All language subtitles for mary_tyler_moore_s02e03_hes_no_heavy_hes_my_brother

Who can turn the world on with her
smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?

Well, it's you, girl, and you should
know it.

With each glance and every little
movement you show it, love is all

need to waste it. You can never tell,
why don't you take it?

You'll go.

air conditioning is on.

Well, the heat was on for a week in
August. It evens out.

Will you check the previous low in
Gordy's weather book for me, please?

The coldest November 21st in Twin
Cities. History, the previous low.

Minneapolis, November 21st, 1929, one
degree below zero.

Now, wait.

St. Paul had a two below.

Those people are so competitive over
there.

Hey, Gordy, what's your latest
temperature reading?

20 minutes ago, it was up 2 degrees.

Well, what does that make it now?

101. I've been running a fever all day.

Well, that's one way of keeping warm.

And that's another way.

One of those stations out in California
has one, and it's terrific.

They scoop everybody during all those
big disasters they have out there, even

the networks.

Well, it sounds great, but, you know,
how many big disasters do we have here

Minneapolis? Hi, guys.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Mary, I want you to read this.

To all personnel subject to vacations,
it has become...

vacation scheduling policy because last
year, 90 % of all employees took their

vacations during the same two weeks in
July. What's this all about?

Henceforth, an employee's vacation time
will be determined by the date of his

original employment. Now, wait a minute.

What about the women?

The same thing applies, Ted.

Oh.

The employee must take his or her
vacation within four weeks

of the above -mentioned date.

Or forfeit it. That's the dumbest thing
I ever heard. The worst. It's absolutely

ridiculous. I won't do it. This ruling,
of course, does not apply to department

heads, performers, and those employees
covered by union contracts.

Well, that's not so bad.

Yeah, who cares? What are we all getting
so excited about?

Mr. Grant, who does this cover?

In this department?

Yeah. It's you.

Oh, swell.

Do you have any idea of when I started
working here?

No, I guess about a year ago.

It was a year ago last week.

Happy anniversary.

I have to take my vacation within the
next three weeks or lose it. Well, have

nice time.

Oh, boy. Where am I supposed to go
during a record cold spell?

How about Hawaii?

I went there one winter, had a wonderful
time.

Huh? Where did you stay, Ted?

Well, it was a pretty exclusive place. I
don't think they'd let her in.

Oh, well, what was the name of it, Ted?

Well, the Honolulu Bay.

Is that Vi as in Vi -key -key or Vi as
in Vi -M -C -A?

So who stays in their rooms? You're
always out on the beach anyway.

Well, I couldn't afford Hawaii anyway.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I just thought of something, Mary. Wait.

You know, Mary, actually, winter
vacations aren't too bad. I've been

myself the last couple of years. Yeah?
Where'd he go?

St. Louis.

When you go in the winter, you can take
advantage of the off -season rates.

Yeah, but why would anyone want to go to
St. Louis in the winter?

It's better than going in the summer.

Ta -da!

How'd you like to have a tan like that?

Big deal.

Jackie, where have you been?

Puerto Lorenzo in Mexico.

Oh, wow, that's the most gorgeous tan
I've ever seen.

It's real, too.

Well, the only trouble is I'm afraid I'm
going to lose it in a hurry. Why?

Working in the darkroom the way you do,
you won't get as faded as you would if

you worked in the light all the time.

I need a vacation. He almost made sense
to me that time.

I guess this Porto Lorenzo place is
pretty expensive, huh? No. My girlfriend

I had a double room for only $12 a day,
so that's all it cost us.

Well, that...

Sounds perfect.

It certainly does. I think I'll go there
on my vacation.

Plus, I'll be able to brush up on my
Spanish.

Ted, it's hard for me to believe that
you can speak Spanish when you're barely

fluent in English. Oh, really?

Listen to this.

Senorita, how are you?

Fine, thank you. Ted, that's not
speaking Spanish.

Oh, she understood me, didn't she?

Hi, kid. Hi.

I got you your cocoa.

Ah, thank you. Here. Hey, Rhoda.

How'd you like to get out of the cold
for a while?

