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1
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:14,260
You got a half a minute to go.
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00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:15,920
Yes, indeed he has.
3
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Hey, Oscar is leading, but Leon is
catching up. That's not fair. He's not
4
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:21,439
the crust.
5
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Leon, eat the crust.
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00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,840
Murray, you got cheese on your nose.
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Five, four, three, two, one.
8
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That's it. Okay. No, no, no, no. Not
bad. What he's chewing now doesn't
9
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Okay, okay. The official results.
10
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:39,880
Oscar wins.
11
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Leon to place.
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Murray shows.
13
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Yes, sore loser.
14
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I want a return match with cottage
cheese. I'm supposed to be on a diet.
15
00:00:48,730 --> 00:00:50,410
And now a bonus for the winner.
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One pizza with everything on it.
17
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I think I'd better frame it. What is
this?
18
00:00:57,810 --> 00:00:59,810
A wide world of gluttony?
19
00:01:01,650 --> 00:01:03,550
Fun's over, fellas. Oh, hi, Felix.
20
00:01:03,850 --> 00:01:05,630
Hey, you really missed it.
21
00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:10,390
You shouldn't have seen Oscar eating up
all those pizzas. I've seen it. I've
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heard it. I've cleaned it up.
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You've got cheese on your nose.
24
00:01:16,030 --> 00:01:17,970
Here. What did you do, bring me a puppy?
25
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A dog wouldn't go out on a night like
this.
26
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Look, fellas, he's paper trained.
27
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What's that?
28
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It's your ex -dinner that I cooked for
you that you didn't come home to eat.
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Please don't do that in front of the
guys. I want the guys to know how this
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food burned to death because you didn't
come home. Boy, that Oscar sure has an
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uppity cook.
32
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No, it's his roommate.
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They're having a 602.
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Domestic squabble. We'd better go.
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I think you're right. So long, Oscar.
Oh, wait a minute, folks. Look, I have
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play. Oh, no, no, no. I don't think the
Galloping Gourmet would like it.
37
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:55,960
So long, Jim.
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You embarrass me like Dad. Coming down
here with a basket like Little Red
39
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Hood. Do you know what time it is?
40
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,400
It is 9 .32.
41
00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:07,439
So what?
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00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,240
You said you'd be home at 6 .30.
43
00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:11,540
So I couldn't make it. What's the big
deal?
44
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:15,840
Does it mean nothing to you that I
slaved to give you a decent meal?
45
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,740
All right, I'll eat it. You can't eat
it. It's burned.
46
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Then why'd you bring it down here? To
teach you a lesson.
47
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,980
I don't need a demonstration meal. I'm
not five years old. Look at this. What
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00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:30,260
this? What, what, what, what, what? I'll
tell you what it is. You're upsetting
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00:02:30,260 --> 00:02:34,180
my stomach. That's what it is. I'm
upsetting the nerve of the man. He eats
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leaning tower of pizza and he blames me.
Oh.
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00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,900
The whole thing's a joke. I just, I'm
crazy. It doesn't matter what I eat or
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00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:45,500
when I eat it. It's when you aggravate
me that it acts up. Forgive me. It's all
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00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:49,420
my fault. It is your fault. I'm to
blame. I'm the scapegoat. All right,
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00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:52,300
on, we'll do things your way. You'll
cook for yourself.
55
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:53,660
You'll wash for yourself.
56
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:57,120
You'll clean up for yourself. You won't
have Felix Unger to push around anymore.
57
00:02:58,680 --> 00:02:59,680
Bon appétit.
58
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,330
They appreciate nothing.
59
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,370
They appreciate nothing and they know
nothing.
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00:04:31,050 --> 00:04:33,450
The Odd Couple was filmed in front of a
live audience.
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A few potato chips, finely ground.
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00:04:44,370 --> 00:04:46,250
Some kidney beans, eh?
63
00:04:46,910 --> 00:04:48,910
A few lima beans.
