All language subtitles for mary_tyler_moore_s02e06_cover_boy

Who can turn the world on with her
smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it. Love is all

need to waste it. You can never tell,
why don't you take it?

You're gonna make it after all.

You're gonna make it after all.

What do you mean, what's wrong with him?
He hasn't made a single mistake for the

entire show.

That's what I mean. Something is
definitely wrong with him.

I wonder what.

And how do we make it last?

I don't know.

He has seemed a little preoccupied
today, though. Every few minutes he's

coming in here and asking me if his
brother is called yet. His brother? You

there are two of him in the world?

Murray, look, just because he has a
brother, it doesn't mean they have to be

exactly alike.

Well, for his brother's sake, I
certainly hope not.

Hi.

I'm Hal.

You're Ted's brother.

No, no, no. Ted is my brother.

Well, I am going into the studio. I'll
tell Ted his brother.

I'll tell your brother his brother.

I'll tell him you're here.

I'm Mary Richards.

And I'm Hal Baxter.

And that's Ted?

Yes, that's Ted.

Why, it's incredible.

He looks like a man his age.

Well, we all think that he looks just
fine.

It's great fun to work with him. And,
well, you should be very proud of him.

I am, I am. I think it's wonderful that
he's here in this.

Little studio.

What is it that he does? A sportscaster
with a man? No, he's the anchorman.

Ah, the job that goes to the man with
the most seniority, eh?

Oh, no, no. Ted got the job because he's
very competent at what he does.

Ted?

No.

What brings you to Minneapolis, Hal?

Oh, I'm shooting a film.

Just be here a couple of days.

You're an actor.

What else?

You look so familiar.

What have I seen you... Commercials!
You're the clear bag man!

Hey, that's me!

Gee, that's great. Not too many people
recognize me without my plastic cape.

And aren't you also the man with the
stopped -up sinuses and all those little

pain things all over your face?

Yeah, of course, that was four years
ago. My head's cleared up since.

Well, I feel I know you.

I'm Hal Baxter.

Mary Richards.

Yes, I am.

Say, Mary, now that we know each other,
could I ask you a personal question?

Sure.

How much does Ted make?

Howly. Eddie.

It's been a while. Five years.

Excuse me.

Would you clear up that nonsense like I
told you?

What were you yelling about out there?
Oh, nothing, nothing.

Say, Lou, you may think of me as a happy
-go -lucky sort of a guy, but

underneath this Ted Baxter, there's
another Ted Baxter.

One that's more serious, more sensitive,
more vulnerable.

Is there a Ted Baxter under there who'll
get to the point quicker?

Lou, the thing is, my brother's out
there, and we're like... Darn it, Lou,

always coming on like he's better than
me, like I'm nothing.

Well, who knows?

He could be on to something.

Thing is, though, I thought that perhaps
you might do me this little favor.

What's that?

Well, I got this idea that he might be
impressed if you went out there and

offered me a raise in front of him.

Offer you a raise? A make -believe
raise.

A make -believe raise.

Well, I see.

Well, Ted, why stop at a simple little
thing like offering you a raise?

Why don't I go out there and pretend to
crown you king?

Come on, Lou.

Just a little raise.

Why won't you? Why won't I?

Because out there, when you've got some
witnesses, you might accept it. No, I

won't, Lou. Cross my heart. You just
crossed your lung, Ted.

Come on, Lou, please.

All right.

I'll say you're getting a raise.

How much?

Fifty bucks a week.

A hundred and fifty or no deal.

I'll take the fifty.

Twenty -five?

Goodbye, Lou.

smart enough to see things my way, Lou,
or else it would mean getting some new

writers around here.

Hey,

Howie. Teddy.

How you doing?

I'm doing $45 ,000 a year. How you
doing?

I'm doing $50 ,000.

Uh, 50 weeks a year, two weeks off with
pay.

That's great, Teddy.

How you getting around these days? Still
skating to work?

