All language subtitles for mary_tyler_moore_s01e16_party_in_such_sweet_sorrow

How will you make it on your own?

This world is awfully big.

Girl, this time you're all alone.

But it's time you started living.

It's time you let someone else do some
giving.

Love is all around, no need to waste it.
You can have a town, why don't you take

it?

You might just make it after long You

might just make it

One in the morning. Thank goodness Mr.
Grant told us not to come in till noon

today. Oh, did you say you wanted bacon?
Bacon? No. No, just a hard -boiled egg.

Just a 70 -calorie hard -boiled egg for
old Tubbo.

Well, maybe a little dried toast.

With some butter on it.

Do I smell jam?

Ladies and gentlemen, the dieter.

Mary, I'm entitled to break my diet a
little. I've been good all day.

It's 10 .30 a .m.

Who is it?

It's Phyllis. Why is it always Phyllis
when I'm in a good mood?

The skin doctor game.

Dermatology. You know how it is there,
hectic and crazy.

Oh, the wonderful, wacky world of bad
skin.

Mary, I cannot tell you how satisfying
it is to be working again.

Most people would say, fellas, you have
everything. What more could you possibly

want? And I say, well, it's just not
enough for me. I mean, being a model

and a perfect mother.

time believing in us all.

I have to go to the hairdressers.

Don't you have to be at the office? How
can you have your hair done?

Mary, it's for those patients. I'm doing
this.

I feel if I look my best, it gives them
hope.

Something to shoot for.

You know I love her. I really do.

But what is it about her? I don't know,
but I'll tell you something.

She keeps on the way she's going. She's
going to give overbearing, aggressive

women a bad name.

A little commercial billing.

me to pick up her phones while she's out
to lunch.

What lunch, Mary? You know, it's been so
long, I've forgotten.

Hey, Mary, can I say something to you? I
know, I know what you're going to say,

that I am working too hard and I mustn't
let it upset me. And you're right, I

won't. I wasn't going to say that.

I was going to say, would you pull the
picture file? I need a shot of Neil

Armstrong to go with his story.

Sure.

Oh, hey, let me help you.

That's an alphabetical order.

You take the last names of the most
important persons in the picture.

Oh, this one's tough.

Who have you got?

The president and Joe Namath.

Oh, those two -hour Mexican lunches
really take it out of you.

I think I'll go to my dressing room and
have a little fiesta.

Something like a little napperino to
pick you up.

Okay, everybody stop working for a
minute.

Now, the program manager is so impressed
with the way we muddle through a half

hour of news that he's expanding the
show to a full hour.

That means a little more work from each
of us, for those who consider twice as

much a little more.

I want you all to think about how we're
going to fill that extra half hour.

I'd like to propose that we double the
airtime of this fellow right here.

Thanks, Ted. That'll give me two whole
minutes to do the weather.

Say no more, Gordo. You don't have to
tell me. You and I speak the same

language.

Right on.

Mary,

I want you to give top priority to
filling that extra half hour.

Mr. Grant, I figure that if I skip
lunches and work overtime for the next

weeks, I could maybe catch up to where I
was a month ago.

Which was? Three weeks behind.

There's a little extra money for all of
us. It's not much. No, no, Mr. Grant,

the little extra money is not going to
help me get this work done. I'm an

assistant. What I need is an assistant.

You need it? Sure.

Call personnel and tell them you need
somebody. Tell them you can pay $82 .57

week. Uh, Mr. Grant, where did you get
that figure?

That was the little extra money for all
of us.

Do you want me to do this to your
dresses, this midi thing? Yeah.

Oh, I just hate it. Of course you do.
You've got good legs.

I live in the world of fashion. I do
what all the magazines tell me to do.

You know, I wore a hard hat for a week
before I realized the magazine was

Popular Mechanics.

That was a joke. You're supposed to
laugh.

Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought I've got
problems down at the office. Well,

if I don't find somebody to help me with
all the extra work, I'm going to go

right out of my mind.

An assistant?

Yeah, helping with some work on the
show.

Why don't you just shorten her legs?

So how about me for the job?

Well, you're already working for Lars,
and I need somebody right now, so I'm

available.

Lars got a little upset at something I
did, and he gave me the old sack.