Mary, I am out of the cold. And I want
to thank you for letting me stand right

here in the warm.

I mean out of this Minneapolis weather.

Leave when it's one below zero? Never.

What? Mary, I came to Minneapolis
because of the cold.

I figured if I was frozen, I'd keep
better.

an icicle. Listen, Rhoda, I just found
out that I gotta take my vacation in the

next couple of weeks. Yeah?

I always take my vacations in the
winter.

Less competition at the beaches. Yeah.

Well, there's this girl at the station
who just got back from a place where

in the middle of winter, the beaches are
warm and sunny and there are palm trees

and the people there speak hardly any
English at all. It's called Miami Beach.

some wedgies on her and you've got to
leave.

Where is this place?

It's in a place called Puerto Lorenzo,
Mexico.

And the girl at the station just got
back from that place with the most

tan. Oh, Mexico, huh? Yeah.

Listen, I'll see if I can get off work.

Is the week after next okay? Terrific.

I'll call a travel agent tomorrow and
get them working on all the

Oh, this is going to be fun. Yeah.

Spanish? No, just a little French. How
about you? Two years of Hebrew.

French and Hebrew in Mexico. It's going
to be a weird vacation.

Mary, I want you to call Los Angeles and
see if you can get... That's right. The

Playa Hotel in Puerto Lorenzo, Mexico.

And we want a double room.

And I understand that the rate is $12 a
day?

Good. Yes, I'll hold. Yes, Mr. Grant.
That station with a helicopter in Los

Angeles. I want you to call them... P -U
-E -R -T -O -L -O -R -E -N -D -O.

The Playa Hotel.

P -L -A -Y -A.

Thank you.

He's looking it up. Wonderful. W -O -N
-D -E -R -F -U -L. I'll get Los Angeles

for you.

No, not for you. For my birth
certificate from my visitor's visa.

Gee, I don't know where mine is.

and locate it. Why don't you go ahead
and work on getting the reservations?

Okay. Bye.

You calling Los Angeles for me?

My mother. I don't want to talk to her.

I'll just be a... Hello, Mom.

Hi, Mary.

Fine. Thank you.

My mother.

Of course.

And you?

Good. Listen, Mom, do you know where my
birth certificate is? I need it in sort

of a hurry so I can go to Mexico.

No, Mom. I'm not getting married.

Murray, could you get that on my long
distance with my mother?

Newsroom.

agency for you.

Hi, did you get the reservations?

Booked up?

Oh, no.

Well, what's the earliest you could get
us in?

Late May.

No, uh, I guess not. No, thank you.
Anyway, goodbye.

Gee, that's too bad. Sounded terrific.

Don't forget your mother. Oh, my mother?

You couldn't find it.

The little bracelet with baby Richards
on it.

send it, Mom. I don't think I'm going to
Mexico after all.

Oh, hang on a minute, Mom, will you?

Newsroom. Hello, Mary.

Buenos dias.

Oh, buenos dias.

Hernando. No, no, I'm not Hernando. I'm
Gustavo.

Hernando quit and went back to Mexico.
Minneapolis is too cold for him.

Is this authentic Mexican food? I want
to try the real thing.

Oh, everything we serve is authentic
Mexican.

Good.

Do you own this place?

Yeah, I just opened a week ago. Right
now I do everything, the cooking, wait

tables. You see, the Mexican population
in Minneapolis is very small.

As a matter of fact, now that Hernando's
gone, I'm it.

Well, my girlfriend and I are taking a
vacation to Mexico just next week, and

wanted to try some of your genuine
Mexican cuisine.

El zapato rojo.

Zapato? A word I know. I saw the movie.

With Marlon Brando.

Viva zapato, right?

That's zapata.

Zapato means shoe.

El zapato rojo, the red shoe.

That's an unusual name for a restaurant.

There must be an interesting story
behind that, huh?

No, I don't think so.

Hi. Oh, hi, Mayor.

Buenos dias.

Hi. Oh, Mary, I can hardly wait to try
some of these things.

Hey, what do you recommend?

The enchiladas rancheras or the chili
verde?