Oh, Teddy, you should see the new car
I... My God, it's a sleek little Italian

job. Well, I'm driving a sleek little
German job.

It's 34 miles to Miguel.

But, Teddy, mine is a classic. Yours is
a classic.

Mine hasn't changed its design in 22
years.

And the beauty of that is mine will
always look 22 years old.

Oh, Teddy, it's so great to see you.

I'm going to give you a treat.

I'm going to give you a chance to take
me out to dinner tonight.

Oh, Hallie, that's great. Just the two
of us on the town?

Shoot the whole lot. Money's no option.
See, I know this little place. They've

got terrific steaks. And the best part
is you don't have to get out of the car

to eat.

That sounds keen.

Say, Ted, maybe I could ask a date.

How about you? You do have a girl, don't
you?

Sure, I've got a girl.

Well, great. Call her up. We'll make it
a foursome. Call her up.

Hi. Don't have to do that. Mary?

How does that sound to you?

How does what sound?

Well, Hal wants you and me to double
with him.

You mean to say... You mean to say she's
your girl?

Well, this is my first day in town, if
it were tomorrow.

Say, Mayor, why don't you fix hell up
with that Israeli friend of yours?

You mean Rhoda? Yeah.

Ted, she's not Israeli. She's from New
York.

Well, I knew it was somewhere there in
the Middle East.

I'm really sorry about fixing you up
with Hal. Here it comes.

Okay, what does he look like? He's very
good looking.

Here. Yeah?

Hey, not bad.

How does he look with both sides of his
face shaved?

He's on page 148. Yeah, 148.

Very attractive.

Mary, this is the first time I've seen
you. It's the first time I've seen my

date in his underwear before I met him.

What's wrong with him? I mean, other
than the obvious handicap of him being

fantastically handsome.

Well, he's a lot like Ted, only more.

The two of them, when they get together,
are so unbelievably competitive.

Well, would you believe two grown men
actually arm wrestling on the top of my

desk? You're kidding.

No. That's the most ridiculous
juvenile...

Did mine win?

Two out of three.

Hi,

honey. Hi.

Hi, Mary.

Well, Rhoda, you of course know Ted.
This is Ted's brother, Hal.

Hal is... Ted is Hal's brother. They're
brothers.

Yeah.

Well.

Oh, thank you.

Well, well, well.

Aren't we pretty?

You mean me or both of us?

Both of us.

You certainly have a very nice apartment
here, Mary.

Very nice. Thank you.

You mean to say you haven't been here
before?

Of course.

What do you think? I come here all the
time, don't I, Mary? All the time, yes.

Look, I'll show you around.

This is Mary's living room.

And, uh...

There's her bar kitchen.

Bar kitchen.

And this is her table where sometimes
Mary fixes us a quiet little dinner and

sit down and she puts the food on this
table.

Say, if you girls really want to laugh,
watch Ted try and beat me enormously.

Go on. Here we go.

Listen, guys, one big laugh a day is
plenty.

Look at him, will you?

He's had this competitive thing all our
lives.

You'd think we'd have gotten over it by
now. I mean, what do we have to prove

now?

All right, Hal, that's enough.

Give up, Ted?

No, you first, Hal. No, no, you first.

You, Hal, Ted.

The one who wins pays for dinner.

Now, this really is silly, fighting in
Mary's apartment.

Yeah, you're right.

Girls, I'd like to apologize. Well, our
parents used to encourage this sort of

thing. When we were kids, they'd buy one
toy for the two of us, throw it up in

the air, and we had to jump for it.

But you see this in school, always
trying to outdo each other in class,

competing for the teacher's attention.

You were in the same class?

isn't Ted? Two years older.

But we were in the same class.

If you know what I mean.

Well, there were a couple of years there
they only promoted the taller kids.

You really believe that?

Well, Mom said.

Is anyone here as starving as I am? I'll
second that motion. I'll make it

anonymous.

nifty shot of me in a Nehru jacket.