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A little garbanzo beans.
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A little green peppers, there we go,
some ketchup.
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00:05:00,780 --> 00:05:01,980
Needs something yellow.
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Now that's a nourishing breakfast.
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Hey, that looks dry.
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Chocolate fudgicle.
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00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,200
Had a match to you and you'd go off like
the Hindenburg.
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00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:58,520
Don't you know you can't eat food like
that one after the other? I know. That's
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why I'm going to make a stew out of it.
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Stew.
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Yes. Slava's board.
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Do me a favor. What? At least use a
placemat. I intend to.
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00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:30,260
vitamins will go out? Oh, try it. You'll
love it. I don't want my food playing
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with your food. It won't kill you, you
know. Oh, Oscar, I can't stand this. I
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00:07:35,900 --> 00:07:39,580
can't. It's been on for two weeks now.
We have to talk. Don't start again now.
79
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,560
I'm getting so nervous. I think I'm
getting an ulcer.
80
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,200
It's all that bland food. Will you try a
burrito, please?
81
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:48,880
It's worrying about you. Don't you know
what's going on in your stomach right
82
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:49,880
this minute? No.
83
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,420
Your ulcer is saying it's so hot down
here, when's he going to eat the
84
00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:54,420
fudgesicle?
85
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:58,000
Phoenix, if you didn't aggravate me, I
wouldn't have a talking ulcer.
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00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,360
I feel just great.
87
00:08:00,740 --> 00:08:03,520
I want to say, look out! Here comes the
hot stuff.
88
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I can't watch this. I can't watch.
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00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:11,000
I'm going to eat in my room.
90
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,900
Phoenix, it may surprise you to know
that I know how to take better care of
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00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:16,900
than you do.
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00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,290
When you have an attack and you're lying
there on... Unconscious.
93
00:08:20,510 --> 00:08:23,730
Don't yell for me. I won't. Because
you're the one who'll be sick.
94
00:08:24,010 --> 00:08:25,550
You're the one who always takes all the
pills.
95
00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:17,460
foot is in my way.
96
00:10:17,980 --> 00:10:19,260
I want to get out of here.
97
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,440
See what I can do, but I think you
belong here. Why?
98
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,960
Well, look at yourself. Look at that
pallor.
99
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:30,380
Here comes the cute nurse. Pinch my
teeth. Pinch my teeth. I want to be
100
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:32,680
Here's your lunch, Mr.
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Madison.
102
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,360
Oh, I see we're getting some nice
colors.
103
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Yeah, I feel cute, too.
104
00:10:38,060 --> 00:10:40,000
Listen, what are you doing between
transfusions?
105
00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:43,940
Oh, taking temperatures, fooling around
with the doctors. You know, the usual.
106
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:46,360
Do they actually do that?
107
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,060
Hello, Oscar. How are you feeling?
108
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,600
Hello, Dr. Gordon.
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00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,020
Oh, hello, Unger.
110
00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:54,100
What's with the cups here?
111
00:10:54,540 --> 00:10:57,280
Well, it looks like a joke trick from a
magic shop.
112
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,480
Is this baby food, Doc? I can't believe
it.
113
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:01,700
Eat your food.
114
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:05,760
Good bedside manner, Unger.
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00:11:06,580 --> 00:11:08,460
This chocolate pudding tastes funny.
116
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,500
It should. It's strained liver.
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00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,940
They feed people on Devil's Island
better than this.
118
00:11:16,270 --> 00:11:20,330
I'll eat it. I haven't eaten at all. I'm
starved. I've been up since four.
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00:11:20,730 --> 00:11:24,270
Doctor, may I, uh, may I consult with
you privately?
120
00:11:26,790 --> 00:11:30,970
You can consult with me, but I'm not
going to split my feet.
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00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,130
Dr.
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00:11:40,570 --> 00:11:45,170
Oscar has a marked tenderness in the
upper abdominal region here.