We're not going to Mexico, Rhoda. I
couldn't get the reservations.

I'll have a cheeseburger.

What do you mean we're not going? I
switched my vacation from June to

and you say we're not going.

Lorenzo Place was all booked up. There's
only one hotel.

Oh, Rhoda.

It's okay, ma 'am. I always wanted to
spend my vacation in my room.

Come on, come on. Don't make it worse.

Look, we'll think of something.

Pardon me.

Since I was eavesdropping, I couldn't
help overhearing. You want to go to

Lorenzo? Can you get us in there?

No. But I know of a better place down
the coast, not ruined yet by you

San Leon.

I can get you in the hotel there if you
want. Oh, well, thank you very much, but

I don't think so. What?

We are actually thinking of another
place.

What other place?

Well, I come back when you decide.

He says he can get us in that place and
you're going to turn him down? Rhoda,

we've never even seen him.

Mary, you have got to learn to trust
people. But we don't know him. How well

you know that travel agent?

I got his name out of the phone book.

Hey, Gustavo.

I'll be next week.

Good. That's good enough for me.

Go ahead and try and get us in that
place, huh? Okay, I'll give you a call

I make the arrangements.

What's your phone number?

555 -2312.

Okay, I'll call you when I find out.
Thank you very much.

Rhoda, if you're so trusting, how come
you gave him my phone number?

You can't be too careful, ma 'am.

to this one. White coral sands kissed by
the warm tangy surf.

Balmy breezes gently wax blue velvet
nights. All this can be yours for

Gee, you'd think we would have heard
from Gustavo by now, wouldn't you?

Caribbean cruises for swinging singles.

Cruises leaving Nassau, 20 Caribbean
islands, all meals included, $100 a day.

Well, just keep looking.

You're the one who turned me out to this
vacation in the sun. You and your

friend, Gustavo.

Oh, he was just trying to impress you,
Mary. Don't you know that?

When you finally get them out of
calling, you'll probably say, I'm sorry

couldn't get the reservations, but how
would you like to go out sometime?

Hello?

Oh, hello.

Buenas noches to you, too, Gustavo.

You got the reservations?

So, you know, we just figured... Well,
no, no, we haven't made any plans.

Oh, that sounds perfect.

Oh, Gustavo, this was so nice of you to
do.

Gee, I just, I don't know what to say to
say thank you.

You know, if there's ever anything that
I can do, listen, Gustavo, thanks.

And when we get back, we'll stop in and
see you and thank you in person.

Adios to you, too.

tell you, Mayor, you've got to learn to
trust people.

Say, Mayor, would you tell the caterer
to get here about 1245?

The caterer?

Oh, you mean the... That's right, the
caterer.

1245. Yes, I'll call it.

What's this caterer business?

I'm being interviewed by the TV editor
of the Times -Herald.

I thought... instead of some noisy
restaurant, it would add a touch of

I had lunch catered in my dressing room.

Say, Mary, when you speak to Ted's
caterer, would you ask him to stop by

drug counter on his way out and see if
my prescription is ready yet? Yeah.

Oh, say, Lou, the TV editor of the Times
-Herald is coming over for brunch.

Yeah? I was wondering if you might get
one of the stagehands to set up a table

and some chairs in my dressing room.

You can pretend I'm your houseboy.

You're kidding, aren't you?

What do you think?

I don't know. With you, it's so hard to
tell.

Oh, Mr. Grant, since I'm going to be
gone all next week, I've organized

everything that I'd ordinarily be doing.

I've got the program logs for the week
here, and you can see over in this

are the commercial billings. Ah, Mary.
The timings.

I don't have to be told how to read a
program log.

Do you remember who taught you to read a
program log when you first started on

this job?

Uh, yes.

Murray.

That's because I told him to. Who do you
think taught Murray to read a program

log correctly?

Actually, Mary did. The way you showed
me was wrong, Lou.

I'll just go check on Ted's table.

Thanks, Mary.

Uh, excuse me. Is Miss Richards here?
Yes, she'll be right back. I'll take

fellas.

No. This is for Miss Richard.

No, it isn't. It's for me.