What did you do? Oh, it was nothing.
Come on, it must have been something.

these patients sitting there in his
office so i uh treated a few of them so

i said uh i'm available phyllis uh look
about the job you you wouldn't be

interested in it i mean you don't know
all the dumb things you'd have to do i

mean it's just it's all typing and
filing and boring there are no small

only small people but phyllis you're not
small enough for this job mary don't

i'll do something else

Somebody's got to want me.

Oh, I don't know.

Phyllis!

Mary, forget it.

I don't go anyplace I'm not wanted.

Okay. Oh, boy, Phyllis, okay, all right.
You want to try it for, let's say, a

week? Okay, all right, I'll try it for
two weeks.

Oh, it'll be fun. A real challenge. I'm
sure it will be.

You know, it's kind of cute. What?

I was just thinking it's cute, that's
all. Yeah?

I mean that I have my master's degree.

Yes. And you left college after two
years. And I'm your assistant.

Just cute.

And I'm telling you, Lou, it wasn't easy
in those days, those early days.

Wild -eyed kid with a dream.

Dream to be an anchorman.

Grabbing at Lady Luck.

Running around.

Reaching for the stars. Ted, your life
story has been going on for a half hour

now.

And we're just up to August 1953.

I mean, can you hurry up with a point?

It's like waiting for a sneeze.

Well, I guess I just got to reminiscing.
And I think to myself, what did I do it

for? The money?

No.

The money was the least of it.

But then again, even though the money is
the lease of it, now that we're going

to an hour... You want a raise, is that
it?

No.

I wrote a figure on this pad.

Ted, I wrote two words on this pad.

I think there's a little room for
negotiation between that figure and

words.

On the other hand, maybe not.

Phyllis, I am saying problem with your
maid or no problem. This cannot happen

again an hour late. Mary, don't do it to
yourself. Don't be a robot.

Tie down the schedules and clock.

Phyllis, for the time being, let's just
say that I'm a robot, huh?

So this is the newsroom. Yeah, this is
it.

Morning, Gordy. Hi, Mary Ellen. Oh,
Gordy, I'd like you to meet Phyllis

Lindstrom, my new assistant. This is
Gordy Howard, our weatherman.

Gordy, I just want to say one thing.

I'd love you to come over for dinner so
we can really get to know each other.

I mean, as human beings.

Because we're going to be working
together.

Yeah, uh -huh.

Gordy and I really hit it off.

to meet my new assistant, Phyllis
Lindstrom. This is Murray Slaughter. How

you do, Murray? I'd love you to come
over for dinner if you're not... Mary,

where have you been? Lou started yelling
for you an hour ago, so I had to cover

for you. Oh, thank you. What did you
tell him I was doing?

Hanging up your coat.

Well, Phyllis, here, sit down. You can
use my desk for today.

Mary, it's not too important, but there
is one thing.

What? Well, you've been calling me your
assistant.

Yeah, well, I mean, that's what you are.
I mean...

It's just a word, Phyllis. So is
inferior just a word?

Well, is there another word that you
would prefer?

Coworker.

Coworker. All right.

Finally found a hook for your coat, did
you? Oh, yeah.

I'm very sorry.

The first day of our new production
schedule and you show up an hour late.

I'm sure you have an absolutely great
excuse.

Well, Mr. Grant, I... I'm waiting.

Hallie's comet hit her on her way over.

What? Oh, let's face it. She could lie
or make up some fabulous excuse. Would

make her any more on time?

I leave it to you.

Mr. Grant, I would like you to meet my
new co -worker, Phyllis Lindstrom. This

is Mr.

Grant.

You mean she works here? Yes.

Good.

You're fired.

just trying to be helpful in her own
way.

Lou, if it'll make it up to you, I'll
stay till, say, oh, say, six o 'clock?

Very. Phyllis, our normal quitting time
is seven.

This should be an interesting day for
you.

A sort of combination orientation and
last chance.

Phyllis, this has to go into Mimeo
tonight.

Phyllis? Oh, yes. What do you want me to
do?

Well, all you have to do is just sort
this stuff into two piles. The pink

and the blue sheets.

The pinks and the blues, the pinks and
the blues. Kind of like little girl

babies and little boy babies.

Uh -huh. And?