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00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:47,330
Really? You noticed that, too?
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00:11:47,550 --> 00:11:48,550
Yeah.
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And I read his chart.
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00:11:51,230 --> 00:11:53,010
Making rounds now, Unger?
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00:11:54,930 --> 00:11:57,050
You are a natural -born doctor.
128
00:11:58,130 --> 00:12:01,410
Be that as it may, I'd like your
opinion.
129
00:12:01,610 --> 00:12:04,110
Keep your voice down. I don't alarm,
Oscar.
130
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:06,710
What is your prognosis?
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00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:11,990
Well, about ulcers, most of my
colleagues recommend surgery.
132
00:12:12,370 --> 00:12:13,370
Surgery? What?
133
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:20,160
But of course, in Oscar's case, it
wouldn't be necessary. I recommend rest
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00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,160
proper diet.
135
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,460
You think you'd be better off at home
under my supervision?
136
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:29,280
Unger in the world of ulcers, you're
what's known as a carrier.
137
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,560
Of course, if we could find somebody
else to keep him away from the wrong
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00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:38,660
I'd send him home.
139
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,180
I've got an idea. Let me talk.
140
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:44,840
See you later.
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00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:45,940
Oscar. Okay, Doc.
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00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,260
If you're still here.
143
00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:52,300
What do you mean if I'm still here? I
mean, where... Where am I going to be?
144
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,000
You're going to be fine. You're going to
be fine. Now, Oscar.
145
00:12:58,140 --> 00:13:00,740
The doctor and I have had a
consultation. What did he say?
146
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,020
He said... Yeah?
147
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,120
He said I'm a natural -born doctor.
148
00:13:06,430 --> 00:13:08,370
I don't care what he said about you.
What did he say about me? What did he
149
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:12,650
He said it's too much to expect for me
to have to do everything. Again with
150
00:13:12,670 --> 00:13:14,810
I don't want to hear about you. You're
wearing checks. I'm wearing white. Tell
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00:13:14,810 --> 00:13:16,170
me what he said about me, the man in
white.
152
00:13:16,470 --> 00:13:19,390
The prescription is home under certain
conditions.
153
00:13:19,650 --> 00:13:22,990
What conditions? That we hire somebody
to do for you all the things I've always
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00:13:22,990 --> 00:13:25,210
done for you. You're going to hire a
professional pest?
155
00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:51,890
Hello, Mrs. Miller. The agency sent me
about the housekeeper's position and to
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00:13:51,890 --> 00:13:54,150
take care of the sick boy. Come in, Mrs.
Miller.
157
00:13:55,650 --> 00:13:58,110
Oh, boy, Chick, you don't look so good.
158
00:13:58,430 --> 00:13:59,510
Let me see your head.
159
00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:04,650
Yeah, it's a little warm. No, no, no.
Oh, and isn't it wonderful? Look at you,
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00:14:04,730 --> 00:14:06,290
all skin and bones.
161
00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:10,390
No, I'm not the one you'll be taking
care of. I'm not sick. It's my roommate.
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00:14:10,510 --> 00:14:13,530
Come in, come in. Oh, he's skinny like
you, too.
163
00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:17,900
Sit down, Mrs. Miller. I see that, uh...
You're currently employed in a pet
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00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:18,920
shop? In what capacity?
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00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:23,640
What capacity? I feed animals and clean
up after them.
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00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,080
You'll be right at home with Mr.
Madison.
167
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,460
Excuse me, Mrs. Miller.
168
00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:37,920
Hi, the agency sent me over. My name is
Mitsu Hanagi.
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00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:40,700
Hello.
170
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,480
Come in, Miss Hanagi.
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00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,010
Sit down. This is... This is Mrs.
Miller.
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00:14:47,210 --> 00:14:48,310
How do you do? How do you do?
173
00:14:49,370 --> 00:14:50,370
Call me Fanny.
