All language subtitles for mary_tyler_moore_s02e10_dont_break_the_chain

Who can turn the world on with her
smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it, love is all

need to waste it. You can never tell,
why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after...

Pick up the mail. Oh, good.

Mary, I got it.

What? My income tax refund.

Every year I go crazy wondering whether
I'm going to get money or a summons for

my arrest.

Hey, I wonder if the government can
afford this.

How much is it for?

$18 .75.

Hey, there's one here for you, kid. Oh,
thanks.

Oh, no. You can't win. What? This is the
bill from the guy who prepared my

income tax.

What just don't you need? Another chain
letter.

Oh, I haven't seen one of these things
in years.

Dear friend, this letter will bring you
money if you read it and follow the

instructions. Claude Johnson read it,
followed the instructions, and received

over $25 ,000 cash.

And if you make 20 copies of this
letter, send it to your friends, add

to the bottom of the list of names, send
a dollar to the name at the top of the

list, you will receive over $25 ,000
cash, right?

Throw it away.

Really? You mean you're really going to
break it? Isn't it bad luck or something

to break the chain? There. Now, you see,
that's what I hate about those letters.

All that superstition and greed.

What possible bad luck could I have if I
break it anyway? Come on.

You could lose your job.

Christmas list is?

Right here.

What are you doing with the Christmas
list at this time of year? The same

you want to do with it.

Did you happen to get a chain letter
from... Yes, I did. And I just want you

know that even though we're friends and
we work at practically the same desk

together, the 17 people on this list are
mine.

Oh, well.

Well, okay.

I'll tell you what. If it'll make you
feel any better, I'll let you have...

Switchboard operator.

The mail boy?

Okay, it's a start anyway. Thanks.

Now, where am I going to come up with
the rest of the people on this list?

you have a lot of friends.

Yeah, and the reason they're my friends
is I don't send them dumb chain letters.

Mary, you broke Lou's chain.

Oh, come on, Marie. If I didn't,
somebody else would.

Morning.

Oh, you've got a message here to call
Frederick Varney.

Never heard of him.

No, wait.

Isn't he the new chairman of the board?

And our biggest stockholder.

Yeah. Oh, I just remembered who he is.

Mary, what's half of my chain letter
doing in your wastebasket?

Mary, I'll let you have Chef Leroy.

Mary, I'm going to give you the benefit
of the doubt.

Because here's what I think happened.

You were reading my chain letter.

Your hands accidentally slipped.

Tearing the paper.

Just then, there was a loud...

The pieces of the letter fell out of
your hands and into your

wastebasket.

Then I came in.

So here you go, and you're welcome.

Mr. Grant, it did not accidentally slip
out of my hands. I ripped it up and

threw it into the wastebasket because I
just don't happen to believe in chain

letters. Well, neither do I.

Well, then why did you send it?

Because this one's different.

Did you see this list of names?

You mean the people who answered the
letter? Right.

And it's a very distinguished list.

Now, look up here at this name.

Alan Ludden.

Yeah.

So?

Mary.

Alan Ludden is no fly -by -night nobody.

watching Alan on television ever since
college school.

If Alan Lutton believes this chain
letter is good enough for him, that's

enough for me.

That's why I spent a lot of time picking
people who I knew wouldn't break the

chain. People I could trust.

People who are reliable, responsible,
intelligent.

Lou, I got your chain letter.

but I just have to tell you how honored
I am that you chose me.

Oh, you get one too, Mary?

Oh, yeah.

Say, look, Mary, if we send 20 of these
to our friends and none of us break the

chain, I could win $25 ,000.

Mm -hmm. And all you have to do is send
a dollar to the person at the top of the

list. Oh.

Oh, what the heck?

Now all I've got to do is find 20 people
to send it to.

Uh, why don't you send it to the members
of your fan club, Ted?

That's a good idea.

And all I do is come up with 15 more.

You still want to break the chain, Mary?

Knowing how it will disappoint Ted and
me?

Not to mention Alan Ludden.

Mary. Hi. How come you're not watching
that documentary on TV?

It's on how much fun us single swingers
are having.

How come you're not watching it?

I didn't want to watch it alone. It's
too depressing.

to that program right this minute, you
and I are either skiing or on a hayride.

I don't have time for either one of
those things. Maybe when I finish with

chain letter.

Mary, I can't believe you still hung up
with that chain letter.

Well, you pick the first 20 names in
your address book.

