All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s10e17_seems_like_gold_times

Hold it! Hold it!

Jeez.

Could you make some room, please?

Is it possible to cram any more people
in here? I'm sure we're over the weight

limit, sir.

God help us. Are you through?

No, not yet.

Um, ma 'am, did you put on enough Estee
Lauder this morning? Not only can I

smell your perfume, I can see it.

Could you push 12, please? The exercise
would do you good.

Someone press that button. She's sucking
out all the oxygen.

I know that voice.

Hey, lady.

Lady, will you watch it? That's an
umbrella, not a thermometer.

Hey. Jerry?

Jerry, go as I live and breathe. Hey,
Brown.

What's it been, like six years?

Oh, God. So how's Germany been treating
you? Well, nothing could be sweeter than

to be a Jew in Germany. I've got the
number one dog show. I'm driving a

with a personal license plate that reads
Juden 1.

Wow. Who digs? Well, it's about time.

Oh, we like them. Our own little window
on the world.

Yeah.

Hey, Jerry, it's great to see you. How
come you're in Washington?

Oh, a little business, and as mouth
-watering as German food is, I'm

homesick for one of Phil's big, greasy
cheeseburgers.

Want to join me? I'm still a big eater.
I have an expense account now.

Yeah, well, I hate to break it to you,
but Phil's no longer takes Deutschmarks.

That's okay. I'll put it all on my
master race card.

Oh, sure.

Jerry Gold.

Jerry Gold.

Jerry Gold.

Oh, I missed you, too.

So, what's new in your life? Still
married, or did your husband decide he

some intellectual stimulation?

Why are you here, anyway?

Who's watching Gates of Hell?

Hey, guys, look who came to visit.

Long time, Fontana.

Hey, Terry.

Still the weakest grip I have ever felt.

I guess you never got around to using
that little squeezy thing I gave you,

And dial, you big old wax figure, you.
Give me a hug.

Jerry.

Now, you see, this is a grip. Oh, oh.

So what can I do to town? Well, I'm
just, you know, catching up with some

friends. So I guess it's going to be a
short visit, huh?

Well, don't be surprised if when you
return to Germany, the wall is back up

higher and electrified.

All right, I'm done.

Well, Dial, let me guess what is new in
your life, huh?

Nada, am I right?

For your information, Buster, plenty has
changed in my life.

For one, Doris and I are separate.

Really? So she came out of her coma?

Boy, this is great, isn't it? Just like
old times.

What about you, Fontana? How's life for
you? Well, for your information, I am

dating a beautiful woman named
Elizabeth, and we're very happy. Thank

Really? Well, put her there.

Nice to meet you, Elizabeth.

Okay,

enough of these fond

reminiscences. Come on, Gold, I want to
show you my new office. Good morning,

all.

Well, hello. Hello there.

Okay, this is Jerry Gold. I know who he
is. Jerry Gold, I love your talk show. I

get it on my dish at 4 a .m.

I'm Kay Carter Shepley, executive
producer of FYI. Nice to meet you, Kay.

Even you have a better grip than
Fontana.

Okay,

so there's a sexual history, am I right?

Sexual but fraught with deep political
differences.

He's a jerk, if that's what you mean.
What Murphy's on that TV shock jock,

never understand.

Well, I think he could be really good
for Murphy.

What exactly don't you like about him?

Where do I start?

The rudeness. The self -absorption. The
uncanny ability to just walk into a room

and take it over.

Are we talking about Murphy or Jerry?

As far as I can see, they're perfect for
each other.

I can't believe you walked back into her
life now. She's at her most vulnerable.

Hey. I don't have anything on my
schedule, so Jerry and I are going to

hockey. I'll see you guys tomorrow.

Listen, it was great seeing you again,
wasn't it?

See ya.

Wow, Brown, I love what you did with the
place.

I haven't done anything. It's the way it
always was.

Really?

Is that fireplace always there?

Yeah, ever since 1847.

Well, you're doing a good job with it.

Oh, and...

Here's that sweet little girl of yours.

It's a boy, Jer.

Well, good, because she's looking a
little butch.

So, tell me, Brown, how are you doing?

I have good days, and I have not -so
-good days. But today's a good day.

you look good. Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah, you look beautiful.

Even with this thing on my head?

I like it. And do me a favor. Save that
wig hat, because by the time your hair

grows out, mine will be gone.

And I've often wondered what I'd look
like as a frosted blonde.