174
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:54,230
Felix, what's with the doorbell ringing
Saturday morning? A sick man? I can't
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00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:55,970
get any sleep. What is going on?
176
00:14:57,170 --> 00:14:58,109
Hello, ladies.
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00:14:58,110 --> 00:15:01,030
Ladies, I'd like you to meet Mr.
Madison. This is Mrs. Miller.
178
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:03,150
Oh, this is the sick one.
179
00:15:03,710 --> 00:15:06,150
Oh, you look terrible, boy chick.
180
00:15:07,470 --> 00:15:08,690
He's burning up.
181
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,010
You should go right back to bed,
darling.
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00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:14,470
Oscar, this is Miss Hanagi. How do you
do?
183
00:15:14,970 --> 00:15:15,970
How do you do?
184
00:15:16,930 --> 00:15:20,270
Yes, can I talk to you for a minute
alone in the kitchen? Yes, excuse me,
185
00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:24,210
ladies. Get the feel of the place,
ladies. Talk to each other. Sit down.
186
00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:32,270
Tell me, sweetheart, how do you make
those radios so small?
187
00:15:35,670 --> 00:15:36,670
Who are those women?
188
00:15:36,930 --> 00:15:38,950
I told you, I'm hiring a nanny for you.
189
00:15:39,650 --> 00:15:43,920
Oh, well, in that case, I'll take the
cute Oriental and... Column A, forget
190
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:44,920
column B.
191
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:50,640
Equal opportunity, employers. We do not
discriminate because of cute. This is
192
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,060
the Oscar Madison blech test.
193
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,239
What are you doing?
194
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:55,540
Now, smear the icebox.
195
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,520
Come on, come on, come on. Put this up
on top. My mother says they never clean
196
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,620
on top. That's very good. Now wash your
hands.
197
00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:05,800
Throw the cigar on the floor. When
you're finished, dry your hands on the
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00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,000
curtain the way you usually do.
199
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:16,559
Now, Mrs.
200
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,340
Miller, look around you. This kitchen
looks the way it usually does after Mr.
201
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,000
Madison's been in it for two minutes.
202
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,260
Now, Mrs. Miller, find the filth.
203
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:32,580
In other words, what is wrong with this
picture?
204
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:35,500
Okay,
205
00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:37,140
okay.
206
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:41,180
We see what's wrong with this picture.
207
00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:09,060
work in a house where such a clean, good
boy lives, Mr. Long.
208
00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:14,319
And you, my darling, you would be the
sloppy son I never had.
209
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:18,180
Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Now sit down.
We'll be with you in a moment. Just take
210
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:19,180
your time. Okay.
211
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:20,819
Thank you, thank you.
212
00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:23,260
Is that a real pro?
213
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,520
Yeah, for cleaning, yeah.
214
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,079
Equal opportunity. Okay, mess up the
kitchen again.
215
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,040
Now assuming you work for us.
216
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,200
Thank you very much.
217
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,500
Okay. You wasted a lot of filth. I want
Miss Hinoki and that's it.
218
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,060
This is not the dating game.
219
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,920
Then we gotta find somebody we both
want.
220
00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:39,940
There must be someone in this world
who's a perfect nanny for you.
221
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:53,360
What can I do for you?
222
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,140
I'm your new housekeeper.
223
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,920
Claire Frost from Bayonne, New Jersey.
224
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,940
First thing you can do for me is take
your feet off the coffee table.
225
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,080
You're my nanny?
226
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:11,680
Mr. Unger met me at the employment
agency this morning. Hired me on the
227
00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:15,540
Made a great impression on me. Yeah,
well, he makes a great impression on
228
00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:16,540
everybody.
229
00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:17,620
Oh, that robe.
230
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,540
When was the last time it was washed?
231
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:23,080
I don't know. I think it was the Ali
-Frazier fight.
232
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,920
Well, take it off and I'll boil it. No,
Mrs. Frost. Ms.