You'll still be in the A's.

Rhoda, I am already into the L's, and I
haven't found one person I would like to

burden with it. Well, when you get to
the M's, kid, feel free to burden me.

thanks. Yeah, I already did.

Oh, yeah?

Of course, I have to work late all this
week.

But I suppose on my one night off, I
could go to the library and use that

duplicating machine.

Twenty copies, huh?

Ten cents a page?

Are you crossing me off the list? Yeah.
Thanks, kid.

Armand Linton. I don't remember that
name.

I also don't remember this handwriting.

Let me see it.

There. Oh, yeah, that's Armand Linton.

I put that in.

Rhoda, why are you putting strange men
in my address book?

He's not a strange man, Mia. He's the
guy you invited to that party you gave

my date, and he showed up with his wife.
Oh, yes.

I remember her.

Nancy. I remember him.

Almond. It still doesn't explain why you
wrote him in my address book and not

yours. I don't have one.

I've been getting by for years on the
back of a cocktail napkin.

Send one to Almond. He won't mind. Okay.

Hey, Roy Martoni.

Yeah, I wouldn't feel too guilty about
sending one to him. Who's he?

Well, there was an ad in this cooking
magazine that said, send away for free

steak knife, no obligation.

So I did. I sent away for it. And Roy
Mortoni showed up at my door with my

no obligation steak knife. I know the
bit. Then he tried to sell you a whole

of steak knives, right? No, no.

What? A whole set of encyclopedias.

I just thought of the perfect person you
can send that letter to. Who? My

mother. Oh, yeah, good.

Sign my name. She loves to hear from me.

But that was four minutes ago.

What's taking him so long?

Ted, your $25 ,000 is not going to come
in one letter. It comes little by

little. If it comes, which it probably
won't. Well, that's what I'm waiting

my first little.

I've already invested a buck in this
thing.

Where is that kid?

Did that boy get here yet?

Oh, Lou, and I want him fired.

I don't know why they give an important
job like delivering the mail to a boy. I

mean... They should give it to a grown
-up, a male man. You know what I mean?

You understand, don't you, Lou? Some kid
is probably goofing off with it in the

halls. Here, Ted. I think I saw a couple
in there for you.

Don't try to figure it out, Ted. Just
look fast and see if there's anything

there for me.

And don't be too disappointed if you
didn't get any money. I never heard of

anybody who ever did.

I got a dollar.

You see, Mary, Alan Ludden knows.

Bunch of fan letters for me.

Only Ted could call one postcard a
bunch.

Hi, Mary.

Hi. I got your chain letter and I just
wanted to thank you in person.

Oh, you're welcome.

Thank you.

Well, that's because last time you saw
me, I had my wife Nancy on my arm. Oh,

yes. How is Nancy?

Off my arm.

We're separated, you know. Oh, I'm sorry
to hear that. Well, that's all right.

You see, I've been to a personal
counselor, and I've learned to be open

honest about my separation.

Uh -huh. Uh, excuse me, Mary. Oh, thank
you. Oh, uh, Murray Slaughter, Armand

Linton. Oh, hi. How are you? Fine, since
I became separated from my wife, Nancy.

Uh, well, I'm sorry to hear about that.

What's the name again?

Nancy.

Well, Armand, it was really nice
visiting with you, but I do have some

do. You know, Mary, your letter couldn't
have come at a better time.

It reminded me of how attractive and
single you were.

You certainly are still attractive. Are
you still, uh... Oh, yes.

Well, well.

So am I, since I became separated from
my wife, Nancy.

And so that's when I decided to go into
the stock brokerage business.

Perhaps you've heard of my company.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe I have. What's
it called, Armand? Armand Linton and

Company.

No, I haven't heard of it.

Well, that's where I usually spend my
mornings, but since today was a holiday,

figured... What holiday is today?

It's my birthday.

Oh, well, happy birthday.

Thank you.

You know, I usually spend my birthdays
with Nancy, but since we're separated, I

was wondering if you'd care to have
dinner with me tonight.

Oh. Uh, well, uh... Uh, sure.

Sure. Oh, great.

Uh, what time do you get through here?

Uh, well, not until about 7 o 'clock.
Oh, that late, huh?

Couldn't you kind of get away a little
early tonight?

Uh, no.

No, no, I couldn't. Uh, Armand, I have a
tremendous amount of work to do here.

Oh. Well, where would you like to go
tonight?