That's it. That's it? Mm -hmm.

That's so boring.

Don't you have people who do that sort
of thing?

Uh, yes.

person who does this sort of thing. You.

I know this doesn't rival working in a
dermatologist's office. Mary, do you

the rubber stamp with my signature on
it? I have to autograph these pictures.

Oh,

yes. Phyllis Lindstrom, my new co
-worker. This is Ted Baxter.

Hi. Well, Ted Baxter.

How can I find the words?

I don't know.

thrilled and excited.

Yes, of course.

However, there is something I feel
compelled to say. It has to do with the

impression you make on others and the
tremendous impact you have on people and

how outrageously attractive you are.

Oh, I'm boring you.

You're not.

You're not. Close my heart. You're not.
Go on.

But you frustrate them, Ted. You're
strong.

You're too strong.

Almost...

You know you're the first one around
here to recognize that.

Look, I have to go to the studio right
now. What are you doing here?

Oh, just some stuff.

Come with me.

Uh, Phyllis, how's that stuff coming?

Uh, sorry, Mary, but I need this girl.

Uh, yeah, well, Ted, she's supposed to
be doing the filing. Yeah, it's more

important things to contribute to this
show than just filing some dumb blue

papers. Don't worry, Mary, I'll do it
later.

Hi, Gordy.

Yeah, uh -huh.

Lou.

Lou.

Lou.

Please. Mary, I thought you hired
Phyllis to do that.

Lou, I thought I hired Phyllis to do
this, too, Murray.

Well, if she's not doing that, what is
she doing?

Murray. This is popping you bent down.
Ted doesn't like it. See what you can do

to perk it up. Perk it up? Phyllis.

Would you excuse Phyllis and me for just
a minute, please?

Not on your life. I want to hang around
and watch you explode.

Explode? Mary doesn't explode.

Yes, Mary does explode.

It's just that Mary has this long fuse,
you see, and people think that they can

take advantage of her because she has
this long fuse. But, Phyllis, every once

in a while, the fuse burns down.

And then it just... Let me understand
this. You feel I'm taking advantage of

you, Phyllis?

Look, I gave you a job. You are supposed
to be... Filing. Filing. You are not

supposed to be coming in here and
telling... She's got me so crazy I can't

of your name.

Murray. Thank you, Murray.

You are not supposed to be coming in
here and telling Murray that... Ted.

Doesn't like his coffee.

That's not your job, Phyllis. Your job
is to be my assistant.

Coworker. Assistant, Phyllis. No, I am
not going to do your job for you. You're

right, Mary.

You were nice enough to give me this
job, and I just got swept up with the

glamour of it all. I mean, Ted Baxter,
the lights, the cameras.

Mary, just as soon as I finish up in the
studio, I'll run back here and do this.

I'll stay until midnight doing it. It's
all right. No, go.

Phyllis, you can do it in the morning. I
did most of it myself anyway.

Oh, thanks, Mary.

Uh -huh.

Mary, see what you can do to perk this
up. Hi,

Gordo. Yeah, uh -huh.

Rockefeller Nelson, Governor.

Rockefeller Winthrop, Governor.

Rockefeller David.

Rockefeller John D. Jr.

Rockefeller Happy.

Rockefeller Center.

You're filing?

No, no, no. That's, uh, that's Phyllis'
job. No, I was, uh, just, uh, looking

for something. Ah, here it is.

It's hard to believe...

that you had an urgent need for the file
on Pancho Villa.

Well, you know. Mm -hmm. Come into my
office.

Mary, I'm going to ask you a question,
and I want the truth.

How's your new assistant, Princess
Margaret Rose, shaping up?

a lot of her time with Ted in the
studio. They seem to really have hit it

mean, to the point where you might say
that she's not quite doing a single bit

of work around here.

Mary, you could use a little fatherly
advice.

The fatherly advice is, why'd you hire
her?

That's a hard one to...

Explain, Mr. Grant. She's a tracker jack
typist?

She's a great organizer?

A wizard shorthand? She helped me find
my apartment. Ah!

Rule number one.

Don't hire friends. I hired a friend
once.

You know what happened?

Worked out great.

But that's me. You can't handle it. I
can't handle Phyllis. I mean, I've known

her for years, and she's just... Well,

she's very intelligent, you know, and...