I was the first one to wear a Nehru
jacket.

Say, whatever happened to that Nehru guy
anyway? Dropped right out of the

fashion world.

He was the prime minister of India. Oh.

Well, it's nice to know he found
something else.

Ted, I believe the gentleman wants you
to try the wine. Oh, sure. Love my vino.

That's a pretty chintzy fellow for eight
bucks.

Ted, he only wants you to taste it. Oh,
oh.

Yes, that's wine, all right.

Miles, what a lovely restaurant, Ted.
Where'd you hear about it? Oh, I come

all the time.

Oh, really?

If you come here all the time, Mary's
your best girl.

How come you've never brought her
before?

Are you seeing someone else, Ted?

I come for business, that's all. And
breakfasts. Big business breakfasts.

May I propose a toast to all the
wonderful things that make life worth

Beautiful food, beautiful wine, and
beautiful women.

Chateaubriand for two. That's just what
I was going to have.

What are you going to have?

How about you, Teddy?

Want to make it anonymous?

The Chateaubriand for two?

Where is it on the menu, ma 'am?

Oh.

Oh, I had Chateaubriand for two for
breakfast with eggs.

Hey, this looks pretty good, ma 'am.

How about this?

A fruit cup, a turkey leg, and mashed
potatoes?

Ted, we can't have that.

Why not?

We're not under 12.

We'll be a few more minutes, waiter.

Yeah, everything here looks so good.

Thank you.

May I?

Teddy, my boy, anybody looking at this
table would think that... You two are on

your first date.

Mary, I don't want to make you nervous
or anything like that, but I'm afraid

going to have to kiss you.

On the lips.

Say, Mayor, I'm sorry about that
embarrassment about the check back at

restaurant. Yeah, it's too bad they
wouldn't accept your gasoline credit

Ted.

I'll pay you back tomorrow, Mayor. Just
make sure you keep track of the amount.

Oh, I will. Don't worry. Well, group, I
guess we'll say goodnight for now.

Aren't you going to come in?

Well, actually, we thought we'd go up to
Rhoda's place and look at a fantastic

collection. What collection?

Magazines.

I have all these millions of magazines.

What we're going to do is look through
them and see how many pictures we can

find. Of me.

What about Hal Hunt?

Hey, that's a great idea. Kind of make a
game out of it. First one who spots my

picture gets a kiss. Fun.

Mary, I can't leave now.

Not while he's still up there.

Why not?

Well, Hal came in my car, and he'll know
if I leave. And if you're supposed to

be my girl, how would it look if I left
first?

But, Ted, it's awfully late.

Well, how long does it take to look
through a million magazines?

But, Ted, the thing is, I've got some
things I've got to do.

Please, Mary.

Oh, right.

Gee, I don't know what to say. Thank
you.

Thank you.

We appreciate this, Mayor.

And it's all right.

The whole road is my brother -in -law.

time I'll be leaving.

How about you?

Hey, Mary, cut it out, will you?

Come on, Mary, will you cut it out?

Mary, I'm on the phone. Will you cut it
out?

I gotta go now.

Who are you talking to?

Oh, nobody.

Just called the wrong number.

Say, what a wonderful hi -fi you've got.
Do you mind if I put on a little mood

music? Well, Ted, I don't know if I have
any music to sing. suit the mood I'm

in.

Come on, Mary. What do you say?

Yes. Go fish.

Tens.

Go fish.

Hey, Ted, what time is it? Oh, it's
still early. What time is it?

Uh, would you like some more music,
Mary?

I think it's getting light out.

What, that? Oh, no, no, no. It's in the
middle of the night.

Ted, that's dawn.

Come on. Oh, it's not dawn. You see, it
looks like dawn because we're in

Minnesota, you know.

The land of the midnight sun.

Oh, Ted, Minnesota is not the land of
the midnight sun. It's the land of 10

lakes. And I think I see one of them
now.