Uh, well, I... Why don't we, uh, discuss
that later?

Well, the reason I'd like to know is so
I can make a reservation.

Uh -huh. Well, uh, the Embers is always
nice.

That's where I always used to go with
Nancy before we were separated.

No, I don't think that would be in good
taste.

Okay, how about... Well,

no, that's no good either.

You used to go there with Nancy a lot,
did you? No, it's just no good. Food's

bad.

Well, I went to a place that was pretty
good last night, if I could just

remember the name of it. Mary?

Yes, sir. Can I see you a minute?

Yes, sir.

Excuse me. I really do have to get to
work. It's okay, Mary. I've got nothing

but time. Mary!

Mr. Grant, please don't say a word. I
know exactly what you're going to say.

Okay. What am I going to say?

You are going to say that you do not
like us to have personal people in the

newsroom during business hours because
when there are people in the newsroom,

you can't be yourself. You have to be
nice.

And you don't like... Having to be nice
because when you're nice, then nobody

gets any work done at all. And that's
what you were going to say.

Yes.

But you left out the most important
item.

What? Get rid of him. Mr. Grant, I am
trying my level best to get rid of him.

No, no, Mary, no.

If you want to get rid of somebody, you
say, please leave.

Go away.

Get out of here.

Words like that.

When I hear words like, where shall we
have dinner tonight?

I finish work at seven.

Can you get off any earlier?

That's not getting rid of someone, Mary.

That's planning a life together.

Goodness. When did Armand leave?

He didn't leave.

Ted is taking him on a personal tour of
the studio.

Ted? Yeah. When your friend introduced
himself as a stockbroker, Ted must have

thought that was the same as
stockholder.

And he's giving him the royal treatment.

This is the newsroom where the news is
made and written for me.

Fascinating. I'd like you to meet the
hardest working girl in the newsroom.

That's because she's the only girl in
the newsroom.

This is Armand Linton, one of our
stockbrokers.

Almond? This is Mary Richards. Mary, why
don't I pick you up at 8 o 'clock

tonight?

Okay, I'll just write down my address
for you.

Roy, talk about fast workers.

Great, I'll see you tonight.

I'll show you to the elevator. Oh, that
won't be necessary. I prefer the stairs.

It's good exercise.

Oh, is that how you keep in such great
shape?

Well, yes, that and yoga.

Yoga? No kidding. I love yoga.

Have you ever tried the kind with the
fruit on the bottom?

Come on in, Rhoda.

It's locked, Mary.

Armand!

It's only 7 .30. I thought our date was
for 8 o 'clock.

Well, I know I'm a half hour early, but
I had nothing to do and I figured I'd

rather do it here.

My apartment seems so empty now.

Since Nancy... moved out. And took all
the furniture.

Well, I still have to get dressed, so
just come in and make yourself at home.

You could read a magazine. Our
reservation's at 315.

Where'd you finally decide we'd eat?

Well, I made reservations in four
places.

Well, wherever you want to go.

I didn't make a reservation there.

Don't you remember me? I'm Rhoda
Morgenstern.

Oh, yes. I didn't recognize you without
my wife.

Nancy, huh? Yeah.

We're separated, you know. Oh, really?

That's too bad, Almond.

Hi, Rhoda.

Almond Linton. I know.

Mayor, the reason I came down is I want
to show you something in your kitchen.

Excuse us. Certainly.

Well, you remember how you told me to
send him a chain letter? He answered it.

In person.

Mary, you gotta be the only girl in the
world who can send out a chain letter

and win a man.

I didn't want to win him.

Oh, well, good. Because a great
-looking, separated man like that, Mary,

not go to waste. So if you'll excuse me.
Uh, Rhoda!

What?

He's taking me to dinner.

Oh. And you don't want to go?

Well, it's his birthday.

Mary, I'm going to do something to you
I've never done before.

I'm going to take him away from you.

Terrific. I'll help you. Good. That
means I might have a chance.

Hi.

I'm looking for Mary Richards.

You would just tell her Roy Martoni. I'm
an old friend.

about to go out. Just a minute. I'll be
just a minute.

A minute?

Looks like he's moving in.

Roy Martoni, this is Rhoda Morgenstern.
Roy Martoni. And I'm on Linton. Roy

Martoni. Roy Martoni. You just get into
town?

How's that?

No, no, no, no. This is my line. I'm a
salesman. What do you sell? Black

cardboard suitcases?