233
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:30,580
Ms. Frost.
234
00:19:32,820 --> 00:19:37,180
I don't think this arrangement is going
to work. Mr. Unger hired me and he's the
235
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:38,500
only one who can fire me.
236
00:19:38,780 --> 00:19:40,440
So give me that robe.
237
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,060
Cigar?
238
00:19:49,669 --> 00:19:50,669
No more.
239
00:19:51,130 --> 00:19:52,770
Say goodbye to the cigar.
240
00:19:55,910 --> 00:19:57,030
Bye -bye, cigar.
241
00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:00,090
Now, I'll get your breakfast.
242
00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:02,970
I'm on a bland diet, so I'll have corned
beef hash and a couple of fried eggs,
243
00:20:03,050 --> 00:20:04,050
okay?
244
00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:05,190
That's funny.
245
00:20:05,390 --> 00:20:08,550
You'll have milk toast and a large bowl
of oatmeal.
246
00:20:09,370 --> 00:20:10,630
Now, where can I freshen up?
247
00:20:10,890 --> 00:20:12,890
Down the hall, first door to your room.
Thank you.
248
00:20:20,780 --> 00:20:21,980
Yeah, she's here.
249
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,440
She's in your room.
250
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:26,940
No, she's in my room.
251
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:55,100
The hunger instinct strikes again.
252
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,160
Right to the heart of fun.
253
00:20:57,980 --> 00:21:01,840
When you said you were going to get me a
nanny, be a nice, sweet little lady
254
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,820
with little red cheeks, you have an
umbrella, little
255
00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:06,620
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
256
00:21:08,740 --> 00:21:10,620
Instead, I got the beast of Bayonne.
257
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:13,760
Don't swipe your suit.
258
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,680
Don't slouch. Sit up straight.
259
00:21:20,650 --> 00:21:21,870
She's Miss Right.
260
00:21:22,090 --> 00:21:23,090
Miss Right.
261
00:21:25,190 --> 00:21:26,190
Where is she?
262
00:21:26,850 --> 00:21:31,850
Disinfecting the bathroom. Oh, boy. Oh,
boy. And does your bathroom need it?
263
00:21:32,210 --> 00:21:35,110
Not my bathroom. She's disinfecting your
bathroom.
264
00:21:35,810 --> 00:21:38,210
How come? She boiled my room.
265
00:21:39,270 --> 00:21:41,250
It's still wet. I can't use it until
tomorrow.
266
00:21:42,090 --> 00:21:46,930
Good evening, Mr. Unger. Have I got a
sparkling and twinkling bathroom for
267
00:21:50,750 --> 00:21:51,770
She's a treasure.
268
00:21:52,130 --> 00:21:54,790
What treasure? You know what she's going
to do? She's going to shampoo the rugs.
269
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:57,910
She's pure gold.
270
00:21:58,130 --> 00:22:00,410
Don't you understand? If she shampoos
the rugs, you're going to have to fly me
271
00:22:00,410 --> 00:22:01,810
around this apartment like Peter Pan.
272
00:22:03,070 --> 00:22:04,170
I want to get rid of her.
273
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:09,290
No, sirree, not on your life. You agreed
to abide by my decision. And you agreed
274
00:22:09,290 --> 00:22:11,870
you were going to try to help my Elsa.
It's been acting up ever since she's
275
00:22:11,870 --> 00:22:15,370
here. Venus, don't you feel the tension
in this apartment since Frosty the Snow
276
00:22:15,370 --> 00:22:16,370
Woman got here?
277
00:22:17,710 --> 00:22:19,450
The tension is in your imagination.
278
00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:21,310
No, it's not. The tension is in my
stomach.
279
00:22:23,090 --> 00:22:26,010
We're lucky to have her, don't you know
that? I'm keeping out of your way.
280
00:22:26,250 --> 00:22:28,890
I'm going out tonight with Miriam for
dinner. What are you going to do?
