to
284
00:14:38,940 --> 00:14:40,620
anything a girl who walks around nude
says?
285
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:44,320
I always have.
286
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:54,440
Be ready. I'm going to put you on the
stand as a character witness.
287
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:56,600
Order, please.
288
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:01,660
The case of Felix Unger suing the Hugh
Hefner Corporation.
289
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,940
Are you both satisfied with the jury?
290
00:15:05,550 --> 00:15:06,550
We are, Your Honor.
291
00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:08,490
Eminently satisfied, Your Honor.
292
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:10,150
How are you, Frank? How are you?
293
00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:16,490
And a big hello to Sister Evangeline of
the Salvation Army. You do good work,
294
00:15:16,510 --> 00:15:17,510
wonderful work.
295
00:15:18,890 --> 00:15:24,350
Please, Mr. Arnold, when we recess, why
don't you just give each juror an apple?
296
00:15:27,670 --> 00:15:31,430
Do you still want to handle your own
case? Yes, Your Judgeship, I do.
297
00:15:31,990 --> 00:15:32,990
Very well.
298
00:15:33,610 --> 00:15:35,210
You may begin, Mr. Hoffman.
299
00:15:35,730 --> 00:15:37,410
Oh, thank you, Your Honor.
300
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:38,870
I'll be brief.
301
00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:40,750
Objection, Your Honor.
302
00:15:41,930 --> 00:15:43,250
On what grounds?
303
00:15:43,550 --> 00:15:47,490
My esteemed colleague is attempting to
prejudice the jury by being brief,
304
00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:51,450
thereby insinuating that I will be
lengthy and boring.
305
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,350
Objection overruled.
306
00:15:54,690 --> 00:15:55,690
Thank you, Your Honor.
307
00:15:58,190 --> 00:15:59,750
It's an open and shut case.
308
00:16:00,390 --> 00:16:02,430
He really has no grounds to sue us.
309
00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:08,690
Mr. Felix Unger signed a legal contract
with Hugh Hefner Corporation to supply
310
00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:09,690
us with six subjects.
311
00:16:10,150 --> 00:16:14,810
He has only supplied us with five, and
he has refused to allow us to print the
312
00:16:14,810 --> 00:16:15,810
sixth.
313
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:20,410
Now then, I would like to enter into
evidence this contract Mark has
314
00:16:20,510 --> 00:16:21,510
May I see this, please?
315
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:22,850
Hmm.
316
00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:25,530
You're building a case on this?
317
00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:27,670
Look at this, Jura.
318
00:16:28,350 --> 00:16:30,750
This is what he's building a case on. He
thinks he's got a case.
319
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,079
Is this the contract?
320
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,080
Yes.
321
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:36,940
Is this your signature? Yes.
322
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,060
A heck of a case.
323
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:46,560
Legal minds may differ, but it is our
contention, Your Honor, that I find this
324
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:49,540
mere scrap of paper under emotional
duress.
325
00:16:49,740 --> 00:16:51,560
He was under no duress.
326
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:53,920
Balderdash!
327
00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:05,730
Paul is our first and only witness to
the stand, Mr.
328
00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:06,950
Oscar Madison.
329
00:17:08,690 --> 00:17:12,050
He's going to put my best friend on the
stand.
330
00:17:12,710 --> 00:17:14,630
He thinks it's going to do him super.
331
00:17:14,970 --> 00:17:21,750
You blew it, buddy. You had me on that
contract business
332
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:28,069
and you didn't know it. Now you blew it.
Mr. Madison, were you present when Mr.
333
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,250
Unger signed this contract?
334
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:30,570
Yes, I was.
335
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:34,770
And would you please tell the court
exactly what was his reaction to this?
336
00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:41,990
Well, it would be difficult for me to
say. Oh, well, now, come, Mr. Madison.
337
00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:43,250
I'm sure you can remember.
338
00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:46,010
Tell us, how did he act?
339
00:17:46,890 --> 00:17:50,510
Well, he threw his hat up in the air and
yelled yippee.
340
00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:52,750
Yelled what?
341
00:17:53,650 --> 00:17:54,650
Yippee.
342
00:17:55,690 --> 00:17:59,570
Yippee. Well, no further questions, Your
Honor. Your witness.
343
00:18:10,629 --> 00:18:12,390
Playboy magazine. I beg your pardon,
what, what?
344
00:18:13,310 --> 00:18:14,310
Playboy magazine.
345
00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:16,110
Ah, well, well, well.
346
00:18:17,010 --> 00:18:19,730
And how long did you think you could
keep that from us?
347
00:18:22,850 --> 00:18:26,830
I wasn't trying to keep anything from
you. Your Honor, this man is obviously a
348
00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:27,910
stooge of management.
349
00:18:28,950 --> 00:18:30,550
A corporation puppet.
350
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:37,070
One of those little gray men you see
skulking through the halls of any giant
351
00:18:37,070 --> 00:18:38,070
cartel.
352
00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:46,470
faceless men without scruples trying to
claw their way to the top.
353
00:18:47,530 --> 00:18:51,730
I think I speak for this entire court
when I say you make
354
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:19,680
Defense rest, Your Honor.
355
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:23,540
Mr. Unger, you may present your case.
356
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,740
You will not find me unprepared, Your
Honor.
357
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:34,480
I have contrived what I consider to be
an uncompetitive case.