Roy sells encyclopedias.

Oh, no, no, Mary. I gave... that up. The
samples were too heavy.

You know, Mary, sending me that chain
letter was such a beautiful, generous

thing to do that I said to myself, how
am I ever going to pay her back?

Well, and then it came to me. I'm going
to show her what I've got in this cake.

Waterless cookware.

And this is an ordinary waterless
cookware. This is thunderware.

Oh, gee, Mary, waterless.

You see, we're just on our way out to
dinner. Listen, Mary, after you see me

demonstrate waterless thunderware,
you'll never eat out again.

You want to know why? Because it's based
on a totally new principle of cooking.

The flavor is sealed right in the pot.

Well, how long does this take? Brussels
sprouts, about four minutes.

String beans, about two and a half, and
carrots. I mean the demonstration.

Well, not long at all. You see, I'm all
set up. Well, I really don't think we

can, Mary.

I'm all set up, Mayor.

All right, but please make it fast, huh?
All right, wonderful. Why don't you all

just sit down, and Mary, why don't you
just sit right over there?

Rhoda, sit there. Armand, it is Armand,
isn't it? Yes, that's right. Why don't

you sit right there?

Okay.

Now, in the beginning, when the caveman
was hungry and wanted food, he just

hit it over the head and ate it, right?

But then he invented what?

first utensils were large flat rocks,
which when heated up became our first,

what?

Frying pan.

Pan came the ice age. I'll buy it.

What? I'll buy it.

But I'm not, I'm not done yet.

Yeah, he didn't even get up to the
stainless steel age.

Look, we're all in kind of a hurry, so
just tell me how much it is and we'll

leave. I'll get my coat.

Wonderful. Yeah, listen.

for 18 months. But if you want to put
$25 down, it's $15 .46 for 12 months.

if you want a thrifty plan, it's $6 .57
for 36 months.

And how much would it be if I pay for
the whole thing right now in cash?

Cash? Cash.

I have no idea.

You have no idea?

You see, we make our money on interest
payments and loan charges.

If we took money, I think we'd lose
money.

All right, I'll pay by the month. Oh,
wonderful.

All you have to do is fill out a few of
these forms.

All ready.

Now, on the back of page three, I want
you to put down the names and addresses

of your employers for the last 12 years.

You know, I may be able to get some use
out of this cookware. I'm just

separated, you know. Oh, well, then this
set is wonderful for you. You know why?

Because it comes with a one -cup coffee
maker.

Say, look, Mary, I just bought myself a
birthday present.

Did I hear you say it's your birthday?
Uh -huh. Thought that entitles you to a

free gift.

Here, I'm going to throw in a potato
peeler.

Thank you. Gee, I just can't wait to get
started using all this stuff.

But, uh, Mary and I have a date. You're,
uh, leaving?

Oh, no, no. Listen, Armand, why wait?

I'm sure everybody here is anxious to
see your new thunderwear in action.

Action, right?

Right you are, Mayor Armand. Wouldn't
you like a good home -cooked meal

of going out?

Well, yeah, I sure would. I haven't had
a good home -cooked meal since... Nancy

moved out? Yeah, took all the dishes.

Well, listen, I don't think I have
enough food in my refrigerator, but you

can go to the market. Oh, now, wait a
minute. You don't have to, because I've

got a roast in the car.

Oh, that's great. How much do you want
for it? Oh, no charge.

It's a demonstrator.

full of groceries in the car.

You know what? I want to show you fellas
how to use this, because if you don't

use it right, it can explode.

Let me give you a hand with that. I love
the exercise. Oh, that's wonderful.

The car is parked right out front.

The gray package. Gray.

Say, ladies, I don't want to step on
anybody's toes, especially on the toes

fella that size, but which one of you is
with him?

Me.

Well, well.

Good morning.

Has the mail come in yet?

Ted, we just came in. No mail yet. Why
don't you give up, Ted? You're not going

to get any money from that chain letter.

What makes you think I'm waiting for
money from the chain letter? I could be

waiting for my fan mail, you know.
Either way, you're going to be

Looks like I've struck gold.

Little green baccarina.

Didn't think it would work, eh? Well,
this is only the beginning. There's more

where this came from.

Uh, Ted, I don't think there's more
where this came from. Where'd it come

From you.

It's your letter. When you mailed it in,
you forgot to put a stamp on it.

Oh, yeah?

How much did you guys make?