Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:15,600
There you go, Rogers.
2
00:00:16,460 --> 00:00:17,460
All right, champ.
3
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:22,240
Oh, a little holiday to Greece, eh?
4
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,660
Yeah, I think it'd be an operative word.
5
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,020
That's very near the place that I went
about four years ago.
6
00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:29,670
Horrible, it was.
7
00:00:31,830 --> 00:00:33,330
Mosquitoes the size of sparrows.
8
00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:35,250
They showed up and rode off.
9
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,310
And the place we stayed at, God dear.
10
00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:42,650
The room was never swept, the food was
diabolical, and the sheets, they weren't
11
00:00:42,650 --> 00:00:44,130
changed from one week to the next.
12
00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:45,970
You should have gone self -catering.
13
00:00:46,170 --> 00:00:47,170
We did.
14
00:00:48,650 --> 00:00:52,850
I went and got a tummy bug. Dash into
the car every five minutes.
15
00:00:53,150 --> 00:00:57,130
Yeah, all right, I'll get a picture. And
then Raquel was frightened that Damien
16
00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:58,130
might catch it.
17
00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:01,950
So, when are you thinking of booking
your holiday, then?
18
00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:05,129
Yeah, we're not going to book the
holiday.
19
00:01:05,730 --> 00:01:08,970
Me and Cass sat down last night and
worked out our finances.
20
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:10,770
Well, what's happened to your wages?
21
00:01:11,090 --> 00:01:12,090
My wages?
22
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:15,210
I usually blow them on a doner kebab on
the way home.
23
00:01:15,650 --> 00:01:19,750
I meant your combined wages, didn't I? I
mean, Cassandra, like she earns well,
24
00:01:19,790 --> 00:01:20,449
doesn't she?
25
00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:24,690
We've got to pay the mortgage on our
flat, the loan on Cassie's car, rates,
26
00:01:24,690 --> 00:01:27,710
insurance, pensions, heating, food and
clothing.
27
00:01:28,050 --> 00:01:29,450
That's what I mean. You waste it.
28
00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:33,370
I had a thought last week.
29
00:01:33,950 --> 00:01:36,770
Oh, you should have said something. We'd
have had a little celebration.
30
00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:38,790
Don't you get socky with me, Rodney.
31
00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:41,690
This financial situation ain't all my
doing.
32
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:46,570
But I have thought of a way of bringing
some serious money in.
33
00:01:48,450 --> 00:01:49,450
Modelling.
34
00:01:51,030 --> 00:01:52,030
Modelling?
35
00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:54,630
Photographic modelling.
36
00:01:55,530 --> 00:01:58,410
Clothes, you know, that sort of thing,
for magazines and maybe, well, even the
37
00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:59,410
telly.
38
00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:03,540
Hmm? No, not us two, you dipstick.
39
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,160
Albert?
40
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,200
Oh, good.
41
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,479
Look at that old duffer bee. Captain
Birdseye's stuntman.
42
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,240
What do you think, then?
43
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:13,640
Premium.
44
00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,040
I don't think that's a very good idea,
though.
45
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:20,439
Why not?
46
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:24,300
He's a good -looking kid, and these
model agencies, they're desperate for
47
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:26,880
chavvies to do adverts, like Smarties
and all that.
48
00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:28,400
Just think, brothers.
49
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:34,420
This time next year, his little face
could be on every television set in the
50
00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:35,420
country.
51
00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:41,780
I don't think it's right, you know,
parents pushing kids into show business.
52
00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:44,520
I wouldn't be pushing him, would I? It's
in his blood.
53
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,120
I mean, you know, look at Raquel.
54
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,520
What about her? Well, she was in show
business, wasn't she? She was a stripper
55
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:51,520
grand.
56
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,900
Once, Rodney, just once.
57
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:58,300
What I'm trying to say is it's unfair to
force Damien to do something he might
58
00:02:58,300 --> 00:02:59,159
not want to do.
59
00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:03,600
When he's older, he might choose to take
up modelling. He might even enjoy it,
60
00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:04,900
but it would be his decision.
61
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,560
You think the world of that little boy,
don't you?