It's like having a brother like Hal.

Dad, I'm so punchy. I don't know what
it's like being me. Please call him.

Obviously, he's not going to call you.

Oh. See, I told you. See?

Hello?

Yes, Rhoda.

Yes.

All right.

Yes, I will.

Goodbye.

That was Rhoda.

She wants us, please, to turn off the
music. It woke her up.

I've overstayed my welcome.

Mary?

Yes, sir.

Did you get enough sleep last night?

I didn't get any.

sleep last night, as a matter of fact,
but I'm fine, just fine.

No, you're not.

That last pot of coffee you made?

What about it?

Don't you think it's kind of funny that
it's all clear like that?

Shouldn't the color be sort of brownish?

I think that I... Yeah, you did. I'll
make another pot. No, no, no, no. That's

all right. I'll wait till after you wake
up.

Oh, what a beautiful afternoon.

Oh, hello, Mary.

I'm sorry, Ted. I'm just a little out of
it. I'm too sleepy.

Oh, sleep. Don't mention that word to
me.

Do you know I slept right through my
alarm this afternoon?

I'd still be asleep if I didn't wake up
anyway.

Say, I just talked to Hal. He's coming
by later. I thought maybe...

How much do I owe you for last night?

No, I insist. I really want to pay you
back, Mary.

Forty -two dollars.

Twenty.

Forty.

One.

Two.

Forty -two.

Does that include the tip?

No, it doesn't.

Forty -three.

Now, how about tonight?

Ted, I just couldn't take another night
of you and Hal doing that topping each

other thing.

I just...

Why are you two so afraid of being
second best?

Well, I'm not. He is.

Ted, you just did it again.

Well, I'd stop if he would. There it is
again. Ted, somebody has got to stop

first or it'll go on forever.

I'll let him quit first. Then I'll quit
first.

Why don't you quit first and be the
first to quit first?

That makes sense.

Good afternoon, gang.

Hi, Mary.

Hi. Teddy, my boy.

When I left Rotors last night, your car
was still out front. What happened?

Flat...

and played cards and watched her iron.

She's not my girlfriend. She doesn't
even like me much.

Oh, Ted, no, I wouldn't say that. But
I've got lousy eyes.

What happened to him?

Lousy eyes. I can't see a thing without
my glasses.

You want to see what I look like in my
glasses? Here.

Old four -eyed, see?

How's that for being honest?

Terrific.

about this brother of yours.

See that dimple there?

Now, you don't remember that when we
were kids. You know why?

It wasn't there.

It cost me 750 bucks.

Oh, yeah? Will you see this nose?

Oh, Ted, that ought about... No, no,
Mary.

You know that TV commercial I'm shooting
here in town?

My face isn't in it.

They wanted my feet.

It's for socks.

Socks? Stretch socks.

White stretch out.

I tell you, kid, I've hit bottom.

Gee, I don't know what to say.

Hal, you'll work your way up again.

That's nice of you to say, Mary, but...
Sure, Hal, you look good to me, pal.

Thanks, Ted, but you're blind without
your glasses.

Say, Hal, you and I have got a lot to
talk about.

Why don't just you and I go out for
dinner and catch up?

I know all the worst places in town.

Oh, uh, first, uh, come on in the studio
with me and, uh, watch me mess up the

news. I'm really terrible.

Just my luck.

No witnesses.

thank you for fixing me up with Hal last
night.

Oh, come on, Rhody. You didn't have a
good time. This is true, but at least

while I wasn't having a good time, it
was with the best looking guy in the

world.

Boy, I don't know. I wouldn't want to go
out with a guy who's prettier than I

am.

Hey, Rhody, remember last night we
walked into the restaurant and those

snapped around?

They were looking at Hal.

I made the mistake of asking him which
was his bad side.

Do you know that we looked for it for
ten minutes?

We couldn't find it. We found mine right
away, though.

It's the front.