I'll tell you who you'd look like. Nancy
Sinatra.

Really? Well, thanks.

So, did you... Did you think you were
going to die?

Well, it crossed my mind.

I mean, to tell you the truth, it still
does.

Usually after I've walked down a 7
-Eleven hot dog.

You know, I've got to get you over to
Germany. There's this little place off

Autobahn in Baden -Baden or some kraut
name like that.

They make the world's greatest hot dogs.
I mean, you would love them. You bite

them to them and they snap. They're so
delicious. You get a pint of beer.

You know, it just doesn't get any
better.

You don't get any better, Jerry. It's so
good to see you.

Did it hurt?

What? You know, when you had your
operation.

Yeah, it hurt, but it doesn't hurt now.

I hate to think of anything hurting you.

Did it leave a scar?

Just a little one. You'd barely notice.

It's just a teeny scar, is what it is.
It's just teeny tiny.

Do you want to see? No, no, that's okay.

Really, it's okay. In the last few
months, I've been opening my shirt for

doctor, nurse, technician, and once for
a guy who turned out to be a well

-dressed pharmaceutical salesman.

He was the most complimentary.

Plus, I got a ballpoint pen that says
Prozac.

Well, you know, I don't know if I want
to see a scar that you're showing to

everybody. I always thought I was
special.

No, you'll see. It's nothing.

Okay, I'll take a look. Just a peek.

I don't know if the wig enhanced the
experience for me, but it

certainly didn't hurt.

I had a lovely time.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm having a smoke.

Come on, Murphy. You know, the bedroom
after sex.

There's got to be one place you haven't
declared smoke -free.

That's right. You're European now. So
have you stopped seeing a dentist, too?

Why are you holding your cigarette like
that?

Like what?

Like you're in a foxhole with Sergeant
Schultz.

All right, all right. I'll put it out.

Is, uh, potpourri flammable?

Oh, no.

It's just dry twigs. Go ahead.

Jerry,

there's just something I want to say,
you know, just so there's no

misunderstanding. Yeah?

This was really nice, you know.

Well, it was great, in fact. I just
don't want you to get the impression

this is going to become some long -term
serious relationship because, you know,

it's not who I am.

No, no, I feel exactly the same way. Oh.

Oh, great.

So we're on the same page.

Absolutely.

Besides,

I'm getting married this weekend.

Oh, come on. Come on, Brown. No, no.
Brown, please.

I've got to hand it to you, Gold. This
sure beats the hell out of those

impersonal wedding announcements you get
in the mail.

Now, look, I was going to tell you right
after I touched your breast.

Let's just dissect that sentence and see
if we can't find that hidden flaw in

logic. Oh, come on. Oh, no.

Look, you said yourself that you didn't
want a serious relationship.

Come on, it's always been this way with
us. You know, we're friends.

Friends who, you know, every once in a
while... Every once in a while what? Get

together and share a hoagie?

regional food reference, but yes.

Now, look, look, this is not why I came
here.

I mean, this just sort of happened.

I came here to ask you if you'd be my
best man.

Best man?

You sleep with me and ask me to be your
best man?

Well, if you sleep with the flower girl,
you go to jail.

Look, there is no one in the world
closer to me than you.

And you know how much I care for you. I
mean, what do you think that whole seven

minutes was about up there?

Six and a half of that was me.

Look, please, Murphy, will you stand
next to me at the altar?

Please.

Well, tell me about the lucky gal, Jer.

Clearly she's not a smart woman.

Oh, I can't wait till you meet Elka.

Elka?

She's German.

Don't look at me like that. Her parents
are farmers.

So we're at the little far line now,
waiting patiently on the Rhine, carving

cuckoo clock?

No, she's at Bloomingdale's being fitted
for a wedding gown.

She's here?

She's here?

Bloomingdale's? Well, you and I... We're
sharing hoagies.

Do you have any idea how wrong that is?

We are having sex and your wife -to -be
is across town buying a wedding dress?

How many commandments do you think we
broke up there in those seven minutes?

Why not just worship a golden cow? All
right, all right, all right.

Listen, I didn't plan this.

It just happened like spontaneous
combustion.

I mean, we're like a firework shack in
the middle of July, and it's hot.

And it's raining gasoline?

Yeah, like that.

Oh, come on, Brown.

Please, will you be my best man?

Well,

what can I say?

Traditionally, it's the best man's job
to get the groom laid. And doggone if I

haven't come through with one card.