281
00:22:28,890 --> 00:22:30,450
a great football game, one I'd like to
watch.
282
00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:33,250
Drop it!
283
00:22:35,970 --> 00:22:40,510
What do you think you're doing, Mr.
Unker? I was just seasoning the soup.
284
00:22:40,510 --> 00:22:41,349
little bland.
285
00:22:41,350 --> 00:22:43,330
Well, we're treating an ulcer here.
286
00:22:43,650 --> 00:22:44,650
You're right, you're right, right.
287
00:22:45,450 --> 00:22:46,369
It's perfect.
288
00:22:46,370 --> 00:22:49,220
And I don't... think it's the cleanest
thing in the world to put the spoon back
289
00:22:49,220 --> 00:22:50,620
in the pot after spitting your mouth.
290
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:55,540
You're right. I always do that. I never
think that. Well, that's my job. That's
291
00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:59,260
what you hired me for. That's right. Now
you go and you have a nice evening.
292
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:02,760
Take over. When you come home, be sure
you step on the papers because I'm going
293
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:03,760
to shampoo the rug.
294
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,660
Oh, about that.
295
00:23:06,060 --> 00:23:09,020
I wonder if that could wait till
tomorrow. You see, Mr. Madison's a
296
00:23:09,020 --> 00:23:11,340
writer. He wants to watch a football
game on TV tonight.
297
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,280
Mr. Unger, who's the housekeeper here,
you or me?
298
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:21,130
Well, You are, of course, but Mr.
Madison's a patient. I guess we'll just,
299
00:23:21,130 --> 00:23:22,130
have to humor him.
300
00:23:22,190 --> 00:23:25,370
I'm not Soupy Sales, and this is not the
comedy hour.
301
00:23:28,250 --> 00:23:31,330
You do have a way of filling a room with
tension, don't you?
302
00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:35,030
Mr. Anger, I know your type. You want to
be light.
303
00:23:35,930 --> 00:23:38,210
But in my job, you can't be soft.
304
00:23:38,650 --> 00:23:40,430
You have to wield an iron mop.
305
00:23:41,580 --> 00:23:43,940
Miss Frost, I am no powder puff.
306
00:23:44,220 --> 00:23:46,100
Appearances to the contrary not
withstand.
307
00:23:47,980 --> 00:23:50,340
He's going to watch the ball game. I'm
putting my foot down.
308
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,060
Do you think you're any match for me?
309
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,900
No, but I'm putting my foot down.
310
00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:04,120
When I left the army, I made a promise
to myself.
311
00:24:04,940 --> 00:24:09,720
I said, Frosty, there can only be one
top kick in any outfit.
312
00:24:10,379 --> 00:24:11,379
That's me.
313
00:24:11,580 --> 00:24:13,000
I was a lieutenant in the army.
314
00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:15,520
I was a colonel.
315
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,200
Talk about your temperamental cleanness.
316
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:27,840
So long, Felix.
317
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,139
Where are you going?
318
00:24:29,140 --> 00:24:30,140
Back to the hospital.
319
00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:34,840
No, no, no. Stay in your own home. Enjoy
it. I got rid of the jailer. I know,
320
00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:37,880
and I appreciate it, but the warden is
still here.
321
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:39,560
You're right.
322
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,420
Go on, go on. I guess you're right.
323
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,900
I only upset you. I'll take you down
there. No, you don't have to. I'll get a
324
00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:48,340
cat. No, no, I'll get a cat for you. No,
the doorman will get the cat for you.
325
00:24:48,340 --> 00:24:49,920
Let me do it. The doorman will get the
cat for you!
326
00:24:57,900 --> 00:24:58,900
Don't worry about anything.
327
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:00,900
I'll be over there first thing in the
morning.
328
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,960
This would be a perfect time to shampoo
the rugs.
329
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,079
What are we having for dinner?
330
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:21,080
Rump roast.
26852
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