62
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,580
Well... Yeah, I can tell that you do,
because I can see it in your eyes.
63
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,440
Yes. There you are, you lucky Damien.
64
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:22,100
You've got an uncle who loves you nearly
as much as your mummy and daddy.
65
00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:28,270
So, anyway, we're still stuck in some
cockless situation, aren't we? You two
66
00:03:28,270 --> 00:03:29,410
don't know when you're well off.
67
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,730
Oh, God.
68
00:03:31,310 --> 00:03:35,230
During the war, I saw real hardship.
69
00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:39,770
Refugees, entire families had lost their
homes and didn't know where their
70
00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:41,390
babies' next meal were coming from.
71
00:03:42,070 --> 00:03:43,430
Same thing's happening today.
72
00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:45,630
You think you're hard up, Rodney.
73
00:03:46,270 --> 00:03:47,750
Well, think about Africa.
74
00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:51,290
What are you talking about? I mean, if
he can't afford to go to Greece, he
75
00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:52,570
certainly can't afford to go to Africa.
76
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,500
Yeah, I think he means, you know, all
the starving people in Africa.
77
00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:00,380
Oh, yeah.
78
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:07,460
Yeah, that's right. We never really
think about that, do we? Well, once a
79
00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:08,460
when it comes on the telly.
80
00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:14,320
I mean, well, you know, we think we're
hard up, but we've got a roof over our
81
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,120
head, don't we, and we eat every day.
82
00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:19,579
It's what I've always said, wasn't it?
83
00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:22,960
One man's floor is another man's
ceiling.
84
00:04:24,489 --> 00:04:28,330
We couldn't help them people back in
1941 because we didn't have anything
85
00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:30,910
ourselves. The times have changed.
86
00:04:32,610 --> 00:04:37,470
I'd love to be able to just open my door
and walk back into 1941.
87
00:04:38,390 --> 00:04:41,190
How can anyone just walk back to 1941?
88
00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:42,610
That's stupid.
89
00:04:44,270 --> 00:04:46,550
Yeah, all right. Good night, sweetheart.
90
00:04:47,570 --> 00:04:48,570
Yeah.
91
00:04:49,970 --> 00:04:51,550
Stupid Albert.
92
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,040
I mean, I'm not a detective inspector,
but even I can work that one out.
93
00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:06,140
Well, to be perfectly honest with you,
we don't know how to end
94
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,140
this thing.
95
00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:08,720
Yeah, you see, we conned you.
96
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:13,320
This isn't really only fools and horses.
We are working for comic relief.
97
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:19,240
And what we would like to say at this
specific moment in time is give us some
98
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:20,240
dosh.
99
00:05:20,670 --> 00:05:24,450
They may lend it to Comic Relief, not
literally to us. Leave this to me, will
100
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:25,450
you, Rodney?
101
00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:28,170
You could start Chatter Relief.
102
00:05:29,450 --> 00:05:31,750
Everything would go towards charity.
103
00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:34,030
Yes, but would any of it actually
arrive?
104
00:05:36,810 --> 00:05:40,970
For the last ten years, Comic Relief has
been helping the poorest people in
105
00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:44,010
Africa. But they also support projects
all over the UK.
106
00:05:44,530 --> 00:05:47,630
They're helping old people who are
living below the poverty line.
107
00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:51,650
Yeah, homeless youngsters living on the
street or whose lives have been buggered
108
00:05:51,650 --> 00:05:55,510
up by drugs or booze. Women and little
ones who are being hurt by people who
109
00:05:55,510 --> 00:06:00,050
drink too much and loads and loads of
other brilliant projects right across
110
00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:01,050
plectrum.
111
00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:03,790
Ooh, may we.
112
00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:10,310
And, unlike Del's Ukrainian compact disc
player, it works.
113
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:14,530
Tonight, we have the chance to improve
someone else's life.
114
00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:16,110
So, please.
115
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,240
Go to your bank or your building
society.
116
00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:23,780
Yeah. Or give us a bell on 0345 460 460.
117
00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:28,500
And give us some dosh. You know it makes
sense.
9562
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof