All language subtitles for mary_tyler_moore_s02e11_the_six-and-a-half_year_itch

Who can turn the world on with her
smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it, love is all I

to waste it. You can never tell, why
don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

come to a standstill until the
sanitation workers and the city come to

a new wage hike.

Spokesman for the striking workers said
that unless their demands are met, they

will continue to refuse to collect the
refuse.

Meanwhile, the mess mounts.

Isn't that awful?

Yeah, I sure hope it doesn't happen
here.

I was talking about Ted.

Till tomorrow at six, this is Ted Baxter
saying...

back to saying good night and good news.

What did you say on my calendar here?
You wrote important and then made some

squiggly lines after it. Oh, yeah, I
must have been in a hurry. I wrote it in

shorthand. You have the Mayor's
Commission meeting on crime and violence

at 8. Ah, I'm glad I caught that. If I
missed that meeting, they'd kill me.

How do you qualify as an expert on
violence, Lou?

Wait till Ted gets here. I'll show you.

Mr. Grant, don't forget tomorrow night
you have the Twin Lakes Homeowners

Association meeting.

I just bought a couple of tickets to a
big fundraising banquet.

I gotta go to that homeowner's meeting.
It's being held at my house.

Murray, you wanna take these tickets and
go to my place? Nah, gee, I'd love to,

Lou, but I'm on the health and welfare
committee of my union and we have a

meeting tomorrow night.

Well, uh, Mr. Grant, if you can't get
anybody else, I'll be happy to go to the

banquet in your place.

Thanks anyway, Mary. Well, no, I...

The Big Brothers of America stag band.

Well, thanks, Mr. Graham, but I have
something else to do.

Oh, too bad you can't go, Mary. You'd be
a big hit there. I'll go.

Where is it I'm going to be a big hit,
Lou? The Big Brothers of America

Oh, really? I didn't know we had a club.
Wait till my little brother hears about

this. No, Ted, you don't get the idea.

Yeah, you volunteer to be a big brother
to an underprivileged kid.

It's great.

You take him to ball games and dinner.
and just be his pal.

I don't think I'd be any good at that. I
can't even do that with my real

brother. I couldn't go anyway. It's
Tuesday night. What's so special about

Tuesday night?

I volunteer to entertain the troops at
local armed forces bases.

Oh, gee, Ted, that's very nice.

What is it that you do?

A little comedy act.

Yeah, he's going to read the news to
them and break them up.

Well, they asked me to come.

Just couldn't refuse, right, Ted?

Right. I know I shouldn't ask this, but
just what kind of a comedy act do you

do? I do a ventriloquist act. No
kidding?

Mm -hmm. Whose knee do you sit on?

Now, I don't know how all of you find
the time to do all these things in

addition to your jobs. Mr.

Grant's got three meetings this week.
You've got one. Two. Two?

that show.

I just don't know how you find the time.
I feel so... You know what I am doing

tomorrow night while you're at your
meeting and you're at your meeting and

you're entertaining the troops?

I'm washing my hair.

Mary, I'd give up all my outside
activities of washing my hair to

take up a whole evening.

I forget. If you want to...

Loosen something. Do you turn it
clockwise or counterclockwise?

Counterclockwise.

Well, I think I just tightened it
tighter.

Mary, we're not strong enough to loosen
it. Maybe I'll just have to go out and

hail a man.

Got it. Too bad.

Much weight, I guess.

Thanks, Phyllis. I was sitting on my
boyfriend's shoulders when he was

Rhoda and I have decided to take up
biking.

Rhoda, I had no idea you were so
interested in ecology.

Who's interested in ecology?

I'm interested in my thighs.

My ecology group is trying to eliminate
cars from the city and get people to use

bicycles instead.

Phyllis, what was that you were driving
out of your garage this morning?

It was a very big thing with a lot of
black smoke coming out the back.

Well, I have to use my car.

My other civic groups are important,
too, you know. I don't have the time to

just go peddling all over town.

Phyllis, where do you find the time? You
make the time, Mary, if you're a

concerned citizen.

There's no reason you couldn't.

You have no ties, no responsibilities,
no one who needs you.

You need her, Phyllis. Who would you be
bugging right now if she weren't here?

I should try to make the time.

Well, far be it from me to try to
influence you, Mary, but joining some

a civic group wouldn't hurt your social
life either. Uh -uh, no. I'm not looking

for a way to meet men. I am looking for
a way to do something, to be involved.

You know, Mary, you're right.

It's important for us to get actively
interested in civic affairs, to become

better citizens.

Right. And if along the way we happen to
meet a couple of cute new guys...

Oh, Rhoda, I don't want to do this to
meet men.

Phyllis, are there any groups that are
exclusively female?