Frank, I'll be in editing if anyone
needs me. Oh, too bad. You're going to

Elizabeth. I'm taking her out to lunch.

She's coming here?

Oh, then editing can wait.

I'm going to stick around and finally
meet her. Oh, great. You know, because

Elizabeth is just unbelievably special.
Don't go anywhere. I'm just going to

slap on a little aftershave for
Elizabeth. I'll be right back.

Brown, I'm going to pay you back for the
tuxes. I'm good for it. Yeah, so much

for your Bank of Dresden credit card.

You know, I've seen them cut people's
credit cards in half before, but I've

never actually seen them set one on
fire.

Jerry!

Congratulations!

I hear you're getting married, and not
to Murphy.

You're not even marrying a United States
citizen.

Yep, it's a great day for the red,
white, and blue.

Look, everyone, it's Stonehenge!

Murphy, I'm going to use your phone and
call a florist.

Jim, Jerry has low blood sugar. I hope
it keeps dropping.

Don't you guys go anywhere. Frank's
Elizabeth is coming.

Oh, yes. Oh, after all this time, you
mean we're finally going to meet the

elusive Elizabeth?

Murphy, look.

It's Elizabeth.

She's gorgeous.

Boy, I've got to hand it to Frank for a
guy who spent so much time trying to

find the perfect woman. It just goes to
show good things do happen to good

people. Excuse me, I'm looking for Jerry
Gold.

I'm his fiancée.

And sometimes they don't.

Elka? Yeah?

Oh, Elka, it's very nice to meet you.
I'm a friend of Jerry's, Murphy Brown.

Yeah, Murphy. Jerry told me all about
you.

Oh. Let me introduce Corky Sherwood and
Jim Dial. Hello.

Yes, it's nice to meet you. Best of
luck. Really.

I guess you're probably here to see
Jerry, so I'll just go get him. No, no,

I want to get to know you. We can talk.

Jerry, Elk is here.

It's a little awkward, yeah?

Awkward? No, no. I mean, you're the
bride. I'm the best man. There's no

to be awkward.

Murphy, I know about you and Jerry.

You do?

Yeah, I know that you slept together.

Well, you're right. It's awkward. Jerry!

And I think it was no big deal.

Yeah. Well, it was no big deal. It was
years ago.

In fact, I think it went Adam and Eve,
me and Jerry, and then the Crusades.

You know,

Brown, this is two -thirds of a great
fantasy.

He is so vulgar, isn't he?

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Frank and I are heading out to
Chinatown. We're going to eat until we

sweat. Any papers?

Jerry, you're back to visit Murphy.

Isn't that great?

Funny how they're drawn to each other.

You and Murphy should come along with
us. Okay. This is Elka, Jerry's fiancée.

Fiancée?

Well, that just jams the crapper.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

All right, who's eating? Let's go.

waiting for your girl. Oh, well, she can
make it. Something about a cracked

filling.

What? Frank, are we ever gonna meet this
girl? Wait a minute, wait a minute,

wait a minute. A cracked filling? Now,
that is a new one, Fontana.

It used to be when your dates didn't
show up, they were just overinflated.

Now, you know, I would like you to meet
my, in the flesh, real fiancé.

Really? Hello.

Hello.

You know, uh...

Mono to mono, Fontana, the thing that I
absolutely love about Elke is that after

sex, she just rolls over and goes right
to sleep.

She doesn't even want to be held.

I hate you.

You know, Kay, Elke's from Germany.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Uh -huh.

Best to be held in the air, Augen auf
der Spitze.

Then he's been high for a long time.

Oh, so sagen Sie.

Brücken Sie dort vor.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Is that Jerry Deutsch?

Nein.

Wunderbar.

Speak English. Speak English. Come on,
Elke. We've got to meet that minister.

Goodbye, everyone. I will see you in the
church. And the wedding is Saturday.

Fontana, my best man, will fill you in.
I want everyone there at one o 'clock.

Hey, can I bring Elizabeth?

Oh, sure. You bring Elizabeth. I'll
bring the Pope.

Murphy?

Well, how did you let this one get away?
Get away? I barely escaped.

Oh, come on. I see the way you look at
one another.

Does it bother you that they're getting
married?

Kate, believe me, Jerry Gold is not the
one that got away.

So there's nothing between you guys?

We're just old friends.

Oh, well, then that certainly explains
why he came all the way to Washington to

see you before he got married.

I'm sure he had his reasons, and I
really think you're reaching.