358
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:41,780
I will cite legal ethics, moral
standards, ladies,
359
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,020
publishing precedent,
360
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:56,150
In order that the court may judge what
sort of man stands here alone before me,
361
00:19:56,250 --> 00:20:02,190
I will call to the stand as a character
witness, Oscar Madison.
362
00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:07,210
You make me sick!
363
00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:13,190
No further questions.
364
00:20:21,450 --> 00:20:24,290
evidence. Give me a break, Your Honor.
This is my fiancée. I don't want to talk
365
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:25,290
to you.
366
00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:30,530
Please, Mr. Unger, we don't whine in
court.
367
00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:34,690
How would you feel if a national
magazine printed a naked picture of your
368
00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:36,030
A maid!
369
00:20:37,350 --> 00:20:39,110
It's your problem, not mine.
370
00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:40,289
Now, now, Mr.
371
00:20:40,290 --> 00:20:42,050
Unger, the law is the law.
372
00:20:42,610 --> 00:20:46,570
If the photo were obscene, you might
have an argument. It is. I know. I took
373
00:20:46,570 --> 00:20:47,570
I'm an obscene photographer.
374
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,000
of contention. Bring me the photograph.
375
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,299
No, I'd rather not.
376
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:55,300
What?
377
00:20:55,740 --> 00:20:56,740
Do I have a choice?
378
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,300
Yes. You can bring me the picture or be
cited for contempt.
379
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,520
Some choice.
380
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,900
Let the jury know. No, no, please don't.
The bailiff. Even
381
00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:37,640
the bailiff gets to see it.
382
00:22:04,430 --> 00:22:05,690
I love sports stories like that.
383
00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:06,990
Am I interrupting something?
384
00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:10,670
I got a message you wanted to see me.
Excuse me, girls. I've been looking all
385
00:22:10,670 --> 00:22:11,670
over for you. Where you been?
386
00:22:11,870 --> 00:22:13,150
Walking. Where? Where?
387
00:22:13,430 --> 00:22:14,430
Walking.
388
00:22:14,970 --> 00:22:15,970
Walked. I walked.
389
00:22:16,510 --> 00:22:18,430
I kept thinking about April.
390
00:22:19,830 --> 00:22:22,310
April used to be my most favorite month.
391
00:22:24,330 --> 00:22:25,470
Spring house cleaning.
392
00:22:26,350 --> 00:22:28,370
April showers bring May flowers.
393
00:22:28,570 --> 00:22:32,170
Are you still feeling sorry? In April,
we have 15 million people. 30 million
394
00:22:32,170 --> 00:22:33,270
eyes are going to be stabbed.
395
00:22:36,810 --> 00:22:37,810
they're gonna think.
396
00:22:38,050 --> 00:22:41,290
Woman who told me when I was a kid if I
read National Geographic, I'd go blind.
397
00:22:47,210 --> 00:22:50,210
You Hefner? Feel it someday.
398
00:22:50,830 --> 00:22:54,210
This is Hugh Hefner. You think a big man
like that could afford a jacket? He's
399
00:22:54,210 --> 00:22:57,050
been very anxious to meet you. What does
he want of me now? My well -built aunt
400
00:22:57,050 --> 00:22:57,889
from Cleveland?
401
00:22:57,890 --> 00:23:00,550
Will you sit down and hold it? Let the
man talk to you? He'll tell you.
402
00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:07,430
Well, Felix, I just got back from London
and I heard about your problem.
403
00:23:07,630 --> 00:23:08,630
You've come to gloat?
404
00:23:08,750 --> 00:23:10,510
No, I think you're kind of funky.
405
00:23:10,810 --> 00:23:14,050
Even though we won the suit, I don't
force people to publish their work.
406
00:23:14,270 --> 00:23:16,010
We'll find someone else for Miss April.
407
00:23:16,250 --> 00:23:17,390
You're going to give me my picture back?
408
00:23:17,750 --> 00:23:18,750
Mole and all.
409
00:23:19,190 --> 00:23:22,270
Thank you. Thank you. You're a wonderful
man. You look good without a jacket.
410
00:23:23,270 --> 00:23:24,290
Who's going to be Miss April?
411
00:23:24,810 --> 00:23:27,890
I think we're going to use one of
Felix's other pictures. You know, you're
412
00:23:27,890 --> 00:23:29,530
really quite a good photographer.
413
00:23:30,570 --> 00:23:31,590
But a lousy lawyer.
414
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,260
in many respects, you're civilized. I
like that. Can I call you Hap?
415
00:23:39,580 --> 00:23:40,580
Mr. Hap.
416
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:49,680
Gee,
417
00:23:56,900 --> 00:23:58,340
Oscar, that was a great story.
418
00:23:58,800 --> 00:23:59,800
I was totally...
419
00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:07,960
whole sordid episode, huh?
420
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,880
One thing still confuses me. What?
421
00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,940
If Mr. Hefner was so nice to you, why
are you still angry at him?
422
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,560
Well, can't you imagine the
embarrassment I went through?
423
00:24:16,820 --> 00:24:20,180
Two of those jurors called Gloria for
years after we were married.
424
00:24:21,740 --> 00:24:24,140
The judge still writes to her.
425
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,960
Bill, there's one thing that just eats
at me. What's that?
426
00:24:29,180 --> 00:24:33,040
Before I got that negative back from the
magazine, some white baker up there
427
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,080
made ten copies of that picture.
428
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:37,650
I got nine of them back.
429
00:24:39,510 --> 00:24:42,210
I won't rest till I find that tenth one.
34575
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