Harry, let's not be fanatics about this.

Let me see here now.

Exclusively female.

Wait, here it is.

No, what?

Brownies.

Here it is. A new group, Women for
Better Government.

And they're having their first meeting
tonight at 8 .30 in the Civic

Tonight? huh?

That sounds pretty good.

Hey, you want to go with me? What would
I want to go there for?

Who knows?

You might find it more stimulating than
watching roller derby on TV.

Come on, go with me. Why don't you go
upstairs and change?

Mary, I am proud of you.

All right. All right, ma 'am, I'll go.

But why do I have to change my clothes?

For a bunch of women?

Wait, maybe there'll be a parking
attendant.

for three bills being introduced in the
legislature this year?

Think of her.

Think of her. Think of him. Who?

Him, that's who. Standing up there next
to her.

Oh, you mean the governor's assistant?

Yeah, Mary. The only man in the room.

I like the plans that he showed us for
more glass bottle recycling centers.

Positively gorgeous.

People shouldn't have to drive 20 miles
to get to one.

I want you to be living in your house at
all times. I mean, I think if you make

it convenient for people, they will
cooperate and take their bottles into

centers.

Okay, what's wrong?

He was crazy about you.

He was not.

He was too, Mary. Come on now. During
the question and answer period, when you

asked the question, he left the podium,
came down to the audience, asked me to

move over, and then sat down next to you
and answered you personally.

He's interested in her.

Rhoda, he did not come down off the
stage.

With his eyes, he did.

What are you smiling?

I'm sorry.

Mary, listen, don't defend yourself to
me. Believe me, I know why you went to

that meeting.

Not to meet men.

Well, so you got unlucky.

You have my sympathy.

Come on, Rhoda. I didn't meet him.

I wish I had.

He was pretty attractive, wasn't he?
Yeah.

He didn't even get my name. Well, he got
mine. I took off my name tag and pinned

it to his jacket.

Good night, kid. Good night.

Oh, Mary.

I'm tired. Can I leave this down here
for tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, maybe it'll be gone in the
morning.

talk to you then.

Goodbye.

How?

How, uh, what?

How did he get your number?

Oh, simple matter to get a person's
number.

He didn't know your name.

He got my license plate number as we
were driving away.

Yeah. And then he stopped a highway
patrolman and had him...

That's happened to me. I once had a guy
track me down like that. A highway

patrolman.

Sixty -three dollar speeding ticket.

Or a week in jail.

Mary?

Yes, sir?

Mary?

You have to go shopping for me today.

For my wife's birthday.

I usually give her money to buy
something for herself, but this year she

to be surprised.

By you.

And you'll have to hurry.

Her birthday was yesterday.

Well, uh, Mr. Grant, we're kind of busy
this morning.

So, go on your lunch hour.

Oh, well, I have a sort of, uh, a lunch
appointment.

Is it a business lunch? No, no, I'm
having lunch with a friend.

Edie's going to be awfully disappointed
if I don't get her a birthday present

today. Well, I'm sorry.

I'm going to be awfully disappointed,
too.

But you're having your lunch with your
friend.

Mr. Grant, it's just that this lunch is
sort of important to me.

It must be to antagonize me at 10 .30 in
the morning.

Mr. Grant, I... No, no, no.

That's okay.

I'll go out and get her a gift myself.

Good. She'll hate it.

But I'll get it myself.

Now, what happened in there, Mayor?

Morning, guys.

Mr. Grant asked me to get Mrs. Grant a
birthday present, and I had to say no.

Good for you, Mayor.

If you got her a present, you'd have to
get Murray's wife a present, and I don't

even have a wife.

This isn't fair.

After all, whoever thinks of my
mother... What's your mother got to do

this?

Well, if everyone's wife gets a present,
I don't know why my mother...

I would be delighted to buy Mrs. Grant a
birthday present at lunch.

He broke your lunch date, huh? I wasn't
going to tell you this, but he broke my

lunch date.

He made another date for just ten
minutes from now downstairs for coffee,

it's all right with you. I mean, I know
it sounds a little weird, but you see,

he's a very busy... Just a minute.

I don't want to know who it is you're
running out to me.

You know, the policy around here is that
we don't bring our personal lives...

Into the newsroom. Right. Just do your
work. Right.

Make sure you get Edie a nice present.

Has Mrs. Grant given you any hints as to
what she'd like her surprise to be?

Only for 20 years.

But it's too late now. The species is
extinct.

Well, I've got plenty of time to find
her something really nice. Because now,

you know, before I couldn't. I had a
problem because of the lunch. But now I

can. I can just... I'm gone. I'm gone.

appreciate what you're doing.

Would you like a nice gold locket with
my picture in it?

That would be very nice.

I mean, for my wife.

The cashier at the coffee shop had a
message for me that he couldn't make it.

Ted, are you looking for something? No,
thanks.

No, Ted, if you're looking for
something, let me help you with it. I'm

reading.

You're reading the old news files?

Well, I couldn't pick up a newspaper
this morning.

Yeah, they must have emptied the trash
basket at the bus stop.

Your date phoned to tell you he's sorry
he stood you up.

But he got an emergency call at the last
minute from the governor to make up for

it. He wants to buy you dinner tonight.

But he won't be able to call you this
afternoon.

So he'll pick you up at 8 at your place
if it's all right with you.

Hello?

Yes, it is.

No, he isn't here yet, but I am
expecting him. We have a date. Who's

please?

Well, hello, Mr. Governor, sir.

Can I have him return your call?

You'll wait?

On the...

If you want to, that's fine with me.

No, no trouble.

He said that he would be here at 8 o
'clock.

So he should be here in two minutes.

One minute if he's early.

Oh, it's Mary Richards.

I'm very pleased to meet you too, sir.

I don't blame you.

No, no, I... I hope you both have a very
pleasant evening.

Goodbye, sir.

If you would just make separate piles.

My stamps. The envelopes on the right,
the flyers on the left. I just had those

stamps. The stamps are around your neck.

Oh, thanks.

You're welcome.

Okay, you ready?

Ready.

Oh,

Mary. Oh, my.

Oh, Mary.

If my mother was here, she'd say, you're
asking for trouble.

It's perfect.

You don't think it's too dressy? Nah,
not for that place. Where is it he's

taking you? The Twelve Trees. I've never
been there before.

Oh, yes.

Oh, I haven't been there in years. Not
since our fifth wedding anniversary.

Gee, Lars has better taste than I
thought.

Well, Lars wasn't there.

He was out of town. But I thought, well,
why let that ruin a perfectly good

anniversary?

Mary's going there for a celebration,
too. It's their fifth first date.

I thought you'd already been out with
him.

Well, not quite. See, he's had to cancel
every date we've had so far because of

work. But tonight he promises nothing.

can interfere. The governor is making a
speech in Duluth, so he won't even be in

town. Well, I hope it works out for you
kids.

These super career guys are really
rough.

I mean, with their work always comes
first.

That's a good point, Rhoda. But Mary,
this is a sacrifice a woman has to make.

Many times I've been left alone while
Lars has gone out on emergency house

calls. Phyllis, Lars is a dermatologist.
When does he ever make house calls?

Well, on weekends.

and another doctor take each other's
calls. He's a bone specialist.

Sure, yeah.

When somebody breaks their leg, Mars
goes to the house and tells them not to

scratch it.

What do you think of these?

Oh, yeah, beautiful.

I have just the thing for that dress.
I'll be right back.

Mary, here they are.

My best earrings.

Antique gold.

They really do look great. Thank you.
Just be very, very careful with them.

They've been in my family for
generations.

I don't know what I'd do if you lost
them. They're insured, of course, but

know how mother hands them down to
daughter and mother...

I shall go.

angst that she usually runs with.

You know, when a girl is barely 30 and
attractive,

has a nice personality, I find it
difficult to understand why she isn't

married. You're talking about Mary?

Of course. Because you can't understand
why I'm not married.

Of course. Do me a favor, Phyllis. Would
you write it down and send it to my

mother? She doesn't understand.

It was the governor.

And because the governor was out of
town, he had to go somewhere in his

Well, why didn't you go with him?
Because he had to go to Anchorage,

Why didn't you go with him?

Oh, boy, all that money and the dress
never got off the block.

Maybe he didn't notice the kid. You can
wear it again.

It's got to be the shortest romance on
record.

Exactly. What do I want to get involved
with someone like that for?

Two minutes here, a phone call there,
and he's trying to impress me.

Imagine what it would be like if we were
going together and he started taking me

for granted.

Morning,

guys. Hi. Morning.

Leaving town, Ted? That's too bad. I'll
drive you to the airport.

No, no.

I keep my dummy in this thing. I mean my
hand puppet. I'll show it to you.

Hi, guys.

They're cute.

Well, thanks for the compliment, Mary.

You know, the little kids at the Air
Force Base really ate up my act last

The kids?

Yeah, well, some of the officers brought
their kids.

Fuzzy and I were a real smash.

Right, Fuzzo? Yep.

You know, I got to think of...

If my show could have a little more kid
appeal, it might help the ratings.

What did you have in mind? Oh, I don't
know.

Something like a kid's view of the news,
you know, five minutes or so.

This is Ted Baxter and Fuzzy with the
latest round of the...