Huh.

Because I would have bet that you two
ended up in bed yesterday.

My mistake.

One last chance.

Do you want to tell me the truth, or do
you just want me to know it?

Mom.

Good Lord, Frank, what happened to you?

I don't know, Jim. Could it be that it's
raining outside and this FYI

umbrella... That K got us all for
Christmas just happened to break after

seconds. It was a parasol.

It's not meant for the rain.

Oh, gee, you know, what a great
Christmas gift. I mean, you know, what

can have too many parasols?

Where's Elizabeth, Frank?

Oh, well, she can't make it. But you
know what? She's cooking me a big, big

lasagna dinner tonight.

It's going to be great.

Is that right, Frank?

Mm -hmm. Yeah, because you know why? I
love garlic, and she loves garlic.

And the two of us are just going to be
at home. We're going to light a little

fire, open a bottle of Chianti. Frank,
stop it.

We all know there's no Elizabeth.

And we know how hard it is for a single
man in his 50s to admit that there's no

Elizabeth in his life.

Wait a second, Corky. You saw Elizabeth
at that marathon that we both ran in.

You pointed in the general direction of
a hundred women, Frank.

Look at this. Look at my neck. Look at
this. I love bite. Look at this here.

Right here. Hickey.

It starts with pinching yourself on the
neck and then it ends with you doing one

of these in the doorway.

You know, when I was a kid, I used to
always get nosebleeds whenever it

Why? Because it was so cold out?

Yeah, that. And when it's cold out, the
other kids are less receptive to

criticism.

What's the matter, Brown?

Stupid tie. I can't get it straight.

Here, here, here.

That's easy. There you go.

So, are you nervous?

Nervous? Are you?

Oh, great.

Lightning. Now, that has got to be a bad
sign.

Let's just cut this whole thing off.
What is going on with you? Oh, nothing.

You're having second thoughts, aren't
you?

Me, having second thoughts? Hell, I
barely have first thoughts.

You came back to Washington, isn't it?
You wanted me to tell you to call this

whole thing off.

You are so wrong.

Oh, yeah? Well, then why didn't you get
married in Germany? Why'd you come all

the way back here?

Look, I can get married wherever I...
You know, I'll tell you what's really

going on here, Brown.

You are having a problem with me getting
married.

Me? Believe me, no one wants to see you
get married more than I do.

Okay. Then it's showtime.

Yeah, showtime.

Look, that's okay. We don't need lights.
Right. We don't need lights. We don't

need music. Come on, Alka. Let's go.
Schnell, Schnell.

Everybody. Here comes the bride.

Da, da, da.

Da, da, da.

All right, Father.

Take it away.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
today to join this man and this woman in

holy matrimony.

If there is anyone who feels that they
should not be wed, let them speak now or

forever hold their peace.

All quiet on the Western Front, Father.

Thanks for the help.

Elke Hasengut, sir?

Do you take this man to be your lawfully
wedded husband?

Yeah.

And do you, Jerry Gold, take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Oh, Maya.

I'm getting a nosebleed. What?

Oh, it's a great party, huh?

Come on, Brown. I want you to help me
here.

A nosebleed?

What's the matter, gold chickening out?

Yeah. Oh, don't give me that. You know,
you act like you're so... Look, I told

you. You were right.

Oh, Brown, I don't know if I should be
doing this.

Are you nuts? You're in the middle of a
wedding. I know. Your wedding. I know, I

know. It just hit me.

After I say I do, we lose each other,
you and me.

Yeah.

You know, we had a pretty good thing.

It was easy, comfortable, it was safe.

Yeah.

Safe.

But you know, Jared, there's no such
thing as safe.

Even if you're standing still, there's
no such thing.

What I went through the last six months
taught me that. It also taught me

there's no such thing as standing still.
So if you love her, you've got to do

this.

The question is, do you love her?

I don't know.

What is love anyway?

Is it feeling?

Comfortable enough to be making love and
then stop to hear who's leaving you a

message on the answering machine?

Or that she still wants you after she's
seen you naked in broad daylight?

Or that you buy her flowers just because
it's Tuesday?

I think so.

Well, then I love her.

But this is so crazy. I mean, here we
are, the two of us, at a church.

And it's not our wedding.

Yeah, but you know what would happen?

Two weeks after we'd tie the knot, one
of us would be carrying the other's body

parts in a bag down to the freezer.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Your zipper's down.

So is yours.