That's not for you.

Give me that.

Just blew your tip, fella.

Dad, a whole dime right down the drain.

Say, Ted, I don't think that's for you.

What do you mean?

When is the last time you saw a box
lunch gift wrap?

You should have said something.

Oh, Gustavo.

Oh, hi, Miss Richards. How are you? Oh,
fine.

Today's my last day before the vacation.

Oh, Gustavo. Here's the nice man who
arranged for Rhoda and me to go to San

Leon. He owns that new Mexican
restaurant down the street. No kidding.

Last time I had New Mexican food was
when I worked in Albuquerque.

I must come there and have dinner
sometime.

Ciao.

Miss Richards?

Oh, Mary.

Mary, I was wondering, since I did a
small favor for you, if you could do a

small favor for me?

What favor?

Well, could you take this and deliver it
for me when you get to San Leon?

Well, I... It will only take a few
moments of your time, no?

Well, yes, I guess I could.

Gracias, Mary.

When you get to San Leon...

Go to number 26 Calle Juarez.

26 Calle Juarez.

Ask for a man named Lopez.

Lopez. Tell him you would like to know
where Pilar is living.

Pilar. When you get to that address, ask
for Pilar.

And only Pilar.

Only Pilar.

Hand her this package and say, Gustavo
says to think of him.

when you light what's inside.

Well, what's that supposed to mean?

She'll know.

Bless us, Mary. Have a pleasant week.
Goodbye.

Well, I certainly don't think that...
Okay,

where is it?

There.

So let's open it.

Rhoda, we can't open it.

Why not?

Because it's somebody's private package.
It's Mary's.

If they open this at customs, they'll
find you know what in there. What then?

Rhoda, they don't take that kind of
stuff into Mexico.

Maybe they're running out.

I'm going to open it.

But Rhoda, Gustavo just wouldn't ask us
to do anything illegal.

Mary, you've got to stop trusting
people.

They're going to know we opened it.

I'm very good at this. All my life.

Opening my presents early and then
wrapping them again.

Just as I thought. What?

skyline of St. Paul on the other.

Rhoda, don't read the note.

I wouldn't do that.

Good. It's in Spanish.

I wish I knew what it said.

It says, are you satisfied? Now will you
please re -wrap that?

Mary, don't get excited. There's nothing
to worry about.

Before I was a window dresser down at
the store, I was a package wrapper at

Christmas time. I was the fastest one
they had.

but I wanted to catch you before you
left for San Leon.

Uh -huh. I need the package.

Oh.

Well, I've already packed it away in my
luggage.

Oh, and I have to unpack it.

Won't you come in?

Oh.

So, how are things at the restaurant?

Oh, still slow, but picking up.

It certainly is a lovely place you have
there. Just lovely.

The package?

Yes, yes. It's in there.

I'll get it.

You know, Gustavo, Rhoda and I are so
looking forward to this trip. I just...

cannot tell you how much we appreciate
all the trouble you went to for us.

See if your package is ready.

Illegal. Oh, no.

No, not illegal.

I'm illegal, nothing.

No. It doesn't make any difference. Now,
you don't have to deliver it.

This isn't going to affect our
reservations, is it? Oh, no.

Listen, Gustavo, we really don't mind
taking it.

This was going to be a gift for, como se
dice, fiancé? That's right, fiancé.

She's getting married.

To you? No.

Not you.

I came to Minneapolis to start my
business and then send for Pilar, but

got a letter from my brother saying that
Pilar cannot wait.

Oh, Gustavo. It's all right. At least
she's more than a nice guy.

Boy, you sure don't hold a grudge.

How can I? He's my brother.

Hey, wait a minute. I think I'm going to
send the package anyway, if you don't

mind. No, not at all.

I'm just going to change the car.

Dear Pilar, the two...

American girls who are delivering this
wedding gift are my new American

girlfriends Eat out your

heart

and it's nicer than what I got. Shall we
go?

I bet your bathing suits are cuter than
mine, too.

Oh, Rhoda, they are not.

Bikinis, right?

Yes.

Mine look like sweatsuits with short
pants.