Let me put it this way, Mr. Grant. If
Phyllis were drowning, her life wouldn't

flash before her eyes.

Eleanor Roosevelt's life would flash
before her eyes.

She's... Lou, can I see a minute?

No, I'm busy.

Oh. What'd he say?

Well... What'd he say? He's busy. He's
busy?

Well, use your strength. Go on, try it
again. All right.

Lou?

You and I are going to have a little
talk.

Well, all right.

I'll just talk to the general manager.

All right, Ted.

Let's talk.

Phyllis, I think you and I have lots of
filing to do.

Remember when we had that little
discussion yesterday?

Well, that figure is still in my mind,
and this time you're not going to talk

out of it.

What's more, not only do I want that
raise we discussed, but I also want some

new writers on the show.

Now, Phyllis here tells me this Norman
Mailer fella's pretty good.

And if he's not available, how about
this Truman Capote?

E. Oh, yes, that's right. Truman E.
Capote.

Look, Ted. Now, Lou, you look.

Either I get what I want or I don't go
on tonight.

Mary. Would you get me the file on
available anchorman and their phone

They may need somebody tonight. Yes,
sir.

He's bluffing.

You're bluffing, Lou.

Trying to pull the old blufferino, eh?

Well, it won't work.

Here they are, Mr. Grant. I think
they're all up to date, so almost any

them should be available. You're trying
to bluff me, too, eh, Mayor?

Well, I'm telling you it won't work,
Lou.

I want that raise, and I want it fast.

Let's try him first.

Who are you going to dial, Mayor? The
weather report?

Fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff?

Hello, this is Mr. Lou Grant's office at
W. I think I have

some filing to do.

All right, all right.

I didn't say I needed those things I
want. I just said I wanted to talk about

it.

And I talked about it.

Who are you calling?

It's going to be fair and warmer.

Mary, she's dangerous.

She's actually got Baxter convinced he's
capable of human thought.

Mary, you've got to... Keep her away
from Ted Baxter.

No. Give her a good talking to.

No.

Fire her?

That's it.

seems a little barbaric doesn't it
putting candy out to fire somebody melts

your mouth not in your unemployment line
she was so awful at work today but it's

just see i know it's because underneath
that confidence she's really a mass of

insecurity you know so how am i going to
tell her i have to let her go i don't

know but you'll think it's something man
you're good at that

Good luck.

Good luck? What for?

Oh, nothing.

Nothing. Listen, Phyllis, I have some
coffee in the kitchen. Would you like

some? No, no, no. I had a cup
downstairs.

You're fired.

I didn't say that.

Phyllis, it just slipped out. I mean, I
just... Phyllis, sit down.

Phyllis, I am so sorry I said that, but
at least I said it. You know, at least

now it's out.

And the important thing to remember
here, Phyllis, is that... Not everybody

right for every job.

I knew it.

I kept telling myself, Phyllis, I said
dress dowdy.

What? Dress dowdy. Sure, I said marry a
pleasant -looking single girl, even a

nice -looking single girl. But you know
how touchy career gals get when you're

married and they're not.

Phyllis, what does your being married
and my being not have to do with it?

Nothing, nothing.

No, we'll just say you fired me because
I'm not right for the job. Okay? Want to

say that?

Uh, Phyllis. No, no. Come on. We'll say
that. I'll tell Lars. He'll get such a

holl out of it.

Don't worry, Mary. It doesn't matter.
Really, really.

Lars and I have fantastic plans for
tonight. You know how married people

Oh? Where are you going?

Oh, we're staying home.

Phyllis, will you please stop
apologizing? I can't help it. I mean,

just dumb and awful.

I deserve being fired, and I took it so
badly when you told me you had to let me

go. Phyllis, you know, this just really
is not necessary.

I just want you to know I know I did a
lousy job for you. I didn't do the

filing, and I came in late all the time,
and I got Lou mad at you, and I caused

dissension in the office, and I just
generally didn't do my job, and that's

I'm going to say. Good.

Now, will you sign this?

What is it?

The letter of recommendation.

As a woman may concern, Phyllis
Lindstrom is dependable, efficient,

successful, takes direction well,
organized.